Everyone’s a “fullstack” until they have to make a button go all the way to the right

call me gay but I love vscode <3

I'm ashamed to call Australia home. The adulterer who voted against same sex marriage because it would endanger the sacred family was elected again. I wish I was living in Saudi Arabia.

I'm gonna be honest with you guys.

I need a friend. A real friend. And I'm looking for one (or many) among you.

Is any of you interested in being my friend?

I know, it sounds weird. My inner self bully is bringing to mind many adjectives for saying that: faggot, weak, snowflake, gay, pussy, clingy, demanding.

I know. But I'm at the edge of 30 and I think it's better if I cut the shit and just be very clear about the type of friend I'm looking for.

I need people that will be there when the shit gets tough.

I can joke with you,
I can laugh my ass off with you,
I can passionately argue about what's the better programming language.

But most importantly, I can be there when you're depressed, when you want to punch your boss in the face, when you're griefing a loved one that is gone.

And that exactly what I'm looking in a friend.

I used to have friends in life, but a variety of circumstances caused some distance: commitments, personality changes, physical distance, or just a feeling that they don't give two shits about me.

Am I the perfect friend? Not at all. I have a temper and am quite opinionated about my tools, but most of the times I try to be a not-asshole.

I might get angry and be very honest when I don't like something, but it would be very weird for me to turn my back on a friend.

It is impossible for someone to be friends with and to like everyone. But the least I can do is just give anyone a chance.

I think friendships are just things that take time and grow if there is enough care put into them.

Here's my discord chirptune#1829, so if you add me, please let me know your username here.

I think it'd be cool to have like a brotherhood on discord or slack of people looking out for each other (jesus christ, that sounds corny as fuck)

Not to rob people from devrant, I just think that the board style can't fulfill deeper social needs imo, that's all.

General advice: If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

Me: *receives SMS from ex girlfriend*
GF: "I'm horny, whatcha doing now?"
Me: "Not much, just working on the update system to this tool which will be used with mod. Can't talk right now"

This was the fastest "murdering of the mood" I ever done.

Simple but effective 😎😎😎😅😅

Simple flowchart XD

Standards, why follow them?

//TODO: Add Camera

Fucking awesome. The 'encryption backdoor law' in Australia went through!

Now, whenever served with such warrants, companies which are active in Australia will have to pay hefty fines if they don't give encrypted messages to law enforcement in readable form. No matter whether this means just decrypting it with the keys they have or pushing backdoors/inject code into the messaging apps/services in order to extract the contents.

Now let's see how much the big companies really care about their users! (I'd expect them to pull out of Australia but the chance that this'll happen is as tiny as about nothing)

Boss: You'll need to make the presentation an hour earlier than usual. There'll be 20 people attending..

Me: Sure. Will everyone show up?

Boss: Oh yes, they'll show up.

*Reschedules other work at home*
*Gets 4 hours of sleep to wake up earlier*
*Prepares material*

*Shows up for the meeting 5 minutes earlier*

*Crickets chirp*

There literally wasn't a single person there. Everyone shows up at the normal fucking time and good old boss was 2 fucking hours late.

Guess what the presentation was for? To solve the fucking issue of why stuff never gets done on time and nothing works right. I think I might have a tiny fucking idea why, at this point.

In our self-developed intranet, i added a hidden script that fires an 'event' when you enter the konami code.

Said event it's simply turning thw screen contrast to 200% and play the audio of 'omae wa mou shindeiru'.

I was planning to make some more of those, but i don't have the time to do them ;_;

I really think DevRant should change "Comment" buttons to "//" or "/**/", or something in that fashion. That would fit well with the increments and decrements :)

++'er of the year

You, stupid fucking game, have just sent me my new password in plain text via email?

"the password is encrypted and cannot be sent again"???
So… you send the password in plain text, and only then encrypt it, right?
But it's still in plain text in your email logs, fucking bastards.

Having a bug about this

No questions asked

The feels.

Shame me later for piracy but I think i just found the goldmine of books and vid tuts. Has packt(books, vids) and even O'Reilly books as recent as last month. This good boye has EVERYTHING.
coderprog.com

Everytime I see a topic about Linux ...

*Reinstalls devrant
*Double taps some rants
DevRant: Dood did you know that you can DOUBLE TAP rants to updoot!?!

Classic

Those LAN port splitter are getting out hand

I was joking with my colleague what is the best comment for this if hell.
And now my boss send me this 🤣🤣🤣

Surprise, a "user" maintained repository, is able to host malware, shocker.

https://sensorstechforum.com/arch-l...

Pessimist: a O(2^n) algorithm's performance decreases exponentially as input increases.

Optimist: a O(2^n) algorithm's performance increases exponentially as input decreases.

Of course there's fucking AI included in the description.

Miniclip.com anyone.....