Last year, this was in my news feed: https://lkml.org/lkml/2018/6/5/769

Will we ever see this Linus again after the COD bullshit?

I have been using the same silver spoon for 6 years. It sits in my drawer used and waiting for it's next mission. Have often thought of washing it in the lounge, but then I'd bump into people who excitedly introduce themselves and ask if I'm a new employee...I've been here 9 years.

Have never washed it, perhaps I'll get a big spoon to accompany my dirty spoon...

That sad sad moment you spot someone returning HTML in an ajax request 🥺

Why lord must you punish me?

Anyone have these 😍😍 I got them few days ago 😍😍

Well, that's a valid question 😂

Feature request: Add a popup in mobile app that asks to rate the devRant app

*muhahahahaha*

Funny error messages in a function I wrote long ago. Hehe

Junior dev: Can I run lint on your codebase
Senior dev: hmmm
Jdev: Its a very nice code inspection tool
Sdev: Go ahead
Jdev: wow 50 errors
Sdev:

What devrant taught me:

Everyone hates java
Everyone hates php
Everyone hates spaces
Everyone hates tabs
Everyone hates vim
Everyone hates windows
Everyone hates linux
Everyone hates clients
Everyone hates PMs
Everyone hates every language they're not working with
Everyone loves devrant 😊

Do{
me();
} while (hard == true);

How do I keep improving as a developer?
Well I think of the fucking misery I would have to face, if I don't.
(i.e going to clubs and socializing)

Soo truee!

My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.

A sign in front of startup office:
Do not feed the developers! We keep them on a soylent diet - eating real food might make them question their life choices.

Priority is obviously only family.

Today, a customer has demanded if I can fix its website i have deployed 5 years ago... "The fastest and free or charge please !"

Best office prank: I was pretty young and naaive. Senior dev comes to me and says that it would be hilarious to slide a note under the women's bathroom door saying, "I know what you're doing in there". He says that the woman in there will think it's hilarious too. We work with her, she's very funny and laid back, so I go along with it, expecting to get a laugh. A few minutes go by and a different older women enters my cube. She's got the note! She works on the other side of the building so I don't know her too well but I can tell from the look on her face that she's pissed. I'm frozen with fear as my career flashes before my eyes.
I apologise perfusely and try to explain but she's not having it. After a while she goes back to her office not having accepted that it wasn't meant for her and that it was just a joke gone wrong. I spend the next two days apologizing every chance I get, hoping she won't go to HR. She remains stone cold until late on the second day. She couldn't take it anymore as her mouth reluctantly begins to crack a smile. At that point she drops the serious expression on her face and busts out laughing.

It turns out that the three of them planned the whole thing and executed flawlessly. I've never felt so relieved to be the butt of a joke.

Microsoft mentioned devRant on Twitter

How about stop reading devRant every 5 minutes?

A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)

The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.

Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.

Bro just wanted some water...

Normal people go for the paternity tests while we developers go for the pattern-ity tests.