Me: how's your password security?

Them: of course we value security very highly, our passwords are all hashed before being stored.

Me: what hashing algorithm?

Them: oh we hash it with sha and then place that in a table indexed by the password.

Indexed. By. The fucking. Password.

Mayday! Mayday!
Fire on Board!
😱😱😱😱

Me : So how's the deadlines here?
Coworker : There are none.
Me : ?
Coworker : if they are unrealistic, we push non-working code. Prod comes up with bugs, and we get a new sprint to resolve those bugs.
Me: ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯

Perfect meme

In the Year 3018,

"Can we all stop existing? It offends me."

Things you shouldn’t be:

1. Racist
2. That guy that interrupts the person next to him while he is trying to write code every 2 fucking minutes and asks dumb and meaningless questions

Those are actually real suggestions. I'm not even mad, that's amazing.

I like this kind of job...

Ctrl+X and Y

Shit... I just got my phone stolen. Realized it 40 seconds post factum [left it at the shop counter and someone took it].
20 minutes later called the police [cuz I had to get home and use wife's phone].
5 min later poluce arrived
10 min later they got all they could from shop's security officer.
Police officer asks me to login my samsung acc on his phone. 2 minutes later we are on the way to the exact location my phone is at.
15 minutes later officer hands me my samsung 😁

got my phone back in less than an hour after theft.

maybe... Ummm... Maybe all this tracking thing is not that bad...?

*youtube how to use X in Y*

*please dont be an indian please dont be an indian please dont be an indian*

hlo frnds tday ím gna shw u...

FUCK

Experienced Programmers 😂

Haha! Command lines :-P

In 2025, JS-frameworks will outnumber humans.

I bought a System76 laptop. They're headquartered in the same city where I live. In the "special instructions" section of the checkout process, I put, "I'm buying this because Apple took away my escape key."

This note came today.

I don't even know if this should be a rant or a good thing, but here it goes:

my boss smokes (legal) weed in the office, under the AC, so the smoke goes up and it spreads all over the place => we all get a bit stoned

Do you want this 14 day ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY **FREE** TRIAL course?? just enter your credit card information below!

Just found out why people don't use windows. It's because they think it does not work.

In my school we have apple TV's in every room and we use airplay to cast to the projector. And because apple are fucktards and hate cross platform anything they make it impossible for windows machines to connects reliabily. So now if a teacher has a windows computer they can't connect so they think it's windows fault but it is actually fucking apple. This is what pisses me off about apple so much.

People index their .env files on search engines LMAO

Client(over the phone):- I want an Android app where there job seekers and recruiters.

Me:- sounds reasonable enough, ok

Client:-i want job seekers to apply for the job and recruiters to post the job.

Me(gets a bad feeling);- doable ok.

Client:- and I want an admin user who can see all the users and do everything.

Me(yup there it is):- what do you mean by everything?

Client :- you know everything, talk to recruiters talk to see everyone using the app, you know everything.

Me :- no I don't know this "everything" that you speak of, tell me more, what screens (activity) should that have and stuff.

Client (getting irritated):- everything the admin user usually does.

Me(yare yare daze):- i will show number of users in a graph.

I have a feeling this is not over yet

Every. Single. Time.

Especially when you are playing League Of Legend ore finishing the code...😡😡😡

Was thinking of a name for my currently biggest project and thought of a funny one, took the first letter of each word and started to use that to refer to the project, was thinking about domain names and such already etc.

Just wrote it down and I suddenly noticed:

ONE OF THE LETTERS IN THE SHORTCUT ISN'T CORRECT.

How the fuck did I miss that for fucking weeks?! It's not like it's a difficult sentence/set of words or anything.

I'm so fucking glad I didn't register domains or shit yet.

How. In. The. Living. Hell.

I am not a shy person, but I still like to keep to myself, I am just not that into socialization.

Everywhere I've worked I've only made friends with those that sat very close to me, like in the neighboring cubicles or whatever, even if I didn't have any project in common with them, but my relationship with those that were working on the same project as me was strictly professional.

Recently, my employer installed a rec-room with table tennis, foosball and pool table etc. And ever since then the whole office's morale has sky rocketed, especially mine. Now, I almost always spend at least 2-3 hours down there daily playing those games and I have gotten to know and have made friends with a lot of my co-workers, something that I wouldn't have done ordinarily ever.

Now my point here is that, I've always found socialization to be a bit out of my comfort zone, I always thought it to be a bit bothersome, but it would seem that all I really needed was the right environment, it is very hard to get to know others around you in a strictly professional environment, so having dedicated places in your office for things like group activities that can help relieve stress and allow people to get to know each other better outside the work environment can be extremely helpful.

Woodworking is like 3D-Printing, just cooler. Printed a bottle opener today.

      

!rant

If the detective Pokémon movie doesn't have team rocket I'm gonna revolt!

So wife just sent me this.

Never Smoked Cigarette.
Never Smoked Pot.
Never Did Joint
Still got hospitlised for "Breathing And Respiratory diseases".

Is it just me or Social media has made everyone philosophers automatically.

Like pretty dumb and hopeless folks you know in real life be posting some smart and motivational shit they copied off of some random site.

Dude get your dumbass off my screen mehn...coming around here giving advice on how to make my life better...have you seen your life lately?

It can't be just me...