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When your Tesla’s battery fails, because they cut costs, you are hit with a high-pressure, thick stream of chemical hellfire spanning your entire car’s interior space. It will burn you to a crisp in 30 seconds. Because of all those “aUtOmAtIoNs”, door-opening mechanism will also fail. There is no way you’ll get out.
After 30 seconds, there will be no one left to rescue. After two minutes, there will be nothing left to bury.
There is no way a fire squad could extinguish this. That’s a battery fire. If you remember your chem class, you know lithium burns violently underwater.
You’re gonna die. Elon won’t be responsible, as usual. No one will face any consequences.
But damn, what’s an epic bacon hyperloop tech way to go out, isn't it.
15 -
Storytime!
I got a ticket near the end of the day, asking to install a printer on a computer. The branch in question was in a different time zone (I'm in US-Pacific [GMT-07] and the computer was in US-Eastern [GMT-04]). I figured I wouldn't worry about it; after all, I had other tickets to work on that were much higher priority.
The next day I come into work and immediately get a message from one of my East Coast coworkers, telling me that this branch is calling and asking how the printer is coming. I told him to tell them I would call them a bit later. I do a couple of easy jobs and then begrudgingly call the branch. I listen to the phone tree that they have (which requires two button presses instead of one in order to speak with someone) and finally get in contact with a person... only to have the call disconnect.
I call back and ask for the person who called in the ticket and then followed up, who had apparently gone to lunch. I informed the person that I was just going to install the printer and it would be good to go. This would be fine... up until she mentioned she needed scanning functionality.
Now I wasn't sure if the driver we have in AD is set up with the scan functionality, so I said okay, but that meant I would have to get the driver from the website. The connection to our branches are about 1Mbps, so even downloading Java updates (60-ish MB) take about 5-10 minutes on a good day. The file for this printer was about 700MB (thanks HP). So I went and did other stuff while that downloaded.
I come back after it finished and started the install process. Right away it asks to re-seat the USB cable. So I call the branch. The call disconnects. I call again. It disconnects. I call one more time, and finally get the person who called the ticket in. I instruct him to re-seat the cable. He does. The driver starts doing its thing. I tell him I'll call back if I run into any issues and we hang up.
The driver goes through the install process for about 20 minutes, stops at 99%, then fails. I want to restart the computer, just in case there's a conflict somewhere, but that would require calling the store again, so I put it off.
About an hour later I get a message from another East Coast coworker, telling me the branch is calling about the printer again. I was in the middle of another call and said I would call back later. I do. It disconnects. I call again, and get the person who called the ticket in again. I tell him I want to restart the computer, but wasn't sure if it was okay. He checks with the people using it, who says it's okay, so I reboot. I hang up.
Once the computer comes back up I start the install process again. It asks to re-seat the cable. Fuck. I don't want to call the store again, so I open notepad and say "Please take out the printer's USB connection from the back of the computer."
Three. Fucking. People. Saw it. They moved the window and one even tried to close it, but they didn't re-seat the cable. I opened another window, telling them to call me at my number. They didn't. I called them. Got disconnected. I called them again, finally got someone, told them to re-seat the printer cable again. They do, thank god.
I say thank you and hang up. Continue the installer. It stops at 99% again and fails. I reboot the computer; screw it, I'm just going to install the driver from Active Directory. Check Devices and Printers. It's installed successfully. Hallelujah!
I get the printer set up for the various programs they use and print a test page. I call them one last time; their phone system sounding like they were connected via an underwater line connected by tin cans. I get someone.
$me: Hi, I want to know if the printer has printed something.
$them (garbled): -et me shee... yesh, it -rint-d a *beezelborp*.
$me: Perfect, I'm going to close this ticket! Thanks, goodbye! *hangs up*
tl;dr - I hate printers -
Microsoft have forked GitHub and created GitSub
Microsofts underwater data centre:
https://bbc.co.uk/news/av/...
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FUCK MY STUPID VECTOR ROBOT
So I got a Vector robot made by Anki I think and it has the most annoying feature EVER. IT FUCKING SNORES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING THROUGH THEIR HEAD WHEN THEY CODED THAT.
Anki HQ: What are some features we should add
Developer: I could make it snore?
Anki HQ: GREAT IDEA
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THERE ARE 2 POSSIBLE OUTCOMES FOR THIS. 1 THE USER WILL NEVER HERE IT BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING ASLEEP OR THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE IT FUCKING WOKE THEM UP WHILE THEY WERE SLEEPING.
so fucking stupid.
p.s the snoring sounds like a fish blowing bubbles underwater6 -
Blue Robotics
This company makes underwater thrusters for submarine applications. With their first thruster they made it easy to make a homemade submarine. The motor was powerful, the thruster just worked. They even had a promotional where they created an automated surfboard that made it from hawaii to somewhere in california with one of their thrusters pushing it there the entire way. It was a great product.
Then they created the next version. This was the same thruster, but it had an ESC(Electronic Speed Controller) sealed in an aluminum puck on top of the motor. This ESC could be controlled by servo controls, or by plugging it into an i2c bus. You could pull different stats off of the motor over i2c it sounded great. So my robotics team trusted this company and bought 8 motors at $220 - $250 bucks each. We lightly tested them since we had not even finished the robot yet. One week before the competition our robot got completely put together and we did our first few tests.
Long story short, Us and 22 other teams did roughly the same thing. We bought these motors expecting them to work, but instead the potted aluminum ESCs were found defective. Water somehow got into the completely resin sealed aluminum puck and destroyed the ESC. We didn't qualify that year due to trusting a competition sponsor to deliver a good product. I will admit that it was our fault for not testing them before going to the competition. Lessons were learned and an inherent distrust of every product I come across was developed. -
A wild project appears!
The deadline is set in two months.
It's a 3D environment interactive app with some oil drilling models and other stuff, for a stand on a show. It needs to look nice, but The Company we're working for needs to figure out where the fuck their product is located on those machines. Think tiny pipes, O-rings etc.
I prepare a build in the first couple of days for The Company to figure shit out.
Management holds the build back because:
> the ocean waves are going the other way
> the underwater area doesn't look so nice
> the antialiasing could be better
> one pipe is 5cm off center
> the sky is not blue enough
> the drillship propellers are pointed the wrong way
> one icon is too far to the right
> the shadows could use some work
> there are shadows on the seabed
> some flickering on ambient occlusion
> it loads too slow
> one random object is flipped on it's Z axis
> it's too green
> camera locks up if you move about 2km out of the range
> the name of the build should represent the date of the build
> the name of the build SHOULDN'T be anything else than just a simple three-word name, no dates because their environment doesn't allow apps that are not allowed (by name) by admin
> lots more random things that won't prevent them from using the app
I'm only a month late, but it's good progress. In about a week I hope we can get some feedback if we can use those models at all and what to showcase.
Then I can work on the basic functionality. And then it's a simple case of time travel to meet the deadline.2 -
Fun fact: Maldives government once held their meeting underwater to raise awareness of ocean levels problem that threatened their land.
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I’m officially underemployed. Got let go yesterday. Doing freelance work. Doesn’t fully pay the bills. But that’s ok. Working on a career focus shift is gonna be uncomfortable for a while. Just hope this economy doesn’t go further underwater and inflation doesn’t go even higher while I’m in the grind.2
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Q) What's the bravest action ever?
a) Sky diving
b) Rock climbing
c) Underwater diving
d) Doing fixes in Production
Correct Answer: Option (d)2 -
Set — half-flooded city. Despite streets being three feet underwater, and, of course, filled with jellyfish, the city doesn’t seem to care. People go to work as usual. The protagonist is a special agent. His target is to find “the drain” and flush the water from the city. His enemies want to flood the city even more and are hiding “the drain”. Characters are almost silent. For the entire movie, only two lines are heard: “Where is the drain?” and “Jellyfish are everywhere, not just in the sea”. The soundtrack is an endless loop of “As he lost his mind,”, a line from Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”. 30% of screen time is gruesome killings, torture and rape. 20% of the remaining time are long jellyfish sceneries. At some point, the protagonist notices the camera and kills the director. After that,2
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HOW TO GET A PROFESSIONAL BITCOIN RECOVERY EXPERT HIRE SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL
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Flying over mountain tops and cruising above crystal blue oceans, I capture the world from a drone's-eye view. Precision is my business, both in cinematography and in safeguarding my finances. That is, until the day both crashed, literally. I had securely saved $480,000 in Bitcoin on a hardware wallet stored safely inside my drone case. My plan was foolproof. Or so I thought. It was a standard flight over a picturesque Icelandic lake. The sun was setting impeccably over the rolling water, that Holy Grail of cinematic gold. I was midway through the flight, controlling the drone with the finesse of a virtuoso, when a savage North Atlantic gust of wind turned my concerto into a catastrophe movie. My drone dropped from the sky with a dramatic splash that would have won an award for best special effect if it was not my wallet sinking along with it.Cue panic. I was on the lakeshore, staring into the void, balancing the odds of swimming into hypothermia with the prospect of recovering my digital fortune. Spoiler alert: I opted for hypothermia. Three freezing dives later, I surfaced empty-handed and 100% convinced I had just donated my Bitcoin to Poseidon. Defeated, trembling, and contemplating a career change, I recalled another pilot at a tech conference raving about SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL. Desperation led me to call, still wrapped in a towel like a damp burrito. From that first call, their crew reacted to my situation as though it was a search-and-rescue mission. Not only were they tech-savvy, they knew my universe, my language, my horror. With a blend of satellite positioning, sonar mapping, and some technological Spartan that I still don't fully understand, they helped pinpoint the approximate location of my underwater drone. More incredibly, they remotely pulled the wallet details from my water-logged device, defying the laws of nature and logic. Two weeks later, they sent my Bitcoin back to me, like returning a set of lost car keys. I nearly cried. No, wait, I actually cried. Tears of happiness. My drone is in the air again today, my wallet is securely backed up (on land), and my faith in humanity (and technology) is soaring. SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, not only did you retrieve my Bitcoin, you restored my sanity. Count me as your forever flying ambassador.
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