Lose some ...

This is hilarious 😂😂

Motherfucker I'm back.

Lake magadi. Team building activity.

I'll just put it here and let the internet judge.

parseInt(((height - 81 - 20 - 20 - 50 - 7 - 30 - 240) / 6), 10);

How many of you practically do that🌚

Just had a Mac user in a Linux chat. Guy was trying to setup MySQL, yada yada yada... Turns out that the guy didn't know what a PATH is.
Let that sink in for a moment. A developer, with a hipster MacBook that probably cost him several grand.. but doesn't know what a PATH is.

Please kill me. 🙂🔫

😭😭😭😭😭😭

LAMo everyone is doning it!!!

Does anyone else get irrationally annoyed when a team member says "Hi" via slack/messenger etc. and then nothing else until you say "Hi" back, and only then describes what they want?

Dahhhhhh. Stop wasting my time. Just ask what you want.

Accidentally hugged my boss. It's fine, I can't have more than 100 years left to carry this memory around anyways.

[Client]
We've noticed we gave you the wrong product prices for our new online shop.

[Dev]
Yeah, just login to the backend and fix them.

[Client]
But we don't want to use your fancy backend, we'll be using anyway soon - we want EXCEL!
Could you send us an EXCEL, so we can fix that?
How much will this cost?

[Dev]
Sure... here you are.
Not that much, takes about an hour.

[Client]
Great, you'll hear from us in a few days.

(a few months later...)

[Client]
We've finally managed to update the EXCEL. And btw, we've also added a bunch of columns with product pictures and new properties, highlighted products to delete red, inserted some comments with manual instructions and basically destroyed the entire data structure of this table.

Before I forget... also make sure to get this finished today, we have to go live ASAP. Our marketing campaign is already live.

[Dev]
Well, I'm sorry to say this, but this is not possible.
I'm currently working on another project and it will take me hours to clean up the data you sent me, before even starting to build an import tool for the new data you provided. Better stop the campaign and I'll do my best to get this done by the end of the week. Also it may be a bit costly.

(angry client calls immediately...)

(dev transfers to manager...)

(client transfers to client's boss...)

[Manager]
Ok Dev, I think I was able to explain it to them. However, it would be great if you spend day and night to get this thing out ASAP.

[Dev]
No problem...
I'll just do it by hand to get this out immediately.

(few days later; nearly done, exhausted)

[Client]
Hey Dev, here's another EXCEL.
We've just noticed there were a bunch of errors in the previous one. Please use this instead...

David Fox advertising about devRant on quora back in 2017

Found this gem on Neil Fraser's blog!

LoL relatable

The guard at our school thinks I'm hacking

My parents thinks I'm hacking

My teacher thinks I'm hacking

But all I did was only build Redis from source...

Bruh

When you try to dive deep into the docs.
oops

Side projects..
This describes the shit very accurately.

hope not a repost tho

Here’s a poster with a super short description of each one to help you keep track and find some new useful Linux tools.

Some ideas for variable names. Thank me later :))

1. bool sheet;
2. int entionally;
3. char mander;
4. double penetration;
5. string cheese;
6. long schlong;

Alexa, wtf......

I didn’t want to wait for the adapter to come in…

No, thank you.😆

What the hell am I searching on Google?

*In a team meeting*

Me: *happily jotting down notes in markdown*

Other guy: "Dude what are you doing? Pay attention."
Me: "Umm... I'm taking notes?"
Other guy: "But why does your MS Word have black background?"
Me (a bit lost): "Umm... That's not Word. That's my text editor."
Other guy: "Alright... But how do you convert your notes into Word then?"
Me: "... I don't."
Other guy: *stares at me*
Me: * stare back*

It was a nice conversation.

We need more JS devs for our frontend.
After half a year of PM complaining that he doesn’t find devs, he finally came back to us:
„Sorry guys, I found two devs, but they are not Java developers, they only do JavaScript“
Me:
Team:
*both speechless*
TeamLead: „... wait, you searched for Java devs half a year?“

3 billion devices run Java.......

Makes sense.

That moment when you ask your friend if he/she has plugged it in and they say yes and your answer is ”send a picture” and they respond with this....

I just found a developers/designers worst nightmare...