Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "well"
-
*client calls in*
Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: my ip is blocked, could you unblock it for me?
Me: certainly! What's your ip address? Then I'll have a look.
Client: I'm not giving you my ip?! That's too privacy sensitive.
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: sir, I'm very keen on my privacy myself but without that information I can't do much for you 😬
Client: ah so you're refusing to help me?
Me: not like that, it's just very hard to lift an ip block for me when I don't know the ip address.
Client: you just don't want to help, fine.
*click*
😶32 -
Microsoft support: "Your antivirus software is causing problems with the memory management."
Me: "I use Windows defender"
Microsoft support: "Oh..."
Me: 🙃13 -
Boss decided to limit Wi-Fi access only to company computers.
Ended up blocking everyone, including himself.10 -
We recently hired a fronted dev and she got confident enough to suggest we use nodejs, my literal reply:
We hired you so we would not have to deal with JavaScript.
Should see her face 😂17 -
My company contracted a 3rd party to do an internal system for us...
We only knew about it when it was almost done and we got the code... Oooooo boy.... What a fucking shit they did and got paid for...
They have a encryptPassword() and decryptPassword() functions...
What they do you may ask?
Well...
Encrypt: for loop that reverse the string and base64 it 5 times...
Decrypt: the opposite...
That's how they store passwords....
Our intern snapped at a company meeting when they where talking about maintaining it 😂😂22 -
Overheard some family members talking about me during a vacation about 3 years ago...
aunt: why is he that way?
cousin: he spent too much time on the computer while he was younger.
aunt: that's bad.
yeah.. now I make more than both of you and don't give a shit about you anymore, thanks 👍6 -
Ahahaha I don't know if I cry or laugh..
I slept 1 hour today, woke up, left the kid at school came back home planning on sleeping another 2 hours and coming to work.
Took a shower and remembered I had an important meeting by 8:30 am and it was already 8:10 ... Ran like fucking crazy , ate an orange for breakfast ran like a lunatic in traffic just to arrive at work by 8:34 and be told the meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon...
Had to smile to who rescheduled the meeting right now writing this rant :)
Now... Who the fuck sends an email at 00:02 to reschedule a fucking meeting??
Fuck.14 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
What is the point in separating us into backend/frontend developers if everyone has to learn/do everything?
And now this FUCKING DUMBASS that is leaving!!! The company convinced my FUCKING STUPID boss to start using react with nodejs on the new platforms ...
Did anyone think about talking to the fucking devops that maintain the fucking deployments about this????
By the way, this sucker is me.
And now I have one month to: deploy a new app... ALONE!! learning fucking react (please kill me) and probably merge it in a clusterfuck of unseparated backend/frontend because fuck it.
Oh, and figure out a way to make deployment automated and easy for me at least.
I'm about to rant in real life...7 -
Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.
Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:
- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.
I wanted to copy some backup data over again:
1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.
2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.
3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.
4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.
5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.
This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.
FUCK.39 -
https://google.com”f people near me wanted to show me something.
Person: Check out this zero-day exploit! I hacked into the system using a cloud-based cryptographically secure MD5 hash finite automata firewall HTML code API!
Me: Erm...what exactly did you hack?
Person: *shows screen while smirking*
It was a shell simulator website running “ping https://google.com”7 -
Just figured out that a server configuration I made about 3 months ago resulted in one of our main sites being offline.
No one fucking noticed it.
For 3 fucking months.
Amen.6 -
Well apparently my compression algorithm actually made the file bigger. Back to the drawing board I guess?8
-
First day on the phone as a support guy!
Before the first call came in I thought like 'please no email related issues as that's the one thing I suck at!'
Fair enough, first call:
Me: hello, how can I help you?
Customer: well, we've got this email problem...
Me thinking: MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK WHY ME 😭
Me: what seems to be the problem?
Damn, really?!9 -
So we where given a project with a deadline already set behind our backs and we have to give our deadline despite not knowing wtf we have to do exactly ...
They asked us to don't ask too much time because the budget can't afford too much time...
I'm here thinking: WTF?!
THEY PASSED A FUCKING DEADLINE AND PRICES TO THE FUCKING CLIENT WITHOUT ASKING ANY! ANY MOTHERFUCKING DEV ABOUT IT!!!
We asked them so many fucking questions on the first meeting that they were fucking baffled about everything but kept playing cool like "well, this project is already set and we are gonna have to deal with it"
Bunch of motherfucking stupid cock suckers , go die agonizing on your own vomit and if ask my help I'm gonna answer "well, you gonna have to deal with it because you are already fucked"2 -
We've started a new betting system in our office. Every time you lose a bet, you have to optimize atleast one project for Internet Explorer 😂8
-
AAAAAAHHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!
THE LAST 20 MINUTES WERE THE CRINGIEST OF MY LIFE!!!
THIS COWORKER TYPES AND CLICKS SO SLOWLY!!! JUST FUUUCK YOU MY FUCKING 9 YEARS OLD CLICKS A FUCKING MOUSE FASTER THEN YOU MOTHER FUCKEEEEER!!!!!
I almost lost my fucking patience this time...8 -
MOTHERFUCKING MICROSOFT!!! JUST SEND ME THIS FUCKING EMAIL !!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? EVERY FUCKING TIME IT TAKES TOOOOOOO MUUUUUCH TIME TO RECEIVE ANY FUCKING CONFIRMATION EMAIL!!! ITS FUCKING 2017 ALREADY GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT8
-
My face when a customer cancels the order to develop an online shop for them, just to instead build the shop on their own using a 5€/mo webpage builder.
The fuck?3 -
How can people be so fucking stupid?
Imagine I made a program with two buttons, one that says "click here for x" and the other that says "click here for y" and they are asking me where to click for x.. Really mother fucker? Do you really have a PhD? Might me a PhD on retardness!! fuck you, I'm on vacation...7 -
Every fucking time its the same shit:
Our nontechnical managers meet with the client and try to pass technical requirements to us..
These pieces of shit don't get that this only makes things worse.
Making everyone waste fucking time trying to understand requirements that would be a lot fucking easier if any of us were is any fucking meeting.
But nooooo... We have to fucking be the whole team in fucking meetings with these cock suckers so they can realize they didn't get shit and the back and forth bullshit begins:
We ask questions
They don't know
They schedule meeting with client
They ask their moronic way
The client answers
They schedule meeting with us
We ask questions...
And this fucking loop goes on for-fucking-EVER!
Fuuuuuuck this!!7 -
Installing a new Debian VM/VPS.
Nearly done with all steps and decide to lay down.
Fall asleep and wake up half an hour later.
The grub option is on screen.
I am sleepy as fuck.
Accidently selected the manual option and just pressed enter at the screen where I have to enter the device name.
FUCK.
Well, let's install this fucker again.7 -
"Well, how hard could it be to do it in this impossible deadline?"
Well ... HOW ABOUT I STICK A LAMP POST UP YOUR ASS? HOW HARD COULD IT BE? YOU JUST STAY STILL AND I PUSH HARD ENOUGH, RIGHT?!12 -
Two thousand fucking eighteen people!!!!
Stop this non sense "get a plane" for a fucking meeting that could be a fucking video conference.
Wtf? Everyone here seems to be addicted to flying, specially upper management... And if we need a new switch to keep the network running? Oh, for that we have no money :)4 -
3 fucking years already that I introduced fucking git in this company and people still fail to grasp the fucking basics... Wtf?
If you push a fucking change wait for the fucking message ... If a fucking fail message appears telling you to pull before pushing to remote, just don't ignore it... Wtf... I can tell it is the case just by looking at the message template, I don't even need to read the motherfucker...
And its not that they are stupid, those are smart motherfuckers we are talking about...24 -
Management knows shit about managing.
They ask us to do x and one month later they have the first meeting to discuss it... They didn't even plan it, only asked.
Its like asking a hamburger at Mc Donalds and letting the kind of hamburger for when it arrives:
"Hey, I want a hamburger"
Mc. Employee: "Which one , sir?"
"Doesn't matter, when it arrives we decide about it, just go on, chop chop"5 -
No boss... For the fucking millionth time: unit tests are not a waste of time.
You keep testing everything manually and hoping that you tested everything every time and praying that there are no bugs IS THE FUCKING TIME WASTE
My boss just can't fucking wrap his head around automated tests... I'm trying hard... Gonna try harder...6 -
TL;DR
Management eats shit for breakfast
Context:
I am the sole Dev on a project.
Stack: Postgresql, redis, nginx,Java with Spring Boot, Neo4j.
I am the only one nearly familiar with : Redis, Neo4j and anything Java.
I'm gonna be on vacation for the next 15 days since they have told me that we where gonna be on a "testing/feedback" period.
My vacation was approved.
Today's meeting: we have a URGENT deadline to meet some criteria that might be the difference between have further investment or not.
Urgent deadline: last day of my vacation.
My face: poker
My thoughts: attached image4 -
So I just got out of a meeting where "like a YouTube for x" and "it isn't that complicated, just storing videos, documents, etc..."
Were used in the same sentence.
I'm already updating my resume.4 -
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WITH POINTLESS MEETINGS ABOUT WHAT METHODOLOGIES YOU GONNA USE TO GET THE FUCKING DATA????
JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING DATA AFTER YOU DISCUSS THIS SHIT AND TELL WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO DO WITH IT!!!
FUCKING WASTING MY FUCKING TIME AND WANTING SHIT TO BE DONE! WHAT THE FUCK!5 -
So... an Italian government website published sensitive data of thousand of citizens, because they thought that it was enough to turn white the text color in order to anonymize the sensitive content of the files. Italy, 2019.
Source (in Italian):
https://wired.it/internet/regole/...7 -
I need a break.
A break from stress of endless expectations
From school
From work
From being made fun of
From criticism
From criticizing myself
From not being able to do fun things
From vague instructions
From a lack of sleep
from inconsistency.
From unclear objectives
From financial/medical/emotional stress
From life
From hatred
From destruction of my emotional stability
From a lack of confidence
From unfulfilled decisions
From trying to hide under a mask
From jealousy
From lists
From repetitive obliteration of any hope I have
From me crap talking myself
From pleasing people
Oh well, at least after tomorrow, I’m on full-time break...12 -
Job title :
"PHP and MySQL Programmer"
Job description :
"We are looking for a Flash Developer with a high level of proficiency developing ActionScript solutions.... bla bla Development in a 2D and 3D environment"
doesnt say ANYWHERE what is require to know in php nor mysql
EDIT: actually it does but why would they put php and mysql programmer if thats not the main things they are looking for6 -
Laziest dev thing I've ever done.
An annoying "I-do-nothing-but-delegate-and-make-fuzz" manager proposed to create a new application with redundant functionalities, that would take me at least half a year to build.
Practically, the app would never be used and I didn't want to put effort in that monstrosity.
So, naturally I...
Pressure the right people, schedule numerous meetings, become the project manager for all internal applications and... I cancel the project.4 -
Let me just delete this symbolic link and leave it copying the folder to the ssd real quick while I go to lunch...
Lessons learned:
1 - don't put a fucking / at the end of `rm -rf /path/to/link`
2 - don't ignore the warning of it being a folder after trying to `rm /path/to/link`
3 - backup your fucking dev database too
4 - don't do stuff hungry
SHIT!! FUCK!!3 -
Almost a year since I started my current job and every day I struggle to make things better, from introducing git to introducing a testing server to moving to git lab to introducing backup policies on the servers and so on....
And the more I struggle to improve everyone's experience at work it looks like im trying to explain physics to toddlers because I can see that although everything is waaaay better now everything is just gonna crumble once I'm gone.4 -
Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!
I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.19 -
Me: -gets in Uber hoping it will be a quiet ride-
Uber: hey
Me: hey
Uber: So, uh, what do you do?
Me: Oh I'm a software developer.
Uber: Ooohhhh. So you can make the next Uber/Careem if I were to ask you right!?
Me:4 -
Some years ago I was fixing this lady's computer and I had to change her monitor and she asked: but will I lose my files?5
-
Fuck you stupid cunt!!!! If your fucking project depends on empty folder structure just put a fucking gitignore file on it so I don't have to waste all fucking day debugging your tasteless spaghetti to figure out that you download files to an empty folder that git clone doesn't create.3
-
Spent two days debugging my algo to figure it was a problem with the colors they picked and my logic was fucking flawless!
Sweetest feeling ever :D
I'm sort of color blind so I never check colors and I'm really straight about it with everyone: I don't pick colors.
Its a rant with a happy ending :)6 -
Last week one of my non-dev coworkers asked if any of us knew java and I was like "yeah, think I can help you" then she showed me her JavaScript issue and I was like:
"Wtf, people really do this shit..." -
I'm home sick for 4 days now and I'm starting to become paranoid about being replaced because I caught one front end dev watching Spring Boot videos on Friday.
I'm the only one who works with it there.
Not feeling well.22 -
I'm yet to meet someone who opens links in new tabs using the mouse wheel button or Ctrl+ click.
Literally everybody I know right clicks and them clicks "open in new tab".
Is this really something nobody does? Am I crazy? what's going on?
What do you think?30 -
WTF BOSS?
STOP WRITING THESE FUCKING OBVIOUS SQL INJECTABLE CODE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!!!
BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!3 -
Hey boss, I see you working saturday 11pm updating these fucking cards...
That is why you manage to "do the impossible" , get a life dude... go be with your wife and "soon to be" kid.
Damn, no wonder he always says the deadline is possible.2 -
Writing bad code has its perks.
Whenever you are hungry you only have to write a few lines of code and you get some spaghetti3 -
Why its so hard to understand that - not always... - frontend devs will give you a sweet ui with medium back end and back end devs are gonna give you a medium ui with sweet back end?
Why can't we just do what nature made us good for and work in collaboration?
Fuck7 -
Quick update on Brazil distribution strike
We are out of gas.
Airports stopped.
Government might call the army.
We might run out of water by Tuesday.
We are too much dependant on fossil fuels... Wtf?
https://devrant.com/rants/1428498/...12 -
So I studied for a long time about scrum, convinced my boss, his boss and our team to consider it, everyone liked it but seems to don't understand it very well.
I organized meetings about it and everything...
This week the majority of our team will attend a Google event about scrum in another city.
Guess who is not going?11 -
OMFG I think I've just experienced my first shock for 10 seconds after watching my boss looking for a tab on chrome that had Google opened so he could paste the searching string.
-
Hey boss, I see you are on a rampage with those trello cards, they all flying to the done list... How about you push to gitlab at least once a week too?
You gonna have to deal with the conflicts alone you dumb fuck :)1 -
Last meeting I suggested we started using unit test and perhaps TDD on our platforms.
My boss is open to it and everyone seems to like the idea...
Now I just discovered that our dumbass coworker is trying to say by my back that its a bad idea to double the code efforts and that he sees no point in it...
Well dumbass cock sucker who can't even fucking remember how to write `docker-compose up` without messing things up you can fuck your self because you are certainly gonna be fucked sideways untill the end of the year.4 -
That's an impressive algorithm there, cdkeys. You found nothing in 2ms.
Well done.
Well.
Done.
*slow clap*2 -
TL;DR age != competence
My boss is a fucking computer illiterate self taught programmer.
Don't get me wrong, he can do shit, pretty shitty but it gets done...
But the dude has 38 fucking years old and somehow still searches for keys on the fucking keyboard and struggles to touch type anything...
I sometimes crying the fuck out when I have to help him with something...
I'm having a mini fucking panic attack right now just thinking of it... Fuck
He is our "manager" but doesn't even have the fucking balls to confront his own subordinates when they need to be confronted... Everyone is aware of this and everyone is fucking around... And no one sees any consequences... I wonder why deadlines are always missed...
He is so passive that every fucking thing someone asks he goes and says it is OK...
I was studying same psychology about ignorance and I think he lacks the understanding that shit is hard to do...
We literary had a conversation the other day something like that:
Boss: so, what do you think? One call to the api for it to return all data or multiple calls to return smaller ones?
Me: well... It takes ~180ms just for latency to the server for one call, if you have 10 calls it will take 180*10ms, it is better if we have one call and cache it if necessary on the backend.
( he has no fucking clue wtf caching is, besides browser cache)
Boss: (looking confuse AS FUCK!!) Well, I don't get it... Maybe I'll test it later.
Me thinking: test how you dumb motherfucker? On you fucking workstation with no fucking latency?
There is no fucking test. I'm stating it. IT IS A FUCKING FACT!
Me: well, it takes that for the call to go to the api and come back , its simple math. 1 == 180, 10 == 1800.
Suit yourself.7 -
I love my notebook but still...
Fuck you to the person at Lenovo who thought that it would be a great idea to support 16gb of ram and then put 4gb internal ram into it.
I can add an 8gb stick to it, totalling at 12gb. There are no 12gb sticks (as far I am aware of) so yeah, fuck 16gb "supported" by the mainboard, 12 is the maximum.5 -
So we have this HUGE ass project , really challenging , that my boss and "PM" have been meeting with the client for months now...
I got on board , guess what?
NO ONE HAVE A FUCKING CLUE ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT!!!!!
ALL FUCKING GENERIC REQUIREMENTS!!! WHAT THE FUUUCK!!!
[ insert fucking pitch screaming!!!! ]
FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!1 -
Success to me is silence. No phone calls, no emails, no "why doesn't this work?"
It's when you made something that works in the background, almost invisibly, that others could take for granted but that they also don't bother you with because it is still working as designed.1 -
So I just got this email from a tech company, I registered to send my CV some years ago , about a dev Job openning.
The descripition included:
Java and Angular ( first red flag )
So I go to their site to check it out ...
No https, ping the domain returns an ip from another continent with 500+ ms latency.
Major flaws on the site usability...
Super dumb password recovery method...
I'm fucking outta here dude. I might send them a proposition to fix their servers and at least put it behind letsencrypt though...
And these morons have big clients, like my bank... wtf...4 -
Everyday I fell my soul being sucked by this job.
We have too much liberty and it's all scattered, every fucking project uses a different framework.
Everything is a mess, no one seems to care and I'm feeling like shit for being the only one that seems to care.
Every time I start job hunting I fell depressed because of this nonsense bullshit they call job requirements.
Just wanna run away from this mess and never look back.13 -
Fuck sake :(
So I just checked my bank to find out I'm in an extra £300 debt because my fucking letting agency took my rent AFTER I MOVED IT FOR £98 BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.
Why the fuck is the world throwing turd after steaming turd at me, first the streets, then family, then job, then debt, now a constant barrage of shit. Just feel like ending it now so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, fuck the human race and the shithole upside down society they've made :'(5 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!
HOW CAN SOMEONE BE A FREELANCER/WEB DEV AND TYPE SO FUCKING SLOW AND HAVE TROUBLE WITH FUCKING LETTERS ALL THE TIME?!
I'm gonna push this mother fucker so hard that he will learn not to "lie" in an interview never again and become a fucking dev.5 -
Continuation from :
https://devrant.io/rants/835693/...
Hi everybody! I am sorry that as a first time poster I am building 2 long stories, but I really like the idea of connecting with other people here!
Well, as I was mentioning before, I got a job in Android development and had a blast with it. Me and the developer clicked and would spend our time discussing PHP, the move to other stacks (I was making him love the idea of Django or Spring Java) games, bands and cool stuff like that. This dude was my hero, his own stack was developed in a similar MVC fashion that he had implemented from scratch before for many projects. It was through him that I learned how to use my own code (rather than frameworks and other libraries) to build what I wanted. I seriously thought that I had it made with a position that respected me and placed me in the lead mobile development position of the company. Then it happened. He had taken 2 weeks of unauthorized leave, which was ok since he was best friends with the owner of the company, those 2 along another asshole started it so they could do whatever they wanted. And I could not make much progress without him being there since there were things that he needed to do, that I was not allowed, for me to continue. When he came back I was quickly rushed to the owner of the company's office to discuss my lack of progress. The lead developer was livid, as if he knew that he had fucked up. He blamed the whole thing on me (literally told the owner that it was my fault before I was summoned) and that we lost 2 weeks of business time because I did not had the initiative to make progress on my own. I felt absolutely horrible, someone that I had trusted and befriended doing something like that, I really felt like shit. I had mad respect and love for this guy. It got heated, I showed the owner the text messages in which I showed him my pleas to led me finish the parts that were needed while he was away. Funny enough, he acted betrayed. After that it was 3 months of barely talking to one another except for work related stuff. He got cold and would barely let me touch the internal code that he was developing. It was painful. The owner kept complaining about progress and demanded that I do a document scanner for the company, which was to be attached to their mobile application. Not only that but it had to be done with OpenCV. Now, CV is great, but it is its own area, it takes a while to be able to develop something nice with it that is efficient and not a shitstorm.
I had two weeks.
Finished in one. After burning my brain and ensuring that the c++ code was not giving issues and the project was steady I turned it in...to their dismay. And I say so because I felt that they gave me such a huge project with the intention of firing me if it was not done. After that it was constant shit from the owner and the lead developer. I was asked then to port the code to the IOS version. I had some knowledge of it already so I started working on it. Progress was fast since the initial idea was already there and I really love working on Apple devices. And when I was 70% done the owner decided to cut me loose. At first he cited things such as lack of funding and him being unable to pay my salary. I was fine with that even though I knew it was not true. So at the time I just nodded and thanked the company for my time there. Before I left, he decided to blame it on me, stating that if they were not producing money that it was perhaps my fault. I lost my shit, and started using my military voice to explain to him how a software company is normally ran. Then I stormed out.
It was known to me, that the lead developer had actually argued against me being laid off. And that he was upset about it, we made amends, but the fact remains that I was laid off because the owner did not think of me as an asset, regardless of how many times I worked alongside the lead developer or how valuable I was actually to the company, their infrastructure did get better while we worked together, so I just assumed that he never actually did any mention of my value.
I lasted 2 months without a job, feeling horribly shitty because my wife had to work harder to ensure our stability whilst I was without any sort of salary. At this time I had already my degree, so all I had to do was look better. In the meantime I decided to study more about other technologies. I learn React, and got way better at JS and Node that I thought I could and was finally able to get another job as a full stack developer for another company.
I have been here since 2 months. It has been weird, we do classic ASP, which is completely pointless at this time, but meh. At this time though, I just don't really have the same motivation. Its really hard for me to trust the people that I work with and would like to connect with more developers.21 -
My female coworkers ranting about "how can their partners be so stupid" on "never buying what they where asked for".
I explain to them some actions they might be doing that if done to me has the same effect like :
- asking for something and then start a non stop conversation about something else...
They look at me with a "how can you men be so ridiculous" face and say something like that...
I answer: well, try not doing those things next time and see if it helps.
They are gonna ignore me and keep living their lives without realising that men and women are fucking different...
Go girls.6 -
boss: we should map all the possible ways to do things in the system so we can test them and make sure we fix the bugs.
Me: yeah, well, that is exactly what automated tests are for, every time we find a non-mapped way that breaks this we make a test out of it and fix, this ways we end up mapping the majority of ways.
Boss: yeah,yeah ... Let's sit down latter and map everything on a document.
I bet my ass we are never gonna have tests as a part of our workflow.3 -
Now I know for sure that my coworkers can't read error messages.
Every fucking time git doesn't push or pull properly they can't figure out what's going on, almost one year since we migrated to git ... come on... read the fucking message!7 -
Some old couple screaming I was a liar and a thief because I told them their HDD needed to be exchanged because I wasn't able to install any OS on it... It kept failing on every CD / pen drive I used but it worked with the other store... I left them screaming alone outside the store after telling them to have a good day with a poker face...5
-
My boss keeps trying new tech with important new projects instead of trying the fucking new things with anything other than important shit.
I support this let's try better options approach but cmon, be rational about it.2 -
I just realized something in my work place, I'm the only one beside the intern (lol) on my team who is proficient in english.
I was helping a coworker debug some issues and she couldn't understand the OBVIOUS error message telling her precisely wtf was wrong and the exact line...
I know something for sure... In our area English is basic, learn it or gtfo. I might as well conduct half the interviews in English from now on.4 -
Parked the car in a parking lot 15 mins before job interview. Plenty of time to spare.
Go to pay for parking.
Ticket machine doesn't accept cards. Fine, I have notes.
Ticket machine doesn't accept notes. Shit, I need to go get change quick.
FUCKING FUCKER DOESN'T ACCEPT £1 COINS WELL WHAT THE FUCK TO YOU ACCEPT THEN YOU FUCKING FUCK I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR MY JOB INTERVIEW OR GET A £80 FUCKING PARKING FINEundefined fucking parking fucking job interview fucking pound coins interview went quite well actually9 -
20 minutes trying to convince my boss (lead dev) that dynamically create tables on DB based on file name to store uploaded json content isn't a good design approach and he is still convinced that 500 lines will really impact performance that much on one table and that this is the best design...
Based on this approach, he wants to create another table with the user who last modified and the "fk" (not sure if he even knows what this is cause none of the fks here point to anything...) would be the table name... now I know where those hideous tables we have here come from...
Don't know if I laugh or cry...3 -
"How well we communicate is determined not by how well we say things, but how well we are understood." - Andrew Grove
-
Introduced git in work about 5 months ago, explained to my coworkers how it works, shared links to tutorials, git pro book and everything imaginable.
Almost every day I learn something new ... they keep struggling to checkout a branch or resolve some simple conflict...
I'm just tired of explaining things...
Now I just go and fix every thing and learn a lot :)8 -
So my dumbass coworker did it again.
He included 600kb to the initial load of one of our platforms to use ONE FUCKING CSS CLASS!!! Wtf man?3 -
Well done, T-Mobile!
They have an iOS app to handle contract stuff. That app integrates their shop system via an internal browser.
The shop notifies me, that the used browser is not supported by the shop...
Oh and the browser is an embedded safari on iOS 12.5 -
I secretly wish everything at work fails because everyone is so fucking stupid every time it makes me cringe when I have to talk to someone or watch someone explaining something to me.
Everything seems to lack planning and focus, our PMS act more like clients than like managers, its a total fucking mess and I have to clean some of it this week.
It's getting so much on my nerves that I had to open my whiskey for the first time this year, damn. -
family: oh cmon, how hard it can be
me: what do you mean
family: youre just sitting in front of that pc all day
me: yeah, thats how we ...
family: youre not working! youre sitting in one place the whole day2 -
Spent the last 15 days deep into Golang and suddenly I stumbled upon Buffalo (https://github.com/gobuffalo)
Damn, it is fucking awesome.
Just wanted to share it. -
sometimes we try to make things better and realize people just want the same old non functional bloated shit...
-
That feeling when a company HR person (recruiter) tells you after your interview that this has been the best interview so far and you have made her day
:)7 -
I always tried not to judge people based on their location of birth/live but damn, these motherfuckers at work are making it hard.1
-
No, brain. I don't need to know Python.
Shut up, you already know Ruby, PHP, and a fuckton of front-end tech, you don't need to --
Do you remember the 3 projects that we aren't working on anymore because we have the PS4 and Assassin's Creed?
I already have a job, moron! It sounds fun, but we...
What am I doing on codecademy?2 -
A little back story:
A dev who left already implemented a system and modeled the data like he doesn't even care because he was going away in one month anyway.
This sucker here inherited the responsibility to remodel this fucking clusterfuck of data.
I was trying to do a good work here until today but some things came to my mind :
I don't care.
They don't care.
Fuck it.
I'm gonna do the same shit and the next person can suck ma'dick.
I have better things to do.
Look, I'm gonna do a lazy job that is gonna be a million light years better than what this sucker did anyway.1 -
My boss insists in develop the most unmaintainable ways possible like hard coding everything... EVERYTHING....
DDD (despair driven design)
😵😨5 -
The one they called to announce I was being dismissed after promising a promotion witch led me to refuse a better job opportunity the week before...2
-
So, we have this ma'am at work that is the least direct person I know.
She can transform one sentence in a paragraph and the meetings/talks with her I usually end up in my "happy place" at the middle of her phrases and come back latter when she isn't finished and I'm like
"wtf is she talking about yet? Damn I went away again, shit... Just nod and smile..."
We had a meeting scheduled with her and some clients today... She missed it... MOST FUCKING PRODUCTIVE DAY EVER!
Thank you.7 -
My boss is letting a really strong bus factor grow around me.
I try to show them how to do things but they really can't wrap their heads around it and I keep improving our stack/infrastructure ...4 -
Sometime this year(what is left of it) or the next I will be promoted to the senior developer in charge of two schools.....
I already thought that the level of work that me and the current senior do is way too fucking much for two people. Can't really fathom all of it just being me without seeing a substantial increase in salary(there is one in place for it...but shit man I know myself and even then I am going to bitch about it repeatedly)
What sucks the most is that I can't wing it or just not give a fuck(my preferred technique) since I really like my department, my coworkers and specially my manager.
Its her fault. It really is. She is just so likeable and I really can't imagine not giving her anything other than my 100 .
And before everyone states that it should be 100 from the get go. I am not particularly fond of giving my all for a company/institution. Never.
The reason is that I have been fucked with way more times than I can count and normally feel that regardless of how much of a total badass I can be I will never see the full compensation of it. It has happened on every other job. So instead of working for the company I work for my team. If I don't like my team I don't give a fuck.
I am a good worker, was an excellent soldier and I am an even better engineer. But there is always this feeling that I am being taken advantage of that I just can't shake off everywhere that I am working at.
Even now, the reason why the lead is leaving is because of how he was fucked over during the reclassification process. It was a slap to him in the face. Now this glorious institution will lose someone that is really amazing all because they take shit for granted.
Everyone is a number, an id. As irreplaceable as we are they treated him as someone that would just take shit and be fine with it.
And trust me, where I am at, we ARE irreplaceable, this ain't cali where you flip a stone and you get 100 node/php devs. This is 0 man ground where devs are fucking wizards that no one knows exist.
Oh well.3 -
Discovered yesterday that my boss does tests with production database... and I'm responsible for the fucking backups and he doesn't even care to let me now when so I can at least schedule one at slave. Come on... it's not that hard to let others know or test on your own machine...1
-
TL;DR;
Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...
Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:
Boss: is there any problem with the server?
Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.
Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?
Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.
Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?
Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...
Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.
Boss: OK. Thanks
TL;DR;
Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...12 -
So happy when opened the mail box and found my stickers 😁😁
thanks a lot @dfox and @trogus.
Here is my setup too, hope its not too late @localhost5 -
Senior developer just showed me a "competitor" that seems to do things waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than us on his web site and was telling me:
Senior: damn, I wish I could figure out how they do this. I've been trying for so long...
I write the URL on chrome with dev tools open and literally the first thing that comes on the console is a nice greeting from their devs with links to they github repositories, ends up they are open source...
And now I'm here thinking "WTF!!!! WHY ARE WE NOT DOING THINGS THIS WAY?"3 -
You know that figurative bonner you have when working on new/exciting projects?
I used to be like that here...
Today I realized that I lost it a long time ago...
That sucks hard, every little script I do on the side I feel excited , every functionality I develop on the job is a fucking mirror of some other shit that no one uses on another mirror project that brings nothing new to the table.5 -
Just found out that our front-end intern that has been here for more than 4 months don't know about "onchange" events!!!
wtf man? I'm back end and know this shit...2 -
I'm literally the only one who locks the screen here at work.
Always makes me wanna do something to teach then.
My boss always leaves the screen unlocked with sublime opened and goes to lunch!
I think someday he was logged into production also...
And I'm like: seriously? wtf...
I lock my screen even when I'm home alone... yes I'm that paranoid...
No one is gonna "Greek question mark" me 😂18 -
Been her for a while and people are always saying @dfox rules, although its true, let's not forget the other master. @trogus you rule too 😎3
-
Oh so your deadline is Wednesday and you will travel on Thursday? Let's have a full day meeting on Monday... WELL FUCK YOU TOO!!!
-
Favourite API.
That's a hard one.
I guess it's a toss up between Salesforce APis and Cloudflare.
Both are straight forward and work within minutes of getting started, and both are well documented to the point, you only need a basic understanding of what you are doing or trying to manipulate to get it up and running.
If only AWS could do the same 😅1 -
so I'm here watching my boss' whatsapp blinking "typing..." for 5 minutes wondering of it's bugged, he's drunk or I have to update my CV...3
-
So this dubass left our company but convinced my boss to migrate our new stuff stack to react+firebase...
Already distributing my resume...2 -
Wtf man, you are using fucking Ubuntu for 5 months and I really have to tell you how to edit fucking /etc/hosts? Fuck you... I should be the fucking boss...3
-
You know what really pisses me off?
Arrogant/Condescending people doing rookie mistakes.
If you are like that but delivers I suck it up and let it go, but if you don't? Lol... Be ready for the shitstorm.1 -
I prefer functional style programming because it is easier to me to think in modules and functional hierarchies than it is object style shierarchies.
All in all, languages like F# and Clojure have always been fascinating to me. I wish I could find a use case for Haskell, but I can't. If anything F# is awesome to me because I already know .NET and really dig the entire framework, the strides made by Core are outstanding.
I had tried Scala before and just couldn't get into it. Far easier to just stick to Java even if I hate the idea of extending classes all over the place.
Ocaml is interesting too, but I know little to nothing about it, and Elixir looks far too much like Ruby for my taste even if I do like Ruby.
Choice is good, but sometimes overwhelming14 -
My boss always like to say: damn, every time we fix something something else breaks.
And I always tell him about TDD, unit tests, etc...
He smiles and continues to work as if nothing have been said...
He sits behind me and is constantly "wtfucking" and I'm here just thinking that he might have broken something that could have been avoided if he listened to me.
We are working on separate projects now and every time I think that someday I'm gonna join that code it gives me goosebumps 😵😓1 -
When i started my work I encoubtered this db(one of 4): more than 20 tables, some with 200 columns literally... EVERYTHING is a varchar 😓.
I'm slowly designing some normalized tables with real fk on new features and projects and people are like: how the fuck did you implement this feature so fast? the other guy spent 3 months designing this form (and I'm just speechless):
The form was some sort of crazyness shit passing input names as "name-of-property" and a file only to check if(name="string") then store a number value to an array and save it as a "number" (actually varchar) on the db. literally more than 50 if statements to do this.
Everything on a single table that made no sense at all.
Just wtf... At least my boss let me start if from scratch cause he we were always having panick attacks every time he needed to do something with it. 😂😂6 -
My husband has always asserted that it is my cat who is the sole instigator in attack grooming sessions, and he may well have been right. But this night, my cat was sleeping peacefully on me as I peacefully slept when his cat decided to go on the offensive.
At 3:30 am.
I appreciate your growth as a cat, Bob, but I would have appreciated it more had you not awoken me with your new-found confidence.1 -
git commit messages
at work:
Only related changes on commit
"Detailed explanation of changes
- This bug
- That bug"
personal project:
1732 changed files
"Changes"3 -
For the past 45 days I've been the sole developer of a standalone Java application and doing some ops only, now I'm getting back to the spaghetti php bullshit they call code and for the past 5 minutes I could fell the depression striking back...
-
!dev !rant
One of my closest friends at work is 50. He is very well kept despise his age and feels like a young soul to me. The man could be my dad because of his age but we still hang out like regular friends.
I am 27, turn 28 this month.
The other day he said that he was glad I went through the military. He said that it was because of that that I matured way past my age and that thanks to all the traumatic shit I have an older soul.
While I don't disagree, I kinda feel sad at it, it was one of the only instances in which i have felt that my military service has brought something semi good from it.
Friends are cool tho.9 -
Was talking about how I implemented CI/CD in one of our projects as a starting point to others and how it worked by running tests and deploying to the server and one of my colleagues laughed about having to have tests at all, I explained and asked him what was he gonna do that morning, his answer:
"Well, I'm gonna test the system X and fix some bugs"
To what I replied:
"If you have automated tests you could have those tests automatic(?!) and they also help you finding bugs early"
Wtf do ppl have in mind that they prefer remediation over prevention and they end up wasting their time with shit that could be fully automated?2 -
For fucks sake
Will I really have to become the fucking PM around here so shit start being done properly?
We look like bunch of scared cockroaches doing random shit everyday and lying to our selves that we are gonna meet deadlines and produce quality software but the only shit we can produce is quality bug.1 -
So... After this bullshit https://devrant.com/rants/1523838/...
Me: hey boss, so.. I made a list out of those PowerPoint's on Trello ( more than 50 cards ) , can we sit later to priorize them?
Boss: well.. We can but for me all those are important. And we are gonna have those other requests (THIS IS THE HUGE ONE) next week.
Me inside: aaaaahhhh... Scream to your faceeeee!!! I'm gonna kill you and use your skull as a fucking mug!!! Motherfucker!!!
Me: ok.
Our deadline is end of this month :)3 -
Ok, I am actually losing my mind at this bad excuse of a work place.
This guy, that I had only briefly talked to in email twice before, never met or even had a video chat, opened a ticket like this:
"Hi Alt-Tab,
I hope you enjoyed the end of last week, the weekend, and the beginning of this one! All well here. I ventured to [random place in London] for the first time on Saturday – liked it."
Now. I already can't fucking stand when colleagues that are not at all close start emails with "how was your weekend?" shit because then I have to waste another minute addressing that. But this guy took it to such another level that I literally had to read his email 3 times to believe what I just witnessed.
And of course he then went on and described the issue as folows:
"Just a quick note about the issue I have - could you let me know why the calendars are not syncing?"
Maybe if you fucking spent half of the energy of you writing a polite bullshit "hello" and instead used that to actually describe the issue I could help.
Fuck off.22 -
Fuck all these companies!! Every time I'm looking for jobs in my area all job descriptions only make me realize that I won't fit these environments and I'm better off starting my own business but I can't think of anything useful to do ... FUCK!!8
-
today I spent an hour and a half (30 mins past my paid hours) explaining go my boss that I'm not just being rebellious; that the time I'm taking to do the job right is appropriate and the only way to end up with a piece of software that they'll be able to request features for without adding on to the absolute shit pile frankenkrakken that is their mutated 13 year old OSCOMMERCE dumpsterfire.
I convinced him. -
Network manager: administration just canceled our domain registration 2 months before schedule.
Boss: uh.. OK... but can't we make a script to route traffic from www.canceled.com to our server?
Me: that's not how DNS works ( proceed to explain how DNS works )
PS: boss is lead developer... wtf?2 -
When I was starting my programing adventures I was intern in a "java position" that sucked so hard that I quited about 2 weeks in....
We would actually not code any single line... It was a fucking bullshit code generator for some shitty thing that I really didn't get and all we did was watch video tutorials about how to use it...
I was going insane...
There was this "senior" php dev at the team that used to brag that php was the most awesome fucking shit in the world and once said something like "I mean... Come on ... You can do anything in php... What can you do in java that you cant in php"
Oh boy... If it was today I would teach him some manners... -
So my coworker is gonna change computer and for the past two weeks is "annoying" me to install Ubuntu for her...
Look ... I'm a dev just like you... Get your shit together and do it yourself or wait.
So Wednesday I gave her the task to backup her shit because I'm gonna do it today... Guess what she told me? That I'm better at it and if I could do do for her...
Sure.. Yeah... Gonna rsync your /home/user folder to the new machine and fuck you if you loose anything, that's not my fucking job you useless piece of shit.2 -
f#cking idiots always saying stupid things followed by "I'm not an idiot..."
and trying to humiliate other people...2 -
Apparently I'm surrounded by morons...
For the past 7 days since I was ordered to learn react wich originated this rant https://devrant.io/rants/805055/...
I somehow know more of it then my team that is on it for the past month or more.
Looks like the "standard" is to pass refs everywhere instead of proper props/state utilization.
At first I was confused by the usefulness and credibility of it but after a literal 1 fucking minute google search I found it to be a bad practice discouraged even by official docs.
Wtf? No one read the docs?2 -
On stackoverflow
*Someone asks a question, asking for a feature.
* I put some link of a library, with some words.
* the asker says it's helpful
* some other unrelated stupid moron downvoted my answer2 -
Nearly 30 days into my new job. Haven't done any coding.
Just a lot of paper pushing and meeting scheduling.
What do?9 -
So I got sick of this "nodejs" bullshit around here and proposed a competition to define our next backend tech.
The node defender is already finding excuses as to why they might write bad code because of lack of knowledge , my answer:
If you don't know the tech we ain't gonna use it. -
You know what? I'm done with this bullshit of "do it and we review latter" when I ask clarification on requirements.
No you fucking stupid piece of shit, I'm a mother fucking professional developer, treat me with fucking respect!
I can't spend weeks trying to figure out wtf is your specific domain specifications if you ain't answer my questions with clarity I'm gonna keep asking them in slightly different ways as if you where a search engine and I'm trying to search wtf is in your mind.
Only then I'm gonna start planning/coding your shit.
I have better things to do.
Your lack of planning isn't my priority.3 -
Aw.. The face of the intern when I magically scp'd a 3 GB file to his download folder in 30 seconds... But I'm still wondering why he didn't ask anything like: coll, how can I do that too?4
-
People have a hard time realizing we do have to cover (at least try) all the possibilities... Yes ma'am I do have to know everything beforehand...
-
"Hey business, we've done some style changes in a new test evnvironent, can you check to see everything looks fine?"
"Page Y (which you've never heard of before) looks terrible!"
"It does! Sorry" - go check the page on the other test environment.
That's just what it looks like.1 -
The plan for today was to spend my birthday at school and then in the pub with friends/classmates.
Turns out there were no teachers, so here I am, at home with a great lunch and Netflix3 -
Me: Ok, lets jump back into my linux install
*Turns on PC and instantly boots into windows*
Me: Hm, that's odd, maybe I accidentally changed my boot order
*Opens BIOS and sees Windows SSD is first followed by Empty SSD...*
Me: *Cries in the corner realising I have just accidentally removed the Linux SSD and put it back in to try and install MacOS*2 -
If this was userRant most of the rants would be about difficulties with the app itself.
People say: of course I'm having issues, in not used to it.
I used to help people to use android or iphone even before I had one.
Its not about being used to something. Its about putting your brain to work... some people just can't ...6 -
I started with C#at the age of 12, it was way too complicated and I learned Lua for Computer craft instead. Next I learned Ruby for RPG Maker and finally Javascript for web Dev stuff.
Now comfortable enought with Javascript but put off by its quirks I learned Java for compiling faulty minecraft mods, but I only fully learned it in school.
At the same time I learned python and quite liked it for scripting, but ultimately it was not a good match for my projects.
Disapointed with Java I returned to C# and liked it quite a lot, but started learning C++. After touching my first Microcontroller I learned C and I've stuck with it as my favorite language.
Along the way I picked up Kotlin, in case I need to do some Java shit. Much better.
But how did I come to an understanding of programming. Well I got better after each time I got a layer deeper until I hit silicon.
I had tinkered with electronics since I was 15 so I just had to study some boolean mathematics in school and some vintage computers architecture and instruction sets and...
Then I finally understood how that shit I wrote in Lua way back when was actually executed by my hardware.
Allways dig deeper and you'll find enlightenment eventually. -
why the fuck do these mother fuckers have to give information to the ones responsible for designing the fucking application on the approval fase so I have to redesign some areas and spend a lot of time doing shit I could do once...
and that's not new information... no... I could handle it... it's fucking things you know since your fucking birth!!! fuck you and your shit talk!!!1 -
Apparently I have to teach what I know of Linux to my coworkers to reduce the bus factor on the server management role. ( already ranted about it )
What I want to do is create a single slide power point with "google.com" on it.
😂3 -
My coworkers are always too busy to learn new things ... and the only thing they adopted is git... other than that its just a clusterfuck of spaghetti code that everybody develops the way they see fit...
at least we are using a local (because reasons) gitlab-ce that I managed to install on the shadows and kind of introduced it without disrupting their way of pulling pushing ...
and they didn't even log in there , only once.. to create the account 😐
why don't people have any passion to learn? :/2 -
Me coding and researching to fix new things everyday and people come to me saying:
"You are working too much"
And I'm thinking: actually, its a never ending learning job, I dedicate so much because almost everyday I learn at least one thing.
But knowing that non-tech people have a hard time around it I just answer: yeah.3 -
On the beginning of a project I'm not yet ( 😒 ) taking part of I questioned the use of firebase because I understood the client was gonna ask for the web app to be hosted on their servers lately, but people told me not to worry.
Today... Only 2 fucking months later they are asking for the specifications/technologies used so they can prepare their server to host it and I was laughing my ass out internally while saying to my boss:
Well, looks like you are gonna need to rewrite huge parts and probably write a back end from scratch if you are gonna use postgresql.
Lol, why do people never listen to me? This is becoming ridiculous.... -
Guess who has to finally swallow his pride and implement traditional deferred rendering with a traditional gbuffer even though he swore to never do that
This guy right here2 -
I had a dream that I was on my first day at a startup and it was all going pretty well, was pretty happy ... So I asked for the code and it was php and had to use windows...
How can a dream become a nightmare so quickly?3 -
No matter how much I try my boss keeps trying to shove future or unsolicited features on every fucking current sprint as if we weren't delayed already...
Wtf dude? We get paid by delivery, let's just fucking deliver what they expect by each deadline and move on...5 -
1.
Accuracy 0.90 achieved so easily, makes me wonder if I've done something wrong. Lol.
2.
My neural net models are the only things in my life doing well. I think I chose the right career. Lol.
3.
Rerunning experiments is not fun. But getting better results is really... Ego stroking.26 -
Well that's it folks,
Australia has started to shutdown and become the isolated island it once was again, even more so with states shutting down independently.
Atleast we have the intern -
fuck, got to reboot the modem... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
where was i, oh yea -
internet right? It's not like the NBN wasn't designed to have every fucking Aussie using it at once or anything 🙄
https://abc.net.au/news/2020-03-22/...rant covid19 wk200 aussies don't do isolation well shutting down the nation nbn won't handle this shit5 -
lead dev: hey, I just committed but can't push
me: you need to add a remote repository, you don't have any yet
lead dev: what you mean by remote? 😕😕😕
me: explain what "push" does.
lead dev: ( with didn't get it expression ) hum...
me: (I think I'm in the wrong place) 😐😐😐😐 -
3 months project:
- deadline changed to 2 months
- specs delayed by 1 month
Now a 1 month project...
Started one month earlier so I could achieve something...
Now, 23 days to deadline: here, take this 20 page PDF with 200 questions ( witch can be drastically reduced) to make the new form section (2nd section out of 6).
Me: OK, but it could be nice to have everything at once so I could design it accordingly , I can see questions here that are repetitive , it would spare me a lot of work if I could see the big picture.
she: Just put those (200 f#cking questions) on and show me so I can see if its good and deliver the rest based on it.
OK, fuck it I'm just let hibernate create all the fucking tables and I figured out where to get all the questions she wants anyway... there are 7 categories with repeated questions...(about 150)...
Just wonder what's so hard to do her job... she had 3 months to do it and I only have 1... -
Just figured out that while I was on vacation they made a really well thought (not) decision to switch to Firebase despite having 4 fully managed VPS with low usage.
Wanna know what the big deal is?
The only one who looks like knows anything is the fucking intern.
I was trying to understand the thought process and everything revolved around "its real time" argument.
No one knows how the api really works, the benefits of "real time" , and we are using the free plan :)
Yeah... People really do overthink things here... -
I was considering starting a business with a coworker something like dfox-trogus duo...
But damn he can't even stop pushing unfinished changes ... Its not bug... Its bug+unfinished... Bugs I can handle...
Now I really think I might be better alone4 -
Sometimes I get me thinking that the only coworker I consider real dev is the intern.
Really looking forward to go to a real coding job.2 -
It would be great if you didn't change your changes after I implement them you fucking inconstant bitch...2
-
If anyone here remembers the first 2 part rant story I posted then you will know that I got unceremoniously laid off by a company that tried to blame me for their bad decissions at one point
Well, a couple of days ago I found out that the senior dev and the owner took a trip to San antonio tx in order to try and look for growth opportunities and more developers. The thing is, being a Mexican company they thought they could go away with half assed solutions and mexican pay charts (to them it is completely reasonable to pay a dev with a degree and experience close to 13.99 an hour) just to find out that shit like that does not fly with American professionals. After I left, no one would monitor their .net implementations , the lead developer being a new php developer himself and not knowing much about .net had to take care of much of the things they had to work with, their API made no sense and it was damn near impossible to connect their services to a mobile platform unless you had ninja like skills and ingenuity.
I hold no grudges and really wish them the best, but it pleases me to know that they know now that their way of doing things is not standard in the U.S. now that makes me happy. -
Every single dev I know that struggles with English struggles with coding.
Gonna keep taking samples throughout the years.7 -
FUCK YOU!!! HOW CANT YOU SEE THAT EVERY TIME I SUGGEST TO SEPARATE OUR FUCKING WORKFLOW WITH FRONT END/BACK END AND TRY TO INTRODUCE AT LEAST SOME MANAGEMENT TO THIS SHIT HOLE ITS MY WAY OF SAYING: look dude, I like it here but fuck you shit face if I have to deal with this fucking CSS bullshit one more time there are going to be delays everywhere ...
Fuck you CSS.1 -
How hard can it be to convincente my fucking team to take unit testes seriously?
I'm gonna tell you: REALLY FUCKING HARD!!! TO EVEN CONSIDER START LOOKING WTF IT IS!!!
Cmon people... Improve your fucking selves once in a while... -
!rant
Omfg wtf is going on with bitcoin?
Don't know what makes me crazy about its growth in 2017: the fact that I have no money to buy some or the fact that when I have it might collapse ... Aaaargh9 -
They are getting better..
Got a message on LinkedIn from a very beautiful recruiter lady asking me to have a coffee to discuss job possibilities.
She actually had a look at my skills.
- my native language is important
- Technologies and roles are a good fit
- she wrote that they also have an office here in Dublin (I mentioned in my profile that I’ll never take a job back home again)
„They also have a gaming room if you’re into that“..
The probably best message I’ve ever gotten from a recruiter.
If I wouldn’t really like my current job I’d definitely meet up with her..
Hypothetical question.. would it be okay to hit on a recruiter on LinkedIn although you’re not interested in the job?😍8 -
"You basically need a iOS and Android app, with access to the driver and also to the final client with an administrative environment and integration to pay online via the app"
- Uber like app request from a friend -
For the fucking millionth time!!!
Backup != slave-master replication you dumb fuck...
What the fuck is so hard to understand after countless explanations using fucking drawings and shit?
Wtf dude...6 -
So my coworker was trying to `npm install` after I recently installed Ubuntu on her machine and for some reason , I was doing something else, some jdk not being installed error popped on her screen.
She proceeded to have a mini freak out telling me that npm wasn't working because java wasn't installed and I started hysterically laughing in the middle of the office with my boss next to her staring at me... So I said firmly ( while laughing ):
"no bahuhaahah that's not hahahaha the case."
Still can't understand wtf she thinks happens with stuff in a computer... Cmon... -
the api endpoint for retrieving user-data in an alexa skill might as well be api.eu.amazonalexa.com WITH .EU
this is not as good documented as it should be and did cost me several hours until i saw it by accident analyzing the request-data another time...
you´re welcome. -
So.. There is this meeting today that 70% is gonna be nontechnical bullshit and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be there thinking about anything but focusing on it....2
-
Looks like using another language to develop a separate process on the system is too much of a mind blow to my boss.
The look on his face when I tried to suggest such thing made me realize it will not be worth the time explaining the benefits of using the right tool for the job.1 -
Last few months have been quite calm. Nothing to really rant about. The egocentric asshole PM (see my past rants) left the company, so things have been better at work. I thought that there would be so much chaos because of all the roles that he had (project manager, engineering manager, lead developer, dev ops) but we managed to keep things running smoothly, which shouldn't have been a surprise for me, but I was a bit scared at first. Relieved, because well... the egocentric asshole left, but a bit scared either way. Anyway, everything has been fine. I'm pretty much the lead frontend developer now, even tho there's no official structure or hierarchy, everyone just keeps looking up to me for help and guidance. I've received a good pay raise. Work has been interesting and challenging. All's well.
This all coincided with me deciding to take a little break from devrant, and the lack of ranting material kept me from coming back. I just dropped by to say hello and check how devrant is going. I hope you are all doing well :)3 -
Aaaah FUUUUUUCK!!!!!
As if I had nothing better to not nor deadlines I went on a mission to tweek my i3-wm installation with resulted in lightdm not starting... FML7 -
Damn, I'm fucking tired of this country...
"Want affordable electronics?
Well you can go uck your self"
Imagine paying 200 for a pi zero... And from a world wide reseller they don't ship here...
Want a notebook? How about getting 2 months worth of your full salary to pay for a medium one? Pretty good huh?
Globalization my ass.6 -
So we have this project that we are hosting on our testing server for presentation purposes ( already provisioning prod server ).
Our boss was presenting it to investors and my superior committed a bug there and was asking me help to figure out how to fix it (yeah.. he doesn't know how to checkout last commits in git... fml), and I realised the presentation might still be going on... so I asked: isn't boss showing it to investors?
superior: lol, idk maybe.
me: right... ( I proceed to roll back changes ) bye, have a good lunch.
And here I am having lunch considering my life choices. -
Things I do when I'm coding in C
Laugh like a stupid 10 year old at STD in stdio.h (Sexually Transmitted Diseased input output)
Keep trying to type studio.h instead of stdio.h1 -
Great start to Halloween, phone has been stolen, and turned off so I can't track it. Oh, and I have no job so I can't get another right now. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY3
-
wtf boss!!!! Is it so hard to understand that having one column per year is a horrible bad practice?9
-
Sitting here in Brazil watching everyone getting their stickers and knowing it will take at least 4 months to receive mine... 😬😤😒😓😓😭😭9
-
BACKLOG REFINEMENT
TeamLeader2: why did you rate this task so high? It should be easy enough
TeamLeader1: you guys have never worked with Angular. We have just started using it seriously and it's really complicated, I know it looks easy from the outside but trust me this whole framework requires a lot of work even for trivial tasks
What's that I hear in the distance? A phone ringing? Someone better pick that up, because I FUCKING CALLED IT
https://devrant.com/rants/9108342/...3 -
How can I fucking plan a software AFTER I implement it??? People want to shit without eating first....1
-
We interviewed some candidates for a dev position some weeks ago and, knowing the environment isn't that challenging (at least for me) I voted against the better curriculums because I know they would be frustrated fast, I said that. But I didn't say it was because it's shit here... Of course.... I really just want the good devs to be better then they can be here.... What do you think?3
-
Saturday and a new VSCode Insiders release?
Normally there is no new release on the weekend. Well done Microsoft, except for the fact that I now have the following message in the terminal: "your 131072x1 screen size is bogus. expect trouble" :)
Otherwise, the performance of the current release (code-insiders_1.17.0-1506717283) is way better than the previous one.4 -
What the fuck? Been trying to see rants all day long at work and at home and DevRant was super weird as if I wasnt connected, which I was...
Tested jsrant.com and the api was working...
Connected to a VPN on digital ocean and everything works flawlessly, dinconected from VPN and DevRant is off again...
Now on VPN... Wtf...5 -
The company I work at acts on a field that I'm quite passionate about but what is frustrating me lately is the fact that people seem to acknowledge way more the programing skills of the leader of another non-dev team that has good ideas but isn't that well versed on the dark arts.
-
Was struggling with a NullPointerException that apeared on a test machine of a standalone spring boot app I'm developing...
5 hours latter I found the reason by accident....
The default session timeout was too low...
Increased that bitch to 10 hours and don't rely on session anymore to pass data... -
What the fuck is a "pre test"? And why the fuck do you call it if there are no other tests after it? Get your shit together pm!!!!
-
Because of the amount of complaining I do at work concerning legacy php applications the HOD is trying to push for different technologies to use for backend services. We have met multiple times to discuss the proper way of handling the situation since there are a lot of very obvious things to consider regarding the push for a new tech stack. The typical names have come about, but my biggest issue will be training people for these stacks.
Testing environments with docker and so forth, push for CERTAIN applications to be more API centric and the use of better frontend frameworks that will remain standard for years to come(hard to bet on this one but I tend to orefer React) among other things are the topics of conversation.
Personally I would love to move the shop to something geared towards Golang, thing is, the lead dev is complaining about it saying that the training for a new language would just take time. After a couple of examples he is still not convinced.
I think its wrong of him to center himself on just PHP and JQUERY as the main development stack he uses and learning new things should be part of the job, I also have a case against the spaghetti code that results from just using vanilla php with no proper development practices(composer based systems, oop etc etc you get the gist)
In the end I am starting to think that it will become one of those "fuck off I am the boss" type of deal since I am going to be here after a long time and he has about 2 years before he medically retire.1 -
Well, well, well, Ubuntu. You piece of shit. Just installed selinux and guess what? Now it won't boot. Fuckin hell.3
-
So my peers are making a hybrid android app and I'm managing the back end, at the start of the project I told them to publish it to the play store to test if it will pass any rules ( I assume there are automatic inspection or whatever) we are near the launching fase and we don't even have a dev account there yet...
-
php is so fucking great, every time I'm coding in php I'm astonished by the speed it goes from code to test. Unfortunately its the only benefit I see in using php.2
-
That feeling when you’re writing in C and it takes you hours to realize the reason you’re seg faulting is that you neglected a couple of null checks. *facepalm*
-
So I hooked gitlab pushes to show on slack channel... My coworkers don't have a clue about merge, commits, anything.... Sometimes looks like they have no clue about most of the things...
-
Nice. I can't update my alarm app because I don't want Galaxy Apps to access my contacts. Well done. Whatever these two have in common...2
-
Saw my dad doing some frontend work alongside the devils spawn work (PHP), when I was 8 years old. Ever since I've fallen in love with programming, especially in backend work.
-
Wtf google is that so hard to make it easy to wget/curl some files/folders from google drive? Wtf...2
-
I'm not going to get any real work done today, am I...
Here I sit waiting for the next problem to pop up because of silly untested edge cases by this team.
Ugh... 😮💨5 -
So they're working on a way to store data in DNA. That means next generation computer science students have biology as a core course!
-
Why the fuck do I have to wait more than 2 seconds to cancel a fucking FAILED PayPal transaction??? AND HAVE MY CREDIT BACK?!?! C'mon !!! ITS FUCKING 2016!!!
-
I wish I could show y'all my fav youtuber, the dude's youtube name is Dross. He makes entertaining videos about horror, some of them are not legit at all, but still entertaining to watch. The issue is that they are in Spanish.
It sucks. -
Shoutout to them self built utilities you carry with you where ever you go! Saved my butt a couple times!
-
Damn, I'm conducting some benchmarks on go and php...
A php page that simply returns "hi" with no framework is a lot slower than 1000 calls with 200 concurrency to a go function that queries redis and returns a json.1 -
When you filed for a VL but you need to go to work on that day because you have a lot of work and testing to do. Sounds fun
-
https://github.com/netlify/...
This repository has been archived by the owner on Oct 10, 2022. It is now read-only.
Well fuck, whats the alternative? Absolutely NOTHING in the README that points to any new tool or documentation.
I swear to fucking god I write better documentation for MY FUCKING HOBBY PROJECTS THAN YOU BILLION DOLLAR VALUATION FUCKING DUMB FUCK STUPID FUCK COMPANIES THAT WASTE MY FUCKING TIME EVERY DAY AND HOUR AND MINUTE AND SECOND I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
I swear I HATE all CA software employees, all that they stand for, and all that they do (apparently not much)
How the fuck can I list out all my users? Just fucking clowns.
God I'm fucking fuming. How irresponsible is it to archive a repository (thereby blocking new issues) and then NOT linking to any new tool or documentation!?!?!?!
I MEAN HELLLOOOOOOO AM I SPEAKING A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE HERE
just leave me to die5 -
When u are at page 8 of promotions of pc components, click on "see 100 products" and go to the first page 🤦
-
So they built a ionic app for compatibility between android and iOS now they are gonna keep ionic for android and build from scratch with react native for iOS... Am I missing something? Is that right? Am I sleeping?
-
What we should do:
1. Find problem
2. Stop debugger
3. Change code
4. Restart debugging
What we all do:
1. Find problem
2. Forget about the debugger and change code immediately
3. Stop and Restart debugging -
"How well we communicate is determined not by how well we say things, but how well we are understood." - Andrew Grove1
-
That feeling when you ask client something to make everything clear and just more questions appear...
-
That moment when you are scrolling DevRant and your wife just doesn't shut the f up and your are raging inside but you love her and are as calm as Dalai Lama on the outside.
Yes love, of course (Just let me read !!! wtf!!!) 😂😂😂😂3