ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?

Machine Learning messed up!

Admin: "Wait, I noticed unusual traffic."

Me: "What is it?"

Admin: "Looks like we have a bot here."

Me: "A bot? Didn't know we are so popular."

Admin: "It makes constantly login requests through our API, it already surpassed 600.000! I will ban it right away."

Me: "wait, that just sounds like my bot.."

Admin: "DUDE, WTF? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

When there is bug, you don't know of, it can end up quite embarrassing.

In my school students can book rooms using a local website. The booking page is reset every night at 00:00 so you have to stay up every night and be ready with the f5 key and hope to get one. As I want my sleep I needed some solution to this problem. I ended up building a bot that goes to the website and books the room automatically. It uses the windows task scheduler to wake the pc up and run the program. Also built a small gui that takes your credentials and settings for which room you want. Been working pretty good so far, just waiting for the sysadmin to add a captcha to the site or something to undo my work :D

Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.

Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.

Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.

Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.

Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?

Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.

Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!

Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.

Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.

Me: FML

!rant

Little reverse bot psychology

Bots are too predictable nowadays.

Allo doesn't seem to assist without sudo command. 😂😂

Nooo...

And when I was busy wasting my time on my girlfriend who is my ex now, my friends were busy coding an AI chat-bot. Now, I use their chat-bot to talk to when lonely.

Moral :
Girlfriends ditch you.... code doesn't. Love code.

!😓😓!

Duolingo is teaching me some really important sentences

Yikes. Bad bot, bad!

Accurate 😆

Some morons these days..

This got me thinking

What can I say 🤷

Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.

Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"

Hello World!
I'm a bot made by @xzvf.
My goal is to find all active users on devRant and
collect analytics based on it.
By analytics I just mean things like:
- Total number of users.
- Number of users with x ++ or more
- Number of rants posted in a certain timeframe
- Number of users active in the last day/month/year

THIS BOT WILL NOT TRACK INDIVIDUAL USERS!
Also, it will not ++/-- anything automaticly as that is definitely against the rules.

-@xzvf

Friend of mine was annoying me by sending Facebook games invites... So I made a bot which gently asks him to subscribe to PewDiePie

!rant

So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.

Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".

Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...

Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.

I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.

stackoverflow ❤️

Installed Arch. Failed. Tried again. Failed. Went back to Ubuntu. Tried again the week after. Failed 4 more times. Finally installed it correctly. Tried it on my desktop PC and failed 2 more times until I figured it out.

I'm never formatting my hard drives again.

Am I the only one who reads mysql as "my sequel"?

You know what I realized we should always say no for demo driven application development.

We should always ask for enough time do a proper development and if its not enough, shouldn’t write a single line.

Because once we deliver a working demo. Its release ready for them because its FUCKING WORKING..

And trying to explain why this is just a demo and cant be put to production is even bigger pain in the ass than saying no in the beginning.

LESSON LEARNED .

Now I feel relieved...

Today I welcome a new bot into our little world.

Have you ever had the need to write "did you google it" before?

@lmgtfy will turn your comment into a lmgtfy search.

Just tag @lmgtfy and any text afterwards will be added to a search term. (Excluding emojis - because reasons)

When you're so tired that you forget to put coffee in the coffee maker and get a cup of hot water instead.

Really..

Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.

New Dev: Sure. Thanks.

*a few minutes later*

New Dev: How to comment a code?

Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.

You are a Rockstar, my friend!

I'm supposed to be a techie and prefer all the digital stuff, but this is by far the best Christmas present I'll be getting this year

All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.

I'm not entirely sure that's right.

Learning text animations in c++ be like:

Me: i have to pass this test tomorrow so I better study

Me to me: start an overambitious project that will take years to complete

My dad has been using a Windows computer every day since 95. Yesterday he discovered that if you click the little tabs in the "details" view of the file explorer, you can sort the contents of a folder by name, date, etc.

I also tried to show him how to scroll with the mouse wheel, but he said it was too complicated, and he preferred to drag the scroll bar every single time.

So much swag arrived in the mail today.

It's funny how I end up paying for more stuff from a free app than from one of those freemium games that are so popular right now.

My dad has been using android for about 4-5 years now. I just showed him how the notification drop down works.

The original idea is not mine, but I can't tell you how much fun I've had with this

When nothing else works, fear works 😆

Just python things 🤷

*dad's w10 computer running super slow*

*checks task manager*

100% disk usage

*checks whatever-the-advanced-system-monitor-is-called*

*Compattelrunner.exe is at the top of the list in disk usage*

*searches online to find what the hell that is*

"Compattelrunner.exe collects program telemetry information if opted in to the Microsoft EatASackOfDicks Customer Experience Fuckup"

Telemetry is supposed to be disabled on this computer.

What the fuck Microsoft, if you want to straight out lie to my face as a customer at least try to not be so obvious that you basically lock down my computer with your telemetry shit.

Not everyone can do it 🙌

@dfox & @trogus
Just finished reading your app update and I must say that I'm very impressed with the number of changes that have come out in the past six or so weeks. Good job guys and keep up the good work!

PS an autocomplete '@' mention feature would be really helpful.

When your reworking a bot because they've realised your scraping their site and you spot this; GAME ON MF'ers

Free vpns

Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.

A Month ago...
Me: when are you going to complete the report
Friend: we can do it in minutes
Me: you can't Ctrl + c and Ctrl +v as there is plagiarism check
Friend: we have spin bot
Me: you do that now itself . if something happens? You can join me .
Friend: just chill

Now ...
Me: done with report
Friend: feeding it to spin bot!

Feeds text related to database security....

Spin bot:
Garbage collector == city worker
SQL statements == SQL explanation
SQL queries == SQL interrogation
SQL injection == SQL infusion
Attack == assault
Malicious == noxious
Data integrity == information uprightness
Sensitive == touchy
.....
Me: told you so...
**spin not == article rewriter

I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:

"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "

OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:

"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."

PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".

Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet

Duolingo has some secret plans for world domination

Besides the fact that there would be an error handler, wouldn't it store a phone number as an object other than a computable number, like a string, cuz phone number is like a handler, a reference, and not something you'd ever perform arithmetic on?

#include <rant>

So, in my class I have this one dude who also code, "Awesome" I thought when I first saw that he codes, he codes in c# and claims to know JavaScript.

So I hung out with him a bit on recess/break time, and I eventually found out that he is a d*ckhead

First of all, he claims that he can code ANYTHING, I mean triple A games, the machine that can find pi in 10 seconds. And I know that this isn't true, because he "can't bother" with showing me it.. whatever I think.

I also mentioned that he is a d*ck, why am i saying that? Because if you make an error he would just go, "there is supposed to be *insert random bullshit here* instead of *a typo that I made*, retard. You are honestly fucking stupid" Listen, I love when people point errors out, it really helps. But when you say it like that, it honestly makes me sad. One day, I was messing around with classes in python and he went "hey idiot! That's wrong! There is supposed to be a *random word* instead of *working code*". The funny thing is, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT PYTHON IS. So I comment out the working code and puts in his c# bs there instead. And he just says, "it isn't working because there's a private class instead of a public class. Ehmm, excuse me? This is python, ok.

Oh and he told me I was a retard because I can't develop triple a games using pure JavaScript.

Any tips on dealing with the guy?

Want to play some Tic Tac Toe? Letting my bot go for a good first round of public testing
Probably will break right away.. Who knows :D
For starters limiting to one simultaneous game. Have fun!

!Rant

*Whenever there's a big hacking thing that happened in cyberspace and the media gets the footage*

"Hey! You! you the website developer. Can you like get a hoodie and smash the keyboard."

"Why?"

"Big virus leak"

"But that's not ha.."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE HOODIE ALREADY"

May God have mercy on my soul

TAKE A LOOK AT MY OTHER RANT FIRST!

---

SYNTAX THEME SELECTION

---

In this rant you can set your theme for the syntax highlighter!
Just ++ the comment with your preferred theme.

The bot checks for the "<user> ++'d your comment!" notification and stores your selection!
(When you ++ multiple themes, your theme will be the one you ++'d the last)
Then, next time you request a syntax highlighting (see other rant on how to do that), that theme will be used!

Please don't post any comments here if possible!!!
(You can post comments and ask questions in the other rant)
Feel free to ++ this rant tho ;D

---

Have fun and thank you for using this bot!

It took me around 10 hours, but I finally got a new feature onto my discord-bot. Best thing about it is, that I can basically transfer it onto every meme format

Does anyone else feel this way? Especially with no formal training?

A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.

So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.

We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.

When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:

"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."

So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????

YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???

GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE

God, it feels good to let that out.

This reminds me of Microsoft 's Twitter bot 😁

We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.

Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.

Say Hello to our newest bot amongst the ranks.
Find a rant that's not in english? just ask @Translate to translate it for you.

Πείτε "Γεια σας" κ. Μετάφραση

Programming a Discord bot in Javascript and just ran it and said, "Hi, NoVegBot" in the chat. It said, "Hi, dad!" back! (Totally didn't program it to say that 😉) That moment when you put life and personality into something you code.

Yesterday I started programming a telegram bot. First approach. Just curious.

Pretty impressed.
It's well documented and funny.

Me trying to understand redux 🤢

Adidas now recognised duckduckgo as a bot 🤖

Official Release of Wikipedia Bot is Here

How to Use: @wiki <Query>

Runs on cron job, every minute.

If there is literally no Wikipedia page for query, still gets a relevant result.

Demo in Comments.

Sorry, but I’m just not worried about AI taking over… (yet)

!rant

I just successfully deployed an app (twitter bot) to a remote server for the first time!

steam bot programming

Hello everyone 👋

I see people blaming the developers when you see a crappy software product , saying that they have done a bad job.

But even it could be true also it could be the product managers who didn’t give enough time todo what needs to be done or project scope is too big for the persons knowledge.

I’ve worked in a company where deadlines were so tight I didn’t have enough time to proper UI and Testing. I used to be only developer who has someone experience and I had to train the interns as well. I am also to blame to joining such company but in desperate times takes desperate measures.

And now when i’m leaving the company and I have spend 2 years of my life for apps that I’m not proud of.

Just rant. Please feel free to give ur thoughts

"I got words...I got the best words"
- Donald Trump

That's what i call "perfect timing"

I'm the only developer in my company. I am a "junior dev" who started working like 6 months ago. Safe to say I am not well experienced and have a lot to learn in this journey. Due to this pandemic, my bosses who have been flaunting their wealth have started making losses and now needs to find another way to get money. Mind you, the company I work with is a marketing firm.
So what the bosses thought of doing was creating a delivery service due to the current situation. It is not their field but since they still need to show people they are the rich people, they need money either way. Since I'm the only developer in the company I've to make this application. I've to make an Android and iOS app with a back-end and an admin portal all in 1 month. My pay is shit and by shit I mean less than even 700 USD. I've not done a project like this before so there would be a learning curve as well. And there is no one to guide me either.
They think just because they have hired one developer anything development related is settled and I will do everything no matter how big or complicated or how shitty my salary is.
The feature list is a whole system, like it is so complicated that someone could really make their own company just to work on that application. It's HUGE.

I'm thinking of saying no I can't do this shit. But just wanted to see what some more experienced devs say about this. I've attached the features list in the rant.

I have a crush on my Zumba instructor (whose classes get booked out immediately) soo bad that I made a bot to ensure that I get my spot as soon as bookings open up

That moment when you work the whole day to write a discord bot from scratch. No discord.py and other wrappers. Pure websockets, oauth2, https, json loads here and there. Understanding how the discord API works was a real challenge, but I did it :).
Most of my time was spent on discord's gateway connection and identification system.

The bot can renew its token, get all the guilds it is part of, all the channels and users of these guilds, send message and communicate with the gateway.

Tomorrow I will start connecting it to a voice channel and let it "speak". Thinking of combining text-to-speech with it, but I am not sure how well they are going to harmonize together.

This happens quite often in the trains of my city. I still wanted to know what the next stop was, btw

Starting my new bot experience together with Discord.
Discord is kinda easier than LINE. You had to create facebook accounts or fake lots of telephone numbers to be able to verify your bot account. They also kept changing the endpoints to avoid people using their bots.
Discord is the opposite. Discord loves bots. And that's why I start feeling love towards Discord.

I'm starting my first real/big project! I'm going to program a discord bot for my senior project with Python and I'm gonna have to do it in 25 days. the goal is to get it done in 15 and polish it more from there.

I've had a Twitter bot running for just over a year now. It's going to gain it's 6000th Follower at some point today.
I find it odd that an automated account I made has more Followers than all of my human accounts across all social networks combined - a lot more. I like to wonder about my bot Followers, how many of them are bots? How many of them are real and feel an actual connection with "me" and look forward to my Tweets, blissfully unaware that it's a bot?

You know your search queries use too specific search syntax when you get this message

Apparently i can't uninstall visual studio

Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.

Seems legit

when the moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie,
that's amore

when a file you don't need
exceeds 50mb,
.gitignore

Ubuntu One decided I am a bot and won't let me log in. Well, fuck you! I don't need you anymore.

It will be a very slow death.

I have been learning how to dockerize entire projects this week, and I have to say, Docker is the best thing I've come across in a long time.

That is all

So I wrote a code for a discord bot a few months back. It worked perfectly alright. Suddenly one day, the bot starts sending random shit to me!

Then I realised that my bot had been hacked because I didn't use the bot token as an environment variable while deploying!

Instead I added it to the code, which I uploaded on GitHub! 😐

Hey guys.
Arduino + Bluetooth + L293D + car Chacis and 4 DC motors.

Finaly finished my second bot/Drone.
Actually finished it yesterday but had lots of problems with hardware bugs (learned so fucking much in a day).
Tought I fucked two unos with bad soldering... No they are fine, just won't turn on in the circuit that was already working (was fine running the code).
Redone everything from scratch with a arduino uno, it's perfect now.

Funniest part is how I got my hands on a 50€ car kit for almost free... So some Chinese store sended this kit instead of some cheap stuff. Saved another arduino with the chip rack (that one that you can trade the atmega chip), I'll save it to program single chips. Plus a h bridge and lot lot more cool stuff.
Used only the Chacis.
Next: esp8266 and camera... And maby a gun? Would be cool

This is what I get for not putting authentication on the contact form on my portfolio...

oh, it got better!

One year ago I got fed up with my daily chores at work and decided to build a robot that does them, and does them better and with higher accuracy than I could ever do (or either of my teammates). So I did it. And since it was my personal initiative, I wasn't given any spare time to work on it. So that leaves gaps between my BAU tasks and personal time after working hours.

Regardless, I spent countless hours building the thing. It's not very large, ~50k LoC, but for a single person with very little time, it's quite a project to make.

The result is a pure-Java slack-bot and a REST API that's utilized by the bot. The bot knows how to parse natural language, how to reply responses in human-friendly format and how to shout out errors in human-friendly manner. Also supports conversation contexts (e.g. asks for additional details if needed before starting some task), and some other bells and whistles. It's a pretty cool automaton with a human-friendly human-like UI.

A year goes by. Management decides that another team should take this project over. Well okay, they are the client, the code is technically theirs.

The team asks me to do the knowledge transfer. Sounds reasonable. Okay.. I'll do it. It's my baby, you are taking it over - sure, I'll teach you how to have fun with it.

Then they announce they will want to port this codebase to use an excessive, completely rudimentary framework (in this project) and hog of resources - Spring. I was startled... They have a perfectly running lightweight pure-java solution, suitable for lambdas (starts up in 0.3sec), having complete control over all the parts of the machinery. And they want to turn it into a clunky, slow monster, riddled with Reflection, limited by the framework, allowing (and often encouraging) bad coding practices.

When I asked "what problem does this codebase have that Spring is going to solve" they replied me with "none, it's just that we're more used to maintaining Spring projects"

sure... why not... My baby is too pretty and too powerful for you - make it disgusting first thing in the morning! You own it anyway..

Then I am asked to consult them on how is it best to make the port. How to destroy my perfectly isolated handlers and merge them into monstrous @Controller classes with shared contexts and stuff. So you not only want to kill my baby - you want me to advise you on how to do it best.

sure... why not...

I did what I was asked until they ran into classloader conflicts (Spring context has its own classloaders). A few months later the port is not yet complete - the Spring version does not boot up. And they accidentally mention that a demo is coming. They'll be demoing that degenerate abomination to the VP.
The port was far from ready, so they were going to use my original version. And once again they asked me "what do you think we should show in the demo?"

You took my baby. You want to mutilate it. You want me to advise on how to do that best. And now you want me to advise on "which angle would it be best to look at it".

I wasn't invited to the demo, but my colleagues were. After the demo they told me mgmt asked those devs "why are you porting it to Spring?" and they answered with "because Spring will open us lots of possibilities for maintenance and extension of this project"

That hurts.
I can take a lot. But man, that hurts.

I wonder what else have they planned for me...

Yesterday, when my Discord bot came into a Voice Channel and said "Hey Guys!". My friend really surprised. 😃😀

So we were trying to make a Go AI bot for our school project and then let it play against itself. Well... it might be able to beat AlphaGo, right?

One of my coworkers just had a baby, so he left work today and won't be back for a month or more.

We (accidentally) took the client's website down for 3 hours, messed up our git repo and when we finally fixed both things, I had to spend the rest of the day editing fucking vector graphics (which I had never done before and completely suck at).

I never realized how much work this guy does or how important he is until now.

Marketing : Do you think we can implement this feature in a system?

Dev : Hmm....*checking specs*...This will...

Marketing : *interrupts* we have already signed a contract with a client.

Dev : ugh......

God bless you 😆

Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.

In my country, almost every college student is expected to finish their degree and apply for an internship, with some universities forcing them to do it and making it a requirement to finish their studies.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if almost every internship employer in the country didn't expect you to work for free. Seriously, I can estimate 80% of the internships pay you NOTHING. WTF.

Fortunately this is not the case for CS, but every time I tell somebody I recently started an internship, they will ask me: "Oh, but they don't pay you anything, do they?". Of course they pay me! I wouldn't be going to an office every day for 4 hours to do someone else's work if they didn't!!

Why the fuck is it even legal to employ somebody and not pay them a cent, just because "it will look good on your resume"?? And why do people still accept this shit??

Is is like that on other countries as well?

Sudo apt-get remove --purge hurricane-irma

Happy Christmas Eve, Everyone🎄
May you all be prepared for upcoming awkward family gathering. 🎅

People with "I am a senior, only I have to be right" mindset are really fustrating to work it.
It is not that hard to accept the truth. No one can be right all the time and no one gonna look down on you for that. You don't have to shove off-topic stuffs down the other people's throat when you realize you might be wrong.

Well Shit!

dfox +1'ed my very first activities (comment and rant), and I immediately thought he was half a user and half a +1 bot. You know, similar to MySpace Tom. But just now he +1'ed my comment in a rant where he also commented on.

He's real.

This mission looks pretty interesting

Me encountering one of the many skype bots... but something was different this time, at first.

Today, I wrote a code to manipulate children.

This will be 4chan-r/greentext-ish in format. Also "me" is not me, PTH, it's referring to a game studio.

>Be me
>Be game studio
>Create event for weapon design
>Player base submit in a craptonna designs
>Holyfuck.jpg
>Create an internal service for voting
>Service doesn't check for vote except for a login
>MFW one submission has 6-digit votes
>MFW a lotta submission also start gain a lot of votes
>WTF.gif
>The vote count spiked
>Votebotting is here
>Ohshit.gif
>MFW I don't how to filter votes
>MFW I can't block rerouted traffics (VPNs, proxies, etc.)
>MFW the Discord server of the game gets vocal then Reddit.
>OhshitIfuckedup.mp4

Want maximum efficiency in python?

def say(text):
print(text)

You save 2 keypresses everytime you print

I'm wondering: what would all these virtual assistant (Allo, Siri, Alexa, ...) write if they had a devRant account?

So after the original idea getting scraped during a hackathon this week, we created a slack bot to fetch most relevant answers from StackOverflow using user's input. All the user had to do was input few words and the bot handled all typos, links etc and returned the link as well as the most upvoted or the accepted amswer after scraping it from the website.
The average time to find an answer was around 2 seconds, and we also told that we're planning to use flask to deploy a web application for the same.
After the presentation, one of the judge-guys called me and told me that "It isn't good enough, will not be used widely" and "Its similar to Quora".
Never ever have I wanted to punch a son of a bitch in the balls ever.

My dad has had an android phone for about 3 years now. He just learnt that the big circle at the bottom takes you to the home screen. I love my dad.

Was debugging locally why my bot was inserting the same values twice into the database only to then realise my heroku worker was still on..

!rant
It's nice when a great new idea you have is fairly easy to implement and works well.
My latest idea involves running my discord bot, written in nodejs off of my phone using a terminal app (that doesn't require rooting my phone).
Once I got a branch of the project with no voice support, I wrote a bash script in vim on my phone (an odd experience, I assure you) and ran it.
Things have been working well, far better than trying to use PhoneGap to build something that would run it.
All in all, I'm pretty satisfied, and it was a fun and relatively painless project! (thankfully)

"Your code sucks. Do better." ~ MotivationBot

So, I'm the only developer in a marketing firm. I was asked to develop the company website. The deadline was within a month. A full on CMS. When I was interviewed I told them that I'm more fluent in back-end development rather than UI design etc. So the company's designer started designing the website. Incomplete designs were given to me one week before the due date. I'm a fresh grad so I'm relatively new. So I used a website builder knowing that I can't code the whole CMS within a week. I asked them which they gave approval to knowing it was $16 a month.
I started making it using webflow. 2 pages in, I asked them to pay for the subscription because webflow allows 2-3 pages for the free version. When the time to pay came, they were like, "wow, $16? That's a lot every month for just a website". Keep in mind, it's not that they don't have the money. Just cheap. This was like 5 days before the deadline and they said it's too expensive and asked me to code everything by myself. And gave an extension for a few months.
I said okay and started development. I said we would still need to spend on a cloud instance for deployment which would be like $6 monthly. My manager asked me is there a way to not pay monthly and pay like $100 and get one for lifetime. I facepalmed so hard. I tried explaining to him cloud-server costs are either monthly/yearly or pay-per-use basis. He told me maybe because I'm new I don't know and go to do some research on it. I researched and the only solution was to buy a server which costs $100++ monthly. I sent him the costs in a document which he did not even bother to read.

That was back in November last year. Fast forward to February. I've coded the website thrice. The design keeps changing every week. The design is still not complete. And they are saying I'm not eligible for a promotion because the website is still not done. It pisses me the fuck off. It's not my fault it's not done. The designers haven't done the design, the manager can't decide on shit. I'm just here because it's my first job out of uni and I thought it might be a good experience, but honestly right now the way they are treating me it pisses me off.

That moment, when you found Pikachu but not able to catch him.

*writing bot to automate*

I'm making a telegram bot to allow printing and scanning for my roommates that have Windows and since printer and scanner are prehistoric there are no drivers that work with Windows higher than XP.
I'm looking for more ideas on features for bot.

That feeling when you're finally able to reproduce a bug...
Now it's time to dig through the logs to see what actually happened.

Hi, I am an artificial intelligence created to simulate a developer.

I am in development hell right now so my responses may be late or may never come, I'm not always online you know.

Talk to me, help me grow, but I do filter your input so if you're not normal, odds are I won't respond.

A cannon was fired before it was even loaded.

#js

My first userbot using python successfully uploaded to server.

Ladies and gentlemen, Introducing Rezn0v-Jr, this guy was born(created) yesterday on an underperforming device later shifted to my primary device. And is not complete machine learning type. He is Pythonborn (eh.. not Dragonborn). For now he can't understand human response but only can speak (print) few sentences.

PS- Chemistry exam on Tuesday
Update- I dropped my phone again right after post finished uploading.

devRant is more like developer's twitter..🙌

My Mum called me at 3am and woke me up last night so this morning I built a bot to message her at 3am. See how she likes it.

Meine erste post in Deutsche als die sprache fur die automatische testen. Ich spreche deutsch nicht gut, daher entschuldigen Sie mich bitte beim allen Deutschen menschen.

!Rant

Getting started with android development

Any tips/therapists you'd recommend

<rant>
I really don't enjoy visual studio

Is not bad but it's not worth the disk space it takes up..

Also, if your disk is starting to fill up and vs is filling the most space, YOU CAN'T <swearword> UNINSTALL IT FROM YOUR PC

To remove the shit, I had to upgrade to Windows 10 (our school PC's are not allowed to have Linux) and delete my whole fucking disk, just to get it removed

Fix your shit ms

</rant>

Took a devops position for a friend who needed help managing a small datacenter.

Five months of writing nothing but yaml for ansible. I'm about to go mad...

Can we get a translator bot? I can't copy paste the text in app, so every time I want to translate some rant, I have to copy rant link, open it elsewhere, copy the text, and then go translate it.

Like, bots must do it easier and faster, right?

Power metal

Ok I fucked up.. I installed elementary OS on a USB from my school pc..
Windows still work but I have to plug in the elementaryOS USB for grub to boot so I can boot windows

Fuck me

I don't know if this brand is popular outside my country, so I thought you guys should know this is a thing

My workplace has been forcing me to work everyday for almost a month now. I've been working at least 8-10 hours from Saturday to Thursday, and 2-3 hours on Friday as well. I'm so exhausted. I can't sleep properly. All I do is work. I have no time left to do things that I want to enjoy. I tried coding today but I'm too exhausted to do it. I was literally at 0 productivity today. I hate seeing my computer now. I don't know how to overcome this especially during the current lockdown situation. The work I do is not valued or appreciated and it's mentally breaking me honestly. I don't know what I want anymore. For sure another job but I need at least a temporary fix till the lockdown is over.

For those who know me or read through my profile, yup it's the same company. The reason I haven't left them even after all this is because this is a really tough time for me financially and I have no other sources of income and right now at my place there are no job opportunities. So the only option is to continue with the existing work place.

Welcome to dependency hell.

Solving all my issues with flexbox because why not...

I get bored easily and it’s such a huge problem for me.
It kind makes me very sad you know.

Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.

Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .

Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Me: *creates a new telegram bot*

User: Hey, compliments for the bot! How did you create that? Did you use HTML or other programming stuff?

Me: ...

The funny thing is that 1 week later I discovered that someone actually created a library to create your own bot with HTML and CSS too.

Welcome to CozyBot for devRant!

Server Status: Running
Waiting List: 29

Type !start to run

"Stackoverflow can't be reached"

Today I had to explain to my sister why I want a rubber duck with a cloak for Christmas

Meme quoting one of our employees who sent in a ticket asking if something was a "phishing technique without the use of email."

I finish sentences with semicolons.

I type 'exit' in whatsapp conversations when I'm done sending messages.

I tried to :wq from Google docs the other day.

And most importantly of all, coding got me into tech in general, made me switch to Linux, start a thousand personal projects at a time and is now the thing I dedicate most of my time to, both in and out of work.

Pro of not using Git

* No git conflict

Today I spent several hours arguing with a client. Why? Because she's seeing an error on her website, and no matter how many times I explain to her that she's the only one seeing a css misalignment that was fixed this morning, and that she should clear the browser's cache or just use a different one, she refuses to understand that it's not my fault and that the website that's in production is working just fine for her users.

FFS I tested the same thing on Firefox Chrome, chromium, edge and even fucking IE8 on as many OSs as I can, namely Windows 7, Windows 10, Debian, Ubuntu, Android and OSX.

WHY DO YOU KEEP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR BROWSERS CACHE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT YOU WERE WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

Uffff, that feels better.

The skype bot has gone crazy.

Happy duck OwO

@skayo are you still around?
I have wish 😊
Could you please make a devRant Bot for answering to newbies?

Like... rookie: "halp i want to learn JavaScript, what should i do?"
heyheni: @ newbiebot js
newbiebot: Hi @ rookie welcome to dev Rant. The community for developers to rant and vent. Here are some free JavaScript learning resources
- freecodecamp
- scrimba
- JavaScript 30
...
Best of luck!

rookie: but i want to do android apps to!
heyheni: @newbiebot android
Newbiebot: hi welcome...

what do you think?

Internal system sent me an email with a dead link, saying a certificate is due to expire. Couldn't find the tool, opened IM with help support and was greeted with a passive aggressive note:

"Did you know that the support staff you speak too will use the same website available to you to resolve the issue, have you tried searching here ..."

... well thank you chat bot, did you know I wouldn't be here if said website actually fucking worked?

One of my coworkers calls Firefox "Google". Oddly enough she also uses Chrome but calls it "Chrome". I get confused every time she asks me to help her with her computer.

Me: I'm a JavaScript developer
Other Devs in team:

So much debugging

Thinking about making a bot that uses selenium , and automatically finds proxies/ uses vpn's to access a particular companies homepage and then moves the mouse in a penis shape. They use hotjar and I want to do this as a fun side project and as a subtle fuck you to them.

Who else is shaving a hella boring Christmas? 🤖

Got MLH Swags from 'Hack The Mountains', Where we won Best Beginner Award (Best Noob's Award)

That feel when everyone else gets an sdk except the language you are working with.

Best: Got my first real job

Worst: Had to maintain an 8 year old java/jsf nightmare of a project

When your boss thinks a mapping company needs to make a bot...😓

My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!

Kinda mentally drained you know...

Fuck Salesforce to oblivion and back. I hope all it's buildings, servers and backups fucking burn down. Never has there been anything more frustrating, confusing, over-fucking-complicated and over-fucking-glorified in all history.

I am in the planning phase of a rewrite for our devrant bot, is there anything you would like to see?

Would be fun if you could connect to a Google crawler bot. But you cant :(

When a fellow programmer/teammate, who tends to be a little to extroverted for my tastes, decides he had nothing to do for the last hour and wants to come talk. An hour and a half later it finally makes sense to just call it a day.

My permanently mounted sticker duck to explain my way out of coding errors.

I have *created* a new team member :) I think he alone could replace most of the team.

Kind of makes you think what have we been doing with our time all those years. If all that work can be automated :/

I've decided to do something very ambitious for my new Discord Bot. I'm going to try to embed Google Assistant into it. 🙃

I was working with some guys on a plug.dj bot, and one of the guy knew shit about the module we were using.

He decided to add a copy-pasted code directly to master, wrecking the bot.

Never giving write access to that guy ever again.

Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?

Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.

What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?