When pm says jump!
You ask,
From which floor?

At my study's final exams, I coded a system with login and everything included.

Showed it at the final delivery:
Fake client: awesome! So how do I logout?
Me: 😐
Me: 😶
Me: 😁
Me: 😓
Me: 😭

Yeah, you couldn't logout.

android devs starter pack

Memoryleak debugging

It's 2016, I'm still writing commit messages like,

Anyone who has spent time in this field can relate.

Back in 2011 when I was 14, I created a cmd shortcut on all pc in my school's computer lab. Replaced the icon and renamed it to Internet Explorer. Deleted the original IE shortcut and a week later the lab got closed because they all the computers got infected with a "virus"

i know im lame kill me

And it's gone

Ah yes, the beautiful country of {short_name}

Go Home, You're Drunk.

I'm too tired after programming, I need to relax.
...
I'm too bored, need to program.

So I was looking at the linux environment at my new job. Found 2 VM's in the local network, only one of them is documented. Noone knows about the other one or what it does, let alone usernames and passwords.

Spent over an hour trying to break in, only to find out that a couple of bored devs, that have long since left the company, set up a game server on there and noone noticed it for the past 3 years..

Reading through legacy code, only to discover the comment:

/*
* to the poor guy who has to fix this
* ...
* I'm sorry
*/

that moment when you are busy

When error messages have self-awareness and fix problems by themselve the world will burn but I have less issues to care about.

When your code compiles without errors

Happens all the time.

I feel kinda sad for @dfox cause he can't rant about his stupid users here

Not a rant but gave me a good laugh

Well done

Nice face recognition

When you have some problems with C++
credits: codechef

Thanks phone...

The alarming rate of false news these days...

Sometimes Windows be like..

Client: we want X.
Dev: Quote for X.
Client: We only want to pay x.
Dev: Requote for x.
Client: approved x.
Dev: Deliver x.
Client: where is X we asked for X.

... perspective of project scope matters.

I'm starting to hate js. Every library needs atleast 1000 other libs. I just blew the node_modules folder to 100mb with just one npm require

Last night I had a dream about a bug and I woke up with a solution. When I got to the office and tried it out it worked...I have heard about this happening before but this is the first time I have experienced it!

Writing some code on a flight

"ARE YOU HACKING?!?!"
"Ugh... Well yeah but not in the way you're thinking"
"Omg I'm getting a flight attendant"

Needless to say I'm still en route because the flight attendant realized that I'm not Mr Robot, nor do I have ZeroCool scribbled on my laptop anywhere.

Wizard