Made me laugh

Job offers be like:
We need a VIRGIN with atleast 2 years EXPERIENCE of SEX...

In case of fire

Me:i want a mac book
Mum:Its pronounced as "math book"
me:😧

That moment when you realize that you are workaholic, make final push to your personal project, hide computer away, and gaze out of the window, realizing that you are nothing without computer.

Saw an add on my fb feed:
"We will make you a programmer in 6 weeks" - course in programming.

6 f*king weeks! I've been studying 5 years, wrote down butt loads of code, debugged billions of bugs, read hundreds pages of documentation and I wouldn't call my self a full developed programmer.

But hey, those fu*kers will make you a programmer in 6 weeks!

Dealing with a client that won't pay:

Add opacity to the body tag and increase it every day until the site completely fades away...

!rant
Almost time for Halloween again 😄

When the team isn't holding anymore

I've forgot root password to open this one...Seems no soda for me today

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

Boss: "it's not the same font"
Me: "yes, it is"
Boss: "don't argue with me. It's a different font"
Me: "ok it's a different font" (it's not)
Boss: "change it please"

15 minutes later and I've done nothing at all to it. Boss comes back.

Boss: "see? I knew it was a different font. This looks perfect now. Why were you lying to me before? I don't like you arguing with me"

Explain the movie Inception to a programmer.....
Basically, when you run a VM inside another VM, inside another VM, inside another VM…, everything runs real slow!

When your code compiles without errors

!rant
This is one of the best explanation I have ever seen for the difference between SIGTERM and SIGKILL.
Picture credit : www.itsfoss.com

Hit + if you are on my side

So here I am in iceland watching Aurora with my gf, and suddenly I realized somewhere in my code at work I freaking forgot to add 1 to the denominator of a fraction. Shitty shit shit, gonna go back to work finding NaNs everywhere. Fuck fuck fuck

Arch guys !!

This is Epic...

Found in the source code of a site. Interesting.

At a funeral.....

A visitor: What's the WiFi password here?

Priest: Respect the dead

Visitor: All small letters ?...

Hahahaja!

Recursion Problems

My smartphone specifications list
1. Should come with 3.5 mm jack
2. No exploding battery please.