—_(*_*)_—

If you cannot lotion yourself

Best debugger: A perfect sleep

Best debugger: a shower

1995: Viruses create funny VGA effect
2000: Viruses send SPAM e-mails
2010: Viruses steal credentials
2016: Viruses launch DDoS attacks
2017: Viruses demand ransom
2018: Viruses mine crypto coins

Me: This is totally gonna work

Compiler: u tried

As a programmer, I'm outraged.

Get ready to change the copyright year in the footer if it's not dynamic.

Who wants more devRant cartoons?

When you are programming and you feel philosophical

It's so good, to have a CEO who is an engineer and has coded in the past.

As you might guess, this leads to rational requests and expectations.

Friend: What is your New Year's resolution??

Me: 7680×4320

Friend: Stupid Nerd. *Walks aways*

I just can’t imagine it.

( ._.) “Hey dude, I code. Do you?”
(.-. ) “Same”
( ._.) “Friends?”
(.-. ) “Friends”

When your code game is strong

You know what I hate? When people don't listen to me.
You know what I love? When shit blows up in their faces because they didn't listen to me

I'll just tell the client it's where developers go to complain about difficult bugs in their code...

Would suck to be a programmer in NK

75% of the dev team resigns (incl. myself) Boss proclaims: -"Business as usual!"

Massachusetts Institute of Technology (@MIT ) should consider giving scholarships to eveyone who can pronounce and spell Massachusetts correctly.

Found in learn Python the hard way.😂

😁😁😁

0 public contributions because everything is closed source at Apple.

my favourite christmas song

A QA engineer walks into a bar, and orders a beer.
Then he orders 0 beers.
Then he orders 99999999999 beers.
Then he orders an ahzuzydhu.
Then he orders nothing.
Then he orders -1 beers.
Thrn he orders NULL.
Thrn he orders jzuzuj beers.
Then he orders a "<script>giveMeYourCreditCard()</script>"
Finally, he leaves without paying, comes back and asks for the tab.

Heard this one a while ago and wanted to share it here 🙃

Anyone else? 😂

Got the other devs in my office their own debugging rubber duckies.

Just shaved my beard and immediately regretted it. I look like a snail now... And my Linux skills are gone...

Skills: JavaScript, PHP, Ruby, Python, Java, C++, Go, Perl

Meaning: I wrote"Hello world" in each of these.

This is true.

Why don't keyboards sleep? Because they have two shifts HUEHUEHUE