Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

Thanks @dfox for adding the double tap to upvote feature, I mean, bug. You're a saint

Don't understand USB storage?
Well here it is, in a nutshell -

well that explains it...
all i had to do was break them up and now its up and running

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I repeat

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I think we have a problem here.

*music intensifies*

I'm giving up alcohol for a month.

Wait that came out wrong.

I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month

Cred: instagram

Root ain't givin' no fucks no mo'

My boss just demanded that I join a conference call. So, I call in, and there's three other people there.

He starts chewing me out for talking with some vendor directly (their VP emailed me directly and asked for a few things, and i was instructed to make him happy). Apparently I used "confusing wording" and "did not talk his language." Bossman was really getting into gear for a ten-minute berating.

It turns out that the guy in question only read half of my first email, and totally ignored the second email where I told him everything was finished and live and working. I told my boss quite bluntly that the guy should have read what I had written, and that he was an idiot. The boss's defense of the guy? "Well, he's a sales guy." I just laughed at him.

Later, bossman started in on me (once again) for not making enough progress on this ridiculous shared-spreadsheet sales tool he wants, saying "We discussed this a week ago!"

I casually reminded him that we had talked about it for the first time ever on Friday night (today is Tuesday), and he had said it wasn't going to be a priority for the next three weeks(!). Again he stopped in his tracks. Again, I laughed at him.

Guy's a tool and I'm so done with caring.

Root's going to be flippant and angry. Root's going to have fun (:

What's he gonna do, fire me? 😂

When you try to rob a programmer

After a long battle with CSS I give up and show the client a preview.
Client: I like how you made this first row a bit wider. Really makes it stand out.
Me: Yeah...right, that was intentional... 😎

My boyfriend is in dental school and I am, of course, a dev. So we often swap analogies to help each other better understand what we are talking (or usually complaining) about. My favorite one so far is when I was explaining to him how the sales team undersells websites without consulting developers and we are constantly over budget. So he goes, "That's like the receptionist telling the patient they have 2 cavities just by looking at them and having them pay immediately. And when the dentist takes a look, the patient actually needs 4 crowns and a root canal... but they already paid for just the 2 cavities."

A guy DMed me. He wanted me to do a small freelance gig. I saw their codebase and made suggestions.

30 minutes after, they hired me. CTO position. My highest salary yet.

I made an account just to rant about this:

Currently working for a multi billion dollar company and this is the code some wanker decided to write! Now I get the pleasure of reading through and debugging it :D

Life suddenly became less complicated. Thanks devRant 😊

Manager: Do you wanna be a manager?

WhatsApp, freaking WhatsApp.
How did this thing become such a standard. How? Why does everyone EXPECT you to have it. They assume that you have it installed on your phone.

'Why don't you respond to my messages? '

'Which messages? '

'The ones I sent you'

'I didn't get any messages. Wait, how did you send them to me? '

'WhatsApp'

'Ah, yeah I don't use that. Wait, where did you even get my phone number from? '

'What? You don't have WhatsApp? Freaking weirdo. '

'bye'

How did an app(lication) become such a standard and why does everyone automatically assume that you have it? And whenever I explain them why I don't use it (Facebook = bad), they just react with 'install it again' (most ridiculous answer) or 'what is wrong with you' or they just give me a confused look and walk away.

A lot of them also act like there were no alternatives (some even better than whatsapp). One of them and probably also the best one is signal. It has all the necessary features a messaging app needs and is also very secure.

Luckily a few of my friends have installed signal and I am currently trying my best at my parents. They have threatened to 'take my phone away if I don't install WhatsApp again' or 'if you don't use WhatsApp then you also don't need a phone'.

Okay finale:

Fuck whatsapp, fuck facebook, fuck ignorance

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail!

This was something which my tech lead used to tell me when I was so obsessed with nosql databases a few years back. I would try to find problems to solve that has a use case for nosql databases or even try to convince me(I didn’t realise it back then) that I need to use nosql db for this new idea that I have, without really thinking deep enough whether the data in question is better represented using an sql schema or not.

Now, leading a team of young developers, I come across similar suggestions from few of my team members who just discovered this new and shiny tech and want to use it in production projects.

While I am not against new and shiny, it’s not a good practice to jump right in to it without exploring it deep enough or considering all the shortcomings. The most important question to ask is, whether some of the problems you are trying to solve can be solved with the current stack.

Modifying your stack requires more than just a week’s experience of playing around with the getting started guide and stack overflow replies. This is something which need to be carefully considered after taking inputs from the people who would be supporting it, that include operations, sysadmins and teams that are gonna interface with your stack indirectly.

I am not talking about delaying adoption by waiting for long list of approvals to get some thing that would bring immediate value, but a carefully orchestrated plan for why and how to migrate to a new stack.

Just because one of the tech giants made a move to a new stack and wrote about it in their engineering blog doesn’t mean that you need to make a switch in the same direction. Take a moment to analyse the possible reasons that motivated them to do it, ask yourself if your organisation is struggling with the exact same problems, observe how others facing the same issue are addressing it, and then make an informed decision.
Collect enough data to support your proposal.
Ask yourself again if you are the one holding the hammer.
If the answer is no, forge ahead!

I wouldn't say magically when describing a pop-up.

I actually just wanted to say - what a great time it is to be a developer.

C# has stolen so many good features now that it's pretty awesome.
JavaScript and typescript are really fun to work with.
I really love angular.
Docker is great!

I can setup pipelines and deploy an angular app for free and really easily with github-pages.

I can use linux inside windows.

I can use cloud providers to do all sorts for really cheap.

I can plug my cable-free oculus quest VR headset into my laptop and build a game pretty easily with unity (thanks to all the great oculus helper prefabs).

I can use tesseract and data science technology inside my browser!!

And I can go to medium and udemy and learn all sorts of things.

Honestly...

Just saying.
I'm actually really loving being a developer right now.

And if I do have off day, I can rant on here!

Going on reddit while the code is compiling... And not realizing when it finishes.

Weekend as a service!!

You know your idea was shit when you ask a freelance dev to make it for you, get denied and then see your idea being ranted about on devrant...

Boss, on a Saturday: "Here's some code to upload."

Me: "Bruh..."

Jack and Jill
Pulled down from git
To fetch aPaleOfWater.c
Jack made some changes
And then pushed them all up
A merge conflict occurred
Jill decided his changes sucked
And push --force over his
Jack was enraged
For history was changed
And force pushed Jill
down a hill

Sell 1000MB drives at the price of a 1000GB drive, and some people may think its a typo.
I'm about to get rich.

This is why my bro is my bro.

I'm in shit with money and rent, so my mate gave me £10 for food and offered me a desktop (I had to sell my laptop) so I can make a bit more money doing software development.

Humanity may be an overall pile of steaming dog cum, but there are some great people in the world

When I take a break from ranting, this is where you can find me.

All good stories start with "when I pushed to production on a Friday..."

For a person working on databases AI is Auto Increment.

Maybe if I get a "world's #0 programmer" coffee cup people will think I'm under qualified to hack their Facebook...

I think Linus Torvalds would be up there in the top 5 ranters list if he had a devrant.

It’s not quite @AlexDeLarge creativity but some of his swears are certainly pretty full of imagery.

DevRant idea: a dedicated section for people to show off their personal projects To inspire other devs

Yo.

His palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
Bugs littering his code already
Cold spaghetti 🍝

He’s nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to git push

(Hit a blank with thinking of code-related lyrics, anyone got ideas?)

Just realized there is a 'Reply' button in devRant.
...
...
I always memorized the username, quit the comment window twice to spellcheck..

Happy rant.. life is going to change forever. I'm going to be a dad! Operation : Kiddie QA team... Is underway :D

Bought a 🏡.. o.O 🎉 Yaaay!
Soon™ I'll have a decent home office! & a 🐈 & a 🐕... maybe.. I hope.. (:

Friday, I got a mail from my PM shortly before I wanted to leave. Basically it was, hey can you check out whether this issue [which I hadn't even heard about] is somehow related to our system? Meeting is in one hour.

My answer: I guess not, otherwise I'd have been in the loop much earlier than one hour before the meeting.

I shut down the PC like a boss and went into weekend.

I've always been a tech fan....

I guess cooling down CPUs is just my thing...

When you spend a weekend building your custom rig, but the inner fanboy conscience takes over 😜

This morning I saw the announcement about new avatars... but I was a bit disappointed because I feel it was missing something... something that I have recently requested a few times....

So I've taken the initiative to create a prototype what I would like.

Anyone else want this?

My favorite thing about completing a project is closing a bazillion browser tabs.

If I changed girlfriends as often as I changed JavaScript libraries, I'd still be looking for a girlfriend.

Cuz I try and avoid using JavaScript.

I've only experienced a quitting coworker once.

In a previous job a coworker quit with the words directed to the boss in a very loud and aggressive manner: "Ich künde, du verfiggti pissmorchle!!!"*, while throwing around office chairs and swearing all kinds of nasty stuff.

My boss at that time was indeed a fucking wanker. He exploited the shit out of every employee and expected from us that we work overtime for free. No pauses were paid, eventhough he'd had to by law.
I don't have to mention that he was a sexist fucktard and 3 female ex-employees sued him for sexual assault.
Sadly he is still in charge of that wanker company and he "miraculously" dodged every "bullet".

* trigger-safely and roughly translated to: "I quit, you fucking wanker!!!"

beep beep I'm a sheep

Take 5 min break to stretch now and stay hydrated pals.

Just a friendly reminder.

The support staff at the Apple stores are called "geniuses". If being able to factory reset an iPhone is called being a genius then call me Einstein for being able to write code.

Every single group chat I'm in has started talking about multiple things at once and I'm always SOOOOOOOO tempted to make a comment about multithreading but then I remember that nobody else will find it funny. I NEED MORE PROGRAMMER FRIENDS.

@dfox should split devrant into categories.

-rants
-advice/help
-weekly rants (already there)
-dev memes

Then people can just read rants or whatever they want without other things getting in the way.

Down vote can also be used if something is in the wrong category

I have seen it. They say it doesn't exist; just a story we tell our children so that their innocence does not lead them down into a nightmarish adulthood from which there is no salvation. But the evil lives. So vile that were you to look inside its soul, all you would find is a terrible desperation for suffering. To cause it. To revel in it. To bathe in the tears of those it considers less than human and feed off the emotional detritus.

It was 2009. The financial crisis. I was one of the lucky, having found refuge in a large company right before the jobs dried up. General IT: system administration, documentation, project management, telephony, software training, second level help desk. No software development, but with a two-year-old at home and Ph.D.s lining up outside the local Olive Garden whenever a help wanted sign was posted, I grabbed the health insurance and entered into darkness.

The Thing did not need to hunt it's prey. A manager title with 21 reports brought it new opportunities for fresh meat by the hour. But I was special. I resisted. I needed to know my place.

My first mistake was incomprehension. I did not understand the Thing's lust to be right at all costs. I was reviewing some documentation it had brought forth from its bowels. I mentioned that two spaces were being used between sentences. That proportional type made that unnecessary. It insisted, I was wrong. It insisted that Microsoft itself, the purveyor of all good technical writing, required two spaces. I opened the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications that it demanded its staff use and showed it that the spec was one space. It was livid. I was a problem.

From that point on my work life became exponentially more wretched. I was given three Outlook calendars to maintain: one with my schedule, one with the team's schedule and one with the Thing's schedule. Every time I had an appointment, I was to triple schedule it. If I was going to be away from my desk for more than 15 minutes triple schedule. Triple schedule my lunch, vacations, phone conferences.

Whenever it held a meeting, I and a colleague would be taken off mission critical IT projects to set tables with name tents and to serve as greeters as attendees arrived.

I was called into its crypt to be told never to say anything in a meeting unless I told the Thing beforehand what I was going to say. Naive, I mentioned that I often don't know what I will say as it is often in reply to someone else. Of course the response was that I should not say anything.

I would get emails 10-20 times a day asking about a single project. I would regularly complete work that was needed to be completed ASAP, only to have the Thing rake me over the coals for not completing it a week later. And upon resending the emails proving I notified it of the work being competed, disparaged at length a second time for not sending repeated notifications of the competed work.

I would have to sit in two-hour meetings to watch it type. Literally watch it try to create cogent thoughts. In silence.

I received horrendous annual reviews. At one, it created a development plan that stated a colleague would begin giving me lessons on the proper ways to socially interact with personnel. I pointed out to HR that this violated privacy concerns and would make the business liable in many areas, not least of which would be placing a help desk person in the role of defining proper business practice. HR made the Thing remove this from my review. She started planning to remove me.

I had given a short technical training to a group of personnel months earlier. Called into its tomb I was informed that feedback surveys on my talk were disturbing. One person stated that they did not think I was funny. Another wrote that I made an offensive statement. That person did not say what the offensive statement was. Just that I had said something he or she didn't like.

The Thing interviewed the training attendees. Gathered facts. Held three inquest-like meetings where multiple directors peppered me with questions trying to get me to confess to my offensiveness. In the end the request to fire me was brought to the man who ran the business at the time. The statement on high: "Humor is a subjective thing. Please tell This to be sensitive to that."

The Thing had failed, but would no doubt redouble its efforts. I had to find a new job. I sent hundreds of resumes. Talked to dozens of recruiters. But there were no jobs. And I had a family. And the wolf was at the door.

So I didn't say a word to the creature. For six months. Silence. At one group meeting it shrieked at me "what are you smirking at? If you've got something to say then say it!" I just shrugged. For my salvation was revealed. The Thing could not stand to be ignored. And at the end of my penance I was transferred to another group: Software Development.

I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.

When I finish my code I always think: "I am a genius!!"
But when I see the code of my friend...

Noob: "Hey guyz! Im now a hacker! Look at this cool script"

Legit programmer: "oh wow! How does it work?"

Noob: "I have no idea. I found it on the internet "

LP: .........

Found this on Amazon.
For non-germans:
"Programmers don't make a mistake, they just create new Features!"

I always find it more productive to have at least two ongoing projects at once.

That way, if I get stuck on a bug/frustrated with the first project, I focus on the second and more often than not, when I go back to the first project I realize that I had made a dumb mistake and keep going.

I thought meditation was more like putting myself in “airplane mode”. But in reality it felt more like a DDoS attack!

Got my first response from a company i applied to a few days ago--it was a no without much explanation as to why, but at least they actually responded.

Honestly I gave Apple a chance and bought an iPhone but oh my fucking god i’m going to throw this overpriced piece of horseshit they call a phone so hard at steve job’s grave that CNN is gonna report it as a meteor strike

OH MY GOD DID I JUST HEAR A .ai DOMAIN ON THE RADIO?!

this can’t be happening.

It’s such a buzzword that someone spent the millions required to get the tld ALREADY.

sudo save planet —from stupidity

I fucking hate december. It's as dark outside as in a hobo's ass standing in a tunnel during a solar eclipse and there is "love" and "friends" everywhere.
Time for some nordic doom metal.

Team: Qt doesn’t let us build the UX we have in mind. Web is the future.

Me: what do you guys recommend ?

Team: Electron! We vote for Electron!

Me: Alright, who know JavaScript here?

Team: ...

Would you rather...?

1) Be bored in an ethical company.
2) Be active in a corrupt company.

'This basically sums up everything I know about sports

Cracked phone screen on a cracked phone screen...

Samsung appears to have become a pyrotechnics company without telling anyone...

My colleague and I have 12 years of college and 10 years of experience between us. Can't figure out how to connect a fucking phone headset.

Found somewhere. Author unknown

My favorite part of devRant is that I always feel compelled to [read more]. This is real life. Sometimes a proper rant can't be summed up in a witty phrase or two.

Don't you just loathe the moment when you are about to paste something you just copied, you have the text to replace all highlighted and shit...
and then you accidentally accidentally hit Ctrl-C instead...

FML

Not a duck, but what do you think?

Karma Story

2 motherfuckers that were absolute shit as managers applied for a position for the web tech manager at my institution. I was the one that Xed both their applications.

Now, I didn't do it out of pettiness, I did it because both of these assholes lied about their positions, responsibilities and knowledge.
One of them washed his hands on a project stating that he had no knowledge of web development, but stated on his resume that he was working as a web dev at the time(in node and asp.net) as well as angular frontends <--- fking bullshit

The other stated that he has been coding all his life. Yeah shitbag, that is why you were selling phones at a company and when i mentioned to you that i studied comp sci you said that it sounds interesting but you had no idea what development is or how computers even work.

There were many. Might say fuck it and just take the position for myself. Shit got funny af and it is amazing how being a shit person and a liar will get back to you and bite you in the ass.

Fuck them

Stop making "aesthetic" changes in modules you're not working in. Your naive "add proper..." commit just brought down the whole system.
Thank you for half a day wasted and a pissed of client.

Apple are annoyingly out of touch, has anyone seen the iPad Pro advert? They run the ad where a kid asks 'What is a computer?' and it boils my blood because a tablet is basically a computer. I get the point they're trying to make but assuming that 'a post-PC world is closer than you think' is a bit far fetched.
I mean are they planning on discontinuing the iMac? I don't think so. Annoying and smug ad for their touch screen computer.

Got moved to testing last week, (due to lack of testers) being a developer it requires a whole different mind set to test !!!

But running selenium scripts and again verifying manually sucks.

But what hurts the most is rejecting something that you approved during peer review 😱🤭

Just arrived! Time to ingest some common sense 🤓

When notifications decide to play hide and seek on iOS 11 beta!

Can't tell if that is our burn-down chart or the PM got drunk and played with an etch-a-sketch

That oh shit moment when you just installed arch and exit your root shell after creating a new user for yourself only to realize that you didn’t add yourself to sudo group.

*logs back in as roo——*
*password incorrect*
*tries again*
*password incorrect*
[repeat about 5 more times]

Fuck.

So apparently I made the SAME typo twice while setting the password and then the first login was a lucky third typo in a row.

Gotta reinstall now. Glad I didn’t have any desktop environment installed yet.

!rant
This is a nice community and this app is a great too. No ads or promotions are also there. So how does app manage financially ,i know there is a swag store but is that enough .As community gets larger, more resources are needed to keep everyone happy ryt ? more servers etc..
Will there be a different model when this expands ?

!dev

devRant has a good design, but am i the only one who finds the refresh button a bit unsettling? Would anyone else prefer something else?

If I have to look at a file hierarchy I'd rather see it in the damn terminal.

cd + ls > double clicking, okay?

Filthy casuals :-/

Who the fuck writes a 200 line method with 52 if/else statements, 3 try-catches, 6 loops and only 1 comment saying //Array of system records. No dipshit I thought that was a Fucking interface. What happened to the whole keep it simple notion?!

Anybody ever have a client treat you like a garbage slave and then actually _cry_ over the phone because you quit and now they don't want you to stop working for them?

ALMOST HALF AN HOUR SPENT TRYING TO LOG INTO MY FUCKING RASPBERRY PI OVER SSH.

you know what the problem is?

I’m not gonna tell you because I want you to feel the agony too.

> be me
> want to set up a nextcloud instance on pi to play with
> boot up
> ssh pi
*enter password*
*password incorrect*
^tries like 60 more times with different things
> pulls HDMI out of PC
> connect to pi direct
*please login*
*enter password*
Hackerman_voice_im_in.mp3
Wtf.xml
> check the logs
>try login from phone
Fuckyou.jpg
>Tries resetting password
Fuckyou-final.jpg
>tried logging into other pi
Fuckyou-final2.jpg
>*wtf’s harder*
Andthenithitme.png
>type @ sign
Pi: “
> OHHHHHHH

Code it in binary

(My friend claims to code in binary, is this an actually applicable thing or just a novelty thing to impress people?)

I should really write documentation for my old projects...
Meh. I'll do it tomorrow...

Don't start crying when you feel programming is not for you. Learning new is always hard. Just "behave" like a Rhino.

@dfox @trogus how is Appcelerator working out for you guys for cross platform development?

I’m going to be making/totally rewriting the mobile apps for an online service this summer and I’m looking into options.

Currently I’m considering Xamarin, React Native, and Flutter, but I looked at the devrant tech stack page and began looking into appcelerator. What made you guys choose that? What’s the experience like?

Also if anyone else has arguments to make for any of the other three go for it! I’m a fairly new (compared to a lot of people on here) dev but Im pretty confident without programming knowledge and I’m just curious what the industry recommendations/people’s opinions are.

Thanks devrant, you’re awesome!

So yeah...

God: you qualify for reincarnation. What advice from past life do you want me to retain in your memory ?
Me: never forget to write those unit tests!

I wish devRant add a poney as a pet (floor) 🦄

What the fuck

I just saw an ad for a RetroPi on Craiglist and they're trying to charge $300 for it 😂😂

The fact that I have to convert a 90s-ish design into a WordPress theme despite the boss trying to convince our client that WP's shit and we should do it in something else doesn't tilt me as much as it should.

But what DOES tilt me and piss me off is the fact that the shitheads told us to 'make the design better', and so I tried; I made one of their graphics responsive by only designing it with CSS (and for once, I even made it work right) because they wanted a mobile-friendly version but failed to supply a mobile-version PSD so I had to improvise and they had the balls to tell my boss that they're 'disappointed that we failed to follow the guidelines'.

Did you bitchsicles even bother to hire a proper fucking designer who would know how to fucking design a PSD to convert into HTML? There's no fucking grid, the design's all over the fucking place like your mother after a Viagra-fueled Friday night bukakke party at an old home and the colors are an eyesore like your own fucking selves if you ever bothered looking in the fucking mirror. Fuck you all to hell.

Excuse me while I nuke my Yahoo account from orbit...

-Is it a bug or feature?
-No.

!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.

Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...

A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.

A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....

game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡

Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant

Just a bit.

I think I finally found a reason to have a phone with 8GB of RAM.
So that when TWRP craps out on data decryption and decides not even to ask for a password, at least I can push a whole fucking ROM into RAM to unfuck the phone. Because why not?! Why on Earth would software work properly when you can just throw more hardware at it?

Long live FBE, TWRP what craps out on it, and you remember those things.. SD cards for data storage? I could've used an unencrypted SD card so fucking badly right now, you know... Long live soldered in storage that's encrypted, "for security". Except for when the person who owns said data actually wants to use the bloody data.

FUCK!

I think someone deserves a sticker if their rant gets 100 --'s because hey, at least they tried

Gotham...

why, oh God, why do you have a scene in SE01 E17 at 9:20 min into the episode, where

J.Gordon uses reading glasses to a screen of an old B/W TV and magically is able to read a logo brand of a jacket.

How did the glasses add hundreds of more pixels to the resolution behind them.

This has ruined it for me, not watching now. Even Mission Impossible where they say "use DDOS to take over their systems" is better than this.

Fuck NYC....just got hit with a fucking parking ticket for double parking. $115. *sigh* *pets cat in sadness*

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter. Its a hardware problem not a software problem...

I just want to make it clear to all of us here...

Not every goddamn thing is a bug from X or a bug from Y most of the time I, Us, We as programmers fucking make mistakes or don't know the issue because it's vague!!! IT'S NOT A FUCKING BUG!!!

Junior dev: Can I run lint on your codebase
Senior dev: hmmm
Jdev: Its a very nice code inspection tool
Sdev: Go ahead
Jdev: wow 50 errors
Sdev:

Building on my last rant, a friend told me that resizing the partition caused the blocks to be no longer aligned, whatever tf that meant. So i adjusted the partition table and reboo—-

Grub: OHAI THERE, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO USE A GRUB RECOVERY SHELL? NO? WELL FUCK YOU BECAUSE HELP ISNT A VALID COMMAND HERE. FIGURE. IT. OUT.

A rant a day keeps the ______ away.

Its not a bug

I will make a programming language named SNAKE so everyone will stop to make jokes about PYTHON

Anyone else think favoriting a rant should give the author some extra ++ or a counter in their profile?

I'm on a trial day for a new designer job. Now i'm tasked to implement my screen design into html. I feel so lost.

//Not a Rant

Jakub Steplowski, thank you for this updated UWP app. The time you spent fixing the bugs was worth it!

!rant
@dfox maybe add a "type" field at the bottom of the rant creation screen so people can classify rants as rant or !rant and not have to remember to type !rant (maybe auto-prepend "!rant")

Plus it would be nice to have the option to filter out non rants if people want to

Any one else have a problem buying gadgets they don't need? I just bought an Amazon Echo and not entirely sure what to do with it. I also have about 6 waiting to be shipped from kickstarters

You think it's counter-intuitive to start a post with !Rant, then rant? 🤔

Guess who has 2 thumbs, half a brain and lost his job today...

Quick Tutorial: How to find a missing bug.

0) Wake up & have breakfast
1) Goto work
2) Do your job until the end of the working day
3) Make a backup
4) Shutdown your PC
5) Stand up
6) Go to the office door
7) Grab the door
8) Now the phone rings
9) Turn and go back
10) Take the phone
11) Now you get the bug report

This is a well approved method.
It always works!

Why you would sell your company to Microsoft too!

1. Your company is so succesful， the valuation is so high， only a handful of companies could buy it.

2. Running a company takes a shit load of energy， and most normal people hope to relax at one point in their life.

3. People at the head of major international companies are not normal humans. They like do over work and they have one goal. Be number 1.

So good successful people sell to evil and more succesful people.

And when i say evil， i really just mean that being number 1 is more important than ethics.

Edit: spelling.

Devrant needs to add a censorship that changes "fuck" to "fsck" because technology

That feeling when you spend hours trying to fix something, only to give up.

Then you come back he next day and find you were missing a comma...

Big Brand Company

Wasted 2 days on induction about what to do and how to do.

After 2 days, Reach at workplace and called my line manager (LM). after 2 3 calls, he pick the phone and said please reach to 3.2L5

Now what the heck is this term how the hell I know what means by this magical number. It was never told in the induction that what building name is denoted with.

Called LM again and now LM annoyed at me and said to enter into building and ask for XYZ person ..I asked whom I need to ask..He said ask anybody..

When I enter I ask a security guard there and he was like numb...There are fucking 5000 people in the company.How someone will know by name..Is that guy is superstar or something?

Again called the LM, Now he yelled at me. ..Why you are asking the security guard ..I said he do not allow me to enter so what I need to do..I requst him to please guide me as I am new and nervous here..

Again no luck ..Asked already 4 to 5 people..

Finally one guy who also joined with me, helped me to reach the guy.

LM was actually running late and when he reach, I came near to him 2 greet ans he again shouted with loud voice " What are you doing man"

#firstDay

Double dark theme!

!rant

I just did a thing. Signed the contract for buying my very first apartment at age 21. So fucking stocked, and feel bad for my wallet

Oh shit. Did @Harambe just revive himself into this devrant form?

FUCKING HELL!

I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.

Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh

I am a lazy ass dev.

All I would make is a way to control my machine by thought.

I could then proceed to spend the rest of my days developing in bed, ordering food online and never having to move a single muscle ever again.

This is a personal rant, not a devRant. BUT ITS STILL A FUCKING RANT.

Anyways, I don't have a lot of friends. In fact, only one. That one friend used to pull of his moods on me, and I was more or less okay with that. When he was in a bad mood, I didn't annoy him too much. However, I expect the same from him.

Today he really triggered me badly, and at some point he knew he should just leave me alone. We were in a LoL lobby, and went into the Discord where I could hear how he is dragging me down, saying I'm an asshole etc. As a result of that, I left the lobby, and heard him say more bullshit. Then he talked about how he left at another server, since they were assholes and excluded them.

At was at that point were they deafed me. Meaning, I couldn't hear nor what they were saying or speak for myself. What is this bullshit? I mean, if your fucking best friend does this shit to you, how can you have faith or trust anybody else? It's just really fucked up, and fucking bullshit, and like the only place where I can vent off is here.

What a fucking piece of shit. And I keep forgiving him.

all documentation points to an Invalid auth token being code 400 (ignore the fact that this is a code in the JSON response and not HTTP)

Me: here iz credential. Plz send datas
API: haha fock off and die mate, then credentials you got there aren’t workin’
API: code 998 invalid auth token
Me: *speechless* so that’s why it took me longer than it did to find that error, because YOUR CODE WAS MISSING ALL MY CHECKS FOR CODE 400.

Why can’t people design apis properly.

> be me
> be developing a react native app
>realize the iPhone X notch is clipping your content on the first/home screen of the app
>google says: simple fix
>find a built-in react native thing to add safe area padding
> refresh the app
> ohno.png
> the other screens with navigation bars already have built in padding
> TOOMUCHPADDING.jpeg
> remove safe area thingy
> finds a clever, not particularly hacky way to pad the home screen without showing the header bar by setting its height to 0 and the color to match the content background
> more-problems.app
> there’s a small 1–pixel light colored line separating the header from the content clearly breaking the otherwise continuous single color background
> google.sh
> wtf.txt
> stackoverflow.html
> no responses except something I’d already done
> keep experimenting
> tries basically everything to figure out where that line is coming from
>sets borders to thicccc and bright red
>no bottom border? Ok that’s not it
>opacity?
>forgetaboutit.mov
>try shifting the header position around by a few pixels? Maybe it’s misaligned with the white parent layer underneath?
> nope.jpg
>it’s past bedtime
>Sleep.jpg
>thenextday(today).zip
> what about the content? Is that misaligned?
> nope2.jpg
>Maybe its an iOS feature not a react thing?
> make a test Xcode project, completely native to test
> negative.dng (pun intended)
> more-furious-googling.mp3
> find a native iOS stackOverflow question with the same issue (1px line)
> realize your Xcode test wasn’t done properly.
>atleastimmakingprogress.iso
> start looking into the SO post
>it’s native so I have to find out how to do it in react-native
>invent a bunch of style parameters that don’t exist in the documentation to see if there’s an undocumented thing
>loadsaloadsaerrors.log
>googles for a react native version of the iOS only SO post
> somethingpromising.tar.gz
> *tries it*
> “Haha nope” -my code
> whataboutthisotherthing.bin
> KENSISHSBUCNEGWISBVSIDNRVSIDNFIRJRBDKFNFIDJFIFKFNR
> HOLY FUCK
> IT WORKED
> AFTER TWO FUCKING DAYS OF SHITTERY AND SHENANIGANS
>AND MANY STACKOVERFLOW EDITS TO A NOW VERY MESSY POST
>THEREISNOMOREBORDER(final).zip
>*screams of relief*

I need help.
What excuse is there for a bug *in* a feature?

Finally switched jobs after 7 years, with the expectation to have bigger workload then at my previous job where i almost fell a sleep.
To find even less workload at my new job, asked my manager if i could do something extra because i'm bored.

To get the answer that i don't have permission to do extra work for a half year, because they think its already a big workload for a new employee and they don't want to give me a burn out..
Sigh... what to do... any ideas?

I think we all need to create a clear definition of "hacker"

Motherfucker

One does not simply install a macOS security patch on a hackintosh without everything going to snit

Now I have one recent backup and am trying not to fsck anything else up

Having the ability to bend computers to my will (most of the time).

Playing Space Pirate Trainer and using two zappy sticks (voltorbs?) is a surprisingly fun workout. It also makes you look like an idiot dancing around waving your arms in the air. 💃🏻

Robot dance party!

Follow up to the follow up rant: ubuntu broke.

I tried searching for my git client I had installed: not found.

: Git status
Command not found (even though I’d used it less than an hour earlier)

*restart to see if that fixes it*

My laptop: STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT UP LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL TTY LOGIN SCREEN WITH NO GUI WHATSOEVER. THANK YOU THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Today I heard my first "This is a feature, not a bug" from a enterprise which gives us a SaaS.

They were damn serious, and never in my life I wanted to punch an IT guy so hard in the face more than today

Shouldn't be there a position called "Document Developer"! who's job is writing documents throughout the whole sdlc processes? Also expanding comments written by the coders. The only skill needed is English MVC framework!

!dev but it is a fucking rant.

Happy new years fucking 2018 already turning off great with me freezing my fucking balls off cause my heater aint fucking working. Top it off my Damn Hotter Than Hell Water Heater froze and i have no hotwater. Fuck somebody find me that son of a bitch 2018 where i can take it out im the woods and shoot that dickheaded cocksucking asshole.

I'm a developer, member of the A-Team. Actually I'm the leader of the A-Team.

We are incredibly skilled. Our problem solving capabilities is amazing, almost 100 times more effective than the rest of people. We produce code 10 times faster and better than anybody else. We have THE knowledge.

We can save the company in case of emergency.

For that reason, it's of paramount importance to nurture and protect the A-Team.

- When there is a bug, A-Team will not correct it. Because, if A-Team is busy, and bad shit happens, the company could be destroyed and we couldn't help

- When there is some important features to develop with a deadline, A-Team will not participate: A-Team must stay alert and ready in case of emergency

- If huge catastrophe happens and long hours, night and weekend are needed to fix it, A-Team will not risk burning the A-Team because it's the only high skilled team we have. The company cannot afford to have an A-Team member exhausted, underpaid, unhappy leaving or sleepy. Therefore, the company will sacrifice other less important people.

A-Team is company biggest asset and must be protected in any kind of situations.
The company should also pay training for them in order to increase their skills and make them unreplaceable.

These are my conditions. I'm the leader of the A-Team. You can't afford to loose me.

I read an article that says stress balls are far less effective for stress relief than punching your PM on the face.

They should have included a warning...

DevRant needs a bug bounty program where they give out stress balls

Based on all these data loss rants about repartitioning drives after 10 pm, I think we need some software that stops you from doing destructive actions when you may be tired and/or don’t have a backup.

MySiteRunsWithNoJsSoHa.js

I made that request a month ago or so, not long after i started to use devrant more often than any other app, and i can say only that i am glad that i pressed "install" that time when i found it in the GoogleStore.

Thank you all for making this community more like a family than a refuge!

Truth is i feel a little bad now for doing that but i might be able to repay the founders and all mambers of this community somehow, someday. And i am looking forward to do it 😁

Cheers!

I was going to show my boss DevRant. Due to my quick thinking of past and future rants pertaining to said boss, I decided not to. Quickly switching to Instagram seemed like I was in the clear, I just had to find a funny picture of... a DevRant ad... "Oh what's that app? Didn't you have that one?"
Then a client walked in!!!
Never have I been, nor will I even be, so relieved to have a client storm into the office!

Getting past my impostor syndrome
Finishing a project
Having a few hundred users on my projects
Having fun in the mean time.

I don't completely master a language.
I just know the logic behind it and I make use of it.😇

In follow up to my last rant.....

A friend just informed me that I should enable dhcpcd to get networking in arch...

I was typing dchpd......

why don’t I read things more carefully

I’ve been at this for hours and I just installed ubuntu alongside arch because I need my laptop for tomorrow. Ugh

Full stack isn’t about knowing just a backend and little bit of JavaScript. Turns out a bunch of them who applied this week seem it have derived a new meaning for it!

Throwing around terms like “I am exploring MEAN” doesn’t make you sound cool unless you have some working examples that you have built with it.

Which was the worst talk with person of yours in tech field?

For me:
Seen a person want to upgrade his processor to i7 from i5.. just like windows update...

my fist job... i get to edit a c++ code written by a (mind you) programming company that they teamed with for the past(mind you again) 3 years ...
now just for starters, this code was edited by self taught coders that are really good engineers(they are really good), that didnt really know how the code worked before yet they still changed it, and it worked, how ever they wanted some changes.
i get the project files, and there is not one single comment describing what is happening... only code commented out... and no documentation what so ever were done....
so below are some of my comments that i wrote after i finished adding what i had to add, and fixing what i had to fix:

/*first rule of C anything coding, no actual functions in the header, well let me introduce you to a fully functioning thread running program all in the header, enjoy*/

//used to control the thread
// i honestly dont know why, but it worked soooooo yea...

// TG uncommented // for absolutely no reason what so ever...

//used to communicate with the port

//the message to be sent to the inverter, which has a code that will handle it
//hmmmmmm...

//again not usefull since we are using radioButtons
// same ...
// same ...
// same ...
// they said they dont even use this mode, but none the less, same ...
// calculate the checksum for the message
// ....
// one of the things that work, and god forbids i touch
// used for the status displayed on screen
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// not used at all, but the message structure contains it and i refuse to edit that abomination
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// just dont ask and roll with it, i didnt want to touch this
// saaaaame ...
// if before true this saaaaaame ...
// value of the (censored :P)
// it pains me to say it again, but this is no use
// (censored :P) input
// (censored :P) input
// only place seen , like for real it was just defined,sooooo yea :D
// well you know how it is
// message string
// check sum string
/****below from feed back****/
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P)
/****below is the output to the receiver ****/
//(censored :P)
// (censored :P)
// (censored :P)
// (censored :P)
//you thought we were done.... nope, no idea. it comes in the feedback
// not used, literally commented out the one time it was used
// same ...
// XD, man this is a blast, same ...
// nope ...
// used to store the port chosen for the communication
// is a static for the number of data we have recorded so far, and as a row indicator for the recording method
// used to indicate the page we are on in the excel file, as well as the point in physical point in the test
// same ... oh look at this a positive same :D
// same ...
// same ...

Junior dev here. Finishing a boot camp, actively going through a few job application processes.
One of the companies has given me a tech assignment (for a Graduate Junior position, mind you) that was titled Full Stack Mid Level Challenge. It took me a week to build an app they asked and do analitycs and refactoring of the second part of the task (I only had late evenings free to dedicate to that), it was my first time doing back-end in Node (my boot camp teaches PHP) so I basically learned to do it while doing this challenge.
They asked testing and clean architecture.
I submitted the assignment (I thought I would die while doing it, exhausted, I think I was brain dead for a short perio of time, but I submitted it on time).
They got back to me and we had already have a tech interview with the Leads that had live coding at the end. Don't have feedback yet, really won't be surprised for whatever comes, it was literarly my first interview, treating it like a valuable learning experience.

But. This rant is not about this. Thsi is just to put you in my mood.

This is the !rant:

My classmate from the bootcamp is probably already hired, or will be one of these days. As a tech challenge she was asked to do FizzBuzz kata. I repeat, FizzBuzz bloody kata!
Now, I am very happy for this person, the situation is complicated and this job is extremely needed.

But, please, explain to me, HOW??? How is it possible that selection criterias vary that much?

End of rant. Thank you very much.

If a lot of people are programming something a certain way, should a person also program it the same way?

I have consumed far more chips and guacamole than a normal person eats in a year...

#Devfuel

For me it's mostly ego boosting when my work and effort are validated and appreciated.
One time during the employee evaluation I got a very good feedback and a raise. Not much, but at least I didn't have to ask for it.

Our QA process consists of only manual testing so I started to implement unit tests for all the new projects I started on. Even though my boss is all in favour of improving our development process did he grumble a bit that it takes too long. But it did feel good when I told him that I managed to find a few bugs thanks to the unit tests that I wouldn't have anticipated otherwise. Now it's expected that all my code is unit tested.

I got a small boost when I gave my colleague an off-the-cuff mathematical proof for a challenge similar to AoC. It was targeted at schoolchildren and he did it separately to his kids. He was so impressed that he took a photo of the proof to show it to his kids.

Does devRant come in a liquid form? Because i consume it with my coffee every day...

Ah, when you run into a bug that only has 7 google results, and have of them is in Russian for some reason. Gonna be a long day.

HOLY SHIT

FINALLY

AN APP THAT LETS ME USE FIREFOX I STEAD OF SAFARI ON MY FUCKING IPHONE

ITS NOT THAT DAMN HARD APPLE. YOU DID IT FOR THE MAC...

also devrant, plz add browser selection for iOS (yes I already submitted a GH issue)

<notarant>
Just got my class schedule for freshman Computer Science. Find out they teach C++ for Programming 101. Guess I should stop using C for the next couple months and buy a C++ book.
</notarant>

That feeling when your newly added calculation module now has 93% code coverage in unit tests, with the client working on a test case for the last bit.

Anyone have professional advice for a relatively new and young dev (me) on how to develop a cross platform app for what is effectively a startup?

I’ve basically been indecisive over the past few months and I thought I’d decided on Xamarin but flutter looks better and more productive and ughhhhh

I don’t really know what to pick and I want to do this right the first time.

"Technology, only as good as the dumb shits who are using it" - London has fallen

Spends 6 hours trying to fix all the bugs...

Missing a comma on line 3...

Does the ease of “hacking”/breaking AI scare anyone else?

I remember a slide from a security presentation I saw once where there were three sections, the first was an AI classification of some animal with about 60% confidence, the second was a small grey static (think old tv static type thing) with a label next to it saying 10% and the third was an AI classification of the first picture overplayed with 10% of that noise and it had 95% confidence that the animal was COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

Adding just 10% noise and AI goes batshit crazy. (No it was not a bat afaik)

THINK ABOUT THIS IN TERMS OF STOP SIGNS. WELP.

Not-a-bug posts are trending!

WHAT COCKSUCKING LUNATICS DECIDED TO MAKE A PDF ONLY ABLE TO DOWNLOAD WITH JAVASCRIPT.

I CANT DOWNLOAD YOUR FUCKING PDFS TO SIGN BY TONIGHT BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS MY IPad. WHICH DOESNT FUCKING HAVE JAVASCRIPT

THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE TO USE JAVASCRIPT AND THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM. GO CASTRATE YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY KNIFE

Fuck copy-pasting. I just spent WAY too long trying to figure out why == wasn’t working to compare strings in python when I discovered that I had accidentally pasted a trailing space into the database entry causing it to not be equal

FUCK

Is there a single programming language that no one hates?

What should be the correct name for a person who posts on devrant?

Do drugs n weeds help in becoming awesome at coding and especially hacker? ...

Asking for a friend.

If you're reviewing someone's code, do you run/test the code before reviewing the logic? Or do you review logic before running the code?

After seeing all these photos of people in stores full of rubber ducks, I just want to start a rubber duck store for the sole purpose of meeting devs by asking anyone who takes a picture if they are a dev.

Maybe this will be how they hire devs in 20 years...

OH MY GOD REFACTORING FEELS SO AWESOME

I just finished spent 4 weeks of crazy busy summer camps and I get back to a project I was working on.

Refactoring.gif

It feels so awesome to just effortlessly move stuff into methods and have it work pretty much first time.

To be fair I’m the only one working on this right now so I pretty much already knew the code but still holy cow it’s so much simpler now.

Moral of the story: Appreciate your time off and use it to unwind and let your mind wander to more creative heights before taking advantage of it after and only after you get back to the project

People posting their (not so good) workstation. Post it if you code on 3 widescreens, 9 monitors, a gaming rig or if your debug duck is a ducking (pun (maybe)) dragon.

A laptop on a 10 inch table is pretty sad.

People sound like they hate their jobs here. What's your favorite part of being a dev? I like the idea of turning an idea into a real thing

need some advice

i resigned from my job today , it was my first job worked 2 years here.
i kinda wanted to rest a month or two is it a good decision or i should look for new one immediately

The sign of a good joke is when you get someone to spill their beer... (See my last rant)

Dfox should make a script to pull all the creative curses from devrant and publish a list of them.

Like search for every standard curse (fuck, shit, cunt, etc) and then print them out with the five or so words before and after it to hopefully capture most of the longer creative swears.

I wonder if being a developer was originally thought of as an undesirable position...

"We need to pay people to sit at a computer all day writing code, sometimes skipping meals, getting less sleep and dealing with all our clients shit"

that moment, when you want to reply to a rant and find it deleted..

So my current PC is named the tesseract for its power and squareish case shape.

I just had a thought that if I ever seriously upgrade it or build a new PC, I should name it Thanos...

Holy shit this is creepy.

So I just got back from a team event today from a location that was a few hours away and, while we were at the hotel there was a little cardboard box on our breakfast table with an ad on it. The slogan on the ad was “Bada book Bada boom” it was really dumb and I almost forgot about it, but just now I’m listening to pandora on a completely separate network, many hours away from the location and an ad comes on with the SAME SLOGAN for what I assume was the same company.

Now I’m just wondering how they managed to do that.... I really do not believe it was a coincidence considering I have never heard that ad on my pandora before....

This is fucking creepy

Only after seeing horror stories on devrant do you think twice before rm -rf'ing something

How badly i need a job: I have been considering turning to the worst people ever: recruiters / Headhunters
Yes, i am getting desperate...

Has anyone ever tried to use a devices accelerometer to determine speed before?

The way i plan to do it, it should be more accurate than using GPS. Just wondering if anyone has ever done something similar that i can use