Details
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AboutA kangaroo person not from australia that does small dev work and is more an interrim-sysadmin than anything else
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Skillsjava, html, php, vba in excel :/, js/jquery, basic server stuff in linux & windows. Jack of all Trades, Master of none but better than a Master of one.
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LocationGermoney
Joined devRant on 6/6/2018
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Our boss has a camera in the office to "monitor" us, the developers.
He tries to monitor our movements and record the things we say.
I'm curious, do other people do this?
I find it annoying.23 -
Ok, who among you crazy people came up with this idea? https://userinyerface.com
That website is the UX equivalent of murder 1. It took skill, planning and a very special brand of crazy to create.10 -
RPi 4 is hard to get your hands on it seems.
Really debating buying it though, 4 GB is enticing, but I just don't see a place for it. I have a surplus of machines which are much more powerful and accessible (Display ports - not mini HDMI)
And let's not forget the sub-2GHz clock speed. My desktop goes to 5, and my server isn't far behind. And my laptop isn't far behind that. And my other laptop isn't far behind that. But this new Pi would be far far behind that.
Not to mention the ARM architecture. There have been leaps and bounds made since the Pi first came out in terms of support for ARM (Most certainly fueled by the Android craze) but it still isn't x64, is it?
If I were 13 again and I didn't have all of the toys that I do now, I would be elated at the launch of the Pi 4. But as it stands, I don't see a use for it. Maybe nostalgia.19 -
What the crap is it with job applications and requiring freaking videos now?
I'm not some social butterfly that wants to be all friendly with everyone and a part of their goddamn lives. Give me a problem and/or some code and I'll happily make it work; give me an extrovert with a goddamn video call fetish and I'll fucking leave.
I'm an engineer, not your salaried girlfriend.28 -
1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.
3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.
4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC
5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.
6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself
7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.
8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#
9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte
10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache
11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.
12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol
13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."
15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."
16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."
17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.
20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.10 -
Petition for the pixelated avatars joke to be a permanent feature.
Vote for yes
Down vote for no
:)12 -
Random hardware question if anyone knows: On the various types of hard drives (Spinner, SSD, M.2, etc.) does it require the same amount of energy to read and write a bit? Or do they take a different amount of power. Is this even effectively measurable? If they're the same, what about at the byte level?6
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Sister: "Can you fix my computer?"
Me: "What's wrong?"
S: *explains the issue
Me: *types that into Google and shows her the search results
S: *gives me the look
M: "This is seriously what I do to fix a lot of my problems 🧚"18 -
The most stupid question you can ask at an open source software event?
"So, this system, is it open source?"
I asked this to a guy at a stand about the system he was presenting (forgot the project name).
He stared at me with a wtf face and then replied with "....yes.... of course.... this is an OPEN SOURCE software event?!"
I felt quite fucking stupid.12 -
TABLE BASED WEB DESIGN
I was surprised there were no rants about this topic before I realized it was more than a decade back 😳
We've never had it better! So to help add a little perspective for all those ranting about what is unarguably the golden age for web developers... let me fill you in on web dev in the late 90's;
JavaScript was a joke. No seriously! - I once got laughed out of the room for suggesting we try use it for more than disabling a button - (I wanted to check out the new XHR request thingy [read AJAX]).
HTML was simple and purely a markup language (with the exception of the marquee tag). The tags were basically just p,ul,ol,h*,form inputs,img and table and html took 10 minutes to learn. Any style was inline and equally crude - anything that wasn't crude could not be trusted and probably wouldn't render at all in most browsers (never mind render correctly).
There were rumors of a style TAG and something called a cascading style sheet which were received with much skepticism since it went against the old ways and any time saved would be lost writing multiple [IE version specific] style sheets for each browser just to get it to work - so we simply didn't.
No CSS meant the only tags you had to work with to create a structured layout were br, hr and table... so naturally EVERYTHING was in nested tables! JS callback hell can't touch this! - it was not uncommon to have 50+ nested tables all with inline style in a single page which would be edited without any dev tools or linting.
You would spend 30 minutes scanning td tags until your eyes bled to find something, make a change, ftp the file to the server, reload the web page and then spend 10 minutes staring at the devastation on your screen convinced you broke
the internet before spotting an un-closed td tag with your bloodshot eyes.
Tables were not just a silver bullet - they were the ONLY bullet and were in the wild west!
Q: Want an inline form or to align your inputs left?
A: Duh table!
Q: Want a border with round-corners, a shadow or blur?
A: That's easy! Your gonna want to put that table in the center cell of another table then crop a image of the border into 6 smaller images to put in the surrounding cells... oh and then spend 10 minutes fucking with mystical attributes like cell-padding and valign to get them flush.
...But hey at least on the bright-side vertically & horizontally centering stuff was a breeze!22 -
Ignore this, keeps on scrolling
**bold text**
*italic text*
_italic text_
```
this is a block of something something
second line
```
~~strike through~~
~~double check~~
__underlined__16 -
Imagine if a structural engineer whose bridge has collapsed and killed several people calls it a feature.
Imagine if that structural engineer made a mistake in the tensile strength of this or that type of bolt and shoved it under the rug as "won't fix".
Imagine that it's you who's relying on that bridge to commute every day. Would you use it, knowing that its QA might not have been very rigorous and could fail at any point in time?
Seriously, you developers have all kinds of fancy stuff like Continuous Integration, Agile development, pipelines, unit testing and some more buzzwords. So why is it that the bridges don't collapse, yet new critical security vulnerabilities caused by bad design, unfixed bugs etc appear every day?
Your actions have consequences. Maybe not for yourself but likely it will have on someone else who's relying on your software. And good QA instead of that whole stupid "move fast and break things" is imperative.
Software developers call themselves the same engineers as the structural engineer and the electrical engineer whose mistakes can kill people. I can't help but be utterly disappointed with the status quo in software development. Don't you carry the title of the engineer with pride? The pride that comes from the responsibility that your application creates?
I wish I'd taken the blue pill. I didn't want to know that software "engineering" was this bad, this insanity-inducing.
But more than anything, it surprises me that the world that relies so much on software hasn't collapsed in some incredible way yet, despite the quality of what's driving it.44 -
My manager from Germany says, "We have a saying in Germany. If you buy cheap, you buy twice. We must adapt it as, If you deliver fast, you must deliver twice". Scenario, faulty code delivery without checking the need of adoption work items.4
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Debugging vb code written by someone else, on a lagging remote desktop connection
I guess this is the peak of legacy code8 -
#7
The former dev tried to implement redirects. He created dozens of routes wich lead to a 'redirectXY' method within the 'mainController'. There he returned a redirect Instance.
😓🔨5 -
#6
My client tells me there's a new bug with to-www-redirects. He yells they don't work properly anymore and tries to blame me. But fact is I know, they are well configured in the Nginx conf and therefore work like a charm.
I told him I fixed it and charged an hour. Motherfucker.
😓🔨 -
#5
Of course the previous dumbass dev could not use the findOrFail() method, because he didn't used any models.
But he just implemented his custom get404() method.
😓🔨2 -
#4
Only 7 of the ~200 Routes are named. The former dev just created URLs within the views with the url() method.
#4.1
There are just GET & POST request. Even though stuff is getting edited or deleted.
😓🔨9 -
#3
There are like 50 views. But that's not the bad part about it. Each view is backed up twice or more within the same vie directory by adding a date to the views name.4 -
#2
There's only one model. The user model, wich is preinstalled. But the database has many tables. All queries are generated manually. Within the "mainController".
😓🔨5 -
#1
Fuck it. I obtained a Laravel codebase with 200 routes all handled by "mainController".
😓🔨
There will be rants.21 -
At home I am root. At work I am at the mercy of incompetent monkeys and their shoddy restrictive systems...
Anyone else?19 -
Passwords.. how do you guys manage yours? I'm one of those who often used the same semi weak password for nearly everything
I'm more than likely going to get a password manager but I have no idea which, do you use any?30 -
I left some spaghetti code on production at the company i left, i really hope my replacement isn’t a psycho who’ll try to find me3