Me : The website renewal bill is up and it will due in 30 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 14 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 7 days

Client : Sleep

Me : Last notice, it'll be dead tommorow if we dont pay today

Client : Sleep

*website dies*

Me : F

Client the day after suspension : Hey, we can't access the site.

Me : Play dead

***

I think i should say "email service will die if you don't pay the renewal bill" instead

based on how quick they react when shit stopped working

How to make your employee suffer, drive them insane and having suicide tendency 101.

Delay the paycheck for 18 days but still asking about task progress like a normal day. Like nothing happened.

I can't pay water and electricity bills that due in 3 days, can't buy medicine,
can't buy gas for the bike,
next week i'm not gonna be able to buy food

The good thing is, i still got the internet, i can look for new jobs and play some games to forget how shit my life right now while the electricity lasts.

Disclaimer
I have no suicide tendency, just to make it more hiperbolic 🤣

The performance is based on how much code you wrote that day.

Not mine though, i heard/read it from somewhere else.

But that’s fucked up, right?

1. Kill Internet Explorer
2. Kill anyone who sell their web/app/design services cheaply that broke the market value
3. Kill anyone who want something in exchange of "exposure" or "you'll get the money when we get funding or IPO" or some shit like that, you name it.

Create a html page on paper, a simple form.

That part was easy.

The hard part was to create the ajax submit function with the validation, jquery is ok.

Failed the test because no way i can remember those shit.

That was 6 years ago

Inline CSS with !important

Always bothered by mobile devs to make them icons and splash screens with different sizes for android and ios

So i made them a script that resizes one big png file into multiple icons and splash screens they need that can run via terminal

They never coming to me again since then

WTF freelancer, just won a design contest and it’s so fucking hard to withdraw the money to my bank account.

“There is some invalid bank details in your withdraw request, please confirm with your bank”

I never withdraw money before so i have to wait 15 days for my first withdrawal for each withdrawal methods.

The first method (express withdrawal with no fees) was failed because the bank details issue, talk with the cs and they told me to confirm to my bank, confirmed and tried again (only 1 or 2 days waiting time) but still failed, been trying this 3 times.

Trying the second method a.k.a wire transfer, i have confirmed the bank about what details are required to receive money from overseas first so i can prevent some stupid errors.

Wait another 15 days and ...

STILL FAILED WITH SAME PROBLEM

FUCK

This is the first time i regret when i won something.

ＦＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵ

I got an instruction to follow exactly what the client wants with the design i have made because they are also a “designer” and guess what

A nissan juke just got transformed into fucking fiat multipla

As long the client happy i must deal with it even it against my will

So sad and mad looking my design becoming something else

Thankfully there’s DevRant to relieve this emotion 🤣

Don’t worry, I’ll comeback...
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When i need to download chrome after fresh install

P.S. not mine, i stole it from the internet using chrome

Vendor : “We’ll implement blockchain technology in your website!”

P.S. I stole this pic from the internet

Arguing with my colleague that i already fix the damn bug

I forgot to push it

6 hours of weekly progress report meeting in client’s office EVERY FUCKING FRIDAY.

Yes it’s a progress report meeting that can be done via email or skype

Yes it takes 6 hours

When we go to the meeting, we have
1. The boss
2. The 1% PM + 99% sales guy
3. The secretary who document everything in that meeting
4. Me as a dev

The only thing i do is to answer “yes, that’s technicaly possible” or “no, that’s stupid” when the client ask for some features or changes.

Sometimes i’m just being an accessory in that meeting.

It was years ago before i quit and become a designer 👌🏼

I’m saving money to buy sketch, but guess what...

Adobe XD is free now 👌🏼

“You want to survive and steps ahead from the others when you grow up? Learn english” - my dad

I’m from wkwkland and holy fuck it’s true.

Just watched sam and niko youtube channel’s latest video about a bug/feature in windows when you do this:

1. Create a new folder
2. Put a file or two or more inside it
3. Select all those files
4. Right click and send to compressed (zip)
5. Press ctrl+z
6. That folder and its contents disappears to another dimension

🤯

Here is the video link btw https://youtu.be/YY5zfbDlSMs

The website i made has been hacked today.

Stored in their server.

They didnt give me an access for it.

The user account in the cms i used for updating content while building the website was revoked when the website is completed.

Now they ask me for the latest backup.

I have no backup because how the hell i do a backup when i got no access to the cpanel.

The only backup is the zip file for initial uploading into their server and the contents were added after the website is on their server.

That goddamn IT guy who wont give me any access for “securty sake” is calling me furiously asking for the backup and how to set up the stuffs from the beginning.

I thought he was the one who know his shit but i was wrong.

Fuck me?

No.

Fuck you.

But i still responding to him telling him step by step how to do shit with some swearing and sarcasm.

ALWAYS BACKUP YOUR SHITS, MATE

Testing an attendace machine API one by one so i know what does what.

And there’s an API for wiping all the attendance data stored in the machine.

I didn’t realize it until i push the damn button.

The attendance machine just become fresh like new 😱😨😰

Shit.

A testing session just become an extreme sport.

Thankfully the IT guy has a backup but just up to last month.

Well, it’s better than nothing isn’t it?

He just tell his boss that the machine was run out of memory and the attendance data for the current month were not saved.

And he ask him to buy me some machine for testing.

Yes, i was living on the edge by testing in the production machine.

When my poorly drawn character moves when i press the arrow keys.

The ski game on windows 95/98 (i cant remember).

When client requesting something, it has to be done ASAP.

But when i ask about the payment...

I must sign some documents declaring the job was done

The documents then must be sent to manager

The manager must create another document to be sent to finance division

The finance sent that thing to director to sign the damn document so finance can make a payment

Oh shit the first document before i start the project went missing, i have no idea why they need that

Some weeks has been passed till today

Cant find the document

Recreate the document

I must sign it back but they said no worries, we can advance to next step so i can get paid today

Manager creates a document

Manager sent that document into finance

Oh shit the financial division is having some seminar, its friday so it will be processed on monday

WTF

What a great way to start your day and begin your fucking 2018

The cat just pissed on my laptop (it’s a macbook air)

Wet af

Stink af

Dried the fucking wet stink af laptop

It still works

But the fans gone crazy and slow af

Trying to reset the smc stuff

Nothing changes, still retarded

I want to open the bottom case but i dont have the screw driver

With its fucking limited 128gb storage i store my shits in cloud storages like google drive, dropbox and mega and my projects are stored in bitbucket so nothing to lose

Me : 1 vs Cat : 1

To my beloved cat:
I work hard using this damn laptop to provide food and home for you and you just take a piss on it.

My december salary is delayed for a year (i’ll get paid around 2 or 3 january).

This broke af fireworks pic is how my new year looks like.

P.S Pic is stolen from facebook

move on from php to learn javascript

Debt, bills, etc.

Web version of whatsapp requires your phone to work, my phone is dead, fuck me.

They should spend money to make the web version better instead of dat stories shit that no one use

Telegram is blocked in my country 😭
The web version is no longer accessible but the mobile app still available, but it just a matter of time

bad, now im just your friendly neighbor web designer

Ied mubarak holiday for a week ends today, tommorow i must go to work 😭

The website load time is so fucking slow!!
FIX IT!!

And i saw the images they uploaded was a jupiter-sized images.

It's the devs fault for not making validation.

But me, as a designer must help them resize those fucking already uploaded images to be web-friendly.