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"Oh, he is asking that much money for this website? I will create that for only $250 with WordPress. He is just trying to use you"
You fucking wanker. What you don't understand is that you are pushing the companies to a fucking black hole that they won't be able to recover from.
He shows an example of a website which takes 30 sec to load. It's full of hundreds of dreadful plugins. He chose the shittiest stock pictures to make it look "pretty".
When I point out his fucking shite website takes this long to load, he says if the company wants to make the website fast, they will need buy the premium plan of CloudFlare. WHAT THE FUCK are you even talking about?
Not only that, the example website, doesn't even have any SSL. He is saying that the other company didn't want to pay for the SSL. Ever heard of fucking StartSSL or LetsEncrypt?
It's people like you who is responsible for making half of the web an insecure, slow, low-performance space which is prone to hacking.
WordPress was made for blogging. KEEP IT THAT WAY. Stop trying to make your high-performance CMS or eCommerce website with this shite.18
- cash only
- cash and balance
- cash and receipt
- cash and balance and receipt
- cash only
- would you like to see your balance
- would you like a receipt
IF I WANTED A FUCKING RECEIPT OR TO FUCKING CHECK MY BALANCE THEN I WOULD HAVE MADE THAT CHOICE WHEN YOU FIRST ASKED ME. YOU FUCKING CUNT.
I EXPLICITLY CHOSE “CASH ONLY” SO JUST FUCKING ASK ME HOW MUCH I WANT TO WITHDRAW AND THEN LET ME GET THE FUCK ON WITH MY BASTARDING DAY!!21
Active Noise Cancellation (ANC) headphones in, whatever music that your mood requires at the time (my taste varies from classical to country to blues to jazz, pop, rock, metal and even heavy metal (growls) at times).
libre.fm is a good source for non-redundant music. The community channel is actually very good. (even though some crap do creep in every once in a while)
If you can zone out the noise around you, have a coffee machine within your chair's (assuming it has wheels) roll-range - you're all good.
PS : There's one problem that you can never rule out - interruptions from people around you, for that, you make a list of predefined answers :10
So my fucking shit Epson printer can't print black and white without colour ink cartridges. FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING MONEY SUCKING PIECE OF SHITE.26
I have a colleague who has a fear of closing any window. He'll let his Mac run for months on end without closing any of the windows he's opened. He also has all kinds of browsers with tons of tabs open. He's a designer so I get his urge to not do all the technical bits and bobs every day, but for the love of zalgo restart your computer once in a while. Or at least close windows you don't use. It's come to a point where non of us want to help him, because helping him out takes forever with his slow as shit computer. We've asked/told/joked about it too him several times, but he just doesn't want to listen. At one point when I was helping him everything took so long that I decided to reboot for him. And of course Mac had to go and reopen every window that was open during shutdown, which took another good fifteen minutes. Shite OS. And naturally he spent the next hour fixing everything the way he liked it. He hasn't turned off his computer since (couple of months ago), except for when we moved to a new building a month ago.
Just had to get that annoyance of my chest.8
When I first joined the profession, I had a mentor who refused to give me straight-forward answers to my questions / queries. He always had the same answer, "Google it. Find the solution yourself." I hated him for that. Sometimes he used to explain that it was for my own good (blah, blah, the usual stuff) and not because he didn't know or couldn't give me the answer straight-away. I still thought it was just that I was too smart to ask all the right (complicated) questions and he didn't have the answers.
(Of course, that is a bit too exaggerated; he used to help me out with complicated stuff when he knew I was blocked and couldn't move further; he wasn't a sore mentor; he was a good one, in his own way.)
Several years later, I find myself giving the same answers and advice to juniors I mentor. It turns out that push to figure things out on my own did me a lot of good. I'm able to approach any problem head-on and not freak out even if the specs or the deadlines seem surreal. I know how to "figure" answers to problems that I come across for the first time. In the process you learn a lot of stuff that "keep you ahead of the curve and not grow old".2
I had a friend whom I met in an open-source community. We hadn't been in touch for a while because of the distances of where we were. Coincidentally, we happened to be working in the same city. When we knew that we were in the same city, we decided to meet and catch up. We met over dinner and this person went on and on about his company and how cool the culture was there.
Towards the end, I jokingly said, "If your company is so cool, why don't you get me a job there?"
2 weeks later, he sends me an email address and asks me to send my resume to it.
1 more week later, HR from the company calls and asks whether I can come to office to chat.
I agree and head over there over lunch break. I _speak_ to the person who was going to be my manager and later to the CTO. The CTO asks me a few technological questions and sends me off.
1 week later, I call up HR just to know how I fared in the interview. They say that they'll give me an update within the week.
Next week I get a call from HR asking when I can join. Could I join with 2 weeks of notice period? I could try, the pay was almost double that I was already earning.
I speak to my existing boss about the offer and they offer me an immediate hike of 30%. That gives me a notion that I was already under-paid. I wouldn't want to continue working with an employer who knowingly paid me low (even though I was content with what I was getting already). I make my decision to quit. Puts in my 2-week notice period and join the new company on the said date.15
Worst legacy experience...
Called in by a client who had had a pen test on their website and it showed up many, many security holes. I was tasked with coming in and implementing the required fixes.
Site turned out to be Classic ASP built on an MS Access database. Due to the nature of the client, everything had to be done on their premises (kind of ironic but there you go). So I'm on-site trying to get access to code and server. My contact was *never* at her desk to approve anything. IT staff "worked" 11am to 3pm on a long day. The code itself was shite beyond belief.
The site was full of forms with no input validation, origin validation and no SQL injection checks. Sensitive data stored in plain text in cookies. Technical errors displayed on certain pages revealing site structure and even DB table names. Server configured to allow directory listing in file stores so that the public could see/access whatever they liked without any permission or authentication checks. I swear this was written by the child of some staff member. No company would have had the balls to charge for this.
Took me about 8 weeks to make and deploy the changes to client's satisfaction. Could have done it in 2 with some support from the actual people I was suppose to be helping!! But it was their money (well, my money as they were government funded!).1
After a couple years as a developer I've learned that all those banking sites and cool online stores and apps are held together with old chewed gum, duck tape and that guys who has been in the office 48h straight and whose wife thinks he's dead.2
My dad used to be a Marketing Manager. He used to make a lot of presentations et al for his meetings. We got our first computer in our house when I was around 7 years old. It was first Windows 95, but I wasn't fortunate enough to even touch the machine. My dad was very protective about the machine. He himself would not use it unless he had to complete some work overnight. For me, it was an absolute wonder as to how and what that thing in the bedroom sitting on the desk next to my parents bedside was. I used to hide and peek around the door sill when my dad was working on it. He became a bit more lenient with the Windows 98 and let me and my sibling play DOS games under his supervision for a limited time.
Over time, I managed to look over his shoulder for the passwords - both BIOS and OS user passwords and started logging in myself. By now, my dad would let me sit on the bed near him when I looked curiously as he worked. Then I had to figure how to connect to the internet and surf the web. And there folks is how my journey with computers began.4
So today was shite. I get done with classes for today after going to work in the morning( college student) and I get a phone call. SURPRISE! We have a client meeting in twenty minutes.
My class runs from 5-9 and the meeting was scheduled at 7:30. I was let out early thank god. Then made sure that we had deliverables for the project running and ready to go.
Meeting with the client went well and he was pleased with my progress.
Now I have been the only one developing any sort of deliverable for this website. It originally started out with three people. The main developer will call him Cunt and a front-end dev that isn't on the project anymore.
FUCKING CUNT DECIDED TO COME AT ME FOR SAYING THAT THERE WAS A MISCOMMUNICATION ERROR AND ONE OF THE TASKS WASNT FINISHED. THEN CUNT ASKED IF I HAD ALL OF THE FRONT DEVS PAGES TO WHICH I SIGHED YES. CUNT FUCKFACE PROCEEDED TO EDUCATE ME ON HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DEVS AND NOT MAKE CRITICIZE HER CODE. UM CUNT YOU HAVENT COMMUNICATED WITH HER FOR THE THREE MONTHS IVE BEEN ON THIS PROJECT. AND YOUVE CONSTANTLY AVOIDED BEING IN THE OFFICE WHEN ANYONE IS PRESENT AND EVEN SHOOED HER AWAY. THE FACT THAT CUNT ISNT FIRED IS BECAUSE I TOOK LEAD ON HIS PROJECT AND HAVE MAKING EVERY DEADLINE FOR THIS AND OTHER PROJECTS.
Moral of this. Don't be a CUNT!2
I don't understand this. How is that Facebook is one of the biggest company in the world and have the worst fucking mobile apps ever created. I just use messenger to talk with my mom and it's utter rubbish.
When a call arrives, there's no way to silence that call apart from setting the phone to mute. All the other apps shut up when you either click power button or volume button. But this fucking messenger piece of Satan's anus won't respond to any fucking button when I have a call.
Not only that, once you have received the call, there's no way you can rotate the app without ending the call, turning on auto rotate and call again. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? how the fuck is it that you're so fucking big but you don't have this simple features in your fucking app?
And yeah, most of the time, when I receive a call in mobile, it doesn't appear on the desktop website. If it does and I receive the call from there, the mobile app still keeps shouting. AND GUESS WHAT, at that point, if I reject the call from the mobile, it will end the call that I accepted from the desktop. HAHA, WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE.
Facebook, please stop being a piece of shite. Put your goddamn money to good use. If you can't make a good app, maybe outsource it to other companies. They will do a better job than you.22
There's this one Windows PC, hiding in the darkest corner of the office, just running a network service all day. Suddenly the service is not available any longer... Opening explorer.exe to see what's up with the machine, while wiping a thick layer of dust from the screen: Zero bytes free memory on C:\ ...
Assuming that some log files have caused all the occupied space. NOPE! Instead, Windows update just installed a shitton of updates. They all failed, of course... After not being able to simply remove them, deciding to uninstall some programs and kill Windows update. Finally 800MB of free space!
Suddenly stumbling over a Visual Studio 2008 installation. Who the hell installed this on the PC? Absolute bullshit. Nevermind. Uninstall this shite.
The uninstaller takes ages to do anything, then aborts the uninstallation showing the popup "there is not enough space to uninstall". Looking into the memory indicator: 0 bytes left. DAAAAFUUUQ Microsoft??? WTFFFFFFF?!? 800MB to UNINSTALL Visual Studio? Are you for real???
Ended up force-deleting the directory: 3 Gigs free now...6
Fucking bastard cunting customers I am not starting your shite at two minute to going home time, if you don't like go fuck yourself. #rant over17
I think the problem is that in the age of "AI" and "machine learning" etc etc - the reality is that targeted or personalised advertising is absolutely shite.
All I see when I browse around are ads for things that I bought. It's like - I FUCKING BOUGHT THIS WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL IT TO ME??!
I think anyone worried about the machine uprising enslaving humanity can relax and not worry about it, at least until amazon can understand when it has sold you something or you just looked at something.6
The new MacBook Pro with touchbar is ABSOLUTELY SHITE.
I can't tell you how many times I have accidentally touched the escape key with my pinky while typing. Also accidentally touched "send" while in apple Mail halfway through writing something.
Apple clearly did no user testing with this as I have googled around and many folk are having the same frustrations.
I've just typed a massive note into jira and towards the end my pinky hit the escape key and I lost everything!!
FUCK CUNT BASTARD WANK!!!12
College can be one of the worst investments for an IT career ever.
I've been in university for the past 3 years and my views on higher education have radically changed from positive to mostly cynical.
This is an extremely polarizing topic, some say "your college is shite", "#notall", "you complain too much", and to all of you I am glad you are happy with your expensive toilet paper and feel like your dick just grew an inch longer, what I'll be talking about is my personal experience and you may make of it what you wish. I'm not addressing the best ivy-league Unis those are a whole other topic, I'll talk about average Unis for average Joes like me.
Higher education has been the golden ticket for countless generations, you know it, your parents believe in it and your grandparents lived it. But things are not like they used to be, higher education is a failing business model that will soon burst, it used to be simple, good grades + good college + nice title = happy life.
Sounds good? Well fuck you because the career paths that still work like that are limited, like less than 4.
The above is specially true in IT where shit moves so fast and furious if you get distracted for just a second you get Paul Walkered out of the Valley; companies don't want you to serve your best anymore, they want grunt work for the most part and grunts with inferiority complex to manage those grunts and ship the rest to India (or Mexico) at best startups hire the best problem solvers they can get because they need quality rather than quantity.
Does Uni prepare you for that? Well...no, the industry changes so much they can't even follow up on what it requires and ends up creating lousy study programs then tells you to invest $200k+ in "your future" for you to sweat your ass off on unproductive tasks to then get out and be struck by jobs that ask for knowledge you hadn't even heard off.
Remember those nights you wasted drawing ER diagrams while that other shmuck followed tutorials on react? Well he's your boss now, but don't worry you will wear your tired eyes, caffeine saturated breath and overweight with pride while holding your empty title, don't get me wrong I've indulged in some rough play too but I have noticed that 3 months giving a project my heart and soul teaches me more than 6 months of painstakingly pleasing professors with big egos.
And the soon to be graduates, my God...you have the ones that are there for the lulz, the nerds that beat their ass off to sustain a scholarship they'll have to pay back with interests and the ones that just hope for the best. The last two of the list are the ones I really feel bad for, the nerds will beat themselves over and over to comply with teacher demands not noticing they are about to graduate still versioning on .zip and drive, the latter feel something's wrong but they have no chances if there isn't a teacher to mentor them.
And what pisses me off even more is the typical answers to these issues "you NEED the title" and "you need to be self taught". First of all bitch how many times have we heard, seen and experienced the rejection for being overqualified? The market is saturated with titles, so much so they have become meaningless, IT companies now hire on an experience, economical and likeability basis. Worse, you tell me I need to be self taught, fucker I've been self taught for years why would I travel 10km a day for you to give me 0 new insights, slacking in my face or do what my dog does when I program (stare at me) and that's just on the days you decide to attend!
But not everything is bad, college does give you three things: networking, some good teachers and expensive dead tree remnants, is it worth the price tag, not really, not if you don't need it.
My broken family is not one of resources and even tho I had an 80% scholarship at the second best uni of my country I decided I didn't need the 10+ year debt for not sleeping 4 years, I decided to go to the 3rd in the list which is state funded; as for that decision it worked out as I'm paying most of everything now and through my BS I've noticed all of the above, I've visited 4 universities in my country and 4 abroad and even tho they have better everything abroad it still doesn't justify some of the prices.
If you don't feel like I do and you are happy, I'm happy for you. My rant is about my personal experience which is kind of in the context of IT higher education in the last ~8 years.
Just letting some steam off and not regretting most of my decisions.15
Thinking about this makes me pull my fucking hairs.
The fact that I have to look for the actual content in a website, among all the ads, prompts and fucking stupid design is fucking ridiculous.
Every fucking website is following this designs now. Always showing popups to subscribe to their fucking newsletter the moments you visit the site.
Can you please let me fucking read the content I require first?
"No fucking way. I will block 80% of the viewport with unnecessary stuff. I will place my ads on the left and right side. On the bottom, I will have a blocking div that will prompt you to subscribe to our newsletter. And on the top, we will have this huge fucking navbar which will take 30% of the view. That 20% area left in the middle? yeah, good luck on finding something useful in there"
Then there are this fucking cunts, that blocks the whole website the moment you enter.
"Oh, you need some information, right? Why not just subscribe to our emails first so that we can send your useless junks every now and then".
Oh my fucking batman, don't even remind me of those stupidass videos. Now 90% of the popular website will play a video immediately after you enter the website.
And guess what?! The volume will be amplified to 500% so that that's the sound you will ever hear in your lifetime.
The fucking web is becoming absolute shite right now. We really need a revolution here which makes the websites show the appropriate amount of ads and prevents them from doing all these stupids shits.5
Wife ( working from home; to husband ) : how many whistles did the pressure cooker blow?
Husband : How am I supposed to know? I don't know!
Manager ( on Skype ) : Three! I heard three whistles!6
One of our newly-joined junior sysadmin left a pre-production server SSH session open. Being the responsible senior (pun intended) to teach them the value of security of production (or near production, for that matter) systems, I typed in sudo rm --recursive --no-preserve-root --force / on the terminal session (I didn't hit the Enter / Return key) and left it there. The person took longer to return and the screen went to sleep. I went back to my desk and took a backup image of the machine just in case the unexpected happened.
On returning from wherever they had gone, the person hits enter / return to wake the system (they didn't even have a password-on-wake policy set up on the machine). The SSH session was stil there, the machine accepted the command and started working. This person didn't even look at the session and just navigated away elsewhere (probably to get back to work on the script they were working on).
Five minutes passes by, I get the first monitoring alert saying the server is not responding. I hoped that this person would be responsible enough to check the monitoring alerts since they had a SSH session on the machine.
Seven minutes : other dependent services on the machine start complaining that the instance is unreachable.
I assign the monitoring alert to the person of the day. They come running to me saying that they can't reach the instance but the instance is listed on the inventory list. I ask them to show me the specific terminal that ran the rm -rf command. They get the beautiful realization of the day. They freak the hell out to the point that they ask me, "Am I fired?". I reply, "You should probably ask your manager".
Lesson learnt the hard-way. I gave them a good understanding on what happened and explained the implications on what would have happened had this exact same scenario happened outside the office giving access to an outsider. I explained about why people in _our_ domain should care about security above all else.
There was a good 30+ minute downtime of the instance before I admitted that I had a backup and restored it (after the whole lecture). It wasn't critical since the environment was not user-facing and didn't have any critical data.
Since then we've been at this together - warning engineers when they leave their machines open and taking security lecture / sessions / workshops for new recruits (anyone who joins engineering).26
Junior dev requests for sudo access on a server instance for some package installation, gets it, figures out how to open the root shell - never goes back. They do everything on root.
Fast forward to production deployment time, their application won't run without elevated privileges. Sysadmin asks why does the application require elevated privileges. Dev answers, "Because I set it up with root" :facepalm:15
"four million dollars"
TL;DR. Seriously, It's way too long.
That's all the management really cares about, apparently.
It all started when there were heated, war faced discussions with a major client this weekend (coonts, I tell ye) and it was decided that a stupid, out of context customisation POC had that was hacked together by the "customisation and delivery " (they know to do neither) team needed to be merged with the product (a hot, lumpy cluster fuck, made in a technology so old that even the great creators (namely Goo-fucking-gle) decided that it was their worst mistake ever and stopped supporting it (or even considering its existence at this point)).
Today morning, I my manager calls me and announces that I'm the lucky fuck who gets to do this shit.
Now being the defacto got admin to our team (after the last lead left, I was the only one with adequate experience), I suggested to my manager "boss, here's a light bulb. Why don't we just create a new branch for the fuckers and ask them to merge their shite with our shite and then all we'll have to do it build the mixed up shite to create an even smellier pile of shite and feed it to the customer".
"I agree with you mahaDev (when haven't you said that, coont), but the thing is <insert random manger talk here> so we're the ones who'll have to do it (again, when haven't you said that, coont)"
I said fine. Send me the details. He forwarded me a mail, which contained context not amounting to half a syllable of the word "context". I pinged the guy who developed the hack. He gave me nothing but a link to his code repo. I said give me details. He simply said "I've sent the repo details, what else do you require?"
Dafuq? Dude, gimme some spice. Dafuq you done? Dafuq libraries you used? Dafuq APIs you used? Where Dafuq did you get this old ass checkout on which you've made these changes? AND DAFUQ IS THIS TOOL SUPPOSED TO DO AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT MY PRODUCT?
Anyway, since I didn't get a lot of info, I set about trying to just merge the code blindly and fix all conflicts, assuming that no new libraries/APIs have been used and the code is compatible with our master code base.
Enter delivery head. 2nd motherfucker.
This coont neither has technical knowledge nor the common sense to ask someone who knows his shit to help out with the technical stuff.
I find out that this was the half assed moron who agreed to a 3 day timeline (and our build takes around 13 hours to complete, end to end). Because fuck testing. They validated the their tool, we've tested our product. There's no way it can fail when we make a hybrid cocktail that will make the elephants foot look like a frikkin mojito!
Anywho, he comes by every half-mother fucking-hour and asks whether the build has been triggered.
Bitch. I have no clue what is going on and your people apparently don't have the time to give a fuck. How in the world do you expect me to finish this in 5 minutes?
Anyway, after I compile for the first time after merging, I see enough compilations to last a frikkin life time. I kid you not, I scrolled for a complete minute before reaching the last one.
Again, my assumption was that there are no library or dependency changes, neither did I know the fact that the dude implemented using completely different libraries altogether in some places.
Now I know it's my fault for not checking myself, but I was already having a bad day.
I then proceeded to have a little tantrum. In the middle of the floor, because I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT CHANGES WERE MADE AND NOBODY CARED ENOUGH TO GIVE A FUCKING FUCK ABOUT THE DAMN FUCK.
Lo and behold, everyone's at my service now. I get all things clarified, takes around an hour and a half of my time (could have been done in 20 minutes had someone given me the complete info) to find out all I need to know and proceed to remove all compilation problems.
Hurrah. In my frustration, I forgot to push some changes, and because of some weird shit in our build framework, the build failed in Jenkins. Multiple times. Even though the exact same code was working on my local setup (cliche, I know).
In any case, it was sometime during sorting out this mess did I come to know that the reason why the 2nd motherfucker accepted the 3 day deadline was because the total bill being slapped to the customer is four fucking million USD.
Greed. Wow. The fucker just sacrificed everyone's day and night (his team and the next) for 4mil. And my manager and director agreed. Four fucking million dollars. I don't get to see a penny of it, I work for peanut shells, for 15 hours, you'll get bonuses and commissions, the fucking junior Dev earns more than me, but my manager says I'm the MVP of the team, all I get is a thanks and a bad rating for this hike cycle.
4mil usd, I learnt today, is enough to make you lick the smelly, hairy balls of a Neanderthal even though the money isn't truly yours.4
Me: *builds smol website for blogging purposes*
Hmm 🤔 so I need to be able to find a way to display properly to mobile clients as well, the desktop style is shite on my phones... How about going for all-screen and less than 1440px width? I mean there don't exist any phones with over 1440px width and I'm sure that everyone is now using 1920px width on their desktop panels (please keep the portrait desktop monitor setups out for now 😢)... Aight, looks nice now in both desktop and mobile. Awesome!
Few days later...
Le Telegram inbox: *ping*!
User: um yeah your font is way too large
Me: *looks at screenshot* (at least it was an actual screenshot, not a picture) well that's the mobile view.. why are you using that, what's your resolution?
Why are you doing this to yourself and why are you doing this to me 😭24
I've never ever fully completed a side-project like I envisioned it to be. If I had, I'd have my own company already. It's mostly because I didn't have the time (no, that's a lie; or just an excuse). It's mainly because I haven't been motivated enough to see it through to the end. My motivation life-span ends when I get distracted by something else and in the end ends up like the Commit Strip.2
So I had to use office and image editing tools on Linux today.
Holy mother fucking god are these things awful. Gimp, pinta, gnome paint, libre office, open office... they seem like a project some guy threw together a weekend in his bedroom. The UX is shite and makes 0 sense. They crash and lag all over the place. For fuck sake!
Also... Gimp, libre office and open office. If you want to make an alternative to a well known product (Photoshop and MS Office in this example) then just fucking copy the god damn UI as much as you can. No-one is going to go learn your fucking half ass product, people only use this shit because it's free and available on Linux.
I swear, I seriously considered sending the images to my phone and just fucking edit them there because it would have been so much easier than using this pile of shit.
The Interview (Part 2)
I feel like I can make 13 episodes of this shit. I reviewed another resume that has more than ten pages and contains very little useful information. What kind of pain, internal hemorrhage, brain damage, and trauma does one have to endure before he decides:
"I'm gonna make my resume thicker than old school Song Hits magazine. That would be really cool. That would get me hired."
Jesus Christ, I summon you again. I told you dying for these little fucks isn't worth it but nooooo, no one ever listens to me. iM gUnNa DiE aNyWaY, nAiL mE oVa ThErE. Now look at this shit, one "block" per page.
1. Each block contains the position, company, and responsibilities except each block is repeated over and over again for each "project".
2. Each project has no specific name, just numbers but Project 1, 2, 3, and so on just isn't enough so he used roman numerals instead. Roman fucking numerals. I thought that was the name of the project until I scrolled through the different companies he's been in and that format persists starting from Project I to Project XII.
3. Each responsibility starts in a new line, some are not capitalized so you don't even know if it's the continuation of the previous sentence or what except sometimes, there is no previous sentence.
4. The blocks aren't even arranged properly. He has experiences from 2019, 2018, **2015**, and then 2018 again, 2017, 2016, and so on. I know this because I tried to give the guy a chance. Maybe he's one of those good developers who are just absolutely terrible with these things so I tried to "extract" the gist of the resume.
5. The gist is "nothing to see here". He just did all of this to look like he has plenty of experience and the recruiter must have thought "Wow, I bet this guy would pass." He had five years of experience but all I got aside from the giant headers are "joined the project blah blah", "used <something so basic, it's not worth mentioning> to maintain blah blah", and something in the tune of "changed the scrollbar to blah blah".
Ass Licker - Project VII
Honduras Bitches Inc.
Joined the brothel.
maintained my twerky bitchy assfuck
Used Fontawesome and jQuery shit ass mothafucka some dumb shit here, I don't give a shite anymore, I'm dead inside.
I.. I just.. Why? I don't know anyone who have this kind of resume and yet here I am reviewing this kind of shit from the type of people I didn't know existed. Why do we have to take something so simple and turn it into something that is so difficult to understand or even look at?12
I lost sleep because of Kubernetes...
Rancher you fucking cuck you didn't tell me ahead of time OpenEBS can't RWX YA FOKIN WANKER FUCKING DAFT CUNT PIECE OF SHITE BLOODY BELLEND7
Can someone just please come over and safe me? I am soooooo done with all this bullshit code. I understand why people loathe PHP, it enables totally worthless people to carry the title 'programmer' because hurrrdurrr look at my website, I made this. Fuck yes, you made that and you should SHAME yourself! What the actual flying fuck I can't begin to explain the monstrosities that I find checking out this worthless pile of fucking garbage.
User passwords saved as plaintext in database? Check!
Using hungarian notation, camecase and snakecase inconsistently? Check!
Typejuggling like you're the mainman of the Insane Clown Posse? Check!
Everything is a mess, there is no documenation, no consistency no nothing, this is straight from the 9th circle of programmers hell.
Aaaaaaarghhhhh I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WORTHLESS PILE OF GARBAGE!!!!
The original dev prefixed every spagetthifile with his copyright shite so im gonna look him up and highfive him in the face with my laptop and after that printing out my resignation letter in comic sans fontsize 78 because FUCK YOU
Friend: hey could you help me with buying / fixing xy?
Me: sure no problem, because I can appreciate being needed.
End of story2
Absolutely hate these "moving up", "stairs of success", "we are so diverse!" stock photos all over the internet.
You feel like you are being subtle, fuck no. Unless your target audience is stupid as as fuck, this photos looks dumb and over the top. And what is up with this "diversity" all over the place? don't get me wrong, I am all for diversity. But learn how to apply it properly.
"Looks like we need a picture of a student. Oh no, we need to be diverse. Add 15 kids of 15 different ethincity in the same picture to make sure we looks diverse. Phew!"
And the animations. Holy fucking shite. Why is it that a cheap website immediatly means that your website needs to have 100 different animation in the front page.
Seriously, picture rolling from here and there. Text coming out of nowhere.Everything being squeezed and rotated. God damn it!
This is another reason I fucking hate these 1 click websites and shite like that. This fucking website was created with WiX and my God, it's a fucking nightmare.
Good news is client is recreating the website.3
So I just decided I'd hotspot my phone to my laptop (as I have no WiFi) and stream a film I've wanted to watch for a while.
Turns out my shite ass mobile provider wants credit card details to prove I'm over 18.
I'm sorry, what?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU NOSY OVER CONTROLLING SHIT STAINS! THAT IS A PARENT'S JOB, NOT YOURS.
fucking hell. What is wrong with this fucking race?
Oh, and I can't torrent it because that's blocked too.7
Some doosh on the bus is listening to shite music without headphones while I'm trying to get this mornings work started... If my netbook had better speakers I'd start blasting AC/DC at full volume!6
Well this has been unexpected.
Just bought metro exodus cause it will have Linux version and well i installed it via proton well because its fast to download now.
I turn it on.
30 fps in menu on low.
Well shite. This is not good at all.
I OC the GPU.
32 Fps in menu on low.
I notice there isnt ACO next to my GPU name in DXVK_HUD.
Maybe they deleted that.
I check the code.
Nope still there.
I dont have it enabled ?
I look at my enviroment file.
WTF. Its Off.
*Turns it on*
Turn on ME again.
45fps in menu without OC. WIth OC its 50 fps.
Wooooha. Now thats lots of FPS.
I turn it up to high details.
Runs OK but you just have to disable motion blur in config file. Its fucking cancer.
Average of 55fps. :O14
when you have 6GB worth of unused kernels on your machine and your machine is desperately crying for MOAR storage space!4
So I'm making a file uploader for a buddy of mine and I got an error that I had never seen before. Suddenly I had C++ code and some other weird shite in my terminal. Turns our that I got a memory leak and the first thing that sprung to mind was "Fuck yes, I get to do some NCIS ass debugging".
Now the app worked fine for smaller files, like 5MB - 10MB files, but when I tried with some Linux ISO's it would produce the memory leak.
Well I opened the app with --inspect and set some breakpoints and after setting some breakpoints I found it. Now, for this app I needed to do some things if the user uploads an already existing file. Now to do that I decided to take the SHA string of the file and store it in a database. To do this I used fs.readFile aaaaaaaaaand this is where it went wrong. fs.readFile doesn't read the file as a stream.
Well when I found that, boy did I feel stupid :v5
Damn it! today I learnt that GitHub has a tool called Hub - "an extension to command-line git that helps you do everyday GitHub tasks without ever leaving the terminal".
It's been around for 10 years.
And here I was clicking on the link that was sent by the remote after every push to open a pull request 🤦♂️
It even comes with vim syntax support for pull requests.
I'm never leaving the terminal to do things on the GitHub web interface anymore1
This fucking Adobe piece of shite.
I get it, you probably make one of the best editing software available out there. But if you could stop rearranging all the icons and features in your UI, that would be fucking great so that I don't have to search on the internet for hours to find out a simple feature.3
Everytime I boot into windows soemthing goes wrong. Driver that doesn't load properly, loss of connection on a fucking RJ45 cable, boot process that locks the desktop for about 5mns randomly... What the hell!?!??! I just don't get any of this crap on Linux. And also, how the fuck is Microsoft expecting to draw the Linux crowed to them by putting linux on top of their massive steaming pile of plague ridden shite?!? Linux works very well without that stink! F.U. Microsoft! and F.U. to your imbred, affront-to-nature, colossal putrifying piece of gelatinous diarrhetic shite of an OS!
.|.. (o_o) ..|.9
POS of software.
Was working with a client to change one email to contact and that shite kicked me out with no warning on changes. Reset the password and now I can't even login.
I wish I was a goddamn designer. Spending hours on a design only to find out it looks like shite. So effing frustrating...6
developer makes a "missed-a-semicolon"-kind of mistake that brings your non-production infrastructure down.
manager goes crazy. rallies the whole team into a meeting to find "whom to hold accountable for this stupid mistake" ( read : whom should I blame? ).
spend 1-hour to investigate the problem. send out another developer to fix the problem.
... continue digging ...
( with every step in the software development lifecycle handbook; the only step missing was to pull the handbook itself out )
finds that the developer followed the development process well ( no hoops jumped ).
the error was missed during the code review because the reviewer didn't actually "review" the code, but reported that they had "reviewed and merged" the code
get asked why we're all spending time trying to fix a problem that occurred in a non-production environment. apparently, now it is about figuring out the root cause so that it doesn't happen in production.
we're ALL now staring at the SAME pull request. now the manager is suddenly more mad because the developer used brackets to indicate the pseudo-path where the change occurred.
"WHY WOULD YOU WASTE 30-SECONDS PUTTING ALL THOSE BRACES? YOU'RE ALREADY ON A BRANCH!"
PS : the reason I didn't quote any of the manager's words until the end was because they were screaming all along, so, I'd have to type in ALL CAPS-case. I'm a CAPS-case-hater by-default ( except for the singular use of "I" ( eye; indicating myself ) )
WTF? I mean, walk your temper off first ( I don't mean literally, right now; for now, consider it a figure of speech. I wish I could ask you to do it literally; but no, I'm not that much of a sadist just yet ). Then come back and decide what you actually want to be pissed about. Then think more; about whether you want to kill everyone else's productivity by rallying the entire team ( OK, I'm exaggerating, it's a small team of 4 people; excluding the manager ) to look at an issue that happened in a non-production environment.
At the end of the week, you're still going to come back and say we're behind schedule because we didn't get any work done.
Well, here's 4 hours of our time consumed away by you.
This manager also has a habit of saying, "getting on X's case". Even if it is a discussion ( and not a debate ). What is that supposed to mean? Did X commit such a grave crime that they need to be condemned to hell?
I miss my old organization where there was a strict no-blame policy. Their strategy was, "OK, we have an issue, let's fix it and move on."
I've gotten involved ( not caused it ) in even bigger issues ( like an almost-data-breach ) and nobody ever pointed a finger at another person.
Even though we all knew who caused the issue. Some even went beyond and defended the person. Like, "Them. No, that's not possible. They won't do such dumb mistakes. They're very thorough with their work."
No one even talked about the person behind their back either ( at least I wasn't involved in any such conversation ). Even later, after the whole issue had settled down. I don't think people brought it up later either ( though it was kind of a hush-hush need-to-know event )
Now I realize the other unsaid-advantage of the no-blame policy. You don't lose 4 hours of your so-called "quarantine productivity". We're already short on productivity. Please don't add anymore. 🙏12
I saw that a co-worker had left their office email open on their machine, so I typed out a huge hate mail of the upper management and then announced resignation for the poor work culture that the company provided. Then I edited the email to be a bit more nice. I added some praise about the company - about having the opportunity to work in the company and for the amazing colleagues (and mentioned my own name) in the first paragraph. To close the email, I wrote :
"PS : This is what happens if you leave your machine open for the office to do as they please"
I first sent out a copy to myself (as proof) with the cover :
" Hey, check this out, I'm sending this out to email@example.com in a while. I want to let you know that none of this is directed at you. You've been an amazing colleague and mentor. You've been my inspiration from the start; from the time I joined the team. I'm honoured that I got to work with you. I hope we can remain friends as we are now, meet up once in a while outside work and discuss life. "
And then I put the actual email up in the compose window with the to field addressed to firstname.lastname@example.org. I didn't hit send.
Funnily, enough, this person never found out that it was me who actually typed out the whole email for another 1.5 months. They probably looked into their Sent folder later on when they saw the email that I sent to myself. They replied to it saying :
"Thank you for not sending out that email that day. I've been very very extra careful (I didn't understand the "very, very, extra" part) since that day"
I replied that it was only to prove a point and that I thought the point was well conveyed.
I had a good laugh that day. Since then, every time we crossed paths, we had that look in our eyes that met and only the 2 of us understood.1
I’m all for writing boolean statements that are readable, quick to grasp the real life case they’re representing and align with the spec rather than being ultra-reduced, but sometimes the spec is written by someone who clearly can’t reduce logic. So when the spec says “if it’s not the case that any of them are false” and you write:
!(!a || !b || !c || !d)
then I think you should try harder. At least put a note against the spec to say “i.e. if they’re all true” and then write the sensible code. Just think of the poor developer that might have to augment your code at a later date and has to follow and intercept that shite.
Big-time Microsoft fan who claims they've been using licensed versions of Windows since Windows 3.0. Still has all old versions of Windows on different machines / hard-disks. They use only Microsoft Surface devices. They still use Nokia Lumia (with Windows Phone 10). They were working with an organization that used Office365 for enterprise email and collaboration. They used Microsoft Teams for team collaboration when the rest of the organization was comfortable with Atlassian tools like jira, confluence and bitbucket.
One fine day, news spreads that the organization is moving into GSuite for enterprise email and collaboration. They are devastated. They quit citing personal and family reasons, but we knew the real reason.16
So in 3D printing community prusa is just the best printer there is for the money. I cant argue with that.
But they are making their own filament. Prusament.
And all my friends with 3D printers are using it and saying how amazing it is and all.
So i bought 3kg of it just it was cheap at the moment. I bought only 1 type which was mistake from my side but oh well. (Galaxy black if you are wondering).
Started printing it. Nothing sticks to bed. Huh weird. Cleaned it. Nothing. Huh. Releveled. Nothing. Well shite this is not good.
By some fucking magic all the prints started sticking after second print. Nothing changed BTW.
It looks amazing when printed i must give it that. But i printed upgrade for my printer and there is a little stress on the part as can be expected. I thighten it and it literally snaps in half on me in the layers. WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
So i did a test. Printed 100% full cylinder. I could snap it in hands and the layer adhesion is basically shit for a PLA.
I tried printing higher temp (I used 215 normally) and still the same issue.
IDK if its just this specific filament type or all the colors are like that (I will buy different type as it still produces amazing prints that look amazing) and i will see if its any better but i had to use creality filament to get parts that actually dont snap in half on me.
I get why my prick friend wanted me to get this app - shit's lit my brothers.
Half mad because of this social-distancing shite, especially when I do go out and get to see Apocolypse Survival Barbie stacking her cart with enough bread and frozen products to feed a legion.6
Open plan office. Distraction hell.
Phones ringing. Endless people walking past. People talking shite nearby. Constant interruption in one form or another.3
My terminal (Tilix) didn't have a header bar for a quite a while now. I had grown to live without it even though I missed looking at the terminal title to figure where I was.
Today I my hand accidentally hit F11 and I was in for a surprise. I actually exclaimed aloud in the office.
I waited to test, confirm and verify that the header bar itself was not a bug before I facepalmed myself1
Apple: "We're justified in taking 30% of all our customer's in-app purchasing revenue because we've implemented an awesome super-secure in-app payment system"
Me, after spending the last week wrestling with Apple's shitty, horrible, unbelievably obtuse, poorly documented system for handling subscription renewals and having to write my own god damn crypto shite for reading receipts: "You're shitting me, right?"
What a complete scam.1
Now this is the real shite! Microsoft's Surface Studio fcking Apple's iMac & Microsoft's Fluent Design fcking Google's Childish Material Design. http://fluent.microsoft.com6
Bought a new tv. Over £1000 which is probably classed as mid range. However it's still a chunk of money.
It's my first experience with android since 2008.
It's still ABSOLUTELY SHITE!!!
Wish I'd gotten another TV now.15
What's the deal with some devs, that genuinely know their stuff and can answer almost everything off the top of their head, yet they seem unable to apply their knowledge when it comes to actually using it.
Kinda like being ace at theory but shite in practice.1
Leave the house for 30 fucking minutes and the courier attempts to deliver my new notebook just then---after four days in transit. And, of course, they don't deliver at the weekend.
I swear the guy was camped outside my house waiting to fuck me over.1
I have multiple (in no particular order) :
Nextcloud : It was an idea that I had in my head as well - to take on corporations like Google in the space of personal cloud. Be free, open-source and put the users in charge.
Gitlab : The most open and transparent company that I've ever come across. And they work 99% remote. They've got features that no other players in the space have. All while putting users in control.
Fediverse social media - Mastodon, GNU Social, Diaspora (soon) : For taking a major step in the direction of putting the users in control of their data; all while enabling a decentralized social network.
Ruby : An open community and building a programming language that runs a lot of software of the world.
Python : The oldest thriving community that has a special place in the development community (and my heart)
#1 Don't go looking to clear your doubts with your mentor. Instead, try and figure everything on your own. Trust me, that'll teach you a lot more than you think rather than by getting the answers directly spoon-fed to you from your mentor.
#2 Always keep a curious mind if you want to achieve something in what you do. You can't learn anything if you don't have the curiosity to ask the right questions - why? (mostly). Especially if you're just starting your career.1
Any sort of video conferencing.
Every time. EVERY TIME. Is always a hassle. It’s always, ALWAYS shite.2
I'm a terminal-guy. I prefer to live inside my terminal. When my family sees me with the green-on-black, they think I'm up to some nasty stuff like hacking / cracking emails, facebook, bank accounts, etc. Only people who understand to look at the terminal realize it's just a few monitors and log tails running. Sometimes, maybe elinks or vi running as well.7
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT
Visual studio shouldn't be allowed to fucking exist in its current form, it takes FOREVER TO FUCKING LOAD unresponsive lagging piece of fucking shit. I'd expect such loading times for a modern AAA game but not a fucking so called functional application, holy fucking shit...
Why must everything be so fucking hard using this thing? I need to change default intellisense settings as not to get in my fucking way while learning, after getting more stressed trying to find out how to edit the settings which are listed under TOOLS, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? It should be under edit not fucking tools, editing settings is not a fucking tool you fucking dense cunts. I spend the next 10 minutes looking for intellisense settings only to find you have options for enabled, disabled and default how the fuck does that help anyone?
Firstly it should have its own fucking section since its such a massive bloaty intrusive feature. I should not have to first click C# and then be presented with limited controls.
FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, ALT + F4 UNINSTALLED THAT PIECE OF FUCKING SHITE , MILTI BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY WANTS FUCKING MONEY FOR THIS PILE OF SHIT.
Go fuck yourselves.11
We support a system we inherited from another company, it’s an online document store for technical specifications of electronic devices used by loads of people.
When we first inherited it we spent the best part of 2 months fixing security vulnerabilities before we were willing to put it near the internet - to this day I remain convinced the only reason it was never hacked is that everything scanning it thought it was a honeypot.
We’ve told the client that this thing needs put out of its misery but they insist on keeping it going. Whenever anything goes wrong it falls to me and it ends up taking me days to work out what’s happening with it. So far the only way I’ve worked out how to debug it is to start doing “Response.AddHeader(‘debug’, ‘<thing>’) on the production site and looking at the header responses in the browser.
I feel dirty doing that but it works so I don’t really care at this point
FUCK I hate this thing!3
Everyobe keeps saying that Eclipse is shite. Okay, it has been in development for a while, and yes, the graphics for it are a bit dated, but what's so bad about it?
The only reason that I use it, is because I am used to all the shortcuts and its structure. But which IDEs would be better for Java than Eclipse? Please comment recommendations and reasons why your IDE is better.11
It's weird that devRant, being a developer-centric platform, doesn't support `preformatted text`.
I just want to put `code` in backticks and stupid code snippets in triple backticks.
I think it's high time we adopted markdown. Can someone please take this issue #27 up from 2017? It's 2020 FFS!
Somebody ranted about his teacher showing windows presentation and teaching nothing. I wanted to comment that post but i have enough material to make the whole rant out of it.
Well at least you have those presentations! In my school we have 2 IT classrooms one with win xp, 1ghz cpu, 0,5gb ram computers and one with win vista, 2 core 2ghz cpu and 2gb of ram PCs.
Guess what room our teacher is using... of course the worse one! The second one is fine, few years ago another theacher had been using it!
I tried to convince him to change rooms but he is coming up with silly exciuses! (like "server is not working here!", well i fixed it with my friend but why are you even talking about it when you are not using yours in old class!)
PS. That server is useless anyway, every pc is connected to router that is connected to internet so supervisor pc is not mandatory, only acces restriction is enforced by win accounts.
I heard from students from my class (that picked that optional IT course) (i'm in high school) that gimp is not working because pc's are so bad!
Sometimes even notepad frezzes.🤔
Not only class is shite but teacher clearly has no idea what is he doing. (in order to pass the final from IT you need to learn simple C++, up to simple foo objects) and of course he isn not even talking about that! On one lesson about sorting algorithms he gave everybody 10 small pieces of paper with numbers on them and told everybody to sort them manualy, because he didnt know how to do it himself! So there is no doubt they wont be able code it.
I need to mention that i volontered to "clean, fix" that classroom (in order to convince teacher to move). And in that class i saw programms written in c++ on every computer! That means somebody was teaching propely before! 😣
I feel sorry for those guys, they are just waisting time. I would fall for it as well but i decided i can learn coding in home ;).
Well, results are shocking, after 1 month of coding i learned C# and i can basicly make any algorithm i ever wish. I learned about computer operation so well that i can nearly teach computer science. (i helped my friend in usa that is a electronic student with that and i'm very proud of it 😁) and it class still can't even use all 3 loops correctly... 😥 Ok i must admit i have been coding for a looooong while so i had time to learn basic c,c++ and pc operations before, but point still stands.
Why the hell are you wasting life of those studends? Why are you giving them a choice to learn coding WHEN YOU CANT EVEN USE PC YOURSELF?! (that it course is optional so you can apply if you want so)
I dont regret not bothering about it.1
A message from my colleague (product name removed):
"I think I hate absolutely everything on this network. I think <insert product name> wouldn't be so bad if the pointy headed wankers hadn't got involved."
"It's the fuckery with https and screwing with certs that make it utterly shite without that, it would merely be irritating."
I used to love mozilla as a community. The mozilla foundation loved the community and always listened to their voice. Of recent, they've started to turn a deaf ear to the community's voices and have started moving the agenda for a corporate culture. They slowly killed many amazing projects that was mostly run by the community (RIP Firefox OS) and started focusing on more corporate-oriented lobbying and agenda (*cough* Pocket *cough*). I feel that the company is slowly moving toward becoming less of a (community-oriented) foundation and more of a corporation. That path is dangerous and not one that I expected mozilla to take.
Another company worth mentioning was OwnCloud which got forked into Nextcloud because they didn't care about the community enough and put the enterprise customers and their needs ahead of the community's. The disappointed founder of the OwnCloud quit and forked it into NextCloud with the right controls for the community and the users to always be put in the first position.19
Visual studio code, I do love you, but your bracket pair highlighting on html inside php files or html inside script tags (eg. Ng-template) is absolute dog shite and makes it impossible to use when you're refactoring markup written by somebody who's never heard of a coding standard or editorconfig.
I know it's probably not an easy thing to sort, some of your dev teams have posted some excellent insights into how it recognises syntax but literally every other editor out there has got this right.1
Every time I see WordPress running on it.
I refer to it as shitepress, because I've never seen so much shite crammed into a single piece of software before
Back in the days when I knew only Windows, I used to be a Microsoft fan. I wanted to use only Microsoft products. I had a Hotmail email account that Microsoft acquired. I used a version of Windows and Microsoft Office (even though I didn't know at the time that it was pirated). I wanted to be a Microsoft Student Partner (MSP) and promote Microsoft everywhere.
Fast forward to now (or maybe to the time after I got introduced to GNU/Linux), I started hating Microsoft solely for the reason that they had a price-tag on everything. Later on, when I got to open-source software, I hated Microsoft for making all of their software closed-source. When I decided to move out of the Microsoft environment, my next favorite was of course, Big Brother (Google, if you haven't gotten it) - Gmail, YouTube, Google Drive. My personal information was the price to pay for the services even though I wasn't OK with that fact.
Then again, I realized that you could actually have your own stuff if you had the know-how. Compile / host your own software on your own systems. Oh, then I went on a compile spree. That's when I realized I didn't need any of these corporations to own my data. Today, I try my best to keep my data in my control and not some corporations who gives me free stuff for the price of my data and personal information, no thanks.4
Doing it manually, is less stressful and much quicker. It cant be that hard to add something to a calendar. You fucking worthless piece of shit Siri.2
Ive got this colleague who knows so much about cloud services, networking etcetera, but 90% of the code he writes I have to rewrite in a way.
So many typos that classnames become unreadable and not understandable.
Small pieces of code that breaks so many other pieces of code.
And code which isnnt needed because it doesnt do shite. "o = (o==null?null: o)" (this is the exact thing he wrote (spacing included))
Sometimes it takes me 6 hours to find the source of an issue because he changed something. Everything I change I confront him about because they are things that can be avoided by rereading the code written.
Fucking doesnt wanna learn....4
Not really coding, but debugging complex problems. I love it when I have to dive in head-first and dig (very) deep to find answers to super-complex problems. I once went into the internals of a programming language to understand why a library was acting up in a particular scenario. Another time I had to optimize and re-compile from source (after modifying it) so that the application would not leak its memory. (Of course, I contributed it back to the language).
The inner satisfaction that you get after all that hard-work when it finally works, pays off! Bliss!1
HackerEarth once got hacked or had some other issues idk.
I was solving this hiring challenge. Suddenly when I opened some page, I got logged into someone else's account. I could see all the details of that guy. This happened for couple of times. I was getting randomly logged into someone else's account just by switching the pages.
I got annoyed and stopped the contest. Later, some random guy called me and claimed to be the hacker and he has my details and started reading them to me.
Ok, I knew something was wrong with the site and the details he was reading were basic details which are shown before starting the contest.
Still, I quickly removed my resume from their shite website and uploaded a dummy doc file.
All in all I fucking felt like I should have cut that guy's throat when he was reading my details to me as if he has something on me. I fucking hate such people. If I find this guy ever, I won't mind kicking his ass to death.
And for the hackerearth, you fucking bitches rot in hell with your shit website. I even filled a feedback form putting this guy's phone number and narrating the story to you. I even sent a mail to you. You fuckers care very less to even respond. Assholes!!!
And all those useless companies use hackerearth for the contests. Fucking get a life! Use hackerrank for once.1
It must be good to at least know computer networking?! I remember nothing about these TCP, UDP, whatever the fudge protocol shite. I don't remember these megabit and megabyte things. All I do is code from one end to another. Anyone else watched Eli The Computer Guy's series?2
At my previous company, we used tools from all over the place. We switched between tools at will. Sometimes, some team would decide to use some tool while the rest of the company would use something else. The worst part was that there was no Single-Sign-On (SSO) either. Everyone would need to have an account on all of these said tools. It was chaos.
I realized that being integrated into one environment (even though would have the cost of a vendor-lock-in) was the best option to have because in that case, we wouldn't have to deal with operational hurdles like having integration from one tool to another. They would just come baked-in with the whole environment. That's how GSuite (formerly Google Apps for Work), Atlassian and other players succeeded - they gave a complete suite of services / software that integrated well with each other. You could jump back and forth between services without having to bother about integration with other tools. They'd all be there wherever you wanted them to be. Even cloud providers so that opportunity and built on it - Amazon Web Services (AWS), Google Cloud Platform (GCP), Kubernetes (in itself).
Another example is a company that used Jira, Confluence and Hipchat but for some dumb reason used Gerrit for their code review / hosting. Eventually, they realized that managing the integration with the Atlassian tools was far more expensive than getting bitbucket and migrating completely into the Atlassian environment.
It's always the integration that matters. Everything else is secondary.
While teaching theory is actually good, it doesn't mean that there is no room for any practical education either. Students needs to be exposed to modern programming languages like Python, Ruby while at the same time be trained in the pioneers of programming like C, C++, Java. It is only then would they be able to make informed decisions on who they really want to be. If you had one practical lab session on C and Java and then the rest of the semester about HTML, students would end up moving away from programming.
Concepts like programming and networking concepts should be included whereas ancient technologies like programming micro-processors (x386, x486, etc) should be excluded. Who programs x386 and x486 micro-processors anymore? While the understanding of how micro-processors and other low-level components in the computer systems work is very essential, doing practicals on them isn't really a good use of students' time, energy or effort.
Somebody needs to look at the whole user admin side of all of google products from a users perspective. Then realise what a disjointed dysfunctional, horrible, confusing, pile of shit it all is. I would say the same for zoho, another example of how to put as many obstacles in the way of doing straight forward tasks.3
I found out that apache had built-in support ( via a module - mod_md ) for automatic TLS certificate management with Let's Encrypt since October 2017.
Bloody Hell! Why didn't I hear of this sooner?
So, I ran off into my cloud to set up this so-called ManagedDomain ( mod_md ).
Found the module in the package repositories, installed it and started testing it out.
I started writing IfModule conditions under mod_ssl so that I wouldn't have to overwrite my existing TLS configurations ( which was already issued by Let's Encrypt via certbot, by the way ).
After a whole night of twisting and turning with the configurations, it turns out that the module in the package repositories were built for ACMEv1 and that API has been dead for as long as the module has been around.
I had noticed that the module was 'experimental', but I still hoped that they had the packaged the module.
Finally, I cozied back up with certbot. At least, until this so-called mod_md becomes stable and mainstream.
I hope certbot doesn't make a fuss. I'm sure, it got offended that I was trying to cheat it with mod_md.4
A developer couldn't get a application performance monitoring (APM) tool to trace his application. They claimed that their libraries and their configurations were alright and that the APM tool was non-performant.
The developer then argues with sysadmin that the APM tool can't trace the application and that there's nothing wrong with the application or the configurations. When sysadmin questions whether the developer got the tool to work anywhere, they say, "No" and head off to make it work at least in one place. They come back saying that it works on their development environment (which is their local machine). Sysadmin claims that the system configurations on the server instances cannot be matched by the development environment and there could be a lot more factors to be considered for the problem. The sysadmin asks to prove it on a server instance on one of the test environments and then they'd agree that it is a problem with the tool. They also argue that this is not the only application that uses the APM tool and the tool happily traces other applications with no issues.
The developer tries the same configuration on a staging instance and fails. In order to make it work, they silently uninstall the existing version of the APM tool and then compiles an unstable branch of the tool. It finally works with this version.
They go back to the sysadmin and show that it works on the staging environment, but does not on production. After banging their head on the wall for a while, the sysadmin figure that the tool had been swapped out for the unstable branch that was manually compiled. When questioned, the developer responds, "It works with this version on staging, so deploy the same version on production"
WTF? You don't deploy an unstable branch to production. Just because you can't make it work on the stable branch doesn't mean that it is the problem with the tool itself. There's a big difference between a stable branch and a non-stable branch. How would you feel if the sysadmin retorted by asking you to deploy the staging branch of your application to production?
To have a professional job that lets you work remotely from the comfort of your home in your own office; which pays you well enough but doesn't pressurize you into unachievable deadlines. One that gives you ample time to relax and do some part-time projects for yourself. One that lets you spend time and contribute to the communities you're part of and help you grow both professionally and within the community.
Oh, and best of all, work in the open - open source, open culture and transparency.
junior developer raises an issue saying that there's an application deployment error on one of their dev clusters.
sysadmin asks them to go back and look at the error logs and come back with the problem.
they come back saying, "No space left on device"
sysadmin takes a look at server. finds this :5
Going to register a company soon. Wonder if Shite Tech is available? Maybe Broken Technolgies.. suggestions?7
Production goes down because there's a memory leak due to scale.
When you say it in one sentence, it sounds too easy. Being developers we know how it all goes. It starts with an alert ping, then one server instance goes down, then the next. First you start debugging from your code, then the application servers, then the web servers and by that time, you're already on the tips of your toes. Then you realize that the application and application servers have been gradually losing memory over a period of time. If the application is one that don't get re-deployed ever so often, the complexity grows faster. No anomaly / change detection monitor can detect a gradual decrease of memory over a period of months.2
Gonna rant about graphic design 'cos it's where I started this journey.
The hardest people to design for are creative people, photographers, musicians, artists etc.. because they think graphic design is just a small extension to their existing skills. Please Fuck Off! Also same goes for developers, graphic design is a discipline you have to study and takes years to perfect the art. I find it examples of non designed 'design' every day and it sickens me. Just look around at all the shite van livery, bad logos, shit menus, fucking junk mail etc... sometimes it can be torture....
But I don't think coding is easy, I respect the art and learn constantly, it amazes me how typing some shit can make awesome things happen. Devs rock!1
The Amazon MWS API is so utterly shite! Offers error messages sometimes then others tells you to upload your file to their file checker. Their file checker doesn’t accept XML so why say that?
Who on earth develops and documents their shit APIs?
Fuck you Amazon
Is 'Ikea Programming' a thing?
If it isn't yet, we should make it a thing - for those people who call themselves "programmers" after copy-pasting a few lines of code from stack-overflow ( or elsewhere ) and gets it working.
And then claims, "It works right? Don't touch it."
I'm going to start using it already.
( but it wouldn't be any fun to call someone names over video conferencing. that's the fun of going to an 'office'. I guess I'm missing it now. )
PS : the long conversation screenshot is only for context, but the highlighted part should be sufficient to get what I'm talking about.4
So. Many. Irrelevant. Emails.
It's getting to the point where I'm considering running a course for recruiters called "how not to annoy the fucking shite out of the people you're trying to hire / not be be reported as spam".
In my university days, when I used to spend time elsewhere than curriculum classes : "You're not getting anywhere if you don't get a degree in whatever you want to work with in your life."
Today I earn more than all the cousins of my age combined. No more rants from anyone, anymore.
I might not have a professional degree, but my family still sees me as a responsible person.
I don't want to start a war here, but I love the power of vim.
I prefer vim.tiny because I can find it on practically any UNIX-based machine - out of the box. Copy over my .exrc and I'm already rolling.6
Now that this drama shite is calming down, here's my tuppence on how connections management should be implemented.
We really need something that is in between blocking and doing nothing. This, in my opinion, is temporary silencing. Having the ability to mute a person or rant, or notifications altogether, for a set period of time would be very useful when a situation needs de-escalating. As this social network (let's not beat around the bush, this is a social network) grows in size, this will be a handy tool for calming storms without burning bridges permanently.
To sum up, I think it would be a good idea to have three available options for notification muting:
- mute notifications/this person/rant for 24 hours
- mute notifications/this person/rant for 7 days
- mute this person/rant forever
As for implementation, I'd wrap up the call to the user's notification assembly like so:
And use a date field in the DB to handle timescales.
Also, I suggest the addition of this tag specifically for suggestions, just so we're not all using different tags
FUCK GOOGLE'S INSTANT APPS.
I know google is bad in general, but fuck Instant Apps in particular!
Doesn't matter if you've disabled them from every account you have, they will still update and install themselves no matter what! Doesn't matter if you're on wifi or on a mobile connection using data either!
What's even worse is that there is no trace given of these update - just a temporary notification while it's downloading and installing the update, then it's gone! Blink and you'll miss it.
Can't even get rid of this shite, because I have a few accounts tied to a project that are entirely based on google services :(
( PS : This is my first rant and I like the Weekly Group Rant. I'm starting all the way from the beginning of history )8
You know when you have one of those days where you're really tired and just don't really want much bullshit, and because of that you get an unexpected token space? Well I do2
I started reading this rant ( https://devrant.com/rants/2449971/... ) by @ddit because when I started reading it I could relate to it, but the further he explained, the lesser relatable it got.
( I started typing this as a comment and now I'm posting this as a rant because I have a very big opinion that wouldn't fit into the character limit for a comment )
I've been thinking about the same problem myself recently but I have very different opinion from yours.
I'm a hard-core linux fan boy - GUI or no GUI ( my opinion might be biased to some extent ). Windows is just shit! It's useless for anything. It's for n00bs. And it's only recently that it even started getting close to power usage.
Windows is good at gaming only because it was the first platform to support gaming outside of video game consoles. Just like it got all of the share of 'computer' viruses ( seesh, you have to be explicit about viruses these days ) because it was the most widely used OS. I think if MacOS invested enough in it, it could easily outperform Windows in terms of gaming performance. They've got both the hardware and the software under their control. It's just that they prefer to focus on 'professionals' rather than gamers.
I agree that the linux GUI world is not that great ( but I think it's slowly getting better ). The non-GUI world compensates for that limitation.
I've been thinking of getting a Mac to do all the basic things that you'd want to do on the internet.
My list :
linux - everything ( hacking power user style )
macOS - normal use ( browsing, streaming, social media, etc )
windows - none actually, but I'll give in for gaming because most games are only supported on Windows.
Phew, I needed another 750-1500 characters to finish my reply.16
So I am redeveloping a website I made for work when I first started all this a year and a half ago. Part of the project was integrating with a marketing automation suite through an OAuth2 authenticated API - compounded by the fact that no one has heard of the thing, so there aren't plugins (wordpress last time, Drupal this time) or the ones that are there are woefully out of date/have no functionality.
Anyway, I've been dreading doing it. Last time it took me over a week (maybe two), and the solution was a total cludge fest - I had to do a load of stuff manually and it constantly broke anyway.
This time? Took me half a day, maybe less. All the user has to do is click a button and give the webpage permission in the automation suite (as you'd expect) and everything else is automated. It doesn't break, it doesn't fall over and it works very nicely.
It's the first time, apples to apples, I can see how far I have come, and I love it.
Now if only the API itself i am connecting to wasn't shite!2
This poster is shite quality but I've transcribed the gold found on it:
The Technical Support Specialist:
- SEND US AN URGENT EMAIL IN UPPERCASE. We'll flag it as a rush job. Really.
- Loves it when a user calls screaming "the internet is broken".
- Gonna snap the next time a user asks why they don't have permission to install a George Michael screensaver.
- Last vacation: catching the first rays of sun from the back booth in Tim Hortons. Sweeeeeet!
- Most dreaded words: "I don't know what happened, I only opened the attachment".
- Has memorized over 100 access codes, but can't remember what day it is.
- Is amazed a user can have five chatrooms and three celebrity sites opened at once - but reading an I.T. support e-mail sent with high importance - now that's a complicated request.
- When you call with a tech support problem and say you'll be back in 5 - I'll say "Great!" And try not to snicker.
- System crashed last Thursday. Haven't seen my wife and kids since.2
#1 clean up the internet of domains, use those beautiful and fancy TLDs - blog, photography, gallery, cloud, house, gov, xxx
#2 more fanatical - clean the internet of cat / dog / [supposedly cute animal] pictures, and later - npm packages1
So I have purchased the domain studioentropy.com. It's taken me all afternoon but I've set up and configured aws s3 buckets and route 53 zone an entries and my shite asse site is now online, hooray... My question is with regards to https. Given that ny site is really only going to be a single page site with relatively static content, no eccomerce of any kind, no passing of sensative information is required, is it really worth going through the pain of configuring cloudfront so the site uses https instead of http?13
So since I don't use VLC and I'm pretty annoyed by the fact that it needed to remind me it exists, I decided to purge it.Then not 5 minutes later I realize that, oh fuck, Konsole is missing. In those 5 minutes I had also installed Steam and thought that was what fucked it all up, then I reinstalled Konsole and somehow VLC was back.
Then I tried to just apt remove VLC instead and boom, Konsole was gone
So, sorry, but are you fucking kidding me!?3
Explain why a feature or request is a shite idea to your manager but don't accept 'well that's what the client wants' as an answer. Insist the useless manager twat should earn his money and not ruin the project.
Oh, I've pulled a lot of all-nighters. I love doing hackathons. I find myself most productive when I work on something in a single stretch. I have ADD that way. If I leave a project mid-way, that's probably the last time I'll be working on it; unless someone comes to me and reminds me about it.
Other than attending organized hackathons, I go on personal hackathons. When I'm in the mood to code something up in my free time, I just find some stupid, random idea to code and code it up overnight. (Oh, I have a very long list of projects that I can complete over the weekend)
Other times, I'll just be in the mood as I'm working on something and then lose track of time (and other bodily calls like hunger) as I finish it.
If my weekend looks very peaceful without any distractions, I put my hand in my project bowl and pull something up to finish it off over the weekend.1
My favourite browser has gone shite. Safari don't take the place left over by IE. Vivaldi is not stable enough yet. Firefox is way too slow. Chrome, well that's Google.2
I usually sit amongst the summer placements in the office, but now that they're gone I'm so bored! I should move seats but don't want to end up regretting it, I like having people around me to talk shite with.
Are there any custom ROMs I can install on mx LG g-flex 2? It's getting real slow and the battery is shite and I'm sick (and stuck) of this LG skinned android.2
For me it's about removing grey from my life. I make decisions about things and move on. It's either black or white, there's no grey, true or false. It can be a little odd for new friends. For example, a trak comes on the radio, someone asks me do you like this, well I have to really like it in which case it's brilliant or no it's shite. Why would i say it's ok as its so vague and doesnt reveal my true feelings about stuff. Sorry i am waffling on about bullshit, just waiting for the chemist to open in the pissing down rain.
When you stare at the task list and all you see is blockers cause your clients can't get their shite together.
... Fuck it , time to learn something. And charge some one to do it.1
To not be too emotionally attached to stuff. At the end of the day, all good things come to an end. Also, not to be 100% loyal. That could squeeze more effort out of you at the cost of your efficiency. Have a life, live it.
What's the hype about the Fortnite game? I'm still not impressed with the game on its own, and yet everyone seems to be enjoying the shite out of it3
Team Lead (not my team, thankfully) sends outs a team-wide message (in their exact words):
"please DM me with the task link if you are adding any new tasks in Jira. This is to make sure that i am aware of any ad-hoc task coming up in the jira queue and also to make sure that all the task are following a common template."
Interpretation : "I'm just too lazy to look at each jira issue after the last one that I followed up on (which is my job BTW). So I'll add some extra work for you to explain everything to me on DM"
Way to go for killing productivity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thankfully, this is not my team. If they were my team lead, I'd be super furious. I'd even report it to upper management. I'd even offer to do their job and let them do mine. I think their job just got so easy if everyone was to go report to him like that.3
So we are crashing when uncompressing the fucking kernel by the looks of it.
2 solutions to this it seems. Either you fix it somehow which i dont have time to do and well I dont want to port U-boot totally.
Second one is well kinda crazy but normal.
If it crashes in uncompressing the fucking kernel then well dont compress it at all.
So i grab the uncomp image.
12.3MB Well shite.
I pack it in boot.img and its 14.9MB and partition is 16MB. Well this is close AF.
Anyways. I flash it. Boot it and no UART as expected. I expected data abort tho. Nothing like that tho. :O
So now either this shit isnt loading at all. Or i just dont have UART.
Sadly i have no way of testing that. So either i can make UART work and then i will know that yes it works or well IDK.
Un Fucking Believable
The Smell of Shite floating around my office is crazy,
Suppose the smell compliments the state of this Stupid Fucking Place,
- Dictate the user experience of the product
- Get it built automatically by IDE - backend, frontend, whatever, everything.
- Customizability options - make changes to UI, backend structures, database schemas and models
- all of this by just talking in normal human language.
How do you transfer text from one machine ( laptop ) to another ( phone ) with no common tools ( Firefox Send spat out a long string of characters that I had no way of transferring either ) on either? Basically a clipboard sync.
There used to be this online notepad at notepad.cc, but that tool is gone away now.
How do you do it hacker-style? `wall`!
- SSH into the same same server from both machines ( this also assumes you have Termux or some equivalent tool for your phone )
- use `wall` to broadcast message from source
- copy broadcast at destination
Colleague put this up on their team's channel today :
" I'll be working from home today, ad hoc task is in review, will be opening a PR for backend changes [ ... ], yesterday was mainly spent on setting up gcp on my local and fixes towards gcp deployment. "
Wait, what? did you just set up the entire GCP on your local [machine]? I wouldn't mind giving you a whole week off if you needed it; if I were your manager.3
Hello to everybody. I used to be on this site like every day. I rejoined data lounge after accepting that everybody there gets their arses flamed and it's like initiation. But they're still mean.
I hope we are collectively not losing our fucking minds with this shite virus. I am uneasy. Something's not adding up.
I haven't felt this way for over 50 years, and that was during America's pig headed remaining in Vietnam rather than pulling out and letting Red China just fucking eat North Vietnam as a snack.
I've never had a sense that I don't know where things are going. And that those who should be able to tell us something are fucked up firecrackers with wet diapers.
Whilst I've never been overly fond of humans to begin with, I can only wait and see how long it takes for reason to prevail.
Anybody here involved with SIMS online services for schools (UK) I think it’s done by Capita. Because it is the biggest pile of shite I have seen (as a parent from UX UI perspective). I would gladly visit your establishment with an axe and ensure you would never do anything so bad again.5
WordPress and it's fucking buggy themes and dashboard, fml ,only God knows why on earth I decided to use this pile of shite wordpress.if I could I would have migrated to another CMs I would have done so long time ago.Wordpress,you are wasting my life away having to manage a website with your buggy shit.6
Oh, there are hundreds that I've started categorizing them. They outgrew the storage capacity of my head / brain. I've tried a lot of productivity tools to organize them, but in the end, all my project ideas just remain ideas scattered somewhere unless I see it action and go like, "Hey, I had that same idea. I wonder when they got the idea. Was it before or after I had it?" In the end, I just console myself saying that for me it was only an idea in my head when those people saw it through execution and has a working product. The next step for me is to get along with them and collaborate and make that idea better rather than re-invent the same wheel again according to my idea.
Nextcloud is the biggest example of an idea that came to me and remained in my head and is still on a todo list somewhere.
People around you (especially non-engineers) coming over just to know whether you saw their instant message ping / email to send them a value of a configuration. Or others who just comes in at the right time - when you just got into your utopian magical zone - "just to say hi and catch up". There goes the rest of my day.
Complement that to the instant messaging application of choice of the organization and it's a no-no for productivity. I find myself being invited to random channels only because they want to mention that I did something. I set myself to Away whenever I'm in the mood, but that still doesn't stop people from pinging and sending me notifications anyway.1
Is it my crappy connection or the git bash for windows is just shite? It's taking forever to clone onto a repo using ssh.8
F U C K
Recently in our school our final year class choice forms are starting to be handed out. 5 lists, you pick one subject from each.
Now, I really wanted Advanced higher computing, to the point where I nearly begged on the survey choice forms. There's two of us that really want it. What happens? IT'S NOT ON THE FINAL FORM.
The only two subjects I could get was engineering and maths. Three of my other lists are completely to say politely, fucking shite.
It is incomprehensible to me
why fucking piece shite visual studio not supporting horizontally scroll and multi cursor
(its have a very very simple multi cursor, if press alt and click and move mouse but its suck because, a online editor very better than this piece shite )
3 days when I had to complete documentation for an audit. I only returned to my room to shower and change clothes for the next day. That too I left at 8AM and returned at 09:30AM.
2 days when I had to complete setting up the office network over the weekend. Note that this was over a weekend.
And this is without counting the many hours I've spent semi-working at hackathons. I've gone up to 60 hours without sleep, coding the shit out of my brains.2
I finally got around to setting up my own cloud with nextcloud on my own dedicated server.
Just setting up Nextcloud alone was not really the challenge ( I've set up at least 2 Nextcloud instances in the past ).
The actual challenge was to install /e/ OS on my mobile phone and get it to work with my Nextcloud instance.
It's not all performant, buttery-smooth or super-fast yet, but for a one-person / user-cloud, I think it should be just fine.
There's still room for improvement in terms of server-side performance, but it's working fine with the basics at least.
I need to figure / iron out some issues like social federation via ActivityPub not working, Nextcloud SMS not syncing up my SMS, Mail app crashing because I used a self-hosted Nextcloud instance, etc; but those are things I could work on slowly, in the course of time.
No, the server is not physically controlled by me, yet ( it's a dedicated box server though. Still, hosted and physically controlled by a provider ).
I intend on setting up another 'replica' on a RaspberryPi which I will then make primary, connecting to the internet via DynamicDNS.
I'll probably keep the server as a fallback / backup server just in case my home server loses connectivity.
Taking back control from Big Tech is something I intend on pursuing actively this year. I've had the idea in my head for too long that it has started to fester.
This is only a first step, of many, that needs to follow, in order for me to take control back from Big Tech.
Yes, there still is some room for improvement, but I think for now ‒
When the client amends the content and removes critical items to be surfaced via the API just because. Fuck it I hate working with immature API's, guess fraud data till they fix it I hate doing shite twice.