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Search - "inception"
Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??
Me: It's not that easy believe me.
Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?
Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...
Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.33
Explain the movie Inception to a programmer.....
Basically, when you run a VM inside another VM, inside another VM, inside another VM…, everything runs real slow!5
Any devs here that Code in C/C++...?
Or am I lost in "webRant".
Make pointers great again!75
Uncle: I need a app for my company.
Me: Sure. What for?
Uncle: Managing my employees on the fly.
Me: So you need a backend, server cost around 20$ month.
Uncle: hmm ok I talk to you next time.
This happens literally with everyone that asks me for a App :/11
Wife: the neighbors brought their pc, it doesn't work.
Me: WTF did I say to you. I DON'T REPAIR ANYTHING NO PCS, PRINTERS, WASHMACHINES NOTHING TELL THEM TO GET THE FUCKING PC GODDAMIT ITS MY FREE DAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.5
This story starts over two years ago... I think I'm doomed to repeat myself till the end of time...
[I'm thrust into the world of Microsoft Exchange and get to learn PowerShell]
Me: I've been looking at email growth and at this rate you're gonna run out of disk space by August 2014. You really must put in quotas and provide some form of single-instance archiving.
Management: When we upgrade to the next version we'll allocate more disk, just balance the databases so that they don't overload in the meantime.
[I write custom scripts to estimate mailbox size patterns and move mailboxes around to avoid uneven growth]
Me: We really need to start migration to avoid storage issues. Will the new version have Quotas and have we sorted out our retention issues?
Management: We can't implement quotas, it's too political and the vendor we had is on the nose right now so we can't make a decision about archiving. You can start the migration now though, right?
Me: Of course.
Me: At this rate, you're going to run out of space again by January 2016.
Management: That's alright, we should be on track to upgrade to the next version by November so that won't be an issue 'cos we'll just give it more disk then.
[As time passes, I improve the custom script I use to keep everything balanced]
Me: We will run out of space around Christmas if nothing is done.
Management: How much space do you need?
Me: The question is not how much space... it's when do you want the existing storage to last?
Management: October 2016... we'll have the new build by July and start migration soon after.
Me: In that case, you need this many hundreds of TB
Storage: It's a stretch but yes, we can accommodate that.
[I don't trust their estimate so I tell them it will last till November with the added storage but it will actually last till February... I don't want to have this come up during Xmas again. Meanwhile my script is made even more self-sufficient and I'm proud of the balance I can achieve across databases.]
Oct 2016 (last week)
Me: I note there is no build and the migration is unlikely since it is already October. Please be advised that we will run out of space by February 2017.
Management: How much space do you need?
Me: Like last time, how long do you want it to last?
Management: We should have a build by July 2017... so, August 2017!
Me: OK, in that case we need hundreds more TB.
Storage: This is the last time. There's no more storage after August... you already take more than a PB.
Management: It's OK, the build will be here by July 2017 and we should have the political issues sorted.
Sigh... No doubt I'll be having this conversation again in July next year.
On the up-shot, I've decided to rewrite my script to make it even more efficient because I've learnt a lot since the script's inception over two years ago... it is soooo close to being fully automated and one of these days I will see the database growth graphs produce a single perfect line showing a balance in both size and growth. I live for that Nirvana.6
Boy, this Monday mornig was crazy...
At 7 am, as I just left my flat, I received an ultra urgent email from the CEO of a company we exchanged the fileserver for, that the network shares are not available.
I instantly turned around, went back to my flat, fired up my HAL9000 supercomputer and connected remotely.
4 levels deep (PC => VPN => Remotedesktop => vSphere Client => VM) I felt like I was in the movie Inception and tried to figure out what happened.
I don't know why, but in the logs it said that the fileserver VM was down since 4am. Holy sithlord... why?
After restarting and the usual problems with Windows Network Names, everything was back online.
My special thanks go to Mr. Coffee, who is always a great companion during monday mornings, Mr. VPN, the great fellow who invented the VPN and last but not least "The Internet" for connecting me to a world of binary, where every idea finds a listener and where Ajit Pai can be memed without concequences.
FUCK YOU Ajit. Harlem Shake is so 2013.2
New company moved in above us... Slogan : Blockchain, AI, Augmented reality and banking apps.....
Dude come on thee must be a buzzword CEO3
It happend again.... Saturday, nice weather.....
And I am at the airport again because of a critical bug.... Goddammit why......5
Sunday morning... Guess what? I'm at the FUCKING airport why you ask? Because I need to fly somewhere to school the stupid customer how to use our fucking app.
Instead I could sleep in my warm bed. Or write some code also in my warm bed. WHYYYYYYYY??!?!8
Today I needed to check something in a remote server: this was the easiest way:
1: teamviewer to my home pc from university
2: started a vm on that machine with vpn connection to my work office
3: rdp to a windows server vm
4: ssh to a vm on our hosting cluster
5: from there, ssh to the server that I needed access to7
That would probably be implementing multithreading in shell scripts.
The idea (though not the project itself) was born back when I still was a sysadmin. Maintaining 30k servers 24/7 was quite something for a team of merely ~14 people. That includes 1st line support as well.
So I built a script to automate most of my BAU chores. You could feed a list of servers - tens or hundreds or more - and execute the same action on each of them (actions could be custom or predefined in the list of templates). Neither Puppet nor Chef or Ansible or anything of sorts was consistently deployed in that zoo, not to mention the corp processes made use of those tools even a slower approach than the manual one, so I needed my own solution.
The problem was the timing. I needed all those commands to execute on all the servers. However, as you might expect, some servers could be frozen, others could be in DMZ, some could be long decommed (and not removed from the listings), etc. And these buggars would cause my solution to freeze for longer than I'd like. Not to mention that running something like `sar -q 1 10` on 200 servers is quite time-consuming itself :)
And how do I get that output neatly and consistently (not something you'd easily get with moving the task to a background with '&'. And even with that you would not know when are all the iterations complete!)?
So many challenges...
I started building the threading solution that would
- execute all the tasks in parallel
- do not write anything to disks
- assign a title to each of the tasks
- wait for all the tasks to complete in either
> the same sequence as started
> as soon as the task finishes
- keep track of each task's
> return code
> sequence ID
- execute post-finish actions (e.g. print to the console) for each of the tasks -- all the tracked properties are to be accessible by the post-finish actions.
The biggest challenges were:
a) how do I collect all that output without trashing my filesystems?
b) how do I synchronize all those tasks
c) how do I make the inception possible (threads creating threads that create their own threads and so on).
Took me some time, but I finally got there and created the libbthread library. It utilizes file descriptors, subshells and some piping magic to concentrate the output while keeping track of all the tasks' properties. I now use it extensively in my new tools - the ones where I can't use already existing tools and can't use higher-level languages.4
Could you put a backdoor on the software so i can see what my employees are doing ? Don't worry I'll pay you more.
Yeahhhh buddy I'm out, give me my card back.
What the fuck im going back to my open source safespace.5
Sideproject/side job is getting ready....
30 screens in Sphere for synchronized playback :)
I love Linux, use it almost daily
, but those windows update horror storys aren't happening when I'm using windows.
I think those days are gone, and people are just hating.27
this is getting ridiculous8
I work as a software developer for a small and specialized company on a very popular, albeit niche, piece of system software.
This software has been around for a while, and in that while it has ages. If there is one thing you could say to have aged gracefully--well, this thing ain't it. The codebase itself is what anyone would expect of a large-ish C++/C product started in the mid 2000s: documented poorly (and where it is documented, documented *wrong*), full of obscure bugs, full of idiosyncratic design choices that caused the obscure bugs in the first place, and a code style--or rather a general approach to software engineering--taken straight fom the 80s.
It is also fair to say that the product has been developed by marketing. What started out as a company-internal project to help others get work done was perceived as valuable for others, quickly rushed out to market, and "developed" by listening to whichever customer screamed loudest at that point in time. ("Developed", in the "duct tape and WD40" style of development similar to an early 90s web page: the result has no class, no style and everything users find "interesting" to interact with is a java applet.)
About six months ago the powers that be finally acknowledged that a codebase that has not seen a single line of refactoring since its inception over ten years ago is not a solid foundation for further business. What was once an openly hostile attitude towards refactoring and general improvement of the codebase itself rather than the set of user-visible functions slowly morphed into a secretly hostile attitude. Upper-level management continued to denigrate developers seeking to improve the system citing their own experience ten years ago as reason why things must still be done exactly as they have did. Parts of this upper-level management were soon complimented on their work and it was suggested they take the next step in their carreer.
Which they did, with two toes of one foot. The other eight remained in internal discussions and, more importantly, inside the head and arse of the new managers. Which promptly turned just as secretly hostile and blocked all attempts at improvement. Instead it is highlighted that the developers are clearly not smart enough to do their jobs.
Meanwhile the entire project is falling behind deadlines. We've failed to deliver on three accounts already and are now nine months behind on another plan that was set for 15 months nine months ago. (Yes. We have officially started working on this thing, but no work has been done. More to the point, work has been *started*, but is stalled or rejected continuously because "that's not what we would have done five years ago" or "you can't change that, whoever wrote it must have thought about this a lot.")
And now upper-level management has begun reverting changes that same upper-level management has requested and signed off on. Without communication. So that developers don't start work on things they have not signed off on (because they don't read the plans or give any feedback). Because developers are not qualified for their jobs and must be closely monitored to ensure they don't break stuff. Which was already broken. Because the product has been bitrotting since birth.
Fuck my life.3
Am I the fucking only one here that lives from paycheck to paycheck in the middle of Europe even tho I earn not bad....
I hate money...14
When something doesn't work you open a ticket on the ticketing platform. Today ticket platform was not working: Ticket-Inception4
Between containers, cluster managers and virtual machines we've lost track of where our code even is.4
This is quite interesting and one hell of a find by this guy... Google (and other browser vendors) should reward him:
Didn't understand the movie inception?
It's basically the same as running a VM in a VM in a VM in a VM in a...2
"Don't call it Application, call it Website. If you Code produces an executable that the user can run then call it Application". Fcking WEBDESIGNERS11
What if you use C++ to implement C++ code into C++ so you can have a better version of C++ called C++++?6
Probably the MOST complete software book on a very broad subject.
This is book to read for those of you are near college grad, first job in the industry. But to the level of detail and broad coverage this book has I think it’s actually a great book for everyone in the industry almost as a “baseline”
From requirements, project planning, workflow paradigms. Software Architecture design, variable naming, refactoring, testing, releasing the book covers everything, not only high level but also in reference to C.
Why C ...because in the consumer electronics, automotive industry, medical electronics and other industries creating physical products c is the language of choice, no changing that. BUT it’s not a C book... it contains C and goes into dept into C but it’s not a C book, C is more like a vehicle for the book, because there are long established, successful industry’s built around it. Plenty of examples.
When I say it’s the most complete on a broad subject seriously like example the chapter about the C language is not a brief over like many other books, for example 10 pages alone are dedicated to just pointer! Many C books have only a few paragraphs on the subject. This goes on depth.
Other topics, recursion, how to write documentation for your code.
Lots of detail and philosophy of the construction of software.
Even if you are a veteran software engineer you could probably learn a thing or two from the book.
It’s not book that you can finish in weekend, unless you can read and comprehend over 1000 pages.
Very few books cover such a broad topic ALL while still going into great detail on those subtopics. the second part is what lacks in most “broad topic books” ..
Code Complete.. is definitely “Complete”
So the image doesn’t match the rest of my book images because I tried to make an amage to cover of the book, inception style kinda haha 😂19
FINALLY after 48 hours coding. 1000 lines of algorythms ....
Managed to sync video playback on 30 Machines, didnt go to work "sick".
All this for a side project.
Doesnt possibly work they said....8
you're fucking awesome , can't believe I'm saying this but I couldn't work without Visual Studio anymore.
The last year I had projects on all platforms out there and I've used dotnet for all of them.
Mr Nadella is the best thing that happened to you ever.
Visual Studio is free and like the rest of the tools it's only a matter of Time till you open source Vs.
Thank you !
Proud to be a corporate fanboy.8
I need to do codereviews at work...
Everytime i get c# code im just happy, it's beautiful to look at, easy to follow, new language features every couple of months or so...
And then I get Java/Android Code.... 😩☠🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️.
(I mainly code in C++)3
Visual Studio Code - ever since the beta.
VS Code is... amazing. There's no words to describe it. It's just amazing.
VSCode since the inception was just this tiny version of Visual Studio that you can transform into your own little IDE. That was the whole point of VSCode - it was a extensible editor. For many years I've used it and never looked back, I still use VS from time to time but Microsoft really nailed this one.
Most of the editors I knew lacked good auto completion and good linting, which IntelliSense was good, and it became even greater once support for languages started piling up. Themes also were top notch, I still remember you can't theme the entire window just the editor, nowadays you can.
And last but not the least is the Remote integration. I didn't need to leave my OS just to do work from another, I just need a SSH agent and it works. It's very straightforward and easy.
Overall Visual Studio Code is a editor that is more about choice and your own style - which makes it unique from IDEs, its fresh and its definitely earned its place as one of the most sought after tools in development.3
Corporate take on Inception: A meeting about a meeting which discussed an email about an email.
Making developers say "fuck it...ill just build it myself" since its inception.
I swear....for small intranet shit sure...whatever y know...but when it comes to actual design this piece of shit is so quirky.7
Today I attended a teamviewer meeting. The host were using a Mac, running VirtualBox with Windows 7 which was connected to a Windows 8 machine through Remote Desktop (rdp) with a putty session to the server we were configuring.
2 weeks before release of my App.
Have implemented nearly all major features.
Everytime I tell myself ah I can work tomorrow. What am I doing instead? Fucking Gaming lol.
Motivation is a bitch...5
Boss: look we have only VR projects this year. You need to learn Unity.
ME: NO fucking way..... FUCK You unthankful PRICK. I'm not going to learn your fucking unity bullshit after all those backends, mobile apps, code I've wrote for you? I FUCKING HATE UNITY. Time for a new job I guess.13
During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred. I have to confirm I'm not in Inception.1
Bought a s8 only to fucking hate it again. FUCKING Bixby i dont fucking need you. FUCK you Samsung. I want Google fucking Assistant you piece of shit.18
After Kosovo - Serbian war (1999) ended, we did end up with absolutely nothing and a German KFOR soldier surprised me with an old Windows machine, and that day I got hooked.
AI is never going to write code efficient like Humans do.
The whole AI, neural network bullshit is overrated.
Training a Network to recognize Images or playing Super Mario is far away from writing code.4
I just want to get fucking home... This is the second flight canceled... NO I DONT WANT TO GET IN A FUCKING HOTEL AND FLY TOMORROW...
Excuse me sir your flight was canceled.... SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING SLUT
DON'T EVER FLY WITH THOSE FUCKTARDS3
My rough assumptions on wtf is going on with covid changing our lives - maybe leading to some business ideas.
In theory we are indoctrinated from little child that to do something we need to go to special place to do things in community.
Name it :
As a result we build world around communities:
- public transportation
- 4 seated cars
- shopping malls
Now due to pandemic we’re unable to do so and from some time we start indoctrinating people to do lots of things remotely and stay at home:
- remote job
Depending on how strong is our character we react to this inception differently but future generations won’t have this indoctrination of commutation deep in their minds.
My first assumption is that robotics market will start growing exponentially.22
Developing and deploying in Xcode is some Requiem for a Dream level bullshit.
I literally just de selected everything for managing automatic signing, and re-selected the EXACT SAME GODDAMN THING. And it worked. It’s literally some fucking shit you do when you are first learning how to code or learning a language and you keep flipping something but you don’t get exactly how it works.
But this is YOUR FUCKING FLAGSHIP development product. I shouldn’t have to check my goddamn inception totem to see if I’m dreaming or not because this kind of bullshit can’t be real life.
That being fucking said your bullshit forced shutdown also FUCKED MY ANDROID STUDIO INSTALLATION AND FUCKED MY $PATH. Thanks. Now NOTHING WORKS. Fuck you Apple. Between slowing my phone and the cluster or problems your shit is causing that are just random as hell and are plenty common because thank god people smarter than me have fixed them in SO by now, I am SO READY TO LEAVE THE APPLE ECO SYSTEM. If I didn’t have to use one of the boxes to push iPhone app updates I doubt I would touch one again.
Apple stuff looks good but at this point that’s about it.
You know that moment, when you look for something on wikipedia, and after few hiperlinks you are reading about influence of penguins on Mars' day length or othen nonsense?
Just happened to me like 4th time when reading Django documentation. It is so well written and easy to understand, that I just click and click and want to go deeper, and then realise I have to read what I need, because I never ever got to it in the first place.
Gotta love the people who make such docs. I never could, and prbly will.1
I am a xamarin developer , would like to try "native" android dev.
What's the best IDE for android development? Should I give Kotlin a try ?6
Me: focused on coding....
Manager: we have that call tomorrow with the customers it guy.
Manager: could you write the questions down, so you don't forget it.
Me: I Am FUCKING CODING.... I WROTE THE FUCKING SYSTEM ITTSSS MINE I DON'T FORGET WHAT I WROTE YOU PIECE OF SHIT....
So here's something: most of what I do is develop tools for speeding up production and organize projects rather than directly work on the project itself.
And you know it's kind of like the the Xzibit inception meme and I can't possibly be the first one to draw this comparison. I mean yaa mang I heard yous into developing software, so I developed software to help you develop software.
I really am wondering, can I actually call this DevOps? Would that be technically true? I mean it's just a dumbass fancy term put in place of "i avtomat my shit" and I don't care for it, but if it looks good on a resume then it looks good on a mother fucking resume.
Like I'm seeing how swapping "generalist programmer" for "*DevOps Specialist*" would get those HR panties wet. Aaah, I can almost taste damoneys!4
Fucking hatttteeee airports... I'm a developer not in fucking sales.
My boss let's me fix bugs at the client5
C# is getting so fucking obfuscated with these null check inceptions. Found the following in my company's code base. Why did it take me and 3 other devs an hour to figure out how to write this if statement into a flowchart?
if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? b?.Id))...😫😫😫
FYI: We figured it and also found some bugs with logic, but can you? I'll post our flowchart if ranters are interested.
So to add to the madness:
if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? (b?.Any() ? b.Id : null)))...🤯🤯🤯25
I don't really get why the word inception is used as a synonym for recursion.
Inception is about injecting a tought in someone else's mind.
... or is that just me? ...2
I loved you Xamarin.Forms I really did.
I defended you everywhere... Released 5 apps.
You FUCKING SUCK, no svg support (no none of the apis work), startup time is FUCKING insane, i could go on for hours......
Please any Android Developer out there is there any smooth transition to native? (Dont tell me about Js bullshit)
Help me fell the Native Power of Android.
Show me that apps don't need 20 seconds to start.8
AI has developed a lot since its inception. I think AI is the fu....ck you.
oops, it wasn't me. AI did that.3
what's your thoughts about the new windows terminal thingy. Always ran Ubuntu on top of windows in a virtual machine cause college and stuff. but what do you guys think?21
Lots of Web devs here I know but I hate js and the rest of it :)
I was thinking why can't we use the Terminal for instead of the Web ... Nobody can take my dream away...;) IT'S MINE3
Tried this today:
Xubuntu running Ubuntu on a Virtualbox machine running Android emulator (ie. running Java virtual machine(s))
Failed miserably and even if it would have worked, I think the performance would have been horrible.1
Why do people still use ftp, Its been 45 years since its inception and some application just rely on it6
Used pip install to integrate tensorflow with python 3.5 on windows 10 machine but there were no models available in it. Had to download that separately and add it to tensorflow. Then tried using both inception and clasify_image.py but gives name error cannot find core. But when tested on python idle there were no error there. I don't want to custom create my own classifier but retrain the model. Any solution people?1
When you catch an ArrayOutOfBounds exception and the catch statement throws an ArrayOutOfBounds exception...
Best way to not get distracted by the one(s) sitting in nearby cubicle(s) and talking loudly on a multi-hour teleconference: HANS ZIMMER
P.S: Over-the-ear headphones & any of Hans soundtrack will work, esply Inception & Dark Knight !!
I think I just woke up from a nightmare and inception.
I was dreaming about not being able to sleep because I was hearing loud noises all night.
Anyone else every had that?2
I've coding a long time on sublime as my editor of choice. But ever since someone pulled an inception on me, at the back of my mind is always this question "How good is vi/vim?"
Can anyone attest to its awesomeness or shittiness? I am impartial here. Just want to hear your views.6
Inherited a massive code base today... All JS is still being accessed via global scope... what are modules & modular design even... SOLID and DRY are things that clearly never crossed the devs mind during inception of this beast... and to top it all off all there is a weird BEM / SCSS style going on that somehow manages to confuse the IDE... thus all style helper utilities in the IDE are useless...2
Spent 4 FUCKING HOURS to solve a connection issue on my Ubuntu Server only to get a call after said time from the server provider that they installed an firewall and blocked my fucking port. WHY ????2
Inception for turbo c lovers
virtualize windows in macbook
install DOSbox in windows
run turbo-C in DOSBOX1
Subtle giving hints the whole day so a better desing is implemented instead of the one chosen without previous discussion.
Inception BIATCH 😂😂1
A friend of mine offered me a Job as a Senior Software engineer in Damascus "on the peace site" Whhhhaaatt the fuck.
Yeah no Thanks... Maybe next time.
I thought the web standards finally are a bit okay to work with. Just learnt that writing responsive HTML email templates really really feels like writing code which we did in the previous century. Tables. Tables everywhere. It's worse than table inception5
I created a backend thing (mvc) yea all that stuff, Controllers, services, models, views and all that. No i turned out that i also need to do the frontend aswell. Last time i did that was >10 years ago, there was no jquery, angularJS and stuff...
Well ok ill give it a try with angularjs and Wow now i can again create models, Controllers, services, views. Wtf lol
Its like an inception, i wonder when there will be a framework for creating cooler views in angularJS
Has anyone ever figured out why the fuck Android reboots seemingly out of nowhere at random times?
Is it kernel panics? Is it some shitty bug that has been plaguing this cursed OS since its inception? [sidenote: boy that was a mouthful of 's'es]
Or are we already at the mercy of the Big Brother, and someone at the controls likes to play random pranks on us when they're bored?
Thinking of switching to LineageOS more and more, but I'm kinda worried about resetting my phone since I've never done full backups/restores and I have no experience in the matter...7
I've implemented Chat function for my app. Since I'm a security noob what is the preferred way of encrypting the messages End-to-end maybe?
I'm definitely not leaving them as plain text :)4
I stumbled apon this software called vavoo.to, whith this you can watch Movies, Series, Live TV and more just started to reverse the apk.
Now out of curiosity how the fuck are they doing this with Live TV without hosting it themselves.
They also sell legally their own Android TV boxes with the pirated content from Switzerland. Why can they do this without being fucked from behind??
I will find it out eventually but this is interesting to reverse.
To the Backend Ninjas out here.
Ive written rest APIs before but know I'm asking myself how I would implement user messaging for my app.?
Use Rest and poll the server?
Use websockets and keep the connection to the server?
Or is there something that I don't know?
Man I'm getting old Everyday there are thousands of new things....6