Someone had to say it

ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?

Such people should be promoted 🙃

It was real 😂

NOT A RANT

My brother is teaching himself how to code. Couldn't be prouder

Clearly not...

So just saw this course online the logo and title are two different languages not the best first impression

Found this piece of gold 😂

The moment you realize you're just good at googling and not an expert in programming...

That's when the internet connectivity is down!

Today, I finally had the opportunity to say to a client: "It is not a bug, it is a feature".

No, seriously, it is a feature.

Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.

Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.

Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.

Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.

Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?

Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.

Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!

Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.

Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.

Me: FML

The difference is real

Everyone seems to have shared their setups so here's mine

I have a mechanical keyboard and a mouse with 18 buttons. I haven't gamed for over a year :/

I like you if you're not a dev.

I like you if you're a dev.

I don't like you if you're not a dev but you try to act one.

Duolingo is teaching me some really important sentences

404 wall not found

Room Number Not Found

When your -non programmer- friends ask you to build an mmo for them..

IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE!

And they don't understand 😤

Best HTTP 404 Not Found Error Ever !!

Thinking project ideas be like...

Just programmer's things!

Builds a "Hello World" project in Django. Updates Resumé.

"Do not disturb"

What is WINE?
Wine Is Not an Emulator.

Okay, but what is WINE?
Wine Is Not an Emulator.

I usually don't work for indian clients. But when I do, they make sure I don't get paid.

Some highlights from my last project,

Client: Do you know ERPnext?

Me: No, but I am good at python.

Client: My boss wants me to find a guy who can create barcode generator for erpnext.

Me: I can use pyBarcode to do it.
This is exciting I thought. I get to learn a new framework. Start working on it. Not an hour passes by,

Client: hey can you remove this menu item?
Me: Which one?
Client: Also can you add the dashboard icons to left sidebar? Like Odoo? Do you know it? It is also python based.
Me: Then why don't you just use Odoo instead?
Client: My boss wants it. He doesn't understand computers. He is pissing mr off.
Me: Then how come he suggested erpnext?
Client: His friend told him.
*experience mindfuck*

For the next 3 days he has me working on these UI tweaks, never mentions barcode again.

But I finish the barcode stuff. Tripple check everything to make sure they work. Tell him to check so I can get paid. Guy asks his boss to check.

Boss > Client: It doesn't work
Me: What doesn't work?
Boss > Client: Everything!
Client: I actually tested everything and they work. My boss doesn't know how to use it. He is very old.

Makes me make more changes and finally when I ask for the work done so far,
Client: Boss didn't come to office today. I'll get you paid. Please try to understand my situation.

Me thinking, "mofo your boss didn't hire me,l. You did". But I keep calm and tell him I won't work until I get paid 50%.

3 days passed. No reply. Set his skype status to "Away" forever.

*spidey sense tells me I'm not getting paid, again*

U am beyond pissed and burnt out. I fucking wish there was a mafia I can request to collect my fucking money from them.

2 mins of silence for all those rants you composed, yet you chose to not post it.

"Do you like your job? I mean, all those collored lines in that funny font... sitting at the desk with this adorable rubber duck... Do you guys jus".....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me: "SHUT UP YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!! I MADE 26 COMMITS DURING THIS FUCKING DAY, THE DAY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAST WORKING DAY OF THIS SHITTY YEAR! I HAVE NOT SLEPT AS I SHOULD AT ALL CAUSE THIS FUCKING MIGRATION OF NEW YEAR'S UPDATE AND NOW... AHH NOW YOU STUPID FYCKING PSYCHO... NOW I HAVE TO CONTROLL MYSELF DURING NEXT DINNER WITH FRIENDS, HAVE NO MUCH ALCOHOL CAUSE DURING SUNDAY, EVEN ITS A FUCKING HOLIDAY AND EVEN IF I AM IN A LOOONNGG HANGOVER, I DO STILL NEED TO COMPLETE THIS FUCKING NEW YEAR MIGRATION YOU ASS PUNK! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU LITLE USELESS TINY LITLE SHIT!!!"

And this is how I see my new years resolution: the time is priceles doing this questions to me...

Happy new year, fellazz! 💃🎆🎉

Classic.

Sister: HARRY THE INTERNET'S NOT WORKING WHAT DID YOU DO!

Yes it was me I've been changing our domain settings so the IP Range is not responding, I'll have to bypass the mainframe and get you back online with a reverse proxy

Teach us to understand the problems before teaching us how to solve them.

I see my boss interested in learning new languages as if it is gonna be some sort of holy grail but his logic remains the same.

I'm in a step of my life that I finally understand that this language fight is a total waste of time:

PhP is fucking delicious to deploy

Java is fucking delicious to work with spring boot

Python has a fucking delicious syntax and I wanna marry it

Go is fucking delicious to outperform others

Anyway, my point is that when you get the hang of it you should learn concepts and improve your logic instead of hoping language x is gonna save you, its not.

Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"

Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.

A (non dev) friend of mine was browsing some stuff on my other laptop today.
*I was just sitting bored*
SSHed into it.
Closed the browser.
Shut down the system down.
Totally freaked him out!

It was an awesome feeling!

Am I the only one who reads mysql as "my sequel"?

!rant

So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.

Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".

Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...

Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.

I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.

Guys, check out 'Global dark theme' add on on Firefox!
Works like charm.

Installed Arch. Failed. Tried again. Failed. Went back to Ubuntu. Tried again the week after. Failed 4 more times. Finally installed it correctly. Tried it on my desktop PC and failed 2 more times until I figured it out.

I'm never formatting my hard drives again.

So I've been thinking, since there are a lot of people on here who want to learn stuff, have a lot of leftover time and so on, and I do NOT have this right now (I only have time to work at the privacy website thingy as for now), what about I post some of the stuff I'd love to make but don't have the time for on here either as rants or collabs? The only requirements I'd have are:

- Being able to participate in them as soon as I get time
- Getting credit.
- The projects being released open source under a license which makes sure that they'll stay open source.

What do you guys think?

That's the run button. NOT THE PLAY BUTTON.

I was once working for a company as a part time dev in the centrum of my city.

After working there for almost 1 year I noticed that I didn't get paid the last 2 months. I think it was about 500 euro's. (1 day per week).

So I went on my bike to the company to see whatsup. I came into the store and told my boss I hadn't been paid for 2 months. Even tho I did work.

He then got so angry! Just started yelling "YEAH BECAUSE THE PROJECT ISNT NEAR COMPLETE, NOTHING IS WORKING" I explained him the panel still had to be configured and that everything he asked me to do had been programmed and he then fucking told me he wanted it a different way even tho we clearly discussed it WEEKS AGO and he clearly said what he wanted. so he wanted dont revisions. I told him that this is not possible at this moment because holidays are around the corner and I want to go om vacation. (and he too!!!)

He then got so fucking angry he said "come with me for a second" we walk to the door of the building and then he just pushed me out of there and kicked me in my back.

I got so fucking pissed, I opened the door and asked him if je thinks this is a normal way to discuss. He closed the store door again, and I couldnt hold back anymore. I threw my full can of Red Bull against the glass door. The can exploded, and his whole fucking window had energy drink on it. He took some fucking steal pipe, so I walked back. But while trying to get away I jumped on his store sign. Which broke into pieces (they are quite expanasive). He came outside with his fucking pipe and he was trying to hit me. We had a crowd and people started yelling at him. I walked away but the asshole took my bike and put it inside his store. So that I couldnt leave.

So than I called the cops and reported him. For minor assault and some other things. Shortly after I deleted the entire project from his stupid server.

I really dont know this kinda shit happends, he probably felt like I didn't deserve that money even tho I did everything he asked for within deadline. Trying to solve it after vacation was also not an option. I signed him up for a few news letters after that.

I'm supposed to be a techie and prefer all the digital stuff, but this is by far the best Christmas present I'll be getting this year

When you're so tired that you forget to put coffee in the coffee maker and get a cup of hot water instead.

Just wow. I am amazed by what just happened.

A year ago my parents decided to switch from desktop to laptop for convenience. Knowing their needs, i bought them one without an OS and installed Ubuntu 16.04 on it. The thing is that if you do a regular maintenance of the laptop once a year at their partner company, you get additional 4 years of warranty (this offer is amazing).

So today was the day I brought the laptop for this maintenance for the first time. They make you a profile on their support website where you can track shit regarding your device, super convenient. First thing I notice that the login page was not https. Awkward, but there is no sensitive data here so i let it pass. Naturally i forgot my password, so I requested a new one and guess what? I recieved it in plaintext via mail. A tech repair oriented company does this, my god.

I went there, gave them the laptop in question and got a piece of paper, where they wrote that the laptop is in their hands now, and the current physical state of the laptop, and blabla.

I got home and I read what the guy wrote among other things: THE OPERATING SYSTEM IS NOT LEGAL.

How the fuck is Ubuntu not legal??? What the fuck is this shit? I sure as hell didn't torrent it or bought a booteged copy on the streets.

Binge watched all seasons of Silicon Valley! This show is so underated!!

My dad has been using android for about 4-5 years now. I just showed him how the notification drop down works.

The day you finally realize that you're not crazy because everyone on devRant experiences the same problems you do.

My dad has been using a Windows computer every day since 95. Yesterday he discovered that if you click the little tabs in the "details" view of the file explorer, you can sort the contents of a folder by name, date, etc.

I also tried to show him how to scroll with the mouse wheel, but he said it was too complicated, and he preferred to drag the scroll bar every single time.

So a guy approached me for his e-commerce idea. He wanted a "good looking" website and Android app for around just 5000 INR (~ $80), including the domain and server cost. Fucker didn't have any respect for Devs.

All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.

*dad's w10 computer running super slow*

*checks task manager*

100% disk usage

*checks whatever-the-advanced-system-monitor-is-called*

*Compattelrunner.exe is at the top of the list in disk usage*

*searches online to find what the hell that is*

"Compattelrunner.exe collects program telemetry information if opted in to the Microsoft EatASackOfDicks Customer Experience Fuckup"

Telemetry is supposed to be disabled on this computer.

What the fuck Microsoft, if you want to straight out lie to my face as a customer at least try to not be so obvious that you basically lock down my computer with your telemetry shit.

Deleted Facebook and Instagram last month. Couldn't gather the courage to delete devRant. #devRantForever

404 post not found

The original idea is not mine, but I can't tell you how much fun I've had with this

Never try to learn a new platform that uses a language you are not really comfortable with while expecting to build something during an hackathon.
Never.

Rate my new do-not-disturbe-while-I'm-coding-dart-powered-device 😂

So much swag arrived in the mail today.

It's funny how I end up paying for more stuff from a free app than from one of those freemium games that are so popular right now.

Friend: I have a small flask project. Can you do the same in node js?

Me: Hmm okay... I guess I can do that.
Also me: Send me the the project code.

Friend: No, I've signed a NDA with the startup. I can't share it. Maybe you could just teach me how to do it.

*The deadline was in an hour*

Me: ¯\_(ʘ_ʘ)_/¯

Ok, do you sometimes feel like you get treated as search engine? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

My coworker from my previous workplace is messaging me to suggest about good tutorial about a framework that I'm not familiar about.

"Dude, have you heard about Google?"

!dev related

Wife is not pregnant......

.....we have been trying to...STAY LIKE THAT FOR A WHILE NOW and after a big scare I was really worried :v we have one kid already and that Is how we plan to stay until I start my business.

These are the best news I've had all month.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

I'm lost. I am so used to calls saying people broke things, I feel weird that I'm not annoyed with someone's idiocy...

Help?

Oh Boy!! Just thought this is an app for tutorials and how too stuff.. now noticed it's better than reddit... Catched my self spending hours here and not doing my work xD

Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.

Duolingo has some secret plans for world domination

Linux... Is shitty... Ok it just is. I've tried all kinds of variations and they all just... Urgh

Now I know... I know devs are meant to love it ... But compare it to windows

(Yes windows fucks up more) but when it works it works.

... Windows isn't perfect... But it doesn't try to be.

Linux has that feel of... Clearly made by a dev... It works consistently but doesn't take into account how people want to use something...

Linux is something you have to learn to love. And I'm sure I could.
But with windows it's intuitive it's straight forward

I feel like if I was to pick up windows having never used it... I would know how it works. I could at least use it go online and watch videos do the basics... In Linux ... No it's not as easy, sometimes not possible

An os you should just know how to do everything you want to do, and not have to download tonnes of shit to get it that way

It is, the future... But holy fuck get your act together Linux

Got too bored of good ol Ubuntu and switched to Fedora. Already enjoying yum 😋

I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:

"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "

OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:

"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."

PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".

Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet

Everyone is posting jokes about GitLab recent incident and how the guys responsible for that must be feeling right now.
Shit happens, sometimes it's you accidentally deleting a branch on your repo and turning that into a major crisis, sometimes is a huge mistake that impacts not only the whole company business, but also it's clients work.

This situation reminds me of a famous quote from Thomas J. Watson (ex lBM CEO):

"Recently, I was asked if I was going to fire an employee who made a mistake that cost the company $600,000. No, I replied, I just spent $600,000 training him. Why would I want somebody to hire his experience"

Those guys at GitLab have probably learned one of the most expensive lessons in IT world and I really wish them to come up with a solution that not only fixes this case, but that helps them preventing future occurrences.

C++ seriously?

Does anyone else feel this way? Especially with no formal training?

My first ever hackathon win!
Devfest! #GDG

A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.

So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.

We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.

When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:

"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."

So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????

YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???

GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE

God, it feels good to let that out.

!rant
Schrodinger's Rant: It's both a rant and not a rant until it is decided in the comments.

The amount of people I've had ask if I can hack the school and change their horrible new photo is impressive.
No people. My talent is Googling. Not hacking.

We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.

Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.

Walking PM through what not to click during demo today..

Apple introduces HomePod device that hears everything you say, knows every answer, and controls your entire home.

Me: But, Shouldn't it be called the iWife?

Bug:
So there is feature to long press on a picture to save it BUT when dialog comes up - its impossible to dismiss it, not that its impossible to close it, but wherever you click - it saves pic(even if on non button)

(Adding a picture for u guys to test it out)
(Sry for repost, i cant find anything else on my phone)

not really a rant, but but i am intrigued...

got an email that my rockstar account (gta) email was changed.

changed the email and password and noticed that all the details were changed (nickname, date of birth etc) and the guy even posted on support asking to remove steam link (probably could not login). But rockstar requires a screenshot of user logged in to steam (as if that is hard to fabricate...), so he gave up :D

i'm not even mad, i'm wondering what's the guy's story. Probly bought a stolen account for cheap, hoping to play :(

Maybe i should just let him play the game, since i'm not...

I just spent 20 minutes trying to work out why my function wasn't being recognised. I was editing the wrong class.
Does the colour of the duck make a difference?

I wanna kill myself....
Edit: not anymore, ive noticed that i got 500++ :)

Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.

Really not in the mood, but I gotta get some projs done. Plus, I'm already sleepless at 4AM, so why not?

But...

Motivation, motivation, where art thou? 😖

Option C, guys! Option C!

If god created humans, perhaps then humanity is an AI experiment that just went haywire.

404 train not found

Time Not Found! :P

IT WAS FUCKING DOWNLOADING FOR 19 HOURS!!! AND IT IS STILL NOT FUCKING DONE!!!

ARE THEY RUNNING THEIR SERVERS ON POTATOS OR SOMETHING?
(my net is definetely not a bottle neck)

This happens quite often in the trains of my city. I still wanted to know what the next stop was, btw

A support request came in at 4:30 this afternoon, I logged onto the server somewhat pissed off that there was a support request at this time on a Friday.

I checked the logs and noticed 500 errors coming from our integration parter after a little log checking and with glee I declared "not my fucking problem!" I replied to the customer and ccd our partner. Have fun bitches, next time deploy your new version when we fucking agreed!

After waiting for days (to weeks) and not hearing back from places that I've had more than 2 interviews with, I'm contemplating getting a Tier 5 visa to UK and getting the fuck out of here.
Really getting tired. (pun not intended)

But if it's my luck, I won't find any jobs there either. :(

P.S. I'm still waiting for uni application response as well.

Seems legit

Writing an application to a company, gave em an overkill cv...

Answer: Thank you for your interest. Because your application is incomplete, we would like to have the following documents...

... a more detailed cv...

REALLY?!!

What for are job interviews anyways...

I m definitly not applying for a job as a novel writer...

This hasn’t been posted yet?

The Boring Company Flamethrower is renamed to The Boring Company not a Flamethrower because of shipping problems :D

Last week our department drama queen was showing off Visual Studio’s ability to create a visual code map.
He focused on one “ball of mud”, vilifying the number of references, naming, etc and bragging he’s been cleaning up the code. Typical “Oooohhh…this code is such a mess…good thing I’m fixing it all..” nonsense. Drama queen forgot I wrote that ‘ball of mud’

Me: “So, what exactly are you changing?”
DK: “Everything. It’s a mess”
Me: “OK, are any of the references changing? What exactly is the improvement?”
DK: “There are methods that accept Lists. They should take IEnumerables.”
Me: “How is that an improvement?”
<in a somewhat condescending tone>
DK: “Uh…testability. Took me almost two weeks to make all the changes. It was a lot of work, but now the code is at least readable now.”
Me: “Did you write any tests?”
DK: “Um…no…I have no idea what uses these projects.”
Me: “Yes you do, you showed me map.”
DK: “Yes, but I don’t know how they are being used. All the map shows are the dependencies.”
Me: “Do you know where the changes are being deployed?”
DK: “I suppose the support team knows. Not really our problem.”
Me: “You’re kinda right. It’s not anyone’s problem.”
DK: “Wha…huh…what do you mean?”
Me: “That code has been depreciated ever since the business process changed over 4 years ago.”
DK: “Nooo…are you sure? The references were everywhere.”
Me: “Not according to your map. Looks like just one solution. It can be deleted, let me do that real quick”
<I delete the solution+code from source control>
Me: “Man, sorry you wasted all that time.”

I could tell he was kinda’ pissed and I wasn’t really sorry. :)

I fucking hate Captcha. fucking hate it. It's annoying as hell. Thrice in a row, it has recognised me as a robot.

I have been learning how to dockerize entire projects this week, and I have to say, Docker is the best thing I've come across in a long time.

That is all

The fact is not funny at all

Made my code unreadable so that the examiner doesn't look too deep into the code and pass me for correct output.

One of my coworkers just had a baby, so he left work today and won't be back for a month or more.

We (accidentally) took the client's website down for 3 hours, messed up our git repo and when we finally fixed both things, I had to spend the rest of the day editing fucking vector graphics (which I had never done before and completely suck at).

I never realized how much work this guy does or how important he is until now.

Why is everyone starting a startup nowadays!!?

I fucking love Rick and Morty!

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you are, or are not, appreciated by your boss or peers. 'git log' tells the truth. The only truth that really matters.

Error: rant not found

This mission looks pretty interesting

Sudo apt-get remove --purge hurricane-irma

404 Mail Not Found

In my country, almost every college student is expected to finish their degree and apply for an internship, with some universities forcing them to do it and making it a requirement to finish their studies.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if almost every internship employer in the country didn't expect you to work for free. Seriously, I can estimate 80% of the internships pay you NOTHING. WTF.

Fortunately this is not the case for CS, but every time I tell somebody I recently started an internship, they will ask me: "Oh, but they don't pay you anything, do they?". Of course they pay me! I wouldn't be going to an office every day for 4 hours to do someone else's work if they didn't!!

Why the fuck is it even legal to employ somebody and not pay them a cent, just because "it will look good on your resume"?? And why do people still accept this shit??

Is is like that on other countries as well?

Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.

“I’m not paid enough for this shit”
Me after any minor inconvenience at work.

If you are going to make a JS library, why not zoidberg.js

A proud supporter today! devRant++

Owner of the company I freelance for: The proposal I sent yesterday to [PR Company we do work for] got bounced back. They said it was incomplete.

Me: Well no shit, they didn't provide us with a detailed itinerary of everything they need, nor did they give us access to sections that they want copied to the new website. I can't and won't provide a full quote when I don't have all the information needed to build one. I would be guessing at this point and it would be shitty guesses.

Owner: Here's a proposal they got from another company. We need to make it like this [sends file].

Me: They mention a one sentence footnote about what I laid out. Everything else is marketing jargon that I don't know, because I'm a developer, not a marketer. I'm not sure what it is you want me to do, because you're asking the wrong person.

Owner: Are you going to help me or not?

Me: Help you with what? You got my notes. Paraphrase them if you need to, but I have more important things on my agenda, like being a web developer, not a proposal drafter.

Fuck you Crazy Apple Fans! Fuck you for shoving iPhone X's "innovative" features in the face of every single living being who is not one of you! No, Apple is not the best tech company! It's just a genius marketer, you, dumbass person who thinks he knows a lot about technology!!

!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.

Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...

A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.

A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....

game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡

Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant

Devrant++ not aviable in Switzerland? Im so sad 😭

Always getting errors when I wanna subscribe.

Wanted to support dfox and trogus

It's not a bug if you talk about it as a feature...

It's not a bug it's feature.

This is a personal rant, not a devRant. BUT ITS STILL A FUCKING RANT.

Anyways, I don't have a lot of friends. In fact, only one. That one friend used to pull of his moods on me, and I was more or less okay with that. When he was in a bad mood, I didn't annoy him too much. However, I expect the same from him.

Today he really triggered me badly, and at some point he knew he should just leave me alone. We were in a LoL lobby, and went into the Discord where I could hear how he is dragging me down, saying I'm an asshole etc. As a result of that, I left the lobby, and heard him say more bullshit. Then he talked about how he left at another server, since they were assholes and excluded them.

At was at that point were they deafed me. Meaning, I couldn't hear nor what they were saying or speak for myself. What is this bullshit? I mean, if your fucking best friend does this shit to you, how can you have faith or trust anybody else? It's just really fucked up, and fucking bullshit, and like the only place where I can vent off is here.

What a fucking piece of shit. And I keep forgiving him.

Fuck my life! It took three and a half weeks to debug an issue. Guess what, there was no issue with our code in the first place! Fuck My Life.

I think now I understand why a lot of people despise Javascript !

Why is DevRant App not available in my country :( ?
I am in Sudan.

Hi, I am a recruiter representing awesome projects. It's the next thing after machine learning! You would be crazy not to apply.
But the is a strict requirement: you need to have 69 years of experience in devRant. Please comment if you have serious interest.

Got my stickers :) finally starting my stickers collection

So I just recently joined stackoverflow. Spent some time time and decided I should log out considering I logged in at work. Could not find the fucking logout/sign out button. Even after googling. Had to go to the source code and find the logout link which is hidden in the page.

Looks like it's the new vim.

I just want to make it clear to all of us here...

Not every goddamn thing is a bug from X or a bug from Y most of the time I, Us, We as programmers fucking make mistakes or don't know the issue because it's vague!!! IT'S NOT A FUCKING BUG!!!

My friend still refuses to believe that bitcoin is a legit currency!

Guys I need your help. I'm a student working at a very small development business as a developer ( who would have thought) and I really love working there ( nice colleagues, I learn something every day) but recently I don't get enough work. it really feels like half of my day is spend running after the seniors asking for work and it starts to get really annoying not only for my but for them too. and most recently I'm just going home early because I don't want to just sit there unproductivly :/ but this is not really a solution either because at the moment I'm trying to work 40 hours ( I get paid 20) to get some overtime to not have to work as much as soon as my university starts. but now I don't get my hours and have to chase for work... does anyone have any advice for me?

Not a rant, in contrary.
When you post a suggestion on reactjs github and it is approved almost immediately.
You need to appreciate the small things.

My dad has had an android phone for about 3 years now. He just learnt that the big circle at the bottom takes you to the home screen. I love my dad.

Not properly using resistors or just not using them at all.

#EngineeringSin

//Not a Rant

Jakub Steplowski, thank you for this updated UWP app. The time you spent fixing the bugs was worth it!

Fucking facebook researcher that make underfitted neural nets and fuck Mark that it's a marketing genius, the only idiot that can make news from a failure. The CEO of Tesla knows it and said Mark is not an AI expert. Bug not feature, it's only a poorly trained and poorly designed neural network having a bad representation of concepts, not a new language and not the fucking apocalypse. Google faced and solved the same issue when start ed using neural nets for zero-shot translations without using english as a translation bridge.

!rant && 'suggestion'

What if we write cook book in pseudo code (or official development languages) instead of plain english so dumb fuck that can't follow a simple instruction like me could actually make something nice?

def mayonnaise:
mayonnaise = random.shuffle(['yolk', 'salt', 'pepper', 'mustard', 'vinegar'])

while(mayonnaise not "thick"):
mayonnaise.whip()
mayonnaise.append('olive oil')

mayonnaise.append('seasoning' || 'lemon juice')

Please recommend me good YouTube channels about programming (not tutorials)

Power metal

Want to learn about AI. Don't know where to start. Can anyone of you guys help?

I just encountered a NaN in Java (not JavaScript)

Upgraded to Ubuntu 17.10 and Firefox Quantum! Life is great!

Spent last 2 days thinking of a good App Idea for a Hackathon. About 15 ideas later
Error 404: Shit to do not found!

Today I had to explain to my sister why I want a rubber duck with a cloak for Christmas

!rant

More like a genersl question I guess. But how do you guys react to writing software that might make someone else get laid off? At work I developed an application that manages a lot of the inventories and yard management that had to be done by hand. While I was developing it, the manager that was giving me the details mentioned (jokingly) many times that if the software works as it was expected that they will not require certain people anymore. I shrugged it off as a joke since I could not imagine it being serious. Turns out, it was serious and some talks about company restructuring have taken place since I released the app into our servers. How the fuck am I supposed to feel? If someone loses their job because of something like this, how would someone go about NOT feeling guilty af?

Rant rant = new Rant();
rant.type = Rant.REVELATION;
rant.content = "

Being depressed with recent stuff about my ex, I've been going out a lot more than I use to, thus engaging in conversation with people I've never talked to before, and it made me realize something. Maybe it's because the world it's more connected nowadays, but I think it's more about our career (be it CS Engineer, Software Dev, Web-Dev, etc...) and correct me if I'm wrong but I think we are the kind of people that knows about everything (maybe not everything, but know basic stuff that can't be considered general knowledge) because that's what we do, we spend our days updating ourselves, growing in knowledge.

What's my point? That, thanks to this ability, we can work, cooperate or even socialize in a rather easy way. For example, I learned bit of color theory and design principles for a school project. Fast forward some months, I meet this girl that had a degree in Digital Design and I could talk to her about her field, and even knew things she forgot.

I don't know, for me, it's amazing how we can shape shift and mold to the situation, easier than any other career.

Am I wrong or missing something? Let me know
";
rant.publish();

Everything is a distraction, if you are not in the mood for coding.

Took a devops position for a friend who needed help managing a small datacenter.

Five months of writing nothing but yaml for ansible. I'm about to go mad...

Has any1 seen site throwing snippet of php? for me its a first time (im not web dev)

I had a team lead once that would come into my office multiple times a day to sit and talk. Not about work. Not even about development. Just to talk.

!Dev

Sitting in a bus on 19 hour ride with my class to England a few things to rant about came to my mind:

Why the fuck do you have to blast shitty german rap music out of your fucking JBL boxes and why do you have to turn up the volume so much that I can still hear it although I am wearing headphones, listening to music and sitting 5 fucking rows in front of you.

Also why the fuck do clocks in buses never display the right time? How hard can it be to make the clock display the right fucking time?

Another thing: why does this bus which is especially made for long rides not have a fucking trash can?! Seriously wtf?

Rants aside I am really looking forward to staying in England for a week although I won't have a computer for the next week :(

Another thing: why the fuck is the coffee you get at pull-ins so fucking disgusting ?
Like srsly, it is made by a machine and still tastes like thrown-up.

And why the fuck does everyone look weirdly at you when you buy a can of red bull but everything is fine when someone my age drinks 3+ liters of beer and then throws up? What the fuck? People look at me weirdly when I tell them that I don't drink any alcohol, heck I am actually not even allowed to do so because I am 15 and not 16 (beer is allowed in Germany if you are 16+ but nobody really cares about that). Heck where I am from they even encourage you to drink beer? What the fuck??!!

Anyway looking forward to England and also sorry about the long non-dev related rant. Just had to rant about some people and society.

P.S. do you know any (preferably free) Android apps / games where you have to code or just solve problems with logic?

Still waiting for my Hacktoberfest T-shirt! A friend got his last year's T-shirt this week. I hope that doesn't happen to me. 🤞

Sometimes when I read old code of mine I'm ashamed. But more often when I read others I just feel better.

(I'm talking about other webdev freelancers, not OS projects or so...)

A homepage is NOT a website!

Sitting super hot and extremely loud marketing girls next to your entire developer staff is a good way to decrease productivity. not to mention how extremely annoying they can be at times. ugh!!

Pretty print or not?

I finish sentences with semicolons.

I type 'exit' in whatsapp conversations when I'm done sending messages.

I tried to :wq from Google docs the other day.

And most importantly of all, coding got me into tech in general, made me switch to Linux, start a thousand personal projects at a time and is now the thing I dedicate most of my time to, both in and out of work.

In a meeting yesterday working through our WebAPI coding standards, starting from File -> New project..etc..etc.. and ironing out some of the left-or-right decisions so we can have a consistent coding style, working in a meeting room with an overhead projector and sharing keyboard around with one another.

Then we hit the routing 'rules' in the WebApiConfig, "api/{controller}/{id}"…

DevMgr: "Do we need the 'api' prefix? It seems redundant."
Ralph: "Yes it's needed. Prefixing the controllers with 'api' is industry best practice. Otherwise, how is anyone to know it's a web api"
Prancer: "Yea, it's part of the REST standard."
Me: "I don't think so. That is only part of the Asp.Net routing rule. We can put anything we want or take anything out."
DevMgr: "Yea, it looks silly. All the new services are going to be business process specific."
Ralph: "That's how everyone does it. It's kind of the point of why REST services are called WebApi"
Prancer: "What's the point of doing any of this work if we're not going to follow industry standards."
Me: "I understand if the service is part of larger web site, but we're developing standalone services. Prefixing routes with 'api' is redundant. I mean who are these 'everyone' you're talking about?"
<ralph rolls his eyes>
Ralph: "Lets see …uhhh… Netflix?. They're kinda a big deal."
Me: "Like I said, it's an integral part of their site and the services they provide. That's fine. I'm talking about the 12 other 3rd party services we integrate with. None of them have 'api' on any of their routes."
Prancer: "We're talking about serious web services."
Me: "Last time I checked, UPS is a big and serious service."
Ralph: "Their services are a fracking joke" – he didn't say fracking.
Me: "Our payroll system, our billing system, billion dollar companies, didn't have '/api' prefix anywhere. Heck, even that free faxing service we used for a while was a dead-simple routing path."
<I take the keyboard away from Ralph, remove the 'api' from the route.>
Me: "There. Done. Now, lets talk about error handling.."

Rest of the meeting Ralph and Prancer don't say much of anything, arms crossed…I swear Ralph looked like he was going to cry.
This morning I catch my boss…
Me: "What did you think of the meeting? I thought Ralph was going to take a swing at me when I took the keyboard away from him."
DevMgr: "Oh yes…I almost laughed out loud….blows my freaking mind how worked up people get about crap that doesn't matter. Api..or not…who the frack cares. Just make it consistent"
Me: "Exactly…I didn't care either way, but I enjoyed calling out that nonsense."
DevMgr: "Yes..waaay too much."

If I didn't call them on their BS and the 'standard' allowed to continue, I can bet my paycheck when the subject comes up in a few months (another mgr asks 'isn't this api prefix redundant?') Ralph and Prancer will be the first to say "Yea, its stupid. We fought really hard to remove it from the standard...its not our fault...its <insert scapegoat> fault."

Booked a shared cab to home. A bug in the app made me travel additional 34 Kilometres for no reason. Talk about understanding the value of writing good code the hard way.

ERROR 404 - RANT NOT FOUND
Try to reboot the brain or drink more coffee

Okay, I have an exam in 2 hours. And I have no idea why I'm scrolling through rants instead scrolling through fat books.

Man, devRant addiction is bad!

I don't know if this brand is popular outside my country, so I thought you guys should know this is a thing

Started to re-watch the whole season one of Silicon Valley, because was procrastinating work and needed to get inspired. Didn't take into account the time it would require to watch the whole season. Would've started earlier than I did, even after procrastinating.

Today I spent several hours arguing with a client. Why? Because she's seeing an error on her website, and no matter how many times I explain to her that she's the only one seeing a css misalignment that was fixed this morning, and that she should clear the browser's cache or just use a different one, she refuses to understand that it's not my fault and that the website that's in production is working just fine for her users.

FFS I tested the same thing on Firefox Chrome, chromium, edge and even fucking IE8 on as many OSs as I can, namely Windows 7, Windows 10, Debian, Ubuntu, Android and OSX.

WHY DO YOU KEEP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR BROWSERS CACHE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT YOU WERE WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

Uffff, that feels better.

University.

Solving all my issues with flexbox because why not...

Me: I'm a JavaScript developer
Other Devs in team:

Things you should not say on your last day of work:

If I broke it, I think it would be pretty obvious.

Is there an easy way to make your website not look like complete garbage, if you have no idea and no time for some web front-end?

I would like to present new super API which I have "pleasure" to work with. Documentation (very poor written in *.docx without list of contents) says that communication is json <-> json which is not entirely true. I have to post request as x-www-form with one field which contains data encoded as json.

Response is json but they set Content-Type header as text/html and Postman didn't prettify body by default...

I'm attaching screenshot as a evidence.

I can't understand why people don't use frameworks and making other lives harder :-/

My biggest regret is not learning to code earlier in life.

Good to know Microsoft really wants me to download and use Edge... Not.

Why these fucking companies don't support Linux on desktop and get rid of fucking Windows? Dell has developer edition laptops yes but they are not as available as Windows ones. Why don't other companies don't start such a trend? Oh let me say it, money! But as developers leave Macbooks for better choices, I think it's time for manufacturers to start investing in Linux as a replacement.

I was in Stiner, I wasn't allowed anywhere near a computer, I ended up teaching myself in secret. Didn't turn out too bad ☺️

So I know i did a best and worst case already for 2017

But apparently it's not finished yet!

This will probably a short one:

Best thing to happen to me this year: I applied for a VR game and despite at this very moment i'm in thr trial period (to see if I can do work) i've succesfully landed a job.

I've spent months rewriting and rewriting my CV applying for standard software dev jobs, either being turned down for not enough experience for Junior roles, where they want someone out of university, where I have 1 year of both iOS and android experience, that is still not good enough for their shitty little app.

After all of that effort I turned to just borrowing my head and developing my game, to the point i have bits of the game practically done (bare bones crafting and building works 100% just has bugs in some specific cases). A friend of mine got a game dev job and he helped me out by showing me what his CV and cover letter looked like, i mimiced the style (in a sense) and added my own specific additions for VR. At the exact same time i got an invite from unity connect (which i had totally forgotten about) which i then scowered through jobs until I found something awesone "a job for a unity VR developer".

After contacting the guy about the job, we ended up having a voice chat over discord and he seems pleased with the fact I tome on my hands! Sadly the job is not some hourly paid job, however from what i've seen from youtube gameplay footage it looks very well done, and that leads me to getting revenue share.

Anyways i'm just so happy that with a couple days to spare in the year LOL i got a job! Sure i won't get paid yet but I got a flipping job, it is what i wanted for christmas!!

It is a gamble being revenue share and all but i'm willing to risk it!

So my coworker was trying to `npm install` after I recently installed Ubuntu on her machine and for some reason , I was doing something else, some jdk not being installed error popped on her screen.

She proceeded to have a mini freak out telling me that npm wasn't working because java wasn't installed and I started hysterically laughing in the middle of the office with my boss next to her staring at me... So I said firmly ( while laughing ):

"no bahuhaahah that's not hahahaha the case."

Still can't understand wtf she thinks happens with stuff in a computer... Cmon...

So much debugging

Meme quoting one of our employees who sent in a ticket asking if something was a "phishing technique without the use of email."

One of my coworkers calls Firefox "Google". Oddly enough she also uses Chrome but calls it "Chrome". I get confused every time she asks me to help her with her computer.

After 2 weeks of ranting I have honestly ran out of rants.
Either my life as a dev is too good or I'm clearly not coding enough.
The later seems more plausible.

So I've been using the command "poweroff" to shut down my Linux system, tried searching only if this is safe or not, mostly people just speak of "shutdown -h now" or something like that. So my question is: Is it safe to shut down Linux using the "poweroff" command?

You know what really boils my piss?
Clients who email in all caps.
"URGENT HELP, CAN'T RECEIVE EMAILS"
Followed by two lines of bitching about how this keeps happening and they'll move elsewhere if it's not fixed asap at 11pm.
WELL GUESS WHAT?
YOU MOVED YOUR EMAILS AWAY ALREADY!

After a week of denial, misery, pain and stupidity, I have successfully configured my laptop for Theano and Keras!
Cheers to a week of Stackoverflowing!

Best: Got my first real job

Worst: Had to maintain an 8 year old java/jsf nightmare of a project

I'm not getting why you guys complain about being judged for "hacking" while using the terminal.

In my case I'd occasionally like to open a terminal in my lubuntu (or archlinux in my previous times where the laptop was running smooth and i had to learn everything about how an OS works and spending most of the time searching about errors to find more desperate people and no answers but the community's hopefully growing and it's the best distro if you're an experienced linux user but not in my case so i had to use lubuntu for now until mastering it) to trigger those around me and try to prove them wrong afterwards.

I'll hit the airport for fun when i have time.

My permanently mounted sticker duck to explain my way out of coding errors.