Got a promotion at work, now manager and opening a brand new location for the tech shop.

That means I have 5x the amount of income to help fund my company and tech, I am so happy.

Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click "I agree".

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another.

A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?"

"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer."

"So? What's that got to do with anything?"

"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors".

How do polyglot programmers successfully use languages?

I write code with second languages like how I speak a foreign language (e.g German). I think of what I want to say in English, then translate it to German.

How do my fellow devRanters do it?

A moment of silence to all the python devs that don't get the ++ and -- reference

Sometimes I feel like my wife woke up with a "--verbose" flag on...

Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:

"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"

😅

Hello world

Well, that's obvious :D

Semester break is coming, I want to spend that time making mobile app. Any idea guys?

Devrant is getting more boring day by day. Everytime the same shit. Some people see things that are already rated, and just rerant it. Boring.

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

My work started working on an adult goods site and every once in a while I hear phrases like "Wait, go back to anal", " Can I take a look at sex toys", etc. We're all pretty professional about it, but I still get caught off guard when I hear those convos haha.

!rant
At what point do you know if you're good enough to be a Junior Developper inside a company ?
What are the things you must know and be able to do?
I'm in It for now but my company has multiple Dev teams and I'd like to join them eventually, I know I can Google for that but I'd like real answers not blog bullshit

Yes! you made a difference.[image]
P.S.
started working at a startup as an intern(android app developer), Most of my work is like debugging the code, new feature implementations.
And the codebase is full of this kind of shit(even worse) plus literally zero documentation(not even for API's), not even a single line of comment in complete project(40K-50K), not any unit test/ UI test.
The funniest thing is when I ask for documentation he(boss | *) said: I am documentation.

Me: What do you want?
Client: We don't know exactly
Me: By when do you want it?
Client: Yesterday
🙊🙉🙈

True story.

I have to admit, making JSON API's is a great way to learn a language/framework. You have to deal with so many things that challenge your understanding.

Since I got fired yesterday. I will be spending more ranting!

Got my first real tech job today working as an on-campus computer resource assistant for my university's graduate school in education! Finally making a step in my career path and doing something I will enjoy for a change.

Donald Trumph is a remainder that you should just apply for a job you want even if you don't have the experience!!

Recently joined a team that does Scala development. It's so refreshing I just love the language

My first TrumpScript:
https://github.com/samshadwell/...

A million is 1000000
and one is, million over million;
our great country is, 1000010 minus million;
make immigrants, country times million;

For as long as, we have immigrants greater than one;:

I say immigrants
I say "That wall just got ten feet taller!"

And we have to make immigrants go back, fight immigrants over country;!
say it with me "We made America great again!!"

America is great.

Trump it is...

Just told my Teamleader that I'm going to resign at the end of the month.
He was not amused.

I now understand the double tap feature. It's really useful when your reading devRant while eating.

Am I the only one that does not even consider a freelance job if the description has bad/poor English and/or is written in all caps?

!Rant

Lessons from this picture:
1. Not all opportunities are to be taken. Some are traps.
2. A person can become so determined to destroy another person that they become blind and end up destroying themselves.
3. You fight best in your natural element and environment. Here the bird has advatange in his natural element.
4. Know your limits, we all have them.
5. Sometimes the best response to provocation is not to fight.
6. Sometimes to accomplish something you need team work, you will not always win alone.
7. Stick to what you do best and don't pursue what will kill you.

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

After huge fix

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."