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CEO: You need to use git.
Designer: No
CEO: You can backup stuff.
Designer: No
CEO: You don't have to save copies!
Designer: No
CEO: You will use a really cool command line!
Designer: No
CEO: It has unlimited storage
Designer: So when we start?19 -
Meeting with asshole partner company CEO at restaurant.
Me: "I'm a bit worried about the bugs in your API. There are some ways to retrieve privacy sensitive info from public endpoints"
CEO: "Well, we're a rapidly growing startup!"
Me: "Uh... so?"
CEO: "So... Move Fast and Break Things! Priority is to improve our API further, and we'll fix bugs as they show up"
Me: "Maybe you should stop trying to emulate Zuckerberg in your management style. You know that even Facebook themselves admitted that their slogan was a retarded mistake"
Waiter shows up at table. CEO orders some overly expensive fish salad.
CEO: "Well, they have done something right... they're worth billions"
Waiter asks me: "And you sir, have you made your choice?"
Me: "Do you serve popcorn?"
CEO: "Popcorn for lunch?"
Me: "No, for your congressional hearing"16 -
CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"
CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"10 -
In a Skype meeting with a possible new employer.
Unlocks door after meeting and opens door. There stands my current CEO.
"You're locking your door?"
"Yep." *runs away*
Almost shit myself 😂13 -
The CEO asks God:
"God, how much time do you need to create the earth?"
God: "uh, 10 billion years I think"
CEO: " You have only 7 days. Well 6, the last one is to fix everything gone wrong after deploying"
And here we are6 -
Heard a CEO say at a conference that they hire the most competent candidate. Unless there is a woman in the candidates. Then they hire the woman.
That seems pretty sexist to me.33 -
On the last working day of our CEO.
CEO: As a software company, if we are to build an airplane would you ride on the airplane that we built?
Everyone was silent.
Me at the back of my head: I'll ride. I know for sure that the airplane will never start.9 -
Large corporation. CEO tells everyone to attend this mandatory meeting via the internet.
I work remotely. I can't log in, meeting is full. But our colleagues have made a parallel meeting just for us in the meantime, where I could hear them make fun of the meeting, which is basically the CEO showing some Powerpoint slides to a room with 10 people. Nobody can either see the slides (bad camera or connection) or hear the CEO (crap microphone). 1000+ people watching this "mandatory" meeting that lasted for an hour. Nobody had any idea what it was about in the end. Just slides and muffled voices. -
1. Start working in company that is celebrating something the same day you start new job.
2. Make sure they invite you.
3. Get drunk hard before event.
4. Puke on a CEO during his opening speech.
Mission accomplished you’re now a legend.8 -
So after learning to code myself for about 9 months.
A local agency CEO reached out and offered me a junior position!
Happy days!4 -
Developed an android app for the client. It was going great. Prototype for the initial (and static) content to show to the client was on the way. All until...
*goes back in time to when we were developing the prototype*
The asshole boss: "Wow this is good, just remove the login after the splash screen. Redirect it to the dashboard immediately."
Me: "What? Why?"
TAB: "He (the CEO of our company) said that the client doesn't need to see the login."
Me: "Well, alright." (Orders are orders, better remove it)
*A few days later, we present the prototype to the CEO. He'll be the one talking to the client. TAB isn't in this meeting.*
CEO: "Where is the login screen?"
Me: *dumbfounded and confused, in silence, and pressure rising*
The Good Boss: *whispers* "Where is the login screen? I thought I told you guys it should be there."
Me: *whispers* "TAB told us to remove it."
TGB: *Looks toward CEO* "TAB told us to remove it."
CEO: "Ugh. TAB is sick."
A little giggle. Nonetheless the meeting continued. He was displeased. I was a little guilty. The login screen's code was already there. Just couldn't show it since the app doesn't redirect there anymore.
*A discussion after the meeting*
TGB: "Why'd you guys remove the login?"
Me: "You and TAB had a meeting with the CEO the other day. After the discussion TAB went to us and told us to change it."
TGB: "But the CEO said no such thing! Anyway, let's go back to the office and straighten this out tomorrow."
*The next day, TAB was in the office*
TGB: *Chatting on messenger with me* "He is completely denying it."
Me: "WHAT?"
TGB: "He said he never told you guys anything. And he is persistent. I kept telling him it was his fault, but he denies all of it. He never approached you guys to change anything."
Me: "Well yeah. I guess we magically thought to ourselves and said, 'Hey, let's remove the login screen for fun. Let's show them less content because that's how we please our clients!' -_-"
Seriously, what kind of assholefuckery is this. This shit is a whole new level. I am so TRIGGERED.
I don't really care that the meeting didn't go as planned. Just MAN UP AND ADMIT YOUR MISTAKE YOU FILTHY SON OF A GOOSE. Never listening to this asshole again. Thought he could be trusted. I will always ask my good boss next time.18 -
Today we were all called into a meeting and the CEO was livid. He went on a rage about how the CTO was wasting money on useless shit (GitHub Enterprise). He said I bought laptops for a reason if there’s a fire someone better protect our assets and code. He wouldn’t reason with us and went into github and deleted everything. The CTO was fired and no one is leading our team. Wondering if I should quit 😶
29 -
Work at a pro Microsoft company.
CEO wants an app so I explain that we will need a Mac to build the apple version of the apps. Refuses to buy us a Mac. For two years this goes on. Out of nowhere a new employee asks for the same Mac and the CEO goes out and buys $2000 without even thinking. We fought to the nail for a Mac for two years so we could do our job...they get one just for being new. My entire team feels completely insulted and betrayed15 -
October - Hired
November - Hear that CEO 2 was stealing the company money
December - Dismissing 6 persons. CEO 1 says to me that, since I'm the last hired, I'll be the first dismissed.
March - Company doesn't get better. Dismissing 3 persons... still there.
May - Company doesn't get better. Dismissing 2 persons... still there.
July - Company doesn't get better. Dismissing 9 persons... still there.
Now, with the remaining money the company should live for about 2 years and not dismiss employees anymore.
We were 25 employees, where are 4 now. I feel like the winner of Survivor.10 -
How to get funded in 21st century
CEO: we have an AR/VR/MR company that uses an AI that writes AI & we run on blockchain
What do they actually do: WordPress Bitch 🤣🤣🤣2 -
The CEO at the company I work at has been telling our partners that our PIA is ready. It took me a week to figure out what the hell a PIA was but he actually meant API6
-
One of our CEO: “we dont have the internet speed that we have paid for - I will check it out”
Developers: “please dont, remember last time?”
CEO: “the net will only be down for a couples of minuts”
Developers: “please dont touch anything, and do it after hours”
1 hour later we still dont have the internet restored.
FML!6 -
Rubber duck company meeting in 1998:
Okay folks, our sales are plummeting, we need new ideas... NOW!
Employee: Let's brainwash developers! Make them think our ducks magically solve their debugging issues....
Other employees: *rofl*
CEO: Brilliant, let's do that.3 -
Beep bop, I’m a bot.
Future CEO of GitHub Nat Friedman made an AMA on Reddit to respond to questions about the future of GitHub.
Of course, Clippy came up.
Source: https://reddit.com/r/AMA/...
6 -
Newspaper: This CEO is one of the top entrepreneurs in the country, a true tech visionary shaping the future.
--- 3 months previous ---
Lead dev: O2 have said they are will pre-install the app on all their Androids but they need documentation from us.
CEO: documentation? on what?
Lead dev: Our unit test coverage, bugs found / fixed, security scan results, performance assessment, if and where its storing any data etc.
CEO: Ah were not doing any of that crap, bloody unit tests, its not necessary, tell them no.
lead dev: ..... eh ok
O2: *approved*
... true visionary, well done to everyone involved.3 -
Me 5 years ago : "Guys we are gonna have a perf..."
CEO : "Not now, we need to deliver that functionality asap"
Me 3 years ago : "Guys, performances/scalibiluity will hit us like a trucK'
CEO : "Not nowem a new functionality needs to be done ASAP"
Me 1 year ago : "We are gonna be hit by a tank. We won't even understand what happens"
CEO : "I'm sure we can manage"
2 Days ago : Plateform quasiment down, response time in MIONUTES instead of milliseconds, database on fire.
CEO : "WHAT THE FUCK !!! GO FIXC I ASAP WE CANNOT HAVE THAT SHIT HAPPEN".
This is a brief summaru of working in a startup.9 -
Act I
Me (Lead Developer), Boss (Head of IT), CEO
> enter stage left CEO
CEO > "Alright Boss, give it to me straight. Are we going to be able to release app x by this date?"
Boss > "Yup we'll have a beta release on that date"
> exit stage right CEO
Me > types long email to Boss outlining exactly why we won't be able to release app x anywhere near that date, beta or otherwise, because:
1. We have a development team of 2
2. I've never developed an iOS app before
3. Developer 2 is still trying to understand git, because
3a. Developer 2 isn't even a developer (but he's doing iOS front-end so w/e)
4. We don't have the required database systems in place
5. Or CRM
6. Or CPQ
7. We'll need to conduct a security audit
Boss > "yeah, but CEO is gonna need to hear that date a few more times before he can fully understand"
Me > *internally screaming BUT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM THAT AT ALL*
"ok cool just glad we're on the same page on that one"5 -
Ill join in - Our CEO and CTO insist that we can make an AI that can recognize emotions and feelings through Python, R, and some MySQL... mind you, with a team of unpaid interns....
Im sorry, but Id love some of whatever the fuck they are smoking.12 -
I had an interview yesterday with the CEO of a startup going into Series A for the position of Principal Developer, remote. I've only ever heard of 'tech-bros', but I was unfortunate to meet one in-person. It went something like this:
CEO-bro: Good morning.
Me: Morning.
CEO-bro: It says here on your resume you live in X. That place is a shithole, and I have to look down on you because of that, bro. LoL.
Me: ......
(40 minutes of self-promotion pass)
CEO-bro: Anyway, we don't pay high salaries but offer bonuses for high performing staff instead. I'll ask HR to send you an offer.
Me: Let me think about it.
CEO-bro: One question bro. You have siblings?
Me: One.
CEO-bro: Parents still alive?
Me: No...what?!
CEO-bro: Yeah, me too. People like us don't let anything get in the way.
I wrote them an email this morning withdrawing my application 🤦🏽♂️11 -
CEO: Can you make this and this
Me: Yes!
CEO: That's great, you can start working on that
Me: coding ... testing ... coding ... finished
CEO: Great it works, but can you explain to me what are the benefits of this
Me: ..... (why did you ask in the first place)8 -
When your boss asks for a web application that has drag and drop, resize, popup, fade inand out, dynamic styling and mobile compatibility but must work on IE8
You feel like:
Mission: Go to the moon
Tools: Broom's stick
Yeah i'll just pretend to be a witch and fly away7 -
Got bought these by our CEO today as a way of him saying thank you. Means a lot to get such recognition from someone you look up to.
12 -
I'm your CEO
This is our monolithic full stack JavaScript Saas
This is our legacy code
And Welcome to jackass.1 -
CEO once thought it would be hilarious to give everyone Christmas bonuses in the form of little brown paper bags filled with fifteen hundred $1 bills.
Was a little awkward trying to deposit. 👯♂️3 -
Today the CEO called a meeting with our team just to get to know us personally and have some friendly chat. These meetings are to become a regular thing. Seems like he really cares about his employees.11
-
So there's this annoying colleague who loves to call me (My work phone) at 3 am, so I decided to adjust some settings to forward the calls to the CEO.
aha!! , in the meeting CEO point it out, and yes, finally company set a rule that no work calls after working hours....13 -
My CTO told the COO and CEO i'd be finished SOC2 compliance by the end of December... On December 14th.
It takes 3 months to do the audit, let alone all the actual work. I hadn't even started yet.
He was fired shortly after that.7 -
So my CEO wants me to move to architecting systems!!!!!!!! My dream since a kid !!!
It seems like a mad job where you're a crazy scientist 😂
What should I read or do to be better ? -
And the award for the most ridiculous article in tech goes to...
http://m.thehindubusinessline.com/i...
This article is an interview of the CEO of one of the biggest companies in India
15 -
Hi ceo_candidate:
Welcome to CEO 101:
Q: How do you impress shareholders?
A: Without understading any processes, I cut down half of the IT team, saving a few 100k a year. Adding stress to the remaining team that now has to maintain lots of extra stuff. But, who cares? I still will expect my deliverables on time.
That is correct!
Achievement unlocked: Advanced CEO Practices6 -
CEO had a meeting with the Dev team today and it went a little like this..
CEO: You guys shouldn't be doing any Googling. You should know everything about building websites.
Me(in my head of course): GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!7 -
» Microsoft announced today that it’s joining the Linux Foundation as a platinum member, no less than 15 years after former CEO Steve Ballmer described the open source platform as “a cancer.” «
Oh well.2 -
!!office drama
I haven't been around much in recent weeks. Due to family illness, christmas shopping, dealing with estranged parents, and brooding over the foregoing, I haven't had a lot of time or energy left to myself.
tl;dr: The CTO ("API Guy") is ostensibly getting fired, and I might be taking over his job. I don't know if I should accept, try to stave this off, or simply flee.
------
Anyone who has been following my recent rants knows that API Guy is my boss, and he often writes terrible code. It's solid and unbreakable, but reading it is a *nightmare.* One of our applications is half the length of Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, and it's difficult to tell what code is live and what amounts to ancient, still-active landmines. This is one application; we have several, most of which I've never even looked at.
Ostensibly the code is so terrible because the company grew extremely quickly, and API Guy needed to cram in lots of unexpected / planned-against features. From what I can see, that seems about right, but I haven't checked timeframes [because that's a lot of work!].
Here's a brief rundown of the situation.
- API Guy co-founded the company with the CEO.
- CEO and API Guy have been friends for a long time.
- CEO belives the company will fail with API Guy as head of tech.
- They could just be testing me; I have zero way of knowing. API Guy seems totally oblivious, and CEO seems sincere, so this feels pretty doubtful.
- CEO likes pushing people around. CEO believes he can push me around. API Guy doesn't budge. (I probably won't, either, except to change task priorities.)
- API Guy's code is huge and awful, but functional.
- API Guy is trying to clean up the mess; CEO doesn't understand (maybe doesn't care).
- Literally nobody else knows how the code works.
- Apart from API Guy and myself, the entire company is extroverted sales people.
- None of these sales people particularly like me.
- Sales people sell and sell and sell without asking development if they can pull enough magic features out of their hat to meet the arbitrary saleslines. (because the answer is usually no)
- If I accept, I would be the sole developer (at first) and responsible for someone else's mountain of nightmarish code, and still responsible for layering on new features at the same pace as he. Pay raise likely, but not guaranteed.
- My getting the position is contingent upon the CEO and the investors, meaning it's by no means guaranteed.
- If I don't accept, likely API Guy will be replaced with someone else of unknown ability, who doesn't know the code, and whom I must answer to regardless. Potentially OK, potentially a monumental disaster.
Honestly, it feels like I'm going to be screwed no matter what course I choose.
Perhaps accepting is slightly better?
The best would be to assume the position of CTO and keep API Guy around -- but that would feel like an insult to him. I doubt he'd be okay with it. But maybe. Who knows? I doubt the CEO would seriously consider that anyway.
I feel like a lamb between a dim, angry rhino, and an oblivious one.23 -
MFW I get told “It can’t be that hard, can it?” by the CEO after my team of 4 developers and I couldn’t manage to develop a fully deployable app in a month outside of our real jobs & schooling
12 -
Came to work and there ware my boss and CEO waiting there next to my place.
"Hey, you remember that you mentioned yesterday that you had a break through and the thing is finally starting to do something? We have few journalist downstairs can we show them a demo in like five minutes?"
"Ok, give me five minutes and don't click here and there otherwise it blows up."
My boss came back from presentation after ten minutes that it doesn't work, after little investigation turns out to be hw issue, replaced hardware went to the conference room and it worked.
Crazy deadlines? No, just another day at work. -
Once, at my first job, the CEO of the company sent a group email in which he essentially lambasted my ability to do my job.
I wasn't even hired as a programmer, I was a data entry guy who learned how to code on the job, and at this point I was literally the only person writing code for the company. I regularly worked 12+ hours every day, and even though I had to learn practically everything on my own I was still getting things done -- at least, I would have gotten things done if the CEO didn't keep pulling me off of my projects to work on whatever his latest ultra-important-idea-of-the-week was. I was even working for an 8 hr/day, 5 day/week salary, putting in extra hours for free.
But no, my sacrifices and hard work weren't good enough in the CEO's eyes, and he chose to say that to multiple people in an email, including investors in our startup. I don't remember exactly what was said, but whatever it was made me so livid I couldn't do any work; every time I sat down to code, I thought about that email and it so infuriated me that I couldn't concentrate. It took me twelve hours just to calm down enough to get back to coding.
After that, I refused to communicate with the CEO except through my boss, the CTO.7 -
So razer just launched their new game store and the CEO accidentally posted a code which gave you 50% off xD
Talk about having a bad day
11 -
New company moved in above us... Slogan : Blockchain, AI, Augmented reality and banking apps.....
Dude come on thee must be a buzzword CEO3 -
our HR made a survey about home office and how people think about coming back to office in the future. Shortly afterwards, our new CEO sent us an e-mail saying that he would like to see more employees in the office again soon. After all, it is paid for and must therefore be used. Of course, it's better for everyone to commute 2 hours to work every day, and last year home office worked well for everyone.
Personally, I can do without constantly sitting with my colleagues in a noisy office where 10 people are on the phone at the same time.
Bonus: In his opinion, software is better when it has more LOC.
Bonus2: Last working day for me is end of September. After that I start my new job with 43 days vacation per year :D10 -
My most ridiculous meeting was a meeting that I couldn't attend.
When I was working as a freelancer my companies CEO and me were invited by a client from another country (6 hours flight & hotel).
The meeting was scheduled for the day after our arrival.
After breakfast the CEO told me he would pick me up at the hotel lobby at 2pm. I waited for some hours, but he didn't come.
Later that day he told me that he met with the client already at 10am.
I am sure he told me the wrong time, because he was afraid that the client would try to headhunt me.4 -
Today the CEO asked us to create KPIs to follow a junior tasks, daily.
The problem it's he wants KPIs to foretell problems or delays in his tasks.
The junior is analyzing 14 years old C++ code, made by an electrical engineer who had all worsts practices possible when coding.
We explained that we couldn't make real, true KPI that would foretell the advancement due to complexity of the legacy and the fact that the junior had NEVER USED C++.
SO.... He asked to know how many code lines he made daily and an estimate of how many lines he'll have to do to complete the task.... So he could foretell advancement.
....
....
It was the 5th time in less than 60 days, that the CEO bypass totally the CTO to ask some stupid useless shit. So now all developpers have resign, complaining about the CEO actions/stupidity.2 -
Manager: How to make successful product?
CEO: Just Add words like Machine learning and Ai
Newbie developers: Takes 10$ udemy course without statistical and probabilistic knowledge, after 1 week believes himself to have "Expertise in ML,AI and DL"
HR: Hires the newbie
*Senior Developer Quits*6 -
Our CEO/Boss thought up a new idea for an App
Boss: I got a new idea, i dont know what it is, but its very easy. How long you can do it?
Us: •.•3 -
Admin comes to my desk and says:
"Hey the CEO wants to know why is the third party application having issues with our system? He wants you to keep me posted on the matter and let us know when will you fix it."
Me:
"Well I'm working on it, we're having a discussion on Slack about it and I'm quite busy right now"
Admin: "Yeah OK but when will you fix it? The CEO wants to know why didn't you reply yesterday"
Me: "Because I was on leave? You would have known if you saw my calendar"
Admin: "oh well, can you keep me updated with how things go?"
Me: "You can join the Slack channel if you want..."
What the f*CK is wrong with people? Do they even know what vacation time means? Why would the CEO ask the admin to talk to me when I'm sitting two rows from him?3 -
PM: Ok Android, i've reviewed the latest build, you are good to release. Waiting on iOS's build to test.
Me: ... are we not holding all builds until we hear back from backend about that bug?, as we likely have to change something on our side?
PM: Which bug?
Me: ... the only one we discussed yesterday in the team meeting.
PM: How many customers is it affecting?
Me: that we know of, one ... the CEO of our company
PM: oh that one, yeah were not doing that anymore.
Me: WHAT? i've been waiting all day / night to hear back. Why are we not doing this?
PM: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ... Everything is too messy at the minute anyway, the release plan is changing every day. Need to keep it back in line.
Me: ... the plan has changed exactly once. We had a plan at the start of last week for the last release, we changed it YESTERDAY to include 2 critical bug fixes. The only issue with the plan changing is nobody telling us these aren't bugs anymore
PM: We can discuss tomorrow in the team meeting.
CEO: oh hey guys, yeah we pulled that bug fix. Its not really a bug, more like a missing feature. No way it will get done before xmas. Going to live with the way it works for now and fix it properly next year.
Me: Ok, fair enough, but we really need to be told these decisions.
CEO: sure, sorry, didn't think anyone was blocked by this. What was the blocker?
Me: ..... you asked me yesterday to get this bug fix in the build ... you asked for the final build to be made today so we can go through the app store review. As we all discussed yesterday, today is kind of the last day we can really do this.
CEO: ok, its late, we can discuss this tomorrow in the team meeting.
Me: ..... ..... ..... ..... sure7 -
Once a CEO is 24*7 a CEO. For me it's Chief Experiment Officer
And only dreamers can have that title. One who dreams at night and work it out the following day.
Having a startup is much more than just having an idea
It's about revenue,
It's about value,
It's about team,
It's about impact,
It's about growth,
It's about compliance,
It's about being finance, marketing, HR and tech expert at the same time.
It's about respect the supporters,
At the end it's about the money you earn as an individual.
For playing all the above roles, you need to dream real big.
To me startup is about falling in love with your work first.
-
By an Indian CEO2 -
Although I dislike Microsoft tremendously, I had faith that they wouldn't be stupid enough to fuck up Github. Until I just read an article that the new CEO of Github will be the former CEO and co-founder of Xamarin, who says he wants to "make Github better at being Github".
A hybrid tool creator wants to make Github better. Ladies and gentlemen, we are fucked.6 -
CEO: if we would not give new features, clients would be bored and would not pay for tool.
me: but don't you think we should fix buggy old code, that would reduce effort and time that we daily invest in prod bugs?
CEO: I'm not saying we should not fix them but we should maintain the balance which is 80-20. 80% of our work would include adding new features.
😑
Next day in morning receives email:
There is a production issue, fix it asap.
😬10 -
This is going to be a rant, but personally, I'm pleased with the outcome of my life now.
I was part of a community for a few years and decided to help them out with my knowledge of programming Lua nearly 2 years ago since they lacked developers for the project itself.
Since it was sort of a custom language that they modified how Lua worked on it, it took me a bit to adapt, but within a few weeks, I was pretty fluent in this so-called custom language they had. Began working on some major updates, additions, removals, and just optimizing this code base. It was a pretty old code base and needed a good chunk of love.
A few months later, I've implemented loads of features, optimized the base whenever I could, and then things start taking a turn for the worse. We get new 'developers' who haven't ever coded the language, and worse they couldn't afford to provide them development servers thus they ended up breaking my servers. I helped them and they learned, they were decent, but now the Seniors and CEO's of the project began to take a toll on me.
I was told that this community had a reputation of driving out developers, ruining their reputations, and that is what started happening. I started getting questioned if I was loyal to helping them, that I've become lazy, even though they were explained I've had mental health issues for a few years and have been hospitalized multiple times.
These sort of attacks kept happening for months, and then they finally pushed my buttons, where I was talking to another Senior of how we should redo the base since it's just so massive and a few tiny updates to the base take a few days to implement across the entire code. What instead happened was that I went to sleep, and this Senior told the CEO I was going to steal the code base and go sell it...
I woke up to messages of how the CEO is all pissed off, and that this what the Senior said. At this point, I started responding with, fuck it. I was so sick and fucking tired of their bullshit. I was the only fucking competent developer, and I did more work in the few months I was there then some people did in 2 or 3 years.
A few hours later I decided to go chat with the CEO and explained what was truly brought up, and he just brushed it off like I was lying. At that point, I lost it. I told him why the code base was horrible since he hired stupid ass developers. He didn't know how to code. People wanted certain items, and he wouldn't be able to add them for fucking months and players sit there making fun of it. Some people state the only differences they see within the code is the code I've done. Basically, he was an incompetent fuck that said he knew what he was doing, and had all these big plans for the future yet couldn't listen to the only competent developer and fucking claimed bullshit.
Now a few months have gone by, I'm looking at their community and it's basically dead with no proper updates except for copy and paste updates claiming to be custom coded. While I'm working on my real life businesses (Which are currently being a headache, but within the year should resolve its issues), starting University for my Computer Science degree here soon, and even considering building my own game here.
Basically, karma is a bitch and that's why when you get loyal people in your life, keep them. (Writing this at 3 am after a few drinks, hopefully, it made sense, I think it does.)
Anyways, goodnight everyone.5 -
When you've been working your ass off for months alone on a project with major backend features and the feedback you get from the CEO at the demo is "I don't like the colour".3
-
TLDR : Some dude was immediately fired by creating union. The email from the CEO of Sii Poland (one of the biggest software houses in the country) shocked the whole IT community
14 -
Someone tried to push a patch in prod while demo was going on in front of CEO.
Good thing they locked the repo before the demo. 😏3 -
It always gives me a smile when my boss (ceo, no technician) calls me and says "let's do some software architecture together!". He has no idea what this means, but he likes the term. Sometimes, this call just means "let's have a beer together"2
-
So far 9 people left because of that newly hired COO ( check my previous rants ), 4 from digital department including the manager
Enjoy making the company bankrupt asshole !!!5 -
CEO : this Facebook app has this great feature .
Me: yep, it’s really useful
CEO : can we make something like this in ours too ?
Me : we can sure try using this(x) method.
CEO : cool, I’ll add this into the sales team memo , and btw, it needs to be done in 2 days,
Me : but... but ...2 -
Me: "hey CEO, that product that's only had 3 devs on for a couple of years has grossed a million brit bucks 2 years running. Any chance we could get some laptops for the team that aren't heavy as fuck and 4-5 years old. Maybe some monitors that aren't tiny and dull as fuck?"
CEO: "no"
Also, what's people's dream dev gear?9 -
I just gave a successful demo to the CEO and CTO of a company I'm doing some contract work for. The questions they were asking led to me going off script, luckily it all worked!
2 -
Don’t know if I should be worried that I received an invite to a 1-on-1 meeting with the company CEO…15
-
Did I ever tell you kids about the time I worked for a company that got a contract to develop an iOS application around some object detection software that had been developed by another team?
Company I was working for was a tiny software consultancy, and this was my first ever dev job (I’m at my second now 😅). Nobody at the company has experience building mobile applications but CEO decides that the app should be written in React Native because _he_ knows React Native.
During a meeting with the client, CEO jokes about how easy the ask is and says he could finish it in a weekend. Please note that Head of Engineering had already budgeted a quarter for the work. CEO says we can do it in a week! And moves up the deadline. And only assigns two engineers to project. I am not one of those engineers.
The two engineers that are put on it struggle. A lot. They can’t seem to get the object detection to work at all, and the code that’s already written is in Objective-C. I realize one of the issues is that the engineers on the project can’t read Objective-C because they have no experience with Objective-C or even C. I have experience with C, so I volunteer to take a look at it to try to see what’s going on.
Turns out the problem is that the models are trained on one type of image format and the iPhone camera takes images in a different format.
The end of the week comes, they do not succeed in figuring out the image conversion in React Native. There’s an in-person demo with the customers scheduled for the next Monday. CEO spends the weekend trying to build the app. Only succeeds in locking literally every other engineer out of the project.
They manage to negotiate a second chance where we deliver what we were supposed to deliver at the original schedule.
I spent the weekend looking up how to convert images and figure it would be a lot easier to interface with the Objective-C if we used Swift. Taught myself enough Swift over the weekend to feel dangerous. Spoke to Head of Engineering on Monday and proposed solution — start over in Swift. Volunteer to lead effort. Eventually convince them it’s a good idea (and really, what’s the worst that can happen? If this solves our main problem at the moment, that’s still more progress than the original team made)
Spend the next week working 16 hour days building out application. Meet requirements for next deadline. Save contract.
And that’s ONE of the stories of my first dev job that got me hired as a senior engineer despite only having 10 months of work experience in the industry.11 -
CEO of previous job, only reachable by email, coming to the office twice a week at best, business trips at no notice, answers every third email, addressing the dev team:
"You need to plan better. A lot of the delays and bugs are due to poor communication and unaddressed issues."
I don't miss that job.1 -
One of those "Fuck this shit, I'm outta here" moments! CEO, in a dying startup wants to go on a 5 day vacation to Mexico while I'm sitting here fixing production bugs! FUCK THIS SHIT BRUH5
-
Was on a leadership call last week and CEO didn't realize I was on it. Proceeds to talk about IT and says:
11 -
1M€/year web agency, the ceo doesn't buy coffee for employers anymore (14 people) because "it costs too much". :/4
-
To people who may not be aware, Steve Ballmer is no longer the CEO of Microsoft. They actually dont suck anymore.6
-
My dev colleagues, the ceo, a external designer and me (dev) are sitting in the meeting room
and we discuss the result from the designer. He designed a complete relaunch of a
small CRM for the logistics sector.
The designer is a designer as you know him, big beart, small macbook, chai late
and he designed nothing, he hired a freelancer from romania.
My boss studied software development in the 80s but didn't really developed a software
for about 20 years, but he thinks he knows all and everything.
My boss is constantly complaining about the colors in the design and he would like
a iOS approach. Our system should complete copy the styles from iOS.
The really funny thing happend in just 1 minute. My boss is complaining again about the
colors and told the blue color is way to dark and the designer meant thats not possible the
blue color very bright. My boss sat next to the designer and looked not on the wall where
the picture was thrown from a projector, instead he looks from the side in the macbook screen
of the macbook which was in front of the designer. Then the designer says "Oh my god, the color
changes if I look from the side or from the top of the macbook." The Designer was blown away. My
boss couldn't believe it and did the same movements with his head and said. "Wow, you are right
the color changes".
We all other people couldn't believe that they are so dumb and thought this must be a joke. But
that wasn't a joke. After the meetin my boss told everyone in our company his results regarding the screen.
I wrote every story in a document, and I'm planning to create a book with dumb shit like this.2 -
*One day at office sitting at my desk coding in front of a window with a refreshing breathe of fresh air coming from it, and a decent view of trees in front of the building*
CEO: would you like to be sitting together with the other dev?
Me: that would be awesome!
- next day -
*come to work to see my stuff has been moved over next to the always open door, with clear view of the lobby, prone to all kinds of nonstop distractions, and psychologically lethal ambiance*
ceo: YOU TWO ARE SITTING TOGETHER NOW, AREN'T YOU PSYCHED??
me: WELL CANT SAY PSYCHED, BUT A PSYCHO SOON HAHAHA >fucking asshole<4 -
I've been working in a company for two tears, builsing it from ground up as a CTO with a CEO and COO. Two years in, with 60 people on board I was managing a project which was bringing serious profit into the company, and they decided to cut me off. Reason: they don't trust me anymore, real reason: CEO wanted more money for himself and less money control from me and the other guy.
Turned out fine as it made me start my own business.1 -
ceo: we need new docs, kiki should make them
tens of team members: lemme explain docs to kiki
ceo: don’t you fucking dare, let kiki execute their unique thought process
☺️14 -
If you can get a chat with the CEO I would ask this question.
“From your vantage point, what do you see as your job as CEO?”
Anything less than a list of 10-50 different job responsibilities is a total pass. It shows the the CEO thinks he knows it all. Everyone can and should grow and it has to come from the top down.
If you don’t hear anything about building culture then this is a problem. If you do, then probe further.
If the CEO seems to give the impression that he is above answering this question for “someone in your position” then this is a big red flag.
In my view everything in a startup come from the top down, and shit runs up hill. Therefore the CEO has to not only perform every conceivable task but must have a desire to learn and grow. A CEO who doesn’t learn builds companies that don’t learn. Companies that don’t learn, fail.3 -
Delivering next 6 month’s product roadmap to CEO, other directors and senior management.
I know it’s all going to change.
They know it’s all going to change.
I know they know.
They know I know.
No words are spoken. -
Sure you know this one:
* Mobile project with realtime notifications
* CEO asks for push implemented with own sockets instead of using firebase or gcm
* Spends loads of time of money and time
* Asks to dev why It costs so much
* Blames the dev for socket implementatiom2 -
Cheers y'all!! Hope your weekend was good and tomorrow you crank out awesome code, so the CEO can finally buy a yacht.
20 -
So apparently, there's a "leaked" recording of the AWS CEO telling software devs to stop coding and be prepared for the day when "AI takes over software development."
Can someone point me in the direction of the AWS Headquarters?
*cocks shotgun*
I just wanna talk15 -
The CEO of my last workplace asked an employee for his credit card; withdraw significant amount of money as a debt and never paid back. He already owes 2+ months of salary to that employee.
(He owed me money too but I never gave my Macbook back. 🖕)14 -
I work for a small company with about 10 employees working full-time in the office. We all report directly to the CEO, Phil. When the pandemic hit, Phil went into full panic mode and had us all move our desks 12+ feet apart, wash our hands every 20 minutes, sterilize everything in between uses, etc. Nothing super weird, and better than having no reaction at all, but it was a hypervigilant process that made me expect him to be very accommodating when our state went on lockdown.
Boy, was I wrong. Our industry is considered essential so we’re still open, but Phil is being odd when it comes to working from home. For background, about 95% of our work can be done remotely. The other 5% would require about 15 minutes in the office once a week. I was the first one to pose the idea of working from home and Phil nervously agreed, but only let do it three days a week. My coworkers were given similar instructions but were “encouraged to come in every day, if possible.” A few of them do.
Since then, Phil has gotten pretty weird about the situation. He refers to people who are working from home as being “off work” (which is NOT the case, we are all working and available while at home, which he knows because he calls us for work-related things during work hours!). Today, Phil asked me if my coworker Travis was in his office, and I said Travis was working from home, and Phil replied in a sour tone, “So he’s not working then, great.” He has made similar comments about my other coworkers. When I’m working from home, he’ll call me and ask in a sarcastic tone, “What are you even working on today?” Or he’ll give me an assignment and end with, “Can you actually do work on this today? I need you working.” One time, he called while I was in the bathroom and when I called him back less than five minutes later, I was told that I “need to be available and not screwing around.”
The weirdest thing is that none of us has had productivity problems! My job is such that I can tell when anyone is slacking even a little and I haven’t noticed any issues. Personally, I’ve actually been MORE productive! And I’ve never been accused of “screwing around” while at the office before, so this attitude has baffled me.
He is so convinced that we aren’t working that he cut our work-from-home time down two days a couple weeks ago, and now it’s being cut down to one day as of next week – when COVID cases are higher in our city than ever!
My guess is that because Phil isn’t physically seeing us work, he assumes we aren’t working. CCing him on stuff to leave “proof” doesn’t work because he doesn’t read his email. He is also naturally a nightmare of a micromanager (and an across-the-office yeller) so not being as “in control” is probably freaking him out. But what is the best way to handle this?10 -
I never rooted and Android device. Now I have until tomorrow to root a Samsung Tablet, update android version, install Microsoft Power Apps and show to CEO.10
-
CEO: What are your plans for these hollidays?
Me: Clean up the house. I haven't had much time because we've had some busy last few months.
CEO: Seriously? Are you joking? (I could see in his eyes, "why would a talented programmer ever waste their time doing menial housework...") I mean, you could be working instead and earning a couple more bucks...
(Fuck him, none of his business...)
Me: I can't delay it this time. My wife has dust allergies.
CEO: Oh. Ok. I get it. When I was a kid, my father and I had some serious dust allergies. The house maid had to clean everything thoroughly at least once a week.
Not surprised...10 -
CEO: “Everyone has to come back to the office. No more COVID working from home nonsense. We need to work together in person to be truly effective.”
Everyone: “There aren’t enough offices and desks for everyone.”
CEO: “Oh, also, we’re laying off thousands.”
Everyone: “Well, ok, but there’s still not enough room for everyone to work together in the same spaces.”
CEO: “Ok, contractors can work from home to make room for the remaining full-time employees.”
Me, a contractor:
3 -
CEO: Please have the dev ready to update Product on 8/20.
Me: That's premature.
CEO: Okay, let them know they'll be updating the team on 8/20.
Fuck. You.2 -
If your startups CEO is the major stakeholder, that’s great.
If your CEO is the major bottleneck, that’s a problem.
Don’t handcuff your employees. Instead enable them to work efficiently and effectively. -
Working in a tech company as a project manager, the CEO asked me: a client requested to code the frontend with something call active java, are you familiar with it?
Me: well, it must be a new tech.."searched online..", no results found.
After calling the client, he was asking about React native.🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ -
My CEO uncle: "anyone can program."
A quote from when we were discussing strategy for my sit down with the CEO of a company I was applying at (FYI, his advice was to research the company, be familiar with their long term strategies and such). I get that there's no need to prove my technical prowess to a business exec, but it isn't because "anyone can program."
I mean, sure, in a philosophical sense, anybody has the capacity to learn. But developers aren't a fungible asset. Treating them as such leads to ruin.3 -
Stories from a Startup #1
CEO walks into co-worker's office, staring longingly out of the window at the lake below.
After a brief moment of silence, the CEO speaks...
"I wonder if that swan ever thinks... about me?"1 -
Seems like even GitHub's CEO has now chimed in on the youtube-dl takedown! https://torrentfreak.com/riaas-yout...
A screenshot of him popping into the #youtube-dl IRC channel is posted here: https://twitter.com/t3rr4dice/...
So I guess this youtube-dl story may have a happy ending after all! Glad to have supported it and thanks to everyone who did the same :D12 -
Ms Word doesn't support attachments in mail merge and the fucking CEO wants me to add in the support. I hate my job now.
Time to resign...3 -
At the first company I worked for out of college, the CEO was a bit like a child. Whenever he came up with a new feature he wanted to add to the product, it had to be done asap otherwise we were going to "miss the boat." Every single time.
So rewind to a few years ago. It's a normal day at work and then suddenly my team lead and the CEO call my team into the conference room. The CEO starts telling us about this industry conference (we were in online dating) that was happening and this flashy new company dating company was going to be showing off this awesome search feature.
Naturally, our CEO concocted a Hail Mary plan of how our company was going to upstage this company and get all of the press to write about us instead. Basically, the "plan" was for us to build a brand new search feature of our own, in the week before the conference, and then he stated that the press would "have to write about us because ours will be better."
Everyone on my team knew it was ridiculous but we were pretty young and naive so we busted our asses to get this search feature out the door in the short week. The Friday before we stayed until like 2 AM. It was a little bit fun because the people on my team were cool, but the whole situation was absurd and no one, except the CEO, thought this had any chance of working.
Annnnddd in the end we didn't get an ounce of press, the search feature was pulled from our site, and the "awesome" company that we were so worried about getting all the press is out of business. But hey, we did get it done!1 -
The CEO has the audacity to ask why the features released in the last month were less than in the past.
Did you forget that you made every single person in the company take a 1-week furlough? Are you serious?5 -
One job I picked up was for an IoT Start Up. It was quite interesting work, reporting to the technical director, who was an electronics engineer, who was designing the hardware himself, they had a couple of firmware guys already, and just needed someone to take care of the software.
So they said they needed something in Azure that they could stream their data to and provide analytics for their clients. It had to be Azure, and it had to be Azure Native, and was to be Multi-client, as they had a deal with Microsoft to showcase how well Azure works in the IoT space at an exhibition/conference in 3 months time.
So I worked flat out for 3 months, on a whole variety of technology, from C++ to get the radio packets from their IoT chip, Python to run on the hub to take the data from the C++ and stream it to the cloud, Azure IoT Hubs in every continent to receive the data and store it an a Cosmos DB, and then Power BI analytics wrapped up in an Angular front end that the clients could log into.
Got it finished 2 days before the show, and they were so pleased I got flown business class to Singapore to be on the stand and talk to customers.
The first sign of trouble was when we arrived at the show to find we just had one of those little circular tables with two stools in the middle of the floor, about two feet across and no power.
No problem, I was able to sort that, swapping laptops in and out.
Microsoft were really happy with what we had, and couldn't believe I had thrown it all together in 3 months.
We picked up a potential customer for the system, a major Asian Telecoms company.
Then when we got home, the CEO swooped in. I had never met this guy before. Imagine one of the VC guys from Silicon Valley, or the CEO from the IT Crowd. You get the picture. Could talk the hind leg of a donkey, and real street smart, but no brains. He insisted on "taking it from here" and flew alone to strike the deal with the customer. Came back with an MOU in his pocket and said to me, their guys will be in touch with you.
Then I got a call. Can you send us the source code and tell us how what servers we have to run this on?
Um, its cloud native.
No, we can't use a cloud it has to be on our servers - your CEO told us that was no problem..
He hadn't even taken the trouble to find out what it was we had built, and what he was selling.1 -
Our (new job) dress code policy is "that's what the CEO wears, so you have to wear a shirt too", but not enforced while working remotely.
So, I'll never be in the office.8 -
I currently have a design meeting with the CEO. He joined the meeting on his iPhone mini and the designs are for a desktop app.
What a joke5 -
Working on photo contest site, no design, no specification. 2 weeks until deadline.
CEO: Deadline is one week earlier, and client wants to have video uploads and automatic facebook share too.
Me: We don't even have a contract and design to work with yet.
CEO: No worries, the contract will be signed by the time you finished the website.
Site done in 1 week, including weekend days and overtime. Production on client's server as asked by CEO.
3 weeks later...
Me: So van you pay the overtime I worked?
CEO: Sorry client not payed and says they don't like the end product. I can't afford to pay you overtime.
2 days later.
CEO: The online department is lossy so you have to work harder in the next month, we have 3 sites to be done.
Me: Do we have the contracts?
CEO: No worries...4 -
Guys what I want to know is how do you secure your code so that they pay you after you deliver the code to them?
So recently I was in this internship that I secured with an over-the-phone interview and the guy who was contacting me was the CEO of the company (I'm going to refer to him as "the fucking cunt" from now on). He asked me to do some OCR and translations and I managed to write a few scripts that automate the entire process. The fucking cunt made me login remotely to his desktop which was connected to the server (who the fuck does that) and I had to operate on the server from his system. I helped him with the installation and taught him how to use the scripts by altering the parameters and stuff, and you know what the fucking cunt did from the next day onward? Dropped contact. Like completely. I kept bombing emails upon emails and tried calling him day after day, the fucking cunt either picked up and cut the call immediately on recognising its me or didn't pick up at all. And the reason he wasn't able to pay me was, and I quote, "I am in US right now, will pay you when I get back to India." I was like "The fuck was PayPal invented for?" Being the naive fool that I was, I believed him (it was my first time) and waited patiently till the date he mentioned and then lodged a complain in the portal itself where he had posted the job initially. They raised a concern with the employer and you know what the fucking cunt replied? "He has not been able to achieve enough accuracy on the translations". Doesn't even know good translation systems don't exist till date ( BTW I used a client for the google translate API). It has been weeks now and still the bitch has not yet resolved the issue.And the worst part of it was I got a signed contract and gave him a copy of my ID for verification purposes.
I'm thinking of making a mail bomb and nagging him every single day for the rest of his life. What do you guys think?7 -
When all you hear are mouse clicks and not keyboard presses from your colleagues, you know it's going to be a slow day. Which means, time to work on personal projects :P2
-
*Outsourcing DevOps Company*
> HR got a call from a customer
> Got my contract terminated immediately
> HR and my boss trying to explain to me about the situation
> The customer is one of BIG GIANT conglomerate in my country and high expectations AF
> My boss wants me in the team
> HR denied due to headcount and limited budget from investors
> CEO pay me for the whole 2 months in salary in compensation including unused vacation under the national labour law right away after signing an acknowledge form
> HR told me if I go to the new company, don't forget to tell them about referring
This all happens under 30 minutes after a normal working friday
What a shock
PS. It's a nice DevOps outsourcing company in both working culture and technical TBH6 -
Best laptop to run your linux distro
"Razer founder and CEO Min-Liang Tan has announced that Razer is soon going to support Linux distros on its Razer Blade laptop series officially. To welcome the suggestions from the community, Razer has created a new Linux Corner hub"5 -
2 colleagues just had a meeting with the CEO and the meeting just ended:
Colleague 1: "I'm gonna jump out of the window"
Colleague 2: "Make sure to land on your head"
Must have been a very productive meeting.3 -
Amazon's CEO Jeff Bezos becomes the first person ever worth $200 billion.
Thanks to my prime membership , else he'd still be at $199.999999999999 billion -
Me and the CEO of my company are both in the same clan in clash of clan.
I've never worked for a cooler guy. And funny enough he is much much much better than me. He has been playing for like 4 years.
When I started writing this 2 weeks ago (yes I forgot about this) he was working with us, he resigned in the meantime.
I just did the same, Today.
So, I guess best ex-ceo for a probably best ex-employee.
😕😕😕😢😢😢😕😕😕7 -
Got job offer, nice pay, started reading - 10 steps of recriutment.
They literally wrote that if I will be lucky I will meat CEO during last phase.
I told myself I would probably puke if I manage to pass all steps and tell this CEO to fuck off if I meet him during interview.
I think I skip this one.5 -
Seems like getting a CEO to upgrade his iPad to iOS 11 while it's still in beta is not a good idea. 😂2
-
Hi everyone
I'm currently an intern in a startup
I started 3 months ago and I will finish in 1-2 months
From the beginning, all the team is very nice with me and say that I do a really great job
I could learn many many things and I can say my ideas during the project
This is a message to CEO/CEO, you see, if you offer a really good internship with interesting tasks and technologies, student like me are really motivated, want to learn, want to really participe to the project even if I do more hours than I have to do
Because we, students, are like you : interested in new technologies and great ideas
Offer good internship and you will be happy to have good and motivate intern in your Company
Thank you! -
Which of the following can successfully lead a company for digital transformation?
A) CEO
B) CTO
C) Covid19
2 -
OK Mr CEO/President whatever self aggrandizing title you want to call yourself today, where the fuck is your spine! You want to have support help boost your sales but don't tell sales that you are letting support handle some sales and sales is mad. Now you are quivering under the thumb of the Lead of Sales. What the hell. You are the leader of this company.
Why did you not stand up for your decision to begin with? I'm not going to get into whether or not it was good, but if you are going to make a decision to experiment with new things fucking stand by it and let everyone in the company know.
You've exacerbated the division between departments and ton this company further apart. If you don't start standing up for things, you are going to destroy all that you've helped build! Furthermore, I will not simply be your loyal vassal and watch all the people doing support for my products get fucked over. I will leave you high and dry if needed. I really hope you don't make it needed. You gave me a great shot to be honest, I'd hate to have to turn my back on you in anger. But don't think for a second I won't do it.
Your entire programming department has also been put in the cross fire of a fight you just made so much worse. You are the only one who can clean this up. Are you going to stand up for us? Are you gonna stand up for your self? Or will you just break and show us where the real power lies? We will find out soon.2 -
I was working as a software dev contractor at this company providing specific e-learning services for a specific industry X.
One day the CEO posts on Linkedin about an interview discussing the potential of gaining $100k per year working in industry X after getting specialized training for 6 months (using our e-learning platform of course) .
My gross income at the time was $65k. My experience was about 7-8 years. Now the thing is you might say "gee that's pretty low for a dev, especially a contractor", and yes I agree, but you have to understand a few facts:
1. I am from eastern Europe (cheapish labor - which btw for all of you out there from the West, including Germany and whatnot, it is xenophobic to consider easterners cheap and it personally insults me and my ability - but that's another story)
2. I was happy to accept the offer since it was the best I had up to that point :))
Now, by the time the LinkedIn post I was heavily invested in the product development. I personally had written 30% of the code (frontend and backend) compared to the whole development team (about 15 devs)... and yes you might argue that performance is not measured by number of lines of code... but trust me when I am saying I did the most on that product, and I am not saying this to brag, I actually care about the stuff that I work on.
When I saw that post on Linkedin I thought to myself "what kind of BS is this? I am a dev and devs are supposedly the best paid workers out there, and a guy from industry X that just got trained for 6 months would get more than me?! WTF?!"
So I messaged the CEO ...
Me: I noticed the post from linkedin about $100k by working in industry X, I am curious how does one get to that revenue per year? What is your advice?
CEO: The best way to obtain value is by creating value which you maximize continuously.
Me: and how does one maximize value?
CEO: it does not matter how hard your work but how large of an impact you make!
Me: ... and how do you measure impact? (me thinking about performance reviews for contract negotiations - and because performance reviews should be SMART -> meaning it should be measurable somehow)
CEO: Simon Sinek says ... << insert motivational quote here because I don't remember and don't care >>
I just lost if after reading the name "Simon Sinek" ...
So you see my dear friends ? It is all fairy dust, smoke and mirrors, in the end it is about maximizing profits, lowering costs and maintaining the illusion of opportunity... when there is none.
Lord is my witness... I hate hypocrisy and quackery ...
You can imagine that my contribution on that product immediately lowered, doing the bare minimum to meet the contract demands AND I FEEL NO REGRET.
%&#$ YOU SIMON SINEK.4 -
Bought a GoDaddy.com domain for the website for our startup as a joint decision by the CEO, marketing guy and me(the Dev), cuz it basically fulfilled our needs. Got some criticism from peers and mentors for not choosing AWS. Guess who's not shitting their pants now.4
-
That moment when the CEO teaches you how "real programmers" spend 20% time in coding, and other 80% in writing company wikis, updating documentations and attending meetings.4
-
I am looking for a job, does any one needs a ceo or a consultant? I can be helpful. I have experience of four failed projects, two were of my own and have experience of one successful one.27
-
The CEO of Harley Davidson once said his was the only company logo that people tattoo on their body.
Anyone sad enough to have a tech tattoo...and brave enough to admit it?13 -
I had a job where the CEO/founder regularly yells at people and punches the wall.
During citywide rollout. He and a few other people went out to buy power inverters so they can power up my PC using someone's car14 -
- Phone screen with HR - went well
*set up interview with CEO*
- Interview with CEO - went well
*set up tech interview with a dev*
- Tech Interview - interviewer doesn't show up
I sent followup email, asking if we needed rescheduling - no response
I don't understand why I was ghosted like that, at least they could've sent a message to reject me or something? Seemed like a waste of time.5 -
I'm fucking tired of putting my efforts into bug fixes.
5 years of web. I never had a client that likes to keep it's crappy slow piece of shit product on the market in the exact same way it is.
If they didn't sell it to state employees (and good luck for them if they do not use it) their product would be dead.
That's the only way they get money: bids. And the minimum a state pays is 15 MILLION.
And they don't have 90K to pay another dev to help creating a new product.
Their CEO fucking REJECTS anything that's not a bug fix. Once he said to our PM:
"It's pretty and more fast, but wasn't this way that made me rich"
I'm thinking I'm getting another client, seriously. Everyday the same thing breaks and they already know the fucking answer:
WE NEED TO FUCKING REFACT
CREATE A NEW FUCKING PROJECT
This shit is making crazy. I can't sleep. I can't eat and I'm always fucking tired, no matter what I do.
I need to stop working for Brazilians.
I'll try US, Canada or somewhere in Europe.8 -
Working hard to meet crazy deadline to finish last update before new product announcement to make it look better. Our CEO blabs about new top secret product at some conference throwing away all marketing efforts up to date and putting marketing team into panic mode. Result? They moved the announcement date without discussing it with development. Result? Our efforts and overtimes wasted and we are announcing product before it is ready. End result? I'm pissed so I wrote angry e-mail to our CEO. Wondering what will happen now :-) But with unfinished announced product and crazy deadlines they need me a lot more than I need them.
-
Me and my coworkers are pretty lucky. Your head of development is a developer himself and our CEO listens to developers on advice and actually tries to understand which parts are hard to build and which parts work very well.5
-
Ha ha ha!
I will wait a while before I pass judgement if you don't mind...
Microsoft bought GitHub to rebuild developer trust, says new CEO.
Linky below:
http://itpro.co.uk/development/...7 -
One of the perks of directly working with the CEO is that sometimes he goes on business trips so you pretty much catch up on medium articles all day lol2
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What's the right thing to do as a junior dev when your boss acts too intimidating and gives you feel like you are unwanted?4
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https://dilbert.com/strip/...
Believe it or not, something like this *really* happened to me once: I was demoing a product to customers and my CEO stopped me when I was halfway through because he genuinely thought that what I was demoing did not exist. -
CTO/CEO (previous place) - we're not production engineers, so we're going to fork your code base and move way faster than all of you and then you can maintain it. Doesn't that sound inspiring?
25% of the company: ha... Here's our 2 week notice.2 -
Just finished Microsoft's newest CEO, Satya Nadella's book "Hit Refresh." It was actually really great. He talks about changing Microsofts culture and global impact, inspiring makers, as well as what the needs are going forward in technology.
Highly recommend. -
Spent 4 hours today, talking to 7 different people on the phone. All were interviews. There were even 2 where i called the hr and 20 minutes later the ceo/architect whatever called me to get the phone interview done fast. Im really fuckin exhausted.2
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the CEO is trying to release a product that has had a total of 1 test user, himself!! 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Any ideas to convince him to do something like a slow launch instead of sinking a bunch of money on marketing!?!?
(I'm pretty sure dilbert or xkcd should have something related...)5 -
TIL that the CEO sends cringy videos to the customers but cmon, can you not have the title "Efficiency in your pants"5
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because when you are ceo and founder of something at a young age, you need to empathize that as much as you can
that roughly translates as: "21 years old, international robotics champion, co-founder and CEO @ {put your company name here}"
24 -
CEO, your Backend Server is a powerful machine.
It can output millions of pages and serves millions of users.
But it has one defect:
It needs a Developer.
CEO, your Web Application is powerful.
It downloads faster than light and carries more images than your son Instagram account.
But it has one defect:
It needs a Developer.
CEO, a Developer is very useful.
He can fix things on the fly and he can develop killer features.
But he has one defect:
He can think.
(from "General Your Tank Is A Powerful Vehicle" Bertold Brecht) -
CEO of spotify saying that content creation costs are nearing 0.
Saying nothing about that content that costs 0 to create have also 0 value.
16 -
At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here6 -
The moment when your CEO freaks out because he can’t login and starts insulting your architecture because he thinks its a caching issue even though it is a cookie issue because his CTO changed the domain on your cookie for no reason.
2 -
receive multi year old confused bug/feature request from a former CEO
why
are there not other people who can immediately answer the questions instead of playing broken telephone when it arrives to me, to go find them
do you not have better things to do with your time and other directional priorities for the company or should i really muck around this low priority thing?
i guess i just lack the CEO M I N D S E T, also the compensation package1 -
Holy shit! The fuckery CEO of reddit did to himself is hilarious. He did no good by finally admitting the wrong he did.
To top it off, he himself called him the abuse which he was pissed off about.
Moral: Be moderate if you're gonna do something sketchy like that, rather than going all the way, and then to apologise about it in the end.2 -
I think up dumb shit too. I should be a CEO...
https://msn.com/en-us/news/...
Logitech is my favorite mouse vendor. This is a stain on their reputation. This and the AI shit they are marketing. Why the fuck do companies ruin their products? I actively avoid subscriptions and companies that offer them.12 -
Has anybody ever worked with a shady company where you don't even know the company structure? Like CEO and administration?6
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CEO of the startup: We're fully funded. [Shows screenshot of a Whatsapp conversation with an alleged investor.] See?
Me: Riiiiight3 -
CEO offers me a position
CTO sends me 7 logical interview questions, including asking me to write a program that converts binary to decimal in Node...2 -
After having been roasted for 2:30h by two of their dev leads, I've been invited to a final interview with the CEO tomorrow.3
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Whenever you feel the need to rant about your project manager, always remember you'd wish you had one if you reported directly to the CEO.3
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Leave a "I will see you like a php team lead in five years" (CEO words) job and be a co-founder for a startup.
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Trustico CEO emailed private key which is used to sign TLS certificates, making more than 23k certificates compromised!
This makes me think, that we should not trust others for our security (like ca), failure of CA can put our website at risk. What is the better way to do it?
https://arstechnica.com/information...11 -
Software business partner will make your life hell and the CEO holds a lot of shares in this company. Aka you can't fire them even if they suck donkey dongs.
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Ever had a colleague who nosed into what solution you brought to a problem and then stole your credit, telling the CEO how they found the solution and not you?
Yeah.2 -
The good: dotnet core RTM
The bad: my previous shitty work place, their shitty product, the very shitty TL that had no fucking idea how to lead or manage the team
The ugly: the shit storm I dropped on TL, group leader, CEO/CTO when I left... -
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Then Ok.
Dad goes to Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK
That's business...!!2 -
Recruiter:
I've got an exciting new job opportunity for you!
[...]
The web applications were written by the current CEO [...]6 -
Clench your butt tight hole and prepare:
Microsoft, Google, Amazon are the early owns, others going to follow. It's going to be painful year (Build back better).
https://blog.google/inside-google/...
This is just the start.....16 -
so the Sales Guy emails Me that he needs something ccing the CEO of my company bypassing all the Managers under who I am currently working with ?
May be I should feel good he didn't cced the U.S. President :/1 -
<b>Issue #19: Kicker Table physics engine</b>
CEO: Physics engine is weird, please fix
Me: *levels table* Physics engine calibrated, needs further testing. -
I don’t give a single fuck about your status. I don’t care if you are the CEO, CTO, President, etc… I will tell you when you are wrong. And if you try to fire me, I’ll come to your house and kill your family bitch12
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So they have a meeting to declare -
No hike/promotions.
layoffs.
Then managers start talking about how good leader the ceo is & how nicely he managed covid situation.
Confused as to what happened here...4 -
1 CEO, 3 CTO and 2 Polytechnicien (French engineers from a big French school)
They all deserved that their project called "life" were cancelled. It's a clear and indisputable failure! -
I assigned work to my minions aka Jr. Devs for the first time. Feels great. Is this what being a CEO feels like?5
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Talk shit, close the door to the people who have faith on you, that’s how good CEO, a man with dream, follows first principle do!
This is how mafia works!👎
4 -
Want to become CEO in a big ass megacorp in your 50ties? Read this study.
https://heidrick.com/Knowledge-Cent...
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I made 3 designs (more like proof of concepts) 2 months ago for a certain feature request.
2 months ago:
I presented to the CTO & CEO and the senior developer.
Senior developer prefers design A
CTO prefers design A with some very minor changes
CEO prefers design C with some major changes (ok, at this point is it more design D)
CTO & senior dev tried to argue for his idea but gave up.
So we decide to implement Design D
Now:
Customers complained that the designs is not clear (UX-wise)
CEO: "I have the idea to make some adjustments" and explained design A.
This happens pretty much for every other feature request since I started doing designs for new features. Previously they implemented it without designs.4 -
To everyone indulged in the GitHub-Gitlab-Microsoft mayhem, have you read the blog post of GitHub's to-be-appointed CEO, Nat Freidman? It clears out a lot of things about the dev skepticism around this whole event.
I'll just leave it here: https://natfriedman.github.io/hello...1 -
'With the most modern system on the market'
This is part of email I got from CEO of big company.
Meanwhile a college how sits few desk ahead of me, opens Turbo Pascal IDE to work on that (the most modern) system.3 -
Finally Travis Kalanick resigns as CEO after all the discrimination going on at Uber. https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/06/...=
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I find it really embarrassing how Twitter, whose mission was to give voice to those who are not heard, has become a puppet in the hands of a CEO who overnight changes the codebase to influence the crypto market for his own ends.3
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Am I wrong in thinking that jobs where you are helping people will be completely shit pay.
But jobs where you are helping some CEO get richer, they’re the ones that are more likely to pay well?
It’s a messed up world5 -
That feeling when company gave you a laptop on which you have to work and you cant work because your laptop is so weak that cant build solution because of constans crashes. Should i tell it to ceo? Guys help, first work and already problems :[5
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So tomorrow I'm talking to the CEO of the company I applied a job for as the 4th step of the recruitemenr process. Kind of nervous about it because I don't know what to expect from this interview. Any advice?😬😬😬1
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I wanna change my job. But since i am frigging underpaid ( almost 2 years exp in web dev) i need an increment before leaving the current mediocre company inorder to increase my Expected CTC for the new company. I need a plan for approaching the CEO.12
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Need some advise. I suggested a feature over an email to a CEO of a B$ company, he replied “we also have same idea in pipeline”, they developed it 3 years later. A lot of screens are same as I sent.
Can I ask for credit legally.14 -
CEO of my company often walks in our office with a joke: "I can't hear you do bit & byte".
I still don't catch it. -
To all impatient Project Leaders: You should never, under any circumstances, change the release Date from Tuesday to Friday (before). Even spontaneous Holidays of the CEO is no exception.
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A meeting between me, the CEO and the owner of a company. The subject: they asking me about my friend who decided to dropped their shitty company.1
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So a certain functionality in one of our critical systems has to be refactorised and changed to accommodate a new workflow.
So after several days of CTO, CEO talking with me, as I lead this project. We don't have a solution, so the CEO solution is asking fucking everyone in the company.
Juniors that can not tell between an interface or an abstract class come to my desk to tell me how the system should be designed.
Thanks a lot management to make my life easier. -
A meeting where the client's UX evangelist kept interrupting her CEO and our team's developers when trying to discuss an issue. Her reason? "I'm bored and you talk too much".
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when your application works everywhere, in every situation, for every user, EXCEPT on the fucking device and user of the new Board Member....
...fuck fuck fuck.
(specially because we have a task dedicated specially to test and target CEO and old board members devices) -
Just wrote a routine that sent 77 emails (instead of one) to the CEO of a company we are working. Needless to say what happened after.1
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Now arguing with the ceo of startup I’m part of that we can use the ugly generator for avatar, and he said we should use the duck generator, and I said the duck has virtually no personality, but he said it fits the simplicity design flow
Man15 -
I just started out as a frontend developer | UX Designer at my company and my CEO calls me the "UX guy" but I've never done any UX work! No interaction with users, no planning out a UI by considering their true need, I just design and develop the necessary pages and add functionality based on what my CEO tells me. That's it, I'm removing UX from my designation from now on, as I don't have any experience in that field even though my experience tells otherwise.7
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Dreams do come true if you visualise and execute laser focus on your aims!
I’m going to be a partner (and mostly CEO) of my own company!7 -
So, let me get this straight. At a company called OpenAI, which has the mission of making AI available to the world, the CEO was fired (then rehired, then fired, then rehired) and all the employees stood in solidarity with him through all that. But then there was this new AGI development that the supposedly open company is hiding from everyone and which could threaten the existence of humanity. Because OpenAI is open and is very concerned about AI's existential threats. Except when it's not because it's concerned with AI's existential threats.
Did I get that about right?
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/...5 -
I finally found the courage to quit my $5/hr freelance job I just sent out a long letter and message to the CEO letting him know that I’m done damn why the fuck do I feel nervous ?4
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Developers are magical machines powered by coffee that can make something out of nothing. The CEO machine runs on expensive Amazonian coffee and comes up with ideas and unreasonable deadlines. Daisy chaining them makes the CEO machine's idea into a product with uncommented code and console.log()s left over from development.
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The decision making freedom of my current job. But with a team of tech people rather than just my stupid self managing all tech. And with a competent boss who isn't also the CEO and HR person for the company
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Should I become the CEO of Xerox, I pledge to rename the company to "Jerome Inc.", and naming our highest performance printing machine "Powell".
Also, I'm going to legally change my name to William "Bill" Printer.1 -
We have outsourced the design for a certain feature since we could not agree with the CEO & project manager. Now the CEO has given the designs to his wifes company and they have worked on it.
We had received the new designs and made 26 feedback points & questions. We were very much not happy with the new designs. The CEO was happy.
Now we have gotten the new new design and they have addressed 3 feedback points/questions.
They have uploaded their new comments and only addressed 3 feedback moments.1 -
Currently dealing with a very bad and limited Library for scheduling taking into consideration that the CEO insists on using it for no reason.
instead, he could use an open source library for free and could provide more features. -
Stand ups , why , I could easily just ask the guy next to me what changed in the last 7 of sleep In which I didn't see him, but nooo mister CEO must have it his way2
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A parade of planning meetings every Monday where the whole executive team (including the CEO) sits in. Each meeting was an hour long and it took up their whole day.
It was ridiculous how unproductive that was. Continues to this day AFAIK! -
What should I expect from a final stage interview with a startup CEO/Co-founder? This will be the 3rd (and hopefully last) interview.4
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Make a flow document on the integration between web and iPad app via deeplink/universal link to streamline some stuff.
Went to three days vacation for friends engagement.
Today reached the official and found out that in last three days, my boss and my pm had a meeting and changed whole flow without asking and that flow is impossible to implement.
Spend whole day talking to both and revert whole thing.
What a waste of time. -
- "what does that function do?"
- "I don't know"
- "how you don't know !? you are maintaining the project."
- "how do I know what 'ConvertFromDataTableToOther' will do !! it has two inner loops that exchange some columns!"
When CEO is doing code review ..
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