Nobody :
HRs on LinkedIn : A guy applied to us, he was a serial killer in the past and cooked the victims body and ate them. He was rejected by every company. But I gave him a chance. 4 years later ..he is the highest performing employee and my husband.

On my way to my first real job after getting my degree. This feels weird. Good, but weird

Idk what's happening to me, I am just not feeling good going to office and code there, may be I want a big vacation or need to change my job, it's like so frustrating there.

You might be the best web developer out there, you might've worked on tons of frameworks seamlessly. But the feeling of changing <title> of a website feels powerful.

Today I asked for a 5% rise. I got 10%.

Interviewer:Explain DEADLOCK and I'll HIRE you!

Programmer:HIRE me and I'll EXPLAIN it to you..

Happens when you are new.

A senior engineer with about 8 experience in my team and company for almost a year now. Believe it or not, still hasn't setup local dev environment.

Every time we ask this person to set it up / refer to guide in Confluence / or just use the docker image the person says ok.

Starts sending code for pull request. The code would not even compile in most cases just from a quick scan. When questioned how was this tested, answer would be more or less 'oh my local setup not working, could you test it out for me.'

Doesn't know how to write tests. Fairly recently instead of storing string values in a list, (I swear am not kidding) decided to come up with 20 string variables.

8 years plus experience! I think this is retarded even for a fresh grad.

Omfg this fucking guy!!!!

Context:

We are going through a major refactor of some of our backend components. I was tasked with cleaning up our ML code while another guy was tasked with cleaning up the general CRUD side of the backend, let's call him DA for "dumb ass".

** At 11pm
DA: I am getting a strange error from your backend. Look:

"Invalid call: method=PUT expected=[POST]"

Me: you need to send a post request not a put request

DM: no, it's not that. I am sending the right thing

Me: ... Let me see...

* 15min ish of testing *

No, it works fine on my version, 1.1.0 what's your version?

DM: I'm on 1.1.0.

Me: send me code?

DM: *send

"request.put(..."

Me: you are sending a PUT... It's literally in the screenshot. Send a Post

DM: I am

Me: no, send a Post

DM: I don't understand, I am sending the request

Me: it's a post not a put

DM: but...

Me: it's a post not a put
Me: good night!!!!!!

Lmao True aff 😂😂😂

Hahaha

Why is my whole body shaking even my voice whenever i drink coffee ?? ???????????

Anyone got the hacktoberfest email yet?

*me* finding solutions on StackOverflow, Medium, API Docs for hours
*senior dev* walks in and changes one line of code
*works* O.o

Me: This weekend will be a very productive.

Also Me: *Torrent 5 seasons of a series*

I sent my Galaxy S9+ to repairs after someone scratched my fingerprint sensor.
It came back with "repairs done" but the only thing they apparently did was a software update, the sensor still has a scratch in it, and it still goes haywire when I try using it.

lol shit happens

These are called crocodile tears, so I guess this one must have been really sad 😢

The PM is trying to dump the responsibility of change management onto me

What the absolute fuck im your developer and you want me to spend my time filling in data on spreadsheet? Everytime I update an environment I send out emails by fucking hand already because ya'll to cheap for change management software, fill your own damn spreadsheet. You know, do management, your job?

For fucks sakes

when you deploy on a friday

me: oh you can add a where clause to filter xxx out with your group by.

arrogant junior: whuuut? you can use where clause with group by ? No u can't!

me: err... yes you can...

arrogant junior: NO!!!! No it doesn't work that way!

me : okay okay... fine ...

**30 mins later**

i see a where clause in the sql statement lol...I don't know why this person is always so pissed and fierce lol

Sometimes I change to light theme just to change things up.

both sides are real

I just gave snapchat access to my contacts permissions, i cant wait to see what they will do with that. so exciting!!

Well....We can have discussion over this...who are in??

When management measure the performance of maintenance team by the amount of bug they fixed

My last promotion was a 2% raise for a hell of a lot more responsibility

Guess who's updating their CV 🙃

Brain crashed during live technical interview

Fml

Banglore meetup anyone ?

Somewhere near indiranagar, on coming Monday

Ok, bye....