They call me 007 at work....

0 motivation
0 skills
7 coffee breaks

🤓😎 enjoy your weekend!

We were doing some temp work, and a girl we were working with had gone out to talk to her boyfriend on the phone.

1. Flip screen orientation 180 degress
2. Take screenshot
3. Set that as wallpaper and flip back
4. Hide icons, hide taskbar, move taskbar to far right edge
5. Invert mouse movement
6. Invert mouse buttons
7. Flip back 180 degrees, everything looks normal.

Sit back, relax and watch the show.

P.S. she gave up, we had to fix it.

*my favorite time of the day - going and coming back from office"

Here's the view

If you are stuck at 5 PM, you won't fix it "in 20 minutes". You will rather spend 2 hours trying to fix it and still be stuck. Go home, relax a little. The next day in the morning you will be unstuck!

I'm too tired after programming, I need to relax.
...
I'm too bored, need to program.

Coming home after school , just to relax and play pinball on the PC ...windows 98 ..good times ..the quest of being Fleet admiral and avoiding the "Tilt"

"Today I won't code, I'll just play some games or watch TV and relax!"

"Hmmm... I'll just fix this one small thing here... shouldn't take long. And then its time for some gaming!"

* 3 hours later *

Still coding, wtf is wrong with me

My worst dev sin is not throwing people under the bus, even when they deserve it.

Literally or metaphorically? I'll leave that up to the imagination.

------

I believe my second-worst sin is my tendency towards perfectionism. It's hard to finish projects quickly if everything has to be nearly perfect. I still make deadlines, but this is due to overworking, thus leading to burnout.

I could relax more if only I sacrificed my principles...

So I own a webshop together with a guy I met at one of my previous contract jobs. He said he had a great idea to sell product X because he can get them very cheap from another European country. Actually it is a great idea so we decided to work together on this: I do everything tech related, he does the non tech stuff.

Now we are more than 1 year in business. I setup a VPS, completely configured it, installed and setup the complete webshop, built 2 custom PrestaShop modules, built many customizations, built a completely new order proces (both front and back end), advertised quite some products, did some link building, ensured everything is in place to do proper SEO, wrote some content pages, did administration and tax declarations, rewrote a part of a PrestaShop component because it was so damn inefficient and horribly slow, and then some more. Much more.

He did customer relation management, supplier management and some ad words campaigns. Promised me many times to write the content for our product pages. This guy has an education in marketing but literally said: I'm not gonna invest in creating some marketing plan. I have no ambition in online marketing.

What?! You have the marketing knowledge and skills but refuse to use it to market our webshop and business? What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Today he says to me: 'Hey man, this is becoming an expensive hobby as we don't sell much and have lots of costs. I don't understand why I should be the one to write these content pages. Everything you did in the past 8 months can be done in less than 20 hours! You are a joke and just made it a big deal by spreading your work over so many months. I know for sure because I currently work at a company where I'm surrounded by front end devs! Are you fucking crazy?! You're a liar.'

He talks like this to me every 2 months or so while he can't even deliver the content for 1 single product in 6 fuckin' months! We even had to refund a few of our customers because Mr. client relations manager didn't respond to their e-mails within 1 fucking week!! So I asked him how could that have happened as you do the client relations and support. Well, he replied to me: 'Why didn't YOU respond to our clients? You don't log on in our back office at least once a day?!'.

Of course I do asshole. But YOU don't. He replied that I was lying just like I was lying about what I did for our business.

So, asshole, let's have a look at PrestaShops logs to see who's logging in daily. Well, you can probably guess who's IP was there in most of the entries. It wasn't his.

So, what the fuck have you been doing then?! You can't even manage to respond quickly to a client?!! We have maybe 50 clients and if we get 1 question a month by email it is already a lot. But you keep bitching, complaining and insulting me instead?!!!

Last time he literally admitted on a WhatsApp conversation that he had and still has the hope that he could just sit back and relax and watch me do ALL the work.

Well, guess what you fucking moron. That's not what we agreed upon. You fuckin' retard think you're so smart but you say EVERYTHING on WhatsApp! Including your promises to me. Thank you you fuckin' piece of dog shit because now I have hard evidence and will hand it over to my lawyer to make you pay every god damn cent for all the hours I've spent working on our business. Oh, and I'll take over the webshop and make it a success on my own because I know damn well how to get relevant traffic and thus customers.

You just go get yourself fucked in the ass without lubricant you fuckin' asshole. I have told you you shouldn't fuck with me because I take business very seriously. I even warned you when you were crossing a line again. Well, if you don't listen... You will pay for the consequences. I will be so damn happy to tell you 'I told you so' with a very very big smile on my face. That momemt WILL come, 'partner'.

Fuck you. You will be fucked. Count on that. Fucking asshole.

So after I spent around 1 hour 35 minutes debugging a client's problem to end up with finding out he had no actual internet without him saying so I think I can finally catch a break and relax..

NOPE

I get an urgent call that a computer that needed tending to was down and needed to be up by tonight

I rush to the office of the said computer only to find the one of the worst things imaginable.

I can see the computer clearly shorted and lo and behold, the CD tray is out with a MUG.. yes you heard that right.. A MUG FULL OF TEA sitting on it..

I literally scream at the employee asking him what a mug was doing there and instead he calls ME DUMB saying that if it wasn't intended as a cup holder what was its use?

SERIOUSLY?! ITS 2017 HOW CAN PEOPLE NOT GRASP SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS THIS

I really fucking need to learn to relax/chill out.

Fucked up something at work a few days ago but it didn't seem to be that big of a deal.

Then, yesterday, someone put a ticket on my name from the person/account I fucked something up with.

I spend yesterday evening and this morning worrying so much that I literally constantly had to talk myself down/calm

Asked this morning if it would be fixable easily because I couldn't hold my nerves anymore.

"oh yeah that'll take just a few minutes, just put the ticket on my name!"

I seriously need to learn how to control this 😞

Me and my senior used to do doodle in papers whenever we get stuck in some code problems or having free time. It always has been our way to relax our mind kind of meditation.

One day our boss saw our doodle work. He asked us to do doodle in office wall. So far this has been our progress.

⚪Present yourself properly

⚪Have a basic idea about the company and the role you're applying for

⚪Be respectful and pleasant to everyone when you go to an interview

⚪Day before the interview, go over the interview in your head and prepare as much as you can ( this way you'll be more comfortable in the actual interview )

⚪Figure out and prepare your "Strength and weakness" answers

⚪Don't lie on your resume or in the interviews, if you don't know something, simply say "I'm sorry i don't have experience with that”

⚪Being nervous is ok, but try to relax and answer the questions correctly and clearly

⚪Don't give up and join something that's not worth investing your time

Time to relax

@dfox Feature request
Could we have fully displayed rants ? Maybe as a setting disabled by default ?
I mean sometimes i'd like to relax and just mindlessly scroll, and having to tap to read longer rant and then tap back is, well, too much.
Especially when the rant ia only like 2 words above limit.

I've been writing React/JavaScript code at work all week, so better relax as long as the weekend lasts by writing more React/JavaScript code for personal projects, haha!

The news that Facebook will actually finally change the license of four of their really good libraries, part of which is React, to MIT is just an extra thick icing on that sweet, sweet cake.

I'm so stressed lately that even when I try to relax I stress out because I keep trying to relax in the most efficient way possible... Fuck

-PROBABLY THE END OF MY !DEV "HOSPITAL" POSTS-

I just laid down in my bed... And I cried.
Apparently nothing is damaged, I hope.
I even managed to get up from my (very low) bed, get to another room and back to my bed on my own. That's a huge step for me. Seriously.

Now I try to relax for one or two hours, watch one of the streams I missed in the last 4 weeks and do what I need to do later and after that I will sleeeeeeep, I will sleep sooooooo goooooood.

Thank you all for your help in this bad time. It really helped a lot.

I'm insanely pissed and I wish a violent death to everyone who talks to me in the next 12 hours.

I was working on a bash auto-answer script, to automatically answers questions from a long quiz.
To cheat, obviously...

I had finished my script and made a file with questions and a files with all correct answers to test if my script was working or not...

questions.txt::

- Question ?
A: Wrong answer
B: Wrong answer
C: Correct answer
D: Wrong answer

and so on for 65 questions

answers.txt::

Question;Correct answer

for 65 questions/answers...

I was trying to replace the "- " before every question in questions.txt with an incrementing number, like this:

1. Question ?
A:
B:
C:
D:

I tried to do that with sed, I spent 6 hours working on the script, all I needed was a perfect sample file like stated above. So I decided to use sed to replace the "- " with numbers.

At lots of moments, I fucked up with a sed regexp, and it generated lots of files starting with "sed" and a randon sequence of letters/numbers and I deleted them everytime.

And once I found the perfect sed example on StackOverflow on how to replace a pattern with incrementing number, I found the easiest solution, but before trying it, of course, I wanted to delete all the "sed*" files.

So I went on and typed:

rm -f sed *

instead of:

rm -f sed*

So 6 fucking of hours were gone...
I deleted all files because of one stupid blank space.

When I realized it, I closed my laptop and went to bed. It all happened 20 minutes ago. Time to relax, fucking go to sleep.

The lesson is :
Don't cheat or use Git.

And then that annoying popup says again "Internet Explorer has stopped working".

Relax dude. It never did.

So, been at a 4* hotel for the first time. And in their relax lounge, they had an iMac.
There was nothing wrong with it... Until I rebooted it.

Edit: It appears they did it for a proprietary hotel software of some sort that only runs on Windows... But... It didn't really work either, so 10/10.

Short story time.
3-4 years ago I was a script kiddie, I have to admit.
But when I looked back at this, I just notice more and more retardation that happened that day.

Was on a vacation in Greece. Returned one day from the beach, we all got sunburns and we decided to relax in our apartments.
But since the apartments were so near eachother, you could hear everything, I MEAN EVERYTHING. Some asshole neighbor decided to play some (in my taste) awful fucking music as loud as he can. And since we tried to make them quiet for a couple of minutes. And since we saw it was playing off of YouTube on a laptop from the balcony of the next apartment, I decided to do something, unusual.... (since I'm the IT guy)
Hack them using my phone that I just got, GENIUS! (this is before I knew Linux was a thing and that Backtrack/Kali existed)
So I search YouTube and I find this app, cSploit, that had pentesting tools and such. Natrually I install it.
> "We take no responsibility with what you do with this app..."
> FUCK YEA, I'VE GOT THIS.
> Try some exploits, but none work since we are on a different network, ends up disabling own network for a minute or two. (BECAUSE IT'S A DIFFERENT BUILDING DUMBASS)
> Learn what MITM and DoS attacks are.
> Try DoS-ing a access point.
> "Select network....."
> hehehehheheheh, I've got the power.
> ends up disabling networks from random people (they didn't notice though)
> found my target
> "No more shitty music for you!"

I was the hero that day.

There are things that i wish i didn't see.

Yesterday, i went to a coffee shop to relax and reviewing my works. And suddenly a college friend of mine approach me and we started talking about work.

Me: So, What do you do at work? What's your stack?
Him: Not much of a new. Still working with wordpress, html,css and jquery.

So he started talking about how cool wordpress is and how he generates money doing sites.

Me: Can i see your sample works?
Him: Sure, *opens his shitty windows laptop with Web Tech stickers*. and handover his laptop to me.
Me: Woah. the design is so neat (I'm lying). But it's freaking slow man(REALLY FVCKING SLOW).

* I decided to open the devTools and inspected the source code. And I can't believe what i saw.

- 20+ images with 2~4mb file size
- 13 unminified javascript files with variable declarations that looks like minified.
- CDN's of bootstrap, foundation and semantic UI
- LOTS OF FVCKING PLUGINS

* I didn't told him what i saw. I just turn over the laptop to him and finish my coffee.

Him: My sites are cool right? I have a lot of pending projects right now. Easy money Bruh!
Me: Wow. *sips* coffee. and say goodbye to him and walkout.

I FEEL BAD FOR HIS CLIENTS!

PRO LIFE SAVING TIPS FOR DEVS (long rant, not clickbait 😝)

I have a medical condition called DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis). It clots blood in veins near lower body parts. Affected leg swells and become red and it is very painful. It happens when you very frequently sit for very long.

I used to play games, code and stuffs for hours and sometimes I used to stay at home without taking decent walk for weeks. I am only 18 and did not see it coming. But its really early stage and I might be fully recovered real soon.

This condition is not rare and happens to millions of people every year. And it can be avoided if you avoid sitting at computers for long hours and take 5 mins to walk or stretch. Even if you can avoid this condition, there are many others if you dont pay attention on your body. Please take some time to google how you can avoid anything such.

(Please don't comment sympathies, I really know you wish well for me. Instead you can throw tips what you do to relax after long hours of work).

Got a new job as a Full Stack Engineer. Moving to a new city. Feeling extremely nervous and a bit scary (cause I don't speak the language). Sitting here browsing devRant to ease up and relax.

I can't relax watching Silicon Valley because they have such a stressfull life that it reminds me of all the stressfull things I have to do.

11:45am: "Ok one more issue to fix and then I can take a nice long break and relax a little bit. My next meeting isn't until 2.

12:45pm: "Well this issue is taking longer than expected but that's okay. I can grab lunch and still relax a little bit."

1:59pm starving, thirsty and really need to pee and can only choose one. Oh, and the issue still isn't fixed: "god dammit."

Really upbeat quirky music on full blast. That really gets me pumped up.

*Story Time*
In my previous company, I had the best co-workers both technically and personally. So this one time we had a product launch scheduled and there was a shit load of tasks that had to be done before the launch. The entire team used to work for 18 hours straight almost daily to meet the deadline. Sometimes stress used to get the better of us, so to help ourselves relax, we used to play pranks on each other. Like this one time one of my friends had left his email logged in. Obviously we shot out a mail to the entire company group that I have become a dad. The funny part about this was he wasnt even married. So things like these used to keep us going and there was always laughter and fun going around.

Folks, it's the weekend! Time to relax, get some 🍷 & figure out how Vim works finally!

Online ads....

I think the problem is that in the age of "AI" and "machine learning" etc etc - the reality is that targeted or personalised advertising is absolutely shite.

All I see when I browse around are ads for things that I bought. It's like - I FUCKING BOUGHT THIS WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL IT TO ME??!

I think anyone worried about the machine uprising enslaving humanity can relax and not worry about it, at least until amazon can understand when it has sold you something or you just looked at something.

Starting tomorrow my team lead will be out of office for a month....

In other news, and totally unrelated, starting tomorrow everyone on my team is gonna be super chill and generally in a better, more relaxed, mood.

Funny coincidence.

Languages I have used this week at work:
PHP, JS, VB6, VB.net, C#.
Im not kidding.
Time to relax with some good ol' beer 🤣

Last night I met up with some old colleagues for food and drinks to have a catchup. Things have been stressful in work, was great to get out and have a bit of a rant and just relax ... until I saw the menu.

Hamburger:
xyz dressing / sauce, crispy onions ... and cheddar cheese.

That sir, is a fucking cheese burger, and just piss poor documentation. How have you managed to stay in business with such misleading information and false advertisements in your menu.

Thank you for ruing my evening!

So I work for this European startup and we are hiring new members. Few days ago a CV arrived from a guy who applied for a full stack dev position. Now You know how a standard CV looks like right? It has a header, education part, list of skills, hobbies etc. - simply said a CV should have a logical structure. Now this guy's CV had no structure at all. The whole document was more like a letter that you would send to a friend or some kind of motivational letter - it looks like this:

"Dear sir or madame, my name is ... and I am ... years old. I am writing to apply for ... I was born in ... and I have 3 siblings. My programming skills include ... When I am not programming I just try to relax and play with my cat ..."

Our HR girl showed that to me and I was like "he must be a genius, i think we should interview him in person". So the guy arrived and at the end he was just an ordinary programmer who just forgot to enclose his CV to an e-mail.

I just wanted to say that some people nowadays think that if somebody is weird then he must be super smart or exceptional. Thus more and more people try to behave this way like nerds/geeks in order to attract that attention. However they had not think of that this behavior is like a double edge sword because people also tend to except more from a "genius"

Me @ people having code trouble : haha, relax! It's not the code's fault nor computers, it just does what you tell it to.

Me @ code giving me trouble : I fucking know code has ancestry and you bring dishonor to yours, fucknuckle.

I completwly hate windows. Tomorrow I've got an exam, I wanted to play for an hour before I go to sleep to relax. Boot into windows half an hour early because I knew it would fuck up somehow (I'm usually on linux, windows is there only for games). Graphics card driver isn't working anymore (AMD), uninstall with their tool, restart. And now windows goes like "FUCK YOU!!! YOU ARE NOT PLAYING SHIT TODAY YOU SAD FUCK!" in the form of "Getting windows ready for you, please don't turn off your computer" for the past 2 hours. I just wanted to play a game and now I'm so fuckin triggered by this non-sense of an OS, how can someone make something so fuckin shit

!rant
500 rumpsteak and a beer.
How do you guys relax? Even it is the weekend I'm still thinking about work. I can't let go. I feel like I'm constantly under preassure to fucking deliver, not only from boss but by my own standards. It just never stops in my head! How do you make it stop?

Phone off,
Everyone out,
Just me, a beer and my laptop <3

Finally some relaxation ^.^

!Rant
Had an employee evaluation today that I had been anticipating with a lot of anxiety since December. Went in with major impostor syndrome thinking I’m just not contributing enough and I was going to be put on the spot. But, they told me they couldn’t be happier with the work I’ve been doing. Now I can finally relax.

Ummm, so tell me

Good morning people. Holidays in Malta. Trying to forget html, css, php, MySQL and JavaScript 🙂 ... But my heart is with you 😂

Whenever a friend is raging over some bug i'm like:

Calm down... relax... write a rant... get schwifty...

So a few days ago I shared about the conflict with my colleague on learning React. Today I was let go. Obviously I asked why they would do that and they said they feel the problem isn't even my React knowledge but the fact I don't grasp the fundamentals of OO programming.

Thing is in these 3 months there has not been a single code review. They are either going of what my lying colleague told them (they claimed he was excluded from giving feedback), or the consultants who were hired to help us. And yes, I got feedback I should improve but at the same time the assurance so long as I show improvement it'd be fine. And I was told they could see improvement. So I'm not sure what changed but suddenly there is no budget to keep me on. In any case it feels like shitty corporate bullshit.

But I can't say they are wrong. I struggle to explain simple concepts I know in words. I've worked a series of bad jobs where nobody cared how you did stuff as long as it got done. I feel I'm so behind now and so affected by bad knowledge it's even harder to fix than to learn the first time. So I'm wondering how to fix this.

I'm really gutted too because I loved this company. I was finally getting a fair wage instead of being underpaid. The people were excellent. I felt I could finally relax and feel safe at work. And now I feel betrayed. Which for someone with self esteem issues is very hard. Can't trust in myself and can't trust in others.

I'm gonna try and pick myself up in the morning, but today I feel totally shit. This wasn't how I'd expected things to go. I thought my manager had intended to talk conflicts over but instead I get the boot. And the advice to stop overselling myself. Real useful that. Like it is on me that they hired me despite my subpar interview because my CV looked good. It's a shitty excuse. In any case they're now stuck with a dev that walks out of work, throws false accusations about colleagues, and another person warned me about to not engage because nothing good ever came from it. He's gonna keep over engineering everything and make up for all the time he wastes outside of work creating a dysfunctional environment for everyone. But yeah, easier to fire the new person who does her best despite the odds. And who cautioned against over engineering because we kept missing deadlines. And who believes in refactoring when it is needed because that's how agile works. Yeah better keep someone who has no sense of work life balance and makes others miserable then claiming he's being driven out by your ignorance. And of course the consultants who throw your own people under the bus. Can't get rid of those now.

the best friends
#dom #jquery #programming #coding

Those moments when your mind is thinking to code but you are tired and want to relax on weekend

Relax junior LOL

What is your favorite game to stress out? Mine is Euro Truck Simulator 2.

Just blowing off steam with y'all. It will sound confused, but it's just all of my depressive thoughts mashed up in a rant.

So, here I am.

Surrounded by incompetent professors who are unable to point me in the right direction, that rarely even know what they are 'teaching'. In a moment of total loss, that has been lasting for months. Totally lost my motivation and my will to pursue a career in IT. All I do is game, eat, sleep, repeat. I am exhausted mentally. When I get back from school, I can't think of anything else but to relax and do nothing. I am frustrated. I care about becoming a programmer, but I can't find my inner strenght. School draws all of my strenght and willpower away from me, and therefore I get distracted very easily. I just do not know what to do anymore. I want to keep going, but I am stuck, unable to do so. "Perhaps this is just not for me" is what keeps resounding inside my head, but I do not truly believe it. I just wish that all of this stress would just disappear, and allow me to do what I care about. I need help to find the needed focus to continue.

Processing is WHAT?!
So is it just me or is processing like the most fun thing to do with coding ? I mean, it's perfect for relax; it's fun like playing games but it still gives you something.

I've never been so keen to code like I am after weekend with processing. OMG!
And it's not just that you can do everything, understand how M$ Paint/Photoshop does things, understand how games work and how EVERYTHING around graphics works, it's also that there are SO MANY REAAAAALLY GOOD resources that you enjoy ""studying"". Things like pong, game of life, Gaussian blur (the one you use in Photoshop daily, yeah, do you understand how it works ?), Painting or edge detection OR ANY OTHER THING RELATING TO GRAPHICS.

It's simply amazing so if you don't know about it, give it at least 10 minutes(at that point, you'll be programming GTA 6/Photoshop 2 or something..), you won't regret it.

Anyaway, feel free to share your creations!

trying to relax on a Friday night, but can't stop thinking about the code at work

Playing games, especially ones with stunning environment and good graphics, when I need to relax I just roam around enjoying the scenery and acting like normal people in GTA

*hello from zero dawn

You know, as much as I love computers and technology, I sometimes get sick of staring at a computer screen (especially at work). I just wanna hang out in a park and read a book, for as long as I want, while I relax to the sounds of birds chirping and the breeze of the wind as it brushes through leaves.

It was a long flight but he just flapped right along! Good job my guy! Time to relax on the beach and enjoy the water!

So I'm working on an CLI right now that fetches data from a website and downloads other stuff based on that data etc bla bla. And since its async it can fully taste my whole internet speed (130Mb/s).

So everything's good and I started working on a new feature. I started the app and it worked... For 3 minutes. After that it just stopped. It didn't even freeze or anything. After 2 hours of debugging and 3 cans of coffee I was so frustrated I just wanted to watch some YouTube and relax. That's the moment I realized I didn't even have internet. I hate my ISP...

The nice thing about machine learning is the part where the computer teaches itself and the human can relax!

!rant

Coding is like having superpowers.
For instance: For school i have to read 8 books and I have limited time and motivation. What I did? I wrote a program that filters the text from a pdf or epub and converted it to spoken text with gtts (Google Text To Speech).

Now all I have to to is to listen to the story and relax..

Beer. When working on a personal project or working from home. Helps me relax, find the problem, and move on

Practice "garbage collector": relax by keeping your eyes closed for exactly 10 minutes when you feel tired (you won't fall asleep).

I usually do it once (after lunch) or twice a day (and mid afternoon).

Benefits are huge: just try it.

I'm actually a Dev, mostly just a shell scripter who needs to support 500 servers which run our applications. I install the new versions and check whatever is wrong if there are customer issues.
One release weekend everything went wrong, Development had to make new builds on the fly with hardly any time for testing.
It took 18 hours with no break.
It was extremely hard to concentrate, but being in the Skype group with everyone and finally getting everything fixed was quite rewarding.
Everyone just opened a beer and we stayed on the call for about 30 more minutes just to relax.

I like our Dev team way better than I like my actual colleagues, who merely mess things up and call me for the smallest thing without even thinking.

Lazy days.

I've just closed a shitload of issues on three different projects.. my head is exploding and I just want to relax a bit.. So while I was sitting on my regular private place, sipping on my beer... I was checking my Projects folder and found old personal project of mine from before 4 years or so.. its been an hour and 3 beers.. It looks so much easier now than when I began it.. and yeah.. Somehow maybe useful some day.. app that gathers my emails and checks for bills for electricity and etc. Just to sort all this stuff out you know. Well who knew that it could be so relaxing?

The best codes born, when you are on the toilet.

"SoapUI is such stable and pleasant to use on Windows"

So pleased I've got a week off work, I can just relax without even thinking about development. Ahh bliss.

*Opens Visual Studio ten minutes later*

So about 3 weeks ago I was laid off from my dream job due to corporate bullshit. From the feedback received since then it is clear that the company made a mistake hiring a brand new React dev while they really needed an experienced one. Because the consultants who were supposed to be weren't. And the other in-house front end dev was an elitist asshole. And I never received proper feedback until it was too late. Actually I still don't have proper feedback save for some vague stuff which really sounds like the kind of feedback you'd give someone in the middle of their learning process. They even said eventually given more time I could have made it. But alas they felt they had to make a call in the best interest of the company.

Things moved fast since then, I took a week to recover and then I spent time updating my resume before getting back in touch with the recruiter who got me my last job. Great guy and he was happy to help me again. Applied to some positions, got some replies, first in person interview I go to they are immediately willing to take me on.

So now I'm supposed to start tomorrow but somehow I'm having my doubts. The company isn't an IT company but rather a fashion company. They believe in developing in house tools because past attempts with external companies resulted in them trying to push their vision through. Knowing who they worked with I agree, they tried to oversell all the time. But after talking with their developers I noticed they are behind on their knowledge. But so am I. So there was no tech interview which means I am getting an easy way in. And if they honour their word I'll be signing tomorrow for around my old wages.

So you'd think that sounds good right? And yet I'm worried it's going to be another shit show working on software without proper analysis or best practices. I mean the devs aren't total idiots, they are mediors like me and I think their heart is in the right place. They want to develop a good project but it will be just us 3 making a modern .net wpf application with the same functionality of the old Access based system currently in use. I was urged by the boss to draw on my experience and I think he wants me to help teach them too. But I'm painfully aware for my decade since graduating I'm a less than average .net dev who struggles with theory and never worked a job where I had someone more experienced to teach me. I coasted most of the time in underpaid jobs due to various reasons. But I'd always get mad over shitty code and practices. Which I realize is hypocritical for someone who couldn't explain what a singleton class is or who still fails at separation of concerns.

So yeah my question for the hivemind is what advice would you give a dev like me? I honestly dislike how poor I perform but it often feels like an insurmountable climb, and being over 30 makes it even more depressing. On the other hand I know I should feel blessed to find a workplace who seems to genuinely believe that people grow and develop and wishes to support me in this. Part of me thinks I should just go in, relax, but also learn till I'm there where I want to be and see if these people are open to improving with me. But part of me also feels I'm rushing into this, picking the first best offer, and it sure feels like a step backwards somehow. And that then makes me feel like an ugly ungrateful person who deserves her bad luck because she expects of others what she can't even do herself :(

After days and days of thinking and looking for inspiration, yesterday I came up with an original design.
Everything good, and after an hard work I relax reading the Google Play Awards 2018 nominations. Fine, except for the fact that there's an app which looks EXACTLY like mine.

I just fought with a particularly nasty and annoying bug in a rather complicated user settings controller. That shit just cost me four goddamn, motherfucking hours and ruined my Sunday night.

It was a trivial bug, but not obvious to me, because I misinterpreted an error thrown by a Phoenix.Ecto function that I had produced myself too. So I was actually dealing with two bugs without realizing it. I'm such a colossal fucking idiot. Maybe I should sleep more than two hours before programming, for a change.

But at least both bugs are fixed now and I can relax. Meh.

I go to my day job and people ask:

'So what you going to do with your 3 days off?'

'I'm going to code'

'Noooo you should relax and chill'

'I WISH!!!'

Most embarrassing interview rejection was not even in person, it was over the phone.

The company that I was going to work for (quite a big one mind you), scheduled to phone me at 2PM, I was preparing mentally for 2PM, so I took my girlfriend to lunch at 1. Just to relax and calm myself before the phoned me.

It was 34 degrees (celcius - I think that's about 93 farenheit? somewhere close) outside and I was waiting for her to finish her smoke (she was in the smoking area).

They phoned me, and it caught me completely off-guard. My years of knowledge just seemed to flush down the toilet at that moment, and I utterly felt stupid talking to the guy over the phone. It was a first for me, and I hope that it never happens again - he basically stopped me, told me that I had better not apply before I know what I am talking about (as I was wasting his time), and then put down the phone on me..

Worst part was that my girlfriend came back right then and asked me if I am ready for the interview. I hung my head in shame because I was ashamed to tell her that I fucked it up, because you know, I kind of needed the job (the one I had at the stage was shitty).

In my unenlightened youth, when programming was a module in my college diploma that didn't seem to be taking me where I wanted to go, I had a couple of guys guy in my class that could arguably be the weird ones.

Jonny, although he asserted that he was to be called "Jonhty", whatever, we never did. He was pretty much top of the high school food chain and for some reason elected to study computer science, none of us was prepared to put up with his shit. He was always boasting about some fanciful claim or another, famously entering the classroom and exclaiming he'd "fucked an absolute milf" and seemed somewhat evasive about the answer, turns out he was 17 and she was 35, the age difference was greater than his own age. We burst out laughing. He would also turn up late and state the college bus was late (it wasn't I got the free bus every day, he'd just not got out his wanking chariot early enough).

One valentine's day we got him a card from a mysterious stranger which was accompanied by a package containing a cucumber and Vaseline, the inside of the card read "to assist you in the following request: please go fuck yourself".

Before you think we were being unduly harsh, we had a centre table where we'd be taught from with computers around the outer rim of the room. He'd come up behind people while at the centre desk, quietly press ctrl+P and slowly walk back to the printer. I saw him do it to my machine and I got to the printer first, to which he shouted "that's MY work" which was amusing because unbeknownst to him I had put headers on all my documents so he really didn't have an answer for why my name was at the top of every page.

To top it all off he had dead eyes, there didn't appear to be much going on but the rent, there was no spark of intelligent life, and while I thought it, I never said it out loud, but other students did and I had to agree. He was just copying his way to graduation. However, he ultimately didn't graduate when people refused to allow him to copy.

Another guy, Richard I believe his name was, which is just as well because he was a right dick. In the UK our word for white trash is "chav" (that's a very naïve explanation for it but that's another rant best left for "socialsciencerant") and he was an complete idiot who was gifted with more brain cells than he ever needed to use. He actually studied hard and got reasonable grades, probably on par with me, but he boasted about smoking weed all the time, he was forever playing dark side of the moon via his loud mp3 player. I kinda left him alone generally until he was high in class one time and while we we're watching a documentary he'd shake my chair and make a weird noise in my ear every few minutes, the first couple of times startled me, the remaining multi-dozen times pissed me off.

It all came to a head with this guy when I'd been hearing about his uninteresting bs on drugs, music and how best to spend my time ("you need to lighten up man, come round my house, take a joint and relax man", that sorta thing), well this guy walked like he was mid way through shitting himself so I personally think that perhaps he is too chilled. Anyway he's arguing with me and after the exchange of him making his point, me disagreeing and expecting the end of it, he made the mistake of saying two words to me:

"Listen, mate..."

And I had him in check mate.

"Listen, I ain't your fucking mate , I don't even like you, you're a disruptive annoying twat that thinks he knows it all, we're all 17, none of us know anything, so shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and stop boring me with your drugs, I ain't interested, and for the record I think pink Floyd ruined prog rock!"

He looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes, and started with the "but, why?", However I was interrupted and had to leave the class for unrelated reasons, I returned to be told he'd put safety pins up right on my chair so I'd sit on them, and mutual friends who TD me I'd been cruel and that he doesn't was hurt, so I should apologize, he overheard and said he was sorry for bring a bit of a dick.

However, you just know when you don't get on with someone? Yeah, that. So I said I wasn't sorry for what I said, for while it was harsh, I am not his mate, nor did I want to be his mate and that was all I had to say on the subject, and that if he wants to take offensive to a nobody not liking him then he's in for a very rough time in life.

Unsurprisingly I don't keep in touch with anyone from college!

Can’t relax when something is not working right, fuck

FUUUUuuuuuuu....
No, just no! I said I don't want you restart right now! Or ever! Dafaq duuude!? I thought we had a deal?! You don't update, I don't rant about you!? Well fuck you too!! Deal's off! I hate you, Loki, I hate you!! Stop restarting & updating when I'm tryin to relax & watch series!!

I remember the first time I had a code block, I sat on my desk for up to 18 hours trying to fix it. In the end realizing that my impatience is not helping me. It was all in vain. A tired mind did not help.

I finally came to realise that I was lacking on knowledge and a tired brain did not help. I did it the next day but learnt a huge lesson. When it's just not your day, it's not you day. A fresh mind will help next day. Relax, do anything apart from code.

Too much of code can drain you of ideas and smartness. You need to let your mind breathe. Life away from the PC is important too.

>Sitting at desk pondering over what is wrong with code.

:Top

BRAIN : "maybe we will think better with /another/ cup of cofee?"

Repeat until

BRAIN : "damn now im too jittery to think about code. Maybe if I relax woth some music/meme hunting ill be able to focus"

Repeat until

BRAIN : "Damnit i spent 2 hours on 9gag and not coding. Gotta get back to this bug squashing but im now so tired. Maybe some cofee will help me think"

Goto Top

Want to relax.......
its just a road map to success

I think I might get close to a burnout. Last week was extremely stressful because of a deadline and I worked 45 hours in 4 days. Even in the evening my heart is pounding like a coke addict who had his last nose 1 hour ago.

What is your personal way of dealing with (work related) stress?
What activities help you best to cool down and relax?

I've not yet tried meditation but am trying to take some time to regularly do sport after the work, hopefully it helps.

while(true){
while(beTired()==true){
goRelax();
}
while(beBored()==true){
goProgram();
}
}

That's a fucking infinite loop

This is one from when I was in school, so I wasn't a dev but it made me feel like a CS student badass.

A class mate and I were having a discussion about his study habits. Basically he was freaking about the mount of studying he was going to have to do for this class:

Me: dude, you need to relax. You'll do fine.
Classmate: no, have you seen the amount of work that is on the syllabus? The size of the book?
Me: wait you bought the book? Also we took this same professor for several classes. His syllabuses are always huge. What did you get in the prereq to this class?
CM: an A.
Me: there you go.
CM: but I had to study all the time. I had no free time.
Me: really? I had an insane amount of free time.
CM: what did you get?
Me: B+.
CM: See but I did better than you.
Me: yeah . . . but I had fun last year.
Professor: you know, it's hard to tell who is the better student. The one that had no fun, but got an A. Or the one that had a lot of fun and got a B.
Other Classmates: probably the guy that got the B.

Hurray for peer and professor validated laziness.

//Worst day ever.
Everything just broke today. I'm making an app for a website. Of course the site is down and it may not get back up, rendering my work useless.
I wanted to play a game this morning to relax...aaand servers down.
Later I updated the amd drivers on my laptop and now everything is just so slow that I can't use it so I'll be reinstaling windows tomorrow.
And stupid me I thought I could release the app this week.

So...this happened a long time ago but decided to share it with you.
I joined a company that works a lot with JS Frameworks, Java, Spring and Web Stuff. The first day I joined, I thought I was going to be assigned to an Android Development (Since that was the position I applied for) but...oh my! How wrong was I!
This guy (A project leader) comes to me and tells me: "Well, ready for your first project?"
"Yup, tell me what's all about".
He proceeds to give me a document...with NodeJS requirements... and I'm like "Man...I...I was hired for and Android De...", "No, no, no, no", he interrupted "we are going to train you to know NodeJS too...and well...that project was supposed to be starting by...tomorrow and...yeah...you passed to be the only resource available at the moment..."

I was shocked like... "Hey but...I know nothing about NodeJS...How am I supposed to..."
"Google it...oh! and review the projects that are on our Github Org."

When I saw all the NodeJS repos...I was yelling in my mind "Damn...I'm toast"

The project leader never appeared again during the day. I was sitting on my new desk, reading the requirements, collecting resources (courses, basic examples), reading, taking notes...
Got home, repeated the formula...

I arrived at work the day after. Destroyed but at least on my way to become a NodeJS Dev.

Project leader appears on my desk and says
- "How you doing? How's project going?"
- "Well...I studied a lot and..."
- "Studied? You were supposed to be building this thing since yesterday..."
- "*sigh and trying to relax* I told you I had no knowledge of NodeJS, give me a break...I'll start today"
Project leader stares at me...
- "Well...want to see what tasks you can complete by today...This was to be finished by yesterday and well...look...anyway..."

Sat on my desk, waited for him to leave, put my headphones on and tried not to kill myself of a heart attack due to a contained rage.

Later on, on the same company, the way was fired for being such a..."good person" (Sarcasm). Friends on the office told me he used to be way worse than that...

Well...at least our new project leader understood the situation. I got back to Android development but decided to study NodeJS independently (Just because)

Have you had a project leader like this?
Sorry if you notice some grammar mistakes, still improving my english skills :)

If I find myself stuck for more than a reasonable time on a single bug, never plough on.

Get up, listen to some music, relax on your memory foam mattress, close your eyes and simply relax. Get back to your workstation and I always find myself solving it within seconds and wondering, "SHIT, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE"

And I find myself answering it's because I never took a break!

I just got ran off the road, in real life. My heart won't stop beating. Not a joke, or a funny story, I can't seem to relax.

coming back from monday OoO to this email chain from user 1. "hey i get an error please help" 2. cc teammate 3. cc my boss. 4. cc his boss. 5. meeting between him and someone on a different team who'll 'take care of it'
Get pinged in slack before i even sit down 'please help'
"hey man, whats the error?"
'oh i get a java exception in $application_completely_unrelated_to_anything_weve_ever_worked_together_on and you've fixed errors like this for me before can you do your magic . #bro

Everybody relax! False alarm! The website wasn't down, I was still connected to the VPN.

Fucking fuck shit monkeycocksucking gargling wtf!

I was getting some stuff done in my accounting software and it bugged me that the fields were dark and the fonts as well, thus seeing fucking shit. This was clearly a bad choice of a gtk3 dark theme, thus i switched to the fucking default adwaita, suddenly gnome session crashes.
Ok, i just log out and log back in.
Logout.... Nothing happens.... Ctrl-alt-backspace , nothing happens (and i knew i enabled that in the settings)
Ok let's do it a bit more forceful and restart the display manager... Gdm starts... I insert my credentials... It fucking crashes.

WTF!!!

I desperately try to debug it, xsession error msg'es? Nope. Something in /var/log/messages? Nope. Something, anything at all, nope sherlock nopedinope!

About to go batshit crazy, purging and reinstalling all of gnome, thibking that, what ever setting lust have broke it, it will be fixed now.

No fucking fuck desktop!!!

I lost my nerve and replaced gdm with lightdm, and i finally, after three hours wasted on my machine, i get my gnome desktop back... But in a state of mess! Extensions don't work and make it crash again, user themes? Nope, go fuck yourself with plain default.

I'm really losing my shit, business is almost non-existant, and now ly FUCKING desktop refuses to work like i want to. Everything is fucking broken to shits !!

I'm gon a go to my gf, and relax a little, at least i still have a working laptop.

Question is, for how long???

Fml

So I just found an old branch, from an ex co-worker, with a whole bunch of unmerged docs. This effectively cuts my workload for today in half.

Today I'm going home early fuck yeesss

Also I will be sending that guy some well deserved couple of beers

What tha actual fuck! I couldn't come up with a solution at work for hours. Sit in the train and relax, when it hits me. So fucking stupid and so fucking easy solution at my disposal in a few minutes....

"This semester I will take more time for my personal projects"
Week one, having to organize all the uni stuff
Week 2-4, too much homework, no time
Week 5-7, fucking midterms
Week 8-9, too much homework
Week 10, finally time to relax a bit. Probably not going to work on my project. Fuck my time planning, fuck the day for only having 24h.

By taking one 30 minute dump in the toilet per day to relax and read other people's code on my phone

Time to relax

frustrated with code walk to bathroom.

favorite stall open. check. phone battery above 10%. check. vape. check. dev rant. check.

ahhhh time to relax.

I usually find Fridays really exciting 'cause they mean the end of a long week of work and a nice weekend where I can just relax and chill or do whatever the fuck I want, And also because nothing really major happens regarding work happens on Fridays.
Till this Friday, my boss who I really respect and who I find a nice boss to work for starting complaining about the speed of an app we developed and comparing its speed with 2 other versions of that were built using different stack, different architecture and another environments. I explained that it's absurd to compare these and expect the same performance from 3 differents implementations.
He was not convinced and I just kept my mouth shut 'cause I don't want to explode in anger. Because of all Friday night sucked, felt all depressed, wanted to distract myself by watching a movie, but I didn't find anything that I liked, I remembered that a new episode of this series I watching will be coming out that night, when I went to my usual streaming website I didn't find it, and discovered that it'll be coming out on March 1st 😣.
I had no video games to play, didn't feel like coding. By then i realised that tonight will be another nigh where I would be crying myself to sleep... which happened.
I woke up this morning with a resolution that I will go out and do something fun.
Little did I know, my depression was still there, now it's 8pm, I spent the whole day in bed. I wish I had someone to talk to, I friends are all busy living and I didn't want to disturb them.
I have another chance to save this weekend by doing something on Sunday, otherwise next week will be a hard one with my current mental state.

Excuse any typos in my rant. I have no energy left.

Sometimes you must just use weekend to chillout and relax.

The perks of working in IT

That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.

This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.

Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?

So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.

I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.

The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).

Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.

Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/

Windows 10 updates. I see many posts about singular events that people have experienced, so I thought I'd try to sum up all the problems I have had.

Home computer, always on:
Is scheduled to update during 'inactive hours' but the options for that window are too narrow. So almost daily the 'required updates' overlay pops up WHILE I'M DOING STUFF and I have to say 'Ok' then close the update settings window that opens automatically so I can get on with what I'm doing.
Now, if I'm just browsing, writing or something like that, it's just really annoying.
But when I'm gaming and it causes the game to freeze up (because, you know, ubisoft and ea and such) and I lose my progress, that pisses me off.
When I'm hosting movie night with my friends and the movie gets interrupted, that pisses me off.
Even when I'm just trying to relax with a good show after a hard day and THAT gets interrupted, it really bugs me.
And then when there's a major update and I don't want to schedule it right away, they decide that I probably meant 'do it in an hour'. And then a message pops up every hour with only the option to postpone one more hour. What happened to all the options for scheduling it for several days in the future? Nope! Can't decide? We'll do it RIGHT NOW, NO TAKEBACKS, THAT'S FINAL!
I cannot fathom that they can't find a way to ACTUALLY do the 'inactive hours' thing.

And then there's the work computer. For the last two years, that has been a laptop that I shut down and take home every day. The common problem with that is that it always tells me it has to update when I want to shut down for the day because I have to go home. I can't leave the pc turned on in my bag, it would overheat. So since there is no option to shut down without updating anymore, I have had to rely on the fact that using the power button to shut down circumvents the update.
And if I don't remember to update at home, it's then going to waste my time the next morning at work.
Just give me the option to delay for a bit, then remind me NON-INTRUSIVELY so I can do it when I have the time.
And then there was the update that prevented the machine from booting and I had to waste TWO working days reinstalling EVERYTHING! And we were about 6-7 people hit by that update in our organization.

So yeah. Windows updates are a real fucking problem. Yes, I wan't critical fixes for security problems and other serious software flaws.
But the current policy of 'fuck you, we're doing this' is just not fucking acceptable in any way.

JAVASCRIPT IS NOT THE SAME AS JAVA!!!!!!

I need to relax, just heard my friend saying he knew someone at Oracle ‘you know the company that owns JavaScript’. I just yelled at him.
Ok now CALM DOWN🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😤😤😤😤

Turn off readahead when you talk to ladies you'll get better performance.
Just relax and enjoy.

Now I know the solution to a work problem I want to go back to work WTF.... have a break and relax!

My specialization exam is over hurray! But what now? Went from working 30+ hours a week to 0.
Never have i felt so empty, from coming home feeling tired and a need to relax with games to just existing.

I literally got home, stared at my desktop for about an hour, and then began work on one of my friends exam projekt... I think I'm broken :p

Resolve to leave laptop at home on a long weekend vacation away to force yourself to relax and not work on anything. Spend parts of weekend thinking: "this would be the perfect spot/cafe to work on the snail simulation!"

A stressful day trying to untangle some speghetti code I wrote a while back.

On train home. Time to relax

By programming some C code.

Can we collectively as an industry just calm down a little and stop lying to ourselves in a misguided attempt to inflate our sense of purpose...

I just stumbled upon a job listing for a WordPress developer position that described it as "helping solve the big problems of the day". Seriously?! Let's stop and get real you're probably just building themes. Maybe a plugin or two. So just relax and accept you're just another web developer building yet another 💩site you're not solving "the big problems"...

... Then again it IS WordPress...

Putting on tunes before getting to work

Here is mine.
So I have been working on a project for 2 months now at my company. Briefly, I describe it as the WordPress of the surveys (create, edit, share, tons of features). Last day, I had to implement one last feature in order to make everything working and as similar as possible with the final product. I had 10 minutes to do it (had to go home) and I was like "Tomorrow bro". Believe it or not, 10 minutes was what it took me to end this fckin' project, and go home on time like "Good job Man, relax it's friday now" :)
Thanks for reading !

StressBall.push(hand.release(tension);

All I want was to turn on my PC and relax while playing my fav game after an exhausting day... but noooooo!!! Game can't start due to an app hang. Blame win10 for that...

Meh. FFS. Thats how this shit starts.

Get a call to say 2018 Bank Holidays not showing on legacy web calendar.

/me looks for bank holiday code in PHP file ..... no dice.

/me finds a dBase table that holds all Bank Holiday info. Not ideal, but I can work with that.

Enter all Bank Holidaya into dBase. Sit back, relax, wait for page to reload to show me Banks .... no dice.

Huh??

Read code more closely ......

Included file (inline, half way through PROCEDURAL FILE FFS) and notice that the linked file has all Banks hand formatted into Calendar events, and minified.

If I ever meet the old dev in the street, so help me god. 🤬

Hello fellow devs, how do you clear your mind when you cant make something work? I think most of you had this feeling like 'fuck that, creating from beggining will be easier'

I learned C with a K&R copy a friend gave me years ago. Now at University we in CompSci get taught in Python the first year and Java next while the engineers start with C and (I'm guessing) move on to assembly later on.

This friend comes to me all worried because he has to submit the next day a working Reversi game for the console written in C. Turns out the game was divided among two labs and he failed to submit the first one.

The guy is smart but once a week or so, when we met to smoke a joint and relax with some other friends, he was always talking about how he would prefer something like law but that would be bad business back in Egypt.

Back to the game, I get completely into it. First hour checking all the instructions he was given, then reviewing the code he wrote and copied from Internet. We decide start from scratch since he doesn't really get what the code he copied do. It took us 10 hours only stopping to eat but we get all the specifications of both labs perfectly.

A week after that he comes to me: "my TA said your code is the ugliest shit he's ever seen but he gave me a perfect score because it passed all the tests". I'm getting better (the courses I'm taking help me a lot) but what really made me happy is that he solved the next lab by himself (Reversi wasn't the first time I helped him, only the first time he was absolutely lost). Now he actually gets excited about coding and even felt confident for his programming final.

No more talking about being a lawyer after those 10 hours, totally worth it.

Relax, don't do it.

There shall always be coffee and no releases on a Friday! #MyExecutiveOrder

3 more days with software engineering then I can relax... Fuck me this is tuff... Who knew 😜

Troubleshooting in Windows be like - " Well mate, you are fucked. Till the time we run a baseless scan.. relax ,take a deep breath ..Check your internet connection . .. for you are going to have to google the problem and fix it yourself...

Long weekend here in Poland 🇵🇱. Decided to take the opportunity and learn something new - skateboarding.

What are you up to?

Take a hot shower, helps you relax and refocus as well as to see the problem from a different angle

I have dual-boot Windows and Linux and use Windows just for gaming. After a hard day's work, I'm like "Let's relax by playing Witcher 3 for a couple of hours". So, I restart, select Windows and guess what? Updates... Mother. Fucking. Updates...😭😭😭

want to relax......
it was a one of a roadmap to success

i cant touch computer for two days, and it make me a strange feel. maybe its a good thing . through travel to relax myself.have a funny day and then start a new coding life😁.this holiday is a long time, after this travel .also have enough time to Learning some good framework.

Exercise and sports are good ways of relax and get some discipline. Writting, either blog posts or simply for yourself improves your communication skills. On the communication side, I've specially noticed that I improved by doing talks (dev and no-dev) even if it wasn't for and audiance of more than 30. Games also helped me with problem solving and management. There's a lot a stuff 😅

If you start to get frustrated, take a break. Your brain has two modes of thinking: focused & diffuse. You can only utilize focused mode for a short time, and sometimes it's harder to look at the broader picture. Go take a walk, do some push-ups, or check devRant. You diffuse mode will make some connections when you're not even trying once you relax a little bit.

Hey I recently started working and had a few questions regarding fulfillment and sideprojects.

Although I am a game programmer now, the game we are making is not at all something I find interesting. I find myself wanting to work on some side Projects at home but its difficult to manage my time (obviously) and I cant really relax.

I do enjoy the work making the game, like, I like making the systems, I enjoy programming it, but I dislike the gameplay and the games thematics, so its a mixed bag.

I only worked there for 2 months and the game takes at least all of next year to be made. I dont want to quit, because its my first job and all and it would be stupid I dont really habe a reason to quit.

I guess I just want to hear how others are handling a situation like this

Something "very" unique happened to me this morning/night: I've managed to lose my sleepiness after just 7:45 hours of sleep (interrupted sleep, actual sleep was more like 5 hours). I had trouble falling asleep and woke up like 4-5 times in total. Last time I woke up at around 7:50am I decided to put up some white noise (vacuum cleaner sounds on yt) to relax me and at least make me feel like I'm having a superficial sleep.

PS: I usually sleep 10+ hours without even trying, most of the time I only wake up from bed so I don't feel bad for wasting half my day doing basically nothing. I start work at 11am and even then it's still hard for me to wake up at around 10am, sometimes I just pay Uber to get me to work just for the extra 20-30 mins of sleep.

So, since winter is growing closer here and the temperatures started dropping, I once again began to bring a hot tea thermos with me at my University.
Whenever I get bored and lose focus, I usually pour a cup and drink, trying to relax and regain my lost concentration.
I also fail miserably and turn to my phone when inevitably the tea runs out :/

Sometimes we woulg get a request which involves adding something or changing something to a rather large and poorly made codebase which me and my lead have not had the time to change.

This b how shit goes:

* the lead gets a call after an email was sent with apparently only 5 secs of response time( inpatient fucks)

* lead calls me in next to his station to listen to the call

* i b listening and shit, not even taking notes and shit, looking all secret weapon and shit.
Texas as fuck.

* lead puts shit on hold and looks at me

Lead: "Allright. You know the codebase as well as I do, what you think?"

Me: pffft gimme 30 mins and Ill whip out yo solution

Lead: we positive on the estimate?

Me: as positive as the Texas Rangers sucking ass but we still love em, fuck the Astros

Lead: there is only room for one team

Me: only one

**fist bump

* goes back to the call:

Lead: yeah its gonna take 2 days at most.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we do finish them in 30 mins. The trick is in doing it extra fast so we have enough time to fuck around or do some other shit and to make it seem like we do some hard shit. After maybe 6 hours we tell them that we managed to fix it before time.

Texas....as....fuck

Btw me and the lead tall about whatever while we code the stuff, most of the time I do it since my boy has heavy eye problems and I want him to relax. He has been training me a lot in regards to knowing the codebase, before I got here it was only him for two fucking campuses and the man did an outstanding job. My boy got my ass and I got his.

Teamwork, the southern gentleman's way.

Texas.

P.d while coding it he said the one of the file sizes was too big to handle, i said "das what she said" and our female manager said "i heard that".......i could have sworn that she gave me a lil wink. Well damn.

me:task assigned is a small fix.Gonna finish Early sit back relax this sprint.
mail(next day):we've moved to microservices.setup as easy as gulp landscape:start
me:cool!shinny new stuff!seems easy!!
project:npm failed..please check module xxx..
me:fine.....
after long mail chain
project:npm failed unknown file not found
me:fine.....
after hours of googling and little github issue browsing
project:server running @ portxxx
me:yay finally happy life!!makes chnages, sent for review.
reviewer:code needs refactoring!!
me:make all changes..waits for faceless reviewer from another timezone!
reviewer:thumbs up.
me:i will make it in time!!!yes!!
jenkins:buid:failure
me:no still i wont give up...
debug finds out new bugs caused by unrelated code...make new PR the end is near,one day more will definitely merge!!!
mail:jenkins down for maintenance!
me:nooooo....waits till last minute gets thumbs up for merge, finally merged in the last second!!

all for 12 lines of code change.
:/
sad life

So i kind of fucked up...

I am currently living out of town and only have my laptop and rpi with me. Wanting to try something new, i decided to challenge myself to only use linux until i get back home, but i also wanted a new distro. (Oh and btw my only internet connection is provided by my phone and tablet, which is used as a hotspot, and because i already used all of my monthly data on the tablet now i only have my phone and an unlimited 128kbps connection which turns into a decent connection only after 11pm)

I downloaded the distro image last night and was planning to install it today, so i shutdown the laptop immediately after the download finished). If only i remembered that i had already wiped the old linux partition containing GRUB.

So now i need to wait until 11 pm so i can download another image on my rpi and flash it to my usb drive. Fuck me...

I guess i'll relax until then.

1)not thinking too much.
Seriously, my mind is way too stupid to sit idle and relax. In my mind, Somewhere there is a thought about an incomplete project, somewhere there is a startup idea, somewhere there is a fear of an incomplete assignment, while somewhere there is a sad song playing.. and out of nowhere, there comes my beautiful crush and me kissing, and woah, am now doing bhangra and round and rounds of shotz with her, whoops whoops whoops go back, bro , go fucking back to your work :|

(After 5 minutes...)
"whats going on devrant now?, whats goin on insta now, has she repied on whatsapp? what she eating? hey!, i could make an app for....

And this cycle goes on....

Find what resets you mentally and use it to your advantage. For me it's either a shower or a long walk (with music). Both help me relax and gather my thoughts so I can start fresh.

So my team lead 'suggested' to me to try and be more social. i.e. hang out with the team at lunch, talk more about myself, etc... All for the sake of being a more cohesive team.

I can understand the sentiment but, as an introvert, I've been busting my gut as is to be able to speak up and ask questions and all that stuff. And being able to spend an hour away from my co-workers at lunch really helps me relax and keep my head in a good place for the rest of the day.

But now I'm going to sacrifice that hour for the sake of team unity and as a result loose my little 'zen' time. And while I like my co-workers plenty, if I'm being forced to hang around them for 8 hours (or more) straight every day without so much as a break while having to act a certain way to fit then I'm gonna stress the fudge out pretty quickly. Which will in turn lower my productivity and make my team lead unhappy with my work.

So if I don't do it, my team lead will be annoyed that I'm not being social enough. If I do do it, my team lead will be annoyed that my work isn't good enough. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm at a total loss.

PM asked me to create wireframes for new project.
Aahhh! I can chill, relax, even sleep on my desk now.

Done with my programming for the night. Now to relax with some DragonBall Super. It's the japanese episode with no subtitles, but I'm sure I'll get the gist of it.

Hey devs, out of curiosity i wanted to Ask you.. what do you do to unwind ? Any Rituals, activities etc. that help you from not going insane in stressed periods ?

my eyes do this thing where they get super sensitive and want to relax every so often

so anyway, realized "zero cool" does this too lol

What do you normally have on your second monitor when not working?

Just RELAX 😂

its the freakini weekend and i have to fix Wine (well, really i just have to reinstall Battle.net launcher app) every time I want to play Hearthstone... gonna be a long weekend.

What's a fun way to relax after spending the day fighting with JavaScript and CSS? Probably not doing Karazhan! I just want to unwind, forget about moving shit over a pixel, have a glass of wine, and play my alt.

Being pretty much the only one who has some knowledge of how to code and get my way around tech (even if minimal, I'm too lazy for my own good) in my familiar household - and by extension, my family (Family extends FamiliarHousehold - LoL I'm sorry) - (my brother is on his first grade of a programming course in high school, I'm a 2nd grade uni student aiming to become a game dev) sometimes I wish I knew nothing of it.

Don't get me wrong, I do like working on code (if in Java. C is making me wanna tear my eyes out) but sometimes ignorant family members push me through the edge.

I worked on a business thing my family started this summer and one of the "jobs" was managing everything via a website.
Fair enough, I knew nothing of it when I started but I learn fast and just like that I knew my way around it. The problem came when I had to teach the person who started the project how it worked. This doesn't sound all that bad except he is kinda in the stone age regarding informatics.
He got a computer a few years ago and he pretty much only played poker in it, and he still had one of those old nokias you could throw to a wall and get a hole into it. The computer is like 9y and runs like crap.
To make things worse he bought a new phone, a smartphone, and pestered me to teach him. I swear trying to teach him is like repeating the same thing 1000x and pray he keeps it in his head. Spoiler: he doesn't. ( sanity--; )
So to try and easy my suffering I decided to make a manual for the website (which is outdated by now because the team behind the website did a 180 and some things looks different), but it acted as if I'd done nothing. ( sanity--; )
To top this off he keeps on saying I don't wanna help him. ( sanity--; )
This kept going for the whole damn summer, and meanwhile I had to go back to uni and in the first days I still got like 4-5 calls/day, half of those might about the smallest things because he's so panicky.
Like (both examples happened while I was still there but it kinda goes along those lines sometimes):
- (During the period they changed the website the first time since we're there; they were mostly doing changes back and forth and testing because it had a new layout for a day or 2 before going back; also the site was totally functional, except for a thing or 2)
Him: "They're changing the website, why are they doing that?"
Me: "Because it's their website and they can?"
Him: "WHY DIDN'T THEY LET US KNOW"
Me: "They don't have to, they don't work for you." ( sanity--; )
Or (during the same period; the pages have a menu on the left; one of the submenus has a counter that resets every time the session ends; during that maintenance time they must've "disabled" the function because the number kept growing even after the session ended):
Him: "WHY IS THE NUMBER GROWING?"
Me: "They're working on the code, relax, it's nothing."
Him: "But why." ( sanity--; )

The only quesion he pretty much hasn't asked me yet is why "Is the website's colour this one and not that one?".

Learning how to break a result into the steps necessary to produce it, along with the broader concept of abstraction in computer science has allowed me to apply this thinking to my personal experience. I've traced personality traits and behaviors to specific events from my childhood, and can finally relax knowing that understanding computers has given me all the linguistic tools I need to talk to myself, which traditionally has been impossible. I no longer feel trapped in a terrifyingly imaginative mind.

To not be stuck means to be able to change gears mentally. Put it in neutral for a bit and take a break, relax, rest. Or coffee.

Either push through the roadblock with everything you have like it's due the next day and ride that momentum or hold back and find inspiration in little things: the sounds around you, the sights, the local wildlife (coworkers ;).

And don't forget someone else has probably had that EXACT problem and solved it so you may just luck out if you can google the right search.

Oh yes, what a lovely Sunday evening. I can finally relax after studying for 5 hours...
*phone rings*
My friend: Hey, how's studying for the test going?
Me: which test?
My friend: Math test?
Me: ...
My friend: ...

Ugh, why math.....WHYYYYYYY
I guess back to studying....
Just end me...end me right now.

When it's got to the point where hearing the word Excel makes you relax your bowels.

Plaiyng guitar. Helps me relax and I get lots of code/solution ideas while playing it.

The worst part for me is when I think about fixing an error when I should relax. Like watching a movie and then it comes, you start thinkng about a solution, even pick a paper or notes app aaaand the fun is gone.

!rant
Experienced devs please tell help me.

Learning software development has been a challenge. Many times it's frustrating.

I also learn languages and I find them to share one trait with software development, which is complexity.

At first I looked at languages the way I'm currently doing with software. I'd look in a new language and after decided it's cool to learn it, I would stare at it for a few weeks trying to realize what the heck I was going to do. I wouldn't even know how to get started.

Eventually this stage goes away and I think that is about to happen with me with software.

But then a new challenge would come, which is me not making progress as I wanted. That's sort of happening with me by learning software as well, bit in language I now know how to deal with it.
That's because I work full time with something that isn't in my interests and when I arrive home Im tired and want to relax. So I decided my language learning had to go slower as long as I have this job, meaning no hours spent in front of books or a pc studying - that's what I could do with English, I was a teenager and had 12 hours a day to do whatever I wanted.

So I usually spent 5 minutes here and there learning something in my target language when I can, no frustration needed, my only rule is: practice everyday, even if I don't learn anything new.

With software, that doesn't apply though.

So, what I mean by tracing a parallel between these to fields is that I have a strong conviction is that once you get the principles on how a certain kind of learning works, you can apply it everywhere in the field. But with software it's been harder.
Anyways, I see that are some principles that apply, cause trying to learn software is changinge and teaching a lot of things like:

*you have to read a lot (of documentation) . At first I thought all documentation was painful to read and understand, but I found out some software are well documented and one can use those only to get used with it.

*immersion / discipline are important. I'm not very disciplined, I'm better with immersion but both are important if you need to acquire complex subjects/skills

*how to deal with complexity. I installed Arch Linux a few days ago. Just to install it I ended up reading more than 20 pages of documentation (install guide, Wpa supplicant, systemd, networkd, xorg, etc etc). Gradually I'm realizing that when you have to install/tweak something in that distro you necessarily spend a bunch of time trying to understand how it works, otherwise you don't get too far like in Ubuntu or Debian.

*and lastly the one that bothers me. Constantly getting frustrated and feeling crap about my poor skills. No matter how much I progress, it still seems like I'm stuck.
(that's when I ask your help/opinion :) )

Hotel Vim

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
"This could be Heaven or this could be Hell"
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Vim
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel Vim
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
"Please bring me my wine"
He said, "We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine"
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Vim
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel Vim
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device"
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax, " said the night man,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! "

relax time!

Help me guys, should I attend google code jam or go home?

I am very obsessed when it comes to things I'm developing or making. I can't work on that project or even take a look at it if I have some other things I need to do that day because I know I'm not going to be able to concentrate on anything else if there is something that needs to be added or fixed until I successfully finish it. And I will be very grumpy and aggressive to other people that interrupts my thought train. I understand taking breaks and talking to your coding buddy is a must. But I go absolutely obsessed if I can't figure something out. Which I won't eat nor converse. I will most likely get over this problem of mine eventually but for now devrant is the ideal place for me to relax and get my thoughts together which I am very grateful about ! Keep being awesome.

Working from 7am, to around 9pm every day for the last two weeks..I expect to have still 2 ruff weeks.. New job, searching for an apartment, moving, and finishing development of 3 websites and 2 mobile apps... Fuck me.. Instead of coffee, I just listen xxxtentacion look at me, just to keep me going.. Finish this and I'll probably say no to more projects just to have time to relax

If you want to fucking relax: download "alto's adventure" and play it one hour before bed, in the dark, headphones on, on zen modus.
Calms me the fuck down. It's an app/game.

Windows apparently does reboots for updates n stuff outside your normal time of usage nowadays.
Windows apparently also thinks that your normal usage shouldn't be over 12 hours.
So now i have to decide if I'm more in the mood for random updates in the morning when i need to get shit done (ugh) or at night when i have finally time to relax.

People talking about getting 100 +1's when I haven't even broken the 50 +1's barrier lol everyone should be having fun here, don't worry guys, stress balls will come 😊

Finally implemented my first ANN in my own environment (my own Virus Game). That feeling when have tested everything and it works, so you can just relax and put your feet up and. <3

I have to make a project as task for one interview and have to attend another interview soon. I got my mood ruined real bad because of something personal and I am in a mood right now where I don't wanna give any of the interviews and just wanna relax for a few weeks. What should I do?

Ok, you've got some free time and a folder full of bookmarks to get through the subjects you need for that cert....

....but it has been busy these past few months. One day out of your holiday just to chill and do nothing, then you can get to work....

....you have 9 days. 2 out of the 9 is ok just to relax, it is a holiday after all....

....ok, your going back to work in 2 days and the most you've done is read some semi-related articles that were shared on Twitter. Sort it out....

....24 hours to go, you've essentially done nothing productive. I guess I'll go back to fitting it in at work or convincing myself I'll do it when I get home after a long day.

Anyone else struggle with this? Not just for certs in particular, but just learning in general.

Have to turn the music up so much it hurts my ears because of all the noise here. Drown it out, sure, but now I need to relax, regain focus, the 20th time today. This is bullshit. Totally losing any momentum I had today due to constant interruption.

So as long as my ears are bleeding I figured I would rant a little. shout out to us devs who are not left the fuck alone to do our jobs.

It's a challenge to decide when to stop being a geek and algorithmize everything I see around and instead just sit quietly relax your mind and enjoy the coffee. Fuck me , can my mind have be a simple mind (like the platitude of simple life) sometimes ....

Relax time

When you get co-workers that rant all the time.. They say they know everything but can't seem to do anything right. Can we just relax and have fun at work.