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It was between me and another guy.
I fucking won!
I GOT THE FUCKING JOB!!
I'll be a junior Linux Support Engineer in a week or so!
OMG OMG YAYAYAYAYAY104 -
Train conversation between 3 girls:
A: "Oh, I've got 4G.. "
B: "What, we have 4G!?"
C: "OMG I HATE 4G!"
A: "Yeah, it's almost as slow as E"
C: "I know, right?!"
.....
Kill me pls17 -
Me: Sometimes I talk to myself while debugging.
Me: OMG 😱, me too..
Me: Lets try pair programming next time.10 -
My worst developer sin is probably me talking sh*t about programs I could never have done better myself.
"Omg, this is so inefficent!"
"Omg, the ui is so confusing!"
"What kind of idiot would do that?"
...I'm not the only one who does that, am I?11 -
YES YES YES YES I HAVE MY FIRST INTERVIEW NEXT WEEK (SERVER MANAGEMENT/SUPPORT POSITION)
*JUMPS AROUND* (NOT LITERALLY BECAUSE AT A TRAIN STATION)31 -
My friend: OMG OMG OMG My laptop is dead!
Me: What do you mean it's dead? It doesn't even turn on?
My friend: Nooo, it does nothing?
Me: Are you sure it's plugged in?
My friend: Yesss
Me: You sure?
My friend: Yess, it's actually plugged into a multiple socket thingy...
Me: And that thing is plugged in to the wall..?
My friend: Well duh!
Me: And did you turn the switch on?
My friend: Of course I....oh, wait!! Never mind!!!!!
Me: >:/6 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
My startup actually made the first place in an accelerator program! We'll start negotiations on Monday!! I'm so fucking excited!
Plus I met a really nice person on the train on my way back home! What the actual fuck is that a nice day!19 -
Boss put some kind of Linux professional certification book on my desk today.
I REALLY HOPE I CAN GET CERTIFIED 😍15 -
- Free app:
"5 stars - OMG this app is awesome!!!"
- Add new feature with In-app purchase:
"1 star - App sucks balls. Why we must pay? Make free and I rate 5 stars"
I call them The Rating Terrorists.8 -
Me: *uses google chrome*
Parents: Stop, log out of everything, you're hogging up the internet, omg
Me: *unplugs computer*
Parents: *their computer still not working* You downloaded a virus to our wifi you're grounded for a month3 -
Normal people post selfies on Instagram and get comments like "omg so sexy 😘"
Developers post stuff like this in devRant and get comments like "omg so sexy 😎":
4 -
*enters password*
*misspells a letter*
*OMG BACKSPACE! BACKSPACE!*
*retypes whole password again* 😂😂7 -
OMG you guys weren't kidding. Windows 10 sucks. I finally understand why no one uses it anymore. I heard the Linux brand is very good.
53 -
So the other day my mother told me that her laptop does not start. Then we found out that she holds the "power" button so long that the laptop turned off again after a few seconds after the boot was initiated.3
-
-non programmer- friend sees me programming..
"Omg are you hacking?!"
I think it's because of the dark theme.. 🤔😂
.....
2 -
Programmers as seen by me when I was 10: "OMG, they are scientists, they must rule the world!"
Now: "How the fuck... Whose donkey programmed that shit?!"6 -
Took me 2 fucking days to figure out why the loop wasn't working, biggest facepalm ever.
if(iterator.hasNext()){
// some awesome code
}9 -
«But... why man??? Let's call it "person-in-the-middle", so that it is fairer!»
All this fucking politically correctness is killing us.16 -
TL;DR: disaster averted!
Story time!
About a year ago, the company I work for merged with another that offered complementary services. As is always the case, both companies had different ways of doing things, and that was true for the keeping of the financial records and history.
As the other company had a much larger financial database, after the merger we moved all the data of both companies on their software.
The said software is closed source, and was deployed on premises on a small server.
Even tho it has a lot of restrictions and missing features, it gets the job done and was stable enough for years.
But here comes the fun part: last week there was a power outage. We had no failsafe, no UPS, no recent backups and of course both the OS and the working database from the server broke.
Everyone was in panic mode, as our whole company needs the software for day to day activity!
Now, don't ask me how, but today we managed to recover all the data, got a new server with 2 RAID HDDs for the working copy of the DB, another pair for backups, and another machine with another dual HDD setup for secondary backups!
We still need a new UPS and another off site backup storage, but for now...disaster averted!
Time for a beer! Or 20...
That is all :)4 -
Working on code that we took from other devices company. We found this brilliant thing in one of their function (check catch blok)
2 -
Update 2:
Second update, second terrible quality gif!
Keyboard controls working over a web server!
Also there's loads less latency now since I'm using websockets :)
11 -
I take 1 day off from work, i come back finding my chair replaced by a junky one... I mean really??? f*ck this!17
-
Come to a festival they said.. .. It'll be fun they said.. Here I'm ranting and reading machine learning algorithms under a tree, while others party. Omg.
7 -
!rant OMG GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!! I only have tendinitis in my elbow causing pain in my hand, not carpal tunnel or arthritis 😄10
-
So our robotics team just got some code ready and our robots servos are reading hardware fault. Fml
23 -
FUCK PHP!!!
We were trying to go live with a big online shop, it is connected through a crappy API to SAP.
PHP keeps outputting fucking errors because our intern doesn't fucking know how to properly write PHP.
YEAH, JUST FUCKING RETURN A WHOLE DIFFERENT TYPE OF DATA IF THE FUNCTION HAS AN ERROR.
Oh and using fucking strtr( ... ) to insert stuff in a string is REALLY FUCKING 1337...
And when you think the whole fuckery has reached the summit, just look at how HE FUCKING CREATED THE UGLY EMAIL TEMPLATE:
$content .= "UGLY HTML ABOMINATION";
$content .= "MORE UGLY HTML";
$content .= "HTML WITH SPELLING ERRORS";
$content .= "<table>";
$content .= "TEARS OF TIM BERNERS LEE";
$content .= "<table>HE FOGOT THE FUCKING '/'";
and dozens more of these lines...
and the whole piece for ALL 3 FUCKING LANGUAGES...
Thanks for writing the fucking backend stuff, it is better to rewrite the whole piece.20 -
Just heard a sales girl in IT store telling a customer that some screen has much better "smoothing of sharpness". OMG4
-
Going through code left by a senior developer who quit.. Dated 2015..
public static T IfThenElse<T>(bool isTrue, T ifYes, T ifNo)
{
if(isTrue) { return ifNo ; }
else if(!isTrue) { return ifNo ;}
Debugger.Break();
throw new Exception("") ;
}
.....
There was a unit test for it well
....
............. Wow, just wow9 -
OmG I haTeZ WhEn PIp0L tHinK I Am A haCk3R bIcoZ of My trMinAl Lib mi alone! XOXOX
shut the fuck up.19 -
Dear Tech-News Outlets,
Yes, I accept 30994 cookies and do not want to uncheck them one by one.
No, I don't want to subscribe to a newsletter full of content completely unknown to me - maybe let me stroll around a bit before asking me? But please don't ask me in the middle of reading the shitty article. Maybe make use of a so-called "sidebar" for shit like that?
Yes, I want to continue without turning off my adblock.
No thanks, I know how to turn it off, I'm going to remove this overlay now via devtools, alright?
Yours
An annoyed user7 -
Let me tell you a story.
Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.
With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.
So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!
It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.
To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.
As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!7 -
Finally paid for a proper VPN
American Netflix is so much better than Canada's omg they have everything8 -
OMG. I accidentally click into my own name on the Slack DM list, and what wonderful resource did I just find? HOW LONG have I been ignoRANT of this wonderful repo for my fave .gif contributions to project channels???!?!?!?
3 -
Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!
Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!
Stop the lies!!!5 -
Told my junior the optimization idea i was going to say in the upcoming meeting
Fucking guy stole it and got all the claps in the evening meeting
Now i cant even look at his face.11 -
*Downloaded devRant about 3 days ago*
*Already used devRant: about 48 hours*
What would I be without you5 -
OMG ever since I started to love Haskell, all nonfunctional languages look ugly, I am getting worse at writing procedural code!3
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OH MY FUCKING GOD XD
My female coworker was in an phonecall with my boss and he was sharing his desktop.
He is not the smartest so he forgot about sharing his desktop after the phonecall.
We are watching since half an hour while he is answering his e-mails :D and he don't even notice XD13 -
Assembly:
"OMG! What an unfriendly language! It's so obsolete!"
WebAssembly:
"OMG! Assembly is on the web! It's so amazing!"3 -
I wonder if the meeting at Rubber ducks quack association goes like this...
Why the hell doesn't my guy see the problem? It's fucking right there! Why don't you see it??? OMG! I request for a change of owner.1 -
When friend trying to fix a bug for a week and then call you to fix it and you fixed it in a minute then he looked at you and say "omg how ? You are a god"
-
OMG I just accidentally deleted hundreds of hours of work permanently ... F*** ME 😱😱😱😨😨😱😰
THIS IS WHY I DON'T FUCKING USE AUTOMATED BATCH SCRIPTS.22 -
*Me at class just trying to organize my directories and shit on the terminal*
My classmate: OMG you are a hacker! Can you pleas help me hack a Facebook account !!!
Fml....1 -
Currently -28C. People from us be like: omg guys, it was like 40F today i thought i was gonna freeze my fingers off xD7
-
has anyone seen Google's AI face-tree nightmare generator? (a joke from another thread)
They need to be stopped!
12 -
AMAZING MIDNIGHT BREAKTHROUGH!!!
In Android studio if u disable the enable frame check box of the avd and select the graphics option to hardware the avd works a bit faster...even in a system with 4gb ram 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌12 -
Omg whhhy do things change so much from Laravel 5.x to 5.4? Tutorials are useless! And Google, I love you, but giving me laravel 4 answers as top results for my query specifying 5.4 is just infuriating!!!3
-
Guy1-Have you seen the new iPhone ?
Guy2-Yeah, blablabla like Samsung
Guy1-Blablabla
Guy2-Like Microsoft
Me-OMG STFU no one cares3 -
Nobody solved this super complicated cryptography puzzle last time. I guess I have created an unsolvable mystery of epic proportions. Anyway, if you wanna give it a try, go ahead:
b417021dc01b409ad0c21b430a508624
Answer is a sentence in plain english. Space is used, but no punctuation. Post answer to comments. Good luck :D33 -
OMG ... please.
Digital era 2018 - Data secuity forum.
Main topic - GDPR.
First talker talks about blockchain.1 -
“I accidentally e-mailed my bank ‘delete’ and they lost everybody’s accounts. I’m sorry i’m just learning banking.”
“The latest Ethereum Parity wallet disaster”
https://davidgerard.co.uk/blockchai...10 -
I can't stop the urge to buy Udemy courses. Help!! If I don't stop, I go broke cause I'm still aiming for a job.10
-
*code reviewing someone's work*
OMG! if-statements within if-statements! This is an IFception! *prays*4 -
All the articles about javascript fatigue lately. Omg just shut the fuck up already. Being a developer is hard, deal with it2
-
Omg, delegation to others feels like the last, most difficult skill to master. Letting go can be so hard.
Patience, me. Patience.3 -
make let not var
Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY
me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.7 -
OMG! the ancient one... amazon sells data mining book from year where not even computer existed.
FYI - if it's typo then not fixed for months
6 -
Overheard: "I'll need to get in touch with my Infrastructure Architecture Innovation Team"
😂🤣😅😂🤣😅
Why not just call them team buzzwords. Omg.3 -
OMG!!! Arrived right before thanks giving!!! Can't thanks @dfox and @trogus enough for the awesome #devrantapp stickers!!!
1 -
Why isn't this ready for testing yet?
Could it be that despite multiple meetings emails and face to face conversations none of you have provided me with what I actually need?
Yes I can create you new email and SMS campaigns. But I need two little things first.
1 The template text.
2 The sign off forms from compliance
Without them I can't do shit. So stop chasing me on where we're at because I've been chasing you on this for two weeks.
This shit here is why I'm the grumpy It guy. -
That moment when you realize that the iOS dev uploaded to ITunes Store an app pointing to the devel IP and not the production one Omg! (i'm an android dev)2
-
OMG! This!
I was looking at the lowest-valued company in the stock market for kicks and found their candidate description for a web dev. Says it all... https://t.co/JFNdjFTsjo
From Twitter: https://twitter.com/jmeaspls/...
4 -
!dev
Media: Facebook is selling all your personal info to the highest bidder!
General Public: “What??? OMG!”
M: Russian elections are completely rigged!
GP: “What??? OMG!”
M: The social media platform you use to argue with your racist aunt isn’t actually a good place to get your news from!
GP: “What??? OMG! No way, I get all my news there!”
M: The sky is blue and water is wet!
GP: “What??? OMG!”
Me: You fucking idiots. Smarten the fuck up!
https://goo.gl/images/1eUBd36 -
OMG OMG OMG!!! IT WORKS!!!
So one feature I have in my app is I can subscribe to a Rant. This means that if the OP ever posts a new comment, I will get a Notification in the Updates tab.
Completely forgot about this until today!
6 -
yesterday..
- OMG ${LINUX} you work with computer? Can you fix my printer!?
I never learn to not talk about what I work with2 -
Microsoft Windows: this application has stopped working: Microsoft Windows
omg it's a fucking ERROR PARADOX3 -
Me: *tries to save a file using inscape to my documents folder*
AVG: OMG OMG I SWEAR INSKAAPE JUST TRIED TO DELETE *literally the file I just tried to save* BE THANKFULL WE MADE SURE YOU CANT BE PRODUCTIVE WITHOUT TURNING OFF YOUR AV6 -
You know you are not normal and way outside of this world when you shake your head up and down, and get convinced while you read about new definitions on existing words ON A FUCKING SATURDAY!
1 -
Writing simple terminal input/output lang (Hello, what's your name, hi) in D.
Compiling in D using standard lib: 6.1M
Compiling in D with inline assembly, no standard lib or libc, using syscalls: 1048 bytes!
I'm still freaking out a little.2 -
OMG @dfox! Thank you for adding the modify! I can finally fix that pesky autocorrect from 3 months ago
Haha jk, 5 minute rule. Can't Heil Hitler all my posts... -
People on election day: "OMG a subset of the machines are not working!!"
People who work in IT every single day: "lol no shit."4 -
"I can't connect to the internet on my phone!!11!"
*I open control centre and disable airplane mode*
"omg how you do that thank you"1 -
Getting into Linux (Kali...)
Omg I had to google everything. Per example how to change the keyboard to my language...😥5 -
OMG! What are you doing guys, the ultimate offer is here by Godaddy. Now I can afford food and domain at the same time, thanks Godaddy!
5 -
Just learned about the Linux watch command today. `watch -n 1 ls -l` OMG, where have you been all my life?5
-
Today I download a python instagram bot on github. Man this language is so interesting...
OMG what have I missed????3 -
Do you feel dazed by what front-end development is become? You should read this article, it worths your time https://hackernoon.com/how-it-feels...
I felt the need to share it and to talk about it1 -
Omg I really like IntelliJ, but its GUI form designer is just completely and utter crap! Can't even resize a button! >:(3
-
Those feels when you're tasked with producing a detailed breakdown of the structure of the client's application, and you're high-key having to avoid being too negative about the shit-show.
2 -
When you ask your co-worker for help with an issue and while he researches the issue ever so slowly on your computer you see what the problem is but he won't listen and you're to nice to 'dismiss' him...1
-
OMG!
The new swag is so adorable! I had to click it immediately, can't wait to have it sitting on my desk :)1 -
You have all this power your ancestors never ever dreamed about to command every machine that uses a random bunch of characters at your fingertips and you do what?
A dating app!
4 -
The good - devRant has replaced my Facebook, Instagram, 9Gag ☺️
The bad - devRant has also replaced my feeds for Hacker News, The Verge, OMG! Ubuntu! and news sources. 🙁4 -
!rant
i hate the QA guys when they gets excited finding a "SUPER REGRESSION OMG THE APP IS BROKEN" just to find out that they haven't read the new specifications.4 -
A client bought an extremely expensive piece of software that is so "high level enterprise" that when you do a dry-run of the installation it actually fills the database with application data and the real installation fails afterwards because of this. BadumTsssss
I am going to cry now m( -
Well... Ehm, wow. It's Maintenence Weekend... and I really don't know what to say...
It's simply a prick. -
Anyone else here trying to access the menu of any service display they come across. Can't help it ;)
(Or trying to find an outgoing link if the display is set to a certain website.) -
Back again to the horrow show.
We start with the integration. It’s a new project, let’s see how it works. First step: authentication. From the documentation it claims to be an oAuth2. Wait..why just 2 steps to authenticate?! Nevermind, we’ll contact them later. Let’s go on for now.
They need a timestamp with microseconds precision. Here you are!
Nope. Come on! Take the damned timestamp! Nope. Let’s take a look at theirs. If it’s with milliseconds precision, WHY 7 digits after comma?!!!! We decided to contact them. And then.........their answer: we don’t know of any exact number of digits to represent milliseconds.
I see...so it’s arbitrary!!! What are you going to tell us next? One hour can be 3.14159265 minutes then?!!2 -
OMG I hate html2pdf.
WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ENORMOUS SPACES EVERYWHERE ?! WOULD YOU LIKE THAT IF I STARTED TO PAINT IN WHITE ALL YOUR WORK ? WELL NO BECAUSE YOU DO IT ALL BY YOURSELF !9 -
OMG!! the SCSS is so Sassy..... perfect name for an extension....
SASS : Syntactically Awesome Style Sheet.
I wonder what this guy(the guy who named sass) named his child/pet1 -
Client : OMG DISK FULL THIS TEST IS A TOTAL FAILURE
How is it our fault? Just buy better equipment already! -
I just want the css to limit the maximum horizontal width of a table OMG NO WORDPRESS DON'T GIVE ME ANOTHER FUCKING PLUGIN FOR THIS3
-
If I had to sell the website I'm currently testing in one sentence, I'd say "It takes less than 3mn to get connected". 😭
-
So today, I have to clean the project, republish, clean Tomcat's directory, recompile.
That takes forever omg -
OMG trying to work with sendmail, mutt and Amazon SES is a royal pain.
I'm a victim of the crossfire between spammers and anti-spam mechanisms.4 -
Omg has Google placed a new ad scheme online or something? It's fucking huge! Almost an entire screen of ads before seeing the first search result.
AAARRGHH 😑5 -
An artificial human brain with computers operational power. OMG !!!! That will surely take unlimited time.2
-
When you hit the deploy key, on crap code written by someone else... not caring about Operating..and you realize: OMG iam the poor DevOps guy, who has to fix it.
-
OMG! I just realised one new thing about how people implement Entity Component System library... I'm good to start all over again x) well I don't even remember how many time it happened now ^^"
-
OMG, what have I done? I've maxed out the Windows 10 start menu size and filled it with tiles, only to realize that I've basically turned the menu into *Windows 8 Metro Home Screen*. By choice. This is scary.2
-
Nice to meet you, where you've been? I can show you legacy code.
C, Python, Ruby and Node.
OMG, look at this line, pretty sure it isn't mine -
For some reason, out of no where, I made this word up. It's called Moop, and it's definition is paradoxical. It means "everything and nothing, anywhere and nowhere, etc". So one day at work one of my coworkers pushed his untested commit to the master branch of our 25k project. To make matters worse, he deleted all other branches and previous versions of the project. Our project manager heard about it and became so angry that he almost broke our no-curse-word-policy. So he called is all together to get around it so he could properly vent.
Project manager: "Guys I'm extremely angry at James (the one who pushed the untested source code to our commercial project, ruining it)
Me: well, I have a word that we can use
Project manager: what is it?
Me: Moop
You can guess what the next few weeks at work was like. All of my coworkers had to fix the crap James made, including myself. So the conversations went like this: "The mooperfluffer James should have never mooped with us!", "MOOP YOU JAMES, I HOPE YOU HET MOOPED TO HELL YOU MOOPUP!!!!!", "Hey James, guess what! I hope you moop yourself". Our boss became a strong moop user and spray moop all over James workstation. We put moop in his cup, his laptop keyboard, even his thumb drive. We downloaded moop.exe to his PC so we could moop his kernel.
Today James' life is officially mooped.4 -
Guys is that the case, that it is such a hassle to work with forms in React-Redux application?! Hell, it takes a lot of time to just create a simple form with like 3 lines of inputs.
Everytime I need to setup bunch of those Actions that will fire on a field value change, than selectors to pick from the state and send to the backend with redux-saga. OMG OMG OMG.
Redux-forms kind a struggle to setup too at first, but I guess I have to go for it anyway?1 -
First time pithing about startup concept in startup bootcamp, 2 fucking dead air (fuck....)
but I'm able to finish my pitch in time.
(Feeling relief now) -
Check out this holiday rant/poem from a Front-end developer and colleague:
“Twas a Dev’s Christmas: A Holiday Ode to the Open Source Community” by @warlyware https://levelup.gitconnected.com/tw...
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