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Search - "no lives matter"
Father bought a PC in 1997. Back then very few had it. I learned doing things like accessing the internet and sending emails, among others. I remember having added age on websites to be allowed to sign up at times :P My sisters used to play games on it sometimes. The first few ones we had were Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation, Tomb Raider Chronicles, American McGee's Alice(Which caused us to upgrade the PC xD)... And some others.
I have a memory of this pseudo-3D-looking game where you move in a maze and try answering questions. I want to remember its name, but I cannot :(
We literally have video evidence of me liking the computer as a child, yet my parents either say I'm addicted or deny I've ever liked it before. Not only that, but continuously limiting my time with the PC hasn't been a literal obstacle in my way of trying to do things in their opinion. Funny how my parents think the last few years I've been my worst when they've hurt me in those years so much that our relationship is guaranteed not working out. There were doubts in my head before, but now it's cemented and there is no way of going back. Father, for example, tells me it's too late to do anything with a PC now(As well as how I've been unable to use the PC. He looks at these pro players' footage in some TV show and he's like, „You've been unable to use your hobbies“, as if they have never ever screamed at me for perceived gaming and not actually cared to check), and I need to look for a „real“ job.
Sorry. I went to bed at 2:00 in the morning. Feel like a zombie because of ongoing weirdly insufficient sleep, even though I sleep kinda more than normal. Even when I took Melatonine for that it didn't help at all.
Childhood was where beating began. I was about 6/7. Right when I entered school. The first school that I attended was a private one and supposedly for „Wunderkinds“, while in reality I haven't seen a SINGLE teacher or psychologist approve of it, their argument being that children were basically drowned in work that wasn't age-appropriate(I don't mean anything bad. Just that teaching about Galaxies and all in first grade isn't the brightest idea). There was always a mountain of homework to do and as opposed to some other countries, we had to do it on a day to day basis. We didn't have a week-long deadline. I was predictably not keeping up with it as I could have, had it been a normal amount, so my parents decided I didn't want to study and began their methods of getting me to „study“. I have yet to see a person able to keep up with that school's tempo, no matter the age.
This place was also where I got bullied. I felt I had nowhere to be: At home, the parents' situation, at school, the bully. I never really went outside to play with other children, so I missed that part of childhood.
After the second year of school I was transferred to an advanced German school, called like that because they taught German and not English there. I also got to learn a bit of Russian before they removed it from school. In that period I used to attend ballet. But for less than a year. And piano, which I remember having attended for quite a long while, some years, if my memory isn't fried. I quit it because of it having been forced on me. Last piece I ever played fully was Beethoven's Marmotte.
In this school I was once again the outcast of the class. I had some people to interact with. All of those interactions lasted a few years at most. Then, because of a part of my class choosing me as a laughing-stock N2 and another girl as the N1, I found my best friend, who I still have today. She's the only friend I have nearby.
Most of the time I hated myself. Even today I struggle with that sometimes.
After that came university. This us where I got something like a friend circle at last. But it still didn't last. I got in a relationship with one of the guys, but I was just attracted. There was another I couldn't dare getting close to. Turns out he also had something for me. Then he disappeared from our lives and a year after, I still cannot forget the person. If I want to, I have to deprive myself of my own personality. Not a thing I'm willing to give up. Then I broke up with the guy I was in a relationship with and completely disappeared from the friendship circle. To be honest, I had reasons to. They refused to even try to look for the guy and they called him a friend for years. Sometimes parents hitting me can occur even today, but if I REALLY piss them off.
Now I'm here and oh, my God, I'm officially am aunt now! My sister gave birth to a daughter this morning... She's in Berlin with mother and both she and the child are doing great. I just hope she manages to be a good mother.22
WASM was a mistake. I just wanted to learn C++ and have fast code on the web. Everyone praised it. No one mentioned that it would double or quadruple my development time. That it would cause me to curse repeatedly at the screen until I wanted to harm myself.
The problem was never C++, which was a respectable if long-winded language. No no no. The problem was the lack of support for 'objects' or 'arrays' as parameters or return types. Anything of any complexity lives on one giant Float32Array which must surely bring a look of disgust from every programmer on this muddy rock. That is, one single array variable that you re-use for EVERYTHING.
Have a color? Throw it on the array. 10 floats in an object? Push it on the array - and split off the two bools via dependency injection (why do I have 3-4 line function parameter lists?!). Have an image with 1,000,000 floats? Drop it in the array. Want to return an array? Provide a malloc ptr into the code and write to it, then read from that location in JS after running the function, modifying the array as a side effect.
My- hahaha, my web worker has two images it's working with, calculations for all the planets, sun and moon in the solar system, and bunch of other calculations I wanted offloaded from the main thread... they all live in ONE GIANT ARRAY. LMFAO.If I want to find an element? I have to know exactly where to look or else, good luck finding it among the millions of numbers on that thing.
And of course, if you work with these, you put them in loops. Then you can have the joys of off-by-one errors that not only result in bad results in the returned array, but inexplicable errors in which code you haven't even touched suddenly has bad values. I've had entire functions suddenly explode with random errors because I accidentally overwrote the wrong section of that float array. Not like, the variable the function was using was wrong. No. WASM acted like the function didn't even exist and it didn't know why. Because, somehow, the function ALSO lived on that Float32Array.
And because you're using WASM to be fast, you're typically trying to overwrite things that do O(N) operations or more. NO ONE is going to use this return a + b. One off functions just aren't worth programming in WASM. Worst of all, debugging this is often a matter of writing print and console.log statements everywhere, to try and 'eat' the whole array at once to find out what portion got corrupted or is broke. Or comment out your code line by line to see what in forsaken 9 circles of coding hell caused your problem. It's like debugging blind in a strange and overgrown forest of code that you don't even recognize because most of it is there to satisfy the needs of WASM.
And because it takes so long to debug, it takes a massively long time to create things, and by the time you're done, the dependent package you're building for has 'moved on' and find you suddenly need to update a bunch of crap when you're not even finished. All of this, purely because of a horribly designed technology.
And do they have sympathy for you for forcing you to update all this stuff? No. They don't owe you sympathy, and god forbid they give you any. You are a developer and so it is your duty to suffer - for some kind of karma.
I wanted to love WASM, but screw that thing, it's horrible errors and most of all, the WASM heap32.8
This whole racism shitshow needs to fuck off. I had a problem with a coworker today who happens to have a darker color skin than I. I was cheated, robbed, and assaulted while on the job and did nothing in response, and somehow I'm still the bad guy.33
Non-dev degenerate vent.
I miss fucking strangers but I was probably lucky to get out of that life alive, without STD, and with a good man beside me. People often shit on apps like Tinder but damn, I love them. Throw in the food delivery apps too. They're on the same fucking level to me. I love how shallow and self-indulgent they can be. I'm aware that this isn't good, that other people's experiences are different, and I'm gonna look like an asshole in the next paragraphs so knock it off with the essay comments.
You scroll through the menu, find something you like, checkout, and it's there within an hour or so. You fuck them and one of you leaves. You go back to work, your mind is clear. Whatever garbage that's in there before has been fucked out of your brain. It's like a free massage with zero attachments. "Oh U tHiNk iTs fReE? iT tAkEs a tOlL oN uR bRaIn & bOdY!" I know. I fucking know. Shut up. I can't write a fucking post without it being super long to accommodate all the fucking loopholes and useless disclaimers that some smart asses think no one has ever thought of.
Anyway, I have this weird relationship with people where I hate them but I also want to fuck them hard if I find them physically attractive. When I use these apps, I'm aware that they are people but our interactions are barely human and somehow that works well with my misanthropy. We are honest about the only thing we want (still human to want to have sex but no other emotional connection) and when they try to get to know me, I take a step back, let them know what I don't want, or fuck someone else. I don't wanna know what's in their soul or some shit. It often ruins their image for me.
I get a high on the idea that I'm meeting someone strictly for sex and that there wouldn't be much conversation or various social crap with it. New look, smell, feel, moan, kink, and technique. It's fucking amazing to look at someone in a phone screen and for them to be there in person in a matter of hours. You can feel them, kiss them, smell them, etc. Before you know it, you have your tongues down each others' throats, you're fucking and cumming together. I get horny just thinking about it. It's like 3D printing your dream of the day. What would you like for tonight? A blonde one from Germany? A dark one from Turkey? I'm so lucky to live in such a city.
I'm not here to worship or demonize those apps. Some people met the love of their lives there and some people, like me, indulged in it in what others consider disgusting. I regret nothing. My partner knows about my experience and my sex drive. I never discussed my exact thoughts about these people with him but he knows me despite us being thousands of miles apart, I guess. I remember snapping at him a few times early on in our relationship for different but petty reasons. He told me that he'd be fine with me "using" other men's bodies and I refused to do that. I can tell you right now that I'm really fucking tempted though.44
Take the know-it-all guy you grew up with, that ruins every relationship he's ever had with friends and family, because he gets angry when folks don't deem him as the authority, even for shit he doesn't have a single clue about doing correctly.
Now make him the manager of a fast-food restaurant - so he can command anyone he pleases, making them do anything he wants them to, because he feels it's fun to experiment with co-workers emotions.
Give him an assistant manager that realizes that the only way they can keep their job is to kiss his ass, blowing him every once in a while for a ten cent raise, while the rest of the employees do nothing but smile, say "yes, sir", and go about their business - eventually shit talking about him at the parties he's not invited to.
Watch him jump on every fashion trend, no matter how much it costs, until he eventually decides that the job he's had for the last decade and his fellow employees are beneath him, without saving any money to pay for the things he needs to survive, or taking the proper time to learn all the things that would have made him successful in the long run.
Even though he was an uptight twat and a half, some folks feel that he never got the chance he deserved, as death comes knocking at an earlier age than many would have expected; creating an empty, irrational, and partial dependency in their lives, caused by problems he never cared to correct for their love and admiration, while others are happy as fuck that he's breathed his last breath.
This is the state of our current industry.
*Drops the mic*1
User: "Why isn't this process updated? There's something wrong with your system."
Me: "Did you submit the request?"
User: "Uh yeah I'm sure I did..."
Me: "Go submit the request again." (they never did the first time)
User: "I don't know how. Will you show me?" *shows user how to do it* "Ok I did it now."
Me: "You did it wrong, you need to resubmit it."
User: "Ok I resubmitted it."
* a week later *
User: "The process still hasn't shown any progress."
Me: "You didn't resubmit it like you said you did."
User: "Will you show me how to do it again?"
* fuck me *
Process works as expected and everyone lives happily ever after, except the developer that knows it is just a matter of time till the next user blatantly lies, has no respect for anyone's time, and demonstrates a complete lack of desire to care about their job at all and just wants to bitch and complain like a typical lazy ass-hat.6
I don't think it's to complicated...
Dumb clients, no matter who they are if they want you to fix their computer ... Create a new Twitter , hack, when you don't hack.
They make our lives hell .. why ? Because ignorance.
My favourite is when they expect you to work for nothing.oh but you can have 2% it's a billion dollar idea you'll make like 20 mill!😒🙄 All I'll do is sit here since i was the genius if the idea you work out the details ? 400 hours you say? I'm sure it'll take 20 don't be silly now.1
I missed a day at work last month and since I'm still on probationary status without paid leaves, it was deducted from my salary. I don't keep track of my daily rate so I was surprised about how big it was. Every time I move to a different company, I just negotiate and shoot for the most amount of money I could get. I barely notice the actual amount since they immediately go to my investments so I have this illusion that I make "just enough".
It reminded me of some of my future plans related to improving mental health facilities and breaking toxic family cycles. I never forget them. I'm still from far it and there's no way I'll be selfless or dumb enough to put those goals first over my own generous retirement plans. But it put things into perspective.
One of the online communities I'm in is dedicated to people who work their ass off to provide for their parents, siblings, and other relatives. Retirement plans do not exist. Here, people treat their children as their retirement plans and lottery tickets. "Someday, one of you will pull us out of poverty." They get all these debts and responsibility before they were even born. Stressed out, couldn't live their own lives, couldn't start their own families unless they risk even more debt and perpetuating the cycle that contributes to never-ending poverty.
Why they do it even when it's clearly dumb, futile, and harmful to them? Well, that's abuse, isn't it? Being surrounded with people who do the same makes you think it's normal and the thought of breaking away is evil. They are constantly guilt-tripped by their own relatives. Manipulated, insulted, and yet they can't afford to move out or don't have the heart to leave their toxic family members behind. I'm sure this happens in other cultures too but it doesn't matter who had it worse, it simply has to stop.
I'm tired of seeing abuse everywhere I go and how rampant it has become that it's considered the norm and you are the devil for trying to break it. But having been demonized my whole life, I don't really mind being the devil here. It has become quite a compliment, really.
Yesterday, my cousin posted some garbage that says "While it's true that children should not be your retirement plan, I don't think it's too bad that your parents lean on you especially when they gave you everything they have to the point where they can't save up for retirement." Find the masked guilt-trip and contradiction in that statement. The same trick they pull on their own blood and flesh for generations. Not only are children retirement plans, they are education plans, calamity funds, etc.
The same parents wouldn't pay for all their children's basic needs, instead one of the siblings do all the work because he/she is just expected to do so. Sometimes they stop going to school altogether to work at an early age and provide for the family they didn't have the consent to be born into.
"Oldest child gets a job? Time for me to stop working at the old age of 40. Early retirement, am I right?"
What a shitty life.4
Aren't you, software engineer, ashamed of being employed by Apple? How can you work for a company that lives and shit on the heads of millions of fellow developers like a giant tech leech?
Assuming you can find a sounding excuse for yourself, pretending its market's fault and not your shitty greed that lets you work for a company with incredibly malicious product, sales, marketing and support policies, how can you not feel your coders-pride being melted under BILLIONS of complains for whatever shitty product you have delivered for them?
Be it a web service that runs on 1980 servers with still the same stack (cough cough itunesconnect, membercenter, bug tracker, etc etc etc etc) incompatible with vast majority of modern browsers around (google at least sticks a "beta" close to it for a few years, it could work for a few decades for you);
be it your historical incapacity to build web UI;
be it the complete lack of any resemblance of valid documentation and lets not even mention manuals (oh you say that the "status" variable is "the status of the object"? no shit sherlock, thank you and no, a wwdc video is not a manual, i don't wanna hear 3 hours of bullshit to know that stupid workaround to a stupid uikit api you designed) for any API you have developed;
be it the predatory tactics on smaller companies (yeah its capitalism baby, whatever) and bending 90 degrees with giants like Amazon;
be it the closeness (christ, even your bugtracker is closed and we had to come up with openradar to share problems that you would anyway ignore for decades);
be it a desktop ui api that is so old and unmaintained and so shitty, but so shitty, that you made that cancer of electron a de facto standard for mainstream software on macos;
be it a IDE that i am disgusted to even name, xcrap, that has literally millions of complains for the same millions of issues you dont even care to answer to or even less try to justify;
be it that you dont disclose your long term plans and then pretend us to production-test and workaround-fix your shitty non-production ready useless new OS features;
be it that a nervous breakdown on a stupid little guy on the other side of the planet that happens to have paid to you dozens of thousands of euros (in mandatory licences and hardware) to actually let you take an indecent cut out of his revenues cos there is no other choice in a monopoly regime, matter zero to you;
Assuming all of these and much more:
How can you sleep at night with all the screams of the devs you are exploiting whispering in you mind? Are all the money your earn worth?
** As someone already told you elsewhere, HAVE SOME FUCKING PRIDE, shitty people AND WRITE THE FUCKING DOCS AND FIX THE FUCKING BUGS you lazy motherfuckers, your are paid more than 99.99% of people on earth, move your fucking greasy little fingers on that fucking keyboard. **
PT2: why the fuck did you remove the ESC key from your shitty keyboards you fuckshits? is it cos autocomplete is slower than me searching the correct name of a function on stackoverflow and hence ESC key is useless? at least your hardware colleagues had the decency of admitting their error and rolling back some of the uncountable "questionable "hardware design choices (cough cough ...magic mouse... cough golden charging cables not compatible with your own devices.. cough )?16
"Bu...bu..but JAVA SWING and FX are PORTABLE!"
And electrolytes are what plants crave.
I swear half the people I argue with are dinks.
IF YOU HAVE PEOPLE YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU HAVE TO DO WORK PEOPLE WILL HIRE YOU FOR.
Under job listings for javafx: 2 listings within 200 miles of me.
Under job listings for C#/WPF: dozens and dozens of jobs.
Portability doesn't matter if you're broke.
My stomach owes no allegiance to "high fallutin" concepts such as openness, avoiding vendor lock in, or the high ideals of platform independence.
I'll take the microsoft gulag if it pays my bills.
I don't know whats so hard to grasp about this. Some people are completely divorced from reality.
Edit: Hello to all my peeps who I haven't talked with in a while. I hope everything is going swimmingly in your lives. May your beer forever be paid for by your employer and your code bug free!7
There has been a post today about the existence of too many js frameworks. Which reminds me of this awesome post https://hackernoon.com/how-it-feels...
At first I thought someone was corpseposting, as it is my understanding that the js ecosystem is calming down a bit. But then I noticed that post got almost 20 upvotes. So here's my thoughts:
(I'm not sure what I'm ranting about here, as it feels kinda broad after writing it. I think it's kinda valid anyhow.)
I'm ok with someone expressing frustration with js. But complaining about progress is definitely off to me.
How is too many frameworks a bad thing?
How does the variety and creation of more modern frameworks affect negatively developers?
Does it make it hard to understand each of these new frameworks?
Well, there's no need to. Just because it has a logo and some nice badges and says it will make you happy doesn't mean you should use it.
You just stick to the big boys in the ecosystem and you'll be fine for a while.
Does it make you feel compelled to migrate the stack of every project you did?
Well, don't. If you don't like being on the bleeding edge of js, then just stick to whatever you're using, as long as it's good code.
But if a lot of companies decided to migrate to react (among others frameworks), it's because they like the upsides: the code is faster to write, easier to test and more performant.
In general, I'm more understanding/empathic with beginner js programmers.
But I have for real heard experienced devs in real life complain about having to learn new frameworks, like they hate it.
"I just want to learn a single framework and just master it throughout my life" and I think they're lowering the bar.
There's people that for real expect occupying positions for life, make money, but never learn a new framework.
We hold other practitioners to high standards (like pilots or doctors), but for some reason, some programmers feel like they're ok with what they know for life.
As if they couldn't translate all they learned with one framework to another.
Meanwhile our lives are becoming more and more intertwined with technology and demand some pretty high standards. Standards that historically have not been met, according to thousands of people screaming to their devices screens.
Even though I think the "js can be frustrating" sentiment is valid, the statement 'too many js frameworks is bad' is not.
I think a statement like 'js frameworks can go obsolete very quickly' is more appropriate.
By saying too many js frameworks is a bad thing you're
1) Making a conspiracy theory as if js devs were working in tandem to make the ecosystem hard,
But people do whatever they want. Some create packages, others star/clone/use them.
2) Making a taboo out of a normal itch, creating.
"hey you're a libdev? just stop, ok? stop"
"Are you a creative person? Do you know a way to solve a problem in an easier way than some famous package? it doesn't matter, don't you dare creating a new package."
I'm not gonna say the js world is perfect. The js world is frantic, savage, evolves aggressively.
You could say that it (accidentally) gives the middle finger to end users, but you could also say that it just sets the bar higher.
I liked writing jquery code in the past, but at the same time I didn't like adding features/fixing bugs on it. It was painful.
So I'm fine with a better framework coming along after a few years and stealing their userbase, as it happens almost universally in the programming world, the difference with js is that the cycle is faster.
Even jquery's creator embraced React.
This post explains also
I didn’t posted for a while cause I didn’t have anything interesting to say. My job is fine, got no major problems in life, everything looks good so I started thinking about the fucking civilization future stuff.
Either I’m to old or we’ll end up back in ancient Egypt one day.
The knowledge is still not moved from old to young, not categorized and protected well enough and we’re busy fighting with each other about nothing important. We’re carrying about stuff that have nothing to do with our lives. All those fucking movements make world worse place then it was. Just marginalize those that are good and give more powers to those who shout more and have more money.
As a result I think in a matter of couple generations there won’t be anyone who could replace grandfathers keeping this machine alive and future people will end up looking at pictures and videos of ancient stuff that nobody is capable of doing cause nobody understands it.
This super friendly human politics of the world like any other politics will make people unfriendly and not able to communicate with each other - stupid and unable to think reasonably.
My advice I also took as a mantra, turn off the internet and read or listen to the books - at least one book a month is your goal.
My last book I listened to was about history of gender and you know what ? I learned that clown fish can change gender when it’s young. I learned more from listening to this book for 8 hours then from a year reading stupid articles in the internet. I understand what gender is, what are the problems and all the fucking history of it staring in 1800-something or maybe even earlier. Maybe because there is still lots of difficulty to write something interesting that is more than 1 page of paper long. Most of stuff in the internet weather it’s an article or video have only 1 page amount of content. This content is none, it have no value to the community. You won’t learn anything from it. If you want to learn something read book cause making good quality book is very expensive and takes lots of person life and self esteem. Probably one book takes more time then most of influencers spend making their stupid pictures and stuff like that.
That’s sad truth of our times. We turned technology made for knowledge exchange to advertising tv - again.1
Through life, I've heard some people say horror movies are bad, that they promote violence (usually religious people).
Of course I think that's pure bs, but I think I could provide one argument that is hard to deny, so here it goes, although I might go off rails at the end.
I'll preface with this: life itself is violent. Violence, the word, is mostly used to describe immoral inflictions of harm on other beings.
But you can also say that some deaths are violent by themselves too, event those that weren't caused by humans, like a disease or a natural disaster.
This would be the "visual" meaning of the word, "the way it looks", the shock of humans when observing something gruesome/violent.
That described, it's not hard to also think that technological advancements in modern western life has made such observations of violence very unfrequent for people.
And naturally, modern people get accustomed to the lack of these observations. So accustomed that when they happen they become traumatic.
Because of this, people react weirdly to death. One reaction is censoring the topic. Another reaction is trivializing it, as if it doesn't really matter.
Sometimes they can't even accept old people dying at 90, an awfully stupid reaction in my opinion.
Another interesting reaction is personifying diseases as if they were villains ruining lives intentionally.
Or at least that's what it feels until you look at them through a microscope and realize that diseases aren't more evil than bread changing flavour after toasting.
All of these irrationality and cowardice comes from low exposure to violence, and that's where horror movies balance things out.
Some diseases in the real life can put some of the worst horror movies to shame.
The human body itself is pending violence. Why? Because when you die all sort of worms eat your fucking flesh. And sometimes that happens even before you die.
We bury humans because of the diseases corpses transmit, but also because we don't like the spectacle and the aesthetics of the rotting process.
Just picture for a second bad things happening to your body, and if you feel that is making you too uncomfortable, then maybe you got too used to this too.
I think horror movies help us to remember the reality of our inminent and intrinsic violence.
In ancient times, you would live outdoors, stepping on dirt, and be very used to "bad" things happening to humans.
Nowadays, most homes are sterile clean, and it's unlikely to observe violence.
Oh, some family member is pucking blood and dying from something? Send em to a hospital, or an elderly care center. Don't need to witness that!
I understand and accept grief. What I don't understand or accept is the vilification of death, describing it as something wrong that shouldn't happen.
it almost feels like a burden, like you shouldn't die when you're young, that it's an unforgivable thing to happen.
Well thanks, society, you can't even fucking die in peace.
I would love to die (no suicide) in a mildly celebratory way, watching people around me smile. I think that would be a good ending for me.
But no. Most of my relatives would be fucking crying like the chickenshits they are, ruining it for me.
And that scares the shit out me: people usually say the scary part of dying is that they die alone.
Well that's what dying alone would mean to me: watching people cry instead of smiling at me.
When my grandma died at 80, with all the achievements she made, I considered her death a success, also considering how quick it was. And because of that I didn't mourn for too long.
In fact, I don't even consider her dead, and not because of some religious mumbo jumbo. I guess the memories are still alive in me, I don't know.
Some famous chunk of coal said once that he felt people don't believe they're gonna die. And I agree with him.
Another upside of horror movies is that they hurt nobody, which is why you can enjoy it and not get ptsd, unlink watching a snuff film.
I will also be fair and add that this might a be a cultural thing, but deep down desire for survival is a genetic thing could play a big part in this too.4
!!rant life toptags bottags
My tags seem to be okay. Let's go.
I'm 14. I live in a place where nobody smart lives, and the school I go to has no coders.
Last year, all my friends moved. The only friend I had left now hates me, simply because they yelled at me everyday and I yelled at them once.
I am in the middle of my exams. I also have the flu, but thankfully it's not the e-flu, otherwise you guys should prepare for 24/7 headaches.
Due to the medications I am taking, I'm half-asleep all the time, and I probably am messing up all of my grades.
My entire extended family is in India, and I go there 2 times a year. I miss them so much right now :(.
At the same as doing exams, I am trying to keep my laptop (primary) and PC (secondary, desk) configuration and setup approximately synchronized. In order to do that, I am setting up my dotfiles repository.
Except that all my laptop config (which works) is written horribly, and I need to rewrite it all.
At the same time, I have 3 other projects going on: An OS written in D, a source-based package management system written in D, a small website (not online), and a whatever's cooking in my mind at this moment.
Right now, I'm supposed to be studying for my French exam.
Instead, I'm here, typing this out on my phone.
I have a classmate in school who can type QWERTY at 80WPM. I'm learning Dvorak (Programmer's!) and my current speed is 33WPM, after about 2 months of half-hearted practise during work time and at school.
Sometimes, I look at the world we have here, and what we're doing to it, and I wish that sometimes we could simply be content with life. Let's just live, for once.
I find ~60 random songs in one go, simply by finding a song I know on YouTube and going to the 'Mix - <song>' playlist. I download them all (youtube-dl), and I listen to them. Sometimes, I find this little part in a song (Mackelmore & Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us beginning instrumentals, or Safe and Sound chorus instrumentals) that make me feel so happy I feel like all's good in the world. Then the song moves on and with it, my happiness.
I look at Wayland, and X, and I think - Why can't we have one way of doing things - a fixed interface to express anything, so that one common API exists for everything of that type? And I realise it's because they feel that they're missing something from the others. Perhaps it's a bug nobody's solved or functionality that's missing, and they think that they can do better than that. And I think - Well, that's stupid. Submit a fucking bug report or pull request instead of reinventing the wheel. And then I realise that all the programming I've ever done in my life IS simply reinventing the wheel. And some might say, "Well, that guy designed it with spokes and wood. I designed it with rubber and steel," but that doesn't work, because no matter what how you make it, it's just a wheel. They both do the same thing. Both have advantages and disadvantages, because nothing's perfect. We're not perfect because we all have agendas and wants and likes and dislikes and hates and disgusts and all kinds of other crap, and our DNA's not perfect because it manages to corrupt copy operations (which is basically why we die of old age, I think).
And now I've lost my train of thought and this is too large to scroll over so I'm just going to move on to the next topic. At this point (.), I have 1633 letters left.
I hate the fact that the world's become so used to QWERTY because of stuff that happened 100 years ago that Dvorak is enough of a security to stop most people from being able to physically use my laptop.
I don't understand why huge companies like Google want to know about me. What would you do with this information? Know how to take over my stuff when the corporation-opocalypse comes around? Why can't they leave me alone? Why do I have to flash a ROM onto my phone so that Google cannot track me? What do you want, Google?
I don't give a shit any more, so there's my megarant.
Before anybody else (aside from myself) tells me that this is too big, all these topics are related simply because my train of thought went this way. There's a connection between each of these things, but I just don't know what it is.
Goodnight, world. 666 is the number of characters I have left. So is 42, for that matter (thanks, Douglas Adams!). Goodbye.4
No matter if you understand all the medical terms, you need to read this. It is amazing.
Just some more thoughts on Life and money, a spiritual sequel to my previous rant on money:https://devrant.com/rants/2854425/...
Based on thoughts from other people and my own experiences, I have made this pyramid(Please point me to stuff like this, if you have already seen one)
I will call it as "Goals of a general Human". Say if you have suddenly born into the world fully naked onto a street with a 21 year old body( in other words fully independent and without relations) , then i guess this would be your goal to live your next 60-80 years:
0. The zeroth point to note is that this pyramid runs on money. Their is no way a person could create even the bottommost level without money. Weather you earn it by yourself , someone else give it to you or you take it forcefully, everything could be just achieved by money.
1. The first thing for any human is to achieve the minimum requirements of living : food , clothes, shelter and education.
I often feel everyone should be definitely getting this, but sadly the biggest competition to struggle for life is seen in this level.
2. the 2nd comes equally as soon as the first gets filled: The need to get safety and health for ourselves. People are forced to live in pollution filled areas, near garbage or eating unhealthy food. Personally if i have made sure that i have clothes to wear, food to eat and a shelter above, i can only then make sure if the plate i am eating is clean, the cloth i am wearing is untainted and the place i am living is without any open sewer. Other than that.
3. The next comes the investments. People invest , keep their money in banks, buy lands and properties so as to have some money in case their daily life got disrupted, but more so for future needs.
4. The next comes the luxury. The Usually the people will put luxuries at par with basic needs . Personally.
5. The final stage is the power. Its a situation when you have a hell lot of money: you are no longer worried about the basic needs, quality of life, future needs, you can have the luxury as much as you want and yet you still have the money. At this stage you are powerful. Not just because you have a particular amount of money, but because for you, so much money is coming in "You can have whatever you want".
And that's where you get the definition of power : To be able to do what you want, without someone stopping you or without someone's help . You want a helipad in your home? done. You want to become the president of US? Done.
The power is so sweet to have that it eventually becomes a cockfight. Once you are the biggest in town, you want to continue working on it to remain the biggest. That's why i didn't capped the power triangle
I am often conflicted about what i really want. I do not desire the power. The definition of power is self centric, but its just not following the conventional system: If you want something you can achieve it no matter the impact on other people.
So do you really want to be that god like personna who could have anything without thinking about the impact? I am pretty sure that since money is so much intermingled with our lives , that if jeff bezos wants to get something done, without considering the society, it would definetly be harming someone on this planet.
Thus the "consideration" clause is very important at this level which could either make you the god or villain. I do not find myself in either of those shoes .
I am not sure if anyone has the right to be powerful. Every discussion that i could think of will result in someone coming out as villain or vcitim because of power. As @Fast-Nop pointed out in my previous post, having the ability to get what we want is not always highly impactful (Sorry for pointing you out, Fast-Nop). For eg, a sick rich family could get their loved ones treated faster through backdoors and other sources using money. but again, others got their life served through fate while the rich secured their life through money(welp, 2Large is suddenly the villain. Again, don't wanna go into that debate. I am just looking for a meaning of life)
I do not desire the luxuries (level 4). I *demand* for the basic necessities and health and safety. I wish to live in a world where i do not think of securing my future. Am I born in the wrong century or do i need to get a better mindset?18
Well. I'm stressed and a bit sick so let me tell you this you fuckers: I don't want to play in your little mindfucking game where everything is about efficiency, money and who has the biggest dick around.
Usually I'm the idealistic, positive kind of guy who spreads love and lets people do their things as long as they just don't fuck with him.
Right now though, just go fuck yourself in your damn stupid car you fancy fucker because I don't care about your big dick you have to show off on every occasion. I don't give a fuck about your big paycheck or your smart ass. I'm so sick of this industry mouse wheel and modern slavery where it is made extra hard to enjoy our lives and unfold who we really wanna be because some stupid asshead is not able to fill his hollow emptiness with bare love but has to swallow loads of cash instead giving him the craziest form of diarrhea.
Com'on! We kind of tamed the planet. We put so much effort and created a huge system with so many securities and still we are not able to simply live freely, share love, opinions and great ideas. Why is it still so common to define yourself about your projects, paycheck and false effort? Instead of how much good you give to others, how self-consistent you are, how good you treat yourself?
All I want from you is a bit honesty to yourself. How about being nicer to yourself, letting your love unfold for the sake of releasing that love to the world?
For me you will be a hero!
I believe that the personal happiness is influenced not only by your surroundings but mostly how you interact with it. Karma basically. So yeah, normally I'd say you can simply decide to ignore that shit, walk on your path and decide to be what you want to be no matter what dickheads cross your path, but honestly I just had to get that rant out because this ridiculous nonsense makes me so sick right now.
I'm successful right now. I have the privilege to decide on being happy and I know that not everyone has this privilege. I believe, spreading love will also spread this privilege.
That said, have a nice day!4
With the current economy in its rocky state, it is no surprise that firing levels have reached new highs in the world. According to a recent study conducted in the UK, former managers and workers who lost their lifelong jobs were able to get past their problems simply by keeping a positive attitude in mind. The theory of “mind over matter” is more applicable here than it is in many other situations as workers strive to get back a life they once had. If you have recently lost your job, you may want to focus on getting your spirits up, for instance, you can ask for help with resume writing services such as this one https://resumebros.com/, rather than spiraling into depression. By separating yourself from your former life, you may be able to see better success.
This study was published in “Organization Studies,” a journal that circulates in the UK. Researchers found that people who were able to see their job loss as a new start in life were much more capable of moving on and seeing success again. These patients viewed the change as a way to become self-employed or an excuse to volunteer and better their lives. Taking on a positive step led them to a reduced amount of trauma when compared to those that dwelled on the job loss.
The study consisted of men and women between the ages of 49 and 62 who were once senior workers in their industries with highly successful careers before them. I realize that most of the people reading this will be younger than that, but the theories from the study can resonate in any age group. The men and women in the study all suffered devastation after being laid off, and they coped with that devastation in different ways. Those that were able to separate themselves from their old jobs found it much easier to separate themselves from the pain of the loss.
All of these participants were enrolled in a program for older managers that recently encountered unemployment. The program was government funded and designed to allow out of work individuals to pick up with their lives and start again. The participants that were least successful with the program were the ones that saw their job loss as the end of their working time altogether, as if it was going to be the sole destruction of their lives. They did not handle emergency management well. Their negative attitudes forced them to cope worse than the positive attitudes of other participants.
As a whole, the study aimed to show that coaching, over the course of time, can help unemployed men and women find ways to get past their financial stumbles and get back into the work force again. Those who are willing to embrace the coaching can find themselves back into a state of financial success much faster than those who wallow in their situation. As long as these individuals can see themselves as capable, driven, and intelligent people who happen to be unemployed, they are usually able to make it back to where they need to be in life.
You can apply all of this to your own life and your path toward the future. If you lose a job that you assumed would help you after graduation, move on to something else. You may end up in a better place in the end. I recently lost a huge client of mine that paid me roughly $4,000 a month. I was devastated and a little panic stricken after the loss, but that allowed me to apply for new work with new clients. I now make twice the money from about half the work, all because I wasn’t reaching out to all my opportunities in the past. You may experience the same revelation if you keep a positive attitude.
Shit thoughts and self conflicts.
The typical middle class scenario : grab whatever opportunity that comes and delay decision making for anything that's not immediately affecting you , as long as you can. Anyone relate with me one this?
My last 7 months have been gone a little less stressful just because i was able to score an offer letter from India's biggest service based MNC. Yeah sure, the salary they would have given would be less than $400 per month , but working in a company employing 400k employees and later reaching to heights there would be so awesome
They did publically said they would be rolling out joining letters for their fresh recruits later in the year, they won't be backing out on the lives of 40k people. And they didn't they are really rolling out those letters and i got one.
But i hat to stay jobless for 6months because of this. Why couldn't they generate employment much earlier when our families were going out of business?
At that time i had to go work in different domains to get some cash inflow.
Now , as i read their email, which gives a date of around 10 days... I am again torn at the thoughts that i had 4 months ago .. should i be joining this big ass firm where people claim to have entered and stayed their entire lives, rising and gaining more authority? The pesudo government like job,where work is less but pressure of work is a lot
Or should i keep doing my job in this startup, where i am working in the domain that i love, getting the cash that satisfies me and have a relaxed environment where everyone is willing to help ? Startups feel like the way to go, but those big firms are so lustrous while these small teams feel like they are gonna kick my ass out the moment they are at loss
I guess i would not be leaving my startup job for those big company dreams. Someday i hope to reach into a company that's doing something good at a scale , no matter their own size . But doing something i like is also equally important , I don't wanna be putting data into excel sheet when i could make helpful software , just because the former has a job security
Damn... Job life is risky1