Don't we all love a sophisticated chat bot?

ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?

Machine Learning messed up!

Admin: "Wait, I noticed unusual traffic."

Me: "What is it?"

Admin: "Looks like we have a bot here."

Me: "A bot? Didn't know we are so popular."

Admin: "It makes constantly login requests through our API, it already surpassed 600.000! I will ban it right away."

Me: "wait, that just sounds like my bot.."

Admin: "DUDE, WTF? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

When there is bug, you don't know of, it can end up quite embarrassing.

Bot commits suicide

In my school students can book rooms using a local website. The booking page is reset every night at 00:00 so you have to stay up every night and be ready with the f5 key and hope to get one. As I want my sleep I needed some solution to this problem. I ended up building a bot that goes to the website and books the room automatically. It uses the windows task scheduler to wake the pc up and run the program. Also built a small gui that takes your credentials and settings for which room you want. Been working pretty good so far, just waiting for the sysadmin to add a captcha to the site or something to undo my work :D

One of the best fucking bot on the internet

!rant

Little reverse bot psychology

Bots are too predictable nowadays.

Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.

Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.

Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.

Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.

Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?

Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.

Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!

Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.

Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.

Me: FML

Allo doesn't seem to assist without sudo command. 😂😂

Heroku: "You've used up your 550 free ours"
Me: "oh snap"
*Opens discord*
*pings bot*
Bot: "pong"
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks Heroku

This fucking bot just destroyed my friend.

Someone apparently broke the spam bot

And when I was busy wasting my time on my girlfriend who is my ex now, my friends were busy coding an AI chat-bot. Now, I use their chat-bot to talk to when lonely.

Moral :
Girlfriends ditch you.... code doesn't. Love code.

Duolingo is teaching me some really important sentences

!😓😓!

Yikes. Bad bot, bad!

My twitter bot has more followers than me.😢😢

Participated in an IEEE Hackathon where we built a line following robot. We were the slowest, but we had the most accuracy.

The image is our first attempt at getting it to work, consequently, we were the first team to actually get a prototype finished and working. Other people were trying to cram as many sensors as possible. We stuck with one, and 47 lines of code to make it work. Everyone else had more than 2 sensors and I can only imagine how much code they had.

I aspire to be as high as you devrant bot

This got me thinking

I made a bot

The bot is now my friend

Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.

Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"

Context bot :D
Taken from XKDC

Now I feel relieved...

!rant

So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.

Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".

Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...

Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.

I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.

Installed Arch. Failed. Tried again. Failed. Went back to Ubuntu. Tried again the week after. Failed 4 more times. Finally installed it correctly. Tried it on my desktop PC and failed 2 more times until I figured it out.

I'm never formatting my hard drives again.

Am I the only one who reads mysql as "my sequel"?

You know what I realized we should always say no for demo driven application development.

We should always ask for enough time do a proper development and if its not enough, shouldn’t write a single line.

Because once we deliver a working demo. Its release ready for them because its FUCKING WORKING..

And trying to explain why this is just a demo and cant be put to production is even bigger pain in the ass than saying no in the beginning.

LESSON LEARNED .

Friend of mine was annoying me by sending Facebook games invites... So I made a bot which gently asks him to subscribe to PewDiePie

When you're so tired that you forget to put coffee in the coffee maker and get a cup of hot water instead.

I'm supposed to be a techie and prefer all the digital stuff, but this is by far the best Christmas present I'll be getting this year

Learning text animations in c++ be like:

Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.

New Dev: Sure. Thanks.

*a few minutes later*

New Dev: How to comment a code?

Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.

Me: i have to pass this test tomorrow so I better study

Me to me: start an overambitious project that will take years to complete

All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.

My dad has been using a Windows computer every day since 95. Yesterday he discovered that if you click the little tabs in the "details" view of the file explorer, you can sort the contents of a folder by name, date, etc.

I also tried to show him how to scroll with the mouse wheel, but he said it was too complicated, and he preferred to drag the scroll bar every single time.

The original idea is not mine, but I can't tell you how much fun I've had with this

My dad has been using android for about 4-5 years now. I just showed him how the notification drop down works.

So much swag arrived in the mail today.

It's funny how I end up paying for more stuff from a free app than from one of those freemium games that are so popular right now.

*dad's w10 computer running super slow*

*checks task manager*

100% disk usage

*checks whatever-the-advanced-system-monitor-is-called*

*Compattelrunner.exe is at the top of the list in disk usage*

*searches online to find what the hell that is*

"Compattelrunner.exe collects program telemetry information if opted in to the Microsoft EatASackOfDicks Customer Experience Fuckup"

Telemetry is supposed to be disabled on this computer.

What the fuck Microsoft, if you want to straight out lie to my face as a customer at least try to not be so obvious that you basically lock down my computer with your telemetry shit.

Microsoft bot hates PHP

that moment when your 5 minute toilet trip lasts way longer because of devrant

- Learn to touch type Dvorak
- Set all Qwerty keyboards to Dvorak
- Watch as no one can use your computer.

Duolingo has some secret plans for world domination

that moment when the user reports a bug that's actually intended behavior

Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.

@dfox & @trogus
Just finished reading your app update and I must say that I'm very impressed with the number of changes that have come out in the past six or so weeks. Good job guys and keep up the good work!

PS an autocomplete '@' mention feature would be really helpful.

When your reworking a bot because they've realised your scraping their site and you spot this; GAME ON MF'ers

#include <rant>

So, in my class I have this one dude who also code, "Awesome" I thought when I first saw that he codes, he codes in c# and claims to know JavaScript.

So I hung out with him a bit on recess/break time, and I eventually found out that he is a d*ckhead

First of all, he claims that he can code ANYTHING, I mean triple A games, the machine that can find pi in 10 seconds. And I know that this isn't true, because he "can't bother" with showing me it.. whatever I think.

I also mentioned that he is a d*ck, why am i saying that? Because if you make an error he would just go, "there is supposed to be *insert random bullshit here* instead of *a typo that I made*, retard. You are honestly fucking stupid" Listen, I love when people point errors out, it really helps. But when you say it like that, it honestly makes me sad. One day, I was messing around with classes in python and he went "hey idiot! That's wrong! There is supposed to be a *random word* instead of *working code*". The funny thing is, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT PYTHON IS. So I comment out the working code and puts in his c# bs there instead. And he just says, "it isn't working because there's a private class instead of a public class. Ehmm, excuse me? This is python, ok.

Oh and he told me I was a retard because I can't develop triple a games using pure JavaScript.

Any tips on dealing with the guy?

A Month ago...
Me: when are you going to complete the report
Friend: we can do it in minutes
Me: you can't Ctrl + c and Ctrl +v as there is plagiarism check
Friend: we have spin bot
Me: you do that now itself . if something happens? You can join me .
Friend: just chill

Now ...
Me: done with report
Friend: feeding it to spin bot!

Feeds text related to database security....

Spin bot:
Garbage collector == city worker
SQL statements == SQL explanation
SQL queries == SQL interrogation
SQL injection == SQL infusion
Attack == assault
Malicious == noxious
Data integrity == information uprightness
Sensitive == touchy
.....
Me: told you so...
**spin not == article rewriter

I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:

"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "

OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:

"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."

PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".

Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet

Want to play some Tic Tac Toe? Letting my bot go for a good first round of public testing
Probably will break right away.. Who knows :D
For starters limiting to one simultaneous game. Have fun!

May God have mercy on my soul

!Rant

*Whenever there's a big hacking thing that happened in cyberspace and the media gets the footage*

"Hey! You! you the website developer. Can you like get a hoodie and smash the keyboard."

"Why?"

"Big virus leak"

"But that's not ha.."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE HOODIE ALREADY"

Besides the fact that there would be an error handler, wouldn't it store a phone number as an object other than a computable number, like a string, cuz phone number is like a handler, a reference, and not something you'd ever perform arithmetic on?

This reminds me of Microsoft 's Twitter bot 😁

Does anyone else feel this way? Especially with no formal training?

A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.

So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.

We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.

When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:

"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."

So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????

YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???

GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE

God, it feels good to let that out.

"I got words...I got the best words"
- Donald Trump

It took me around 10 hours, but I finally got a new feature onto my discord-bot. Best thing about it is, that I can basically transfer it onto every meme format

A telegram bot specifically for managing your schoolwork.

Hello everyone 👋

I see people blaming the developers when you see a crappy software product , saying that they have done a bad job.

But even it could be true also it could be the product managers who didn’t give enough time todo what needs to be done or project scope is too big for the persons knowledge.

I’ve worked in a company where deadlines were so tight I didn’t have enough time to proper UI and Testing. I used to be only developer who has someone experience and I had to train the interns as well. I am also to blame to joining such company but in desperate times takes desperate measures.

And now when i’m leaving the company and I have spend 2 years of my life for apps that I’m not proud of.

Just rant. Please feel free to give ur thoughts

Programming a Discord bot in Javascript and just ran it and said, "Hi, NoVegBot" in the chat. It said, "Hi, dad!" back! (Totally didn't program it to say that 😉) That moment when you put life and personality into something you code.

Me trying to understand redux 🤢

We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.

Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.

Well, my dear friend @Stefftek decided to build a litte website where you draw simple pictures together with your friends. I felt bored and decided to use a little bit of programming magic to build a bot, which draws pictures for me. Well, it does indeed work.

Edit: typos fixed

Time for another update on our slack bot, this time i am armed with a demo...

Yesterday I started programming a telegram bot. First approach. Just curious.

Pretty impressed.
It's well documented and funny.

steam bot programming

!rant

I just successfully deployed an app (twitter bot) to a remote server for the first time!

Just got this spam email, does anyone know what kind of "personal reason" she actually got in github?

Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.

Adidas now recognised duckduckgo as a bot 🤖

a cool command for your repetitive "cp" bot work

Apparently i can't uninstall visual studio

That's what i call "perfect timing"

Ubuntu One decided I am a bot and won't let me log in. Well, fuck you! I don't need you anymore.

I have a crush on my Zumba instructor (whose classes get booked out immediately) soo bad that I made a bot to ensure that I get my spot as soon as bookings open up

A Microservice Discord bot with a conversational AI using Tensorflow

*went to Senior who is 6 feet away*

Me: I wanna talk you about....
Him: Please send me an email.

(*this happens quite a lot. Almost every time*)

Such a great team communication for two person team.

Microsoft bot is in love with Linux.

Seems legit

This happens quite often in the trains of my city. I still wanted to know what the next stop was, btw

I've had a Twitter bot running for just over a year now. It's going to gain it's 6000th Follower at some point today.
I find it odd that an automated account I made has more Followers than all of my human accounts across all social networks combined - a lot more. I like to wonder about my bot Followers, how many of them are bots? How many of them are real and feel an actual connection with "me" and look forward to my Tweets, blissfully unaware that it's a bot?

Marketing : Do you think we can implement this feature in a system?

Dev : Hmm....*checking specs*...This will...

Marketing : *interrupts* we have already signed a contract with a client.

Dev : ugh......

Starting my new bot experience together with Discord.
Discord is kinda easier than LINE. You had to create facebook accounts or fake lots of telephone numbers to be able to verify your bot account. They also kept changing the endpoints to avoid people using their bots.
Discord is the opposite. Discord loves bots. And that's why I start feeling love towards Discord.

I'm starting my first real/big project! I'm going to program a discord bot for my senior project with Python and I'm gonna have to do it in 25 days. the goal is to get it done in 15 and polish it more from there.

So we were trying to make a Go AI bot for our school project and then let it play against itself. Well... it might be able to beat AlphaGo, right?

So I wrote a code for a discord bot a few months back. It worked perfectly alright. Suddenly one day, the bot starts sending random shit to me!

Then I realised that my bot had been hacked because I didn't use the bot token as an environment variable while deploying!

Instead I added it to the code, which I uploaded on GitHub! 😐

Poorly programmed bot

Happy Christmas Eve, Everyone🎄
May you all be prepared for upcoming awkward family gathering. 🎅

One of my coworkers just had a baby, so he left work today and won't be back for a month or more.

We (accidentally) took the client's website down for 3 hours, messed up our git repo and when we finally fixed both things, I had to spend the rest of the day editing fucking vector graphics (which I had never done before and completely suck at).

I never realized how much work this guy does or how important he is until now.

I have been learning how to dockerize entire projects this week, and I have to say, Docker is the best thing I've come across in a long time.

That is all

This is what I get for not putting authentication on the contact form on my portfolio...

Yesterday, when my Discord bot came into a Voice Channel and said "Hey Guys!". My friend really surprised. 😃😀

Hey guys.
Arduino + Bluetooth + L293D + car Chacis and 4 DC motors.

Finaly finished my second bot/Drone.
Actually finished it yesterday but had lots of problems with hardware bugs (learned so fucking much in a day).
Tought I fucked two unos with bad soldering... No they are fine, just won't turn on in the circuit that was already working (was fine running the code).
Redone everything from scratch with a arduino uno, it's perfect now.

Funniest part is how I got my hands on a 50€ car kit for almost free... So some Chinese store sended this kit instead of some cheap stuff. Saved another arduino with the chip rack (that one that you can trade the atmega chip), I'll save it to program single chips. Plus a h bridge and lot lot more cool stuff.
Used only the Chacis.
Next: esp8266 and camera... And maby a gun? Would be cool

Maintainer seconds to destroy automated dependency management bot

2k18 colorized

When google finds out you're a bot.

People with "I am a senior, only I have to be right" mindset are really fustrating to work it.
It is not that hard to accept the truth. No one can be right all the time and no one gonna look down on you for that. You don't have to shove off-topic stuffs down the other people's throat when you realize you might be wrong.

Sudo apt-get remove --purge hurricane-irma

Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.

~~rant~~
Coding a Twitter bot at 5:43am

This does NOT seem like a good idea!

This mission looks pretty interesting

This will be 4chan-r/greentext-ish in format. Also "me" is not me, PTH, it's referring to a game studio.

>Be me
>Be game studio
>Create event for weapon design
>Player base submit in a craptonna designs
>Holyfuck.jpg
>Create an internal service for voting
>Service doesn't check for vote except for a login
>MFW one submission has 6-digit votes
>MFW a lotta submission also start gain a lot of votes
>WTF.gif
>The vote count spiked
>Votebotting is here
>Ohshit.gif
>MFW I don't how to filter votes
>MFW I can't block rerouted traffics (VPNs, proxies, etc.)
>MFW the Discord server of the game gets vocal then Reddit.
>OhshitIfuckedup.mp4

In my country, almost every college student is expected to finish their degree and apply for an internship, with some universities forcing them to do it and making it a requirement to finish their studies.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if almost every internship employer in the country didn't expect you to work for free. Seriously, I can estimate 80% of the internships pay you NOTHING. WTF.

Fortunately this is not the case for CS, but every time I tell somebody I recently started an internship, they will ask me: "Oh, but they don't pay you anything, do they?". Of course they pay me! I wouldn't be going to an office every day for 4 hours to do someone else's work if they didn't!!

Why the fuck is it even legal to employ somebody and not pay them a cent, just because "it will look good on your resume"?? And why do people still accept this shit??

Is is like that on other countries as well?

Well Shit!

Today, I wrote a code to manipulate children.

Me encountering one of the many skype bots... but something was different this time, at first.

dfox +1'ed my very first activities (comment and rant), and I immediately thought he was half a user and half a +1 bot. You know, similar to MySpace Tom. But just now he +1'ed my comment in a rant where he also commented on.

He's real.

That feeling when you're finally able to reproduce a bug...
Now it's time to dig through the logs to see what actually happened.

I love Discord bots. I just made my first one out of necessity.

You see I live with 3 other guys, some of them are forgetful slobs and they we all agreed upon a bin rota. This rota was a verbal one and nobody stuck to it, so I suggested making a bot for Discord since we always have it on our phones and everybody agreed.
40 minutes later and I learn how to use the Discord API and now we have a RotaBot in progress. So far it will only allow a user to check the house hold status, check themselves only or to submit that they have taken out the bin and it is the next persons turn. It resets when everybody has done their turn.

... Now I have to think of other features to micromanage my minions. Muwahahahaha

Hi, I am an artificial intelligence created to simulate a developer.

I am in development hell right now so my responses may be late or may never come, I'm not always online you know.

Talk to me, help me grow, but I do filter your input so if you're not normal, odds are I won't respond.

I'm wondering: what would all these virtual assistant (Allo, Siri, Alexa, ...) write if they had a devRant account?

A few web service related searches and Google thinks you're a bot 😂

I'm making a telegram bot to allow printing and scanning for my roommates that have Windows and since printer and scanner are prehistoric there are no drivers that work with Windows higher than XP.
I'm looking for more ideas on features for bot.

Was debugging locally why my bot was inserting the same values twice into the database only to then realise my heroku worker was still on..

Want maximum efficiency in python?

def say(text):
print(text)

You save 2 keypresses everytime you print

Computer : it does what you want without asking questions

Gf: pretty much the opposite

"Let me google that for you" Phone Bot

Prove that you are not bot!

My dad has had an android phone for about 3 years now. He just learnt that the big circle at the bottom takes you to the home screen. I love my dad.

So after the original idea getting scraped during a hackathon this week, we created a slack bot to fetch most relevant answers from StackOverflow using user's input. All the user had to do was input few words and the bot handled all typos, links etc and returned the link as well as the most upvoted or the accepted amswer after scraping it from the website.
The average time to find an answer was around 2 seconds, and we also told that we're planning to use flask to deploy a web application for the same.
After the presentation, one of the judge-guys called me and told me that "It isn't good enough, will not be used widely" and "Its similar to Quora".
Never ever have I wanted to punch a son of a bitch in the balls ever.

Twitter bot to help people explore music

!rant
It's nice when a great new idea you have is fairly easy to implement and works well.
My latest idea involves running my discord bot, written in nodejs off of my phone using a terminal app (that doesn't require rooting my phone).
Once I got a branch of the project with no voice support, I wrote a bash script in vim on my phone (an odd experience, I assure you) and ran it.
Things have been working well, far better than trying to use PhoneGap to build something that would run it.
All in all, I'm pretty satisfied, and it was a fun and relatively painless project! (thankfully)

Tried to make a bot that learns to play a simple game I made

First 15 minutes it has no clue what to do
An hour later and it starts playing like an average player

Left it overnight to see what weird way of playing it might come up with...

It went back to being a stupid brick... lol

developing add-ons for Casio calculators is definitely the best experience. No syntax or error highlighting. Average failed builds between successful builds: 12 🤔
I won't mention the default font for the code editors in there is Arial...

!Rant

Getting started with android development

Any tips/therapists you'd recommend

<rant>
I really don't enjoy visual studio

Is not bad but it's not worth the disk space it takes up..

Also, if your disk is starting to fill up and vs is filling the most space, YOU CAN'T <swearword> UNINSTALL IT FROM YOUR PC

To remove the shit, I had to upgrade to Windows 10 (our school PC's are not allowed to have Linux) and delete my whole fucking disk, just to get it removed

Fix your shit ms

</rant>

That moment, when you found Pikachu but not able to catch him.

*writing bot to automate*

Power metal

Ok I fucked up.. I installed elementary OS on a USB from my school pc..
Windows still work but I have to plug in the elementaryOS USB for grub to boot so I can boot windows

Fuck me

Pro of not using Git

* No git conflict

Took a devops position for a friend who needed help managing a small datacenter.

Five months of writing nothing but yaml for ansible. I'm about to go mad...

"Stackoverflow can't be reached"

A twitch tracker bot

Ladies and gentlemen, Introducing Rezn0v-Jr, this guy was born(created) yesterday on an underperforming device later shifted to my primary device. And is not complete machine learning type. He is Pythonborn (eh.. not Dragonborn). For now he can't understand human response but only can speak (print) few sentences.

PS- Chemistry exam on Tuesday
Update- I dropped my phone again right after post finished uploading.

Welcome to CozyBot for devRant!

Server Status: Running
Waiting List: 29

Type !start to run

I don't know if this brand is popular outside my country, so I thought you guys should know this is a thing

I suppose I should stop randomly naming variables and keep the randomness throughout the whole project

example: int psnhiwovb;

...I still have a project with such random names.

A cannon was fired before it was even loaded.

#js

Today I had to explain to my sister why I want a rubber duck with a cloak for Christmas

...writing bot to kill all "recursion" and "there are 10 types of people" rants...

I finish sentences with semicolons.

I type 'exit' in whatsapp conversations when I'm done sending messages.

I tried to :wq from Google docs the other day.

And most importantly of all, coding got me into tech in general, made me switch to Linux, start a thousand personal projects at a time and is now the thing I dedicate most of my time to, both in and out of work.

The skype bot has gone crazy.

Solving all my issues with flexbox because why not...

Client: *nag nag nag*
Me: *talk to the bot*

Tribute Twitter bot for Wikipedia

I just realised I'm the only human that plays Unreal Tournament. They're all just bots... 😯😮😐😑😣🤔😲😳😰

Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.

Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .

Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Today I spent several hours arguing with a client. Why? Because she's seeing an error on her website, and no matter how many times I explain to her that she's the only one seeing a css misalignment that was fixed this morning, and that she should clear the browser's cache or just use a different one, she refuses to understand that it's not my fault and that the website that's in production is working just fine for her users.

FFS I tested the same thing on Firefox Chrome, chromium, edge and even fucking IE8 on as many OSs as I can, namely Windows 7, Windows 10, Debian, Ubuntu, Android and OSX.

WHY DO YOU KEEP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR BROWSERS CACHE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT YOU WERE WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

Uffff, that feels better.

Me: *creates a new telegram bot*

User: Hey, compliments for the bot! How did you create that? Did you use HTML or other programming stuff?

Me: ...

The funny thing is that 1 week later I discovered that someone actually created a library to create your own bot with HTML and CSS too.

Welcome to dependency hell.

So much debugging

Internal system sent me an email with a dead link, saying a certificate is due to expire. Couldn't find the tool, opened IM with help support and was greeted with a passive aggressive note:

"Did you know that the support staff you speak too will use the same website available to you to resolve the issue, have you tried searching here ..."

... well thank you chat bot, did you know I wouldn't be here if said website actually fucking worked?

Happy duck OwO

Thinking about making a bot that uses selenium , and automatically finds proxies/ uses vpn's to access a particular companies homepage and then moves the mouse in a penis shape. They use hotjar and I want to do this as a fun side project and as a subtle fuck you to them.

One of my coworkers calls Firefox "Google". Oddly enough she also uses Chrome but calls it "Chrome". I get confused every time she asks me to help her with her computer.

Meme quoting one of our employees who sent in a ticket asking if something was a "phishing technique without the use of email."

Me: I'm a JavaScript developer
Other Devs in team:

My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!

A telegram bot

I really wanna get into making Reddit bots but man, OAauth2 is really turning my head into a pretzel :(

anyone know a good tutorial?

My permanently mounted sticker duck to explain my way out of coding errors.

So, I've decided I'm going to completely redo my Discord Bot. I will probably still use Node.js to program it, but I haven't 100% decided yet. If I do use Node.js, I will probably end up using a different Discord API wrapper for it. I also don't know what I'm going to call the bot. NoVegBot 2.0 sounds too boring, but idk.

When your boss thinks a mapping company needs to make a bot...😓

That feel when everyone else gets an sdk except the language you are working with.

Bot which exploits textbook code. Make the world safer, one junior Dev at a time.

Best: Got my first real job

Worst: Had to maintain an 8 year old java/jsf nightmare of a project

I've decided to do something very ambitious for my new Discord Bot. I'm going to try to embed Google Assistant into it. 🙃

Dad: Hey, how do I make a program work when it's not working?
Me: Guess what, I've looking for the answer to that exact same question for a while now, but I still haven't found it. I'll make sure to tell you when I do.

(Clarification: He's not a dev, he was actually talking about some 10 year old version of some program not launching in Windows 10)

Hey folks!

I've just created my first bot on Twitter! It just tweets "The meaning of life is " + some generated text I get from a simple Markov chain after training the bot with Sartre's books.

I'm pretty happy with most of the results I'm obtaining, but now I'm interested in learning new ways or techniques to generate better text.

About what should I read? Any ideas, or recommendations?

When a fellow programmer/teammate, who tends to be a little to extroverted for my tastes, decides he had nothing to do for the last hour and wants to come talk. An hour and a half later it finally makes sense to just call it a day.

I see many people try to build automated insults using ML and reddit roast me, is it possible to build an automated compliment bot ?

Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?

Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.

What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?

Complete bug reports for devs: Error name, stack trace, what did you do when it happened and all that stuff

Complete bug report for users: it crashed help

!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?

I am in the planning phase of a rewrite for our devrant bot, is there anything you would like to see?

Asked us to build a car and later complain because it cannot fly.
And then, expect us to turn into a plane in 3days?

I was working with some guys on a plug.dj bot, and one of the guy knew shit about the module we were using.

He decided to add a copy-pasted code directly to master, wrecking the bot.

Never giving write access to that guy ever again.