Friend: I hate my new OnePlus 6. It's really slow and hangs a lot

Me: I can't believe

Friend: Use it yourself, you'll know.

*Me using his phone
*Realising it was really slow
*Checking his installed apps

- CCleaner
-DU Booster
-Antivirus free version
-Antivirus pro
-Antivirus ultimate
-Battery Saver
-App Booster
-Super Cleaner
-RAM Master

*poured poision in his coffee
*enjoyed watching him die slowly

As an introvert, this is a big challenge. A few years ago, I buried my social life to be focused on my work. But after some years, I realized this was doing more harm than good to me.
Since then I try to dedicate more time to friends, social events, and family. It's not easy to keep in touch, invite to a coffee, joining a class/activity and meet new people. Everyone's life is so busy today. But it's worth.
I always feel so much better after have a good conversation, sharing experiences and ideas.

Boss: "is it done yet?"

Me: "I've been telling everyone we have a problem and I need all hands on deck. I've already analyzed the issue and explained it to you and the options but YOU PEOPLE NEED TO DECIDE or I decide and probably break things along the way..."

Why does everyone ignore me when I need help but are ok asking me when they need help?

/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻

With all the memes and rants, they just don't learn.
I got this in email 20 minutes back.

Front foremost page of bitbucket. Wasting no time taking advantage of business opportunities.

(I don't know if this has already been shared yet)

Them: Migrating their repositories to gitlab/bitbucket.

My classmates: using Google docs as Version Control.

Why not to use gitlab:
-Runs on ruby which is VERY VERY VERY wasteful in processing power and thus in energy
-It's hosted on azure

Why to stay with github:
-There won't be a lot of change
-It's reliable and this won't change so fast
-It's like admitting defeat towards MS who want to ruin our lives lol

Developers

"Never believe anything that is written on the Internet"
- Mahatma Gandhi, 2006

Who says Windows is useless....

Running a python script to swap wifi networks, auto connect to VPN servers, run SSH commands and SFTP files to servers, downloading numerous files, sifting through outlook for emails, running excel macros for data cleansing, cell merging and formulas all at the click of a button 😱

Oh yea.. this is all 1 task that I never have to do again😂

Windows is useless for development you say? 🤔

How do you call a sick developer?

A Devil.

Well that joke was shit

To be or not to be.
Whenever you are stuck with something in life, ask that question to yourself.
Because
2b || !2b
Is a Boolean expression which will always be true. So asking that question will lead you to true self.
Peace ☮️

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wish I could be this creative

Client asks for a sponsorship page that has rows of logos, 6 rows total. "Okay."

They want the logos at the top to be bigger than the ones below. "Sure."

They want the logos to decrease in size by 20% per row. "But there are 6 rows...?"

"Our agreement says 20% difference between each sponsor tier. Can you do it?"

"Okay...but, I don't think you want 20%..."

"Hey, why can't we see any logos on the bottom row..."

😤😤😤

Everyday I fell my soul being sucked by this job.

We have too much liberty and it's all scattered, every fucking project uses a different framework.

Everything is a mess, no one seems to care and I'm feeling like shit for being the only one that seems to care.

Every time I start job hunting I fell depressed because of this nonsense bullshit they call job requirements.

Just wanna run away from this mess and never look back.

That awkward moment when your Girl needs you not as a friend but as a web dev because of a javascript bug in an online job portal that won't let you send your application because the hidden field auto fill crashes due to exhausted free requests to the Google maps API...

I don’t get marketing directors. They basically get paid a ton of money to pay an agency to do their job.

I mean... my mum could pick up the phone to an agency and say “make me a campaign for this”.

What’s worse is when said marketing director comes over to the tech people and starts asking questions, and you KNOW he’s only asking them because someone at the agency he’s hired has asked him the same question.

And then sometimes I find myself feeling sorry for them. Imagine being a marketing person... imagine being a useless cunt and knowing everyone knows it..,

Slack: "People can't work when we're down"

GitHub: "Hold my beer"

Most of us geeks can relate to this..

JavaScript will follow you XD

I play this song every time when I check bad code

Finish this sentence :

“Everytime I code, ...”

My answer :
“Hope is not with me”

Nothing to say...

My customer service girl just told me that she gonna charge $20 to a client. The client bought one of our web development packages and requested us to create LinkedIn, Google+, Twitter and Instagram account so he can put those on his restaurant website.

Don't be surprised if I became millionaire around 2020.

// $20 can give us like 5 KFC meals here.