It's not addiction, it's a necessity

How can I help you?
"my email isn't working"
What web browser do you use?
"Yahoo"
Err, okay, what's your email address and password?
"I don't have a password."

Wtf dude?

Total garbage

when I pull latest and all of my code is refactored

kinda creative:

A customer got an error in one of our applications. He made a screenshot, printed the screenshot, scanned the printed screenshot and attached the scanned jpeg to the e-mail :-D

Friend: Hi! Can you create a car rental website for me?
Me: hmmm... yeah, we need to define some..
Friend: I will pay you in beer! 😉
Me: We need to define how you want to die.

Why some people try to ignore the fact that programming is a fucking job?

When a windows user joins linux community

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. 
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."   
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.  
 Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"   
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Me: *puts small piece of tape over webcam*

NSA: Okay guys, shut it all down. No way we can record from the microphone, log keys, access the file system, USB devices, network data or watch the screen. He did the tape.

4+ years of programming.

Still have no clue how to make my own regex pattern.

Every single time I need to, I always open 4 cheat sheets and/or stackoverflow.

"Professor, my if loop isn't working!"
IF LOOP!?!?!?!! 😫🔫

So I had this assignment for a subject at University about semaphores in C. The theme was "Friend's dinner out" and it had 3 entities and yadda yadda...

The innocent me made this montage of a chef (one of the entities) with a semaphore in his hand and put it in the first page of the report for that assignment.

Until this point, all ok, or so I thought...

The moment I show my report to my friends they burst out laughing and say I literally just created a meme and sent it to a "not so cool" teacher.
They find it hilarious.

Right now I'm nervously waiting for the assignment grades to be published.

Did I screw up my report and thus my assignment?

Did you say security?

this is deep

Always read documentation 😃

during my interview for a systems integration developer position

"now sell me this pen"

Today on how to make money fast:

Bitcoin Gold digging

Just came to know I too have powers.

Documentation is indeed crazy

Source: Instagram

This is by far the best please turn off your Adblock I have ever seen. I actually paused my ad blocker 😂

🎁🎁🎁

Best DHCP server ever.

—_(*_*)_—

We don’t use the same technology we used 10 years ago but we have the same people holding office for 30+ years.