About to put together this new killing machine!

😂😂😹😸😹😸😺

Thank you random dude from the internet who pasted a url from where I can obtain a floating ticket to license my JetBrains IDE.

Raise your hand if your ready for the GDPR on the 25th may.

Raise your glass if your getting shitfaced so you don't have to think about how many ways you're not.

This is why I prefer working alone. Its sadly true...

Digging through my old favorites and found this, still makes me chuckle.

Coding practice == ProjectEuler == math + 2hrs == i dont get them.... I give up :(

Hm.... maybe I should go back to doing foobar...

Hey I still have my account :)

Cyber programmer :D

I think I broke the duck....

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

Dear Web developers,
Please don't user adblock-blocker, because if tye content you provide is really good, we will use developer tool to hide the dialog, if not, we just go to another website.

Regards,
ordinary web user

I guess scriptkiddies get offended too soon. Thanks for the hate.

P.S. : I'm not stopping to downvote improper questions on SO

When you SSH into a machine and then SSH back into yours, you know you are drunk.

Omg in more ++ and I'm happy 😂😂😂😂

... fucking timezones

C always win :)

A wise man once said:

Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

😂😁

At the top of a 2000+ line source file

😂😂😂😂😂😂

When you leave coders to do their own thing
Src:commitstrip.com

The secret robot internet

Ok I'm not saying this to start something... but...

TERMINAL MASTERRACE!!!!!!!!

Damn writing api documentation is such a pain, I am following bunch of flow at the same :(

That feature though!!

Pair program with myself. It's lonely but 3x more effective than pairing with my idiot colleagues

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

> Customer calls
Her: I have over 5k 404 request to [insertwebsite]/autodiscover/autodiscover.xml
Me: Sound like a missconfigured exchangeserver/client. Let me have a look.
> Takes a look and can confirm the IP and the owner of that IP
Me: It looks like someone/something from xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is failing to resolve autodiscover.[insertdomain].com
and defaults to @ record on the zone. Do you happend to know to whom that IP belongs?
Her: No, and I dont care, just block it. I do not like the 404 that shows up on the summary.
Me: Alright
> Blocks the IP in the firewall.

>>> Fast forward to next day >>>

> Someone calls, it is the same girl
Her: I cant reach my website! Infact, I cant reach anything! WHYYYYYY!!!
> I remember, blocking that IP yesterday...
Me: Oh, can you please visist "minip.se" (whatismyip.com, swedish version) and tell me what you see?
Her: Yes, it is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
Me: Do you remember that IP that you request that I block yesterday?
> I can hear the shame coming from the phone.
> Turn out that her collegues did'nt have any mail delivered to them from the time I blocked their IP
> Her boss is really mad
> Atleast she had a cute voice

"I'm just trying to replicate {ticket-1234} so I can write a quick hotfix."

- "Oh, it doesn't work on dev."

- "So... I have to test on stage?"

- "It doesn't work on stage either."

- "Uh, on prod?"

*office laughs*

We're doing it live folks.

Hello! I am Johnny Knoxville and tonight on Jackass...we test in prod with no back out plan in place...and then I will glue Bam's hand to his dick while he's sleeping.

Interviewer : Explain us deadlock and we'll hire you.
Dev : Hire me and i'll explain it to you