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one time while my colleague was away from his computer, I changed every system sound to a loud, elongated moan.4
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*happily tapping along on my projects while commuting*
Some random kid appears, overly interested in what I'm writing, so I let him look.
Then he goes *snort* do you know why Java threw c out?
No.
*giggles* because c told Java to stop treating women like and objects.
Well, treating them like primitives is no good either.
*kid walks away*
Then I hear: mom. That man ruined my joke, he said treating women like primitives is no good.6 -
That moment when your coworker puts on loud music, you're wondering if your boss is going to like this and then your boss turns his music twice as loud and the two start a battle of who can play their music the loudest.
Yup it was friday again!14 -
Computer: booted
Headphones: on
Music: playing
Volume: too loud
Terminal: open
Swearing: yes
I AM FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE PUBLIC LIBRARY2 -
Step 1. Get a large touchscreen monitor. Connect it.
Step 2. Modify the driver so touches don't actually cause clicks or anything.
Step 3. Let it play a sudden, loud BEEP instead. Increase the volume for each subsequent touch.
Step 4. Lean back and watch people learn that you don't like your screen being touched.15 -
Our software department is the only department where swearing in loud voices is allowed .
Says a lot about our department :D9 -
*loud thud*
That was my productivity falling out a window. I just found a shit load of bubble wrap lying around!
Safe to say, productivity efficiently ruined.
19 -
Do you ever talk to yourself out loud while thinking/programming/debugging? (Not a rubber duck in sight, because that makes it okay?)
I need to avoid making this a habit..
Me: What? Why is this even an error?
Someone: What?
Me: What?14 -
Trying to concentrate. Co-worker from another room standing there, BLA BLA BLA, and she's fucking LOUD. But she hates coldness, and it's below 0 °C outside.
So I open two windows, and guess who instantly leaves! Now it's cold, but SILENT. HAR HAR!6 -
I was in a public place on my laptop, and my laptop went into hibernation to save battery. I switched it back on and then the laptops BIOS came up saying that the battery was critically low, nothing bad here.
Instead of clicking continue, I decided to press "Diagnostics" instead. The diagnostics immediately began to run in the BIOS.
The screen began to show different coloured bars and patterns, obviously a screen test. Then a prompt appeared asking me if coloured bars were displayed. The options were yes and no, and a button saying "Exit" in the top right. Me, not wanting to do a full diagnostics on such a low battery, pressed exit.
The screen turned black, and then flashed red. The beeper on the motherboard began to beep at an ear-piercing volume. It sounded as if it was a bomb about to go off. Everyone around me stared and some people began to even panic. I tried switching it off by holding the power button but nothing was happening. People were just staring all around me.
After about 10 seconds, the beeping stopped and the screen displayed an error message similar to this:
"CRITICAL ERROR: Monitor test FAILED.
No user input was provided."
Moral of the story: Make your program account for all possible options.11 -
Finally, fucking finally, after twenty fucking trillion tries, a huge ass import is going steady and fast.
I'm literally, out loud, encouraging the import process 😅
"Yesyesyes keeeep it going!"
"You can do this!!"
"You're doing very well!"
I feel like a fucking retard but I'm so happy its finally starting to work 😅9 -
Oh boy...
So my mom just responded to an email saying her email account would be deleted if she didn't respond to it by typing in her email address...
And the password to that email address, her SSN, and her bank account number. Now I have to fix it. For crying out loud...3 -
When you see a semi bald man with a messy beard, bit too much belly, a dead look in the eyes that carries a pc bag.
And your first thought is "oh, a sys admin" x)7 -
!rant
Just read a DevRant comment and it made me laugh out loud. Looked at the user and it turned out to be an old comment of mine. Looked at the upvotes ... at least I think I'm funny. 😂3 -
Noticed friends smartphone was unlocked & Felt like pulling a prank, so I installed edge and set it as default.7
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In my company we have a weekly meeting for the Tech deparment, so today the IT Director (my direct manager) was describing an issue we are experiencing with our DNS, and he asked
"What we should do with our DNS?"
Instantly I said out loud:
"Resolve them"3 -
Why do people walk around holding their phone in front of their face talking to someone on loud speaker?!12
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Never did I realize how much I take it for granted.. Until it suddenly stopped working.
R.I.P space bar.4 -
I go to techno hardcore parties. The volume is so loud that usually nobody speaks to you, but you can take pictures in a very crowded environment, so when you put them on Facebook people think you are a social person, while in the reality you talk more with your computer than with humans. :D11
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I need to yell something out loud here because if I don't yell it here I'm going to yell it at a coworker, which would be unprofessional and kinda rude of me.
STOP APOLOGIZING FOR BEING A FUCKING CRETIN AND ALSO STOP BEING A FUCKING CRETIN.
Phew, thanks. That feels better.10 -
Client: "Something is missing, like a type of BOOM or some fancy stuff, but I can't pinpoint what exactly. Do you know what I mean?"
Me: "Sure, give me one sec."
Changes font of a single word on a Web page to italic.
Client: "Perfect!"
My face: Priceless and trying not to laugh out loud.3 -
Wear headphones at home office. Not because I can't play it out loud, but when you go around in Iron Maiden shirts the wife gives you a hard time about listening to J-pop.4
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You haven't actually *begun* to learn anything until you've shouted FUCK THIS SHIT (or some variation) out loud at least once.
The anger is what makes it stick in your memory.10 -
Epic team fail. I bought a mechanical keyboard, plugged it in typed one word and the team wanted to kill me.
I don't know much about keyboards, but turns out it had blue, very loud, very clicks switches.
Keyboard was unplugged, wrapped up and put back in the box ready to be returned.13 -
4 step process.
1. Loud music on the way home
2. Vent to the wife. Because she listens and is awesome.
3. Kill stuff in games. ESO or any shooter.
4. Sleep.
After all that the next day is fresh and new and all is good and right in the world.4 -
when you wake up saturday noon just to see your phone having 10 missed calls from the same unrecognized number, dial back and find it to be a mad client,
complaining about some graphic issues on a site you have nothing to do with.
checking the site; there is nothing wrong so you tell him to clear his browser cache.
he gets mad shouting a silly programmer shall not tell him what to do with his computer and its the site, not his browser.
i ask him if there is the same issue with another browser or computer..
he giggles a little then turn silent..
2mins or so later, he says: i'm gonna let your boss know about this then hangs up..2 -
Me: *click click click click*
Girlfriend: Do you have to be so loud when you're typing?!
Me: probably not *CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK*
//Gonna see how far this goes... Buying a mechanical keyboard on my break :D9 -
Did you know..
There is an Easter egg in the Unix man command, if you call it at exactly 30 mins over midnight.
Then it prints "gimme gimme gimme"; (all night long)..8 -
Worst of 2020?
Well, I've learnt never to do free / voluntary work.
Been spending many weekends helping out a former friend, mostlyby creating APIs, sites, managing servers & scripting.
Now that I have a girlfriend, my weekends are spent mostly with her.
He got really mad, said he doesn't want to waste time.
Then went to *pay* someone else to continue what I've been doing...7 -
I love mornings ; the dimmed light of the sun slowly rising, the stillness in the office, the smell of the freshly poured coffee and most of all, the excruciatingly loud motherfucker and his power drill.
Aaaaaah 😖2 -
"Hi, our client is looking for a dot net developer, and we think you'll be a good fit."
- you got the wrong person i believe.
"you list laravel & phalcon.. Those are .net?"
I'm not sure what to say here, a recruiter whom doesn't see my employed tag & doesn't know how to Google..
Laravel & phalcon is .net.. Aaallrighty then.6 -
literally lol'd out loud when I saw this. Found in the source of popular event loop library libev, in ev.c line 214:
2 -
Remember the discussion of banning terms like "blacklist" or "blackhat" because some people started to associate the color black with racism for some reason? Well, today my company started to ban those terms.
The loud minority wins again.9 -
The guy that sits opposite me eats with his mouth open and makes "onming" noises.
Also when he needs to call people overseas he goes on to speaker, and sometimes eats lunch while on calls!
I forgot to mention he's incredibly loud, that with my headset (Siberia V2) I at some points max it out :/
Bad for my ears3 -
That moment when you shout "i'm a fucking genius" too loud when you find out the solution after 2 hours of brain fuck, and your colleagues think you're crazy2
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I learned how to solve some problems using XOR.
This might be like when I learned to love regex.
*loud laugh reminiscent of Vincent Price in the Thriller music video*
What am I becoming?13 -
Let me repeat this out and loud so that we are clear before another idiot starts pitching to me on building their "world class machine learning algorithm":
NO DATA, NO MACHINE LEARNING!2 -
Someone: Be grateful that you aren’t laid off, and received all your pay checks in time.
Me: Be grateful that I haven’t severed you head and eaten noodles in your skull yet.
Of course I say it out loud in my head.1 -
Our nurse at the hospital, along with the most annoying people I've ever known, says, "knock knock" out loud when she enters the room.3
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People that blast their video in a restaurant that isn't that loud are awful people.
Like fuck you I don't wanna hear your garbage video at full volume you cock sucking cunts.4 -
Finally, got this piece of beauty and badass combined, just to get some peace at work...
Now, dare those noisy neighbors, who doesn't silence their mobile and laptops, making loud chimes in IM, playing music on speakers and knocking at my desk when I'm on headphones and clearly don't want to be disturbed...
7 -
God, I don't know whether I believe in you or not, but please kill all those people who play loud music in public.
So, I was travelling by a train two days ago. Halfway down the 15 hr journey, the guy next to me took out his laptop and started watching a movie, on speakers, in full volume. It naturally irritated me a lot, and I requested him to use head/earphones, to which he replied that he forgot his one back home. I told him to keep the volume down to which he got personal and put the volume down (maybe to 95%). Since I hate human interaction, I had to plug in my own earphones to keep his bitchy noise away.
The same thing happened today on the bus, the only two differences being:
• mobile phone instead of laptop
• said he doesn't own headphones
• claimed he could do whatever he wanted as it was not illegal
Now, I wished he fell of the bus and died, but the world ain't fair, so he still lives.14 -
MY LAPTOP just scared the shit out of me. It screamed words like a demon. I thought that I am hacked. But it was just a screen reader... I accidentally activated it or something while unlocking the lappy.2
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This had me laughing out loud this morning, my wife just looked at me funny as I tried to explain it to her.
2 -
The guy across from me on the phone being loud as ever just said this "the key to using cloud software is having it organized (he means storage in a sense), otherwise you end up with a mess on your desktop"
LOL I've seen his desktop it's a mess! -
zero motivation for anything, i just want sit outside in the sun at the lake with ice cream and not in front of a screen. And not being bothered by the new vacum cleaner loud deep learning rig of the data science department in this open floor office.
I fucking forgot my noise cancling headphones. FML
2 -
Titled my presentation "High Availability Setup", after a moment of thought, I changed it to "High Availability Architecture".
There, I will sound a bit more intelligent when I read it out loud on Monday. 😎😂2 -
Metaprogramming maybe easy to write but is so fucking hard to read and harder to maintain. Why do people even like these dynamic languages anyway :-/
*a very loud and miserable groan which may be cry for help*
I hate my life right now.5 -
If I can understand the lyrics of your music through your headphones, across three seats, through the train sounds and normal commuting-chatter, your music might be a LITTLE bit too loud3
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One sentence to fail almost any coder or related job interview:
"my code is so good, sometimes even I can't comprehend it." -
At the end of each work day, once I am sitting down, I take a moment to do a little stress relief exercise.
I get in my car, make sure all doors/windows are shut, make sure the coast is clear, and I yell at the top of my lungs.
The relief is almost instant. And even if it was a good day, sometimes a good, loud yell can just help to relieve any build up tension, anxiety, or stress you may not have known you were under. Give it a try (:2 -
It's 03:43 bst here and the dicks across the hall are still playing ridiculously loud music, and despite me asking them to shut up since I'm in work at 7 they refused. A quick nmap and I have the mac of the desktop playing the music....7
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Wrinkles appear on their forehead(s) when I spend too much time on computer. Their voices become loud but then I say - "This is going to earn me my bread."
All good. Good life :) -
!Dev
Not all Asians are the SAME. Let me explain, I got a coworker who goes by the name "Lau Dum Fuk" (which I learnt that it is pronounced "loud doom fok"). I was so stupid that I pronounced his name as "Loud Dumb Fuck" very awkward. I am Asian but I pronounced Asian name wrong . Who started with the idea that all Asian are the same?16 -
<<< prank victim today.
Swapped font so it would not display special characters and changed characters in my unit tests here and there...
Took me 40mins with headphones on, before the thought that I'm not at fault occurred...
Once you forget to lock your machine when going lunch..2 -
So, we have massive desks in office and there is no much space for them to fit +2 newcomers. Occasionally, my old youtube recommendation "Tetris Original Theme" started playing out loud. :)
10 -
Burnout signs:
1) laying in bed all day
2) watching old natgeo documentaries
3) ordering a dildo for my loud ass neighbours6 -
> reboots PC
> goes to work
> goes to hang out with friends after work
> comes home 14 hours after rebooting PC
FML... damn thing even has an SSD in ir for crying out loud
6 -
Anybody have the bad habits of biting nails down and sometimes tearing the skin off finger-tips just because licking the blood is somehow calming?
If so, how do you combat it?29 -
!dev
Someone on the bus listens to nyan cat. Really loud.
That's a great taste compared to the hardstyle that ruins my bus drive most times.12 -
How to take off with a jet:
1. Have a 2013 MBP
2. Don't clean the coolers and exhausts for 5 years
3. Transpile an app and start a gradle build
4. Enjoy your machine taking off at around 100°C
FFS Apple, 100°C is not OK. Neither is having the fucking fans so loud I can hear them over my headphones. I should probably clean the laptop... Not sure I can open it up though. Company-issued machine.7 -
I fucking hate meetings! I just spent 3 hours in a meeting arguing on how to do pull requests to master.
I am now nursing a severe headache of bullshit ideas and loud voices!!!!!!3 -
Go to bed, fell asleep early for once. Dreaming a nice dream when I wake up due to a VERY LOUD noice
Oh well, neighbours having playtime again.2 -
That moment when you make a brilliantly profound comment to the team, then turn around and realise they're not in the room. Even on realising this, I say "Oh you're not there" OUT LOUD. What is wrong with me?!3
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Please, oh please, tell me there's an exception for murdering people using their phone in speaker mode right in the middle of an open space.
Please ... I feel like it should count as public service and be rewarded ..
I'm trying to work here, it don't give the slightest flying fuck about the latest crap you dare to call code and how it fucked up your whole application.5 -
You ever just get pissed at everything?
I find myself wanting to pick a fight about everything today. Little stupid things just setting me off. Just rage...
My head also a feels a bit fuzzy. Also tinnitus is fucking loud today.
Fuck off world!17 -
How the duck do those girls (co-interns) get to play shitty songs annoyingly loudly on speakers while we're trying to do important work and nobody says anything??
If that's the case, then I'll start blasting heavy metal at the same time 😎🤘 and see who gets annoyed..
That would be a good showdown 😈4 -
Hmm, I find it highly peculiar that I let a friend borrow my pc to watch stranger things on Netflix, with her account.
I signed her into the guest account, she picked Google Chrome (not signed in).
Now my Facebook feed and YouTube adds are all about stranger things..
I get the ip gets logged & mapped.. But srsly.5 -
Company calling for support. Printer in machine room makes unusual noises. There are 5 loud 90 dB machine roads forming metal. And the first thing they hear through the hearing protection is....... a printer making silent squeaky noises...
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It's fucking annoying when your roommate feels the need to play their music so loudly you can hear it through the walls. That's not fucking necessary... I listen to music all the time without it being that loud. And if I want loud music, I do the polite thing of putting my headphones in. This shit didn't bother me early on, but it's getting on my last fucking nerves these days.
I'm trying to do homework and can barely focus because of the constant sound of bass non-stop.6 -
Fucking apple & Mac OS..
So.. Before high sierra, you could create a USB using boot camp.
All good & dandy without too much fuss.
No longer. instead it automatically mounts & copies the os onto a apfs partition(?) and without as much as a mention or warning it just reboots immediately when it's done.
Srsly, not even a silly "hey, we need to reboot"..
Now, I could probably have gone to diskutil, formatted, set the boot flags and copied the files..
But rly, Nvm that.
Besides I might actually find some use in a windows install.
So needing to install windows to create an USB is acceptable.
But Bloody hell, it's been a while since I've been in this triggered from something..
T_T no warnings, just force reboot into windows. -
You know those days you have at work where you just want to shout “Fuck it” as loud as you can and just walk out ..... yeah it was that kinda day 😡
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Why is it that mediocre people are so loud mouthed.
some stupid wannabe fuck buys a sports car ranging around 100k, he will 3 stories of a week of that car.
Meanwhile the guy who has his own yatch and 12 properties doesn't say a word about it and appears lowkey
i find this fascinating af8 -
I just finished a meeting that had also been an email. You know how it went: boss just reading the email out loud1
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Let's call him Butthead.
Butthead loves hearing his own voice, so he speaks like waterfall. You ask him one question, prepare for a one hour discussion. Always in same loud voice no matter if he is in a meeting or just chatting with his side mate.
2 -
The blocking feature is working nicely for me :D i love not reading the absolute horseshit posted by attention seeking fucktards that have nothing better to do than to be loud and whiny for extarnal shit.
:D
I was about to announce that I would do that shit for free(again) :D6 -
Teenagers are like UDP packets...
you never really know when you might get one, but when you do, they most certainly dont care. -
When you know the whole week's weather forecast w/o even looking at it, because your neighbours above you are aged people and when they read it out *loud* you can hear it all sooo clearly...
Boy do I want my own house....6 -
Just wanted to share a really cool sounding song with everyone. I’m sitting in my car in the rain and just playing this loud as fuck and it’s an amazing experience.
Artist: “Carbon Based Lifeforms”
Album: “Interloper”
Song: “M”7 -
In one of my teams there was this non-IT girl.
One morning, she asks out loud:
G - Can I run a Json?
Me - Wait! What are you trying to do?
G - I need to deploy my changes into the Dev server.
Suddently I realized what she meant.
Me- It's Jenkins! Not Json. :D1 -
What's the deal with some devs, that genuinely know their stuff and can answer almost everything off the top of their head, yet they seem unable to apply their knowledge when it comes to actually using it.
Kinda like being ace at theory but shite in practice.1 -
Turned on my MacBook, opened up Xcode, within typing one line of code my computer starts heating up and the fans are loud as fuck2
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I just said out loud to the computer: So, is 1 bigger than 1?
Sometimes I think how funny would be someone watching a programmer.4 -
Wanna know how to piss off an entire dev team?
Agree that progressive isn't good enough, must be native.
And supporting ie7 & 8 won't take much extra time or effort...2 -
when you have one of those days where your mind constantly blanks out and your ability to focus is null...
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whhooOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHSHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMRRRRRRRRR
yepp, that's me running a GitLab pipeline on my PC and laptop (laptop is noisier, 'cuz PC has Noctua all over the case).
Turns out running a pipeline of ~200 jobs is quite network-demanding. To the levels where my DNS server in LAN is timing out. And streaming Netflix in parallel kills some of the gitlab runners.
daammnnnn.... I so don't want to pay for an EC2 or EKS at this stage :/
But then again, I don't remember when was the last time I heard fans whooshing in my lappy. I so got used to only hearing the coils whine in it...
Decisions, decisions1 -
When a two programmers meet in public and they start to talk loud
Then.....
You notice people look like (o_o) and watching
And a sound from the back saying "what are you saying?"3 -
After realizing I had a problem, I finally broke down and called the tinnitus hotline.
It just kept ringing and ringing.6 -
My definition of hell?
Being forced to debug nested callbacks abusing global variables & closures generated from from reflection...6 -
Work won't buy me noise-cancelling headphones T_T it gets so fucking loud here in this open floor plan3
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I am sitting at Starbucks trying to focus and finish some posts for my side project. The lady at the next table has been loudly 😁talking about her Disney trip in excruciating detail. Do we really have to know she will store her bagel and tuna fish in the hotel room fridge - really!
30 minutes in and she is just getting to the hotel - yikes 😫
No other seats open. I am trapped. Project deliverable delay - reason loud lady.
I was going to do this as a speech to text post but too nice to do that. HELP!2 -
The park, under a tree. Preferably beside a lake or stream.
There can be people present, so long as they’re not too loud and don’t ask what I’m doing, hit on me, or try to chitchat.6 -
So my startup warned me last night that I would have to pitch. Goddamn guys, really?! Pitch for a minute in front of ... PEOPLE?! WTF were they thinking?! I'm a fucking dev, not a HR guy for crying out loud3
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The networking closet I had the pleasure of working in most of last night. That's all very loud, very warm air compressors at the bottom, and the switch, firewall, and modem up near the top. And all they had was a small step stool...
-
Hears co-working typing loud repetitive keystrokes. Wants to shout out:
FOR THE LOVE ALL THINGS
HOLY WRITE A SCRIPT!2 -
!rant
Made my research about mechanical keyboard and was worried that my first one was going to be too loud at work.
I can hear the majority of hammering cave trolls smashing their membrane keyboards louder than I can hear my MX Brown.
This shit is like heaven for fingers.
:D9 -
[Me]: Walking past a building, looks like an office building. *Light bulb*
[Me]: looks towards the nearest monitor Python terminal is open. Screams out loud "My man!" -
It’s still WFH in India. So, everything at home is a distraction. Indian households are noisy ones. Heavy traffic, loud music, constant interruptions by family members.
Appreciating the fact that I can code in my pyjamas without people judging me though.2 -
when youre working on a API and every testCase is all green plus manual testing thru Postman extension is all good..
then makes a web app use that API, authorization works as intended but the token is immedially invalid...
just..how..2 -
Saw @Linuxxx sad cuz his name was not among @BroCow porn tags.
So I figured I'd rant to include his name with triple xxx in rant.
Oh on a side node..
How's things going, @Ashkin?
Bad Trifecta still got ye down? :/..22 -
Forgot headphones, noticed coworkers conversation...
If null coalescing operator (??) returns right on null, why doesn't !! Do the opposite?
- boolean beat ya to it.1 -
what are the odds of walking with a cup of coffe and a drop falls off right into your pocket of your cowboy jeans and wets a bunch of the money you have in your wallet..1
-
There is a colleague of mine who is loud, arrogant and thinks he knows it all. Except when I worked closely with him turned out he doesn't know shit. And he has been in the industry for over a decade! Why the fuck was he hired, I don't know..
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!Rant
That amazing moment when everyone leaves office and I can enjoy music loud on iMacs amazing speakers \m/3 -
first off, i think this may be out of scope but either way.
i think along the rants, a tag seperated section for programmer tips could be pretty neat :)
i'll start off, my tip of today would be: if it seems too complex, it probably is.
consider refactoring by splitting into multiple smaller parts or even its own seperate API. :) -
The moment when you have crafted a beautiful, flexible and well structured package.
Everything including the automated tests are flawless..
but you cant help but feel like something, somewhere is horrible wrong... :D -
... I really truly hate with a passion..
when you've agreed on one solution and when it's done, but not approved and deployed..
suddenly decides "oh it needs, x-y-z that I said it won't need"..
Mind you, that x-y-z things mean rewriting a lot of it...
Oh well, at least I get paid for the extra hours to be spent.1 -
Don't you love it when your computer mouse tells you with a creepy dark voice "Congratulations, you've won a trophy" really fucking loud?2
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*slamms door open*
*screams as loud as he can*
"FREE FONT DOWNLOAD"
Wait what?
*screaming even louder*
"FREE SATORI SANS FONT DOWNLOAD IT BELOW"
Wtf stop screaming.
1 -
Hmm Monday morning and no Internet..
How do I stack overflow my "programming"?
Just kidding, Mobile Hotspot ftw.2 -
how i declare Coding session of the day to be over : when i see an error about an error that is not an error... :D
(hint: fatal: validation failed but when asked if it passed, returns true... ) -
went a little overboard and figured i'd be diferrent and whip up a class.
because, { reasons } and impulses.. :p
https://gist.github.com/sasin91/... -
I'm in an open space
Since there are new people, they are formed so people are talking. So I put my headphones with noise reduction.
But I'm with a team that communicates too, so my music shouldn't be too loud.
Man it's hard finding the good balance in the volume.1 -
*sigh*.
back from lunch break, to find my dualboot with Windows 10 & openSUSE uefi having automatically rebooted due to some updates,
and see a busy box message, because secure boot somehow was suddenly enabled (guess the w update)..
good thing i always bring a usb pen with multiple system tools and live distros...1 -
heh, so a java dev asked a php dev, whats your grestest weakness, and the php dev replied: over engineering things, but who am i to say that...
the java dev got a weird expression on .. :D -
... when you as an internee with limited access, gets your early off friday ruined by a flooding attack and one of the clients on that server somehow has your number..
-
Today, making a list out loud while in a conversation with a co-worker.
Me:
"thing one" *puts out hand*,
"thing two" *raises thumb*,
"thing three" *raises index finger*,
"thing four" *raises middle finger*
Co-worker: "That's 3 fingers, you said 4 things.."
Me: "I guess I mentally counted in base 0.."3 -
While testing the latest version of an app I'm building (side project), I actually laughed out loud and was having fun. Even if it goes nowhere, this was worth it.1
-
A quick rant during work.
I like my coworkers, I really do but they've been so annoying the past few days ever since one of them bought a small nerf gun. Now three others have one too and they're constantly shooting at each other. They bought one of these nerf guns that you have to pull at the bottom to load it and they're pretty loud when you want to work.
I swear to god I'll go home and work from there if that continues11 -
group policy prevents me from installing browser plugins at work. For crying out loud, I'm a dev! Any set of permissions that enables me to do my job would include an escape hatch for this! I can just rebuild Firefox without group policy support! What the fuck is this meant to achieve besides waste company resources!?4
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When a lovely gentleman from across the sea calls me and says
"hello I am from the computer department, there seems to be a problem with your pc"
me:"what department is that again?"
Him:"The computer department"
me:"Could you also tell me what that loud samba music is in the background?"2 -
Best thing to do after working for 4 hours in the datacenter? Removing the earprotection and hear EVERYTHING for a few minutes.3
-
You truly question decision of studying in the current place of employment when you make more money with a side hustle than the salary couple of months in a row2
-
Every time I read someone reply to a post with "lol" I stop for a moment and imagine myself actually laughing out loud to that post. I've got to say, only under ~1% of such posts were actually worth lol'ing. Other times laughing out loud to whatever is there would be retarded at best.
So either I'm a bum with only notions of a sense of humour OR there are far too many retards laughing out loud to basically anything.
Or perhaps there are too many idiots who use 'lol' without knowing what it means.
Or those people so desperately want others' attention that they lie to others pretending to like what they say/do/write by saying "what you did there made me feel so good that I burst in loud laughter".
This is stupid.
If you don't laugh OUT LOUD - then don't say that you do.
If you are not in immediate danger threatening to your life - then don't say you are LITERALLY DYING.
FFS, is it THAT hard?26 -
Worst: being forced back into the loud distracting office, to add on to the badness the covid restrictions were not taken very seriously
Best: getting a new full time remote job and an awesome company with some awesome team mates
Bonus is I now work from home fully but can still hang out with my great former coworkers -
How do I get in the coding zone 🤔 I get buzzed off my tits with caffeine then loud music and code all night
Thought that's how we all do it1 -
Do you guys often talk out loud when coding/debugging ? I find myself doing that and it has actually helped me find mistake or understand things8
-
Music - usually Pink Floyd. Loud enough to overpower my thoughts.
Worked even better when I could go on a bike ride to clear my head, but my bike got stolen 🤬3 -
Oh oh. Dude who use to sit next to me who didn't seem to be able to chew at a normal volume. It was so so so loud. 😷😷
-
Oh boy, please don't fuck a girl in public place! Her scream really violated my hearing ability!
Anyway I'm inside my room. The sound is fascinating loud.3 -
Do you hate / like loss-of-quality compression?
Check on this music video (might be loud):
https://youtube.com/watch/...
2 -
My 1300€ Thinkpad is just a noisy and sometimes annoying laptop. It is sometimes so loud that my colleague is pissed off.
It is almost four years old and dust cleaning did not help...
I am so pissed off by this behaviour i am actually thinking of selling it and buying a macbook.......11 -
Seeing quite a few people post ("bump") just to subscribe to a rant.
would be a neat feature to have a subscribe to rant checkbox :)6 -
Went shopping with my girlfriend the other day and saw one of the sizes was OOP
I immediately asked out loud: “Object Oriented Programming?”3 -
In the lab:
"Look! I have compiled and that gave me no errors! On the first try!"
So I look closer and
"Dude, ehm.., you are compiling the wrong file..."
Then he tries to compile the right class and the compiler returned errors on errors
"You know what? I hate you."
Never laughed that loud -
I'm at a hospital waiting and the tv is so loud so I thought I'd find a remote app to turn it down.
I found this app, one with no ads but look at all the damn permissions it needs....
What the hell,
Anyone know a good remote app that doesn't want to steal my identity?
5 -
If you discovered a vulnerability affecting multiple of the big dogs, would file a cve and report it immediately or have some *fun* first?
-
https://eelo.io looks very interesting, especially for the privacy aware.. :)
On a nostalgia note; Behind the company, it's said to be the creator of Mandrake.9 -
when you just had to drink that Kate coffee to get that last bit done and commited but as a result is completely unable to sleep.. ends up in a train of thoughs with a hint of philosophy... weep woop before you know it, your night sent Warp speed to bright outside..
finally i feel tired.. fml.1 -
"Code monkey not say it out loud. Code monkey not crazy just proud."
-Jonathan Coulton
Regarding many of my rants and, I would suspect, many rants on here. -
when i was still studying "web integrator", didnt know shit about programming and just went there to be with a friend.
I quickly got bored, sick and tired of it all being procedural style so i decided there must be something better...
i spend loads of time but eventually developed my own almost fully fledged oop framework, minus polymorphic relationship support, events( i was on the way to that but called it messageBus ),
implicit route bindings
and the routing was based on reflection of controller methods following rest naming.
also i hadnt discovered composer, yet.
by the time i discovered composers, i also discovered laravel, which is my now prefered framework.. :) -
My first exposure to computers?
My father had bought this new machine (windows 98 "new" of course) and we put it in a very moist place (some kind of halfway balcony) in our old flat.
...which was pretty stupid.
One day it made a loud nois, started smoking and stopped responding.
I loved the animated paperclip though! -
Screaming/getting loud is common sense in our office. If one of us thinks his opinion is the right one, we always defend our positions until a Nerf war emerges. Screaming included!8
-
Don't even say your initial time estimate/guess out loud. It will probably become your deadline, and you probably assumed that most things would take a reasonable amout of time.
Bonus: Try to get onto projects that you think you can get interested in. Once on a project try to keep interested in it's success.8 -
Reading all the week37 pranks, I really envy you folks. I mean these pranks are loud and big, won't others get distracted is my question? How do they let you work after these pranks? 😁1
-
Making an efficient design foe large scale is way harder than what meets the eye.
Especially when legacy support is involved. -
Accidentally saying out loud "oh for fucks sake" when you overhear someone, talking on the phone, say "oh you're going to ask {Insert your name here} to do that" and you're already overloaded.
-
For crying out loud, no, GoDaddy, you don't just shutdown expired domain without ANY warnings. No!!! Not cool!!!5
-
Some things never change
> Have to deploy only one feature to production
> Create branch from latest tag, cherry pick the correct changes
> Mess up merge
> Almost deploy resulting broken code to production
> Realize at last moment
> Let out a loud sigh, start over
Every damn time.4 -
I’m living the dream. Lightweight, powerful, beautiful gaming laptops are a thing (have been for a while) and I have the pleasure of owning one.
I remember one of my college peers having a BRICK Alienware laptop in 2010. Don’t get me wrong, It was awesome at the time and I was super jealous, but it was insanely loud, heavy af, and as thick as a calculus textbook!
But now with the amazing RTX GPUs, and TB SSDs I can game on max settings, benchmark fairly well and take it with me when I travel for work alongside my work laptop all in the same bag without breaking my back.
🤘🏼 I love my Asus Zephyrus 🤘🏼
The fan is still hella loud though 😆
Maybe by mid or late 2020s we will have a revolutionary cooling system that would rid our dependence on fans for cooling. Just dreaming out loud here. It sure would be great to not have to clean the dust out.8 -
The most, laziest thing I've ever find was writing a program to read out loud the text from a PDF, because I was to lazy to actually read it, wanted to hear it instead...4
-
Sometime my code is so wrong that I can almost hear the mother of algorithm crying out loud.
I just want to remove that piece of code from my project....no, from my mind, my life. -
I have co workers who laugh at me everytime I discuss to them how we should create clean code. (create functions for repeating code, naming conventions, generic code).
They would brag instead how they make another javascript ui library/plugin work(we are web developers by the way). Looks good in the front end but a mess in the backend.
I already created generic classes, generic database views that can be used by them if they want. But they create a new one with the same functionality.
I am a bit of a shy guy, and they are bit of loud, and I don't want to look like a know-it-all-guy, so I just let them do what they want.
I am just concerned how we can work easier by easily reading each others code.5 -
Trying to explain a game developer in a community, why its a bad idea to only make client side patches for equiptment to appear correctly..
me: because the server needs to be aware of the changes made to avoid faulty calculations, for instance if the client calculates a fatal but the server disagree..
dev: but it works...
me: yes, but not optimally.
dev: Working as intended (TM)
me: ... teh fuq?
not sure if he's a bad troll or wut..1 -
YouTube interrupting me with an advert that is 3x as loud as my music with annoying jingles that make my ears bleed.
I don’t want to buy Spotify pro because I’m poor okay let me just listen to music on YouTube in peace.11 -
Take a break sometimes. Go outside in fresh air and explain the problem to your self out loud. Doing this has made me ask myself the following question many times: "Why the hell have i just spent hours working on this problem and not realized this simple solution?"
-
My worst habit(?) is probably loving to "waste" time, making api uri builders.
so I can chain a couple of methods instead of just typing out an uri :p -
Lesson learned today :
Don't get lazy and muscle monkey hanging out your laundry..
Like your code, you'll eventually regret monkeying it.1 -
When I was studying web integrator.
At first I didn't even know html, yet alone what a php tag or extension meant.
I quickly caught onto it though and started to grasp that the procedural stuff they taught was really outdated.
So I researched intensely and eventually whipped up my very own php framework.
- if you're interested, it lives on github.com:sasin91/php-framework
Obviously it's a pile of fungal infested dung.
but ey, I was light years ahead of the rest of the class.
Besides, we all gotta stackoverflow somewhere :) -
!rant
@dfox @trogus
I just watched the "die bastard die" cartoon and have to say it's fucking excellent.
I never actually laugh out loud at these things, but this made me piss myself a little bit.
Well played.1 -
Some people were talking about IPhones and I calmly stated that Apple should catch up, and somebody behind me that I hate said "Android should catch up".
I could not help but laugh out loud.
I then looked it up, but didn't show him the specs between these phones:
digitaltrends.com/mobile/iphone-7-vs-galaxy-s7/9 -
Cognitive overload: the silent slayer of developers.
Especially when you're bad at assessing your own capabilities and choose to sacrifice sleep without concern for taking actual time to enjoy the silence and tranquility of.. nothing.
Sometimes it's pretty hard to not go mad when those old gods whisper your demise. -
The guy (!dev think he is some kind of analyst) who insists on pacing up and down the open plan office with his Bluetooth headset when on a call1
-
"What do you mean I can't use a regex object as the key in a hashmap??
...ok, you know, now that I actually said it out loud"3 -
when a dev with absolutely no knowledge of the systems or whatsoever, tells a client "sure, easy. we can get your password if you forget" and that client then comes to you and doesnt understand he has to use the recovery function because its encrypted using a slow oneway hash...
needless to say, that dev thought passwords were stored in cleartext.. -
I can't fucking read adobe *eks deh* ever as what they intended it to be, it always seems like the author of the comment / .. is a gen Z laughing out loud about something.6
-
Just got home to finish daily work and meetings and now there’s an ice cream truck outside playing shit music as loud as possible.
I think I hate people.3 -
Best way to get in the zone: a meditation smoke, mountain dew, a lack of humans to distract me, loud music and most importantly a problem.
You put a decent enough problem in front of me and I'm in front of the screen for days before I realize I need to eat.1 -
Someone at my work actually got a rubber duck and him talking to this duck (himself) is really annoying at one point someone got over there and solved problem for him lol seriously, who actually says it out loud?3
-
that moment when a fellow dev asks you a web dev ( PHP ) for help and you see
... -03 -0fast & funroll fruity loops ...
im not surprised that Gentoo box died ... -
Typo3.
Especially when it comes to debugging third party (usually outsourced) plugins and implantations..
It's daz vile wild west over there, you never know where something is defined, but more often that not, some obscure TypoScript file.
Never have i been so grateful for xdebug & grep / awk combined with regular expressions.. -
If you write a solution to something at work, then the company most likely holds ownership with whatever license they have.
However if you rewrite that solution in your spare time, into a package that solves the same problem but different then replace (with permission to) the original implementation with the new one..
Can said company then claim ownership on your package?3 -
Talk about giving me a headache..
Mmh k, so i want to move my current domain to cloudflare.
Go to current provider, their site report a previous provider has the record but that provider says they have nothing left.
Great.
Contact current provider and they tell me to contact cloudflare, cloudflare tells me to resolve that issue with my previous provider....
Starting to feel like just dropping it and getting a new ... -
Why did I ever move to a cubicle in a more densely populated area? (>_<)
So many people constantly talking. It's like it's a requirement to be loud to be on this floor!2 -
The Joe Rogan Experience. Sometimes I just need to hear someone else thinking out loud so I don't have to do it for myself. Plus, who else is going to remind me that:
“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”
- Joe Rogan1 -
That moment when you are deep in the zone, focused and solving that damn bug, and the managers began a loud meeting a couple of meters from you, throwing away all the chances to solve the bug, even with earbuds on...
-
// I could not post it yesterday coz #devrant
Am I the only person here who really but really started to hate fireworks?
Everyone is shooting, I can't even play because it is so loud outside and do not try to open windows coz you will die from poisoning in seconds...2 -
When I get stuck or don't understand why something is not working the way I think it should, I like to walk my self through the code and explain it out loud to myself.1
-
Tell them to not buy the ceapest $Machine. They will buy the cheapest and complain why it's not working few weeks after.
Or more specific:
Tell them to buy 1TB ext storage. They will come complain that their data didn't fit their 500GB cheap ass solution and, clearly, it's your fault 'cause 500 > 1 ...(sic!) -
I think I just woke up from a nightmare and inception.
I was dreaming about not being able to sleep because I was hearing loud noises all night.
Anyone else every had that?2 -
Question: How to deal with an idiot product owner?
Doesn't understand the job description. Thinks he's the manager. Controlling. Loud. Annoying. -
!Rant
So I was reassigned from Android to backend a month ago...
Meaning a poor lonely Nexus 5 was just sitting collecting dust...
Saturday night and what do I do?
Go out like a normal person?
*Laughs way too loud*
Nahhhh let's do a pwnie install and start snooping on neighbors!!! -
Studying mathematics, which in fact I consider as the most effective mind practice for a developer, even if you won't utilize some concepts directly in programming.
And also wandering around and walking long distances, probably because I really like to talk to think loud 😄 and it's less weird when you're just passing by. Anyway I enjoy it personally. -
Some days I completely lack the ability to focus on anything.. Much like a gold fish.
Other days, I keep going for hours and effortlessly picks right back up on my track..
So riding the wave & acknowledge when I should slack off and fake it when questioned is my method.. :p -
How can you tell that your PC is under a heavy load?
When, despite having your high-quality active noise canceling headphones on and playing games, you can still hear what must be your GPU having a heatstroke and having it's fans spin at 100%.
Never knew it can be this loud. Or maybe the headphones are just crap.3 -
How do you know, without a doubt, that you really need to take the time to sort through your storage devices?
...ok, I got the message, loud and clear.
5 -
me: clicks button run
program starts throwing out fatal errors
me: shhhhhhhh, whats wrong, whos hurting you?:'(
i sed the shhhhh part out loud, not even realizing it🤦♂️2 -
That emberassing moment when you watch youtube on tv and you mom walks in as the FIFA ad starts to bawl loudly outta your tv.
Worse than getting stepped in on watching porn imo. -
Tried using a new language...
Syntax was really nice to work with, no additional bloat like webpack/babel required either...
And then I hit the roadblock...
they enforce *hardtabs* with no option to change to spaces D:
for crying out loud D:8 -
What keyboard do you use ? Any advice ? I would like something for office. Mechanical but not too loud.7
-
Collect project specifications & details.
- order by relevance.
List & install dependencies (possibly spin up a vm).
mkdir ~/Code/{lang}/{framework?}/{project}
Bootstrap skeleton & scaffold.
- ensure functional base.
Iterate specs list & create test case(s) one at a time, going: test => minimal to pass => refactor => next(repeat_cycle)1 -
My co-working space was too loud, so I created an app to shush them automatically
(that's the name)
It actually worked :-)
1 -
If you complain audibly at a metal show at a metal bar about how rowdy and feral it gets, I hope you die a painful death and everyone complains how loud you die.
-
I sit right behind the board games table. While it was nice that my company provides games and doesn't mind us playing for destressing, my colleagues played and laughed so loud at the table that sometimes they distracted my work discussions with the other colleagues. Usually when this happens I'll just join them.
-
1. Pop breth mints to cover the smell of Jack in my coffee.
2. Headphones + NPR because my cube farm is loud AF and the owners idiot son sits right next to me watching YouTube comedy all day.
3. Check calander and commit log while VS loads our 100 project solution.
4. Get cracking -
Made me think and treat other people like disposable objects.
I also try to send as few packets to them as a result, u kno', to keeping the noise down.
Nah, just kidding.
But it has given me a solid foundation and framework for understanding for understanding so much in life..
Programming have also granted me something I continue enjoying and that I don't grow bored of quickly...
Particularly object oriented and event driven development have given me a pretty good ground to support me, on my personal endeavors onto noeroscience and understanding of the human mind..
Just for fun and curiosity tho :) -
Anyone ever thought about teaching or have taught private coding lessons? Seems to be some interest in my area just thinking out loud wondering if it could be an extra revenue stream for me..2
-
Baseball game
I love sports, the weather was fantastic and the crowd wasn't that loud. Kicked my feet back, cracked open a Yoohoo, turned on my light theme and went to work.
I'd do it again too. But that kinda weather isn't here yet. -
Cannot figure out why my MBP slows to turtle speed every time it hits under 20% battery and fans spin up so loud and fast it sounds like a damn drone. I’ve reset the smc and everything!2
-
Please.....
Don't troubleshoot over my shoulder.
Don't point at the screen over my shoulder.
Don't suggest the troubleshooting step I'm currently on, while pointing at the screen and whispering over my shoulder.
Don't think out loud as you are troubleshooting over my shoulder.
Please....2 -
How to deal with a loud speaker dev (broadcaster) who keeps the team updated with every idea coming to her mind ?!3
-
How to deal with coworkers playing music on loud speaker and the genre happened to be the one that you hate the most?4
-
Am I the only one that didn't the use of not after a something incredibly triggering?
Eg. "Ask not what..."
I know the meaning but I interpret it as "ask how(?) [ inverse of what]... "2 -
Why do I fart so much? It's such a problem, while I was in church, I farted so loud they kicked me out.
If anyone has any advice on how to fart more, please give me advice.
(Will take any advice)4 -
Putting on my headphones, listening to loud af chill step while completely disconnecting myself from the outside world and just getting my flow on.
-
Find an error on line 69... start to giggle....
In dutch a "line" as in "error on line .." can be translated to "regel"
And in dutch "regel" can have two meanings.
Line and Rule.
Error on line 34.
Reading out loud in Dutch: "Error op regel 34"
translated to:
Error on rule 34. Launching out loud and thinking of the possibility.
Will i ever mature...1 -
Office loud and lively af today and I thought I don't need my headphones.
This and my lack of sleep make me unable to concentrate.
Fuckkkkk -
From my apartment the sound of me typing in the keyboard is so loud. I'm wondering if the neighbors are listening to this and getting crazy with it.2
-
I still say there is nothing like music for distracting me. Sure, it often helps me focus, without a doubt... Who here hasn't found themselves in the groove, then without warning, one of those songs comes on that pulls you out of the zone, bouncing your feet along with the beat, barely keeping from singing out loud?
-
Wherever make it easier for me to enter the zone. Sometimes a loud coffee shop will do when I felt like it. Sometimes at home when everything is so quiet. It depends.
-
!dev || rant
Random thought: how loud does a fart have to be in order for it to echo? I mean, they say a duck's quack doesn't echo, and it's basically the same sound.9 -
That moment when somebody types on your Macbook Pro as if he was typing on a typewriter and you feel like saying 'Caveman go back to the stone age' but you can't.2
-
Oh shit I've had way to much caffeine 🤤
Heart is full on racing I haven't had any for a few weeks and I just had 2 relentless... High caffeine energy drinks
Oh fuck.... Loud music and hype might help !?
Anyone? -
Best parts of being a dev.
Getting paid to use your brain solving problems.
Trying to explain what you do to the elderly.
Excuses for taking a break and talking out loud.
Getting to work with other devs to improve your knowledge. -
Construction work at the office today.
Drill and hammer noises extremely loud.
I put my music volume up, but every time the drill stops I think I'm going to go deaf.2 -
In case of error, During error solving and decrease the tension:
some take coffee
Some do smoke
Some consume alcohol
Some take beers
I take lot of water and start loud senseless music.
What do you do?5 -
How do you deal with technical interviews that are not in your native language?
I speak English fairly well. But when you are in pressure or want to explain of course I feel that urge to switch to native and explain concepts.
What's your trick ?3 -
I hate AudioContext. Visitors might like it since it does not permit websites to blast loud sounds. However, as a developer, I hate it. Before AudioContext existed everything was cool. Suddenly it appeared from nowhere. I had no clue that Chrome added it. Now my websites aren't as exciting at first glance anymore.
7 -
My rubber duck.
Because talking out loud has kept me from making a lot of mistakes. Sometimes ideas are just dumb if you try to explain them. Even if it's to an inanimate object. -
I have two coworkers that discuss every day for hours about anything.
Past month they were discussing about Docker Swarm x Kubernetes and it’s impossible to work without headphones and loud music. -
!rant
Ever since the Windows 10 anniversary update. Whenever I resume a video after pausing for a couple minutes on VLC the audio is super loud and distorted. I've been troubleshooting this for a long time and tried multiple driver versions and what not. Anybody else facing the same issue?2
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