I personally like to hold my compiler at gunpoint

I lost my sanity and googled ”FUCK YOU XCODE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT”...

That's how I found devRant.

Has anyone ever taken on a project where you dont know what you are getting yourself into, and then start it and going down the rabbit hole of docs and then at some point ask yourself "what the f u c k am i doing?"

I use to develop desktop programs in C++ with algos related with image processing and computer vision. However, new projects appear and one of them was for web using Drupal. It was my first experience with web and I am still having nightmares... It is the worst thing you can do. Continue a big project without the understanding of technology nor the framework... Now I am more experienced and I prefer stacks like MERN. Easy the debugging in web i so crucial... Maybe, I would have to swtich to webassembly.

Reminded again why every professional developer should at least read and understand basic algorithms...

Colleague: I don't understand why this agregation query is so slow, the counting is on the DB.

This function used to work fine... Now it sometimes hangs.

Me thinking: why does everyone assume db has unlimited resources and computing power so everything should be quick (no time or space complexity)...

Maybe if everyone understood this stuff our code base wouldn't be so shitty from the start...

Just now noticed that my rep has like doubled.

My PR's being denied.

Dear previous dev on this project,

I know that everyone loved you and still admires you for being so nice and having such a great knowledge. Please teach me your ways of achieving this level of popularity while writing big bowls of fucking flying spaghetti monster code with a bunch of hidden bugs and thousands of lines of unit tests that clearly never been used since it is literally impossible to run them thanks to missing mocks and overall bad design.

Teach me so I can become this person who shits big reeking piles in the office in front of everyone and even after leaving people still praise them for being exceptionally clean and sophisticated.

when you fuck up a branch so hard you just make a new branch from master

const abc: string = 'Hi';

Can we take a moment to appreciate how retarded it is that TSlint throws a warning here that the string type is inferred and unnecessary.

I want to put the type there because it looks more readable. Code looks better if every variable has a type, irrespective of whether it's a constant. I know the fucking type is inferred you braggart linter bitch. What the fuck does it expect? A fucking award because it inferred that a string constant is of the fucking type string? How the ever loving fuck does that warrant a squiggly ass yellow warning line, reminiscent of that smartass 10 year old in class who has to yell out every answer when the teacher never asked a question.

Debugging, an art of detecting a crime which you may have done back in time with an urge to puch your own face after discovery.

To whoever is spending their entire botnet on ddosing my project: its working, you successfully took down a 25 line api running on a free heroku dyno, you can stop now.

I was today years old when I discovered the CSS property column-count.

Do you have any fucking idea how many times I’ve used CSS grid or flex box or BOTH when all I wanted was to make a layout with a set number of columns?

Why the fuck didn’t I know about this thing?

Did you know about this thing?

In the meeting where I gave my notice period, the manager told me I won't find another company that doesn't make you do "donkey work" like us.

Currently hee-hawing from work.

Finally got my first REAL job 🙂

Fuck you 10X developer. You create 5 PR's per day and I have to read through all of them. Then you proceed to ignore all of my comments and suggestions for improvement. And of course I'm the sorry private who has to find and defuse all of your sneaky mines.

One thing JS does great is that everything from the server to the gui to the (extremely flexible) build system is 100% platform independent with very few platform specific bugs. And that's a big deal when a basic setup is 1200 packages from 650+ semi-coordinated people.

QA: There is a problem
Me: Ok how do I reproduce it?
QA: You do x
Me: I have done x and there isn’t a problem
QA: Oh it only happens sometimes
Me: Fair enough, I’ll try a few times
...
Me: Are you sure x is how you do it?
QA: Oh no actually it’s y

FML

I feel retarded. Just spent a good solid 15 minutes trying to figure out what was wrong:

<input id="#example" type="text">

let data = $('#example').val()

And I was sending data to the backend and wondering why it always came across as undefined...

How do you like my new two monitor setup?

Found this by accident