types of programmers on social media from my school

#1: that bitch with a mac who barely knows enough python to write a keylogger or web scraper and implies they could make full on applications

#2: that other bitch who has windows and learned a little bit of html and flexes screenshots of their website

#3: the one who runs a club and promotes it on social media, they know java and run windows

#4: the knowledgeable, friendly linux user who's got a bomb ass personal website or plain as to their liking, and retweets cool news on twitter

#4 is the best.

Writing tasks and crossing them out is fun.

I'm actually starting to search for a new job and no clue about this so I'll just sit by and watch 😇

*Sigh* that feeling.. 😌

The best thing about running your own business is that you can go to office at noon on Monday wearing sweat pants and nobody will tell you anything.

Parallax Scrolling

Why the fuck do some people need to talk so much while working?
Let me code in peace, damnit. 😒

Finding the right balance between well written, need-one-week, maintainable software, and fast-written, ready-in-2-hours-and-never-look-at-it-again software.

Last time it took me 20 minutes to integrate with a new API. I had a script that did everything you needed. I then spent 2 weeks on handling error responses, unexpected responses, exceptions, intelligent retries, logging, unit tests, integration tests, caching, documentation, etc.

Torn between staying up all night to code or waking up very early to code.

QA: feature not working
Me: Clear the browser cache
QA: it's working now
Me: 😎

Once, I used inspect element to change Google's image to one from a meme.

My mom legit freaked out and thought I had just hacked Google themselves, and because she wouldn't believe me, I had to wait two hours until my dad got home so he could explain. During which time, I was yelled at about how we were going to be "sued for millions".

If she only understood how inspect element works.

Is it not possible for Microsoft to come up with a good browser for fucks sake!?!?

I've had my share of incompetent coworkers. In order of appearance:

1. A full stack dev. This one guy never, and I mean NEVER uses relationships in their tables. No indexing, no keys, nada. Couple of months later he was baffled why his page took ten seconds to load.

2. The same dev as (1). Requirement was to create some sort of "theme" feature for a web app. Hacked it by putting !important all over the place.

3. The same dev again. He creates several functions that if the data exists returns a view, and if it doesn't, "echo '0'". No, not return 0 or return false or anything, but fucking echo. This was PHP. If posted a rant about this a few months ago.

4. Same dev, has no idea what clean code is. No, not just reusable functions, he doesn't even get indenting right. Some functions have 4 spaces, some 2 tabs, some 6 tabs! And this is inside the same function. God wait until he tries Python...

5. Same dev now suggests that he become the PM. GM approves (very small company). Assigns me to travel to a client since they needed "technical assistance about the API". Was actually there to lead a UAT session.

Intermezzo, that guy went from fullstack dev to PM to sales (yes, one who calls clients to offer products) to business development, to product analyst in the span of two years.

After a year and a half there, I quit.

6. New company, a "QA engineer" who also assumes the role as the product owner. Does absolutely no tests other than "functional tests" in which he NEVER produces any form of documentation. Not even a set of test cases. He goes by "intuition".

7. Same guy as (6), hands me requirements for a feature. By "hands me" I mean he did that verbally. No spec documents, no slack chat, no Trello card. I ended up writing it as a card in Trello. Fast forward to the due date, he flips out because that wasn't what he wanted. Showed him the card. He walked away, without thinking of a solution how this mess should be handled.

Despite all this, I really don't want him (6&7) to leave the company. The devs get really stressed out at this job and he does make a really good person to laugh with/at.

When the code you wrote 3 months ago is actually reusable else were in your program #OOP

My dev Goals:
- Write better code commenting more.
- Create my first Open Source Project and publish it on GitHub.
- Improve my design skills.

Some people have Ducks... I got those 🤷‍♂️

Okay so here are a few lessons that I have learned from being an intern to a junior developer (who’s just 2 years out of college).
- every ninja engineer starts off as a noob. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you don’t know “everything” about coding
- Respect everyone’s opinion (including the one that shouts your design is crap in a meeting). Don’t process them too much.
- leave things that happen at work, in the workplace
- Keep yourself up to date even after you’ve bagged the 100,000$ offer. Never.stop.learning.
- Be polite to your interns (been there). They look up to you and treat their juniors the way you treat them.
- Be honest. Including your tiny scrum updates. If you need more time, tell it. If you’ve screwed up something , own it up.
- Never blame or point fingers.
- Nothing is irreversible.(except things like sudo rm -rf/)
- There’s always a way out(of any mess).
- Respect what came before.
- Respect what comes after (before you push badly written code)
- It’s ok to point out mistakes but Be kind. (Else you’ll end up in someone else’s rant ;-) )

Me: "I'll never be able to do this"

Me: "I suck at coding"

Me: "What am I even looking at"

Me: "Im going to get fired for being incompetent"

Me: "They could have hired a child with more coding prowess"

Supervisor: "Hey, good job. Keep up the good work."

Me: "Pfft of course you're talking to a pro here."

Best non dev activity for me is riding public transports home after coding. It's so underwhelming that my brain focuses really well - comes with the problem of looking crazy when I take out my laptop in the middle of the subway

Just sayin

Talking to myself regularly.

It made it really easy to communicate with my duck later on.

11pm: Just a couple more lines...
4am: I can do better. Lemme start over

!important

Client calls: "hey man, my shit isnt working".
Me: "uh... Have you pressed ctrl+f5?" while coding on the speed of light so i can say it was his browser problem

!rant

Boss: ehi I was checking out our latest product (made in vuejs) it's blazing fast and responsive.

Me : shiny eyes "... Can I refactor our biggest project from angular 1.5 to vuejs?"

Boss: "mmh what can you save from the old code base? "

Me: "mmh.. A lot.. Mmh like.. The CSS!"

Boss : "no"

I hoped!

My army is growing

Not backing up my 4 year projects folder on my 5 years old laptop...

RIP long forgotten projects

Not starting to learn programming until 27

The fact that I was just able to unplug my phone because it was fully charged and just swap the cable to my Chromebook just makes me way too excited for the future of tech peripherals!

(Yes I love USB-C and Bluetooth and am one of those people who are happy and excited to see the headphone jack die)