When I press a button I expect it to respond!

Not to freeze the entire program!! Especially when I need to press this freaking button a 100 times a day!!!

I'm looking at you UNITY 3D!! !@#$%^&*

Does anyone else get so self conscious about writing neat, clean and efficient code that you get demotivated because you always think "there's a better way to do this".

The cleanest code is no code at all. 😂

Just saw this today, error 500 Youtube , Highly trained monkeys?🐵 🛠 😂 🤣

This semester, I had to pay a considerable amount of money to access the online homework for a class.

College is literally pay-to-win.

Tester - The app has a bug when I try to buy a ticket
Me - okay, what's the bug ?
Tester - it shows an error
Me (trying to not high-five him with a chair in the face) - What's the error message?
Tester - ah nvm it works now!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Explain the issue you dimwit, don't just say it doesn't fucking work!

Is it bad that I refer to non-programmers as muggles?

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a scrum master.

My windows friend's actual reaction to me switching over to Linux.

That was.. Unexpected...

"Today I won't code, I'll just play some games or watch TV and relax!"

"Hmmm... I'll just fix this one small thing here... shouldn't take long. And then its time for some gaming!"

* 3 hours later *

Still coding, wtf is wrong with me

Our text book still has Windows 98.

Peer-to-peer connection.

🙂

I believe this has saved us every so often...

I can’t count money as quick. I don’t know how to operate a cash register. I’m bad at following small tasks in the kitchen. Ex: girlfriend yells at me for putting unstrained yolk in recipe (after straining it).

I can’t lift heavy stuff. Out of breathe helping my mom move. My uncle told me, “if you can’t do that, how can you work?” Then he touts his son around proudly for being in the army. I felt like shit for years.

My cousins told me to get a job at McDonald’s to learn the value of a dollar. I spent all this time studying and hadn’t found a single job at the time (not that I was looking). I was living off financial aid and some income from an app that sold for a dollar on the App Store.

I would mess up if I worked there. It was depressing guys. These people who worked at McDonald’s and Starbucks. It was like a cool club that I couldn’t be a part of! I wanted to be that smooth barista at Starbucks with a smug look on my face. Making coffee for all the ladies and writing hearts next to their name on the cup.

The responsibilities of going to work day after day and blowing your paycheck at a meal at Denny’s with your friends. Complaining about not getting enough hours and talking about adult stuff! Sigh sigh sigh. Oh and taxes! Let’s complain about taxes on a single W-2 just for the hell of it (not sure why they do this when you can file a simple 1040EZ) even though we get a refund.

Then..

After many paid internships (roughly 3), now I may be receiving an offer that is 100k+ with a 401k and all benefits I can imagine. Free food up the wazoo. Gym on site. Happy hour Friday’s.

I brag about taking a shit for an hour at work and coworkers don’t give a shit. Or taking a day off to do personal errands anytime.

Having my own place in a nice area (though the cost of living is enough to take care of 3 families in another state). Supporting my girlfriend through school and helping her with her dreams of art.

Going to fancy dinners and not worrying about the bill afterwards.
Accidentally damaging my 2017 Honda Accord and not giving a fuck because I can pay $900 for repair with less than a week of work.

But I can’t help but think that all this time..

I could’ve just quit and worked at McDonalds. I could’ve been one of the cool kids..

There was a problem with a server we were staging on, and I was providing DevOps help remote.

As a joke I said, "haha if you run `sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root` everything will be fixed!"

They ran it. RIP server-kun 2016-2018 💨

So this happened about a year ago. I was going bowling with some friends that day. My brother was invited, but he needed to finish a couple of programs for a MATLAB class.

So I drive my friends to the bowling place, then head to where my bro is saying. Once there my brother starts going over the program, he tells me what it's supposed to do and such. I follow along and I'm thinking "yup, this makes sense". That's when he tells me "The logic is fine, but look at what happens when I run it".

The program works fine...

We just stare at the screen, then at each other. "Your welcome" I tell him with a grin.

Linux user on a Windows machine: "ugh, this is terrible."
Windows user on a Linux machine: "I don't know what I'm doing."

Discovered that its possible to bookmark places in code for easy access.

My whole life has been a lie so far.

When your question on StackOverflow has more than 5 upvotes and an accepted answer with around 10 upvotes, and then some asshole moderator decides it is a duplicate and deletes it.

My first project and the reason I learnt to code. I was a manager at a supermarket and wanted a discount card for the old people so just wouldnt have to walk to the tills.

First I wrote hello world, then a calculator and then a loyalty card system for my store. It was wildly successful and the fact my scrap code even ran is a miracle. Shortly after launching it in my store I met a like minded investor with an actual dev team hooked it up to a web service and I spent the next 3 years rolling it out nationally to 480 stores. It's still running today.

I made a program that dispenses coins in 345 lines. It tells you if the coin tray is in place, and if it didn't dispense enough coins it will tell you how many successfully dispensed. It also has ACK\NAK communication. It's written in C for a specialized microcontroller.

I have written code that talks to 4 devices, but this is the only one I have written the code for. In 2 years it has never had a bug, and always responds quickly and correctly via RS 232.

Wtf!
This is the github version of "Nothing" android app. 😑

I came first in a 48 hour 4x person gamejam with a game idea in 6 hours with 3x people.

Some info: I had an idea as soon as the topic went live, told the team this is the idea (button masher), we are going to do it in unity (at the time I was working at a studio that used UE4.x), and I'll also make a custom controller using an old keyboard to make it more fun. Ended up coming first place and won a nice bottle of champagne each, and at no point did we over stretch. Nice clean project with a good night's sleep in-between. The team was me (dev), an artist and a technical designer.

That was my first start to finish use of unity and C#, and now I exclusively use unity and make games for Xbox One and Steam.

Started using longer passphrases for logins, colleague starts to tell people I'm doing bad things because"no one needs a password that long"

I get reprimanded by my boss

How the hell does this even happen smh

Bots are too predictable nowadays.

Elon Musk: Space junk is a serious issue
Also Elon Musk: I put a Tesla into orbit lol

Love this guy