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Search - "viking"
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This is kind of a horror story, with a happing ending. It contains a lot of gore images, and some porn. Very long story.
TL;DR Network upgrade
Once upon a time, there were two companies HA and HP, both owned by HC. Many years went by and the two companies worked along side each one another, but sometimes there were trouble, because they weren't sure who was supposed to bill the client for projects HA and HP had worked on together.
At HA there was an IT guy, an imbecile of such. He's very slow at doing his job, doesn't exactly understand what he's doing, nor security principles.
The IT guy at HA also did some IT work for HP from time to time when needed. But he was not in charge of the infrastructure for HP, that was the jobb for one developer who didn't really know what he was doing either.
Whenever a new server was set up at HP, the developer tried many solutions, until he landed on one, but he never removed the other tested solutions, and the config is scattered all around. And no documentation!!
Same goes with network, when something new was added, the old was never removed or reconfigured to something else.
One dark winter, a knight arrived at HP. He had many skills. Networking, server management, development, design and generally a fucking awesome viking.
This genius would often try to cleanse the network and servers, and begged his boss to let him buy new equipment to replace the old, to no prevail.
Whenever he would look in the server room, he would get shivers down his back.
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/Ie9x3YC33C.j...)
One and a half year later, the powerful owners in HA, HP and HC decided it was finally time to merge HA and HP together to HS. The knight thought this was his moment, he should ask CEO if he could be in charge of migrating the network, and do a complete overhault so they could get 1Gb interwebz speeds.
The knight had to come up with a plan and some price estimates, as the IT guy also would do this.
The IT guy proposed his solution, a Sonicwall gateway to 22 000 NOK, and using a 3rd party company to manage it for 3000 NOK/month.
"This is absurd", said the knight to the CEO and CXO, "I can come up with a better solution that is a complete upgrade. And it will be super easy to manage."
The CEO and CXO gave the knight a thumbs up. The race was on. We're moving in 2 months, I got to have the equipment by then, so I need a plan by the end of the week.
He roamed the wide internet, looked at many solutions, and ended up with going for Ubiquiti's Unifi series. Cheap, reliable and pretty nice to look at.
The CXO had mentioned the WiFi at HA was pretty bad, as there was WLAN for each meeting room, and one for the desks, so the phone would constantly jump between networks.
So the knight ended up with this solution:
2x Unifi Securtiy Gateway Pro 4
2x Unifi 48port
1x Unifi 10G 16port
5x Unifi AP-AC-Lite
12x pairs of 10G unifi fibre modules
All with a price tag around the one Sonicwall for 22 000 NOK, not including patch cables, POE injectors and fibre cables.
The knight presented this to the CXO, whom is not very fond of the IT guy, and the CXO thought this was a great solution.
But the IT guy had to have a say at this too, so he was sent the solution and had 2 weeks to dispute the soltion.
Time went by, CXO started to get tired of the waiting, so he called in a meeting with the knight and the IT guy, this was the IT guys chance to dispute the solution.
All he had to say was he was familiar with the Sonicwall solution, and having a 3rd party company managing it is great.
He was given another 2 weeks to dispute the solution, yet nothing happened.
The CXO gave the thumbs up, and the knight orders the equipment.
At this time, the knight asks the IT guy for access to the server room at HA, and a key (which would take 2 months to get sorted, because IT guys is a slow imbecile)
The horrors, Oh the horrors, the knight had never seen anything like this before.
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/HfptwEh9qT.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/HfptwEh9qT.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/hmOE2ZuQuE.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/4Flmkx6slQ.j...)
What are all these for, why is there a fan ductaped to on of the servers.
WHAT IS THIS!
Why are there cables tied in a knot.
WHY!
These are questions we never will know the answers too.
The knight needs access to the servers, and sonicwall to see how this is configured.
After 1.5 month he gains access to the sonicwall and one of the xserve.
What the knight discovers baffles him.
All ports are open, sonicwall is basically in bridge mode and handing out public IPs to every device connected to it.
No VLANs, everything, just open...10 -
Picking up my kid in kindergarten, they asked if I had time to help fix the manager's computer. Internet wasn't working, at had been on the phone with support for 4 hours. I accepted the challenge, open prompt and typed "ipconfig /renew". Done. I walked out a rockstar.2
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Headphones ON ears means DON'T disturb unless it's important.
Talking about the chance of rain is not f*ing important. Especially when it's the 10th effin time I'm interrupted by nonsense officetalk in one hour!6 -
Great day! Resigned my job, signed my new job AND the stickers arrived! Thanks a bunch for making my day even greater than it was :) @dfox3
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Not an office prank, but still makes me laugh..
When my oldest daughter was about 8 months, she loved slapping the keyboard on my wife's laptop. More times than I can count with my hands I received a phone call from her asking how to rotate the screen back from upside-down.
Pwned by a baby3 -
Have people using React actually read the license agreement? Basically, if Facebook want your app, they can develop a similar, and revoke your license to React...14
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From a design meeting yesterday:
MyBoss: "The estimate hours seem low for a project of this size. Is everything accounted for?"
WebDev1: "Yes, we feel everything for the web site is accounted for."
-- ding ding...my spidey sense goes off
Me: "What about merchandising?"
MerchDevMgr: "Our estimate pushed the hours over what the stakeholders wanted to spend. Web department nixed it to get the proposal approved."
MyBoss: "WTF!? How the hell can this project go anywhere without merchandising entering the data!?"
WebDev2: "Its fine. We'll just get the data from merchandising and enter it by hand. It will only be temporary"
Me: "Temporary for who? Are you expecting developers to validate and maintain data?"
WebDev1: "It won't be a big deal."
MyBoss: "Yes it is! When the data is wrong, who are they going to blame!?"
WebDev1: "Oh, we didn't really think of that."
MerchDevMgr: "I did, but the CEO really wants this project completed, but the Web VPs would only accept half the hours estimated."
Me: "Then you don't do it. Period. Its better to do it right the first time than half-ass. How do think the CEO will react to finding out developers are responsible for the data entry?"
MerchDevMgr: "He would be pissed."
MyBoss: "I'm not signing off on this design. You can proceed without my approval., but I'll make a note on the document as to why. If you talk to Eric and Tom about the long term implications, they'll listen. At the end of the day, the MerchVPs are responsible to the CEO."
WebDev1: "OK, great. Now, the database, it should be SQLServer ..."
I checked out after that...daydreamed I was a viking.1 -
Going through code left by a senior developer who quit.. Dated 2015..
public static T IfThenElse<T>(bool isTrue, T ifYes, T ifNo)
{
if(isTrue) { return ifNo ; }
else if(!isTrue) { return ifNo ;}
Debugger.Break();
throw new Exception("") ;
}
.....
There was a unit test for it well
....
............. Wow, just wow9 -
Dear recruiter.. When calling me, better know what fucking city I live in before wasting my time..2
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Assigned to a new project team..
Using git, in a creative way. So.. "master" is "dev" branch, usually. Everyone can push their branch to dev server .. so it's "dynamic for us". Production branch is whatever, as long as the branch has the release version. Sometimes, the release comes from "master".. that mean "dev" in normal geek..
That's just Git. The source code is a saturated spagetti of Entity framework and Caliburn. It is littered with antipatterns, especially basebean. Holy Christmas and Easter that baseclass do a lot of stuff that has no place as a base class ..
Fucking frameworks, I'm gonna start to evangelize frameworks as the no1 antipattern.
MS SQL as the main DB, but is dumped to json FILES through a scheduled task to increase read performance on web.
There is a soap endpoint to expose the json files, fml..
I am assuming I was placed here to improve stuff, I have never in my life seen anything like this before.
There is a special place in hell for this repository7 -
I went on vacation in Norway. And it's mandatory to visit viking ship museum if you are in Oslo. At the of the exhibition I came to souvenir shop. AND WHAT I SAW WAS MAGNIFICENT!
There was whole army of ruber duck vikings.
I thought of buying one but I didn't have a heart to replace my police officer McDucky.1 -
What is with the +1 chasing in here? Votes should be given for good rants and comments, not to climb the count-ladder if that somehow would make you elite community member. Posting a picture you found elsewhere just to earn free stickers or a stress ball, and pollute the incentive the swag were meant for originally.
Stop mass +1'ing some random guys every comment, and earn the votes by contributing with stories, lessons learned, proper rants and supportive comments.5 -
#prank
New guy on the team, learning WPF.
He forgot to lock his computer when fetching coffee. I added a transform group in the main window and checked it in to Git. Locked the computer.
He comes back, furious at his computer for turning the application upside down.
Next two hours he was rebooting, flipping the screen, stressing, googling until I finally had to confess.
He uttered a strange sound of short burst of laughter concealed in a relief of not going insane.
It was a good day.
His pull request was rejected.2 -
As a consultant, you get tasked with a variety of stuff. Last few weeks been struggling to maintain an old C++ application that was written by a complete tool of an a$$hole with zero knowledge on how to write maintainable and production quality code. It would hardly run without a crash. First it was a challenge I had to accept, but as I stabilized the code and just fell over even more traps, I had to admit defeat and review my approach.
Rewrite is something I would choose last, but this one ticked all the marks worthy of a rewrite. So, the customer is a very friendly researcher and gladly spent 15 hours with me explaining all the math and concepts - just a delight for a programmer to have such a customer. Two days in, with a DDD approach - a functional, more precise, faster and stable application.
Sometimes there is no rant to share, it's rare to have that perfect communication with a customer that is so dedicated that he spends so much time teaching you his speciality and actually understand your approach. DDD was really a lifesaver here, by using it's key concepts and ubiquitous language. The program is essentially 8000 lines of math, but wrapping it up with value objects and strong domain models made me understand his domain and him mine. It also allowed me to parallelize the computations, giving me a huge performance boost. Textbook approach, there will not be many like this!4 -
Sunday afternoon extra work..
New guy: what do you do?
Me: backend, mainly
New guy: c#?
Me: yeah, but not just..
New guy: so you're good at it?
Me: I'm a fucking proctologist
Awkward silence, followed by nerdy giggling -
The last software I worked on in my previous company (a few months back), was a temporary replacement because they were switching techs. It was meant to be replaced within 2 years.
So, before I left, I added a kill. 2 years and 2 months into the future. First it spams the devs with emails "how is the tech upgrade going?" with no further clues. 6 months later it will start throwing random exceptions at random intervals. 6 months after that it just terminates the application immediately upon startup. Snuck it in between large commits, and since they stopped code reviews when I left, doubt they found it.
There is a setting in configuration with an obscure name to disable it all.
I marked the dates in my calendar. Would love to be a fly on the wall then.3 -
Full stack developer.
I know what it's supposed to mean, but I feel like it gives discredit to the devs who perfect their area (frontend, backend, db, infrastructure). It's, to me, like calling myself a chef because I can cook dinner..
The depth, analysis and customization of the domain to shape an api to a website is never appreciated. The finicle tweaks on the frontend to make those final touches. Then comes a brat who say they are full stack, and can do all those things. Bullshit. 99.9% of them have never done anything but move data through layers and present it.
Throw these wannabes an enterprise system with monoliths and microservices willy nelly, orchestrate that shit with a vertical slice nginx ssi with disaster recovery, horizontal scaling, domain modeling, version management, a busy little bus and events flowing all decimal points of 2pi. Then, if you fully master everything going on there, I believe you are full stack.
Otherwise you just scraped the surface of what complexities software development is about. Everyone who can read a tutorial can scrape together an "in-out" website. But if your db is looking the same as your api, your highest complexity is the alignment of an infobox, I will laugh loud at your full stack.
And if you told me in an interview that you are full stack, you'd better have 10+ years experience and a good list of failed and successful projects before I'd let you stay the next two minutes..1 -
Siemens Step7 code block protection (PLC's).. It was designed to lock code that you don't want others to be able to read. All blocks are in a dbf file, so you just need to find the block record and uncomment one line, voila - source code available.
Given the massive use of Siemens PLC's on plants all over the world, and the simplicity of hacking via S7 protocol, usually Internet connected, it's a breeze to steal or modify the controllers code with possible critical implications.
Enter Stuxnet.1 -
No. No. No.
We are NOT rewriting the software from scratch.
Why are people so keen on rewriting? Have they no experience??10 -
With limited Internet in 92 :P I read magazines and did line by line from the books. From Atari 520 ST, to vb6, then into PHP, C++ and C#, it's fully been a ride of self learning.
I envy the new generation with the massive amount of online learning sites. At age 36, been programming since I was 12. What an advantage young kids have today!1 -
I find Nordic/Viking music very calming and I'm able to focus better. Basically, I'm more productive when I'm listening to such music.2
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My email is just as valid if there is a whitespace at the end of it as if there wasn't.. ffs, just add a trim!
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To get into the zone I need 5 minutes to focus, think and lay out a plan. Need a clear schedule the next 4 hours, minimum. Clean desk, headset on, water refilled and a fresh coffee. Away we go.
10 minutes later someone taps me on my shoulder .. fuck!! Every damn time1 -
-Dream with code.
-Compulsion to start coding every no profitable projects that I imagine.
-Buy a lot of programming books.
-Want to have the source code of my favorite DOS games.
-Hate business people.
-Love language wars like a viking.
-Love terminals.
-Hate GUIs.
-Hate printers
-Hate every non programmers.
-Hate
-Hate3 -
My wife asked me if I get bored reading and writing "in code" all day, when I could just read and write normal English.3
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"we're gonna start doing WordPress for a lot more customers, to deliver faster. Not debatable. "
Fuck that shit, I'm off to another employer.3 -
Got through an entire day at work with just a "good morning" and "have a good weekend". Team was focused today - it was a good day!
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REST apis. More than you think it is.
Just because you can access a resource by a uri, doesn't mean you have a good api.
Hypermedia that shit and let websites reuse your links from api responses, then we are getting somewhere.
Also, Fucking api versioning.. Learned the hard way that /v1/ doesn't mean Shit in most cases -
A long struggle to change a nazi enforced scrum methodology that cut our efficency, technical standard and dedication to the product by just working on fragmented features that were added and removed by the wim of the PM.
Job offer in hand as senior dev somewhere else, I stayed, got better eventually. My old boss kept complaining on me for years in performance reviews that I did not respect managements decisions.
Two years of badly led scrum regime left our product in a spagetti mess that is still trying to be untangled.
Til this day, if I hear someone mutter "scrum", I feel a strong need to run far far away.6 -
1st. Put my Razor Blackshark Aviator headset on. Noise cancellation the low-tech way with full earcups.
2nd. I go on music genre binges for weeks at a time. Lately I've been listening to Viking inspired Dark Folk music like Wardruna, Fejd, Corvus Corax, and Forndom. That came after I did a month of proto rock n roll blues from the southern United States like Leadbelly, Blind Willie Johnson, and Mississippi John Hurt. I also drop some liquid DnB on a bender here and there.
3rd. I set up Hyper.is terminal to use the power plugin that makes sparks fly off of each keystroke.
4th. I set up Atom to work similarly with a continuous code counter that keeps a score of how long and fast you type continuously when coding. It also throws sparks off of the cursor as you type.
5th. Pop my neck and fingers and geterdun.2 -
!rant
Had a dyslexic girl on my team doing Javascript for a few weeks, it was brutal to see her struggle with finding the errors the typing caused and even point them out to her when helping. She eventually quit our team and joined a Java team.
Anyone here with dyslexia doing programming? What language and what is your greatest challenges compared to your colleagues apart from the obvious?6 -
My company wanted to move old desktop applications to web and use angularJS. Finally, "new" tech. Not allowed to use node and Mongo because maybe someone who joins the Web team don't know Javascript and only sql experience ... Time to dust off my CV1
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Imagine writing CSS in JS like some barbaric viking.
*This post was made by CSS in its own file gang1 -
If AI steal all dev jobs, it's probably already taken pretty much all other jobs too. So I guess we will all live work-free, with robots doing all the stuff and we get to enjoy life4
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i am starting to think that programmers are stupidest semi-intelligent mother fuckers on the planet... simple shit gets turned into spider web of over complicated nonsense ... which simply means if u cant make shit simple... U R ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER...
ps. i just tried changing tab from 4 to 3 in atom... those are some dump mother fuckers there...1 -
Hey guys, I have a big decision to make and wanted some advice before I did so. I got an email from a recruiter (who looked at my git repos) with viking code and was offered placement in their immersive program. The immersive progrAm is 12 weeks long and amounts to 1000 hours of training...the stack is something like javascript,angularjs,ruby, ect... finally the program is deferred tuition so I pay with a percentage of my salary.
The only issue is I was going to start school for a 2 year associates of applied science (programming specialist ) degree. If I do the bootcamp it would postpone school. So my decision comes down to doing the bootcamp and postponing school, or finish school then possibly see if there is an opening in 2 years for bootcamp. What do y'all think?15 -
CQRS + Event Sourcing.
Because it just makes sense. In small applications, just command pattern, but CQRS and Event Sourcing is a beautiful, beautiful thing.