!Rant

Friday night installing arch and coding, should be a good night

I laughed more than I should. 😅

Fixing a parents iPhone, episode 1.

Problem: "Whatsapp is gone off my phone"

Debugging:

Me: *unlocks phone and sees whatsapp*, it's right here.

Mam: no, I no that I can't see my messages.

Me: ok, that is definitely not what "whatsapp is gone off my phone means".

*opens whatsapp*
*inside add contact screen*

App seems ok, your trying to add a contact?

Mam: that's a problem, whenever I open it I only see that page.

Me: *taps cancel button with shocked face*

Mam: omg there's my messages, how did you do that?

Me: ... ... ... I tapped the very easy to see, large cancel button in the top right hand corner.

Mam: but why was it opened there?

Me: *looks at opened message from unknown number*

If I was to hazard a guess, now stay with me on this one as it's a bit complex. I think ... I THINK ... you clicked the "add to contacts" button on the screen in front of you.

I am suspicious of one thing though.

Mam: what's that?

Me: how you managed to click the add contacts button, and when brought to the add contacts screen, you assume the app is broken.

Mam: oh will you **** off you sarcastic little ****. Thank you very much.

Me: no prob, 4 year computer science course put to great use.

Met colleague at work

Him: You programmers don't like sleeping at all. You should try to sleep and look fresh like me ... Blah blah blah... (You get the picture)

Me: *just smiles and watch him go*

(But what I really wanted to say)

Me: 'Well you know what, most programmers don't sleep much not because sleep deprivation is fun or we're in some kind of cult where it's some daily ritual. But when they need to send in an update; usually on a feature to make YOUR life easier OR just can't seem get their code to run right, and they keep telling themselves; "5 more minutes", "I have a good feeling about this modification" the minutes add up and before you realize it morning! And that's why some of us look like s*** in the morning'

(And then turn around to leave only to come back really quick like I just remembered something)

Me (again): "And don't think that we enjoy it. At least the ones I know don't. It's simply a fr****** work hazard!"

Jack and Jill
Pulled down from git
To fetch aPaleOfWater.c
Jack made some changes
And then pushed them all up
A merge conflict occurred
Jill decided his changes sucked
And push --force over his
Jack was enraged
For history was changed
And force pushed Jill
down a hill

When you skip breakfast because you're running late, forget to go to lunch because you're in the zone, go home, work on your latest personal project and now it's 10 pm and you realize you have nothing to eat at home, so you have to rush half across town to the only supermarket that's still open...

Leaving Vim open on a public computer

Time to hide

Notice :
We strongly advise people to use Windows as their primary operating system as it provides a totally free and a great tool or a utility known as Backdoors.

Here's a simple explanation of a backdoor for the people who don't know what a great tool it is :
Just as most of the citizens have a secondary door to their home through the yard, similarly a backdoor is a secondary access to your Computer which you (not us) can use it in cases of emergencies when you forget the passwords.

Please cooperate
Have a great day :)

Complaining about Chrome's RAM usage is like eating fast food.
It's good, it's fast, you love it, all day every day. Then you complain about being fat.
😂

When your boss asks you to debug some crappy legacy code and you need to bring in the heavy artillery

That feeling when you put your own server to good use for the first time :)

What's your favorite 404 page? Blizzard has a solid one

Me if i was a game dev

@dfox and @trogus, here's an idea! What if every 20th or so rant was an ad? But not any ad, but job ads posted by recruiters!
That way you get money and we get more stuff to laugh about!

Boss emailed me that I need to work again on Saturday and Sunday.
I replied with a resignation letter.

When you have so much time on your hands that you create a rotating 3D cube console program...

When ransomeware guys provide better customer support than most companies 😂

She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉

Which dev apps do you have on your smartphone? These are mine

That moment when you are on terminal, you highlight text and press Ctrl+C, only to realize you have terminated a running job that was 90% complete.

People with programming languages named after them:

Haskell Curry
Ada Lovelace
Agner Erlang
Blaise Pascal
Taylor Swift

LaTeX for life.

Gary's a prick

millionaire = true

Dutch people must be having hard time programming

Third time my Macbook failed to Boot up...
It's time to burn it, but wait... lets take backup.

Ironically, this rant is coming from an Apple user.
(Image clicked and edited on iPad)

Our university syllabus is so outdated, we are forced to do C programs in TurboC.
So we install Dosbox on Windows 8 machines...
1 upvote = 1 prayer

—_😂_—