I don't like when HR calls us 'tekkies'..

Worst disturbance while working?

Some of my faves:
- Mgr flying his new $400 drone around the office (hitting walls, ceiling, etc). I mentioned the price because he crashed it a week later (un-repairable kind of crash), so I didn't feel too sorry for his loss.
- Mgr trying out his new blowgun and blowing darts at a cardboard box down/bewtween the cube hallway (where anyone could walk out of at any time). We would hear the "pfffft" and a loud 'Yea!'.
- Mgr would walk by a cube entry-way, fart, and walk away laughing.
- Mgr called me into area and his desk+the floor area around his desk was covered in peanut shells.
Me: "Wow, you got a mess here."
Mgr: "Yea, got tired of trying to hit the trash can. Maintenance will vacuum the office this weekend."
The mess was one thing, but what disturbed me the most was this asshole thinks Maintenance-Jim has nothing better to do than clean up after this so-called adult.

Karma kicked in and an hour later the owner's wife (we're still a family owned company, so he+his wife are on friendly basis with everyone) stopped by to say hi and walked in on the mess.
June: "What do we have here!?"
Mgr: "Oh...um...uh..I was eating a few peanuts and putting the shells in the trash can and accidentally knocked it over. I was on my way to get the vacuum cleaner."
June: "Hmmm...this looks like more than a few. *You* clean it up right now and *never* let me see this again!"
Mgr: "Yes..yes ma'am...right now.."

Whole office heard the exchange and it was frickin' awesome.

In 2013: *opens cmd* "look at me I'm a hacker, I can hack your Facebook"

Now in 2019 : *copying some python examples* "I'm a hacker now, I made a bot for hacking your discord server"

Today after 1 year of taking shit I sat down with my manager and completely tore the whole fucking company apart.

I absolutely slammed my colleagues, obliterated my team lead, went on and on about how no one understands the basics and how everything we have is copy paste procedural code and the only way to fix what we have is to delete it. I then insinuated I want to quit because I cba with the struggle anymore.

Result? Fat promotion. Not sure what just happened here lmao.

Stolen from reddit, but definitely deserved a share.

Nothing like trying to fix a product breaking bug in someone else's code that just ran off on vacation for a week. 😒

When you read oath as oauth, it's time to take some break 😨

Finally, an explanation

Everytime

Just merged the stuff that the other intern and I have been working on for the past couple weeks together. He didn't comment a single function; not the couple thousand lines of c# functions on the server side, nor the hundreds of lines of JavaScript on the client side. It's a mess of formatting... Ugh.

Even this Google Survey knows the pecking order for voice assistants 🤣 Cortona gets a dedicated line while Bixby gets the "Other" line.

This goddamn obtuse motherfucker at this discord of this framework I'm trying to learn, who happens to be a mod.

I'm trying to explain my scenario to this guy (a very reasonable one in my opinion) but this motherfucker is giving me some sass saying I'm confused at very basic things or saying shit like "it's literally that simple", well ain't that a bitch.

He's doing half assed reading, and apparently he's alt tabbing to a videogame (as displayed by discord), so I guess he's not paying attention and reducing me to an idiot.

What am I supposed to do? Call him out and get banned?

No, I have to fucking shut up and stomach this idiot because I need to learn.

If you don't have much patience, you just can't be a mod and also respond to people. Just pick one.

Because people can't fucking call you out when you're being a douche.

Fuck this guy.

Finally got in the hammock with the laptop 😂😂

"Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people." - William Butler Yeats

GitHub blocked Iranians accounts
https://link.medium.com/ntWQbhmPDY

Come on guys! It's not that bad.

What?... really?... You read my code? ...*wipes away tears*

THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!! You sir/madam/undefined are a true gentleman and scholar! (even if you are just a troll picking random shit apart to flash around your superior knowledge of design patterns).

Any time I receive a code review, that is bearing that is an actual review, born of free will and not a mandatory report - I feel flattered beyond words.

> Think its shit? - GREAT FINALLY FEEDBACK!
> Have an idea? - I'm all ears.
> Trying to sound smart? - You still read/used my shit.
> Want to understand my approach? - Grab a drink and get comfy son.

In a world where I am usually the only person in the world that knows WHAT MY ACTUAL WORK IS and there being only a select few people on the planet able to understand it, I am always grateful for developer feedback.

Seriously... out of your own volition you used my code, read it, made an effort to understand my thinking and THEN REACHED OUT TO ME with ideas!!??

I could kiss you... you beautiful binary saint.

TL;DR - Girlfriend wanted to learn coding, I might have scared her off.

Today, my girlfriend said she wants to learn coding.
Me: why?
She: well, all these data science lectures are recommending Python and R.
Me: Ok. But, are you interested in coding?
She: No, but I think I have to learn.
Me: Hmm.. coding requires a clear thought process, and we should tell the computer exactly what needs to be done.
She: I think I can do that.
Me: Okay... then tell the computer to think and give a random number between 1 to 10.
She: I will use that randint function. (She has basic knowledge in C)
Me: Nope. You write your own logic to make the computer think.
She: What do you mean?
Me: If I were you... Since it is just a single digit number.. I would capture the current time and would send the last digit of milliseconds @current time.
She: Oh yeah, that's cool. Understood! I will try...
" " "
We both work in same office.. so, we meet up for lunch

" " "

I didn't ask about it, but she started,
She: Hmm, I thought about it, but I was not able to think of any solution. May be its not my cup of tea.

I felt bad for scaring her off... :(

Anyway, what are some other simple methods to generate random numbers like OTPs. I am interested in simple logics, which you have thought of..not the Genius algorithms we have in predefined libraries.

Focus...

I am on vacations and I thought: well, let me take a look at Shopify. People uses that, may be learning it could be good.

So I created a Dev account, a sample store and opened the docs.

"Oh, you should use this and that JS library and work with React (link to react)"

So I clicked the link and now I am learning React...

Is it just me or JavaScript on the browser really has become over complicated then it should be? It’s way overkill for the job that it’s supposed to do. Every time I hear about these new frameworks and I see the guys just loving it I cringe so hard, I want to say something then I stop because they are loving it sooo much. It’s a disaster I hate looking at the front end it’s a huge pile of fancy shit.

I wonder if am the only one who feels like using another language/framework would magically fix my inability to think outside the box.

We've all seen how dbrand do and it's fucking glorious but... Oof dbrand with the fucking burns...

"OmG stAck oVerFloW haS a HomePage"

Would y'all shut the fuck up already?

Fuck.

Customer: “How many concurrent users can use this app?”
Me: “web tech is stateless. (Insert explanation) So concurrency is meaningless.”
Customer: “yeah but how many concurrent users?”
Me: “infinite as long as they aren’t interacting with the server.”
Customer: “but how many?”
Me: “400”

I've been working for 12days straight to develop 6 different pages in an admin panel. The CTO decided to launch only 2 of them! Yesterday, I was late so he asked me to be more regular and produce results with a mixer of insults and profanity.

Dear CTOs, I know sometimes you guys just want to burst out but stop for a minute then try not to be an asshole. It has the complete opposite effect on an employee.

You being an dick will achieve only one thing, you being a dick.

BOSS: i will need your resume for this new project, can you make it?
ME: sure, but don't you have one?
BOSS: yes, but i would need it changed for a new details
ME: ok...

after work...

BOSS: we have a problem, remember that resume? we need it on english, and need it right now, can you translate it at home?
ME: ok, but give me a few minutes...

sends translated resume...
BOSS: ummm, it's not translated well, you didn't translate your education...
ME: the name of the school? you can't translate that...
BOSS: this lady asked for it, so do it...
ME: ok...

sends again...
BOSS: not quite there yet, you have Ć in your last name, translate that...
ME: translate my last name?
BOSS: yeah, this lady has a spell check and saw that incorrect...
ME: .....

im going to celebrate when i leave this itterate shithole

Fuck the imperial system. For centuries everyone used meters and kilograms to measure shit so why the FUCK did the U.S decide to use pounds and inches. Like i see most articles and videos comfortably using the metric system, EVERYTHING uses the metric system. then i stumble on an idiot who makes me go to a converter so I can understand his pound-inch-based lingo. FUCK YOU

Game of Thrones Season 8 is just my final commit after i rebase from root...

Let me tell you the story of how a feature request no one asked for got put in an early grave:

PM walks into weekly meeting with a single use case that one user called in about, despite never having this issue during the past year and a half that our app has been in production. PM's boss (genuinely one of the best people i have ever worked with) happens to sit in this particular meeting for no reason other than he felt like he should once in a while.

PM brings up use case and wants to devote 3 weeks' development time and another 3 weeks to test RIGHT NOW while other projects are already in motion. PM's boss speaks up with this: "Listen if this guy is really this upset, we can just tell him to build his own service. All the other end users have no problems with this, so it's not worth spending the resources on, i don't think."

And that is how i went from "this is bullshit" to "i love you" in the span of 20 minutes.

We have a 15-machine cluster that went down last night because one machine in the cluster went down. Apparently having a cluster for redundancy is just a nice idea and doesnt actually work in practice.

Also I shouldnt have to go to a vendor's forums to find out the bug that is causing my cluster to go down is fixed in a future version. It should be in the goddamn patch notes!!!