80% of coding is just staring at the code thinking about how to implement a particular feature into the code...

Want to understand a DDOS attack?
Imagine trying to work while being interrupted every few seconds.. forever.
Just like an open office!

I asked my friend at work who is the weirdest one?

He said it's me. 😱

Just kidding. 😁
I don't have any friends.
😢😩😥

I started counting at 0

How do you know that a person is using Arch Linux?

- They will tell you

When a website uses https but stores passwords in plain text...

weedX 😂😂

*youtube how to use X in Y*

*please dont be an indian please dont be an indian please dont be an indian*

hlo frnds tday ím gna shw u...

FUCK

DON'T. TOUCH. MY. FUCKING. SCREEN.

So, in my spare time I run a little helper business that teaches children/teenagers how to program.

Theres a new kid that's been coming for around about a month, and I swear the kid is a programming deity.
He picked programming and more importantly developing remarkably quickly.
Long story short, I paid for him to go to a Hackathon in LA and he now has more business contacts than me.

One day my mum got a call from a man claiming to be from Microsoft. He said there is something wrong with the computer and tried to make her install TeamViewer to "fix" it, but my mum didn't manage to install it for several hours until he gave up.
Sometimes knowing even less can save your PC.

Sometimes I feel like my wife woke up with a "--verbose" flag on...

Me: "I'll never be able to do this"

Me: "I suck at coding"

Me: "What am I even looking at"

Me: "Im going to get fired for being incompetent"

Me: "They could have hired a child with more coding prowess"

Supervisor: "Hey, good job. Keep up the good work."

Me: "Pfft of course you're talking to a pro here."

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Me: "Hey, I see you've started your class name with a lowercase letter, It's common practice to start it with a capital letter"

Co-worker that started two weeks ago with almost no experience in c++: "Oh, right. You women and your rules, you must know it then"

Me: *Awkward laugh* *Thinking as long as he changes it i'll let that one slip* *Sends him coding standard guide just in case he doesn't believe me*

-- Two days later --

He still didn't fucking change it. It pains my eyes to look at it each time he asks me for help. Oh and stop calling me "miss", I have a name.

So I’m a web developer at a company.

And I’m not allowed to access the web.

Any advice?

Guy who was bragging about being programmer before I became one: "Best programming language is Wordpress".

I was dressed up as an UDP packet for the Halloween. I don’t think anyone got it, but I couldn’t tell. #humour

Have a great Halloween :)

Ran into a devRant user at a random bar in NYC last night. Super cool meeting you in the wild!

My teacher gave me "winrar.rar" file for install winrar.