When clients asking for the revisions..

Met a client. He need some abc services. Client asked me what will be the sla uptime. I told him unintentionally that it will be 99% instead of 99.99% and he was like that's good. I mean seriously....?

Was he okay with the 3 days 15 hrs downtime?

I run "Maltego" and impress everyone when whole tree gets generated by email/username. 😎

What the fuck do you do when you find out your life is a lie?

So yesterday I was testing my friend's app which as said by him is 100% okay.
I found 48 major bugs and reported him. His reaction was "Dude these are just minor issues and client don't even know about it. See there is some real bugs?"

RIP to the app developer and the client.

3 types of beginner programmers. Everyone has gone from this stage.

My boss just revised my report and sent it back with new file names. Memes have officially infiltrated the workplace.

I once met a very cute client. Inner me was saying​ to go and get this girl. But company's code of conduct is completely against it that an employee shouldn't ask his/her clients out with you or date with him/her. Even my colleagues knew me as a man of criteria. So I leave
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the Code of Conduct and now she is my gf. :)

When you need multiple alarms to get your fat ass up.

When your mind is so fuck that you use mouse to change the A.C temperature instead of it's remote.

Leaving swift be like....

I broke up with my girlfriend today

She asked me a help of a some real time issue.
What she actually want to accomplished is to copy content through mouse from one laptop, unplugged the mouse, plugging in the mouse to other laptop and trying to paste content there.

When the code runs perfectly on the very first hit.