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Got a mail from a recruiter.... offering me a role in a company......where I'm currently working....in the said role.16
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"Hey, Root, someone screwed up and now all of our prod servers are running this useless query constantly. I know I already changed your priorities six times in the past three weeks, but: Go fix it! This is higher priority! We already took some guesses at how and supplied the necessary code changes in the ticket, so this shouldn't take you long. Remember, HIGH PRIORITY!"
1. I have no idea how to reproduce it.
2. They have no idea how to reproduce it.
3. The server log doesn't include queries.
4. The application log doesn't include queries.
5. The tooling intercepts and strips out some log entries the legendary devs considered useless. (Tangent: It also now requires a tool to read the logs because log entries are now long json blobs instead of plain text.)
6. The codebase uses different loggers like everywhere, uses a custom logger by default, and often overwrites that custom logger with the default logger some levels in. gg
7. The fixes shown in the ticket are pretty lame. (I've fixed these already, and added one they missed.)
8. I'm sick and tired and burned out and just can't bring myself to care. I'm only doing this so i don't get fired.
9. Why not have the person who screwed this up fix it? Did they quit? I mean, I wouldn't blame them.
Why must everything this company does be so infuriatingly complicated?11 -
Oh you're a frontend guy? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a backend guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a security guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a devops guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a QA guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're an SEO guy too? Good, we need one of those.
"Well, sorry to say fullStackCraft, but we found your cloud architecture skills just a little too lacking for this position. We really need someone who can do frontend, backend, security audits, QA assessments, SEO, AND build scaling cloud architecture. Oh and while you're at it, can you turn fucking water into gold? We need that at our company too. You didn't get the position, but it'd be great if you could refer us to someone who is very advanced in fucking alchemy. Thanks!"
Absolutely toxic the way software people are treated I swear. The money may be the only good thing that is left.17 -
this image is fully authentic image of me as a single developer in a startup. All the used technologies in a single project.11
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Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.
And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.
And later:
Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.
Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.
And later:
Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.
*twitchy smile*rant useless people you suck because we are incompetent what's a query log? it's all your fault this is super urgent let's defer it ticket notes too long; didn't read17 -
Hide yo' wives and yo' onanism, the haxors are cumin... i mean, coming for you!
Found on Reddit :D10 -
!!rant
!!ANGER
Micromanager: "Hey, Root!
Since you're back, and still not feeling well, we have an easy ticket for you: Rewrite the slack integration gem! Oh, you don't have to re-implement all of it, just make sure it all works the same way it does now. That bitch you worked with once over a year ago who kept throwing you under the bus to management and stealing credit for your work? Yeah, she wrote the original code like four years ago. It's perfect, so don't touch it. but she can fill you in on all the details you need and get you up to speed on how to test it.
But yep! It should be simple. and I just knew you would love this ticket, so I saved it just for you. Nice and quick, too, to get you an easy win.
You know, since you have to repair your reputation with product. and management. and the execs. and the rest of the team. and me. Yeah, product doesn't trust you so they don't want to give you any tickets. They just can't trust you to get them out and have them work. So you have a lot of hard work to do."
Spoiler: The bus-thrower wasn't much help. (Surprise.)
Spoiler: The ticket was already in my backlog -- one of a grand total of two tickets.
Spoiler: I don't find the ticket fun. Maybe if I was to write the entire implementation with a nice DSL? but no, "don't touch the perfect code." Fuck you.
Spoiler: It isn't going to be nice or quick. But, she (micromanager) is looking to lose me, so that really is an easy win. for her.
And. just. argh. fuck you. i've been exhausted and dying for well over a year, but you've kept ignoring that (and still are, despite me providing goddamn legal forms from fucking doctors stating it in plain fucking english, which you also fucking ignore), and you just keep piling on the work and demanding the ridiculous of me despite it. Yeah I can pull it off sometimes. No, I really shouldn't, and I'm surprised I can. (also, "Time off? What, and lower your productivity even more? ____ doesn't even take vacations. And how are you doing on that ticket?") And no, none of my tickets have ever had any fucking problems. Not even when there are upstream service outages. Not. a. single. fucking. one. Ever. And the only things I've ever missed were things that bloody product never put in the fucking ticket, so fuck you with your "repair your reputation" bullshit.
god, i fuckiNG HATE THESESTUPOID ANWETLJAF SAJEWTKW BITCHFACEDUCKFUCKERS
Why the FUCK am I still fucking working here?
Right, because I've been burned out and dying so much I can't pass a fucking interview so I can fucking leave.
jasdkl;fk
ugh. Anyway. If you ever find yourself starting work at a Cali fintech company whose internal mascot is a very fine duck? Just run. I absolutely guarantee you will be miserable.rant root swears oh my micromanager duckfuckers "trivial" ticket root is fucking fed up root swears a lot holy shit rewrite an entire library in 2-3 days14 -
Fuck China.
Fuck the U.S. government.
Fuck the UK and Australia and all the other governments for taking advantage of the crisis of the last two years to get more power and money for their elites.
Fuck them all for starting COVID with their unsanctioned and unethical “gain of function” lab experiments and creating so much chaos that nobody really has a chance anymore at living the life they had dreamed of or so carefully planned for.
Fuck them for the out of control spending and money printing and inflation and even messing around with trying to regulate and tax crypto so we don’t have any kind of escape valve to live a normal, happy life.
Because of them, I can’t even enjoy my time off work. Even if I could plan a vacation that wouldn’t have to be canceled due to an outbreak or resultant supply chain issues, I can’t travel without severe restrictions that make it miserable and not worth the trouble.
Fuck them for making everyone into stupid monkeys fighting over opinions about data that is incomplete, misunderstood, misrepresented, or downright fixed toward a specific pharma-fascist authoritarian outcome.
And fuck them especially for being hypocrites and going to parties and generally not following their own rules they made for us when they think we’re not watching, and then persecuting and prosecuting us when we dare do the same.
Fuck ‘em all. I’m so done.21 -
Ok you fucks that don't believe in documentation - me included.
Document your shit, because one day, one day some dumb fuck is going to have to recreate your over engineered bullshit of a system and scale it up.
What would fucking be useful right now is ANY god forsaken insight into what in the flying fuck your code is doing, or not doing, or why it makes queries to a database with no fucking records in it 🤦♂️ and then attempts to use that data... in case it did exist.
There's nothing like unpicking a mess of bullshit, and documenting it, and then have to remake it on a new platform.
Documention saves lives kids, maybe your own life one day😬16 -
We got the report made by the EU committee that is assigned to evaluate our project (robotics in the service of healthcare).
I was full on trashing the reviewers for writing some seriously dumb shit, and low-key dissing my professor. Until I got to the part where they addressed the work package I was responsible for. They referred to my work as impressive and innovative, and I was like, well, maybe they're not that bad 😂10 -
Stakeholder: There’s a bug on the site.
Me: That’s not a bug. The site is supposed to do that. Your team asked for that feature and we implemented it last summer.
SH: They did?
Me: Yes, they did.
SH: You sure it’s been like this since last summer?
Me: YES!!!5 -
Should I be afraid right now?
Dev: can I swap out an existing UI framework from this codebase for a completely different one, because it doesn't do the small enhancement I've been tasked to do?
Me: ...............
please lord, give me strength in these pressing times.rant what could go wrong it's going to be a good week it's only monday @c0d4 needs a whisky mondayitis has begun6 -
Scrolling on Medium I came across this article, about a girl dating a programmer.. 😂😂 😂
https://hackernoon.com/dating-a-pro...22 -
PhD application saga:
So, the recommenders showed up. And one by one, the letters are rolling in. I am a little hopeful.
And also anxious since there's a mere 4% acceptance rate.
But now, we shall wait...
🐀
*Goes into hiding to anxiously binge-eat*17 -
What do you call it when you type a script? A TypeScript. Then you spill coffee on it...
now it's a JavaScript.4 -
#4 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?
Not a direct co-worker, during a fire drill, a call center manger told all the agents to ignore the alarm and keep working.1 -
I built our slack bot messages so that they are prefixed in BIG LETTERS with whatever system they originate from, i.e.:
"DEVELOP: You are a useless product manager"
"STAGING: You are a useless product manager"
"PRODUCTION: You are a useless product manager"
One of these is when a payment is made on our platform. Our lovely product manager proceeds to message me, "did you just trigger a payment in the test system?".
YES, OBVIOUSLY I DID SEEING AS THE MESSAGE HAS THE GIANT WORD "STAGING" IN FRONT OF IT!!!
https://lmgtfy.app/?q=how+to+read1 -
My CTO prefers to hire very expensive consultants than to trust on staff. It's funny, because he also decided that all technical teams should run on the absolute minimal amount of resources.
You can't imagine how shitty it felt this morning when he sent an email talking about a security consultant that we should hire, just because he thinks the guy could "take our expertise to the next level".
They will charge us 450/hour to run assessments, to find the exact same things my team discovered a year ago.rant consultant fucking moron my cto is a piece of shit we all know this cto should be fired overpriced5 -
Got a complaint from users of my project. It’s finally happened: people give a shit to tell me I’m doing a bad job. Let’s fucking gooooo3
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You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.
What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"
DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!
MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.
my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.
#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!4 -
My department is focused solely on web development. Of course we are part of the major portion of I.T
The entire I.T department got acknowledged for a very important piece of software. That I wrote.
The ceremony in which we were being recognized did not listed MY department, no, they listed the ENTIRETY of I.T.
Thing is, if this product was not delivered, then I was told that the blame would be MINE (I am speaking as the head of my department) but apparently if it succeeded (which it did) it is to be attributed to people that were not even involved in the project.
My employees tried calming me down when I got upset, one of them stated that it was not even our department's effort, but mine alone. And yes, I was the one that developed the solution. By myself, with complete testing, staging, the whole works. Everything, developed by me. BUT my employees held the entire department down while I was behind close doors developing this solution.
I was fucking upset, more so because my director sent an email thanking the entire I.T department for this "win"
I asked him through or messaging service if he could point out to me who else was involved, since I did not know of anyone else that did absolutely anything in this process other than myself and my guys.
Maybe the output of my program was parsed by another I.T department and something happened from it, maybe the money generated by the application (obscene amounts of it btw) were used to add more to the infrastructure etc, who knows, but as far as I know, you cannot say "if this fails it is on you" just for them to later on thank people that were not involved in the project.
This is why I would gladly move on to a different field. I don't want to be patted on the back constantly, I know how fucking good I am at what I do. But if I do something amazing I do not want to see those efforts being given to someone else.
The dev world is usually a thankless industry, but if thanks are given, then I want the sole credit.
If I am winning or loosing I want the whole fucking credit and you can be any more gangstah than that.10 -
"Dad, our fence is down again"
"Dammit us-west-2"
"Sorry sir, we cant install your new furniture until Spectrum turns on your wifi"
"Warning: you have violated twitter's safety rules - we will be unscrewing your bed frame now"
When will they learn5 -
Here I am trying to get some tickets for a theater, and I noticed an interesting thing. It seems that the website holds no session persistence. In other words it doesn't check to see if the user has stopped trying to order tickets, instead it holds the seats for about 30 minutes. This is kind of stupid because when you back out, your treated as a completely new session, you have no way of trying to get back the seats you had chosen.
Sooo, what does this mean? It means that I can start selecting a bunch of seats and continue selecting a bunch of seats. There appears to be no server-side checks to prevent someone from just booking the entire theater.
Soooooo, what does this mean? I could potentially spam the entire country's theaters (any that use this website as a booking system) and make it impossible for people to book seats through this website.
What do you guys think? Is this a bug or feature?7 -
When you ask a short question(in Slack) to your teammate that can be simply answered in Slack and they start a video call immediately after reading your question...
Now you have to stop music/video, clean the background...1 -
How the fuck does a company get away with making a junior doing the work as a senior. I need a raise and probably a beer8
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Trying to buy a house in another state. First time moving out of state, first time trying to buy a house. Making first offer this weekend. Which is terrifying, and exciting. But it’s also lonely because my other half is in the other state looking at houses and I’m stuck here working and taking care of the cats.
Had a poor mental health day yesterday. Got a call today that my mama (gran on my mum’s side) took a tumble and has been in hospital and they don’t think she’ll pull through. I don’t have many memories of her, but the memories I do have are happy ones. She was always full of life and love and kindness.
💔6 -
Someone had a question on teams about a circular dependency warning they were getting. They found a work around that would allow it. Someone else responded with this2
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"So Alecx, how did you solve the issues with the data provided to you by hr for <X> application?"
Said the VP of my institution in charge of my department.
"It was complex sir, I could not figure out much of the general ideas of the data schema since it came from a bunch of people not trained in I.T (HR) and as such I had to do some experiments in the data to find the relationships with the data, this brought about 4 different relations in the data, the program determined them for me based on the most common type of data, the model deemed it a "user", from that I just extracted the information that I needed, and generated the tables through Golang's gorm"
VP nodding and listening intently...."how did you make those relationships?" me "I started a simple pattern recognition module through supervised mach..." VP: Machine learning, that sounds like A.I
Me: "Yes sir, it was, but the problem was fairly easy for the schema to determ.." VP: A.I, at our institution, back in my day it was a dream to have such technology, you are the director of web tech, what is it to you to know of this?"
Me: "I just like to experiment with new stuff, it was the easiest rout to determine these things, I just felt that i should use it if I can"
VP: "This is amazing, I'll go by your office later"
Dude speaks wonders of me. The idea was simple, read through the CSV that was provided to me, have the parsing done in a notebook, make it determine the relationships in the data and spout out a bunch of JSON that I could use. Hook it up to a simple gorm golang script and generate the tables for that. Much simpler than the bullshit that we have in php. I used this to create a new database since the previous application had issues. The app will still have a php frontend and backend, but now I don't leave the parsing of the data to php, which quite frankly, php sucks for imho. The Python codebase will then create the json files through the predictive modeling (98% accuaracy) and then the go program will populate the db for me.
There are also some node scripts that help test the data since the data is json.
All in all a good day of work. The VP seems scared since he knows no one on this side of town knows about this kind of tech. Me? I am just happy I get to experiment. Y'all should have seen his face when I showed him a rather large app written in Clojure, the man just went 0.0 when he saw Lisp code.
I think I scare him.12 -
Have a function that takes parameters and then performs a switch statement to determine what function to call next with those same parameters. One of those parameters is a Union type.
During CR, my reviewer said they’d like if instead of returning the function per case, I instead assigned a handler to the value of the function per case and then returned that handler at the end of the switch. Simple change, right? Only snafu, I’m casting one of the parameters on a per-case basis.
Somehow, through no fucking change of my own, TypeScript in its wisdom has decided that the type of that value by the time I call the next function is a fucking Intersection.
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT’S AN INTERSECTION?! I’m fucking casting it per case! I’m ensuring it’s the right type for the next function called on a per case basis!
…. And that, my friends, is how I wasted a day with a stupid refactor that was ultimately just scrapped because no one could figure out how to make it work.
Goddamn fucking TypeScript. I3 -
Another day, another shitty set of JIRA tickets.
In this week's edition, we run into an issue you'd think is a meme, something you couldn't even make up: three tickets with IDENTICAL titles, but miraculously, they actually refer to three DIFFERENT tasks! (Also comical, they're not bugs, they're tasks, but mouth breathers don't really know the difference, and at this point I just don't have the energy to attempt to explain what could be explained to elementary school children.)
I present a rare look into our national archives!
This document features two exhibits:
Exhibit A: product owner's original ticket titles
Exhibit B: translated-into-competency-because-i'm-not-mentally-deficient ticket titles
Just more proof that 'product owners' don't own shit, the devs are the real ones who actually know what is going on.
I mean just LOOK at Exhibit A's titles. As a big smart manager, do you write those tickets, smile, and say to yourself "Ah, yep, that's very clear, I'll definitely remember what each of these mean literally 5 seconds from now!"
Is asking for literally 30 seconds more of thought too much to ask for? Apparently.
Just kill me
Happy friday ☠️7 -
Hop on a call without taking a shower....
Client requests to turn on video for a face to face conversation......
Happened twice
¯\_(ツ)_/¯9 -
!rant
It‘s just amazing how much a proper type system and a modern language makes refactoring a good dev experience.3 -
Getting "bug" tickets from customers complaining about EXACTLY WHAT I DESCRIBED WOULD HAPPEN. THATS NOT A F&)$*(%$(*# BUG, THATS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD WHAT I WROTE IN THE TICKET LAST WEEK YOU F&#*(@#$() NEANDERTHAL PIECE OF SH$%*(#(*)!!! WE AGREED ON THIS EXACT BUSINESS PROCESS WEEKS AGO. DO YOU EVEN READ THE WORDS THAT I WRITE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA5
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I am a weird dev. No urge to rant really, mostly internal frustrations if any.
Today I had my first meeting with the client and it went smoothly - I showcased demo in the current state, they approved, asked a bit more about the technology and that's pretty much it...
I know, I know... I'm just starting and it's gonna change but, idk why, I think I'm in a good work environment.1 -
Inspired from Jase's face reveal, doing it again for me new friends.
Image in comments (so I can remove it later for privacy reasons).5 -
A few days ago, a guy sent me a message on Fiverr asking me to create a website.
The good joke is that they are two engineering students who want me to do their programming exercise.
The nerve.2 -
"I need the login credentials for the CMS service"
*sends the email confirmation email*
"No, I can't confirm your email for you. In plain English: send me the email and password to login."
"Ohhhhhhhhh"
Literally what the fuck is wrong with these people.
I swear we're all fucking doomed.5 -
My mans literally just wrote "Our company was under a hack attack" in an email.
What a time to be alive.10 -
Server admins hate printers. Network guys hate phones. A fax machine is just a phone pretending to be a printer, worst of both worlds.2
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It sucks when a better company offers you a better role once you are signed a contract in lower company.11
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Thinking about switching jobs...
Do you prefer working in a smaller startup sized company, a bigger more settled one, or as a consultant?18 -
One thing that @scout taught me is to wear the oxygen mask myself before helping others. Oh she is a sweetheart.
This advice has stuck with me since and slowly & steadily, I am regaining my lost confidence and self love.
Remember, how I was struggling for clarity a couple of months ago? But now, I feel more clear in head.
During the start of the pandemic, I joined a community of corporate normies. I used to live happier until that decision.
That place made me ultra competitive and I subconsciously became a rat trying to win the race. I damaged myself more than I benefited.
I joined at the time of inception. Every core member is a good friend.
Now the fun thing is, they moved to Slack. Many of the core members run the community as admins.
While I don't engage much, but talk to some of them occasionally.
One key area is, running a job board to help people get jobs. And another is mentorship to help the members overcome challenges and grow in their career.
In DMs, literally every core member who is doing this for others is struggling themselves for the same. How fucking ironic!
They seek help and advice from me and vent out their failure frustrations.
Imagine, someone who isn't able to solve their problem, let alone solving it first before helping others, is guiding the community of few thousands to excel in their careers.
Fucking brilliant.
One of the biggest life lessons @scout taught me, wear your oxygen mask first before helping others.48 -
Hey, all you shitty devs who give my Udemy courses 1 or 2 stars with no comment or feedback
FUCK YOU!!!!13 -
Devs who use the array map method for purposes other than generating a new array, and who use an empty return statement to satisfy the linter, should receive a slap in the face. A gentle one, but a slap nonetheless4
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How to find out your boss really thinks you suck and that he was planning on letting you go at the first opportunity and hadn't yet figured out how to do it:
1. Realize that you're overworked and overwhelmed.
2. Proactively ask for a reorganization of duties and provide two alternatives with several helpful suggestions about how to organize the work so things still get done, but it's not all on you.
3. Mention quietly that you recognize a third option exists of no longer working there but that you...
4. The boss interrupts you at #3 and basically asks, "How soon can you write your letter of resignation?"
Damn, bro. You could have paused for a second or two before hitting me with that. -
"Hey, we've made these deprecating changes for the whole company"... "but no migration guide, deal with it"rant lambda clowns clown driven programming cdp clown engineering clown driven development clowns in the cloud 🤡 clown as a service2
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I made that request a month ago or so, not long after i started to use devrant more often than any other app, and i can say only that i am glad that i pressed "install" that time when i found it in the GoogleStore.
Thank you all for making this community more like a family than a refuge!
Truth is i feel a little bad now for doing that but i might be able to repay the founders and all mambers of this community somehow, someday. And i am looking forward to do it 😁
Cheers!4 -
Company Emails that tell you
who they are
what believe in.
How they were the market leaders since the stone age.
what their values are
what their holistic approach to life is. How they are diversifying inclusiveness to include diversity.
And how all of this bull shit ties into you being a ideal employee of the organisation
Just to get you to fill a damn form.
Makes me wish the next attempt at human extinction succeeds.4 -
When a company reaches the point where ya need to do welfare checks and send out a link to a crisis helpline at Christmas, y'all gone fucked up so many times you're putting a band aid on a broken arm.10
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Oh look, the testers are using a production version of something when they should be using the TESTING version
iT DoeSnT wOrk!!!!!! aAaAAAaaaA
And the cycle continues...2 -
For the love of sex, can someone help me out??!!
There is a VS Code extension that helps in creating a step-by-step tutorial of a codebase. Can someone please tell me its name?!
Google is a bitch today.6 -
Had a fine day, but all of a sudden existential dread kicked in.
Then I noticed a bug right next to me, got a sheet of paper and let it out. Thanks for lifting my spirits2 -
Bossman told me to give my project more hierarchy and to add all those weird __init__.py files.
I don,t quite like all those boring empty files, so anyone got some bri'ish language "innit?" jokes or other awful puns to add as comments?8 -
Got sent to a meeting to overlook the purchase of a new system for one of our departments at work.
The meeting in question was made to go over technical requirements, you know, making sure that everything was in order before a formal decision was made.
I get to the meeting, the vendor had consisted of your standard American sales reps before, standard Joes, Steves and such.
Had to reschedule the meeting because the technical spokesperson had the thickest accent in the world and I could not make sense of anything that he was saying. Neither could my coworkers. The tech person was 100% not from the U.S, and that is cool, but I could not make sense of what he was trying to say.
Oh well 🤡 -
Once upon a time i have seen a block of code in a while (2 > 1) ... it was in C (or so i remember), but still...2
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We write our feature specifications in Gherkin, so it is clear to every member of the team (even nondevs GASP!) exactly what each feature should do.
SO WHY THE FUCK, AFTER BUILDING THE FEATURE, DO I GET REVIEWS FROM THE pRoDuCt MaNaGeRs, SHOWING ME THEY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE FEATURE. YOU WROTE THE FUCKING FEATURE DID YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART MID THOUGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO SICK OF IT I'M SICK OF WORKING 12 HOURS ON A FRIDAY FOR YOUR STUPID SHIT2 -
I have a complex about my nose. I was about to bite the fucking bullet and do something about it. Literally just waiting for the procedure room to be ready, when I kept asking myself wtf I was doing. Then looked at my nose again and realized that it really wasn't that big a deal. Not when compared to dealing with internal bleeding and pain for weeks, plus a painful procedure.
Even after all these years, all these accomplishments, all this experience, I'm still a dumb fuck.
Now then, I'll go put some of the money I didn't waste to good use. Like videogames, hookers, and blow. Probably just the former.5 -
Speaking of "living"...
When was the last time you looked up in the sky and admired the beauty of its deep blueness or the beauty of the clouds floating up there?
We live in a beautiful world. And yet we spend our lives dawn-to-dusk staring at things made by ourselves rather than enjoying what's already there - the beauty all around us we don't bother to even think about, not to mention look at it.
No, I'm not a spiritual person. I just really love the world around me :) Not people. Not technology. Pure raw nature and the mind-bending balance of EVERYTHING in it.
So... when was the last time you've admired what's out there, rather than what's in our artificial world?7 -
Before lockdown/quarantine: work 12 hours a day.
During lockdown/quarantine: work 12 hours a day.
After lockdown/quarantine: work 12 hours a day.
FML3 -
Confucius says: not everything that can be done tomorrow, should be done today.
Let's just say it was an extension of the shit show that occurred this week and sweep it under the rug 🤐
Happy fucking Friday!!!7 -
So, after reading a post I started wondering...
Would you prefer to work in a toxic environment but have a good salary or work in a good environment for minimum wage?
I'm in the second position right now.9 -
real story. In high school, a librarian (women) recommended me a book. I read it in classroom, it was fine for the first half and then.... the real story began.
It was 50 shades of grey.
It's been about 4 years. I'll soon be completing bachelors. And I've yet to return the book, out of shyness.9 -
FUCK YOU PHP, FUCK YOU SYMFONY AND DEFINITELY FUCK YOU SHOPWARE.
Don't get me wrong, PHP has evolved a lot, but the stuff people are building with it is just the biggest load of fucking shit I have ever seen: Shopware. Shopware is the most ass-sucking abomination to extend. It's nearly impossible to develop anything beyond "use the standard features and shut the fuck up" that is more sophisticated than a fucking calculator.
The architecture of this pile of crap is the worst bullshit ever. A mix of OOP, randomly making use of non OOP concepts and features together with the unnecessarily HUGE amount of useless interfaces and classes. Sometimes I feel like it's 90% fucking shitty boilerplate shit.
And don't get me started with TWIG. It's a nice thought, but WHY THE BLOODY FUCK WOULD YOU NOT USE VUE IF YOU ARE ALREADY USING IT FOR A DIFFERENT PART OF SHOPWARE. This makes no fucking sense whatsoever and makes development of new features a huge pain in the ass. I can't comprehend how people actually like using this shit.
OH AND THE DATABASE. OH MY FUCKING GOD. This one is bad. Ever tried to figure anything out in a database where random strings (yes MySQL "relational" - you might think) that are stored as text in a JSON format make up some object or relations during runtime?? Why the fuck do you have foreign and primary keys if you don't use them properly??
Seriously you can't even figure out which data belongs to what because the architecture just sucks fucking ass. FUCK YOU Shopware wankers, you suck, your product sucks, your support sucks, your architecture sucks and you keep releasing new versions that regularly break shit even in minor versions.
I used to like PHP, but not in projects like these.6 -
Tailwind CSS is a big threat to CSS developers, because now a mere mortal can implement a design on a website on par with them.7
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I chose my next milestone as a dev. I’m gonna ask a question on stackoverflow. I just need a question 🤔10
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Yesterday was one of those days where I felt like punching a wall. A lot disappointments but here’s to a better tomorrow 🍻1
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Company A (mine) is building a site for company B, company B employs company C to manage their inventory database, company C exports inventory as JSON to company A, company C says, this field (SKUs) will be an object (skus = {...}) when it only has 1 value, but an array (skus = [{}, {}, ...]) when there are multiple SKUs, company A (me) tells company B to tell company C to ensure it's always an array.... company B is scared of company C and company A (me) is always cleaning up company C's shit6
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Remember this post of mine: https://devrant.com/rants/4537512/...
Now this happens. LMFAO
https://linkedin.com/posts/...
If you have time, go through the entire series posted by Mona.8 -
What do you get when you combine a greenfield project with a brownfield project?
A stinking pile of compost.2 -
Recruiter: We are looking for a full-stack expert. You have taken multiple apps from conception to deployment, and have experience and opinions on the best technologies to use and why. You should be comfortable implementing new features from scratch, making changes to existing features and writing complex migrations on production data.
Dev: lol4 -
me: builds a python-script to transport data in .json-format into a config-file written in .xml for a coworker
my boss: "I am glad you have earned yourself a reputation as the 'programmer' in our team" -
when a senior likes to kick up a fuss on PR reviews, you'll do whatever dumbass shit they want in most cases, assuming it works
but its a relief when a tech lead or architect tells them to fuck off -
Fun Fact: It's physically impossible to run a .bat script on a remote Windows machine as admin from a Visual Studio post-build event.6
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DoorDash wants its non-driver staff to dogfood the product.
lol. ok.
https://sfgate.com/tech/article/...20 -
As a JS developer I wish that when I import a package, a list of all the Jquery methods comes shipped with it 🥺12
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I just experienced a new level of wut at my job. Web Engineering has a Google group email. This morning someone at work sent us an email about canceling a work order (and he didn’t know how to cancel it)…for a plumbing issue 😑Wrong engineering department, my dude. And you can cancel your work order by going to the request system where you submitted it or the email receipt of you request, which was certainly not to this Google group email. You have the work order number, so you must have an email somewhere about your request. And how’d he get this email?? I’m seriously wondering if this is a weird phishing attempt.2
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I had to contact technical support for an API. I’m pretty sure I was emailing with a bot because I was getting all sorts of stupid replies.
Me: I’m using your SDK for language X. It’s returned null for some properties. In the user portal, I can see there are values for those properties for the transaction. I don’t know why I’m not receiving them on my end.
Tech Support: Hi! I see the following was sent in the API response. [Sends api response to me.] You can also go the the portal to see those values.
Me: Yeah, I know. You just repeated everything I wrote to you. I don’t want to go to the portal. I told you I want to figure out why your SDK doesn’t seem to map those properties correctly when I receive the api response.
TS: Let me look at the docs. I think you need to send the properties you want in your request in order to get them back in the reply from the api. Such as <property>value<property> in the xml message.
🤨 The docs do not say that. They don’t even imply that.
Me: What the fuck?! That makes absolutely no sense. We have already established that the api **is** returning values for those properties. I want to troubleshoot why your SDK is mapping them as NULL. -
Me: [buys couch online and chooses in store pickup]
Website: Thanks for your purchase! Due to local laws on bag fees, you are being charged for 6 bags at the price of 5 cents per bag. These are the estimated number of bags for the size of the item you purchased. You can have this fee refunded when you pick up your purchase.
Me: It’s a couch. You can’t bag that. 😵💫5 -
Just fucking hate how expensive and hard to find a cheap SMS gateway
And as in cheap, I mean cheap as send email
I found Cheap Global SMS and it doesn't have a professional website nor a good API but it is way more cheap
Downside? I must pay with a payment gateway made by the same company (coincidence?)
And NO WAY I'm sending my id to a payment gateway that no one uses
I'll try sending some random image to see if they accept it
But, still, no confidence to put my credit card in there3 -
So... Quick question, how do I enable Devrant plus again?
Had to stop behind a supporter 2 years ago cause of unemployment, now I want back in :p3 -
Lol, installing an Abp package literally breaks startup, you don't even have to use the package, just install it and the shit breaks.
God I hate this bloated piece of shit framework, can't wait to move this codebase to Go. -
computers are fuckin weird sometimes.
Was just playing some hacking game, where each level is it's own user, acessed by ssh.
And suddenly copy-pasting passwords when prompted doesn't work ...
like, I can paste it in my terminal to see it, it can manually type it ... but I can't paste it into the prompt anymore.
It always worked until today, I could swear that!!
Why not today?3 -
See a trick question,
There is always a man of the match in Football.
There is always a man of the match in cricket.
Therefore, there will also be a man of the match in tenis.
Comment below.2 -
Working at home has made it to where a task that used to take me a couple hours takes a couple of days, should I get a co-work office space?2
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Take a walk, or focus on something else for a while, then after I've had a break I can return to whatever the problem is.
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I wonder which is worse:
1. all day long every day doing things you MUST do and running out of hours in the day to do them all
2. all day long every day doing things you WANT to do and running out of hours in the day to do them all1 -
My last raspberry pi just died, now I gotta pay a super inflated price for a new one in a month because they’re sold out everywhere14
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I feel bad for bootcampers. Their schools tell them to apply for a job even if they don’t have all the qualifications because they will learn on the job. That’s fine if you’re applying for an upgrade in the same career path. But when you’re changing careers, a lot of jobs don’t necessarily have time to invest in you like that.
I do have respect for those who DM me on Slack and ask if the job is open to new bootcamp grads. At least they are taking the initiative to ask and not sulking that they’re not good enough.
I tell them “this role requires experience in x. If you have that, then apply” because I don’t actually know they’re not qualified.
I was like them before. It’s hard to get the first job and sometimes it’s a lot of luck. But the first job will make getting the next one easier.
At least they’re not recruiters trying to convince me to pay them to fill the role.1 -
I’m side-eyeing my apartment building’s management for emailing me a non-password-protected document that includes my Social Security number. 🤨4
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17,000 USD a year?! That's outrageously high (for a Philippino)!! This dev must either be a god or they're ripping us off!
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Go for a walk or run outside. Get a fellow dev to play a game on the company xbox. Stop the task and start a new task from the sprint.
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Why the fuck can we have nice things? Atom was a perfect match for my work, extremely practical and the extensibility of it was amazing.
MS deciding to starve that project from resources is very shitty.3 -
I know this is not a de devrant, but I had a girlfriend for about a year. And today I found out she cheated on me twice the last few weeks.
How should a programmer deal with this?5 -
I had a little question about recruitment:
What would make you consider a position with a relocation package? What kind of arrangement/security would you like?3 -
WTF I just found out I have to add slides to the slide deck for Friday’s department meeting. Event has been on the books for a month and they send a “reminder” email that’s actually a first notice for me. Well not my problem because I have PTO scheduled already. My manager is going to present on my behalf.
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So I have this new role at work, still app development with some added responsibilities. Nothing major. But already I'm noticing what could be a pattern.
Zoom meetings that could have been phone calls or emails. Meeting was setup a week and a half or so in advance. Had real a meaning last week where a team member mentioned it and reminded the other team members of the upcoming meeting. We all confirmed that we'd be there.
I get a notification that the meeting is in 15 minutes. Meeting time!!! So I log on, only to see one person from the other company, two more people from said company log on then my team member. But to my surprise him and I are the only people from my team on zoom.
My team member then goes on to waste this poor man's time asking him questions that he doesn't really have the answers to and I'm here just wondering why.
Why isn't this meeting a 2 minute phone call?
Why am I in this meet?
Is my team member bored?
How does this make my company look in the eyes of these people?
Now I know why my other team member didn't log on. They smelled the rat and knew this would be a wast of time. And me being new to the team walked right into it 😐 -
if you don't want to give root to a process how do you write a test that requires root ? :P its a paradox.14
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If React was a vagina, it would be a fake one. Artificial. Fleshlight, but a cheap knock-off. With mold inside.3
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Yo, Copilot moving to a paid model?
They were smart, let us use it for free for a while then grow a dependence and BAM, need to pay.17 -
What do you call a programming language with a version of 3.14159?
π-thon
Coincidentally this is also what you call a snake that is 3.14159 feet long.1 -
num = float ("input a number:")
if num>0:
print ("it is a positive number")
else num=0:
print ("it is zero")
else:
print ("it is a negative number")1 -
Everyone’s first computer seems to be a genuine piece of history.
Mine is a laptop from 2008 that I still use as a media hub for my TV. -
Having only recently upgraded my mouse to something with more buttons I realise I've been seriously missing out. A button to copy text, a button to paste and a button to take a screenshot has just saved me precious time.1