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Search - "muggles"
So this just happened:
Sarah = best friend (random name)
Sister: Hey, could you help, sarah's phone isn't recognized by her computer anymore.
Me: What phone/pc does she have?
Me: Has she checked the drivers?
Sister: *tells to check drivers, feedback:* yes, seems to be fine.
Me: *comes up with 1000 other suggestions*
Sister: *doesn't work every time*
Me: Is there any other information that might be useful in this case?
Sister: Well, she dropped her phone in the water earlier, the phone is hardly responding.
Me: THE WAT? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD BE WORTH MENTIONING IN THE BEGINNING?!? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.21
*Me Coding with a laptop and desktop when friends enter *
Friends : u r a coder right? Hack something in front of me.
Me : *sick of explaining ppl*
*SSHs into lap from desktop and shuts it down*
See. I hacked my lap
Friends : whoa! Cool man9
Sitting on the bus updating my system.
Random girl: What are you using?
Me: Linux :).
Random girl: Ohh I use Mac, because that doesn't have viruses and can't get hacked!
*me waiting for a cliff to jump off*38
So, my broadband internet is not working. Naturally, i called my ISP and complained.
He enlightened me, "Turn on your TV and watch the news. Theres a deadly computer virus on the loose and it is affecting banks and businesses and everything. So we decided to help our customers by turning our services down for a few days."
What the actual fuck?
Its like to Not eat anything due to a bird flu.
Oh! and i have an exam tomorrow.
Thank you muggles.18
I met one of my friend from my childhood he asked me what I do for a living.
I told him : "I am a full stack developer"
He : What does that mean? What you have to do in office?
Me: I write code for websites in very simple words.
He: Like facebook?
Me: yes, exactly.
He: So you work for windows?
Me: What makes you think that?
He: Aren't websites comes with the computer?
Me: I am so unfortunate to meet you.15
I put a lot of work into trying to explain to you muggles what I do all day in a way you can understand (it's hard, trust me) and you still reject it as boring nerd crap. I'm sick of it! What if you told me working at that restaurant is "putting water on plates, wiping it off, and putting meat and cheese between slices of bread" and I said "wtf is that, and who cares?" Wouldn't that hurt your feelings, that I didn't even attempt to make a connection with you, friend? That I didn't even attempt to step outside my experience to meet yours? Isn't it equally insulting how far you have to dumb it down, just for me to lose interest entirely? And yes, I know that's not your specific task. That only proves my point further.
And why, exactly? Conceptually, you handle pre-digested poop all day.
_I teach plastic to think._ Sometimes it even thinks better than you do.
How is my job less interesting?
And what's more, why does EVERYONE seem to think so?
How do you expect people like me to keep your iPhones, bank accounts, and self-driving cars working if you alienate us like an alternate species for building those things? I mean really. You people treat us with a disinterest harmonious with homophobia. "Don't ask, don't tell." Except you do ask. And then you condescend as if working with my brain makes me less worthy of your attention than your exciting minimum-wage restaurant job.
Have fun with that, by the way.
Oh, and you're welcome for <object I fixed that wasn't really broken>. Maybe next time, just google it.
I know you won't.26
FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read27
me: *reads java book on phone*
guy next to me: *looking at my screen* you're a hacker, right?
Me and friend1: talking about Linux friend2: "what is this Linux"
Me:"it's an OS"
Friend2:"so it's something like excel and powerpoint."
Unfortunately there wasn't a cliff to jump off in that moment.15
When you're trying to explain a concept as simple as it can be to your non-dev family and friends, but they're just quietly staring at you.8
My mother sits in front of me with her laptop. After a time she asks me, who founded Microsoft. I say: "Bill Gates but why?"
She: "Oh my god, I am winning an iPhone!!!"
I know exactly what's going on, so I go to her and show her the shitty URL and some grammar mistakes in the text and close the tab after explaining that it is phishing.
After that she just looks at me and is sooooo angry about me, because she still thinks that it was real. Only because they "knew which Internet provider we were using and that they just wanted to reward us for being customer!!!". I'm so sad now, because I never thought she would fall for sth. like this... 😔7
I love to see the confusion in people's face when they ask to use my computer, open the browser, type "g", hit enter, and land on GitHub instead of Google. 😄8
yesterday at school
girl in school:
have you even got a call from a company u hacked?
Wtf? i cant hack and i never did...27
Probably the most heart breaking thing to hear as a Developer - " Nobody cares about your backend, front-end is the priority !" :/11
When I'm sitting at home scrolling through rants and laughing once in a while, my boyfriend always wants to know what's so funny. Most of the time I then have to explain the rant and he always says "you IT guys are sooo weird" and shakes his head
Non-technical people. Always assuming that just because I'm using a terminal and SSH to manage my servers, that means that I'm an evil hacker.. look, if I can run it on servers in any way, I will - simply because on those I can leave stuff running 24/7.
Just because I'm good with computers, that means that I can 'ack Phasebuk, Skype etc..
Or that I can fix this or that printer, or make slow, old, bloated PCs into performance beasts (which is true to some degree when you just remove all the shit from it) but do you really think that I want to spend multiple days doing that for someone else? Often even assumed to be for free?
I know that this sounds cliché, but damn those fucking *users* (and yes I mean that as an insult) don't make it easy to ignore. 😓3
"You're a programmer right? Can you fix my laptop?"
"Sure, lemme take a look but can't guarantee much since I'm not that familiar with windows"
"But you said you were a programmer?!"
Seriously, I haven't worked with windows properly in like seven FUCKING years!?! Being a programmer doesn't automatically mean that you know all operating systems 😡4
Dropped my youngest off at the childminder today and her husband asked me what I'm doing for a job now
.. Explained its security and data science... His reply was to ask if I can setup a printer....5
I think "Velop" should be a word.
Velop - to break software
(velopers would be muggles/stupid users?)
This would give the word "developer" a new meaning.
dear anyone looking to teach kids programming (especially organizations):
- please be realistic. teach things your students can use. how to debug, how to solve realistic, real-world problems. not how to make a turtle draw a circle, that's not programming.
- please don't have blocks. just don't. they hurt.
- focus on your content instead of putting up posters on the wall with celebrities talking about the importance of programming
- don't call it 'code,' call it 'program.' do you know how different muggles think they are?
- please teach in a logical order. too many times have I seen commands --> functions --> variables/variable types --> then back to functions and return types.
- don't set an appropriate "age" to do it. please. its enough for people to learn to program, but to be told they're too "old" for a course? I can't tell you how many forgetful seniors and special needs students have been insulted. and don't even get me started on being too young. knowledge is knowledge, skill is skill, ability is ability.
- teach concepts with programming. don't separate them. they work better when they're taught together.
- understanding is more important than style. for beginners, fuck style. all of your program could be all on one line for fucks sake. I've had teachers chose style > functionality, because, fuck working programs, right?
- let your content speak for itself. this is not the place for celebrity endorsements.
- give resources for after a lesson is complete. when a beginner is finished, recommend more resources. you're never done learning.
most of these were things code.org did wrong. fuck them. I was in a constructive criticism mood today…6
So a guy approached me for his e-commerce idea. He wanted a "good looking" website and Android app for around just 5000 INR (~ $80), including the domain and server cost. Fucker didn't have any respect for Devs.11
A non-dev friend just saw the "free santa hat with each duck ordered" announcement on my screen and he is extremely confused 😂5
Deleted Facebook and Instagram last month. Couldn't gather the courage to delete devRant. #devRantForever10
We require people to get a driver's license before allowing them anywhere near the driver's seat.
We require people to get a HAM radio license before allowing them anywhere near a transmitter that broadcasts outside of the ISM bands.
We require people to cross a huge paywall before allowing them anywhere near an oscilloscope.
We require people to sacrifice their warranties before allowing them to see the inside of their electronics.
We require people to use their brain and even risk their life before allowing them anywhere near high voltage supplies, like the 230VAC at your home, or the 15kVAC distribution network.
So why then I ask, is it that we don't require people to prove themselves worthy of using a computer, or the internet?
Why did we allow people access to what should've been the scientific ARPANET?
Why did we allow these filthy muggles - uninterested in technology - anywhere near a piece of technology just as dangerous as the things mentioned above?55
My friend typed "hack" into a .bat file on our school network and got an after-school detention and his account disabled for like a week because he simply had the intention of trying to hack the network....4
When someone logs into someone else's Instagram after being told the password and then *posts a selfie* with the caption "#hacked"
So here it is. I don't know what the f is wrong with you guys but you somehow got me to a whopping 2^12 increments. Thanks I guess. Now I can show off in front of my friends that I have a lot of internet points. Fucking muggles...
Also let me address a rising issue here on devRant and that is:
Stop bloody confusing this place with devHeyGuysWhatsYourOpinionOnXYZ?
For real people. That's not cool.
So my friend who was talking about Privacy and stuff about a minute ago is now using Google and Facebook.
I hate it when you have non-developer friends because still to this day after 16 years they still ask me what do I do with their stupid confused faces. Bloody muggles.4
So... I've seen my dad talking a lot about quantum computers, and it's getting quite embarrassing to be there when he talks about them. He doesn't understand shit about them, except that they somehow use quantum mechanics for something.
Last week my uncle from Spain visited us. He's a Cristian pastor, and a cool guy, so they always talk about god and similar themes. We gathered the family to have a dinner with my uncle as he only was going to be one day with us. This is how part of the dinner went by:
" so, <Uncle's name>, have you heard about quantum computers?"
me thinking:*Oh my God. Please not again... *
"The nasa, the US government and all kinds of powerful entities are getting the quantum computer."
He always talks about THE quantum computer as if it was just one big machine.
"They have found that multiple universes exist through it. If this is what they are telling us, imagine how far they've gone. Remember that technology is always 8 years ahead of actual public technology."
Me:*please dad, stop. Who the fuck is made that claim and how many fucking years ago?*
"Did you know that many people remember that Mandela died in prison, while in the oficial version, he died after it? They must be messing with multiple universes, or multiple timelines are getting intertwined."
Me: *please, not the mandela effect again*
Then my dad procceded to talk about multiverses and how THE quantum computer was the future and about some parts of the Bible that supported it. Bizarre, I know.
When we are alone, I always try to tell him how things actually work but he always twists my claims to support his. Last time I told him that the mandela effect was perfectly explainable by psychological phenomena around forgotten memories. But this is going to far... Fuck the guys that made zeitgeist. Fuck Alex Jones. Fuck random youtube conspiracy channels. They make technology look like fucking magic for muggles.14
'Muggles' appear to be a word used quite a lot on devRant for non-programmers.
I propose we call them PWOTRTJSAJAKAGFDEM:s, or Pwortes for short.
devRant competition - can you convince someone that you're hacking?
Windows (Linux is too easy)
You must use genuine windows command line and the following commands:
color 0a (if this isn't supported in your windows os, you can change it in properties)
The point of this is to see how easily you can convince someone you're hacking/doing something malicious. No prize or anything, I just want to see how ignorant those muggles are.8
I can't believe the stupidity of muggles..
Okay you showed me a message you got showing me a shady link.....
Fine, if you don't trust the source of the link..
Just long tap on the message and hit delete.( Disable mobile data and WiFi if you're paranoid that you can accidentally click on it.).
I try to tell him that.. and he says you're fucking stupid to do that.. it's a virus.
Did you guys know that SO stands for 'Significant Other' on other social platforms?!???
Why in the freezing cold all people think that linux = secure. Ransomware... Bla bla not happening on linux bla bla... Linux is secure.
If Linux would have been the most popular one people will pretty much run everything on root and install every stupid package available and never run: apt-get update.
Users were so dumb they got scammed by a phising mail... In freaking 2017... This is user stupidity not OS fault...
God its stupidly annoying seeing the same stuff : Linux secure...
Everything can be secure if you paid attention to the same stuff in freaking 2000.34
Do you just walk in the city and tell yourself, "fck these humans. they don't know sht."? I know that's wrong but still...4
some people are fucking idiots.
i remember one time - i made a website which ended up having a slightly major security flaw.
the big isnt the point though. this guy told me to just "write secure code."
i consequently told him, "how about you go fuck yourself?"
well, he was a painter, so i then told him "maybe you should fucking draw better," and promptly left.
well, here i present what that would be like if other people were told shit like that.
depressed person - "just be happy"
teacher - "just make your students smarter"
homosexual - "just like the opposite sex"
presidential candidate - "just win the election"
homeless person - "just get a house"
idiot - "just stop being my client" (sorry had to vent)
well you get the idea.
devs should be treated as functioning members of society.12
I fucking hate Captcha. fucking hate it. It's annoying as hell. Thrice in a row, it has recognised me as a robot.11
Made my code unreadable so that the examiner doesn't look too deep into the code and pass me for correct output.
Being a lead developer, I don't know if I am on the side of developers or managers.
In a product roadmap meet today, one of the developers explained the update of last week. He talked for at least 15 mins.
After that the sales lead looked at me, expecting me to explain (or basically dumb it down for her)
Me: Oh, he meant "UI improvements"
She: Oh, why didn't he say so?
I don't know who was the reason for the FacePalm 😐6
My piano teacher met a fellow coder in Berlin. He tried to explain my teacher what his job is. But my teacher didn't get it xD4
Fuck you Crazy Apple Fans! Fuck you for shoving iPhone X's "innovative" features in the face of every single living being who is not one of you! No, Apple is not the best tech company! It's just a genius marketer, you, dumbass person who thinks he knows a lot about technology!!10
*messing around in the screeps simulator deciding on whether to pay *
*other student walks up*
"Oh, you're playing one of _those_ games"
*stares at screen for some time*
"are you hacking the computer?!"
Me: "...yes. 😎"
*kid walks away shaking his head*
10 minutes later the teacher walks by yelling at people for not working
Welcome to high school, Anytown, USA5
That moment when you get to show off this amazing project you just finished & all they have to say is: “Meh. I bet anybody could do that.”6
Fuck my life! It took three and a half weeks to debug an issue. Guess what, there was no issue with our code in the first place! Fuck My Life.6
Just read this comment in my code from a few months ago... I guess I was in a strange mood at that time..
// Listen for fuckers. Also known by their muggle name: users.2
My Google / DDG skills have failed today... Just now I saw some post on which I wanted to comment "girls be girls 😅".
But what does that actually mean.. it sounds right and familiar in my head but it's been a while since I've used this 🤔
*Heads over to Google*
Hmm 🤔 "girls be girls meaning" might be too specific. Let's broaden it to "foo be foo meaning" (no Gboard that's not foo br foo you fuck!)
*Gets a Urban Dictionary result about Foofoo*
What the... It's never failed me before 😐
*Tries another time with "something be something meaning", to divert from the dev replacements*
Result: "be something of a sth.."
I am not interested in those fucking muggles' slang, Google! 😒
Well, whatever. Girls be girls it shall be then. Fuck you Google 😑 and fuck me because my Google-fu has failed 😰7
Me and tech coworker opens office front door. Another coworker starts ranting how he accidentally hit som key combo and started some speech synthesis feature in Windows. Me and tech coworker both declared we had never heard of that feature before.
Ten minutes goes by, then muggle coworker comes by asking for help to turn it off. Tech coworker Googles solution in literally 6 seconds on the phone without even stopping the conversation we had going on when muggle interrupted.
How is it that muggles haven't found out that the Internet contains stuff?! And that it's searchable!!
Still waiting for my Hacktoberfest T-shirt! A friend got his last year's T-shirt this week. I hope that doesn't happen to me. 🤞8
Booked a shared cab to home. A bug in the app made me travel additional 34 Kilometres for no reason. Talk about understanding the value of writing good code the hard way.2
Started to re-watch the whole season one of Silicon Valley, because was procrastinating work and needed to get inspired. Didn't take into account the time it would require to watch the whole season. Would've started earlier than I did, even after procrastinating.
I just overheard at the office one of my colleagues dont want to move on my side cause Im so quiet he didnt like me to be his seatmate. So tell me what's wrong on the person who just want to focus and do good work huh?5
This entire google playstore review system is annoying and sometimes useless. Before you download something, you tend to check for the reviews. It's just the way it is. If you see something negative, you tend to have second thoughts of proceeding to download. These muggles think as if they were entitled with anything. "3 stars. I would give you 5 stars IF..." Shut the fuck up, man. No one gives a shit! So you wouldn't give 5 stars because the feature that only you want is not there?3
How would you feel if you can't solve your code? I'm almost a week stuck on a server problem. I applied for frontend dev position, it's okay for me to do this kind of stuff but the fact that I can't solve it for so long it makes me feel down :(6
It has made life living like hell around muggles who think "it should not be that hard.. can you..."
NO! GO FUCK YOURSELF.
"Can you make me a POS system? A guy told me it should not take you more than a night. I will pay you (enough to buy Age of Empires 2 on Steam sale) as well."
NO GO LEARN TO CODE YOURSELF IN ONE NIGHT AND BUILD YOUR POS(piece of shit) YOURSELF IN THE NEXT NIGHT.3
Probably my family thinks that I'm always Hakking the system with green on black Hekurmun terminals, and always connected to the Matrix.. Yes, they are a bunch of those dreaded muggles 😅
So it turns out when you tell normal people that your a software developer, they don't know what that is which explains why they don't ask you to fix anything hardware related2
Got the job via college placements. Now realise that they are like the arrange marriages of jobs. #ArrangedWell
After a week of denial, misery, pain and stupidity, I have successfully configured my laptop for Theano and Keras!
Cheers to a week of Stackoverflowing!5
It's still so amazing to me how plebs/muggles/whatever no nothing about technology....like wtf do they think is happening behind that social media website that's catering to advertising weaknesses.
They don't I guess
Knowing or owning something extra, doesn't make you special or privileged.
Do you think racism is bad, regionalism is bad? The same is bad and true that thinking yourself superior by virtue of knowing a computer language and calling others Muggles.
Alike wizards are frowned upon to use magic in front of muggles, we developers are to do the same with our programming jokes.
Those muggles shit never get my sorting jokes 😒😒4
all those muggles making presentations in power point pff - at least use libre office...
But I use a web page as presentation 😎3
This is technically passively getting hacked.
My relatives had an Lenovo clunky machine.
They are smart enough to do their day to day browsing.
Back then the Superfish root cert fiasco was completely being blown apart and criticized by the tech media and users.
Being the technical support for them.I was requested to look into why was their system was running so slow. It was Windows 8.1 and recently upgraded to Windows 10.
I promptly opened up their browser and much to my amazement. I was wondering why the hell was a fucking TOOLBAR doing there. Yahoo,Ask and some other Toolbars.
And I WAS NOT surprised to see the superfish certificate in the root certificates also.
Debated to remove Windows and put ubuntu or Linux Mint on it. But it wasnt mine and i didnt have authority to do so.
Me decided to go into overdrive and kill everything from orbit.By completely removing and uninstalling the browsers and all the unnecessary addons. They had inadvertently added.And By Lord there were other unsavory programs running in the background.I was debating should i even nuke the entire system and do a fresh install?Had it been my system i WOULD have.
But the unsavory programs weren't that many.
I immediately started adding uBlock Origin and other tools to block such things from happening.
Due to these stuffs the RAM usage was 7.4GB constant.After I decided to drop the Little Boy from orbit.I had the memory usage drop from 7.4GB to 3.9GB.
Ever since then i haven't received one tech support request ever again from them.
People need to realise that security of the system comes from the person sitting in front of the system. No matter how fruity and idiot proof you make the system out to be.4
I'm always floored when a user knows their password when hey haven't used it in a while.
Some of them learn!1
So.. We probably have thousands of rants on git and muggles here's one from me.
I've been roped into this ongoing project, guys with 1-1.5 years of experience are already working on it.
When they shared repo with me ...
I see 195 branches WTF! What are these idiots up to 🤔
And only handful of people working on project.
This one time I was merging branch with master ( branch #196) with master, guy sitting besides me asks me what I am doing I said it's good practice to pull before you push, right?(the line I remember reading here on devRant, I thought let's bee cool 😎 😋) And I explained him that I am merging 'em locally and will push once everything looks good ( I realized later that I shouldn't have wasted my couple of minutes explaining him)
He says don't waste your time and download (clone) the project folder(repo) from github and then paste or add your change to it.
Fuck you man, you should go fuck yourself instead of telling me that I'm wasting my time.
Sometimes I wonder, What do these guys think of github? Assholes, chutiya saale1
!rant && question
There's been something that I've been bothered with for a while.
Personally I am quite condemning towards the people that are sometimes referred to as "filthy muggles", or just "nontechnical people". But recently I started wondering whether that is actually right.
I'm mainly curious about whether people not professionally involved with science or aspiring to do so, actually research science concepts like we do. Or whether they just talk tits and butts with their friends in the hood, asking hackers how to h3xx0r Phasebuk and so on, like I've been thinking and seeing for so long.
Sadly, I don't have a whole lot of contacts / friends aside from highly technical folks - which is both a curse and a blessing really. But it also renders me unable to look into this directly. So here I am asking devRant: if you have nontechnical people within your friends / family, do they actually seek scientific knowledge?
Thank you!! 🤗7
I have always been painfully aware that us developers live in an entirely different world than the IT 'muggles'.
However now I usually browse devRant on my way to work (in the train) and listen to music. I have realised this means my time and attention is now almost exclusively devoted to the developers world. It's interesting to see how easy it is to isolate yourself from people who might behave or think differently.6
I know we shouldn't be judgemental but none of my colleagues at work have a devRant account. I tried to hook them up on it. Didn't work. Now I judge them with every breath I take.1
In Sweden the word for computer is "dator" and the word for data is "data".
However "data" is commonly used as slang for computer by muggles. So when people tell me that they have problems with their "data" I always get the wtf face.
So I might be the only one, but I actually like the rush of installing Firefox and hacking out bloatware from my family's computers.... Makes me feel smart and powerful. Not my degree or job, but whatever.6
Last year as a college project, me and my friends decided to do some sort of sentiment analysis on the Yelp dataset. On the day of the evaluation, our teacher sees that our Python code for training is of about 50 something lines and argues that she wouldn't grade us well because our contribution per person was like "just 17 lines of code"! Bitch that's not how it works! That's not how you judge a learning model! Got 28 / 50!
Time to scare the shyat out of some muggles by VIMing some LaTeX. Make'em think I'm hacking the train. Mwahahaha
When a person asks what do I do I tell them that I'm a cyber wizard.
It explains it well doesn't it ?
God damn muggles...
Recently joined a company as a fresher and we all have to complete some mandatory training before being assigned to a project. The platform that we have been provided to recaptulate our programming fundamentals is so shitty that the first thing that they should do after completion of our training is to redevelop the whole platform.