DevRant rant:

I am on DevRant for quite a while now and I really enjoy it here. The overall atmosphere is great, as well as the community. (Yes, that includes you!)
Since I came here I've learned some very valuable lessons regarding work (conditions), annoying coworkers and programming itself. I like to think of DevRant as a huge ball of experience by very talented people, as well as a great place for discussions about a topic we all love: code. But lately I am seeing more and more memes on here, with titles like "I think everybody know this", "I think everybody can relate" and "Soo true". Those posts have no value at all and are (most of the time) reposted from 9gag or similar networks. Sometimes those "rants" don't even have anything to do with devs anymore, but are only here to farm ++'es. In the beginning I really enjoyed funny "rants", but now the majority of them just annoy me. It becomes especially annoying when you see the same meme three times in 15 minutes.
I'd be in for some kind of DevFun section, where everybody is able to post his or hers jokes/memes/etc, but the current situation just really gets on my nerves.

I hope that I am not the only one who thinks like that, because I really feel uncomfortable ranting about something I actually love.

end rant

Adventures in security land.

The “legendary” lead dev authored a ticket that logs raw credentials for a third-party tool we’re using, and logs partially-obscured consumer passwords. His reasoning: “for debugging. And customer service!” And then argued with me over why that’s bad! Seriously?

Then in the release channel, he and the release manager are talking like I’m pestering them with my findings. Things like “I have some Root-induced changes coming” and “Fixed those, but she’ll probably have more...” etc.

Like come on.
I’m even being nice here, but you seriously need to stop screwing this up.

They also didn’t bother merging the fixes into the release branch, so I needed to re-review the entire (large) ticket on its own branch. Doubles the effort since I can’t easily see what changed.

The lead dev also only updated a few of the specs (despite me sending him a list), so there’s a bunch of failing ones now. Makes me unsure if he actually fixed everything.

Maybe I’m just being touchy, but ugh. Freaking annoying people.

At least he owned up to being the author this time instead of saying someone else (who wasn’t in the history...) wrote it. -.-

Fidget spinners are stupid.

But what do you have on your desk instead?

The challenge of a Rubik's Cube? A classic Newtons Cradle? A stack of empty pizza boxes? Magnets, because how do they work? The one and only devRant stress ball?

I'm looking for something to mess with when I'm staring in disbelief at horrible PRs.

Preferably something semi-creative, tactile and stress-relieving. The three-dimensional material equivalent of the doodle.

Something which is less annoying for coworkers than the clicky switches in my keyboard. And a bit more appropriate than my genitals.

Why do people say "Well, I don't know about that" to voice disagreement?

If you admit your own naivety on a subject compared to your peers, if you admit that you do not have the required knowledge to have formed an opinion, how can you disagree?

So it can either be expressed with genuine innocence, like 'Well, I don't know about that, tell me more!', which is never the case.

Or it means "Well I don't know anything about that... and I'm ashamed of the fact that I can't find any counter argument, so I refuse to trust your fucking expertise, shut the fuck up until I give you the right to voice your knowledge"

Which is a bit rude.

Now that we're on the topic of annoying expressions and platitudes...

"It's not rocket science" -- Rocket science, understanding how a rocket works, is surprisingly simple. You fill a cylinder with fuel and oxygen, add a pump or two, put some sparks underneath. Chemical reaction equals energy, direct energetic particles using a nozzle, Newton's first law does the rest. It's so simple that people don't actually study rocket science. They study aerospace engineering, or astrodynamics, which are difficult topics.

So if someone says "Devops is not rocket science", they're right, but for the wrong reason. It's actually harder than rocket science. Maybe easier than developing thermal protection system materials or solving n-body orbital problems with a slide ruler though.

"Great minds think alike" -- No, great minds actually think creatively and generate unique thoughts, if two minds think alike, the solution was just fucking obvious.

"Don't reinvent the wheel" -- First of all, pretty much nothing in code looks or even remotely functions like a simple wheel. Even metaphorically, all existing code equates to oval or square wheels. If you said "Hey, don't bother making better wheels, I like my ride to be bumpy because it stimulates my asshole", say no more, who am I to come between a product manager and their anal stimulation.

Anyway, those were four coworkers who I would've strangled with an Ethernet cable if it weren't for a certain pandemic and the risk of infection which comes with choke-coughing.

What are your linguistic pet peeves you get homicidal over?

Sometimes I feel like my job is just babysitting my coworkers. I need to find a way to teach them how to think for themselves.

I'm not a senior dev but I am the one my coworkers turn to for help. I like helping (even if it's annoying some times), so I'm thinking about embracing the mentor role in my team. My plan for now is to stop giving the answers right away (which I usually do to get back to my work) and instead try to guide my coworkers into figuring out the issue themselves. This will take more of my time of course and will require I practice my patience in a possibly stressful environment (depending on how close deadlines are), but I'm hoping that it'll produce better coworkers (one can dream, at least).

Do any of you know of any good reading resources about mentoring or becoming a mentor, specifically in tech/development?

What do you use LinkedIn for?

When I was in school I was told that programmers need a LinkedIn profile! So I made one, and connected to all my classmates and to this day still connect with my coworkers and other people I meet.

The platform itself is just full of people posting their accomplishments, but written out in way too long stories. Also a bunch of people share random articles I couldn't care less about.

At least once a week I get a network request from a recruiter, and from what I hear that's considered not very often. The recruiters always offer me a shitty job at a shitty place.

The whole platform feels like one big circlejerk with people bragging about their large network.

So what's the point of LinkedIn? Does anyone actually take jobs from annoying recruiters?

Thank goodness noise cancelling headphones exist. I have a coworker who loves running a white noise machine at his desk all day. 😒

But now I don't have to listen to it 🙉

Best purchase I have made all year.

FUCK. This person who I have to avoid at social gatherings because I find him insufferably annoying is applying to my workplace and oh my God I hope I never have to work with him, at least the company is 700 people so the odds are relatively low?

Uggggg he's the worst. And I'm so easy going. There's like two people I feel this way about (fortunately the other lives in a different city).

A quick rant during work.
I like my coworkers, I really do but they've been so annoying the past few days ever since one of them bought a small nerf gun. Now three others have one too and they're constantly shooting at each other. They bought one of these nerf guns that you have to pull at the bottom to load it and they're pretty loud when you want to work.
I swear to god I'll go home and work from there if that continues

fuck coworkers who will still disturbed you even you have your earphones on, just to debate you if you know the difference between a class and an object.

(also talks confidently and loud enough to attract other officemates attention.)

Turns out that this same asshole doesn't know what he is talking about. Then you proved him wrong , and in the end he will just copy what you are saying. In other words all the time wasted for nothing! fck

fuck these kind of people. my productivity suffers, also they look like fools.

fuck these assholes who are very specific in technical names and jargons but dont know how to use it. fuck you all arrogant asshole dipshit mdfckrr feeling superior and annoying

sorry peeps argghh

can someone give me a hug

For the love of god, why in the world are coworkers so prone to overflow with pointless informations? I don’t care about which db you use when I am a frontend, just tell me the f*cking endpoint to use ffs! Nor I care about the FE framework when I’m working on the be and most of all I don’t care about the reason behind a formula you use to calculate a freaking param, give me the goddamn formula or its name 🙄

Please tell me I’m not the only one getting triggered by coworkers explaining useless things, cause lately it’s so annoying

Not weird but f*cking annoying co-worker. Everything that sets people off he did. Also he never learn stuff like personal hygiene and stuff. One time my boss had to tell him to go home and not return to work until he took a shower. Also had didn't seem to have any work ethic at all and that got me fuming angry at him as he refused to do any work at all. When I was working in his apartment and got stuff to do he normally did and had way more experience in than me his coworkers were astounished how "fast" I worked when in realitiy I was taking it really easy. And this dickhead managed to make his stuff and then use the other time to play games ore whatever. In the end no one in the IT apartment wanted him to work there anymore. And he even managed to offend and insult our boss so much that he had to call him Mr. instead of his name. My co-workers even collected money for him to come to work looking like a human being and taking care of himself. I'm so glad I am no longer required to talk to or even work with this moron ever again

I'm getting more frustrated every day. In the past 2 months the requirements have changed dozen of times, which resulted in so many unnecessary delay.

The date for the soft launch has changed multiple times as well. One moment there is going to be a soft launch, the next week they decide to launch earlier without a soft launch.

On top of all the annoying IT related issues, our CEO is on holiday. The only person left in the company remotely capable to replace him for a few weeks is me. So beside changing requirements and deadlines, I have to deal with a lot of other shit as well.

To make things even harder, most coworkers from our support department are on holiday. Just one person is left and his wife will be getting a baby very, very soon. Ofcourse, I'm happy for him, but taking over our support department as well is not what I'm looking forward to.

The soft launch is schedule for next Monday. I'm so tired and I'm distracted every day by non IT issues. The most important things work, but there is still so much to do and I can hardly concentrate. The two other parties who are involved are far from ready either and I have to find shortcuts for their problems every morning, because they can't fix it for themselves.

Well, at least writing it down here helped my stress a little bit :)

This is really annoying when you’ve good paid job with really good coworkers but you want to change it... I always wanted to be a programmer but when I started my work in IT trade I got job as administrator... several years have passed and now changing my job is a big deal (degradation of my salary to 1/2 of actually). I don’t know what should I do... my programming skills is not impressive...I know java a bit with spring boot , hibernate and some other things(totally junior lvl of these skills)... but I think it’s not enough...this is really hard situation :/

I can't name just the one annoying coworker, because I've never had this one person I really, really couldn't stand being around. But there are plenty of coworkers that have crossed my path over the years with features that have slowly driven me towards madness.

Like the team leader with psychopathic traits and a brown nose stomping downwards and pleasing upwards.

Like the one fellow who set variable values multiple times to really, really be certain it was set.

Like the girl who sat next to me every now and then, and always started humming and singing only when she sat next to me. Always just loud enough for me to hear.

The dickhead coworkers that has been bullying me, excluding me, neglecting me over the years.

The managers who apparently never learned managing nor people skills.

Every jackass that thought it was a good idea to come stand next to me so they could have a nice conversation on the phone without being disturbed. Well, you disturbed me!

The manager who was whistling and singing so loud from his office that I had to get a Bose QuietComfort headset to get him out of my head.

Every fucking one contributing to the dinosaurism haunting the office.

I need to find a remote job... or want to... had been thinking about the benefits re: annoying coworkers, however I'm teleworking today and realize another pro: cat pair programming ;-) and con: readily available snacks. Hm...

Company has hybrid work policy. My coworkers go remote twice a week. I have never gone remote for more than 10 days for the whole year.

However, I just went for remote today and seniors keeps asking me why did I go remote? Even guilt tripping me.

I guess I put it on myself for not taking more remote days but it’s just annoying that they will make you feel that you’re pretending to work even you do actual work from home.

Just venting today.

In retrospective, I believe everyone else find me one of the most annoying coworkers they ever had.

Sitting all the way back there, all alone, doing that "black magic"-shit that's called the Internet and none of us understand. The Internet is a fad that will pass, just you wait and see. How come he gets paid at all? Why doesn't the managers change his job description so he can do a proper job, like help out in the dinosaur business we're all so dedicated to. And if I try to suggest a new task for him - why does he always answer with question after question? Why do I have to explain? Why can't he just understand what I'm thinking? Screw him! I hate him.

My fucking lazy-ass coworkers haven’t made meaningful progress on anything for months. I’m brought in as the tech lead and these stupid fucks didn’t work on any meaningful shit for literal months. Their manager was asleep at the wheel and their old tech leads apparently need months to make a couple of minor database changes.

So I’m brought in to fix it, and… surprise! They’re still lazy pedantic assholes. And they’re shocked - shocked - that people expect them to start completing a project or two per quarter. Like these dense motherfuckers thought that they could be the most annoying pedants this world has ever seen, and also do no work.

I could have done their whole 5 month project myself in a month. No joke. It’s incredibly simple. But somehow the overhead of coordinating people who A. don’t work very hard and B. assume that every ticket needs special attention and 6 hours of ponderous thought has eaten into the time we have.

I don’t respect them in the slightest. They’re such shitty developers. Whoever signed off on their hire was fucking high.

So this situation happened a while ago, but I am still pretty angry about it. I am learning Haskell, and it wasn't working, so I asked someone for help. Turns out, he had only been learning how to program for a couple weeks now, and as soon as he saw it, he burst out laughing.

He was making fun of me in the sense that I had only written one line (What?!) OKAY, first off, does this kid know what Haskell can do in one line? Much more than his beloved python, in which, the most complex thing this moron has made was a for loop. And second off, this kid is just like those retarded coworkers and bosses that measure productivity by lines.

I'm not gonna hate the kid because he's learning, but I can see he superiority growing a couple weeks in
God forbid he EVER takes this as a career option, else he may be the most arrogant, annoying human being alive.

So I had a pet goat... He was this one developer that would walk around and bother people all day. We called him a goat because of the way he would move his mouth and smack during long pauses, like a goat or cow would do with a mouth full of grass.