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"I will go to sleep after i fix this bug" 10min later I look outside, North Korea and the USA are fighting a nuclear war, russia invaded europe, hitler rose from the death and there's even more javascript frameworks8
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A more experienced friend told me
"don't be a pussy, test in production"
I'm the one fixing the bugs, not him
8 -
There is only one reason to pause coding: a girlfriend. But since I don't have one I need more Coffee I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.4
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This is why one shouldn't code in more than one language a day. Basically spent almost 15 minutes to find out why it wasn't working.
10 -
“If she saves you 100 GB or more inbound traffic per month, she’s the right one.”
— Some guy on Pornhub3 -
When you finally snap at your PM for setting every deadline to "As soon as possible":
SAY. ASAP..ONE. MORE. TIME.
4 -
If Katie calls one more time, I'll hunt her down.
I said I don't want to be on your stupid caller's list. She said okay, then proceeds to call me 50 more times today.9 -
No one is going to hold your hand in the real world.
Now go on and fuck up some more so you can learn more.
3 -
If I hear "uh" or "uhm" one more time today, I might actually lose it, god damn fucking youtube tutorials.7
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So I was trying to go to sleep and my phone buzzed around 11:35 and it said someone commented on one of my rants so i went and read it, checked out how high my score was. Read a few rants...then a few more...wrote some comments...maybe one or two more...its almost 1am...6
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While surfing, I read one article of 45 jokes only programmer will get....
This is the more realistic one:
What do computers and air conditioners have in common??
Ans: Both useless when you open windows3 -
😩 That moment when you finish a project (part), close browser tabs close tons of terminal windows, quit a giant ide.. and you realize that you forgot a thing.. 😩12
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"I know more coding" - Friend
Attached image is one of his "websites" that he put up for download
13 -
When the last battery of one of your phones die. And you don't want waste more money with a new one.
But you need to perform a backup.
2 -
Describe your stress level in one sentence.
I'll kick it off:
"If he sends me one more passive aggressive email, or moronic statement, I will hit him with my chair until he stops moving"3 -
OMFG if I see one more single-lined if-else/for statements without proper closure brackets I'm gonna kill some people!!!8
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That moment you're 8 beers deep into your program at 4am, so focused and then realized you've been crossing your legs doing the pee pee dance in your chair so you don't piss yourself because your bladder is full and you just say "ok bathroom break after I finish this method, then one more beer."4
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That first paragraph... Don't think I'm ever going to more truth in one paragraph in my entire life
4 -
Hahahaha, good one.
About 20 side projects by now and quite some projects requiring more frontend skills than I have!2 -
Bought an Ethereum (yes, only one ☹️) in january at 9.90$. Now it's at ~180$. I should have bought more..
9 -
I'm sick of the tyranny of websites who say your password must include at least one shady character, one special agent, and a number of other filthy things. Only makes your passwords impossible to remember, hard to type, and not a bit more secure.
"mynameisronalddumpandimanorangehairedorangutan" is a million times more secure than "P4$$word".13 -
You'll have more pain convincing people that you CAN write a decent app in PHP, than writing one.
#noHatePlz3 -
Paraphrased with imaginary ending:
Me: Ok so this X will never be more than Y items and not more than one pages?
Person: Yes. it won't be more than Y items and never more than one page.
Me: If this is always Y items or less and not more than one page, I can hammer this out quick then. If it is more than that it will take much longer to complete.
Person: Awesome!!!
-later-
Person: OK here's the template for Y x10 items and multiple pages.
Me: Oh I'm sorry, we're going to have to stop working on this. I thought you actually gave a fuck about this 'important' project and that you had deadlines you cared about, but apparently not enough to participate in this conversation with any level of intellectual honesty. Please fuck off now while I go work on more productive tasks....4 -
Last year my goals were two:
- work less
- earn more
and I only achieved the second one.
Based on that, my new resolutions are:
- sleep more
- do not work more
- earn more or equal
- to gain stability
- more efficient workouts7 -
Dear web developers, whenever there is more than ONE LINE OF TEXT make sure the line-height is 1.4em.10
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One of my Senior Developer's coding practice.. :(
.
.
.
.
I think he should learn little bit more...
13 -
People using windows are true heroes
With so much troubles in their life they are still adding one more :)5 -
Programming makes one more logical.
Except, when programming makes managers imagine they are more logical.1 -
Don't focus too much on learning one specific language. After some coding getting to know a new one is going to be no problem. Focus more on paradigms and maintainable code.
Oh, and don't forget, comments are sometimes way more useful than the actual code. -
New year is the only +1 I do not give a fuck about. All it means is I am one year closer to death, so I will smoke one more cigarette after the last, one more cup of coffee with far too much sugar, and I will keep coding one more line after the other, and frankly it is just to distract me from the fact that there is always another +1, one more person to hate, one more word spoken, all so I can get to through one more year. So fuck the new year because there will always be another. But I won't always get a +1 on a rant.5
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writing a whole god damn function in one single line doesn't make it "one liner" and it DOESN'T make your code better and more readable!!!2
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One week since I disabled my Facebook account, do I spend more time on Twitter ? Probably not… on @devRantApp ? Definitely ! 👍🏻1
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Brought a stressball into work today (not a devrant one) and it popped within 10 minutes, of course causing more stress.
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If I see one more Laravel dev I'mma commit a war crime
If I see one more Laravel dev dropping env(something) around the code I'mma commit _SEVERAL_ war crimes
Remember kids: you don't work with Laravel. If you do (you don't, but let's assume), ENV IS USED ONLY IN CONFIGURATION FILES, OR LARAVEL CACHING SYSTEM FUCKING BREAKS. Ok?11 -
variableName
vs
variable_name
<imho> I prefer the second one, it is definitely more readable </imho>7 -
My favorite is when they just don’t come in one day (don’t give notice, just see ya!). If that happens more than once in a few month period, that tells you more about the department than the individuals.
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One of the popular hotel booking sites 😂😂.One more example for why need to take testing more serious when we have a huge users base 🙆
1 -
I finished a bunch of coursework yesterday and turned them in so that I could have some time to work on my side projects or self study for a few days before focusing on class again.
Today was gonna be my first day to enjoy this.
I recieve an email with the second batch of coursework thats due in a week. 7 quizzes, two exams, and 7 project labs.
Yeah, fuck you, too.2 -
Password guidelines...
Just got an online account for an insurance:
Allowed characters for password are a-z, A-Z, 0-9.
Really?
I tried special characters, maybe they just forgot to mention them. Doesn't work, "Password not valid".8 -
Vs studio 17, Y U NO COMPILE MAH C++? It's literally one tiny program, with only one "Rectangle" class. g++ likes it and compiles it clean, why can't you be more like him? :(11
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The one thing more annoying than my girlfriend is the chain of mail I get from Github saying,
"One of your dependencies has a security vulnerability."5 -
I feel like this one homework assignment taught me more about computer science than 2 learning years on my own.2
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When the user complains that our web tool is corrupting and losing data when converting results into excel while he is the one putting more that 40,000 characters into one text box which is way more than what Excel's cell can handle1
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Me(handling 3 simultaneous apps): we have too many projects need another dev to share the load
Boss: don't worry...
Proceeds to hire one more Dev and take 3 more projects on :/
Logic!=present.1 -
Yesterday senior manager called me with an offer... He needed one more person for running team in charity run.2
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"Have you tried regenerating your provisioning profiles?" Say it one more time mothefucker I dare you I double fucking dare you.
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The one thing I've learned most about developers is that developers like their lasagna more than their spaghetti.3
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Man emotions are funny
One day you're up, one day you're down
Sometimes I don't even know why I'm still trying anymore. Just to waste more time4 -
One last feature and I’ll be done with a project holy fuck. I’m so fucking close just one more class and it’s done and I can move on to something I like a little more.2
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When you hit "Run" and realize you wanna make one more change but Gradle ain't in the mood to stop...
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Somehow, shit's more fucked up on Debian systems for me than it is on Arch. Debian's supposed to be the stable one, and Arch the one that breaks, but nah.6
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Favorite programming language? Or more like what is in your opinion a staple language you think one should know?12
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My rubber duck family! Ordered from China, so 5 cost almost no more than one... Especially love the odd one with a yellow beak!
1 -
"Yep, I think I finally see the end of the project, we will be able to finish this, I just quickly need to add a simple UI on top of it and a simple admin page" - what this usually meant, that I am nowhere near anything usable, I have just created the database structure. What would have happened, if I would have actually been honest with my bosses and would have asked for more help? 😟2
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My workplace keeps moving more and more teams into the building, but the number of restrooms remains the same.
All it will take is one bad food-handling day in the cafeteria to enable battle royale mode. -
And done! Another post:
One Benefit of Automation: More Time
https://medium.com/@allanx2000/...
btw @linuxer4fun what happened to your comics?3 -
the problem of being slightly competent is that they'll give you more and more work others aren't doing. sucks to be the one carrying the party irl2
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When you have 2 "priority" projects you're working on and then the coordinator decides to give you one more...
1 -
OMFG! Another git gui? Better make one more calculator for this world. At least it could become useful somehow.2
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Apple anmiates views so nicely 😉
They have this error for so long now and it irritates me every time...
1 -
I think one point that people often forget is that bootcamps are more of a learning accelerator than a one-stop shop, and the few reputable camps around do quite a good job.1
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Say “bug fixes and performance improvements” one more time! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker! Say “bug fixes and performance improvements” one more time!2
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Never understood the hate for regular expressions, it's just one more useful tool in my eyes. Anyone want to weigh in?9
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still they lie of same improvement but underneath they have just managed to add some more ads in one or more reaming no ad screen.
4 -
I'm gonna try to use Microsoft Edge one more time at least for a week instead of Firefox… Wish me luck?8
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Pissed off as fuck. The more I explain to people that they have to provide at least one piece of evidence in order to analyze the problem, the more they end up saying "the app doesn't work".3
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one more week....one more week....one more week....
One more week until I get off this stupid ridiculous project and into something at least a bit more sane -
GoLive for this big feature is set for Thursday. So the customer approaches me and asks can our team do it. Sure it can be done if everything goes perfectly, but... This means that the feature won't be tested, everything won't probably go perfectly (which it didn't because of customer selected third party api surprise nondocumented features (bugs)) and Thursday release is almost as dumb fucking idea as Friday release. I said it more nicely and I got:
"I don't agree with you"
from a person who has 0 understanding of what is going on and whose boss pays me to tell them what it needs in order to work and prosper.
And we had this fucking conversation three times. So basically he interrupted my coding that directly impacts the schedule in order to debate how fast things can be done. Don't these people understand that everytime you interrupt a software engineer the deadline is pushed by the same amount of time you waste of mine + 30minutes of refocus time to get back into the thing you were doing.
Best part was that the deadline was this magic date the guy pulled out of his ass without consulting the developer team and nobody really cared about the deadline =D
FUCK1 -
This happens more often than I'd like to admit...
(repost since the other one contained sensitive information)
6 -
Two steps from UAT being done:
Product owner: "Oh yeah, one more thing."
My brain: "You gotta be shitting me!" -
If I hear the word "platform" one more time...
What you mean are products that support varying use cases.
IMO, it's more difficult to build/support one application that supports 3 different user types, than it is to have 3 different well-scoped applications.
Thoughts? -
I hate Mondays. I hate Mondays even more if everything went wrong. F**k this day. Tomorrow is a new one.
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Me in my first program:
mmm... i have a error in the brackets, i'll delete one bracket... mmmm... i have still errors, i'll delete one more... i have still errors, i'll add one more2 -
After a week of getting new projects thrown at me, I finally get a block of time to start one of the larger, more complicated one.
30 minutes into planning it out, prepping the workspace and diverting 90% focus to said project, someone busts in with a more complicated top priority project that needs done by end of day.2 -
One more before I go to bed,
Once I spent hours setting up shit on one of my ubuntu server via SSH and realised I'm on the wrong server later on.1 -
Why is so Fitbit so bad at multiple time zones??
Guess what, people get on planes and travel.
Every time, my Fitbit gets so screwed up, including things like changing previous step counts, or duplicating an entire day of steps.
I understand MTZ is a tough problem, but this is just unacceptable. I'm not obsessed with my steps, but when your product is all about counting something, seems like you should be more careful to avoid double counting or not counting at all. Seriously, how much R&D have they invested in their hardware and apps, but it completely fails when you travel. Get it together!1 -
Another OneDrive rant? Nope, this one is more aimed at the wifi in the train. Dutch people assemble!
3 -
Ansible... Why do one simple task manually, when you can do many smaller more complex ones automatically?
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The install will take about one more minute…
*go make a cup of tea, pack for holiday, go on holiday, return from holiday*
Ah still installing for one more minute my old friend…3 -
If I see one more motherfucking useless !important rule in this project, a motherfucker is getting stabbed
-
One more reason to "LOVE" Liferay...
Caused by: java.lang.ClassCastException: com.project.x.portlets.CurrentUser cannot be cast to com.project.x.portlets.CurrentUser1 -
In the whole world right now, only 12 people really understand CSS. One is me, eight more are my other personalities.5
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Godaddy. Do I need to say more? Theyre hosting >30k websites on one machine and one of them is the one of one of our customers. I can't upload a file >1mb and the site takes 2 minutes to load.3
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!Rant
After more than one year of searching for a dev job and finally working for some call center for one year cause I couldn't find any job who wanted to take me without any diploma, I finally got one as a php dev I'm happy but at the same time I stress cause I don't want to make any mistake and be fired. I'm starting Monday whish me good luck. I don't know if I'm more excited or more stressed I will know Monday.4 -
The conversations that come across my DevOps desk on a monthly basis.... These have come into my care via Slack, Email, Jira Tickets, PagerDuty alerts, text messages, GitHub PR Reviews, and phone calls. I spend most of my day just trying to log the work I'm being asked to do.
From Random People:
* Employee <A> and Contractor <B> are starting today. Please provision all 19 of their required accounts.
* Oh, they actually started yesterday, please hurry on this request.
From Engineers:
* The database is failing. Why?
* The read-only replica isn't accepting writes. Can you fix this?
* We have this new project we're starting and we need you to set up continuous integration, deployment, write our unit tests, define an integration test strategy, tell us how to mock every call to everything. We'll need several thousand dollars in AWS resources that we've barely defined. Can you define what AWS resources we need?
* We didn't like your definition of AWS resources, so we came up with our own. We're also going to need you to rearchitect the networking to support our single typescript API.
* The VPN is down and nobody can do any work because you locked us all out of connecting directly over SSH from home. Please unblock my home IP.
* Oh, looks like my VPN password expired. How do I reset my VPN password?
* My GitHub account doesn't have access to this repo. Please make my PR for me.
* Can you tell me how to run this app's test suite?
* CI system failed a build. Why?
* App doesn't send logs to the logging platform. Please tell me why.
* How do I add logging statements to my app?
* Why would I need a logging library, can't you just understand why my app doesn't need to waste my time with logs?
From Various 3rd party vendors:
* <X> application changed their license terms. How much do you really want to pay us now?
From Management:
* <X> left the company, and he was working on these tasks that seem closely related to your work. Here are the 3 GitHub Repos you now own.
* Why is our AWS bill so high? I need you to lower our bill by tomorrow. Preferably by 10k-20k monthly. Thanks.
* Please send this month's plan for DevOps work.
* Please don't do anything on your plan.
* Here's your actual new plan for the month.
* Please also do these 10 interruptions-which-became-epic-projects
From AWS:
* Dear AWS Admin, 17 instances need to be rebooted. Please do so by tomorrow.
* Dear AWS Admin, 3 user accounts saw suspicious activity. Please confirm these were actually you.
* Dear AWS Admin, you need to relaunch every one of your instances into a new VPC within the next year.
* Dear AWS Admin, Your app was suspiciously accessing XYZ, which is a violation of our terms of service. You have 24 hours to address this before we delete your AWS account.
Finally, From Management:
* Please provide management with updates, nobody knows what you do.
From me:
Please pay me more. Please give me a team to assist so I'm not a team of one. Also, my wife is asking me to look for a new job, and she's not wrong. Just saying.3 -
Just realized my current team owns a new project that is smaller than the one that one I left a few years ago.... and yet we have more issues and work...1
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Posted like two weeks ago that my company/manager wouldn't give me a (substantial) raise even though I'm doing exceptionally.
Got two job offers since then. One is 70% more pay and gives more benefits than my current position... The other one is similar but I'd have to move country.4 -
I dont know which one is more frightening!
Having a bug on the first run or not having one until production...3 -
1) Having the opportunity to read and write the future, with no one telling you that you can't
2) feeling superior to non-techies because as this world gets more and more digital every day, you have more potential to control them or make them dependent on you
3) hopefully the AI overlords will be more peaceful to programmers because we created them....3 -
Wait. Why does this work? It doesn't copy any of the frontend code into the deploy location.
I'm not sure how this works, but it does. Crap, there goes my morning tracking down this wretched spaghetti deploy code.
At least I understand how it works in production. Shit, why is it different between production and our integ servers ,that isn't good. Maybe I can just refactor it.
That was all on Monday. It's now Wednesday and I'm still fucking refactoring something that wasn't actually broken. It just didn't make sense.
Maybe I should just revert my last three days of work on this branch and move on. No! It's too late, I've invested way too much time into this project...
... and I'm almost done, just a few more commits right? -
So the work from home is going like, I'm coding in dreams too. It's been more than 3 days, I have successfully completed more than one module😂
I guess it is happening with everyone. -
- Stay relevant in technology
- Keep working from home and writing code
- Try to finish some personal projects
- Post more content online
- Print more 3d stuff
- Learn Blender
- Gain CKA k8 certificate and some other cloud related certificates
- Try to find one more nice remote client
That’s more on less everything related with dev / computer stuff. -
Building one or more online services that will require little maintenance and that will generate a good income. Got to stop "working" one day and own all of my time 🤑
-
Talking means more breathing. Breathing means more CO2 emissions.
Pointing instead of talking is just one step closer to saving the environment, and saving the world. -
I've been reading more books. The more I read, the more knowledge deficit I feel I have. It's an impostor syndrome circle.
One day death might free me from this misery but until then *opens another book on another programming paradigm.*3 -
went to the medicare dept at my ofc and asked for some tablets.she handed me only one tablet .
I asked for one more ,she denied saying I can't give more than one due to policies.
let the employee die but follow your policies.
m leaving this job asap.1 -
Am I the only one how press CTRL+S more times in Android Studio and notice than that it saves automatically?4
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My progress in this month.
First week : One Harddisk Electrocuted
2nd week :
3rd week : One SSD went rogue and One more HDD starts ticking after being dropped accidently.
4th week : Another HDD dies taking all my dev data with it.
Me right now : FML2 -
@dfox @trogus, could you add more profile backgrounds?
If so, a gray one would be nice for me.
Perhaps letting users upload pictures for their profile could add more customisability (for the background I mean, love the avatars).3 -
Sitting here doing some programming and watching Sneakers, one of the movies that really made me want to learn more about computers. Just wish my career was more exciting like in the movie. 😁
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One more week till holiday...
Yesterday's demo went well...
Product owner compliments team for efforts...
This week is going somewhere 😄 -
One more week and the holidays are over! I only wish time off flew by as fast as time spent working...
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One of my few friends died with unknown reasons. Would it be unethical to hack their accounts to get more info?5
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"Validation failed for one or more entities. See 'EntityValidationErrors' property for more details."
That really helps in my error log Entity Framework ❤ -
The state of js survey is out and angular got one more 1 star review.
https://stateofjs.com/en-us/2 -
Any devs know if the Xbox One X will allocate more resources to UWP apps or do we have the same resource restrictions as the Xbox One S?
If there are more allocated, is there a way to simulate an Xbox One S usage?
Couldn't find any documentation on UWP one x development :-/ -
I have seen dumb people in this industry. But this one guy specifically takes the award for being the dumbest one I have ever met. So Today... [read more]6
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Am I the only one that spends more time and puts in more effort towards my job...... than anything else in my life ??
Love my job more than anything3 -
I don't get it, why having more than one decorator looks "weird"? that's idiomatic Python AFAIK, that's sounds more like nitpicking on aesthetics :/1
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The more I read the more I am convinced "That one prick" is just a smart tactic to get new member to buy premium. I seriously thought about it just so I could verify that I'm not "That one prick". Genius DevRant.3
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Backend development!
I love my little services like a cobweb with solid bases of communication, security, logging and measuring. It can't get more fulfilling to build a service that is used by just more than one frontend. -
When my one of my two twelve-or-more-year-old Belinea 101920 displays has one of these local distortions just on that one very important word...3
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A computer programmer is just a device that can transform one or more cups of coffee into a hundred or more lines of code.3
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Me: Let's try the ballmer peak
One Beer
Other Beers
One Cuba Libre
Two Cuba Libres
Me: I think I'm ready let me take the test
Result: 93/100
mmm Interesting, let me try more.
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