😑

new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

I'm trying out a new rendering engine, it's pretty slow but I'm getting somewhere.

My (6 years old) client is sitting next to me and is kind of picky and tells me exactly what to do.

No payout though 🤔

macOS treats chess like it's the System32 file in windows

Guy called in:

Guy: hello, i can't seem to login to the sql database, could you check if the ip whitelist went right? It's on the *names server* server.
Me: *checks if guy is calling from an authorized number* - nope.
Me: I'm sorry but you're not calling from an authorized number so I can't check that for you!
Guy: no you don't understand. I don't want any of this not-authorized bullshit, I just want a solution for this right now.
Me: and I just want you to call from an authorized number.

Yeah, I actually said that. He wasn't very happy 😅

I'm still employed by the way 🤣

God bless those developers who give you a dark theme for their apps

You know, exiting Skype is even harder than exiting Vim

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

All my respect goes to sysadmins, ive been trying to hack together a cronjob for tha past 2 hours and its still not working.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

Continuation of my post about my classmate who wanted to look "hacker" by dual booting his debian with windows but ended up partitioning his entired hard drive.

He got debian to work, he opened a terminal and asked me what should he type to get all the "Hacker Tools" *cinges into orbit*

Guess what i told him to type in... ;)

Me: My dog bit me 8 times.

Dog: Stfu human, it was just one byte.

Never ever open a computer while breathing...
I got a ticket to fix a computer from the production line that was turning itself off...
When I opened it, a dark dust from hell came right into my lungs... There were more dust in there than I've ever seen in my entire life... Combined...

I'm still sneezing 3 hours later, and a few black spots keep coming out with everything else...

I think I found my first Easter Egg!

If you are boy I will name you Pascal, if you are a girl I will name you Luna

One of my colleagues at work has cooked up this amazing amazing method.. and guys brace yourself.. This code is on production..

Right now i want to put together a system to automatically water/warm/whatever my chilli peppers, but on the long run i want to embed some microcontrollers into my body.

Chrome WTF?!? Get your shit together!

Why do people post popular memes here on devrant. :/ don't turn this into Facebook

I just wanted to say that wk61 came just at the right point in time ^^

My school threw me out a couple of days ago and now I have nothing, so I'm thankful for all of you who're giving advice for job hunting

You guys are awesome! :)

I'm becoming a ROBOT!! D:
I think i should quit programming

This girl I don't even know much sent me this code. She is not a coder and has never written any code before by the way.

if(true)
{
temp=abhinav;
abhinav= v bad;
v bad= temp;
}

Is this what a modern day love note look like? 🤔🤔

!rant

Hello fellow devs. I will be having my internship in November this year. I main java language and thinking about diving into web development with Java EE.

Can you give me some tips on how to start? It feels too vast that i dont know where to start. Thanks :/

Anyone found advising sudo rm -rf to kids will be hanged to death.
- Donald Trump

Finally caught a Windows bug!