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*happily tapping along on my projects while commuting*
Some random kid appears, overly interested in what I'm writing, so I let him look.
Then he goes *snort* do you know why Java threw c out?
No.
*giggles* because c told Java to stop treating women like and objects.
Well, treating them like primitives is no good either.
*kid walks away*
Then I hear: mom. That man ruined my joke, he said treating women like primitives is no good.6 -
Tired is the day when waiting for a file to load, only to realize it has loaded long ago and the file is the spinner.
4 -
How do mobile sites know when I'm about to tap a link, and then load something and shift everything so that I tap the wrong link?9
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I was looking for some good loading gifs, and waited more than a minute for these images to load...
10 -
I wonder how long before people get twitchy thinking I’m hacking just running some database load tests
19 -
Internet: YOU are nothing without me.
My phone: Th..That's not true! She cc..can make calls ww..ithout you...and ss...send texts. Sh..Sh..She plays offf..offline games sometimes and has ddd..downloaded music to her storage that she could llii.. listen to and has a sshh..shit load of memes stocked that she sss..sometimes laughs at. I AM usef...ffuul :-/
Internet *lighting up a cigarette*: hahhaa! You can survive without me. If this were 10 YEARS ago! There's not a slightest chance, today.
My phone *starts sobbing*: sh..shut up sshhhuut uu..up.
Internet *blowing smoke rings*: you think you're the ONLY device she owns?? She has too many of them, but guess who is connected to all those devices! ME! She can't function without me. Hell, the world can't function without ME!
Electricity *rubbing it's eyes from sleep* - what's all that noise??
Phone: 😶
Internet: 😶
Phone: 🙂
(I'm about to fall asleep and there's no power right now. Back up ain't working. Life sucks)5 -
I'm trying to sign up for insurance benefits at work.
Step 1: Trying to find the website link -- it's non-existent. I don't know where I found it, but I saved it in keepassxc so I wouldn't have to search again. Time wasted: 30 minutes.
Step 2: Trying to log in. Ostensibly, this uses my work account. It does not. Time wasted: 10 minutes.
Step 3: Creating an account. Username and Password requirements are stupid, and the page doesn't show all of them. The username must be /[A-Za-z0-9]{8,60}/. The maximum password length is VARCHAR(20), and must include upper/lower case, number, special symbol, etc. and cannot include "password", repeated charcters, your username, etc. There is also a (required!) hint with /[A-Za-z0-9 ]{8,60}/ validation. Want to type a sentence? better not use any punctuation!
I find it hilarious that both my username and password hint can be three times longer than my actual password -- and can contain the password. Such brilliant security.
My typical username is less than 8 characters. All of my typical password formats are >25 characters. Trying to figure out memorable credentials and figuring out the hidden complexity/validation requirements for all of these and the hint... Time wasted: 30 minutes.
Step 4: Post-login. The website, post-login, does not work in firefox. I assumed it was one of my many ad/tracker/header/etc. blockers, and systematically disabled every one of them. After enabling ad and tracker networks, more and more of the site loaded, but it always failed. After disabling bloody everything, the site still refused to work. Why? It was fetching deeply-nested markup, plus styling and javascript, encoded in xml, via api. And that xml wasn't valid xml (missing root element). The failure wasn't due to blocking a vitally-important ad or tracker (as apparently they're all vital and the site chain-loads them off one another before loading content), it's due to shoddy development and lack of testing. Matches the rest of the site perfectly. Anyway, I eventually managed to get the site to load in Safari, of all browsers, on a different computer. Time wasted: 40 minutes.
Step 5: Contact info. After getting the site to work, I clicked the [Enroll] button. "Please allow about 10 minutes to enroll," it says. I'm up to an hour and 50 minutes by now. The first thing it asks for is contact info, such as email, phone, address, etc. It gives me a warning next to phone, saying I'm not set up for notifications yet. I think that's great. I select "change" next to the email, and try to give it my work email. There are two "preferred" radio buttons, one next to "Work email," one next to "Personal email" -- but there is only one textbox. Fine, I select the "Work" preferred button, sign up for a faux-personal tutanota email for work, and type it in. The site complains that I selected "Work" but only entered a personal email. Seriously serious. Out of curiosity, I select the "change" next to the phone number, and see that it gives me four options (home, work, cell, personal?), but only one set of inputs -- next to personal. Yep. That's amazing. Time spent: 10 minutes.
Step 6: Ranting. I started going through the benefits, realized it would take an hour+ to add dependents, research the various options, pick which benefits I want, etc. I'm already up to two hours by now, so instead I decided to stop and rant about how ridiculous this entire thing is. While typing this up, the site (unsurprisingly) automatically logged me out. Fine, I'll just log in again... and get an error saying my credentials are invalid. Okay... I very carefully type them in again. error: invalid credentials. sajfkasdjf.
Step 7 is going to be: Try to figure out how to log in again. Ugh.
"Please allow about 10 minutes" it said. Where's that facepalm emoji?
But like, seriously. How does someone even build a website THIS bad?13 -
When you see a semi bald man with a messy beard, bit too much belly, a dead look in the eyes that carries a pc bag.
And your first thought is "oh, a sys admin" x)7 -
Programmer's son asks his father:
Dad, why do the sun rises on the east and sets on the west ?
Father: It works ! Do not dare to touch it.4 -
Noticed friends smartphone was unlocked & Felt like pulling a prank, so I installed edge and set it as default.8
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Rants about how big jQuery is (83 KB), misses project deadline trying to write efficient JS to "optimize" load time, eventually ends up saving 2 KBs.
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Never did I realize how much I take it for granted.. Until it suddenly stopped working.
R.I.P space bar.4 -
Who the FUCK makes a home page make 1348 requests and download 41 fucking MB of data??? What the actual fuck???
26 -
Late night coding and my last git message is "changed a shit load of stuff...don't worry I got this"
Good thing this a personal project haha1 -
Customer: “How many concurrent users can use this app?”
Me: “web tech is stateless. (Insert explanation) So concurrency is meaningless.”
Customer: “yeah but how many concurrent users?”
Me: “infinite as long as they aren’t interacting with the server.”
Customer: “but how many?”
Me: “400”9 -
when you wake up saturday noon just to see your phone having 10 missed calls from the same unrecognized number, dial back and find it to be a mad client,
complaining about some graphic issues on a site you have nothing to do with.
checking the site; there is nothing wrong so you tell him to clear his browser cache.
he gets mad shouting a silly programmer shall not tell him what to do with his computer and its the site, not his browser.
i ask him if there is the same issue with another browser or computer..
he giggles a little then turn silent..
2mins or so later, he says: i'm gonna let your boss know about this then hangs up..2 -
Did you know..
There is an Easter egg in the Unix man command, if you call it at exactly 30 mins over midnight.
Then it prints "gimme gimme gimme"; (all night long)..8 -
"Hi, our client is looking for a dot net developer, and we think you'll be a good fit."
- you got the wrong person i believe.
"you list laravel & phalcon.. Those are .net?"
I'm not sure what to say here, a recruiter whom doesn't see my employed tag & doesn't know how to Google..
Laravel & phalcon is .net.. Aaallrighty then.6 -
Why are modern apps so god damn huge? A fucking messaging app doesn't require 500000000000000 MB!!! I wonder what shit load of fuck they're packing in those apps.13
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Dad?.. what is a super hero?
- it's an hero amongst heroes. oftentimes ordinary heroes inherit traits from super.
It's basic inheritance, son. -
What manner of imbecile writes a password reset function that passes the email and password as god damn query parameters, in the email link....1
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Ok is it just me or do GIF never fucking load on Android here on devRant? Like wtf I have a high speed LTE connection at 22Mbs how can it not load a fucking GIF?14
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I was about 17 years old had tried wood & metal craftsmanship but never liked it, so I spoke with a counsellor and mentioned I like computers as I play a lot of games.
That counsellor laughed at me ( a shut in that rarely says anything ) and told me I'm too stupid..
Since then, I have scored almost pure top grades without any particular job goal.
But eventually met a good friend who wanted to be a Web developer, so I simply followed the same path and kept on reaping top grades lol.. :)
As Ana says in overwatch, "Never stop fighting for what you believe in."2 -
Senior dev says "oh, we're not looking for load time optimization" and at the same time, the website loads for at least 1 minute on localhost... 😫5
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Discussing a somewhat small and narrow website project with a customer. Then the customer asks me how I'm going to load balance it.
My initial thought was:
You mean how to loadbalance maximum 10 users??2 -
"When people visit our site, can we make it put an icon on their desktop so they can load it up quickly in future?"8
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I wrote a todo list program, which also is my first self written api. Currently load testing. Server is ok.
6 -
Once Upon a Time.........
Three database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out Because they could not find a table.1 -
!rant
Reduced a page load time from 23.8 seconds to 0.5 seconds by disabling tracking of entities on the page. Felt awesome.4 -
At an expensive Apache Spark training class. For hands on portion you use their system. When everyone logged on, their system couldn't handle the load. First they blamed the hotel wifi (even though every other site was running perfectly) and then they blamed AWS. It's clearly an issue with their system. It's ridiculous to not be honest with a room full of developers who know what's up.4
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@lunch conversation today..
Q: "if you were to write this world in a virtual environment, what would be the first thing you would define? "
A:" define Vegas as a closure with no return declared.
Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. " -
<<< prank victim today.
Swapped font so it would not display special characters and changed characters in my unit tests here and there...
Took me 40mins with headphones on, before the thought that I'm not at fault occurred...
Once you forget to lock your machine when going lunch..2 -
One sentence to fail almost any coder or related job interview:
"my code is so good, sometimes even I can't comprehend it." -
Anybody have the bad habits of biting nails down and sometimes tearing the skin off finger-tips just because licking the blood is somehow calming?
If so, how do you combat it?32 -
Hmm. when you prove to be more knowledgable than the programmer that was pulled in, to interview you and he starts to go totally defensive and return spiteful responses
( like, what does a rookie like you know? i bet you never had an actual job )
when you calmly asks if any standard like PSR-2 is expected, if there are any preferred frameworks and what version control is used...
well, that went well..
Didn't get that internship..6 -
Don't we all just love that guy, that loudly talks about Linux and is almost zealous about it but when questioned about simply stuff, like basic *nix commands and shell scripting, looks like he just arrived from space... :D4
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Seriously.. Getting job apps rejected because I'm over qualified for the job.
Well, if I wasn't interested In the job and staying if hired, then I wouldn't have had written a tailored application..11 -
I guess someone couldn't be arsed to dedent a whole load of code. I can't really criticise though: I do it too.
4 -
If an ai becomes depressed, does it encapsulate itself for better \Closure?
*insert thinking dinosaur* -
So I have 1mb/s internet that cuts out every ~5 min - i had to wait for internet connection to load the speed test.
I am just outside London - internet speed should not be bad, i am not exactly in the middle of nowhere
10 -
You want oracle database ? Load OCI.dll
You want microsoft SQl ? Load sqlsrv.dll et dotnet.dll
You want mysql ? Its already install
xD why the project have 3 different database :O with less then 2 table each !!! Ffuuuuukkkkkk7 -
When you run your test suite with 320 assertions in 64 tests and it all passes..
Something is very wrong somewhere x)6 -
My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went and had some drinks.Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.4 -
Hmm, I find it highly peculiar that I let a friend borrow my pc to watch stranger things on Netflix, with her account.
I signed her into the guest account, she picked Google Chrome (not signed in).
Now my Facebook feed and YouTube adds are all about stranger things..
I get the ip gets logged & mapped.. But srsly.5 -
Fucking apple & Mac OS..
So.. Before high sierra, you could create a USB using boot camp.
All good & dandy without too much fuss.
No longer. instead it automatically mounts & copies the os onto a apfs partition(?) and without as much as a mention or warning it just reboots immediately when it's done.
Srsly, not even a silly "hey, we need to reboot"..
Now, I could probably have gone to diskutil, formatted, set the boot flags and copied the files..
But rly, Nvm that.
Besides I might actually find some use in a windows install.
So needing to install windows to create an USB is acceptable.
But Bloody hell, it's been a while since I've been in this triggered from something..
T_T no warnings, just force reboot into windows. -
when you're at a job interview, the interviewer shows you some code to give you a taste and the first thing that comes to mind is, "how long is it gonna take to refactor and is it worth it..."
then proceeds on to show a database diagram and its an unholy cluttered spaghetti soup that even a purple octopus would feel a cold shiver from..
then the interviewer mentions the previous dev left suddenly and the deadline is very soon(TM?)..2 -
Opening Google Chrome
In the omnibox(address bar) typing www.google.com
Waits for the page to load.
Enters the search query.2 -
load average: 348.58, 293.64, 179.93
Um, wat?
1) What are you doing little server?!
2) How could you possibly find the time to tell me that?!3 -
Shit programmers annoy me... But It looks like I can make money from that....
P.s a website should never take 15 seconds to load .... Crazy5 -
we had a very persistent FOUC
So what I quickly did was on page load, hide the DOM
sleep for around 1.5s and show DOM
people never noticed, the page load was always delayed by 1.5s :D3 -
Just cut 2 seconds off the load time after roughly 2 months of refactoring. The code looks beautiful though.1
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Google search results always return 2.7 version of documentation. Load it, hit the drop down, select 3.6...
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Working out regularly.
It's a nice break and it wakens my mind and body.
And it eliminate tension headaches2 -
Client is A BIG corporation
Client want an large app and has its own ui guidelines
Client sends design
Client doesn't follow its own guidelines......1 -
Teenagers are like UDP packets...
you never really know when you might get one, but when you do, they most certainly dont care. -
>Gets assigned to this private Game server's project
>Boss wants me to improve the anti advertisement chat
> k
> Looks at old code
> Code is replacing unicode characters to latin ones that look similar which are being used for advertising
> lol'd who tf developed this
> regex101, building a regex query with endless of possibilities (would look something like this) /((L|\|_|I_)(O|0|\[\]|\(\))(L|\|_|_))/gi to detect lol
> Adds alot of similar looking unicode characters to assure that it will find something
> Works really well in the dev version
> Server open hour
> 30 players
> All chat at the same time
> CPU 100%
> BOSS NEVER TOLD ME TO MAKE IT EFFICIENT3 -
when you have one of those days where your mind constantly blanks out and your ability to focus is null...
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What's the deal with some devs, that genuinely know their stuff and can answer almost everything off the top of their head, yet they seem unable to apply their knowledge when it comes to actually using it.
Kinda like being ace at theory but shite in practice.1 -
When a gamer is also a developer:
Idiot: What kind of game is that? I only has a crap load of words!
Me: Yeah, it's called Android Studio2 -
Craft CMS deployment on shared server, PHP5, Apache takes 10 - 30 seconds to load.
Craft CMS deployment on virtual shared server, PHP7, Nginx takes 1 - 2 seconds to load.
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My definition of hell?
Being forced to debug nested callbacks abusing global variables & closures generated from from reflection...6 -
i don't know about you...but each time Devrant takes longer to load i see a weenie with 2 small balls
4 -
After many days of fighting with gem and bundle surrounding logstash plugins, I can officially say I hate Ruby.2
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Wanna know how to piss off an entire dev team?
Agree that progressive isn't good enough, must be native.
And supporting ie7 & 8 won't take much extra time or effort...2 -
first off, i think this may be out of scope but either way.
i think along the rants, a tag seperated section for programmer tips could be pretty neat :)
i'll start off, my tip of today would be: if it seems too complex, it probably is.
consider refactoring by splitting into multiple smaller parts or even its own seperate API. :) -
!dev
When you're waiting impatiently for your computer to load something so you basically become the computer's personal cheerleader. -
Just set up my Raspi with pihole, damn it’s so easy and super efficient. Sites now load so much faster 🦍1
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FMDL when your equal co developer thinks she's your boss and tried to dictate your work load and flow.
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Don't know what the exact deal with Microsoft's Edgy Explorer but ffs, everytime I open it to check how something is rendered it prompts to be default then gets salty when declined and pops the control panel, suggesting it as default...13
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Saw @Linuxxx sad cuz his name was not among @BroCow porn tags.
So I figured I'd rant to include his name with triple xxx in rant.
Oh on a side node..
How's things going, @Ashkin?
Bad Trifecta still got ye down? :/..24 -
when youre working on a API and every testCase is all green plus manual testing thru Postman extension is all good..
then makes a web app use that API, authorization works as intended but the token is immedially invalid...
just..how..2 -
what are the odds of walking with a cup of coffe and a drop falls off right into your pocket of your cowboy jeans and wets a bunch of the money you have in your wallet..1
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Forgot headphones, noticed coworkers conversation...
If null coalescing operator (??) returns right on null, why doesn't !! Do the opposite?
- boolean beat ya to it.1 -
I feel like a lot of devs, last years self included.
Need to realize, a great Dev is not necessarily one that Ace in code.
But rather one that can convey and understand the problems they're to solve and more importantly the perspective of the end user.3 -
Unity is the best UI ever! It rocks the UX world.
Windows 10 with unity interface would be purrfect.4 -
When you spend hours debugging why something doesn't compile and it turns out, it was because the extension was with a capital first letter...
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The moment when you have crafted a beautiful, flexible and well structured package.
Everything including the automated tests are flawless..
but you cant help but feel like something, somewhere is horrible wrong... :D -
I know nothing about this.
Let's say your computer is on all night, and then you hit it in the morning, just re-activating all your windows... for me, it's always like a 10 minute wait until it "catches up".
I realized this morning, like, why doesn't it optimize itself while I'm away, so that when i do come back, that 10 min wait doesn't happen.
I'm sure they have thought of this, so why does it take so fucking long to wake up your computer.4 -
When a PM or other self proclaimed demi god decides to tap the shoulder of the programmers with headphones on just to look just above their head and say "oh, i see. a programmers thoughts do throw a nullPointerException when disrupted"1
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Same as when I go gym..
Deep breaths to get calm,
focus mind on clarity & stillness
then visualize, map & draw out exactly what I'm going to do and how I'm gonna go about it.
Finally, execute.2 -
So far? Not realizing my load balancer was not set up for sticky sessions... and since this load balancer only existed in prod not in qa or CAT o found out the night we went to install it into prod...1
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How have I not used KVM before 5 minutes ago? Am I mentally challenged?? This makes my work load wayy easier
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Tl;dr was told I couldn't and found I like programming. :)
Went to some school for testing out different industries but didn't have any goal nor found anything I was really interested in..
So i was tested for qualifications and told I was too stupid to be in IT..
So I decided to prove them wrong, went for an it supporter ground course and aced it with top grades + extra courses..
But still had no goals or dreams.
On that education, I met a friend who wanted to be a web programmer, so I decided to walk that path and aced another education with top grades..
Then I found, that I actually sorta enjoy programming and doesn't get bored quickly so then, I decided to plant my flag and become a programmer :)1 -
Hmm Monday morning and no Internet..
How do I stack overflow my "programming"?
Just kidding, Mobile Hotspot ftw.2 -
... I really truly hate with a passion..
when you've agreed on one solution and when it's done, but not approved and deployed..
suddenly decides "oh it needs, x-y-z that I said it won't need"..
Mind you, that x-y-z things mean rewriting a lot of it...
Oh well, at least I get paid for the extra hours to be spent.1 -
Seeing quite a few people post ("bump") just to subscribe to a rant.
would be a neat feature to have a subscribe to rant checkbox :)6 -
!Rant
Anyone know good ways to monitor server load (Risk, RAM, CPU, Network) with a GUI?
I'm using Ubuntu 16.044 -
went a little overboard and figured i'd be diferrent and whip up a class.
because, { reasons } and impulses.. :p
https://gist.github.com/sasin91/... -
Friend: "what is it, you love so much about being a developer?"
Me: "The feeling & satisfaction of writing something better & prettier than my past self."
Friend: "Oh. You sound like a Manga writer, I understand about as much about their mind as yours.."
Me: "Yeaah.. Can't argue there.. Can I? *chuckles*" -
how i declare Coding session of the day to be over : when i see an error about an error that is not an error... :D
(hint: fatal: validation failed but when asked if it passed, returns true... ) -
When systems throttles your bandwidth during load tests and doesn't tell you, and you waste an afternoon investigating1
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Pull Request Message -
Day 1: "Updates to the UI and the load performance of the page."
Day 127: "shdheiahwjak"6 -
Taking college summer courses for the first time ever. I hope I can handle the load; at least they don't overlap.2
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heh, so a java dev asked a php dev, whats your grestest weakness, and the php dev replied: over engineering things, but who am i to say that...
the java dev got a weird expression on .. :D -
... when you as an internee with limited access, gets your early off friday ruined by a flooding attack and one of the clients on that server somehow has your number..
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*sigh*.
back from lunch break, to find my dualboot with Windows 10 & openSUSE uefi having automatically rebooted due to some updates,
and see a busy box message, because secure boot somehow was suddenly enabled (guess the w update)..
good thing i always bring a usb pen with multiple system tools and live distros...1 -
What really grind my gears?
People telling you to get ”a real job", because they can make a website with WordPress without needing any education or scam-diploma(read: proof of education)... -
What's That dread & shameful feeling when you get praised for some shit you know is awful called..?1
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When the company transition you from a Junior to a Developer and they start dumping all these projects on you
-______________________-3 -
You know those Jolly go lucky fucking always happy and usually slightly retarded ppl?
Yeah those, try having one of them thinking you're a free tech hotline..
My head hurts from all that brightness and stupidity that person emits -_- -
Proactively seeking out new knowledge: mostly podcasts and watching what's new on github.
keeping an open mind: just because some pattern is industry proven doesn't mean its necessarily the better,
Testing: write a test describing a problem then trying to write slightly different solutions (eg. One that leverages service location, another that emphasize dependency injection..),
Forced & timed breaks: keep hydrated, don't get stuck "spinning the wheel".. :) -
One of my hardest hurdles, is to write something that's just good enough.
And not waste hours making it an inch closer to perfect..
Writing half baked but functional solutions haunts me... -
More of a statement but interpret it as a question and answered why it is.
"performance on Linux sucks, my (exe) repack ran much better on Windows also my remote desktop can't connect" -
What's some valuable things you've learned this year?
I'll start.
Always ask myself, if I can elaborate on any given statement, otherwise just keep shut.
Always ask yourself before writing any code, if it's gonna be easy to modify later on, if not, take a step back and evaluate the bigger picture.
Don't bother with writing things clean in the first go.
It'll be much easier to refactor later on and take less total time.3 -
fellow dev thought he was being clever, hiding his private ssh keys inside image files on a public web server...2
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Pretty busy day at work today.. in the midst of everything, a co worker asked me to sync their branch on GitHub since they don't know how to.
Told them to commit any changes do that there wouldn't be any conflicts.
Their response: "you should already have my latest from 2 days ago"
.....
Two questions that I should have asked:
1) what have you been doing for two days?
2) why am I doing everything else?
:\ -
Sometimes I feel like giving my client a Craigslist-frontend website. Saves me shit load of time to pretty up.
-
Although my profile is of full stack dev but at my company we barely do anything to scale anything.
Whenever I go for any interview, everyone asks me about scaling the application. What should I do?2 -
Built a little web app today, have a look if you care.
Soz about the load time
http://twitter-cleanup.code101.co.uk/...4 -
Making an efficient design foe large scale is way harder than what meets the eye.
Especially when legacy support is involved. -
when you just had to drink that Kate coffee to get that last bit done and commited but as a result is completely unable to sleep.. ends up in a train of thoughs with a hint of philosophy... weep woop before you know it, your night sent Warp speed to bright outside..
finally i feel tired.. fml.1 -
Spending 40% time I'm playing a game waiting for the game to load :/
Should have gotten a laptop with a graphics card... :(6 -
Trying to explain a game developer in a community, why its a bad idea to only make client side patches for equiptment to appear correctly..
me: because the server needs to be aware of the changes made to avoid faulty calculations, for instance if the client calculates a fatal but the server disagree..
dev: but it works...
me: yes, but not optimally.
dev: Working as intended (TM)
me: ... teh fuq?
not sure if he's a bad troll or wut..1 -
One thing that slightly triggers me..
When people start a sentence with question and/or exclamation mark..
"!? Are you fucking kidding me??"
Having a tendency to interpret it as a statement rarely works out well...4 -
When your family v. 1.0 is very busy trying to enforce their outdated perspective regarding finding a compatible female of the human race for the purpose of tightly coupling by mutual contract and with hindsight of multiplication of inherited DNA sequence and genomes...
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load balanced three micro nodejs instances with Apache in my local system. load performance improved by 50% straight.6
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Is the devRant logo breathing faster on load screens or is it just me? Now it appears that it is having a heart attack, @dfox please help him1
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Start with the simple things first then progress gradually.
Though I highly suggest learning unit testing as soon as possible. -
when i was still studying "web integrator", didnt know shit about programming and just went there to be with a friend.
I quickly got bored, sick and tired of it all being procedural style so i decided there must be something better...
i spend loads of time but eventually developed my own almost fully fledged oop framework, minus polymorphic relationship support, events( i was on the way to that but called it messageBus ),
implicit route bindings
and the routing was based on reflection of controller methods following rest naming.
also i hadnt discovered composer, yet.
by the time i discovered composers, i also discovered laravel, which is my now prefered framework.. :) -
when your server CPU has a load of 9.01% on a 6 core proc.... and no one knows whats being run on it.
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Best thing about Atom:
Restarting after each plugin update and writing for hundreds of plugins to load every time.2 -
Am I the only one that doesn't have images loaded in my feed? Also, when I scroll until a rant with an image has to be loaded it freezes for a second
9 -
Today's BSD fortune scared the shit out of me.
"panic: kernal segmentation violation. Core dumped
(only kidding)" -
https://eelo.io looks very interesting, especially for the privacy aware.. :)
On a nostalgia note; Behind the company, it's said to be the creator of Mandrake.9 -
Wk88 i basically see "I'm a beta that belittles myself, because everybody else seems to be so much better than me.."
While I certainly know how it feels, that mantra & mindset will lead to void or null.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and life's a bitch that'll keep ya down if you let it.
It's gonna be rough, but ye gotta stop calling yourself inadequate and start working on honing your skills.
No great feat happens over night, it takes practice and dedication.1 -
Am I the only one that keeps mistyping & mispronouncing Magneto when I mean Magento?
Can't count how many times I've scratched my head because I got search results pointing at Sabayon Linux's wiki when enquiring about it...1 -
How the heck does nvram magically forget your boot entries while your system is up...
Worst reboot of windows I've experienced in a long time, ugh.
The boot/*.efi files are still present but no entries in the menu... -
Lesson learned today :
Don't get lazy and muscle monkey hanging out your laundry..
Like your code, you'll eventually regret monkeying it.1 -
When I was studying web integrator.
At first I didn't even know html, yet alone what a php tag or extension meant.
I quickly caught onto it though and started to grasp that the procedural stuff they taught was really outdated.
So I researched intensely and eventually whipped up my very own php framework.
- if you're interested, it lives on github.com:sasin91/php-framework
Obviously it's a pile of fungal infested dung.
but ey, I was light years ahead of the rest of the class.
Besides, we all gotta stackoverflow somewhere :) -
Cognitive overload: the silent slayer of developers.
Especially when you're bad at assessing your own capabilities and choose to sacrifice sleep without concern for taking actual time to enjoy the silence and tranquility of.. nothing.
Sometimes it's pretty hard to not go mad when those old gods whisper your demise. -
So.. playing around with jquerys load() function because I'm trying to implement some updating functionality to a specific div. After researching a bit, it didn't seem like it would be too difficult.. but I could not for the life of me figure out why my template was not displaying! I tried testing with just some basic html and it worked fine. Even took a few snippets from my template and again.. it worked. As soon as I copy/pasted my whole template, the page renders nothing. I was seriously getting frustrated so I started entering the template manually testing each line. It worked until I got to this special div container I made.. went and looked at the css properties for it and..
display: none;
*facepalm*
I forgot I had set it to none because I was using jquerys fadeIn() function xD seriously?? -
My worst habit(?) is probably loving to "waste" time, making api uri builders.
so I can chain a couple of methods instead of just typing out an uri :p -
Wow. Fucking wow. My CPU is an i7 6700K on 4.5GHz. What's this process doing that any single fucking core is on 100% load?!?! After killing these two the CPU load is on ~5%. WTF
(ik it's only on 59% load on the screenshot but it's going from there to 100%)
10 -
If you discovered a vulnerability affecting multiple of the big dogs, would file a cve and report it immediately or have some *fun* first?
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when a dev with absolutely no knowledge of the systems or whatsoever, tells a client "sure, easy. we can get your password if you forget" and that client then comes to you and doesnt understand he has to use the recovery function because its encrypted using a slow oneway hash...
needless to say, that dev thought passwords were stored in cleartext.. -
How fucking sucking difficult is it too setup a static ip in AWS on a loadbalancer??? I spend the whole day figuring out how to use the nat gateway or other means and it still doesn't work. Debugging is almost impossible because they give you zero logs.
And all of this because a client wants to work with a whitelist for their shitty system on location.2 -
what is that annoying little bug in my brain that triggers those annoying Chemicals which makes sleeping at night even after being awake for 27 hours, so goddamn hard?
protocol nature's spec describe the natural and optimal daily rhytm as sleeping 8 hours each night, so why is obeying the defaults so goddamn troubling?!7 -
PhaserJS + Webpack = hours of misery and frustration. :P
Time to single-page this and refactor to Webpack later. -
Whoever came up with the PSD2 can get fucked up their ass by all the cocks in the world combined.
Whoever fucked up the new security implementations so bad can get fucked up their ass by all the spiked, rusty, aids-contaminated metal poles in existance.
And whoever allowed all this to happen and approved it should take all the nukes in the world, shove them all up their worthless holes, and detonate them all at once.
Fuck you.
Die in a fire.
Sincerely,
Someone who's failing harder and harder every day to not lose faith in what little good there is in humanity.1 -
Seeing as quite a few people here use Macs, I wonder.. How many have tried Hackintosh? Kinda curious about projects like iAtkos but don't feel like donating nor replacing my gtx 1080 for the purpose..
Not that I would want to build a "cheapskate" Mac workstation but rather for educational purposes.. :)4 -
Why do companies pile on the work in the Summer and have less in the Winter? I want to do shit in the Summer. Let's bust balls in the Winter when it's too damn cold to do anything!1
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Co developer jumps to take the lead on our new project. Already overloaded and claims about her work load
I on the other hand just finished all my projects, guess I'll just sit back and wait.4 -
Has anyone else noticed that the items in the avatar builder load extremely slowly, if at all? Or is it just me?3
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About to checkout Gatling for load test to my REST api, any other suggestions?
So far their docs look straightforward to follow, requires scala but it doesn't look that complicated for that particular case.
Dotnet core devs, do you recommend another tool?8 -
Made a mysql innodb database go do a fancy shuffle like schrödingers cat, with many tables appearing as "ghosts", in production.
still not sure what went wrong.
i noted it was extremely slow and thought restarting the service might Help it... -
"never call anything 'ng'.. One day it won't be."
- Michael W. Lucas @ BSD Now 197 at ~26:40 mark.1 -
Just found this:
jQuery(document).ready(function($){$(window).load(function(){ /* do stuff here */ }
Nothing else?2 -
Load tests:
I'm used to do load tests in Visual Studio where it gives which line is exactly your bottleneck. But now I'm using VS Code (visual studio requires enterprise license for load tests :\ no longer have one)
Anyways long story short, what are the best practices for load tests? For me what I'm testing is how much can a given hardware specs handle and when test fails I go back and check if code can be optimized, is this the correct way to do this?7 -
the code from a school colleague. So written that you must load the index page and are redirected to a second. if you try to load the second page you get errors. Many errors.
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Not to sound self centric, but a cyborg clone of myself with close to but not fully true consciousness.
Would always have something to talk about and would probably be a great pair programming partner as we'd be almost in sync and on same wavelengths ;p -
Just sit down from lunch,
Great song on spotify,
Load up visual Studio,
In a happ place,
FUCKING FUCKTY IM comes in
"Got 10 mins"
FUCKCKCKCKCKCKCKKCKC2 -
Typo3.
Especially when it comes to debugging third party (usually outsourced) plugins and implantations..
It's daz vile wild west over there, you never know where something is defined, but more often that not, some obscure TypoScript file.
Never have i been so grateful for xdebug & grep / awk combined with regular expressions.. -
Talk about giving me a headache..
Mmh k, so i want to move my current domain to cloudflare.
Go to current provider, their site report a previous provider has the record but that provider says they have nothing left.
Great.
Contact current provider and they tell me to contact cloudflare, cloudflare tells me to resolve that issue with my previous provider....
Starting to feel like just dropping it and getting a new ... -
If you write a solution to something at work, then the company most likely holds ownership with whatever license they have.
However if you rewrite that solution in your spare time, into a package that solves the same problem but different then replace (with permission to) the original implementation with the new one..
Can said company then claim ownership on your package?3 -
2 Core aws box.
LoadAvg 19.76 (over 1 min)
Other staff members:
"Thats fine, it normally does that.
Is it still running? It's fine" -
flutter run
>Unable to load asset.
flutter clean
flutter run
*10 mins later*
>Unable to load asset.
*I should prob use ci for this*
flutter clean
flutter run
>Unable to load asset.
*sunken cost fallacy intensifies* -
Sins? All of em'.
Infinite loops of recursive callback carnage, just because I like to watch it burn. -
Friday, late due trains, on schedule for presenting last month's work.
Mac OS have decided to update some unknown time and doesn't give an estimate..
Woo hoo...
Why did I ever agree to try a Mac for workstation, just because it's the default platform at work..1 -
that moment when a fellow dev asks you a web dev ( PHP ) for help and you see
... -03 -0fast & funroll fruity loops ...
im not surprised that Gentoo box died ... -
Is there a definition for the feeling of fulfillment and joy that occurs, when reading through a rewrite or something overly complicated and messy legacy into a neat and tidy set of classes?1
-
Collect project specifications & details.
- order by relevance.
List & install dependencies (possibly spin up a vm).
mkdir ~/Code/{lang}/{framework?}/{project}
Bootstrap skeleton & scaffold.
- ensure functional base.
Iterate specs list & create test case(s) one at a time, going: test => minimal to pass => refactor => next(repeat_cycle)1 -
All banks in India continue to fail to handle such huge rush of customers.
They should have had a better load balancer, and some ddos protection. -
Want a simple but terrible annoying prank?
Change the keyboard map from UTF8 to ASCII or vice versa and set the system font to something funky like a Greek or Cyrillic variant... :)1 -
When you try to do something good with flask and python but Mozilla doesn't want to load the media file.
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you presented your idea to the PM then thinks it's good then suddenly disagrees then gives you more work load... oh well1
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Q: You know it's Monday when...
A: (typing)... (buffer overflow)
Because you had a bad.. *Segfault*.
Well fyck, spilled me coffee now tho.. -
Some days I completely lack the ability to focus on anything.. Much like a gold fish.
Other days, I keep going for hours and effortlessly picks right back up on my track..
So riding the wave & acknowledge when I should slack off and fake it when questioned is my method.. :p -
Same as every year, attempt to take over the world!
Honestly tho, I don't put goals for myself as I never reach em.
Just going with the flow, not giving too much a damn about anything and seeing what comes ;) -
"XDebug is like the SELinux of PHP."
-"I know right? It's the thing you always have to disable when something weirds out."
- random dudes on the train home -
Useful whenever anything slightly techy needs care or fixing..
Or anything heavy needs carried..
Otherwise just the guy being bashed "lovingly", usually about "get a real job" or "gym/computer addict".. -
Made me think and treat other people like disposable objects.
I also try to send as few packets to them as a result, u kno', to keeping the noise down.
Nah, just kidding.
But it has given me a solid foundation and framework for understanding for understanding so much in life..
Programming have also granted me something I continue enjoying and that I don't grow bored of quickly...
Particularly object oriented and event driven development have given me a pretty good ground to support me, on my personal endeavors onto noeroscience and understanding of the human mind..
Just for fun and curiosity tho :) -
Some of the clients I work with have their own in house (or outsourced) developer that works on day to day tasks. I let them know their load time was pretty bad, and gave them a list of changes. One of them was 'Properly remove content that was no longer being used'
Because adding 'display:none' on a div full of large image is definitely not helping. -
What is your worst project you have worked on ?
Ans) my self, I have worked on CMS project called as Ellis pathway, which is my ever worst project I have worked on. It was developed on the language called omnimark, have you by any chance heard about it ?. Moreover it was used to process XML and the worst nightmare would when XML is 500mb and it is not valid after process. I have spent shit lot of hours fixing XML manually.. I literally fucked my self there. Thank God I somehow managed to quit and move on. -
Am I the only one that didn't the use of not after a something incredibly triggering?
Eg. "Ask not what..."
I know the meaning but I interpret it as "ask how(?) [ inverse of what]... "2 -
Do we really need languages like Java and C++ throughout the full stack of a web app? I feel that a properly used scripting language alongside a compiled language (for a REST API) can almost always do the trick for highly loaded apps.3
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Is it just me or is devrant a little bit slow to load rants. If so why is that? What should be done to make it better?6
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FUCK THE FUCKING INTERNET CANT EVEN LOAD A COMMENT FORGET ABOUT POSTING ONE. I DRAGTED ONE AMD THE INTERNET MOTHER FUCKER2
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Some days I think I'm the only one that makes mistakes.
Also.... Load balancers suck. Somehow his name info is being stripped so server falls back to the catchall. -
Showing error's full stack trace to the end users because somebody set the load balancer to forward all requests as localhost
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VS2017 fast load, breaks our project in 7 different ways AND compiles much much slower. Which idiot gave the green light for public release especially with multiple ms blog posts promoting it3
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When the vendor did a search page but retrieve all the records from the database and paginate them with js, and the load test crashes with 20 concurrent users!!!
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