Source: https://instagram.com/p/...

I ... I'm not really sure ? Yesn't ?

those kids...

True AF.

STOP ASKING ME NEW TASKS A MINUTE BEFORE I GO HOME YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

Another mystery solved...

folder sizes...

I don't understand, you pester me to send you an email and stress how it's so important. I send you the email and you don't read it. I remind you about the email days later and you still don't read it. You miss a deliverable because you DIDN'T READ THE FUCKING EMAIL I SENT AND ITS SOMEHOW MY FAULT??!?

Furthermore, you call a meeting after the fact and ask me to read out and explain the contents of the email to you? GTFO you friggin time drain 🖕

"Be friendly to those who enjoy your work and friendlier to those who attack it. " - David Leggett

Me: **Visits website with lots of ads

also Me : ** right clicks on element
** opens chrome inspector
** finds ad element
** deletes element

#LifeHacks

That moment when the client sets the meeting during your lunch hour.

team is hiring interns and one candidate put “googling” on their resume as a skill - appreciate the honesty

God bless JavaScript

Probably been posted here, so I apologize if it's a repost, but gave me a solid laugh, so...

Currently sitting in the lobby for my first interview for my bachelor in computer science.

Graduation is in june.
Wish me luck

Spent a couple hours writing a new feature yesterday, and finished it only to discover that somebody lazily wrote the global method that my feature was utilizing. Emailed them and told them that I completed the feature and asked them to fix the bad method. Figured that I wouldn't commit my code changes until he fixed his method. He proceeds to fix the method, and then completely redoes the feature I ALREADY TOLD HIM THAT I FINISHED. He removed me from the backlog story that I was assigned to and did the feature the exact same way I did. Motherfucker I already told you that it was done, you just needed to fix your lazy shitty global method. You did twice the work and wasted my time. If you wanted credit for your work, that's fine -- you could've created a new story to fix your method. Now I've wasted hours of my time writing a feature and then reverting the changes because you couldn't follow directions

my habit to inspect any nicely done apps to understand how they achieve such greatness, I never felt more welcome when I visit the console, until i found Quizlet.

great place to leave easter eggs.. :)

And the story continues....

Now, instead of shouting, I can just type "fuck"

The Fuck is a magnificent app that corrects errors in previous console commands.

inspired by a @liamosaur tweet
https://twitter.com/liamosaur/...

Some gems:

➜ apt-get install vim
E: Could not open lock file /var/lib/dpkg/lock - open (13: Permission denied)
E: Unable to lock the administration directory (/var/lib/dpkg/), are you root?

➜ fuck
sudo apt-get install vim [enter/↑/↓/ctrl+c]
[sudo] password for nvbn:
Reading package lists... Done
...
➜ git push
fatal: The current branch master has no upstream branch.
To push the current branch and set the remote as upstream, use

git push --set-upstream origin master

➜ fuck
git push --set-upstream origin master [enter/↑/↓/ctrl+c]
Counting objects: 9, done.
...
➜ puthon
No command 'puthon' found, did you mean:
Command 'python' from package 'python-minimal' (main)
Command 'python' from package 'python3' (main)
zsh: command not found: puthon

➜ fuck
python [enter/↑/↓/ctrl+c]
Python 3.4.2 (default, Oct 8 2014, 13:08:17)
...
➜ git brnch
git: 'brnch' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

Did you mean this?
branch

➜ fuck
git branch [enter/↑/↓/ctrl+c]
* master
➜ lein rpl
'rpl' is not a task. See 'lein help'.

Did you mean this?
repl

➜ fuck
lein repl [enter/↑/↓/ctrl+c]
nREPL server started on port 54848 on host 127.0.0.1 - nrepl://127.0.0.1:54848
REPL-y 0.3.1
...

Get fuckked at
https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck

Customer support story time: (swearing in Dutch because it sounds more fun but it's general swearing so no translation needed I think (will translate the non obvious parts)

Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: hello, I have a question for you.
Me: go ahead!
Client: alright so.... one sec, let me turn off my music.
Client: hey Google
.
.
.
Client: hey Google
.
Client: Heeeey Gooooooogle
.
Client: HEY GOOGLE, GODVERREDOMME
.
Me: 😆
.
Client: REAGEER GODVERDOMME. "HEY GOOOOGLE"
.
.
Client: VIES VUIL TYFUS DING, LUISTEREN. HEEEEEY GOOOOOOGLE
.
.
Client: JA GODVERREROMME, LUISTER GEWOON, FUCKING KUT DING. *SHOUTS WITH ANGRY VOICE* "HEY GOOGLE HALLOOOO LUISTEEEEEREEEEEN" (oh for fucks sake, LISTEN fucking piece of shit)
Me: *desperately trying to keep it together*
Client: IK DOE HET ZELF WEL JEZUS GODDOMME *FOOTSTEPS, MUSIC STOPS* (Translation: I'll do it myself, fucking hell)
.
.
.
Client: finally, sorry for that 😅
Me: *still trying to control myself* no problem!

Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

!rant, HTML is the toughest

Pretty much how I feel as a software developer when someone asks me why their printer doesn't work. 😂

Just placed an order in a local store, they sent me some automatic confirmation mail with the salutation being "Best regards, Daemon".. Imagine someone who doesn't use Linux reading that 🤣

All time favorite,

After nearly 30 years developing, I've seen plenty of irrelevant job emails, but this one shows I can still be surprised! I'm struggling to think what in my profile could even come close to matching me for this role.

I can't believe I missed this email.

I never thought I was a highly opinionated person (read: elitist) until I realized it bothered me that my coworker prefers low-profile rubber dome keyboards to mechanical ones. I'm going on a journey for personal growth this week.

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."