Turns out I got paid mostly for deleting code in a year 2019.

> Find new remote job that pays six figures.
> Only person in the house with income.
> Still not left alone to fucking work.

AFAJDLDHAFAHDKSLAKAGACAJFNSKDUEBXJCAWVWCSNXIXYEVXKCUDGRB/^&@FU+#9$/

JUST LET ME FUCKING WORK!

Faster square roots?

Did you know if you multiply your
product by pi, and then use that as
the area of a circle while solving for
the radius, the result will be an
approximation of the square root
of your product.

Example:

let p (the product) = 492181
then √p = 701.5561274766261

492181*pi = 1,546,232~
(leaving off the fraction for
the sake of brevity)

area = 1,546,232

then the radius of the 'circle' would be 701.56

I wonder if anyone has stumbled on this before?

You dare to use my spells against me?

I just remembered the first time I set up a Linux-Server. It was a simple Apache webserver at my first internship anf I didnt have a clue about literally anything.

My mentor guided me through and gave me literal step-by-step instructions (alright, now type... and now type...).

At the end he told me "OK, now run 'sudo rm -rf /*' to finish setting up". Me, being the naive and clueless motherfucker I am, happily nuked the everloving shit out of my newly setup server. I was like "Alright, WTF just happened??" He then told me "Now that you know how it works, do the entire thing again all by yourself. And you just learned an important lesson: NEVER exexute commands you dont know what theyre doing". I really did learn a lot on that day and still follow that lesson :D

YouTube recommendations are like when you tell your mom that you enjoyed a classical music concert, and the next day she has bought you a cello and signed you up for classes.

JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED ONE FUCKING DUMB COOKING SHOW, DOESN'T MEAN I WANT ALL MY CAREFULLY CURATED CONTENT ABOUT PROGRAMMING AND SCIENCE REPLACED WITH CELEBRITIES TRYING OUT VEGAN BARF WRAPS.

So the new Arduino Portenta h7 is programmable in JS. Some people just want to watch the world burn!

😂😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂

😆😆😆😆😆😆

It’s okay, I too can’t get a girlfriend 😂

*Manager enters the room quickly*

Manager: Coffe2Code, we have a serious problem on the application, (We are working on a chat app).

Me: What? now just few hours before the Demo?, what is it?

Manager: when I send or receive a media message (audio or video) the sound is not playing, the file seems like corrupted !

Me: that's strange, let me debug it and see.

*Me spending an hour and could not even reproduce the bug..*

Me: Boss, I cannot see the bug, can I debug on your device quickly?

Manager: Sure, here it is.

Me: hold the fucking device, press VOLUME UP, IT WAS FUCKING MUTE. THERE WAS NO ISSUE MOTHERFUCKER.

Manager, oups ok good no issue then, thanks

Today I uttered words I thought I'd never say in my life....

"This is why linux is better"

What the hell is going on in 2020 lmao

Spent multiple weeks preparing data for rendering. Part of this process is reprojecting coordinates of huge ass GeoJSON files (some files are 100gb+).

Compared one normal and one reprojected file with the head command and noticed no difference, then found out that this data already comes in the right projection....

Full-speed extraction it is!

Nice new scrollbars feature Spotify, but

1. This song isn't 05:34 minutes long
2. That position hardly seems like 05:01/05:34
3. The point is stuck at 05:01 while the song is playing

Please sir please

Found this gem somewhere on dev.to 😂😂

This is for all those people that like dark themes and when asked why you say it's because light attracts bugs.

I would like to explain how that is just so wrong. Bugs attracted to light are moths and a few other flying bugs.

The rest of the bugs live and thrive in darkeness. Cockroaches, bedbugs, spiders etc.

In fact mosquitoes hunt at night and prefer to hunt in the dark.

I just had to put this out there.

If you alter the scrolling on your site, you're a fucking moron.

Go to scroll down an inch and I end up at the bottom of the page. Fuck you.

Shrank the size a logo from 794kb to 5,27kb.
This was purely done to push my ego.

Converting computing fractals in Python to computing fractals in GPU. Seconds to milliseconds.

Removing sleep() from legacy code. 1000x improvement.

Much optimization. Such wow.

coding requires inspiration...

How has development come to the point that 16GB of RAM is not enough to smoothly develop a simple website?

Where have we lost the way? 🤔 🙄

This should not on me; my IDE does this !!

Just stumbled upon this!

$('body').append('<noscript>Please enable javascript in your browser to enjoy all web features.</noscript>');

A saw it this morning. Now i can die.

Me: Can you lift an elephant with one hand?

Bing: You really can't because even the strongest human cannot lift an elephant that has one hand.

Yahoo: Elephant FC vs Oklahoma City - today 15:00GMT.

Baidu: 你不能 你不能 that is how you can.

Yandex.ru: Americans killed the Elephant whilst pointing hands at Russian spy.

DuckDuckGo: Elephants have privacies too and lifting one can bridge DDG policies.

Ask.com: Lifting an elephant is a Metaphor.

AOL.com: No result yet. Subscribe to our Newsletter to get latest updates.

Google: (google.com) wants to access your location.

DevRant should support code snippets `like this` and
```
like this
```

2days into changes in our team, so now I'm the only developer

client: so can you give me contact of another person while you're on vacation?
me: well, unfortunately I'm the only developer...
client: (ರ_ರ)
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯