So true...

I saw this little gem in file explorer. I think M$ needs to update what is considered gigantic!

Came home to visit parents
Dad - Internet on my laptop isn't working (I switched him on a Ubuntu platform because he picked up a hobby of mining for viruses while doing..... "research" )
Me - did you mess with your networking settings again
Dad - (Defensible sounding) Noou
Me - (looking at settings, networking is switched off)
Me circa 3am - writing a python script to check for this automatically cos fml this is basic
Thanks for listening

Visited Java and couldn't C on short distances. Went to an iClinic that Swift'ly gave me c++ goggles. I can now C# but I Haskell been struggling with my OCaml as it's been bit by a Bash'ing Python in a Shell. I'm not trying to sell you a Ruby but I can't find my way back to BASIC.

Dependencies here dependencies there, dependencies fucking everywhere.

Muggles

If Programming Languages Were Girls:

Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.

Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.

Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.

JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.

Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
-----------------------------------------------------
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).

I am So Humble!

Others: There is a hackathon soon! Participate, bro! You will do well!
Outer me: Nah, not now.
Others: Why?
Outer me: I am doing other things now. Don't have time.
Inner me: (crying) I dont have the skills to participate yet.......

Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.

Today was a good day. The toilet door was stuck for two hours because the lock broke. After the locksmith came and tried his best, we had to kick the door in. Fun fact: a fellow dev was stuck on the inside...

Linux is user friendly. It's just very picky about who its friends are.

If you're happy and you know it, syntax error!

Back in the day when I was a junior developer, I somehow got hired by this guy who asked me to code his entire platform from scratch. I was being paid a junior dev salary, being asked to do senior dev work, and unfortunately I needed the money, so I didn't want to turn the job down. So I did what any junior dev would do in the situation... I decided to experiment and ended up with an insanely inefficient codebase.

For some stupid reason I thought that a good DB model would be to pull one record from the DB at a time, and then just repeat the method in a loop as needed. Keep in mind I was a self-taught junior dev. The backend worked great during development, and after 3 months of developing we decided to add a lot of data in the DB for further testing, and... you guessed it... the platform slowed down like shit!

Moral of the story... u get what you pay for, so hire great talent and pay them well! And also that self-taught junior devs don't know that the f@*k they are doing sometimes.

Angular Y U du dis to me

Fuck today was weird.

Today I received almost half a million on my bank account. 😯

Someone changed the ancient cryptic billing system. My user account at work has id 32 in the database, and the dev referenced the size of the creditor id instead of the of the value of the ids itself, and they're u32 ints... So ALL the money moving through our platform was accidentally transferred to my associated bank account.

For all the unit tests we have, this bug tumbled right through.

And no one at finances thought a transfer that big, to a backend dev they know by name, was suspicious — with almost no money going to other creditors...

That worries me a bit. The fact that this shit can happen, even at high test coverage, just because someone mindlessly did a wrong autocomplete or something.

Of course I will send it back... after two weeks and a few hundred € of interest.

This is just perfect 😂

Working with people who don't use and refuse to use keyboard shortcuts.

I DONT KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS

28% of people working in IT hide their job from friends and family in order not to get asked about free support.

ok people where is the gender equality??? why do people assume that im studying tourism when its so clear that i am not
cant a girl be a programmer and not the girly ground stewardess checking-in the baggages at the airport?

programming isnt only for men. women can also be great developers because we can be as capable as men. people need to stop the stereotypes jeez

*at front end job interview*
Me: so what kind of version control do you use?

CTO: well, one of the guys here developed our own system.. bla bla bla *turns around laptop*

Me: *sees internet explorer* NO THANKS 😬

Getting my first dev position. 3 months of boot camp being told I'd find a job locally in no time, only to find out the true cost; 8 months (after program completion), 100+ applications, 5 interviews, two call backs, and a lot of emotional nights questioning my decision to switch careers.

Feels good to have the first year of work under my belt. Unfortunately I'm back in the hunt.

Onwards and upwards!

@devRant, chill out and quit eating my phones battery!

Easyyy !!♥

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Someone at work trying to impress me: I recently got a really nice PC! It runs Microsoft 10 and has an i5 graphics card and a high performance case!

Me:

Android Studio the great 😂