Waiting for those dev rant stickers

Proper use of 21:9

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:

Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!

YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!

Her: Why do you need 3 monitors??
Me: Why do you need 6 bags on the hanger, permanently, and 23 pairs of shoes?
Her: :/

Online ads....

I think the problem is that in the age of "AI" and "machine learning" etc etc - the reality is that targeted or personalised advertising is absolutely shite.

All I see when I browse around are ads for things that I bought. It's like - I FUCKING BOUGHT THIS WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL IT TO ME??!

I think anyone worried about the machine uprising enslaving humanity can relax and not worry about it, at least until amazon can understand when it has sold you something or you just looked at something.

I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day.

Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.

My experience while learning C#:

>trying to print an HTML element of a website to console
>doesn't work
>why
>changes a few things in code
>runs code multiple times
>still doesn't work
>looks closely at code
>wait a second
>walks to wireless printer
>finds nearly 10 pieces of paper on the floor
>I hate myself

Friend: How much do you charge for a website?

Me: Depends, what do you need?

Friend: Just a basic website.

Me: I am going to need more details than that, is it static HTML site? Do you want to be able to add content yourself? Do you have hosting? Do you....

Friend: Dude, just give me a rough estimate.

Me: But...

Friend: It's for a friend, he has an idea for a business.

Me: ...fine...$100 million 👿

//Because making a website is just a push of a button to some people

Currently working as student part timer on a company that I really like.
When I'll finish my bachelor's degree, I will have been there for about 2-3 Years, additional to my 5 years working prior to that as a developer.

Today I learned, that our company doesn't usually pay the market price for devs (not a huge company, 150 employees, so it's understandable).
So now I don't know what to shoot for when discussing a raise after my degree. Should I still aim for market price? Should I argue with that and hope for the best?
I'm really unsure about that stuff...

When frontend is ready before backend

I am not even surprised...

This is when writing a script that sets up your dev environment pays off...

Having 6 new employees join our startup. The script installs pretty much all dev tools and apps as well as sets up the device management profiles. 😎

That would be the time when i got fired from my last job. Hosting company, it had lots of good stuff and bonusses, coworkers were great, i was doing really important stuff when suddenly, i got fired and replaced... 'You have a too strong personality, sometimes you're just too outspoken'... At hearing those words, i felt very sad. Took a few bottles of champagne from the fridge at work (they had those apparently a year already, nobody touched them)... I left the building, together with two coworkers who became friends, drank the two bottles of champagne... i was crying... Because i got smacked in the face due to my personality. Admitted i am an extravert, and i do dare to talk back when it's needed, always polite, but ensuring i was not agreeing. Still i did my job pretty well. I was practically the only one that was multi-lingual!

After that i became a freelancer. It was a good start, a lesser good intermission, but next month i am starting at a goverment department for long term, so future is looking good.

My most intense day as a dev was when we had a product announcement day (with 70 engineers from dozens of companies invited) and the night before the app still didn't run all of the way through.

My team and I worked all night and had our first successful run-through at 10am when the announcement presentation and demo was at 1pm. All I can say is that I didn't breath when that demo was running live... But it worked flawlessly.

After that experience I realized that I had enough of non-tech management setting unrealistic deadlines, quit that job, and am now helping to build a startup. It has been so much more fulfilling and now I set the deadlines. 😎

Hey everyone! As many of you have already seen, we just finished rolling out a new feature that allows you to subscribe to specific users! This feature sends you an in-app and push notification whenever anyone you subscribe to posts a new rant. You can subscribe to a user from the button in the top right of their profile or one of their rants.

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I thought devRant was the most awesome app, before seeing it

What do you guys think of codecademy, free code camp and their likes? Please recommend good learning platforms better than these for absolute beginners.
Also can you use android studio for java programs and not just android apps?

Programming is like a magic, you can accomplish things that normal human beings can't.

A friend of mine went to her boss and said that she will quit if she won't get 50% salary raise - boss said ok. She told about it her working colleague so he went to the boss and said 50% or I'll quit - boss said cleanup your desk...

-- Okay, I know this code is Jerry-rigged but it'll work for now.

Pretty sure that's racially insensitive to Germans but who knows.

Naming a variable "dogFucker" in anger and accidentally committing it.

Killing your co-worker.

While I was browsing the server through a ftp client, it froze for a sec and the next thing i notice is that a folder is missing. It was then when i found out the "drag'n'drop" feature.. Ofcourse it took me a few minutes to figure it out and ofcourse everything crashed. Btw, it was an asp.net web application I fucked up..on public..with more than 100 clients...o.o

I'd been with the company for maybe two weeks, pushed some changes and updates to a client's site on a Friday afternoon as instructed by my boss, checked everything over and it's all fine.

Come Monday morning and this client is seriously miffed, not all of the changes had applied and the site was a mess all weekend. Turns out a bug with the caching plugin meant what we were getting in the office was different to outside.

Meetings were held and a new QA procedure was put in place.

I was part of a on-call rotation. We had ~800 microsites with decent traffic on this one box, because that's a good idea...

One day the box was experiencing kernel panics and causing core dumps. After exhausting every possiblity I decided it was time to restart the box:

sudo shutdown now

Missed the -r and the box was not accessible remotely. Had to wait for someone at the data center to terminal in.

Downtime was ~2 hours.

This was caused by a crontab that automatically ran apt-get update & apt-get upgrade... Also made by me... None of this should have worked or allowed to be done!

After working for this company for only a couple years, I was tasked with designing and implementing the entire system for credit card encryption and storage and token management. I got it done, got it working, spent all day Sunday updating our system and updating the encryption on our existing data, then released it.

It wasn't long into Monday before we started getting calls from our clients not being able to void or credit payments once they had processed. Looking through the logs, I found the problem was tokens were getting crossed between companies, resulting in the wrong companies getting the wrong tokens. I was terrified. Fortunately I had including safe guards tying each token to a specific company, so they were not able to process the wrong cards. We fixed it that night.

I was developing a project that also featured automatic payment to specific sites. I asked for a dummy credit card and he insisted I use the company's credit card. Who would ever want to give a developer actual credit card credentials for development!? I was a junior dev back then. Of course, I failed once. I got told off because I wasted money. My team leader defended me and said this is the risk of having projects with payments. I got proof I asked for a possible sandbox for payment or whatever that will work for development. Almost got fired. Because of that incident, I'm not comfortable working with projects dealing with payment that doesn't have sandboxes.

I uploaded a release APK to Play Store with the API host set to the local address I used in dev 192.168.x.x:8000 :/

I styled the entire site...with inline CSS....only