if it works...

The hardest thing about video conferencing is trying to look interested and not react to stupid comments for two hours straight.

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

Monday to Friday.
09:00 to 17:30.

So... Facebook just stated that they plan on loosening up the End-to-end encryption in WhatsApp to analyze the messages and show user-specific advertisements.

Time to uninstall WhatsApp I guess!

The feeling when you type "ls" in Windows CMD and wait for output. But it's say, "ls is not recognized as internal or external command".

more real than id like to admit

choose any one:
your number of friends is:

1) NaN
2) Null
3) Not defined
4) 0

I just became a devrant supporter!

Maturity is transitioning from throwing errors to catching them.

me: "aye im a cool functional programmer, monads are useful, whats up loop using plebs'

also me: *passes input argument as terminating condition*

Looking into a helper class written by someone who was clearly not a master of their craft. The class deals with some string IDs...

public getIDPosition1(String id){
return id.substring(0,1);
}

So far so useless. But it gets better. What is declared immediately below the above method?

public getIDPosition2(String id){
return id.substring(1,2);
}

And below that? You guessed it:

public getIDPosition3(String id){
return id.substring(2,3);
}

This continues to position 10.... -.-

Can't sleep

The hardest part of programming is not the inner workings of the chosen frameworks and tech.

It's the damn naming.

I will spend hours trying to figure out what to name things for sense and clarity and then a fraction of that time coding it together.

*me, staring out the window*

"Hey dude can you--"

"Ssshhh. I'm naming things."

Found this quote from a really awesome person on the internet.
Can't agree more on the last sentence.

This is why I like it when my colleague can't make it to work 😁

YES!! I've just convinced my home supervisor to switch to Linux 😁

Coding drunk | durnk | Drukn ;)

Support in the nutshell.

Area of focus: my desk
Why: because that's where my laptop sits

Oh no. 😞

We've all been there.

This one never gets old 😂

People asking me to make websites...

You need an adapter to plug your iPhone into the new Macbook Pro 😂

Now if you have an iPhone 7:
you have iPhone headphones that can't be plugged into the MacBook
you have Mac headphones that can't be plugged into the iPhone
you have an iPhone that can't be plugged into the MacBook

diskpart

list disk

select disk 1

clean

*silence*

*more silence*

Fuck

Ubuntu vs. Arch thingie stuff...

Reading other's code be like...

When u send ur code for review and instead of getting comments for logic u put in, u get 10+ comments regarding variable names , extra lines and formatting.
LMF

How??