So this fucking happened today.

Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*

Me: *opens issue*

"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"

Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*

"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"

Me: *looks at error message*

"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".

😐 😶 😦

Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*

Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*

"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"

Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫

Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.

If I have headphones in
and I'm intentionally away from everyone
and it looks like I'm working
and you want to talk to me

Here's some advice:
DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME.

If you're curious why, I've compiled a list of points:

1) DON'T
2) FUCKING
3) TALK
4) TO
5) ME

Also, see Fig. 1 below:

(Fig. 1)
| DONT
| FUCKING
|
| TALK
| TO
|
| ME
---------------------------------------
Don't fucking talk to me!

I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:

Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*

WTF is this high school?

This is me at 5 in morning 😭😭

Me greeting a female friend with a joke: Hey baby, wanna play with my python?
Her: Only if it's well commented and production ready.
Me: I love you.
Her: I know.

Me: This is totally gonna work

Compiler: u tried

Sitting on the bus updating my system.
Random girl: What are you using?
Me: Linux :).
Random girl: Ohh I use Mac, because that doesn't have viruses and can't get hacked!

*me waiting for a cliff to jump off*

I need new friends.

Me: Just Google it..

Friend:
Opens browser (home page is some ad-riddled crap)

Types "Google" in address bar

(Google search page opens)

Clicks first result (google.com)

Types search query.

Me: 😶🔫

So this happened today.

Client: hey I sent this ticket, what's the status/have you located the issue?
Me: well, it says it quite obviously in the error message...? (i actually said that, toned down afterwards a little)
Client: where's the error message then?
Me: 5th line....? It's literally there in plain english?
Client: ok so what does it mean?
Me:..............? "marked as spam by the receiving server"?!
Client: yeah ok but what does that mean?

😐

Thing to keep in mind: they're a web dev/email solutions company.

😐😩

Similarities between this spider and me:
- We both are web developers
- We both live in same room
- We both try to find bugs everyday

Am I the only one that will have my headphones on (without music) just so people will not bother me?

*sees a bug on unprofessional website*
Me: tell the admin
Me to me: hack it

Pm: Can you make a prototype in 3 weeks?

Me: Sure, but just for the sake of demoing something to the customer. It will take more time for production ready code.

(3 weeks later)

PM (to customer): We can sign you up today and you can use it tomorrow.

Me: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

"Forgive me" is quite a common comment in GitHub projects.

1. I agree to work with you on your startup idea because i believe in you.
2. I am the solo developer doing both the mobile apps, website, database and server side.
3.You call me shouting and complaining that i am too slow.

4. sudo rm -rf ~/your_project

*casually programming stuff*
*Sudden need to open cmd arises*

Me: *opens cmd and starts typing, when it hits me*
"Fuck"

Friend: "what happended?"

Me: "i forgot to turn on hackermode"
*enters "color 0a"*
"Better"

Friend: *chuckles angerly*

Its a joke
please don't kill me :(

My experience with Adobe...
(I recently moved to Canada)

Me: I want to give you money. (Tries to pay with Canadian card)

Adobe: Sorry, you have a US account, you must use a US card.

Me: Okay, what are my options to pay with my Canadian card?

Adobe: We have to delete your US account and create a Canadian one.

Me: Okay... Why can't you just switch the country from US to Canada on my account?

Adobe: *bullcrap response*

Me: Okay, delete it and transfer everything.

*Kicks me out of the chat.
*I log back in. Try to reconnect to customer service chat.

Adobe: AdobeID unable to participate in chat.

*I'm 30 minutes into this ordeal

Me: (to myself) I could literally torrent this program in 5 minutes 🤔

Lesson: if a company wants people to not torrent their software make it easier for a willing fucking customer to buy your software!

Since the chat doesn't work anymore, I called customer service and am still on hold.... 😤😤😤

Why does the internet have borders?

Exp. that made me doubt my skills?

My non programming sister managed to find a bug I was looking for...

I couldn't find the problem for hours and she just looks at the screen and goes "That looks odd!"

Css is most definitely a woman who's mad at you but won't tell you why.

"What's wrong? what did I do? "

"Nothing..."

84 hours. Took alot of coffee and adderall. Had 5 projects with reasonable deadlines until mother fucking hurricane Katrina decided it wanted to be the best cocksucking blowing bitch around and knocked power out for two weeks. I managed to get 3 projects finished before i passed out for a day but two clients got pissed off cause their projects were late. They were pissed off even more when i had to pull the Forced Majeure clause cause they wanted to be bitches and didn't want to pay for my work

TL;DR: Hurricane didn't kill me so deadlines tried

my_girlfriend: who do you like more in your life?
me: linux
my_girlfriend: What????
me: you asked who i LIKE not Who i LOVE?
my_girlfriend: ok, who do you LOVE?
me: python

i dont know why she left me, i think she was php fan

Me: “I’m gonna rebuild this site from the ground up.”
Also me, 5 minutes into it: “Can’t figure out this stupid CSS thing I need to do. Gonna take a quick break.”
Also also me, looking at it 5 days later:

You say they are looking for me, but when i contact them they pretend like they dont even know me.

one of our computers at work suddenly shut down. our boss panicked like it was the end of the world cause he knew we couldnt buy a new one and we desperately need the computer. when i came in he started telling me he's gonna pay me extra if i fix the computer

me: *checks cpu and finds out it was unplugged* u sure bout that?
him: hell yea, id rather pay u that buy a new one

*30 mins later*

me: *plugs it back in and pushes power button* its done

>> guess who's got extra money without any extra efforts yay

Me in every other commit or so

A conversation between me and a girl who is a university topper from CS degree.

Well, here's the OS rant I promised. Also apologies for no blog posts the past few weeks, working on one but I want to have all the information correct and time isn't my best friend right now :/

Anyways, let's talk about operating systems. They serve a purpose which is the goal which the user has.
So, as everyone says (or, loads of people), every system is good for a purpose and you can't call the mainstream systems shit because they all have their use.

Last part is true (that they all have their use) but defining a good system is up to an individual. So, a system which I'd be able to call good, had at least the following 'features':
- it gives the user freedom. If someone just wants to use it for emailing and webbrowsing, fair enough. If someone wants to produce music on it, fair enough. If someone wants to rebuild the entire system to suit their needs, fair enough. If someone wants to check the source code to see what's actually running on their hardware, fair enough. It should be up to the user to decide what they want to/can do and not up to the maker of that system.
- it tries it's best to keep the security/privacy of its users protected. Meaning, by default, no calling home, no integrating users within mass surveillance programs and no unnecessary data collection.
- Open. Especially in an age of mass surveillance, it's very important that one has the option to check the underlying code for vulnerabilities/backdoors. Can everyone do that, nope. But that doesn't mean that the option shouldn't be there because it's also about transparency so you don't HAVE to trust a software vendor on their blue eyes.
- stability. A system should be stable enough for home users to use. For people who like to tweak around? Also, but tweaking *can* lead to instability and crashes, that's not the systems' responsibility.

Especially the security and privacy AND open parts are why I wouldn't ever voluntarily (if my job would depend on it, sure, I kinda need money to stay alive so I'll take that) use windows or macos. Sure, apple seems to care about user privacy way more than other vendors but as long as nobody can verify that through source code, no offense, I won't believe a thing they say about that because no one can technically verify it anyways.

Some people have told me that Linux is hard to use for new/(highly) a-technical people but looking at my own family and friends who adapted fast as hell and don't want to go back to windows now (and mac, for that matter), I highly doubt that. Sure, they'll have to learn something new. But that was also the case when they started to use any other system for the first time. Possibly try a different distro if one doesn't fit?

Problems - sometimes hard to solve on Linux, no doubt about that. But, at least its open. Meaning that someone can dive in as deep as possible/necessary to solve the problem. That's something which is very difficult with closed systems.

The best example in this case for me (don't remember how I did it by the way) was when I mounted a network drive at boot on windows and Linux (two systems using the same webDav drive). I changed the authentication and both systems weren't in for booting anymore. Hours of searching how to unfuck this on windows - I ended up reinstalling it because I just couldn't find a solution.
On linux, i found some article quite quickly telling to remove the entry for the webdav thingy from fstab. Booted into a root recovery shell, chrooted to the harddrive, removed the entry in fstab and rebooted. BAM. Everything worked again.

So yeah, that's my view on this, I guess ;P

My mom: "there's a virus in my phone! It says so when I open Chrome!"
Me: "...stop clicking on strange links that your friends send you, mom. Nobody will ever give you free Nespresso capsules for life as a gift."

Every damn time.

Them: “We want parallax on our website on mobile!”

Me: “Parallax does not work in a mobile web browser.”

Them: “But it does here!” Shows me an iOS app that does parallax.

Me: “That’s in an iOS app. Not a mobile web browser”.

Them: “ Oh well. I’m sure you’ll figure it out!”

😐😐😐😐😐.
Welp.

The newest iPhone really seems like a top notch smartphone!

Please don’t kill me 😅

Passed the online test.
Passed the technical interview.
Need to pass the final interview.

I'm applying to this company as a JS developer (backend). Their engineers are amazing and the fucking have 99.94% coverage on their test suiteeee; that gave me a code-boner.

If I get this job I'll finally say good bye to fucking PHPShit and Zend Framefuck and all this hacked bootstrap and 15k LoC "core.css/js"

I CAN DO IT

Relatives: What does he do as a job?
Mom: He's an informatician, he tinkers with computers
Me: No, I'm a programmer.
Relatives: Is it computer related?
Me: Yes, but..
Relative: Sounds like an informatician to me.

I'm so tempted to say that I butcher animals, but I'm afraid they'll think I'm a veterinarian.

I'm building a website for a new company and the boss doesn't understand technology at all. says he doesn't want me using any html because it is old and I have to use python because it's a 'hot language.' I try to explain that html is for websites and he replies 'not mine.'

FUCK ME I'M A STUPID FUCKING MORON.

I just spent three motherfucking ours trying to figure out why a function I wrote didn't return what I expected, I was totally clueless, basically rewrote it in its entirety multiple times. When it still didn't work, I really started doubting my understanding of what I was doing…

… until I found out I just messed up in the fucking function call and the function was actually returning what it's supposed to. 😵

!rant
About to attend a hackathon with free food and beverages - including alcohol.
And I can't get this xkcd with the ballmer peaking out of my head.
I sincerely hope it won't get as bad as ME...

I use different variations of the same password. Everywhere.

It's worked out good so far but I can see it all crashing down on me at some point.

Guess who compiled a program with 0 errors and 0 warnings at first try!! 😀😀😀
Spoiler: not me

Me : right, I should replace my multiple cases in my switch with a regex so that code will be prettier

Also me : oh shit I don't know how regex works, I forgot, I'm a dumb piece of shit I should ask my dev friends how to do it

Then again, me : Oh shit I don't have any friends

Writing HTML is not coding. You can't relate to me.

QA: Please Look at this Defect.
Me: Okay not a problem!
QA: Thanks
Me: <Starts to look at Defect>
QA: 2 mins later. Do you have an ETA on when it will be fixed?
Me: Not yet, I'm still looking at it.
QA: Do you know what time it can be fixed? I have a deadline.
Me: I don't know what's wrong yet, I can't tell you when it will be fixed if I don't know what's wrong.
QA: Okay. Update Me.
Me: Opens Dev Rant.

Me and a junior coder are working on a project. However, he likes to think he's funny and say "Ok google" to stop me from using my phone.

He said "Ok google, search midget porn" when I was calling my mom so naturally I need to get back at him, so when he's in the rec room, I backed up all his code on my flash drive, and copied it to the clipboard, and removed all project files from his computer.

He came back while I was in the bathroom, and when I reentered the room and was balling his eyes out, that his project was gone. I said to him, don't ok google me again and I handed him the flash drive back. He has never done anything bad again.

I'm seriously considering never doing fixed rate projects for clients ever again. The conversation will likely go like this, though:

"How much to build my website?"
"$100/hour."
"Sorry, I don't think you heard me correctly. I asked how much to build the whole website."
"$150/hour"
"Wait, you changed the rate! Why won't you give me a fixed cost?"
"Why won't you pay me for my time?"
"Because I can get it done for a cheaper fixed cost somewhere else!"
"But how do you know that's actually cheaper?"
"What do you mean?"
"We pad fixed price projects precisely because we fear not being fully paid for our time."
"Oh."

Guess everybody has access to me now...

*job ad* We strongly adhere to TDD

Reality:
Me: yeah but shouldn't we write tests first and then get X finished?
Manager: No takes too much time, we finish X and then we decide if it's worth testing.

Every time I hear a developer say "works for me", I'm gonna hide a service of mine that they use behind the VPN.

Dev: "oy mate, this server is down"
Me (with VPN connection): "sorry mate, works for me"
Dev: "but here, check this out, it's down!!"
Me: "mate, check your network connection. You must have a shitty network connection."
Dev: -_-
Me: "Maybe shitty hardware? Driver issues on your network card? 🤭"

Because you know, we sysadmins can do that too 😉

My boss is making me deploy a major change what hasn't had proper testing yet on the day I leave for 2 weeks. Save me someone.

So my girlfriend decided to surprise me with this cake... I'm happy with it but I feel violated as I'm PHP guy not .NET

Oh boy. Not even a full week into the new semester and my CTE teacher thinks I'm a hacker.

I'm taking this horribly dreary Excel and Access class (yes, Microsoft proprietary mess, but easy A), and our teacher has this program that allows her to monitor our screens, freeze them, take them over, etc. Problem is, she doesn't know how to use it.

Today class was going on as usual, when magically another students screen popped up on everyone elses. It wasn't bad, just Pandora and Excel, but my teacher flipped. She claimed that someone hacked the program and was broadcasting their screen to everyone else, not taking the time to think she might of just pressed the wrong button.

As a joke, I set my desktop to "Big Brother Is Watching You", poking fun at her ability to see everything we do. Moments later, she's arrived at the conclusion I was the hacker the whole time.

Soon enough, the people I sit near by start exclaiming they've seen me coding in class, and because I was coding, I must be the hacker. If you've read my first rant you can already see where this mess is going.

She says she'll give me a one time pass because it was a first time incident, despite the fact I did NOTHING.

Another thing that happened was that a teacher was trying to record her lectures on her computer so we could watch them to learn and have more time for other stuff. No biggie, I'll help her out.

The screen recorer software she was given was shit, so I got her OBS and did some fiddling around. The first time it didn't load, so I tried a ton of stuff. Used different versions (64/32 bit), downloaded previous releases, poked around driver settings, and found out her DirectX was ancient and since it was a school computer there was nothing I could do.

She let out a sigh, and thanked me for trying.

Then she pulls out a desk camera (a camera that has like a bendy pole from it, points down, and records your desk. Think of a lamp) and says "this will have to do"

Bitch, you had something usable the entire time. Don't waste my time, I was trying to help you.

TL;DR: My first rant ever here literally happened again

Ok guys, this is it: first dev interview in 30 mins

Wish me luck!

I am but one man. Please remember that I am only human, and as much as I have automated, some things still take time.

Also,

I DON'T KNOW IT'S A FUCKING ISSUE UNTIL YOU MAKE ME AWARE OF SAID ISSUE. IF THIS ISSUE GOES ON FOR WEEKS, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM AWARE. PLEASE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LET ME KNOW BEFORE IT BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU. BECAUSE WHEN AN ISSUE BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU, YOY THEN BECOME A HEADACHE FOR ME.

Coworkers: "Who still even uses vim? Glad we've got Visual Studio so we don't have to deal with ancient shit tools like that!"

Me: "Psh, yeah, total losers right? Haha!"

**Sheepishly returns to coding using the VsVim extension**

A conversation with my friend:

Me: Sure, I’ll whitelist you. What’s your IP?

Friend: I think it’s localhost.

Me: ...

Sent HTML to google translate server side to support multiple languages.. actually worked pretty well but it made me feel dirty for weeks.

You dumb, stupid fucking idiot.

Yes, that's me. Spent an hour debugging something, only to find out I wasn't paying attention when going through the API ref. Fucking fuck. Such a waste of time.

I went on an interview was given an algorithm to solve, solved it in 30 mins and they had allocated 20 mins for it. So I guess I suck. I build shit, I don't do algos that often so I'm obviously rusty.

interviewer: so why should we hire you over a CS graduate.

me: cause I can get shit done.

... akward silence

interviewer: what do you mean by that? like html and CSS?

me: as you can see, I have built large scale real-time web apps with React/Redux (the stack they supposedly use and the position they're hiring for!) the knowledge I have is practical, it can't be learned from books, and it can't be learned from a course. Only building, breaking and rebuilding over time will teach you this knowledge. So essentially a CS grad, who hasn't committed the same amount of hours as I have, can't possibly match me. But they probably can better explain the real world applications of using linked lists...and won't have to Google what Pascal's triangle is like I had to....

interviewer: I see. we will be in touch.

lol well I guess they'll be in touch..

*An actual conversation for desktop support*
Me: Picks up phone call from user

User: Hi there, it seems I can login with my most recent password, can you help?

Me: Okay no problem, I'll just need to reset your password

User: *sigh* really? Another password I'll need to remember?

What I really want to say to users who give me this reaction:

Are you fucking shitting me? Do you know how many passwords I need to remember on a fucking whim for my job? Hundreds! Yea keep fucking complaining that it's going to be *SO* hard to remember your 3 fucking passwords in life.

Jesus fucking Christ, the shit I hear that people complain about.

When I joined my team in august as a junior/trainee, we were 6 developers.

Now we are 4 left in the team.

By the end of june, we are 1.. I mean its me, myself and I.

Wtf did I do!? My code isnt that spaghetti. I think...

But its np, just me with a 20 years old database, 7 legacy systems and a new one planned.

Atleast my boss believes in me keeping this shit floating.

me: "so what version control system + tool you're using for this website?"
co-worker: "what is version control?"
me: "uh... like tfs, you manage changes, merge etc!???"
co-worker: "ah, i'm using filezilla."

I was laid off right before Christmas because my manager would not give me any work (bully.. possibly discrimination). I asked for work to do for 2 weeks, even coming up with things to contribute on my own. My contributions were rejected and the lead developer agreed with me that it was fucked up but did nothing. The little work that I was given was always completed above standard and the lead dev had made comments praising my self tasked contributions but each rejection I was told it would be shelved for version 1.2.

Finally fed up, feeling as though I was being completely ignored, I told the lead dev I was going home half day early if there was nothing for me to do. The next day the CTO fired me and even lied to my recruiter telling him that I had not shown up for work for 3 days (easily disproven).

It's now the first of the year, probably not the best time to be looking for a new job, and my current outlook is that I am not going to be able to pay my rent at the end of the month.

My motivation has diminished, my confidence is gone. Job prospects are few. I don't know how to proceed.

Rant 2/n; 😎 = me, 💩 = client
The (brief but comprehensive) docs I sent my client contained the following line: "Any text that has not been translated will be highlighted yellow for the admins".

A day later:
💩: "Hey, I like the new design, but why are the titles yellow?"
😎: "They aren't actually yellow. You just see that because you're logged in and they aren't translated"
💩: "But the yellow doesn't look good with the design. Visitors will think it looks unprofessional. Make them not yellow!"
😎: "They won't see the yellow! Only you can see it so you don't miss any translations"
💩: "Hi, I just noticed some of the titles aren't in English. How do I translate them? And they're still yellow."

😐🙁😠😡🤬💥

The feeling of not knowing enough plagues me constantly

Manager: We are hiring a new graphic designer today. Can you get him settled in, please?
Me: Sure, I can do that.
Me: *shakes hand of new recruit.*
Me: I've heard great things about you.
Him: *starts going off on all his experience*
Me: that's great. Let's see what you got.

Several hours later...

Me: can I see what you got?
Him: just putting the last finishing touches on this logo.
Me: is that MSPaint!?
Him: yeah! It's good right?
Me: um...

Me, when read old code:
if z == true
return true
else
return false
Yeah, why not stupid fucker.

Client wanted to add "password usability" features such as:

Password1 === pASSWORD1

Him: Facebook and Google do it
Me: You're not Facebook or Google
Him: Well sure, not without this feature
Me: 🤔

Client: I need a blog with 3 categories.

Designer: cool, let's have every post teaser in the home look diferent depending on the category.

Me (Dev): Ok...

Client: *sees actual design with different looking posts depending on category* I like it! Let's go!

Me: *codes the site*

Client: It's cool but in the home the posts look different... Could we make them look the same?

Me:...

5" phones are too big.

15" laptops are too big.

Mid tower cases are too big.

Yet the market seems to disagree with me.

Thank to DevRant I can post content and people don't mistake me for a psychopath. Maybe.

Me at midnight: let's release a demo build

Me at 1 am: why are there so many bugs? Why won't it compile.

Me at 2 am: omg finally compiled. Runs it, buttons don't work. Closes it, reopens it. Buttons work.

Me at 3 am: let's write apologetic posts for the bugs, but post the version anyway

Me at 4 am: why do I advertise in so many places

Me at 5 am: let's update the patreon reward tiers

Me at 5:30 am: nah fuck this, going to bed.

Mom at 9 am: wake the hell up we need you to dig out a hill and build a stone wall around one side of the house.

Me: omg wtf why.

Me at 2:30 pm: why the hell are we doing this, I have so many bugs to patch and everyone knows they are there because I told them all!

I love it when unethical companies' marketing chaps assume that I care about their SMS garbage more than I get pissed off by it. Damart, I didn't even know about your existence or what the hell you do as a business (selling woman clothes apparently.. am I a woman?!) until you shoved your ad crap into my face, and Unigro I really don't have a pending contract with you so kindly fuck off with your reminders (that are in French but am I a Walloon? No!).

Makes me wonder though, with email I usually just give everyone a different email address to deflect spam - since I can reroute email to any particular address straight to /dev/null on the server if so desired. With SMS and SIM cards that isn't really possible.. hence why I'm always so hesitant about sharing my phone number. In email the addresses are scraped off the internet.. but phone numbers? How do such shitcompanies even obtain those?! Their level of pushiness and unethical behavior boggles my mind.

Manager: Morning Alex, how are you?

My Brain: I'm fan-fucking-tastic, I've had 1 hour of sleep, hurt my back, feels like my tail bone is broken, struggling to walk, every piece of code I've written for the past 3 day's has been a complete waste of time and I'm at work...

Me actually: Good thanks .-.

May the programming gods let me sleep tonight, instead of bombarding me with more ideas...

Someone "advised" me today to start going to bed early because it improves my health. Well, it's been 3 hours with my eyes still open.
Screw it am going back to code.

FUCK MY IDIOCY!
On the plane,I was bored, so I decided to write an extremely simple program to generate and display a Pascal Triangle. Made the login in under 5 minutes, but for some reason the padding was incorrect for 1 digit numbers.
__I was sitting at an awkward angle relative to my screen and not looking to closely or concentrating__
I debugged for 30 min, ubtil I found the problem:
one of the variables was called "io"
and I accidentally wrote "10".
FUCK ME!

Pro tip: don't confuse variables (or variables with values)!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW AT 8 AM AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SLEEP SINCE 12.30 AM. IT'S 6 AM ALREADY, 6 AM!

I guess when they no screens before sleeping they really mean it. I'm fucked, I'm really fucked. I guess I'll stare the ceiling until the alam goes off and accept an awful day and hope I get pumped up during the test or something. Fuck me. I want to fucking SLEEP. Fuck.

I just wanted to install vivaldi before sleeping and watch the last rick and morty episode. Does that fucking make me a fucking night owl? No. I could've use these precious time learning or writing code, or even sleeping, but fuck! I'm stuck here in time, just waiting for fucks sake!

Good night...
OR That's what I WOULD say if I could sleep...

When your friend tells you Windows ME was the best OS he's used...

" I wish to have a job where I can sit all day and still have a salary " said the 9 years old me not really considering the consequences. 11 years old later, here I am with *a dream come true* along with a constantly killing back and knees pain at my 20's writing some java codes.

I dream of meeting a programmer girl. I'm starting to think only programmers understand me, and therefore yadda yadda

So a classmate asked me what's the error in this 😐

Holy fucking cockgoblin!

If you interview for a senior position, please, for the sanity of your interviewer (me), make sure you know how to declare variables and how to iterate over an array in the language which the shitgoblin (you) "love and use all the time".

Of course the interviewer (me) is gonna be polite and let the shitgoblin (you) code out your 50-line solution for a 3-line problem, but after 2 hours watching the shitgoblin contemplate solutions that anyone who ever opened a fucking beginners tutorial by accident could answer, the interviewer might prefer to have been on a Justin Bieber concert or have sucked huge sweaty ballsacks for those two hours.

I know that interviews can be hard and stressful - I've been there, am there, and at some point will be there again - but please, for the love of nonexistent gods, don't be a time-wasting shitnugget but prepare yourself!

> Take girlfriend to Starbucks
Me: I'll ask for a cold brewed coffee, what would you like?
She: I don't like coffee...

Currently rewriting a typescript app to ES5

You read that right, from typescript 2.9 to ES5, not ES6 or 7, just ES5

I guess the boss doesn’t like modern stuff

On the bright side, i contacted some recruiters today and there are already 2 companies who want me over for an interview

Boss says everyone praises my work and efforts, except when nearing salary discussions then I suck and have a lot of unstable issues apparently.
I really struggle to give a polite f... When praised.
Wanna praise me? Pay me!

when you are a 19yo trying to build a portfolio and you have a mother bashing everyday that you only spend time "at the computer" and I should get "a real job" and that "your dream will never come true" really is the biggest disappointment of my dev life.
It just builds pressure and sads me. She doesn't support me cuz I'm not "doing any money".
I feel like I should just quit everything or even disappear from this shitrock that is called earth....

GAH! Just tell me which app! 😶

I fixed the text on this failed attempt at making me pay to view an article.

Omg so I've been stuck on this function I'm writing that checks if a certain array value is so many characters long and well, it just wasnt returning false when outside the conditions..

I tried taking it step by step, echoing out every line and it all made sense to me and there were no syntax errors.

Time goes by and inside the configuration file I was testing.. I was changing the value of a DIFFERENT array property than what I was using in my condition. They looked really similar.. fml xD

Shit i have 25 classmates and only me and 4 other guys are coding and only i use Git. Fuck i think i will cry need to teach them a lot about real programming and devRant😥😥😥😥

OMG I just accidentally deleted hundreds of hours of work permanently ... F*** ME 😱😱😱😨😨😱😰
THIS IS WHY I DON'T FUCKING USE AUTOMATED BATCH SCRIPTS.

FUCK ME!!
Tl/Dr: Always try the simplest solution first!

I've been working on a little unity3d game. I was implementing movement, for which I needed to check if the space next to the player was occupied.
I FUCKING TRIED EVERY FUCKING METHOD I COULD THINK OF, WASTED 3 FUCKING HOURS ON IT!!
(FILLED UP 5 SHEETS OF PAPER; WROTE OVER 900 LOC)
Then it hit me(pun intended): Use a raycast.
I' M STUPID

PS: This is also a test case for @JoshBent

Recently started at a new job. Things were going fine, getting along with everyone, everything seems good and running smoothly, a few odd things here and there but for the most part fine.

Then I decided to take a look at our (public facing) website... What's this? Outdated plugins from 2013? Okay, that's an easy fix I guess? All of these are free and the way we're using them wouldn't require a lot of refactoring...

Apparently not. Apparently, we can't even update them ourselves, we have to request that an external company does it (which we pay, by the way, SHITELOADS of money to). A week goes past, and we finally get a response.

No, we won't update it, you'll have to pay for it. Doesn't matter that there's a CVE list a bloody mile long and straight up no input validation in several areas, doesn't matter that tens of thousands of users are at risk, pay us or it stays broken. Boggles the fuckin' mind.

I dug into it a bit more than I probably should have (didn't break no laws though I'm not a complete dumbass, I just work for em) and it turns out it's not just us getting fucked over, it's literally EVERYONE using their service which is the vast majority of people within the industry in my country. It also turns out that the entirety of our region is running off a single bloody IP which if you do a quick search on shodan for, you guessed it, also has a CVE list pop up a fuckin' mile long. Don't get me started on password security (there is none). I hate this, there's fucking nothing I can do and everyone else is just fine sitting on their hands because "nobody would target us because we're not a bank!!", as if it bloody matters and as if peoples names, addresses, phone numbers and assuming someone got into our actual database, which wouldn't be a fuckin' stretch of the imagination let me tell you, far more personal details, that these aren't enticing to anyone.

What would you do in my situation?
What can I even do?
I don't want to piss anyone senior off but honestly, I'm thinkin' they might deserve it. I mean yeah there's nothing we can do but at least make a fuss 'cause they ain't gunna listen to my green ass.

console.log(`The see me rollin, they h${2*4}in :P`);

*My friend was piling up her food in a bbq place*

Me: What are you doing?
Her: I'm trying to beat my old stacking record.
Me: Be careful not to get a stack overflow!

. . .I'll see myself out.

Oh shit I just yawned right in my clients face they think they're boring me... 😳

Drove my colleague mad with console.log("you cant find me"), that stare he gave me across the room when his stuck with a bug. made me lol in the office literally

I should have known this job would be bad in my first week when they told me most of the classes are just copy-pastes of each other with different names

Anybody's a father here? My 10 months kid is giving me hard times waking at 2am and not going to sleep till 4am (it is 4 now, here). That's a really repeating problem. I'm loosing my focus at work, tired after few hours of coding, couldnt mange to learn after hours. Makes me frustrated. My PM understands situation (actually he have 5 kids!), tries to help. But can't figure it out how to overcome this. Any ideas fellow dads in code? To make it clear - I really love my son, but if I'll fail to keep my level at job I could loose it one day, don't feel like beeing able to find new decent job with current exhaust level. Also I'm the only one who makes money in our lil family, loosing job for too long means loosing the roof under the head for all three of us. My wife is barely living after beeing there for son whole day, so please dont point at her. Our kid is really demanding on attention and love, and thats like a sweet poison. Love kills.

When you dare play any of these wk37 pranks on me

I was struggling with a task on a project and decided to call the colleague, who's working on this project as well (he built it, I am just on-boarding) to get some advice.

Literally the first thing he asked me was: "have you seen whom this task is assigned to?"

Fuck! So I spent about 1.5 hours on not finishing a task that I shouldn't have worked on in the first place. Great.

Is it just me or is it really difficult to use software/tools that aren't visually pleasing?

All I've been doing at work last few days is code review. Damn, I feel bored. Just give me something to code already!

So this happened:

Client: “I just checked the page and the background video isn’t playing anymore. There’s just a play button in the middle”

Me: “It’s doing that because you are on low battery mode on your iPhone. Take it off”.

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

I'm debugging someone else's 10 year old legacy .asp web application (shoot me now), and I'm trying to find the most recent records in a database table.

Why is the most recent record from September of last year?

Oh.

Because they're storing the datetime value as varchar (40).

Good thing they were smart enough not to waste disk space by using varchar (255)!

Who wrote this??????Oh.... It's me

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

So I'm not sure whether this actually is a believable story or not but I think I'll just share the saddest moment in my life with you.

So.... I've been working with a boy 0.5years younger than me on a project in Java so he could learn something about programming. I was actually dictating him code because he wasn't able to JUST WRITE ONE SINGLE LINE OF CODE WITHOUT ASKING ME HOW TO DO SHIT!!! So I dictated him a for each loop:
Me: "for ( Foo foo colon foos ) {doSomeShit();}"
Him: "for ( Foo foo .. foos ) {doSomeShit();}
For your understanding: in German colon means doppel punkt / double dot. I didn't think someone actually writes two dots... THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD

Please don't blame me for being a bad teacher. I'm inn a class with him and I know we did that in class. I also thought it multiple times to him

So for context, I'm doing an Apprenticeship in IT and naturally I've been put on help desk.

I've recently been given a phone on my desk since I'm trusted enough and know enough about our software that there's no risk to me accepting calls.

I get the standard ones, a number from a different country, poorly pronouncing a co-workers name, asking if they can speak to them. I give my normal response, "I'll just check if they're in a meeting and I'll get back to you" (which they somehow always are) and ask if they would like to leave a message. They obviously don't since they're usually scams.

Since Tuesday I've started getting calls from "BT Technical Support". I don't use BT. My company doesn't use BT. So, it's clearly a scam.

Yesterday, the same guy calls me up, Thomas he says his name is. I go along with it for a while, agreeing that I've noticed our network has been slow until the point where he asks me to begin to install TeamViewer. I realise what he's going to do so I ask him what the problem with our network is.

I hear him start to respond but he stops. He's got no clue what to say, so I say to him, "Thomas mate. I think our biggest problem with our BT network is that we don't have BT."

He puts the phone down.

So I ask you for help, lovely people of devRant.

I have a Windows 10 VM ready to go. I have a couple notepad files labelled as "Passwords" and "Bank Details". What else can I throw on there to make this guy think he's hit the jackpot without really causing too much damage?

Any ideas would be appreciated. <3

me on my cover letter: i'm an experienced programmer
me irl: knows exactly two languages, has to google how to write basic methods

A friend of mine told me that he is now a developer !

I was happy, finally I found with who I can talk about this world..

I was wrong .. he added that he know how to code pograms in Basic Casio on his calculator.

I WAN'T TO DIEEEEEEE

Client gives me long talk about how important their website is to them. Repeatedly have to reassure them I know what I am doing. Still badger me about being super secure. Their password is the same as their username for their website hosting.

I have a tech lead interview next week, wish me luck!

Visual studio code is better than Vim.

Prove me wrong.

Android is gonna be the death of me. Any fucking idea you have is impossible to implement, because libraries with clear documentation are deprecated. If a library is not deprecated, however, it has documentation written by a fucking caveman who thinks it's extremely self explanatory on how to use something that is extremely application specific. Spent hours looking at Google example code that crashes almost immediately after execution, what a joke.

Gah gets me every time I open an image I want to share with friends on messages later.
Share dialog ain't cutting it.

Me: ok, time to archive this shit and publish :D
Xcode: ok. Archiving started
10min later archiving done

Publishing to app store connect,
5 min later, sorry, we can't publish this cuz u haven't changed the build number from 2 to 3¯\ _(ツ)_/¯

Me:😠ok, whatevs, let's do this, archive
Xcode: ok, archiving started
10min later, archiving done!
Me: click next to upload to app store connect, 5 min later...
XCODE: SORRY, U CAN ONLY PUBLISH ON XCODE GM'S TO APPSTORE CONECT

Me:😤 OMG, OK 3rd time is the charm...

So now xcode has started archiving, I hope nothing happens again 😬

I totally don't mind being asked to contribute to the improvement of the onboarding process while they just told me that they won't extend my contract and are gonna get someone else. that's totally fine.

Microshit is trying to kill me!

So I taught myself basic PHP in one day today after contemplating and realizing itll help me get the job I want. And i made a practice website with it today and im pretty proud of it so far.

Fucking hell.
Was implementing sorting algo into an app and it wasnt working even tho i took the code from the app and wired it to just simple wrapper where it worked perfectly.
This was really weird and fucked up.
After 5 hours and 30 times breaking the app just to test it i tried to launch it in Android VM.
And what a fucking suprise it worked.
Wait what ?
Ho .. How ?
Well it seems that my phone had SEpolicy fucked up which im happy that i found out about and it forced closed the app all the time because it was doing something not allowed so i disabled SElinux and it still doesnt work.
Now i was really confused so i took look at permissions and oh god i forgot to give it access to storage.
*/Turns on SElinux and gives it access to storage/*
Boom it works.
At this point i spent 10 hours debugging this piece of shit just to get the algo to work with the app and that isnt the best part.
I was doing this app for my dad since he wanted up for his job schedule and all the apps didnt met the requirement.
Then he walks up to me after i fixed it and says that he doesnt need it anymore since he found one app and did all the stuff and even more.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh FFFFFFFFFFS (For fuck fuck fuck....... sake)

So... I cannot find me an internship which uses low level languages ( like c, c++ ) or something like elixir, rust, haskell... the only internships available are in mobile and web development...

Don’t know what to do anymore... it’s annoying, and so so frustrating... and I NEED an internship if I wanna get a college degree...

About to start my real first Java project to learn the language in-depth: a virtual ATM featuring a GUI and a networking system for the transmission of banking data to and from a server. Since I particularly care about security this will surely help me get a better understanding of everything involved. Wish me luck.

GOD FUCKING KILL ME RIGHT THIS INSTANT!

1. ACCIDENTALLY HIT MY PC-CASE AND SOME SHITTY CABLE IS RUBBING AGAINST A FAN, I'LL HAVE TO TAKE THIS SHIT CASE APART!!

2. MY FUCKING LATEX DOCUMENT WONT COMPILE, GIVING ME ERRORS, YET, PASTING IT INTO FUCKING SHARELATEX, IT WORKS!!! I'LL HAVE RO DEBUG THAT PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT PDFTEX

I was debugging a new version of a calendar web app I've created, and was puzzled when the code for rendering calendar events was never hit...Till I realized, there are no calendar events this week in the dev environment. Silly me! *LOL*

Sometimes when I'm working on some front end stuff, I'll forget that I should look at the local file and instead look at the version online. I spend about 5 minutes every time figuring why it doesn't change before I realize just how stupid I am. It gets me every time. Every gosh diggity darn time.

Client is setting up Google Suite, needs me to create a TXT record. She sends me a screenshot of the record that needs to be created, so I ask her to copy/paste the record values .... she copy and pastes the URL and sends that to me. I ask again for her to copy the values in the fields on the page and send them to me ... she sends me another screenshot. How do these people get through a day?

Hey! would you like me to teach you some Ajax? I can make it both fun and nutricious!

So... Lots of rants about hacking.
Let me yell you a story...
Two decades ago I was asked to fix the school library computers and block then from using mIRC.
I cleaned all the machines, reinstalled the pirate copy of windows I was provided, blocked installing programs, blocked running of programs except the ones required (office, Netscape) and vnc in every computer, that I could access in a off-site computer.
Next day all the computers had mIRC... Just to show how kids are smart... Someone changed the MIRC.exe to iexplore.exe and that way could execute any program he wanted...
Invisible hard drive? Just use command line (so he could copy mIRC to a hidden folder)
Still, scared lots of kids, wen watching porn and a message would pop up , asking to not watch porn in school, but never couth the guy

Mom: Give me one single reason why won't you do MBA?
Me: People there won't get my jokes on computers, and it will be all like high school again 😭😭😭

Me: *gets a payout from my old job*
Me: ahhh now to spoil myself, let's get some pixel buds and a day dream set and maybe a nice bottle of whiskey.

eBay: YO! We have that MacBook you've been looking for going really cheap at the moment!

Me: ... I hate myself...

Why does stuff always go on sale when I've spent my money ;-;

Someone asked me about Ruby vs Python.

The flashbacks regarding the python vs ruby wars started to kick in man.

I always liked Ruby faaaaar more than Python. And find Rails to be a far superior alternative to Django as the web framework champion from each side and Sinatra far more enjoyable than flask as the micro framewor champion on each side goes.

But this guy is very math oriented and likes the idea of data science for which Ruby has a disadvantage in terms of available ecosystems.

You can't take my blocks and dsls from me tho. I will fight for them.

When i interviewed, my employer told me that they were fine with me using linux at work. "No problem" they said. Today, the CTO called me into his office and told me not to bring my computer back to the office again, we're a Mac shop.

Guess I'll have to comply, but what the fucking hell?

I hate Macs so, so much.

Microwave: Beep! Beep! Beep!

Me: Did something beeped?

Friend: You.

Me: 😨

Me after using Prolog for 6 hours because of University...
Sometimes prolog gives me brainfuck (pun intended)

Some """friend""" of mine asked me help because he has trouble installing WAMP on a Linux distro.

Me: why don't you try to install a LAMP server instead, you are on Linux, you can do whatever you want.

Him: LAMP is not a thing, this doesn't exist, there's no package called like that.

Me: *sends a tutorial to setup a web dev server*

Him: You are so unhelpful, why are you disrespectful like that ?!?

Me: *having some murder thoughts*

Why do I still reply to these people ?

Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.

Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...

Ransomware has the effect to destroying data and my will to live.

I come in to work yesterday to see everyone panicking. We got hit by WannaCry. The boss is with IT dealing with it and sends all of us home. No biggie, since all of my work data is backed up on an offsite server.

I come back into work to still see everyone in a frenzy. I think they are still overreacting to the attack, so I go to my corner in the office. I boot up to see the Ubuntu logo, which is a huge problem, not for me of course, but for everyone else who can barely work Windows. I barge in on my boss and ask him why the fuck is Ubuntu on the PC's.

He replies, "I looked it up, Linux is not affected by viruses".

What the fuck is wrong with people? After I tell him to revert back to Windows because he's being a fucking retard, he goes ahead to send all of us home.

I can only hope he doesn't install Zorin or Elementary because I will quit.

(Dev)Life in the past 12 hours

Oh boy have the last 12 hours been a roller coaster ride for me. Noob me decided to "compile" AoSP for my device to get a taste of how custom ROMs are built from source. Overall it was fun but the errors were a very good excercise for googling, SO. Couple stuff I learnt ( possibly useful for anyone who comes here )
* The shebang line ( #!/usr/bin/env python ) on my system translated to Python 3.7 environment instead of the expected Python 2.7. Best solution I think to avoid confusion is to create a python 2.7 environment and source it.
* Get your trees right. A jar file called WfdCommon.jar ( apparently known as wifi-display common ) was the cause of several hours of hunting the fault. My vendor tree somehow didn't have this file so dex2oat was borking out like mad. I'm still amazed how I figured this one out almost by myself. ( Basically I had to check every file included in the boot class path, and find the odd one )
* I wasted a lot of time in finding the right files to change version numbers and all. Maybe I didn't search XDA properly for a guide ?

Overall it was a fun experience. Also if anyone's experienced in this area could you share resources to learn more about custom ROM development? Specifically on the tweaking part where you mix features from different ROMs to make a great ROM ( like AoSP extended or Pixel Experience ). All I could find were on the zips and not on sources.

fuck this!
spent an hour trying get my website working (on a raspberry) ... no errors, dev tools gave nothing, php gives nothing mySQL related... weird.. debugged my code for an hour when it me... db on my pc for testing is not the same one as the "production" server. i am so fucking stupid... i need some sleep

Starting to get really hyped about how my book is progressing, thinking about starting to put some promotional items and desk tat together...

Oh lord I'm a better author than a dev, someone slap me...

(I'm slightly terrified that it might actually get finished and may have fans so my mind is sort of melting into sludge and I hide it behind excitement)

!rant

Wish me luck. I am done with the spaghetti mess.

There is a stock management system written using laravel and jQuery. There are mistakes in database structure. There are lots of I-dont-know-what-this-function-do-so-i-should-leave-it-alone codes. There are lots of repeated and duplicated functions.

Gonna start things from scratch and will also start using vue. This week's Thursday and Friday are public holidays here. I hope I can code my ass off and finish the migration/refactoring/cleaning shit by Sunday.

Past me was an idiot

Actuall live footage of me trying to install and configure VMware to work on arch at the moment...

(I might be a little fucking frustrated)

me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy

me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more*

I can't login ffs
I don't care that it shows an impossible number of characters honestly, but I don't get why that should prevent me from logging in to any of these servers

For that matter, why the fuck is number of characters a signed int?

Freelance Headhunters...

No idea where they got my name and the number of my work phone...

- they do not give a damn and call me 1045 am to discuss "EXCITING BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES™"

- they are sure I am having a case of stockholm syndrome, because I could NEVER be satisfied in my current employment

- they call every other day with a new number and start the same process again

How fucking dense can people get?

I really don't know how to please StackOverflow people. I did my due diligence on a bit of code but, like we all do, I got stuck and needed a bit of advice. I posted clearly and concisely and still my question got downvoted twice. What do they want? For me to post the question AND the answer? Only ask Ph.D.-type questions? Why am I never good enough for these people?!

normal people:
EAT SLEEP RAVE REPEAT
me:
EAT SLEEP CODE REPEAT

Is it only me who wonders why the "iPhone X" is called "iPhone 10"?

I'm living in the twilight zone...
These people upload and download an entire directory of files from microsoft teams as their way of version control...

And what's worse they're dragging their feet on changing over to git/github

God save me

!rant

Alright, the Internet has failed me and even the mighty Amazon is proving useless in my quest for a new laptop bag. I request your aid brothers!

My old targus backpack has died a death and I need a new bag. I would prefer a messenger bag/cross body bag of some kind with enough space for a small laptop, a book, notepad, water bottle, mouse, tablet and all of the other pointless necessities I may desire (gotta carry the rubber duck somwhow) but my search and returned nothing but fancy stylish "slimline" bullshit.

I NEED PRACTICALITY AND WATERPROOF GOD DAMN IT!

Can you help a fellow nerd?

My current boss and soon to be on-site boss marked me as 'God of Code'.

Is that good/normal/bad?

I don't know what's wrong with me this morning. I started refactoring, and I know I'm overdoing it. I can't stop myself. I'm stuck fiddling over it like a meth head scratching his skin.

Please stop me. I'm hurting the code.

Stuff that irritates me.

When company says they will reimburse you for move they are requiring you to make, but doesn't pay you enough to make the move in the first place.

Want to read a book that can help me avoid newb mistakes and can help me write beautiful code ?

Pragmatic programmer(1999)
Or
Clean code
Or
any other book ?
Help me !!?

Me: Do you already have a live USB stick for Windows?
Brother: You mean a dead USB stick, because Windows hasnt got that feature?!

I don't like WordPress. But my boss want me to do WordPress website...

God save me, I have to write UI unit testing tomorrow

I drank too much last night. I was scared shitless since I really can't deal with hungovers and I am not supposed to drink a lot because of my stomach condition.

Mind you, for me, 8 beers is a lot(drank them in about 2 hours) and went to sleep. I was not all fucked up or anything, i was very lucid and scared of what i was going to deal with.

As i was trying to relax, my psychosis kicked in and I can swear that a little voice told me to calm down, i have been working out like if I was about to fight McGregor and my metabolism is through the roof(which is sometimes alarming) and that I will be good by morning.

Woke up at 11 feeling like a million bucks.

Devs: Early birds or night owls?

Me: Definitelly night owl, can not wake up before 10 and sometimes working till morning. I know it is bad for health but I can not help myself. Being much more creative and productive at night.

Some prankster on upwork is trying to swindle me out of paying me because they didn't "hire" me through upwork even though he asked me to send an "example" of my rendition of what I would do for their logo. Once they told me they went with someone else even after performing the requested "example," I promptly asked who to invoice. "They're going to go talk to the boss and see what they can work out."

My productivity has gone fucking low.
I have hundreds of things ti do , Prepare for exams, write code for my internship project,write code for my game, learn new things about ML,etc.
But all I fuckin do is play games all day instead of making mine!

Plz help, give me some words of encouragement or tell me something that you do to boost your productivity and keep away from distractions !

Almost done with my personal business website... kill me? Plz. I’ll pay.

!rant
Launch time wish me luck!

I’m tired of being put in positions where design gives me a rough mock-up a week (or less) before its launch day. It’s frustrating and I’m tired.

MacKenzie, marry me!

Apple, next time you want to get me to upgrade my file system, please FUCKING TELL ME IT WONT LET ME INSTALL WINDOWS USING BOOTCAMP, 9 hours and I’ve only just found the file system that will let me run Adobe Cloud and Windows

I think Amazon ads won't leave me until i install their app!

So I am only 15 and I am trying to find local businesses that will allow me to either build them a website or let me redo their current website.

Doesnt sound thay complicated right? I have gotten to do it once, for a laid back coffee shop owner whos business went out of business a day after i emailed him about it being done. I mean how the hell does that even happen!

I have tried different types of emails and shown all of my work, which it is all good sites that look professional. Issue is alot of people dont trust email offers or dont trust me cause im 15. I am not much of a person who can walk into a store and talk to the owner about it, i am not social in that aspect.

So anyone have any ideas?

Today I spilt a glass of water onto my palm. As I was shaking the hand of a senior executive. He looked at me in disgust as our hands squelched together.

So it's not just through reading your own code later that you can realize how stupid you are. All the great card house of the belief in your own superiority collapsing instantly.
Currently intense time with my son. Can be hard being around one another 24h non-stop... And then realizing that a lot of the stubbornness and quirks of his that drive me crazy: is actually me! (Be it that it's in my character as well or he was reacting to a stupidness of mine)

Ugh! I'm in unfinished project Hell. Three website owners need me to finish big features and I just keep uncovering bugs and feature gaps. So much anxiety about all of it.

var myLove =0;
var myLife = 'you';

if(yourHeart =='Me'){
myLove =+1;
else {
myLife = null;
myLove = undefined;
}

!rant

Been here since 2/2017 and didn't make myself an avatar. I feel ashamed.

Edit: I hate the MM/DD/YYYY format. More shame on me that I did not notice it was in retard format.

so i have to practice on codewars for homework and my code.. doesnt work! what a surprise. i was wondering if anyone could tell me whats wrong since yall are professionals. its probably a stupid mistake. this is the challenge: Implement a method that excepts three integer values a, b, c. The message return true if a triangle can be built with the sides of given length and false in any other case.

Wish my 3 project managers would realize when everything is a P1, nothing is.

Spent the last 2 and a half days working on sth, it turned out great. Was pointed out a major mistake in the structure, have to redo about 95%. Kill me now.

First day back at my old workplace and the guy who replaced me as storeman is going to put me in an early grave...

Literally all of the work I put in over the past year and a bit is gone...

Welp... Let's hope I can get a higher up position soon so I can fix this shit heap .-.

Man... I got a really good story to make a visual novel game but its way too art heavy for me... anyone who can illustrate or atleast good at drawing?

The internet at large is annoying me.

I just signed up for the payback card through Rewe. Cool idea. It's a German points card, and I have an American phone. Play store tells me the app isn't available in my country, and I don't see it on fdroid.

Anyone have suggestions for a reliable apk site to get this from?

Yay my avatar is there!
It even looks pretty similar to me.
It wasnt that expensive as well 😁

A little reflection on the relationship between me/my dad/computer:

When i was younger my dad showed and taught me how to work on his (10 - 15yrs+ old) laptop running windows xp. Soon we got a simple desktop pc (those ones that took nearly a minute to start). i remember my dad sayin something like "don't download anything cause (the pc will brake/it will be a virus/...)", I don't remember exactly ... but i know that i still did it (being fucking nervous😅) and it went well😌. later me and my little sister would go to "spielaffe.de" several times until getting some kind of "virus"😅😅.
Time passed and i got passionate about pc's (programming, trying Ubuntu, reading about internals of a pc,...). It didn't take long that i passed my dad's knowledge and so here i am studying CS😎.
In the end, regarding my dad:
first he was the master i looked up to, then he became the buddy i talked to and asked for problems, then ... he remained the light user who would like to return to his windows xp era and asks me first as his personal google when something happens out of his "comfort-zone"😅😌.
And sometimes i believe my dad is becoming incompetent for pc's😂😅

The real life of me as a trainee developer:

New system works locally but fails to work in production and dev.

Proceeds at futile attempts to debug for hours to find out that my connection strings in the transforms were nested inside logging.