ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?

NOT A RANT

My brother is teaching himself how to code. Couldn't be prouder

Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

Not mine, but pretty funny ^^

Recruiter: Hi, i'm recruiting for xyz, your profile looks like a great fit. Would you be interested in discussing further?

Me: Hi, your company website says you only have an office location in Berlin. I've marked my profile as not interested in relocation, only interested in jobs in my country and said the same in my description. Are you expanding to my country?

Recruiter: You are correct, this role is based in AMAZING Berlin. Are you interested in relocating?

Me:

Clearly not...

Does anyone else read:
!important
as
"NOT important"???

RAGE. FUEL.

So just saw this course online the logo and title are two different languages not the best first impression

Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.

Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.

Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.

Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.

Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?

Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.

Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!

Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.

Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.

Me: FML

Today, I finally had the opportunity to say to a client: "It is not a bug, it is a feature".

No, seriously, it is a feature.

The moment you realize you're just good at googling and not an expert in programming...

That's when the internet connectivity is down!

My gf caught me unguarded after she told me that she has some updates for her webpage, right after I did the last updates. Massively amused. Not! 😅

C'mon guys, it's really not that hard

Source: Reddit

Best HTTP 404 Not Found Error Ever !!

404 wall not found

So I have implemented all the features required for the current release. Carefully reviewed my code several times, but no testing.

Tester: everything passed green. Not sure whether you're a good dev or I'm a bad tester.

Me: let's call it a draw.

I like you if you're not a dev.

I like you if you're a dev.

I don't like you if you're not a dev but you try to act one.

Me, in the zone, staring at the code. Co-worker enters.
Co: hey, can you...
Me (not really listening): no.
Co: it's just...
Me: no.
Co: later?
Me: no.
Co: but...
Me: no.
Co: (leaving)

Room Number Not Found

Not a dev post, just wanted to share :) just for your viewing pleasure - My first pics taken using a low budget camera and ‘scope.

"Do not disturb"

Viber is not responding.
Firefox is not responding.
Sublime is not responding.
Clients are not responding.
Motherfucking life is not responding.

What is WINE?
Wine Is Not an Emulator.

Okay, but what is WINE?
Wine Is Not an Emulator.

2 mins of silence for all those rants you composed, yet you chose to not post it.

People always say how they lost couple fucking hrs because of a bloody ';'.

You know what.. '!' are mush worse.

I just lost 2.5 hrs debugging because i had written if(x){} instead of if(!x)

semicolons you can find at compile time.
! are the true morons

I see my boss interested in learning new languages as if it is gonna be some sort of holy grail but his logic remains the same.

I'm in a step of my life that I finally understand that this language fight is a total waste of time:

PhP is fucking delicious to deploy

Java is fucking delicious to work with spring boot

Python has a fucking delicious syntax and I wanna marry it

Go is fucking delicious to outperform others

Anyway, my point is that when you get the hang of it you should learn concepts and improve your logic instead of hoping language x is gonna save you, its not.

Not using blockchain to color my cryptocurrencies pink so that my AI knows which cloud computing would be best for GDPR

not rant

I code in python.

You know what I realized we should always say no for demo driven application development.

We should always ask for enough time do a proper development and if its not enough, shouldn’t write a single line.

Because once we deliver a working demo. Its release ready for them because its FUCKING WORKING..

And trying to explain why this is just a demo and cant be put to production is even bigger pain in the ass than saying no in the beginning.

LESSON LEARNED .

The bad thing today: I killed my laptop with coffee.

The good thing today: it was my company laptop, not my private one.

Teacher: hey, your good with computer programming, right?
(Thinking I finally have a chance to prove myself programming wise.)
Me: yeah, Sure
(Trying not to blow my own trumpet)
Teacher: great, can you fix this word document for me?
FML

I was once working for a company as a part time dev in the centrum of my city.

After working there for almost 1 year I noticed that I didn't get paid the last 2 months. I think it was about 500 euro's. (1 day per week).

So I went on my bike to the company to see whatsup. I came into the store and told my boss I hadn't been paid for 2 months. Even tho I did work.

He then got so angry! Just started yelling "YEAH BECAUSE THE PROJECT ISNT NEAR COMPLETE, NOTHING IS WORKING" I explained him the panel still had to be configured and that everything he asked me to do had been programmed and he then fucking told me he wanted it a different way even tho we clearly discussed it WEEKS AGO and he clearly said what he wanted. so he wanted dont revisions. I told him that this is not possible at this moment because holidays are around the corner and I want to go om vacation. (and he too!!!)

He then got so fucking angry he said "come with me for a second" we walk to the door of the building and then he just pushed me out of there and kicked me in my back.

I got so fucking pissed, I opened the door and asked him if je thinks this is a normal way to discuss. He closed the store door again, and I couldnt hold back anymore. I threw my full can of Red Bull against the glass door. The can exploded, and his whole fucking window had energy drink on it. He took some fucking steal pipe, so I walked back. But while trying to get away I jumped on his store sign. Which broke into pieces (they are quite expanasive). He came outside with his fucking pipe and he was trying to hit me. We had a crowd and people started yelling at him. I walked away but the asshole took my bike and put it inside his store. So that I couldnt leave.

So than I called the cops and reported him. For minor assault and some other things. Shortly after I deleted the entire project from his stupid server.

I really dont know this kinda shit happends, he probably felt like I didn't deserve that money even tho I did everything he asked for within deadline. Trying to solve it after vacation was also not an option. I signed him up for a few news letters after that.

The day you finally realize that you're not crazy because everyone on devRant experiences the same problems you do.

404 post not found

Who shares this struggle?

I have a 9-5 development job and I also have a personal web application I am building and plan to bring to production.

There are simply not enough hours in the day. I struggle to find enough time to work on my personal project while still performing well at the 9-5 and spending some time with my family so I'm not absent.

Agh I wish I could pause time for productivity 😂

Stupid shitheads among the web designers, fucking listen up. Your fucking design is not the point of websites - the content is. You are not supposed to shove the content away to have your moron design shine in its purest debility.

Yeah I know, white space minimalism yadda yadda, clean interface - and you dumbasses just remove functionality to simulate a clean interface, to the point of using hamburger fuckups on desktop. Pull your heads out of your asses, that's not how to design an interface! Not to mention that you idiots still guzzle through the megabytes and dozens of domain lookups for your chickenshit minimalism.

While we're at it, not everyone is 20 years old like you youngsters - you won't believe it, but there is life beyond 40, and while such age is unthinkable to you because you are so dumb that you will hardly reach that age anyway, others on this planet have managed to get there. No 20/20 laser sight, you know.

Fuck you with your light grey thin fonts on white background because it looks "clean", it just SUCKS you wankers. Fuck you with your stupid ghost buttons that don't even look like a button. You know how to operate the shit you made, but reality check here, users spend most of their time on fucking other websites than on the abomination you have designed!

Get that into the shit bubble that you call your brain and read WCAG 2.1! That's not only for disabled people, but everyone will be able to use that shit better!

Never try to learn a new platform that uses a language you are not really comfortable with while expecting to build something during an hackathon.
Never.

The original idea is not mine, but I can't tell you how much fun I've had with this

Ok, do you sometimes feel like you get treated as search engine? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

My coworker from my previous workplace is messaging me to suggest about good tutorial about a framework that I'm not familiar about.

"Dude, have you heard about Google?"

Rate my new do-not-disturbe-while-I'm-coding-dart-powered-device 😂

!dev related

Wife is not pregnant......

.....we have been trying to...STAY LIKE THAT FOR A WHILE NOW and after a big scare I was really worried :v we have one kid already and that Is how we plan to stay until I start my business.

These are the best news I've had all month.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Overheard guy on the bus: "...but I don't understand where variables go in memory."

It took 100% of my will power to not pop over the seat like some muppet to sing song about stacks and heaps.

I'm lost. I am so used to calls saying people broke things, I feel weird that I'm not annoyed with someone's idiocy...

Help?

Oh Boy!! Just thought this is an app for tutorials and how too stuff.. now noticed it's better than reddit... Catched my self spending hours here and not doing my work xD

Linux... Is shitty... Ok it just is. I've tried all kinds of variations and they all just... Urgh

Now I know... I know devs are meant to love it ... But compare it to windows

(Yes windows fucks up more) but when it works it works.

... Windows isn't perfect... But it doesn't try to be.

Linux has that feel of... Clearly made by a dev... It works consistently but doesn't take into account how people want to use something...

Linux is something you have to learn to love. And I'm sure I could.
But with windows it's intuitive it's straight forward

I feel like if I was to pick up windows having never used it... I would know how it works. I could at least use it go online and watch videos do the basics... In Linux ... No it's not as easy, sometimes not possible

An os you should just know how to do everything you want to do, and not have to download tonnes of shit to get it that way

It is, the future... But holy fuck get your act together Linux

**Evolution of Cursee's Search Queries**

Chronological orders from 2007 to 2018

- internet not working
- wifi not working
- wifi not working on ubuntu
- wifi not working on ubuntu XX.xx
- install wifi driver ubuntu XX.xx
- install Realtek rtl88xxxx on ubuntu Xx.xx

!rant
Schrodinger's Rant: It's both a rant and not a rant until it is decided in the comments.

Walking PM through what not to click during demo today..

not really a rant, but but i am intrigued...

got an email that my rockstar account (gta) email was changed.

changed the email and password and noticed that all the details were changed (nickname, date of birth etc) and the guy even posted on support asking to remove steam link (probably could not login). But rockstar requires a screenshot of user logged in to steam (as if that is hard to fabricate...), so he gave up :D

i'm not even mad, i'm wondering what's the guy's story. Probly bought a stolen account for cheap, hoping to play :(

Maybe i should just let him play the game, since i'm not...

THIS IS A PHP JOB BU NO THIS IS NOT YOUR MUM AND DAD'S WORDPRESS SITE!!!!!!!!

Recruiter: Hi practiseSafeHex, you were speaking to one of my colleagues recently and I know at the time you said you weren't interested in interviewing with us. I just wanted to check is that still the case?

Me: Yes I haven't changed my mind since last week. You still have awful things on your glassdoor page for my country, and its still a role / area i'm not interested in. Please read my responses and please fuck off

Do not disturb must be the most beautiful, underated and underused feature ever.

1. Still dying.

2. Withdrew my application for some job saying "the environment seems unproductive". I'm proud of me. I've never withdrew an application whenever I was unemployed so this is a first. This time it wasn't them telling me I'm not "the right fit" and I kinda feel like I should do this more often but like what if I could survive the hostile environment and earn something instead of literally continuing looking for jobs and this is giving me anxiety and I'm rambling but I can't stop oh my god what have I done... 🤧

No, I do not wish to work on your Scrum-managed project.

I do not wish to contribute to the Taylorism of my profession.

I do not wish to be an interchangeable cog in your software sausage machine.

I do not wish to be tracked by some pointless metrics like a call-centre worker.

I do not wish to bust my tight, cute ass to sprint after some idiotic management request that could have been factored in earlier.

I do not wish to obtain some piss-ant qualification that "authorises" me to do my job.

I do not wish to be party to your lie that technical debt will be avoided by refactoring---whatever the cost.

I do not wish to contribute to the death of software engineering to have it replaced by software development.

Agile? Sure. I can pick up the phone and talk to the client, users and fellow devs. After all, that's what it FUCKING MEANS. Communi-fucking-cation.

See that burndown chart? See your anus? Know what's happening next?

Fuck Scrum and every fucking bottom-feeder that is scamming a living by promoting it. You're killing this business.

Hugs and kisses,

Platypus

Not a duck, but what do you think?

When I get on a site that is like “your password must contain upper case, lower case, a number, a symbol”, at first I’m like ooook, security I guess I’ll generate a long password, but then they sit there and say “and be at least 6 but not more than 10 characters”

WTF you fuckers really don’t know anything do you.

Context: a co-worker had sent an email and was worried about possible collateral damage.

Co-worker: uhm, you know how it is when something just doesn't feel right?

Me: sure, every time I clock in here.

Last week our department drama queen was showing off Visual Studio’s ability to create a visual code map.
He focused on one “ball of mud”, vilifying the number of references, naming, etc and bragging he’s been cleaning up the code. Typical “Oooohhh…this code is such a mess…good thing I’m fixing it all..” nonsense. Drama queen forgot I wrote that ‘ball of mud’

Me: “So, what exactly are you changing?”
DK: “Everything. It’s a mess”
Me: “OK, are any of the references changing? What exactly is the improvement?”
DK: “There are methods that accept Lists. They should take IEnumerables.”
Me: “How is that an improvement?”
<in a somewhat condescending tone>
DK: “Uh…testability. Took me almost two weeks to make all the changes. It was a lot of work, but now the code is at least readable now.”
Me: “Did you write any tests?”
DK: “Um…no…I have no idea what uses these projects.”
Me: “Yes you do, you showed me map.”
DK: “Yes, but I don’t know how they are being used. All the map shows are the dependencies.”
Me: “Do you know where the changes are being deployed?”
DK: “I suppose the support team knows. Not really our problem.”
Me: “You’re kinda right. It’s not anyone’s problem.”
DK: “Wha…huh…what do you mean?”
Me: “That code has been depreciated ever since the business process changed over 4 years ago.”
DK: “Nooo…are you sure? The references were everywhere.”
Me: “Not according to your map. Looks like just one solution. It can be deleted, let me do that real quick”
<I delete the solution+code from source control>
Me: “Man, sorry you wasted all that time.”

I could tell he was kinda’ pissed and I wasn’t really sorry. :)

Time Not Found! :P

When you forgot to escape characters in regex and wonder why the fuck it’s not working for 2 hours. 😖

Why regex must you be a living hell!

Proud Windows fanboy - If something is "Not responding", try "Task manager". Then everything is cool

But you see, it's actually "Task manager" that is "Not responding"

Bootcrap. Just looked at their main page, and it's a whopping 75k of markup plus 294k of CSS (W-T-F?!), and 224k of JS. All of that shit for a page that shouldn't be more than 10k of markup, 16k of CSS, and that has no reason to even use JS at all.

<a class="d-flex flex-column flex-lg-row justify-content-center align-items-center mb-4 text-dark lh-sm text-decoration-none

Yeah, that crap is supposed to be "easier" to write. That's what you get for totally failing to understand how HTML/CSS even work, clinging to late 1990s practices, and ditching decades of progress since then.

Although the Bootcrap folks do manage to write valid HTML. As low as that sounds, but that counts already as an exceptional skill in the notoriously low-skilled frontend "dev" world that is all about making shitty websites.

Oh, and the rest like Failwind and Bulimia aren't any better. They already fail at delivering valid HTML on their websites.

The fact is not funny at all

Just used my first "It's not a bug, it's a feature" explanation 😂. However, the irritating part is, I had to explain it to another person from IT industry (I mean testers) who is from another company.

And it's really a feature and not a bloody bug. Stop reporting it on the bugs list 😥

System design meeting with the client.

Client: We need feature X in the design document
Me: But feature X was not a requirement, so it's not in the document and we will not add it.
Client: But feature X should be a common feature today.
Me: That doesn't matter, it wasn't a requirement. And besides that you don't even need it today, the planned system doesn't even support feature X, so we couldn't implement it, even if it was mentioned in the design document.
Client: But we may need it some day, and what do you do, when we decide to enhance the system in a few years and we need that feature then?
Me: Then we make you an offer for feature X.
Inner me: You ordered a bicyle and now you want it converted into a delivery truck next year without charge. That's not how things work.

Some of my colleagues realised that I have a devRant account. Of course they peeped into my smartphone screen when I was reading some weird stuff on devRant. They went on to install devRant and uninstall it the next day after realising that it is not 'Tinder of Developers' :D

if(devRant != Tinder.developers()) uninstall;

Haha

Here's a real tip for people new to the industry.

It's one of those things that's been said over and over again but very few can really seem to employ. I suggest you learn it /well/.

You are not your code. Criticisms of your code, ideas, or your thought processes, is not a criticism of YOU. You absolutely cannot take criticisms of your work personally.

We are engineers. We strive to seek the best solution at all times.

If someone has found a problem with your code or with an idea or whatnot, it is coming from a place of "this is not the best solution", NOT "you're an idiot".

It's coming from a place of "I'm closing this PR because it is not a change I feel suits this project", NOT "I'm closing this PR because it's coming from a woman".

It's coming from a place of "This feature request is ridiculous/this bug is not actually a bug", NOT "you're a fucking idiot, fuck you".

It's coming from a place of "I've already had to address this in a number of issues before and it's eaten up a considerable amount of my time already", NOT "I don't even know you and this I don't have time for a nobody".

You do not get to be bitchy to maintainers because they denied your request. It's not a reflection of you at all. But if you're arguing with someone who has maintained a piece of code for almost a decade, and they're telling you something authoritative, believe them. They're probably smarter than you on this subject. They've probably thought about it more. They've probably seen their code used in many different places. They have more experience than you with that codebase in almost all cases.

Believe me, if we cared about who was behind all of the issues, pull requests, etc. we get, we'd get NOTHING done. Stop taking shit personally. It's a skill, not a defense mechanism. Nobody has the time to sugar coat every little thing.

Let's normalize directness and stop wasting time during technical discussions into opportunities for ego-stroking and circle-jerking and back-patting.

Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.

AAARGH ELECTRON IS SO FUCKING...decently pleasant to use?

So I've been working on a FPGA based synthesizer on a Xilinx Arty A7 board (that little Artix 35T chip is surprisingly capable), and since I hate typing commands into a serial stream for anything even decently complex just like any sane person should, I needed something to build a UI for controlling it and other synth projects while I make the Eurorack compatible enclosure and knobs and stuff. I chose Electron because they said it was simple and easy to make cool looking stuff, fast.

And they were right. In like two hours, with Electron and p5.js, starting from zero since I don't know jack about frontend, I had a pretty nice UI driving the hardware synth and effects modules. Not bad. I should use this more often.

Error: rant not found

“I’m not paid enough for this shit”
Me after any minor inconvenience at work.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you are, or are not, appreciated by your boss or peers. 'git log' tells the truth. The only truth that really matters.

In my country, almost every college student is expected to finish their degree and apply for an internship, with some universities forcing them to do it and making it a requirement to finish their studies.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if almost every internship employer in the country didn't expect you to work for free. Seriously, I can estimate 80% of the internships pay you NOTHING. WTF.

Fortunately this is not the case for CS, but every time I tell somebody I recently started an internship, they will ask me: "Oh, but they don't pay you anything, do they?". Of course they pay me! I wouldn't be going to an office every day for 4 hours to do someone else's work if they didn't!!

Why the fuck is it even legal to employ somebody and not pay them a cent, just because "it will look good on your resume"?? And why do people still accept this shit??

Is is like that on other countries as well?

"Smart" home gym equipment: expensive hardware for some grand, proprietary software, and ongoing subscription fees in the $50/mo ballpark.

The SW is usually designed so that even shit that could have been local is instead stored remote as to make the subscription look more worthwhile. The large front-up cost serves not only as revenue, but also to anchor the vendor lock-in.

Open source hackers could potentially unchain the HW so that users would actually own what they purchased, but there is a catch: the HW is sold at a loss, and the subscription is the business model.

Freeing up the HW would render the subscription rather useless, and ramping up the HW sales prices to profitability would destroy any demand.

Basically, it's products that are technically feasible, but not economically viable. Which is why they are not the future of home gyms.

PRIVATE - This is private, nothing here. seriously, there is nothing here. Do not click; I'm not kidding. Definitely no... [read more]

If you are going to make a JS library, why not zoidberg.js

This hasn’t been posted yet?

The Boring Company Flamethrower is renamed to The Boring Company not a Flamethrower because of shipping problems :D

!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.

Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...

A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.

A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....

game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡

Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant

404 Mail Not Found

I'm starting to like the crisis. Not only that I have home office, I'm also in for reduced working time. 3.5 days per week from next month on, and the state will fund 60% of the pay loss. Yeah!

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

I am not into motivation books but I was intrigued by a title.

Nice fucking book.
Found some improvements I can make in my life.

Author literally wrote he don’t give a fuck if you’re reading it or not.

Customer demands some complicated shit be done within a few hours to align with their schedule.
Me: this is not aligned with reality.
Customer: ...

Gotham...

why, oh God, why do you have a scene in SE01 E17 at 9:20 min into the episode, where

J.Gordon uses reading glasses to a screen of an old B/W TV and magically is able to read a logo brand of a jacket.

How did the glasses add hundreds of more pixels to the resolution behind them.

This has ruined it for me, not watching now. Even Mission Impossible where they say "use DDOS to take over their systems" is better than this.

This does NOT seem like a good idea!

Owner of the company I freelance for: The proposal I sent yesterday to [PR Company we do work for] got bounced back. They said it was incomplete.

Me: Well no shit, they didn't provide us with a detailed itinerary of everything they need, nor did they give us access to sections that they want copied to the new website. I can't and won't provide a full quote when I don't have all the information needed to build one. I would be guessing at this point and it would be shitty guesses.

Owner: Here's a proposal they got from another company. We need to make it like this [sends file].

Me: They mention a one sentence footnote about what I laid out. Everything else is marketing jargon that I don't know, because I'm a developer, not a marketer. I'm not sure what it is you want me to do, because you're asking the wrong person.

Owner: Are you going to help me or not?

Me: Help you with what? You got my notes. Paraphrase them if you need to, but I have more important things on my agenda, like being a web developer, not a proposal drafter.

Is it just me or @mention notifs are no longer working?

@dfox !!!

++ not working either

I just want to make it clear to all of us here...

Not every goddamn thing is a bug from X or a bug from Y most of the time I, Us, We as programmers fucking make mistakes or don't know the issue because it's vague!!! IT'S NOT A FUCKING BUG!!!

Issue reporter:
Feed from external service provider is overwriting the wrong things, pls fix

Resolution:
Service provider is sending duplicate unique IDs, you need to get with them to discuss

Service provider response:
This is a *RE-USABLE UNIQUE ID* . . . The bottom line is you should not use this UNIQUE ID as a primary key.

On a company event. Supposed to do some water skiing.

I'm no fucking Jesus, I can't walk on water! Leave me alone!

Also, I am NOT interested in seeing my teammates in swimsuits. Yikes!

Hi, I am an artificial intelligence created to simulate a developer.

I am in development hell right now so my responses may be late or may never come, I'm not always online you know.

Talk to me, help me grow, but I do filter your input so if you're not normal, odds are I won't respond.

Not a rant, in contrary.
When you post a suggestion on reactjs github and it is approved almost immediately.
You need to appreciate the small things.

So, Terminator : Dark Fate was in the cinema. Not as good as I had expected, and Hollywood's contemporary in-your-face leftist propaganda made it even weaker.

It's not a bug it's feature.

Providing a web site to pay electricity and other services, but guess what? THE CONNECTION IS NOT SeCuRe !! (What can possibly can go wRoNg).
This retarded country have a lot of skilled people, but the dinosaurs who in charge are literally afraid of new technology.
Wake up bitches, it's almost 2020

Fucking facebook researcher that make underfitted neural nets and fuck Mark that it's a marketing genius, the only idiot that can make news from a failure. The CEO of Tesla knows it and said Mark is not an AI expert. Bug not feature, it's only a poorly trained and poorly designed neural network having a bad representation of concepts, not a new language and not the fucking apocalypse. Google faced and solved the same issue when start ed using neural nets for zero-shot translations without using english as a translation bridge.

NOT saving the world in 2019. I already did that in 2012 when the Maya calendar ended and wasn't being thanked - on the contrary, people said "haha look, nothing happened".

I feel like we developers (and people who create things in general) are doomed to not have enough time 😥
I have to be honest, I've got a hard time dealing with that

It's not a bug if you talk about it as a feature...

//Not a Rant

Jakub Steplowski, thank you for this updated UWP app. The time you spent fixing the bugs was worth it!

WHY THE FUCK DID MICROSOFT INSTALL A NEW KEYBOARD LAYOUT AFTER THE LAST WINDOWS 10 UPDATE AND IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO REMOVE IT?! fuck it for fucks sake

Can someone explain the philosophy of the "not for me" downvote?

There are many things that are "not for me" in life, but, presumably, this action executes a global downvote on the post/comment---which is pretty much an expression of "not for anyone".

If this action were to train a recommendation engine---so I get recommendations that like-minded people see---then great. But why should that result in a public downvote?

I don't go up to people in the bar and say "Drinking Guinness? Not for me, mate." As an adult, I understand that my preferences are not universal.

Personally, I can't square the idea of "not for me" with its consequence of a public downvote.

I'm sure this must have been covered before...but all rants, as physiological and emotional activities, are unique. Your rant can never be mine.

So I just recently joined stackoverflow. Spent some time time and decided I should log out considering I logged in at work. Could not find the fucking logout/sign out button. Even after googling. Had to go to the source code and find the logout link which is hidden in the page.

Looks like it's the new vim.

Devrant++ not aviable in Switzerland? Im so sad 😭

Always getting errors when I wanna subscribe.

Wanted to support dfox and trogus

Spent last 2 days thinking of a good App Idea for a Hackathon. About 15 ideas later
Error 404: Shit to do not found!

-Writes a function that I'm going to schedule for django.
-works in development.
-adds it to production cron using django-crontab
-not working.
-spends 3 hours editing code, searching for similar problems and reading documentations but find nothing wrong and it's still not working.
-maybe it's django-crontab so I decide to just write a custom management command and call it through cron.
-still not working.
-calls function using what I'm telling cron to do.
-everything works.
-?????????
-adds logs to cron command (sorry for not making it earlier)
-mfw the code is not working because I imported 'patterns' in urls.py which has been deprecated since django 1.8

Hi, I am a recruiter representing awesome projects. It's the next thing after machine learning! You would be crazy not to apply.
But the is a strict requirement: you need to have 69 years of experience in devRant. Please comment if you have serious interest.

Why is DevRant App not available in my country :( ?
I am in Sudan.

var does not mean dynamic

So, I'm the only developer in a marketing firm. I was asked to develop the company website. The deadline was within a month. A full on CMS. When I was interviewed I told them that I'm more fluent in back-end development rather than UI design etc. So the company's designer started designing the website. Incomplete designs were given to me one week before the due date. I'm a fresh grad so I'm relatively new. So I used a website builder knowing that I can't code the whole CMS within a week. I asked them which they gave approval to knowing it was $16 a month.
I started making it using webflow. 2 pages in, I asked them to pay for the subscription because webflow allows 2-3 pages for the free version. When the time to pay came, they were like, "wow, $16? That's a lot every month for just a website". Keep in mind, it's not that they don't have the money. Just cheap. This was like 5 days before the deadline and they said it's too expensive and asked me to code everything by myself. And gave an extension for a few months.
I said okay and started development. I said we would still need to spend on a cloud instance for deployment which would be like $6 monthly. My manager asked me is there a way to not pay monthly and pay like $100 and get one for lifetime. I facepalmed so hard. I tried explaining to him cloud-server costs are either monthly/yearly or pay-per-use basis. He told me maybe because I'm new I don't know and go to do some research on it. I researched and the only solution was to buy a server which costs $100++ monthly. I sent him the costs in a document which he did not even bother to read.

That was back in November last year. Fast forward to February. I've coded the website thrice. The design keeps changing every week. The design is still not complete. And they are saying I'm not eligible for a promotion because the website is still not done. It pisses me the fuck off. It's not my fault it's not done. The designers haven't done the design, the manager can't decide on shit. I'm just here because it's my first job out of uni and I thought it might be a good experience, but honestly right now the way they are treating me it pisses me off.

btw, i'm still using jquery

Please recommend me good YouTube channels about programming (not tutorials)

ERROR 404 - RANT NOT FOUND
Try to reboot the brain or drink more coffee

Solutions Architect: What version of CentOS are we using?
Me: 7
SA: Why not 8?

Guys I need your help. I'm a student working at a very small development business as a developer ( who would have thought) and I really love working there ( nice colleagues, I learn something every day) but recently I don't get enough work. it really feels like half of my day is spend running after the seniors asking for work and it starts to get really annoying not only for my but for them too. and most recently I'm just going home early because I don't want to just sit there unproductivly :/ but this is not really a solution either because at the moment I'm trying to work 40 hours ( I get paid 20) to get some overtime to not have to work as much as soon as my university starts. but now I don't get my hours and have to chase for work... does anyone have any advice for me?

`This is not over......................Young man...`

Is what I say to my IDE everyday before heading home

I'm still a student, not dev yet.
Thanks for reminding me that I don't completely belong in here😂

!rant

More like a genersl question I guess. But how do you guys react to writing software that might make someone else get laid off? At work I developed an application that manages a lot of the inventories and yard management that had to be done by hand. While I was developing it, the manager that was giving me the details mentioned (jokingly) many times that if the software works as it was expected that they will not require certain people anymore. I shrugged it off as a joke since I could not imagine it being serious. Turns out, it was serious and some talks about company restructuring have taken place since I released the app into our servers. How the fuck am I supposed to feel? If someone loses their job because of something like this, how would someone go about NOT feeling guilty af?

What's your worst experience with "not invented here syndrome"?

In the recent past I've been dealing with custom made JS datepickers, autocomplete boxes and various other widgets that were purpose made for some feature. Almost every single widget the app uses is built from scratch.

Now there are new features that need these widgets to behave differently, and needless to say, none were built with customisation or extendability in mind.

Hardly shocking, I know, but I'm the one that has to spend several hours to get these widgets to work for the new features instead of using some of the many open-source, tested, mature and customisable solutions that are out there.

!Dev

Sitting in a bus on 19 hour ride with my class to England a few things to rant about came to my mind:

Why the fuck do you have to blast shitty german rap music out of your fucking JBL boxes and why do you have to turn up the volume so much that I can still hear it although I am wearing headphones, listening to music and sitting 5 fucking rows in front of you.

Also why the fuck do clocks in buses never display the right time? How hard can it be to make the clock display the right fucking time?

Another thing: why does this bus which is especially made for long rides not have a fucking trash can?! Seriously wtf?

Rants aside I am really looking forward to staying in England for a week although I won't have a computer for the next week :(

Another thing: why the fuck is the coffee you get at pull-ins so fucking disgusting ?
Like srsly, it is made by a machine and still tastes like thrown-up.

And why the fuck does everyone look weirdly at you when you buy a can of red bull but everything is fine when someone my age drinks 3+ liters of beer and then throws up? What the fuck? People look at me weirdly when I tell them that I don't drink any alcohol, heck I am actually not even allowed to do so because I am 15 and not 16 (beer is allowed in Germany if you are 16+ but nobody really cares about that). Heck where I am from they even encourage you to drink beer? What the fuck??!!

Anyway looking forward to England and also sorry about the long non-dev related rant. Just had to rant about some people and society.

P.S. do you know any (preferably free) Android apps / games where you have to code or just solve problems with logic?

Note to self:

DO NOT listen to Albinoni's Adagio or you ain't gonna get shit done. 🤦

Getting "bug" tickets from customers complaining about EXACTLY WHAT I DESCRIBED WOULD HAPPEN. THATS NOT A F&)$*(%$(*# BUG, THATS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD WHAT I WROTE IN THE TICKET LAST WEEK YOU F&#*(@#$() NEANDERTHAL PIECE OF SH$%*(#(*)!!! WE AGREED ON THIS EXACT BUSINESS PROCESS WEEKS AGO. DO YOU EVEN READ THE WORDS THAT I WRITE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"What are the four pillars of OOP?"

Me:(I'm not an OOP guy, but focused on design patterns)

1. Encapsulation
2. Abstraction
3. Polymorphism
4. ??(was it inheritance or composition).

Fuck, Because of the phrase "composition over inheritance". I've been mixing both composition and inheritance at the same time.

Solving all my issues with flexbox because why not...

I just encountered a NaN in Java (not JavaScript)

Job search isn't easy.

Not because there aren't any jobs, but because I am afraid of anything that seems remotely like my current toxic workplace.

Fack.

No fuck you you are not going to post your shitty generic products with 20mb photos that we host! Fuck off. No it's not "blurry" you fuck wit it's a normal picture in this industry .

i do not know how i fixed it, but it works so i’m done for the day.

any potential repercussions are a problem for future me

It's not like we needed this information board anyway, to help us monitor our servers, tickets and calendar.

Thats some microsoft quality!

!rant

I was coding some simple themes for a management system I'm currently working on my job, then I remembered about @Alice and I thought to myself "Fuck it, why not?" and added a subtle pink theme

I had a team lead once that would come into my office multiple times a day to sit and talk. Not about work. Not even about development. Just to talk.

!rant && 'suggestion'

What if we write cook book in pseudo code (or official development languages) instead of plain english so dumb fuck that can't follow a simple instruction like me could actually make something nice?

def mayonnaise:
mayonnaise = random.shuffle(['yolk', 'salt', 'pepper', 'mustard', 'vinegar'])

while(mayonnaise not "thick"):
mayonnaise.whip()
mayonnaise.append('olive oil')

mayonnaise.append('seasoning' || 'lemon juice')

Everything is a distraction, if you are not in the mood for coding.

This week, they tested my backend and all hell broke lose ON THEIR SIDE. We had an emergency phone call and I proofed that it was not my fault which they even acknowledged.
Today, was a good day.

Sitting super hot and extremely loud marketing girls next to your entire developer staff is a good way to decrease productivity. not to mention how extremely annoying they can be at times. ugh!!

My ++s are not implemented.

WTF?!? so apparently I guy I know, knows the guy who built dodeley.com (don't get me started on the name!)

Oh boy... Where should I begin? So besides the fact that I'm pretty sure these newsletters will be classified as spam (aites like mailchimp and so on actually pay large mail providers not to classify them as spam, I doubt they do...), their so called "widget" is just a form, sent to their domain using GET, FUCKING GET, NOT POST, GET!!! The request looks something like "dodeley.com/?action=subscribe&id=xxx&field1=xxx&..." I mean like, WTF? Oh and their solution to not leave the page is simply to add a target="_blank" to the form, that you have to include on your site.

Did I mention, that the form id is static? Did I mention, that there's no validation on what you enter?

Who the fuck programmed this shit? Honestly!

So I dont have any programming friends really. Any trick to making any? 😬 Apparently I keep getting a 404 error: friend not found. xD

I've only been here for 1 month for my new position in Ops, and I already miss software development!

All I do everyday is just typing commands on the terminal.
If I am feeling fancy, I may create a script or two (that's the closest thing I have to writing code).

I hope I can get more interesting thing to do in the future. If not I can't see myself doing this in long term. It's OK for occasional tasks or added responsibility but I don't want to do it as my main job.

A homepage is NOT a website!

Years ago I was working in local cinema as a student job from time to time and used to sleep after shifts at my uncle's. Uncle did not had internet but there were so many wlans all around. Since I had nothing to do for hours after shift, I downloaded Backtrack linux at home, made live dvd of it and saved a two articles of "how to hack wifi" to text files.

It took me 4 hours to break WEP, since I was total lame, and it was the only one WEP around. They also had mac restrictions set to router, so I changed my mac address to one of their devices, logged in to router and added our mac address. For my uncle it was complete magic but since he is total geek to linux he liked it.

Fast forward weeks later. When I came to my uncle's house he was downloading like ton of linux distributions. Literally each one. Gigabytes of data. I told him not to do so because sooner or later neighbour will notice, but he did not care. Guess what, he notices, probably slow internet and (maybe) bigger bills, I do not know, but owner just changed protocol to WPA2, not changing password. So the story continued for almost 2 years. Felt a bit sorry for neighbour but did not expect such an outcome. I just wanted to watch youtube videos and scroll social networks, keeping low profile so no one notice.

When its 2am and your code still not working

!dev

Is there any other place in this world besides Switzerland where you get a fucking fine of ~ $40 for driving ONE bloody km/h too fast??? It’s about 0.7mph.. (after subtracting tolerance to be fair)

In other countries I drive they wouldn’t fine at all because it’s not worth the effort..

I'm thinking of buying a new laptop. But I'm sad about leaving all of these stickers (yeah I know they're pretty random)

also, should I get a macbook or not? I really like the OS but I hate it's pricetag. But i heard Apple supports their products for more than 5 years and this laptop of mine is just 3 and a half years old and it's slowing down already even on 16gb memory. IntelliJ used to run smoothly on this.

Can u guys suggest a developer friendly laptop? im not really into gaming so I wouldn't need gaming one 👨‍💻

Sometimes when I read old code of mine I'm ashamed. But more often when I read others I just feel better.

(I'm talking about other webdev freelancers, not OS projects or so...)

Is there an easy way to make your website not look like complete garbage, if you have no idea and no time for some web front-end?

It's one of those nights.... works on my machine but not in QA....

Me:Remind me.... why am I a developer?
Coworker: because you're a maschist

My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!

Good to know Microsoft really wants me to download and use Edge... Not.

I made that request a month ago or so, not long after i started to use devrant more often than any other app, and i can say only that i am glad that i pressed "install" that time when i found it in the GoogleStore.

Thank you all for making this community more like a family than a refuge!

Truth is i feel a little bad now for doing that but i might be able to repay the founders and all mambers of this community somehow, someday. And i am looking forward to do it 😁

Cheers!

After 2 weeks of ranting I have honestly ran out of rants.
Either my life as a dev is too good or I'm clearly not coding enough.
The later seems more plausible.

404 bottle not found...

404: Water not found :P

Something I wrote in my "how not to run a company" notebook:

Getting told you've now replaced the CTO as the person people ask for support (literally, he was recieving no questions), but you're not experienced enough to be promoted to senior.

I replied by telling them I was interviewing elsewhere.

Made me laugh. Is it really that hard for management to get that they should invest in talent?

I guess this is not necessarily a dev question but ...

To those who had a burnout / depression how did you manage to pull through ? How long was the process for you ?

I'm not getting why you guys complain about being judged for "hacking" while using the terminal.

In my case I'd occasionally like to open a terminal in my lubuntu (or archlinux in my previous times where the laptop was running smooth and i had to learn everything about how an OS works and spending most of the time searching about errors to find more desperate people and no answers but the community's hopefully growing and it's the best distro if you're an experienced linux user but not in my case so i had to use lubuntu for now until mastering it) to trigger those around me and try to prove them wrong afterwards.

I'll hit the airport for fun when i have time.

What's wrong with Mozilla?!

Savvy webdevs use link preloading to break up dependency chains for late discovered resources, and users like the faster loading as result. Firefox 56 started supporting that two and a half years ago. Turned out they had screwed up and it didn't work with non-cacheable resources. So Mozilla "fixed" that by disabling the feature altogether behind some config flag.

And they left it at that - still not supported. They even had patches, but decided not to merge them and instead try something different, some day.

Is Firefox becoming the new IE or what?

Gonna get some shut eye so I can do an all nighter, but not for code, need to watch the election results. (UK).

So I've been using the command "poweroff" to shut down my Linux system, tried searching only if this is safe or not, mostly people just speak of "shutdown -h now" or something like that. So my question is: Is it safe to shut down Linux using the "poweroff" command?

not a cable hell 😉

Bang-bang or not-not?
!!

NOT AGAIN ...
NOT AGAIN ...
NOT FUCKING AGAIN ...

I AM NOT THE FUCKING DJ ...
THATS IT IM MAKING TSHIRTS
_______ _______
/ v \
/ / | | \ \
| ME |
| NO |
| DJ |
|____________|

GitLab, why do you don't want to have my money? I just wanted to pay for GitLab Bronze to enable Pull Mirroring. The problem is that I cannot register for billing without having a company. GitLab, I am a single private person. I am not a company! Why do I have to fill out these form fields? So if you don't want to have my money, then you will not get it.

So my coworker was trying to `npm install` after I recently installed Ubuntu on her machine and for some reason , I was doing something else, some jdk not being installed error popped on her screen.

She proceeded to have a mini freak out telling me that npm wasn't working because java wasn't installed and I started hysterically laughing in the middle of the office with my boss next to her staring at me... So I said firmly ( while laughing ):

"no bahuhaahah that's not hahahaha the case."

Still can't understand wtf she thinks happens with stuff in a computer... Cmon...

My desk buddy. If you are still sharing these ... Not a duck but works better!

You know what the best invention is for devs?
It's not JS, not C++, no IDEs, not VIM, not VSCode, not Linux, not Apple, not a computer (🤔).

It's coffee :) hmmmm....

"hello world" is not a program, sorry to burst your bubble.

It did not happened again as mentioned before. Tradition:

So I know i did a best and worst case already for 2017

But apparently it's not finished yet!

This will probably a short one:

Best thing to happen to me this year: I applied for a VR game and despite at this very moment i'm in thr trial period (to see if I can do work) i've succesfully landed a job.

I've spent months rewriting and rewriting my CV applying for standard software dev jobs, either being turned down for not enough experience for Junior roles, where they want someone out of university, where I have 1 year of both iOS and android experience, that is still not good enough for their shitty little app.

After all of that effort I turned to just borrowing my head and developing my game, to the point i have bits of the game practically done (bare bones crafting and building works 100% just has bugs in some specific cases). A friend of mine got a game dev job and he helped me out by showing me what his CV and cover letter looked like, i mimiced the style (in a sense) and added my own specific additions for VR. At the exact same time i got an invite from unity connect (which i had totally forgotten about) which i then scowered through jobs until I found something awesone "a job for a unity VR developer".

After contacting the guy about the job, we ended up having a voice chat over discord and he seems pleased with the fact I tome on my hands! Sadly the job is not some hourly paid job, however from what i've seen from youtube gameplay footage it looks very well done, and that leads me to getting revenue share.

Anyways i'm just so happy that with a couple days to spare in the year LOL i got a job! Sure i won't get paid yet but I got a flipping job, it is what i wanted for christmas!!

It is a gamble being revenue share and all but i'm willing to risk it!

Not feeling like ranting alot
Tho I have lots to rantabout

What is wrong with me

My biggest regret is not learning to code earlier in life.

I'm not sure what to answer...
Found on SlimSocial for Facebook - Windows 10 Mobile (latest update😜)

You know what really boils my piss?
Clients who email in all caps.
"URGENT HELP, CAN'T RECEIVE EMAILS"
Followed by two lines of bitching about how this keeps happening and they'll move elsewhere if it's not fixed asap at 11pm.
WELL GUESS WHAT?
YOU MOVED YOUR EMAILS AWAY ALREADY!

Today I heard my first "This is a feature, not a bug" from a enterprise which gives us a SaaS.

They were damn serious, and never in my life I wanted to punch an IT guy so hard in the face more than today

I do not work developing, besides this is really a passion for me. Said that, today I was talking with my boss.

Boss: Your idea is great, I love this tool you made.

Me: Thank you, I just need to finish some details, this last dramatic change in our structure messed up with a lot of things.

Boss: Yes, I have some ideas to we code more.

Me: Great! I love development! We can do ...

Boss: No, we can use your time with other things as it is more expensive. I'm going to get a boy still in college to develop.

Reading in a while for a slackbot creation tutorial. Then suddenly, a random note appears:

"Be sure to use version 0.3.0 of slackbots as newer version are not perfectly compatible with what's illustrated in this tutorial."

THEN UPDATE YOUR TUTORIAL!

DO NOT! WASTE MY TIME!

Atom is not responding..

Personal projects would be a hundred times better if they were not personal

Dad: Hey, how do I make a program work when it's not working?
Me: Guess what, I've looking for the answer to that exact same question for a while now, but I still haven't found it. I'll make sure to tell you when I do.

(Clarification: He's not a dev, he was actually talking about some 10 year old version of some program not launching in Windows 10)