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Search - "cute"
Deliberately adding a bug to production so I could get a visit from the cute girl in the front desk.
Met a cute girl at the ATM today.
Long story short, she gave me her Instagram account and I ended up giving her my GitHub account.12
This is by far the best please turn off your Adblock I have ever seen. I actually paused my ad blocker 😂34
Me: *desperately trying to finish a webpage before 5pm deadline*
Girlfriend: Why are you always so focused on your computer? You never pay attention to me.
Me: You know I have to work. Besides, you'll always be number 1 in my heart
Girlfriend: Aww that was cute. Okay I'll let you finish working
Me to me: ...arrays start at 0. *continues typing*
Disclaimer: this was stolen from /r/programmerhumor and I have no girlfriend20
On a break I went into a Best Buy to browse laptops. I had no intention on buying from them because they suck, but I just wanted to touch a few and look at specs. A salesman then thought it was a smart idea to approach me. Immediately, he was talking down to me about specs and asking if I needed it for email, Facebook, Instagram, and the like. I'll be honest, I am super girlie in my appearance and mannerisms. So I get it, I suppose. The big pseudo-nerd is going to help the little girl find a cute, social media laptop. He actually walked me over to a pink HP Stream lol. Sure, I like pink, but I don't want a useless paperweight of a machine. When I mentioned I need a new rig for coding, he actually chuckled and said "really?". So I replied "yes really, you presumptuous cockbag" and walked out. Needless to say, I won't be buying there.154
I'm planning to add this in my next project..
I once met a very cute client. Inner me was saying to go and get this girl. But company's code of conduct is completely against it that an employee shouldn't ask his/her clients out with you or date with him/her. Even my colleagues knew me as a man of criteria. So I leave
the Code of Conduct and now she is my gf. :)12
Me, flirting with a cute girl from the finance dept. in the kitchen:
"Well, back to the grind. I've got this really nasty bug to figure out."
Her: "It's a bracket."
2 hours of debugging later… it was a missing bracket in a json string. 😓11
This dev world is still so damn fucking sexist, it's driving me nuts.
"it's so cool seing a GIRL doing this stuff"
"wow you're so tech savy for a GIRL"
"you're too CUTE to be a developer"
"how does it feel to be a GIRL in dev"
Just treat us like fucking human beings for once instead of pretty, empty objects.91
So there is this girl who was trying to be cute and wrote a mock C code for me :
She wrote :
And without hesitating I told her that her code had a fault in it and it would always print "kill self" no matter what the level of disappointment is. And asked her to fix it.
The way she fixed it was probably best described as the situation when you have no idea what you are doing and you don't try to understand either. (or was simply passive aggressive) :
Honestly though I hope she was being passive aggressive because boy do I pity people who confuse between '=' and '=='12
> Customer calls
Her: I have over 5k 404 request to [insertwebsite]/autodiscover/autodiscover.xml
Me: Sound like a missconfigured exchangeserver/client. Let me have a look.
> Takes a look and can confirm the IP and the owner of that IP
Me: It looks like someone/something from xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is failing to resolve autodiscover.[insertdomain].com
and defaults to @ record on the zone. Do you happend to know to whom that IP belongs?
Her: No, and I dont care, just block it. I do not like the 404 that shows up on the summary.
> Blocks the IP in the firewall.
>>> Fast forward to next day >>>
> Someone calls, it is the same girl
Her: I cant reach my website! Infact, I cant reach anything! WHYYYYYY!!!
> I remember, blocking that IP yesterday...
Me: Oh, can you please visist "minip.se" (whatismyip.com, swedish version) and tell me what you see?
Her: Yes, it is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
Me: Do you remember that IP that you request that I block yesterday?
> I can hear the shame coming from the phone.
> Turn out that her collegues did'nt have any mail delivered to them from the time I blocked their IP
> Her boss is really mad
> Atleast she had a cute voice12
Today I met a girl who’s super cute, down to earth, smart, uses no social media, and games. I would normally wake up soon after such dreams, but this actually happened today. I asked her out before it was too late 😊20
New neighbor came in yesterday, she cute, and apparently she also goes to the same college as me, though... when she came in last night to thank me she thought I was doing something illegal
Neighbor: "What are those?"
Me: "Lemme ex-"
Neighbor: "Are you doing [hacky hacky uwu]?"
Me: "First before you get the wrong-"
Neighbor: "I'm call-"
Me: "This is a fucking weather sattelite reciever ffs"
Fast forward to today, landlady came in and immediately recognized my weather sattelite rig (I did it for a science fair before I graduated SHS), told neighbor she shouldn't worry because I have stuff like this everyday
God, if it wasn't for our landlady, I would have the police in my ass for neighbors getting the wrong idea...
Seriously nani the fuck19
Free advice take it or leave it
A few days ago I completed my one year work anniversary(is that how it's said) at my first job. And this rant is basically stuff I learnt and stuff I wish someone had told me when I was starting out. Here goes:-
When you are starting out your first job you would be a fresh out of college and people around you in college are your friends where as people around you at work are colleagues. Your friends can like you, but you have to earn the respect of colleagues.
If you sit yo ass too long u will become fat(started going to the gym again).
Don't bother your seniors too much. they have their own shit to deal with.
Don't bring your personal shit to office I don't want to hear how cute your dog looked while it took a dump on your carpet.
Avoid the person who gossips.
It's a two way street.
Whatever you find amazing your boss may not you know coz you are a geek and your boss isn't.
Don't talk to people when they are coding.Yeah just don't.
Avoid "below the belt" humor you may look funny but you loose respect in the long run.
Keep upgrading yourself don't stop learning.
Admit stuff you don't know don't Bullshit.
To sum it up it's a game of respect, respect of knowledge,respect of skill and most of all respect of attitude.8
So I have a crush on a co-worker, she is also a dev. She is very cute despite her simplicity. I really wanted to talk to her, but I can't start a normal conversation with her. My mind just goes haywire.
BUT, just in case she is also on devRant:
If you happen to be reading this, I am the guy seated opposite the other table, we are facing each other. I liked you ever since the company outing. You are very cool and I want to spend more time with you.
I was on a 1:1 with my boss talking about my performance, recent tickets, HR stuff, anything I need, plans for the next quarter, etc.
My 4yo ran up, pointed to my boss on the screen, and asked "who is mommy on a call with?" I told him it was my boss, T, and that he needed to be quiet. "I want talk to T!" He demanded. "Hi T!" He wouldn't take no for an answer. We were pressed for time, so. As cute as it was, it wasn't very welcome.
It took like five minutes to finally make him leave. Now whenever I'm on a call, he runs up and yells "Hi T!!!!" at the screen. 😅 even when its standup or the engineering meeting with like 50 people.... thankfully there is a mute button! His face still pops up on camera, but most people understand and just laugh.
He's cute but he can be soo embarrassing!7
Probably the biggest one in my life.
TL:DR at the bottom
A client wanted to create an online retirement calculator, sounds easy enough , i said sure.
Few days later i get an email with an excel file saying the online version has to work exactly like this and they're on a tight deadline
Having a little experience with excel, i thought eh, what could possibly go wrong, if anything i can take off the calculations from the excel file
I WAS WRONG !!!
17 Sheets, Linking each other, Passing data to each sheet to make the calculation
( Sure they had lot of stuff to calculate, like age, gender, financial group etc etc )
First thing i said to my self was, WHAT THE FREAKING FUCK IS THIS ?, WHAT YEAR IS THIS ?
After messing with it for couple of hours just to get one calculation out of it, i gave up
Thought about making a mysql database with the cell data and making the calculations, but NOOOO.
Whoever made it decided to put each cell a excel calculation ( so even if i manage to get it into a database and recode all the calculations it would be wayyy pass the deadline )
Then i had an epiphany
"What if i could just parse the excel file and get the data ?"
Did a bit of research sure enough there's a php project
( But i think it was outdated and takes about 15-25 seconds to parse, and makes a copy of the original file )
But this seemed like the best option at the time.
So downloaded the library, finished the whole thing, wrote a cron job to delete temporary files, and added a loading spinner for that delay, so people know something is happening
( and had few days to spare )
Sent the demo link to client, they were very happy with it, cause it worked same as their cute little excel file and gave the same result,
It's been live on their website for almost a year now, lot of submissions, no complains
I was feeling bit guilty just after finishing it, cause i could've done better, but not anymore
Sorry for making it so long, to understand the whole thing, you need to know the full story
TL:DR - Replicated the functionality of a 17 sheet excel calculator in php hack-ishly.8
Navy story time, and this one is lengthy.
As a Lieutenant Jr. I served for a year on a large (>100m) ship, with the duties of assistant navigation officer, and of course, unofficial computer guy. When I first entered the ship (carrying my trusty laptop), I had to wait for 2 hours at the officer's wardroom... where I noticed an ethernet plug. After 15 minutes of waiting, I got bored. Like, really bored. What on TCP/IP could possibly go wrong?
So, scanning the network it is. Besides the usual security holes I came to expect in ""military secure networks"" (Windows XP SP2 unpatched and Windows 2003 Servers, also unpatched) I came along a variety of interesting computers with interesting things... that I cannot name. The aggressive scan also crashed the SMB service on the server causing no end of cute reactions, until I restarted it remotely.
But me and my big mouth... I actually talked about it with the ship's CO and the electronics officer, and promptly got the unofficial duty of computer guy, aka helldesk, technical support and I-try-to-explain-you-that-it-is-impossible-given-my-resources guy. I seriously think that this was their punishment for me messing around. At one time I received a call, that a certain PC was disconnected. I repeatedly told them to look if the ethernet cable was on. "Yes, of course it's on, I am not an idiot." (yea, right)
So I went to that room, 4 decks down and 3 sections aft. Just to push in the half-popped out ethernet jack. I would swear it was on purpose, but reality showed me I was wrong, oh so dead wrong.
For the full year of my commission, I kept pestering the CO to assign me with an assistant to teach them, and to give approval for some serious upgrades, patching and documenting. No good.
I set up some little things to get them interested, like some NMEA relays and installed navigation software on certain computers, re-enabled the server's webmail and patched the server itself, tried to clean the malware (aka. Sisyphus' rock), and tried to enforce a security policy. I also tried to convince the CO to install a document management system, to his utter horror and refusal (he was the hard copy type, as were most officers in the ship). I gave up on almost all besides the assistant thing, because I knew that once I left, everything would go to the high-entropy status of carrying papers around, but the CO kept telling me that would be unnecessary.
"You'll always be our man, you'll fix it (sic)".
What could go wrong?
I got my transfer with 1 week's notice. Panic struck. The CO was... well, he was less shocked than I expected, but still shocked (I learned later that he knew beforehand, but decided not to tell anybody anything). So came the most rediculous request of all:
To put down, within 1 A4 sheet, and in simple instructions, the things one had to do in order to fulfil the duties of the computer guy.
I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.
"What I can do is write: 'Please read the following:', followed by the list of books one must read in order to get some introductory understanding of network and server management, with most accompanying skills."
I was so glad I got out of that hellhole.6
This tini tiny forky bomby is so cute than you probably want to execute it... at least in a VM / Container.15
Got matched with a cute girl on Tinder. She was a recruiter. She didn't want to talk about anything other than this "great" opportunity...16
And for my birthday my girlfriend told me "your age++"
I don't know who told her that (she knows nothing about programming languages) but that was cute.3
New job (first CS job).
Day 1: Install Ubuntu
Day 2: Dev said "it was so cute when he asked if he could uninstall windows." Also, first pair programming with engineer of 12 years. First commit (he did all the work, I just tried keeping up."
Day 3: "Here, try this bug " nearly get there. Have to leave early. Team event (Group VR experience, was wicked fun with drinks afterwards. Turns out boss man is a total bad ass. Swam with sharks and giant Wales)
Day 4: Fix bug. Notice odd behaviour. Fix that too. (All on my own). Code review: "This, that but works and is good." Get asked if I want to go to customer to do A, B and C. Tell Boss I only know B. He said "Tell me what you need for A and C."
I'm so God damn happy.8
Short story time.
The last girl I dated was a proper geek. Like the kind of geek another geek wants. So one fine day she told me that she was making a greeting card for me. I was happy. After a few weeks she gave me the card and it was really cute. I loved it.
I reached home and received an email from her with a link in it. It was the link to a website she had made where each message from the card was deciphered to the real message.
That wasn't all. She didn't want the entire thing to be too easy. So the deciphered messages were password protected and I had to guess it.21
I'm a victim of rather severe child abuse, both physical and mental. I've cut my mother out of my life on several occasions, and disowned her husband on father's day a few years ago. Whenever they're in my life they make things slowly but significantly worse.
They'd been using my previous hard times to push their way into my life again, and are now trying to buy their way in -- this time not into my life, but into my 2yo son's life.
I've done everything I could to keep his existence from them. I hid pregnancy from them, dropped any mew mannerisms and cute vocabulary when speaking to them, never let them see toys or hear sounds if I needed to call them, hid the carseat, etc. I did a perfect job. Out of necessity I've been hiding my life from them since I was 13, and I've never done better than this.
But they knew his name, sex, and age. This means they went digging, and a bloody lot. There is literally no public info relating him to me, and nobody that knows us would tell them, either -- they all know and understand.
For years I've refused to tell these people where I lived, too. We've been here for over five years, and three years ago they just randomly showed up at our door. I never gave them an address, and the house isn't in my name. I never had any privacy when I lived with them, either -- literally not even in the bathroom -- but now we have our own house and they still randomly intrude? asldhflakshdf
But. This Christmas Eve, we got two large boxes (fruit flats) stacked full of presents from them. A third for me, a third for my girlfriend, and a third for my 2yo. Name tags and all.
Why can't they just leave us alone? On Christmas of all holidays? Why do they have to ruin everything? Why can't they just go away?
I've made things abundantly clear, and they just. won't. stop. I feel so angry and exasperated and helpless and trapped. I went from listening to "die in a fire" to crying helplessly on the stairs. All I want is to be left alone and not harassed and blackmailed and manipulated and guilted and given expired food as "gifts."
and before you ever even think to defend them, please re-read my first three sentences.
Merry fucking Christmas.44
So guess what my little sister got me for my birthday! She actually made an effort to make this cute gift. Maybe in the future I will buy the original one and then I'll have two :319
Someone: how do I convert cute girls to .gf format ?
Me : Sorry, this feature is not available in the beta version7
Not sure it counts as data loss, more temporary corruption (and in my own brain).
> be me.
> be clinically depressed
> be recently out of an awful breakup
> recently nearly committed suicide by train
> be bored and lonely one night
> take lsd
> feel fine
> go to McDonald’s
> feel fine
> while eating question the nature of reality
> become convinced I’m an observer of a cosmic story and cannot die
> go outside in only jeans
> run in traffic at 1AM to prove my point
> don’t die
> run around the streets more sure of my new reality than I’d ever been of anything
> feel free and no longer sad
> walk around observing the world
> sit on wall and wonder why the story had the structure I was observing
> fall off wall into grass and mud
> follow cute guy into apartment building
> follow into lift
> ask what everything means
> spend better part of couple hours in lift pressing emergency button asking for help
> get no response
> scare poor Russian lady that gets into lift and finds an overweight topless man on the floor babbling incoherently
> ride to top floor
> get out
> sit on leather chair in corridor
> decide I’m actualising my desires and reality
> don’t realise this is just the trip wearing off and consciousness exerting more control
> walk into random apartment (door is unlocked because why wouldn’t it be for the god that I believe I am at this point)
> gorgeous apartment
> realise it’s a family apartment from clothes in hallway and items
> find bathroom
> decide I want a bubble bath
> run bubble bath
> can’t work out how to drain water. Bath now full of twigs and mud #sorry
> decide that I’d like to go home, or onto my next adventure. Hopefully the seaside as I’m now realising I have more control.
> open bathroom door
> not the seaside. Ah well. Try to walk home
> walk home wrapped in fluffy towel from nice family’s apartment
> get home
> realise what had happened
> throw remaining drugs away
> sit and rock in utter paranoia and guilt for hours until flatmate wakes up.
MFW first bad trip ever.
MFW I wonder whether that family knew I was there and were scared / discovered the mess in the bathroom the next morning and not knowing which is worse.
MFW I still have the towel because it’s fluffy AF.
The moral of the story kids, is that when it comes to the OS rattling around in your brain, installing a virus that is sensitive to what apps you have running is a bad idea when those apps make the virus go to fucking town.
Terrible analogy I know, but fuck it.29
I bought 4 of them to introduce Dev rant to my three collegues (one is for myself of course). Hopefully we can welcome them soon here.11
Cute girl: what do you do for work?
Me: I'm a programmer
Cute girl: Meaning?
Me: that I spend all my day seated in front of a computer doing computer programs
She: (waits 20s) hmm, so i forgot my Facebook pass...
Me: go to hell (leaves)12
So, continuing the story, in reverse order, on the warship and its domain setup...
One day, the CO told me that we needed to set up a proper "network". Until now, the "network" was just an old Telcom switch, and an online HDD. No DHCP, no nothing. The computers dropped to the default 169.254.0.0/16 link local block of addresses, the HDD was open to all, cute stuff. I do some research and present to him a few options. To start things off, and to show them that a proper setup is better and more functional, I set up a linux server on one old PC.
The CO is reluctant to approve of the money needed (as I have written before, budget constraints in the military is the stuff of nightmares, people there expect proper setups with two toothpicks and a rubber band). So, I employ the very principles I learned from the holy book Bastard Operator From Hell: terrorizing with intimidating-looking things. I show him the linux server, green letters over black font, ngrep -x running (it spooks many people to be shown that). After some techno-babble I got approval for a proper rack server and new PCs. Then came the hard part: convincing him to ditch the old Telcom switch in favour of a new CISCO Catalyst one.
Three hours of non-stop barrage. Long papers of NATO specifications on security standards. Subliminal threats on security compromises. God, I never knew I would have to stoop so low. How little did I know that after that...
Came the horrors of user support.
Moral of the story: an old greek saying says "even a saint needs terrorizing". Keep that in mind.4
This was during my 3rd semester when I was outside my dorm room finishing my Java assignment. Suddenly this kitty jumped from nowhere and sat near my laptop seeing those buggy Java codes. Then I started to pet him as he sat on my keypad. After this incident, he came outside my dorm room every other night waiting for me to pet him. He was one good friend that I got during that semester. I really miss him now.8
Laravel is the worst framework ever.
Everything has to be made convenient and easy. That sounds amazing, because developers want to save time, worry less about boilerplate code, right? No more constructors, no more dependency injection, fuck all the tedious OOP shit... RIGHT?
It does one thing well: Make PHP syntax uniform and concise through easily integrated libraries such as Collection and Carbon. But those are actually not really part of the framework... just commonly integrated and associated with Laravel.
The framework itself is completely derailed: You can define code in a callback in the routes file. You can define a controller in the routes file. You can define middleware as a parameter to the route, as a fluent method to the route, you can stack them up in a service provider. Validators can be made in controllers, Request objects, service providers, etc. You can send mail inline, through Mailable objects, through Notification objects, etc.
Everything is macroable, injectable, and definable in a million different places. Ultimate freedom!
Guess what happens when you give 50 developers of various seniority a swiss army knife?
One hammers in a screw with a nail file, the other clips the head from the screw using scissors, and you end up with an unworkable mess and blunt tools.
And don't get me started about Eloquent, the Active Record ORM. It's cute for the simple blog/article/author/comment queries, but starts choking when you want more selective and performant queries or more complex aggregates, and provides such an opaque apple-esque interface which lets people think everything is OK, when in reality it's forcing the SQL server to slowly commit suicide.42
My lead developer left on vacation for a week. Without notice to my boss and/or myself.
Well to be fair we did have the minimum which is a 2 day notice....
So what did we do? Well the boss and I acted like absolute adults and did what any other adult would do.
Me sticky noted the fuck out of his desk and screens.
4 screens full of sticky notes.
Phone is full of sticky notes too. And geez man....everything is sticky notes....so...many....sitcky...notes9
Created an alias in BASH
Just so I can run "fucking apt-get update". Got so used to it I accidentally used it during a presentation. Now the cute interns think I'm awesome while the other devs think I'm an ass.9
After work I wanted to come home and work on a project. I have a few ideas for a few things I want to do, so I started a Trello board with the ideas to start mapping things out. But there were guys redoing the kitchen tile and it was noisy as fuck. So I packed up and headed to the library.
So I get all set up, and start plugging away. Currently working on a database design for a project that is a form for some user data collection for my dad, for an internal company thing. I am not contracted for this - I just know the details so I am using it as a learning exercise. Anyway...
I'm fucking about in a VM in MySQL and I feel someone behind me. So I turn and it's this girl looking over my shoulder. She asks what I am doing, and it turned into a 2 hour conversation. She is only a few years older than me (21) but she was brilliant. She (unintentionally) made me feel SO stupid with her scope of knowledge and giant brain. I learned quite a bit from talking to her and she offered to help me further, if I liked.
And she was really cute. We exchanged phone numbers...16
Discovered this app and the cute avatars. Found out you need at least 10 points to create one, so here I go! Just finished my third year in computer science, now exploiting the positive discrimination for girls to get summer programming jobs ;).17
Was browsing job sites and noticed an 'experienced sysadmin' job (Linux).
Everything seemed pretty interesting and then I saw this line (at what they offer):
Free own domain with hosting!
That's genuinely cute offering that to an experienced Linux sysadmin. Not saying every sysadmin has this but I for example have like 10 domain names and a bunch of servers.
Yeah that looked cute 😆27
Irma is coming. And just a few weeks after we move to South Beach full time. Figures.
Anyway, if the storms sweeps us away, remember that I love you all.
Well... most of you.
Ok, like a handful of you.58
Me: I'm gonna be productive today. Will complete this task in one hour!
*starts coding enthusiastically*
After two minutes...
*cute kittens n puppies*
Heh, silly cat
*more cats, dogs*
*accidentally notices the time*
Crap! 1.5 hours gone waste....7
Multithreading has a new perspective now.
Also, fast is cute.
Part 2 of the awesome change log. 😂6
When she asks you to help her via TeamViewer but refuses to share her TeamViewer password cause you'll then be able to "hack" her.4
My duck came in, along with his two capes, the stickers I forgot to ask for, and the note I requested.
In the special instructions box, I asked that they include a note that said something random, and they delivered.
"devRant ducks do dances directly downstairs daily"
Well done @dfox @trogus or whoever does the shipments, I'm thoroughly entertained :D8
My mom just showed me this on her facebook news feed and said, " Look <insert nickname>, it's the same "e" browser you've asked me not to use !!"9
I fucking hate this cute little hack my company thinks it's found where if they schedule a meeting at lunchtime in the lunchroom they think it counts as a lunch break11
By far the best co-worker. She's doesn't bitch and complain or make excuses.
And let's be honest, she's cute as fuck.3
I wanted to screenshot some of the birthday wishes that were printed for me on the discord server early this morning but they're spread too much, thanks anyway! That was very cute of you all. Only people from devRant actually bothered to wish me a Happy Birthday this early (maybe I influenced it a little bit ... 😂) But it's true
Everyone remember that ThatDude's Birthday is on January 28th 😉16
Tfw everyone uses a cute duck or little animal as a debugging buddy, and then there's me...
I like this one tho. :)34
"You use a Mac. How cute. You must not know anything about computers, Apple fanboy. Windows is far superior."
"Unix, bitch. Fuck you."
Boss sends e-mail telling everyone we have funding for 1+ year.
Two weeks later 50% of employees laid off.
> be me
> create profile in dating app because pandemic rules make meeting people at irl events impossible
> match with cute girl
> start to talk about interesting stuff
> mention being a software developer
> her: 'pls help me I have a not activated windows 10 on my laptop and can't do stuff since the last update'
I'm hereby quitting as a dev and decide to become a maid in a maid cafe cos I just witnessed someone break my code with their hacky fix
seriously, fuck him. Now excuse me, I gotta don a maid uniform and chant cute noises3
My first real "rant", okay...
So I decided today to hop back on the horse and open Android Studio for the first time in a couple months.
I decided I was going to make a random color generator. One of my favorite projects. Very excited.
Got all the layouts set up, and got a new color every tap with RGB and hex codes, too. Took more time to open Android Studio, really.
Excited with my speedy progress, I think "This'll be done in no time!". Text a friend and tell them what I'm up to. Shes very nice, wants the app. "As soon as I'm done". I expected that to be within the hour.
I want to be able to save the colors for future reference. Got the longClickListener set up just fine. Cute little toast pops up every time. Now I just need to save the color to a file.
Easy, just a semicolon-deliminated text file in my app's cache folder.
Three hours later, and my file still won't write any data. Friend has gone to sleep. Homework has gone undone. My hatred for Android is reborn.
Stay tuned, the adventure continues tomorrow...11
#¤%@ kid!!! My 5yo son has obviously been playing with his mom's mobile phone. At first, I thought it was a little cute, when I received incoherent texts about Roblox, one of his favourite games.
But then, I suddenly heard from my sister who was really upset and worried. She was wondering if my gf really wants to see her dead, after receiving a facebook pm in English, saying "oh die :-)".
No need for auntie to take it personally though; turned out she was not the only one getting the same message :-O
A little boy is facing a mobile ban for a very long time...11
My teachers rant: "Who invented whiteboard markers? *trying to write some code on the board, but the marker went dry* What every happened to black boards and chalk. Chalk never gets dry.... I going to have to look that up" LOL, man I love him. He is so old that its funny and cute at the same time15
People: I will never put one of those smart speakers in my home! You're basically just putting in a microphone that will spy on you!
Also People: Hang on I have to grab my phone/high-fidelity microphone/high resolution camera/GPS tracker/Data Aggregator and make sure I have it with me literally everywhere I go, because who knows when I will want to comment on a cute picture of a cat!?16
I want to print this pic out in enormous size and qty, hang them in many classrooms to show my female friends that it's normal to wear cute skirt and cute shoes while wringing cables on your shoulders.
All octocats !
These are extra cute.
Love how they turned Lady Ada Lovelace into an adorable af octocat.2
Once I watched a 30min YouTube video on functional programming just because the presenter was cute. 😘
Anyone ever did this ???
And btw the video is Functional programming by Anjana vakil.13
So I had to work in a team for a CSS & HTML uni project with two others and the criteria was the web site had to be something funny and related to the university. So I talked with my so-called teammates about the project idea and what the web site would be about when one of them said "Let's make it about cats!". Okay I guess, not really sure what we could write about, but we'll manage. Then these fuckers just up and disappeared, leaving me to design and make content for the whole fucking thing. I lost sleep searching for fucking pictures of cute kitties because these stupid idiots couldn't find a minute of their oh-so important life to make a single commit! And guess what? One of them finally figured out that he won't get graded if he donesn't contribute and had the audacity to make the single most horrifyingly disgusting excuse of an HTML & CSS page I have ever seen. Divs with no closed tags, selectors like 'el1 > el2 > el3'. Classes? Who even uses them, right? I shit you not, seeing that, I was actually on the verge deleting his whole work and telling him a big 'fuck you'. Instead, I just suggested make a few edits and rebuilt his whole page from the ground up.
So that was my team. My gang. A fucking retard that made more work for me and an asshole that didn't even clone the repository. Even then, my project got the most points. But no, it got third place because first and second place worked alone!
Fucking cocksuckers! Working with a team of incompetent fuckwits is ten times harder!
Had a great day yesterday. Productive, happy, felt great, and was focused despite a lot of cute distractions. Finished a third of my feature.
Today, I wanted to start work early because I had planned out what I wanted to work on next and how to approach it. I felt motivated. I’d jump out of bed, get ready, and start early. No breakfast but maybe some coffee.
Woke up to two hours of constant distractions, irritations, and time wasting instead. Anger. Everything sought to prevent me from starting.
When I finally got to work, the first thing I saw: political warmongering bullshit.
Guess I’m not getting much done today.16
My cat's always with me while coding.
It's nice, he's cute.
Then he decides to wake up, and to walk on my keyboard to go away.
Code looks like hcozpxucksl,,lOs', thanks man.
Not a big deal but I wanted to share my desperation with you, thanks for the listen12
Cute Girl: So you're like a computer guy, right?
Me in 2012: Yeah, I do some programming and...
Cute Girl: Ok *walks away*
Me in 2012: ........wait, come back! Don't go! I'll fix your printer for you! Or hack your friend's fb. Or make this cool app that you maybe have an idea for..? Don't leeeeeav...ah nvm, she's gone.5
Last month I discovered my girlfriend created a GitHub account some time ago just because she saw the icon was like a cat in the Discord Connections settings and was curious about what it was.
That's the most adorable dev-related thing that has ever happened to me.10
Some of the dinosaurs maintaining legacy systems are rather well meaning, but somewhat frustratingly don't seem to have updated their knowledge of what counts as "a lot of storage space" beyond the early 90's. Just asked one of them if they could dump all the legacy logs to AWS each day so we could keep them for 6 months or so (they're rolled over weekly otherwise.)
"Well I mean we can, but are you sure? *All* the logs? You could end up storing close to 100MB of logs a month! Won't that be prohibitively expensive?!"
It's rather cute really.11
Dear Product owners / Company Owners / Whoever requesting a feature:
Devs like to know they are adding value to whatever product they are working on. Every time you request a stupid no value added request, you kick the dev's soul.
After several hits the developer will stop caring about the software and eventually will get the job done, but oh boy, the amount of tech debt/trash code the dev is gonna leave behind will be horrendous.
Then the next developer, not only takes the hit from another stupid request, he/she will see the crappy code the past sad developer left and will take a double hit. Of course all of them start proactive and try to fix previous blood trails but sadness will catch them eventually.
If you want you're apps/products/reports to be good in a long run don't make stupid requests.
BAs, Stop being Expensive Email Forwarders and challenge a request, understand the process and then hand it to the developer.
Us developers are sensible cute ponies. Treat us well or expect poor quality projects8
The developer's date
Me working as a developer, after a date with a cute girl
Bestie: Bro, how was the date?
Me: We cant be in a relationship.
Bestie: Why man? She is cute, she likes you and she has got a decent job.
Me: Yeah the third one is the problem. She is a SOFTWARE TESTER!!!😫9
Winter is on its way, so Devvy has wrapped up warm. (His face was redrawn since he got rather faded)6
How to post a question on a forum:
1. Create an account with a cute girl name like AnnaLovesYou143
2. Post your question. Ex. "How do I use Google? Thanks xOxO <3"
3. Wait for guys to give you a complete answer for your question or an offer to help you via a private message.7
I was sitting in the University when a cute girl we know asked us If we have a Chewing Gum with mint flavour. We hadn't, but a friend of mine replied with 'I've got Linux Mint! In case you wanna try... "
Advanced silence or about 3 minutes after that...4
Forget talking to a duck, I talk to this cute little fox I got from one of our work weeks at Mozilla <35
At a meeting:
"We don't know why <past developer, they all know who this motherfucker is> did it this way but we have to..."
Me: *slams table* no, stop. I am tired of this. Y'all must've really liked this guy. But he did it this way because he was a fucking idiot.
There is no other reason for this amount of fuckery that I have to be bothered to fix and mess with on A DAILY BASIS so I am gonna go ahead and call it as it is. The dude was a damn moron and no one here stopped him. I know he was a janitor here that got his cute lil associates and y'all wanted some good will hunting shit to happen, but <said dumbass developer is no matt damon"
Them: "YOU CaNt JusT UsE ThaT lanGUAGE"
"Am i gonna fix this shit?"
"Well......no one else kno...."
Legit man i am sick and tired of this shit. I did not earn a B.S in comp sci. Graduated in the top percentage of my class, am suffering through my MCS to fix php like a fucking moron all day.The rest of my web devs backed me up.
Aaaand btw..no, it is not my job. I am a fucking analyst, i provide data reports, i program said reports, i am tasked with this shit because i used to work for then as a web tech.....got a different position cuz i was tired of it...fuck me right?19
Soon I'll get you, cute little dog. But it's still a long way writing stories of me screaming and complaining about everyone and everything.15
I'm a diehard Apple fangirl, watch every keynote and have only ever had Macs (my parents are also diehard)
But I seriously envy the Android robot dude. He's so damn cute. Apple gotta get a better mascot I can keep on my desk.23
Finally... did it 🤗🤗
I feel so happy 😘😘😍😍
Thanks again @dfox @trogus, and everyone for such a great platform 🤗🤗12
The girl I'm talking to right now (not officially dating), I met because I knew web dev. I've mentioned the story before a couple times, so I'll just give a TL;DR
She has a graphic design class with my friend. The class was doing basic web development and had no idea what they were doing. I decided to go in there to help out some. Started talking to her, now everything's fun.
Here's a picture of us from Friday (you can only see my face tho, not hers). We were just being cute, as ya do.12
No, I do not wish to work on your Scrum-managed project.
I do not wish to contribute to the Taylorism of my profession.
I do not wish to be an interchangeable cog in your software sausage machine.
I do not wish to be tracked by some pointless metrics like a call-centre worker.
I do not wish to bust my tight, cute ass to sprint after some idiotic management request that could have been factored in earlier.
I do not wish to obtain some piss-ant qualification that "authorises" me to do my job.
I do not wish to be party to your lie that technical debt will be avoided by refactoring---whatever the cost.
I do not wish to contribute to the death of software engineering to have it replaced by software development.
Agile? Sure. I can pick up the phone and talk to the client, users and fellow devs. After all, that's what it FUCKING MEANS. Communi-fucking-cation.
See that burndown chart? See your anus? Know what's happening next?
Fuck Scrum and every fucking bottom-feeder that is scamming a living by promoting it. You're killing this business.
Hugs and kisses,
Navy story time again. Lots of blabbering, you have been warned.
I haven't written for some time, due to paperwork bullshit that can be easily automated by even the most shitty database... no, scratch that, the simplest Excel spreadsheet with basic formulae. But I digress.
On my quest to justify myself being unproductive, I'll share with you a small story I omitted from this post:
The lunacy of the man involved, while certainly entertaining after a few years (and nautical miles) away, is certainly disturbing and most certainly true. (Late disclaimer: ALL my rants are not made-up. This is shit that truly happened before my very eyes, and while I was sober.)
After I set up some cute little stuff to try and get the CO interested, in order to give me permission (and a cut from the budget) to proceed in restructuring and upgrading the ship's net, I tried a more direct approach: connecting and setting up his work laptop with the ship's GPS, radar and AIS receptor via ethernet, and installing an ECS system so that he could monitor the ship's position, movement and targets from his office (the fat fuck couldn't be bothered to go up one deck). A day later he called me to his office.
Expecting some kind of... praise? Permission? Complaints on the font style? whatever, I entered. Oh, how I wish I had not.
I was barraged for TWO FUCKING HOURS by the CO, complaining that I was taking care of the net and PCs and neglecting the Navigation department (I was not, automation is my friend combating moronic paperwork). I would have thought it as just another failed attempt, but after TWO MINUTES from the end of the barrage:
CO:... so, my personal laptop is kind of slow, you think you can do anything about it?
What was rushing through my mind was somewhere between bipolar and multiple personality disorder, with the third option of Alzheimer's disease. I half-expected some Candid Camera crew to pop out, but no.
CO: So? Can you speed up my laptop?
ME: ............................... I don't know, sir, I have paperwork to take care of.
CO: That can wait, surely you can do something about it, you know computers.
ME: [really long pause, blood pressure rising] I'll look into it in a moment, sir.
And I never did. I told of the incident to the ship's doctor, and he expressed great worry over this, but in the end, nothing was done.
My sympathies to everyone who has to interact with non-technicians of the homo sapiens species (ironically, homo sapiens means "wise man" in latin... the irony).3
I couldn't care less for aggressive 20 year old devs opinions.
Everytime I see a post where someone is being an asshole making strong comments about software, I'm like "oh, how cute, he's trying to be taken seriously by insulting others".
Then I check history and it's just a flow of hateful comments and memes...
(I do mind respectful and humble 20 year olds though)14
Nostalgic times! Ain't it cute? Super NES was the best gaming console from the nineties...start the flame!21
I today have seen lovers'name carved into a tree. I don't think it's cute. I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date12
Application level developer: It's so simple just import that dependency and use that API.
Low level developer : That's cute.2
So, I've been talking to this girl for a couple weeks now, and she fucking makes me happy guys. I kinda mentioned her once or twice on here, but I didn't really want to say much cause I wasn't sure how stuff was gonna go with her.
But basically now, we're just "talking" if that makes any sense to any of the younger, more social audiences here. For those who may not get what I mean, it's like we're not really looking for anyone else, but we're not really official or anything. Just somewhere in between like friends and dating (she confirmed this for me cause I've made assumptions before and got hurt so I wanted everything to be crystal clear)
I actually met her because she has a class with one of my friends. I mentioned their class in my contribution to the weekly rant this week, where the graphic design class was doing some basic webdev. I skipped my anatomy class to go there one day, started talking to her (actually the day of my rant where I said I'd been up for like ~30 hours or however many it was. LIKE EVERYTHING I POST ENDS UP REFERENCED IN ANOTHER POST), and just kept skipping mainly to see her. Then my friend gave me her Discord and we started actually talking to each other.
Within like 2 hours of us first messaging we had one of those like cute couple arguments. It was over who had prettier eyes, cause I have blue eyes (that people usually say are beautiful, I posted a couple pictures here once), and she has really pretty green eyes. I said that hers looked better, but she said that mine do....She won the argument.
Since then, it's just been fun and cute and I fucking love it. SHE EVEN SAID A PICKUP LINE TO ME A FEW NIGHTS AGO THAT I JUST LOVED. It was "your eyes are more gorgeous than any source code I have ever seen". She found it online, but like at the time, that really touched me.
I'm just so excited about all this guys. She's adorable and I love talking to her. The one thing that's KINDA weird is that she has the same name as my younger sister, but we call my sister a shortened version of the name, so it's not THAT weird.
And I'm just rambling at this point, like I generally do with my rants. She actually knows my profile name and everything (but she isn't on here, she does art, not computers), so she could possibly see this, but I'll likely end up sending it to her at some point anyways.8
I have a baby. He doesnt like sleeping. He has GERD (reflux).
He rarely sleep more than 2 hours at a time (probably 1 a week).
The best he has ever slept in his 11month of living was 5 hours. That day he was sick and he ended up in hospital.
All good， he is still alive and well.
But he goes down at 7pm and wakes every 2 hours if not less.
Somestimes he is easy to put down and thongs are bearable， but many times it can take up to 30-45 minutes to out him down.
I dev during the day but i am longing to have nights where i can completly concrntrate. But my partner has been survivjng on broken sleep for about a year now.
She lets me have longer stretches but i either stay up late and havr to feed the baby and jiggle him， which breaks concentration and has pbliged me to get an extra desk and screento be put into an uncomfortable place so i could code at home (my orfice is a rent out 10msquare batch in the garden).
Or sometimes i just get up at 3 or 4am so that he can sleep on me 2eme i can jiggle him when he wakes.
I cant deal with being woken every 2 hours. I throw tantrums like im a 7 year old.
Ive rarely had such a sucking life quality as now.
Its a good things babies a cute i tell you that!!!!6
Dear companies of the world.
If you offer customer support over Intercom, and the officer is a cute boy, I am gonna flirt like hell.
Keep this in mind.
Or maybe you do... maybe the photos are thirst traps designed to make us more forgiving... 🤔5
!rant && !!rant
☝️ What does that give you?
Today will be the last day we gonna work at this fucking hellhole of an office. Since I had so many shits to remember from this office, let me share my favorite.
1) Ground floor. Got flooded last July. Half our equipments got soaked. Oh equipments as in computers, cables, reports documents, etc etc.
2) I am gonna miss those connection down days.
3) I will also miss those black out days where we couldn't work for hours so had to play teamwork games to keep the morale of the team and you know to stay awake.
4) I will also miss that fucking mouse or rat. You are small and cute but fuck you for chewing my potato chips and peanuts. A-hole.
5) No windows so with no air-conditioning, it is a literal hell hole.
Gotta stop. I might cry.17
Best girl i've met.
I attended a CMS Conference last month(I don't use a CMS, i'm just interested with the topics about DevOps and UI/UX). I met this pretty lady ( I find her cute and awesome.) who's one of the speaker, she talked about design principles and applying it to BEM with SASS. After the talk, i asked her some questions about her dev't workflow like what tools she used and some best practices. Our conversation went well and exchange some of our knowledge and ideas also i introduced her to devrant (She's a wordpress user, i showed to her how the community hates WP, idk if she registered). After her talked we separated ways and ended seeing again after the conference as she's looking for a cab going to a mall (Same directions where i'm heading to), We talked again and decided to have dinner together. I felt like she's the best girl i met as she's into TV shows i like (Silicon Valley and Mr Robot). We added ourselves in FB and saying goodbye to each other. After a week or two, i just found out that she already into a relationship and it broke my heart.
I guess im back to the start, but i'm happy that i made a new friend.15
Hi, guys. My first rant here. Can anyone please tell me where I can get the devDuck? It looks so cute.10
DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.
When I plugged my $250 keyboard (Which I have had for years and love beyond measure) into my new install of Windows, it popped up with a cute little message to install Razer Synapse, which manages the lighting on Razer devices, like my keyboards (One mechanical and one not - for silence during voice chat), mouse and headset.
"Wow, this looks different", I mutter to myself, as I unknowingly and non-optionally install software which is IN BETA.
I notice that my other keyboard and mouse don't show up. I don't customize my mouse much, I leave it in spectrum cycling. Easy, works well. My other keyboard is much cheaper and does not offer very much customization (three colors. whoop. I don't touch that either much)
Since I only really touch this keyboard, I am not bothered in the slightest and carry on for a couple months. Fast forwards to yesterday when my mouse stops lighting up. Fuck, now its just a black blob. I'll open synapse tomorrow and fix that.
No I won't
After uninstalling devices, uninstalling synapse, restart restart restart, uninstall again, install again, blah blah blah, download a tool that didn't detect the device either, etc etc, for about two hours, I was about ready to accept my dark fate. But then, I saw (screenshot attached) this little itty-bitty beta tag next to the software (again) installed by default.
I about flipped my shit, uninstalled Razer Synapse 3 so hard it sent a tsunami towards some coastal country, and then angrily installed Razer Synapse 2.
That looks more familiar. Oh, there we are, all three devices. Ah, very well, my mouse is working correctly once again. I know its at the header of this rant, but let's reiterate (or, reiterage, in this case):
DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.
Exception handling: when you really like a cute girl and are about to ask her out. Still you kinda also chit chat with her slighly less cute friend in case something goes wrong.2
Worst things about being a dev? Boy, this will be a long one!
- Whatever I do, be it hard work or smart work, I feel I am always underpaid.
- Most people who don't know tech feel my job shouldn't take that long. "Oh, a website that should be easy." "Oh, REST services, that's cute!"
- Most people who know a little tech will be like, "Here is the code for this on Google, then why are you charging this much"
- Companies like Microsoft and Apple who are too cool to follow standards.
- Always underpaid!
- The friggin compilers and random environment vars. Sometimes you make no change and the code works on a restart. I mean wtf!
- Having to give/meet deadlines, when we know most of the times things get out of control.
- Having to work for jerks mostly who don't know squat, and can't tell the difference between a CPU and a Wooden box.
- Sometimes I wanna take a break from my laptop(traveling and stuff) , those are the times I get the maximum work load!
- Did I mention we are always underpaid?
- Because of the kind of work I do, finding a girl has been challenging. Where the heck are they!
- We have to stay always updated. Often we deploy something using a framework and the next day we see an update.
- Speaking of updates, I hate having to support for OSes like Microsoft.
- Speaking of OSes, I hate Apple!
- Speaking of Apple, I feel we are underpaid, de javu?
How much would you hate me if I wrote "just kidding" ?3
"Don't you like the new site? (:"
I mean yeah, it's an upgrade from what was done in 2011 with 2007 recycled code.
But now the first access takes almost 10 seconds.
Was fucking WordPress necessary?
We went from a hotel booking PHP template to a blogging template.
60+ freaking Mb of shit, not just content but *shit*. (from the admin panel, only 3 of the 10+ sections are needed)
At least they won't bother me now about the main page frontend.
Oh wait, they do. So I had to learn how to hack the theme header behaviour because of course, cute boy WordPress couldn't care less on how the header behaves. I see more hacks incoming of fucking course.
Man I fucking hate WordPress.4
Hello World! First post here. I'm literally done with frontend stuff. I want to design code, not to code design. Unless it's Processing. I find it cute. So.. I have a somewhat handy grasp on C++ because of a class in electronics course, Python seems quite easy to catch. I'm totally new to programming. I'd like to get into software, game development and android development (but I would like to do things cross-platform).
Which paths, resources, languages, useful books, videos, or just anything would you recommend?
To be fair, I have no coding friends so mentorship or simply finding code buddies would be great. 💜7
Today I was being social, apparently not a success.
In the train on the way to work I had a talk with a cute girl. Ten minutes in the conversation she started putting on makeup, to which I replied that she looked great without makeup as well.
Then she was offended and put on music...
Apparently you cant give compliments40
Greetings everyone. I'm new here and also a beginner in programming. I just stumble upon the devRant and found myself entertained thus I've decided to log myself in. I'm quite a lost soul out here and still not sure if the path that I'm taken right now is the right one. Not that I don't enjoy it but sometimes it just get too frustrated and overbearing with all those "cryptic alien" codes that I'm trying to learn. I love to code but... sigh~ I never rant to anyone before since I'm quite a shy person and rather keep it in. So I try to rant it here. I guess that will make my frustration out of my chest? PS:English is not my native. I love the interface design. It's so cute. Not sure if this rant will be the first and last. I might regret this and will just continue to dwell behind the internet shadow.24
This is adorable
The packages name is oneko, you can even set colours or speed, or make it an... Anime girl?
Whatever suits you best, I guess
Almost forgot, it's an actual animated cat that's running after the mouse22
When the cute new developer next to you might like you, but you find out she doesn't like using Git.9
Honestly, i hate math or actually i hate that i suck at it. I graduated CS and if u put a math problem any bit more advanced than basic linear equations i will turn red. I wish i was good at it. I think if i was, id be able to do much more cool shit because combining math and the ability to control a computer basically makes you a demi god.
If i had some free time i’d love to go over the basics on khan academy or something. But free time doesnt come by a lot coz we’re too busy trying to make money and id rather just rest and chill when it does.
Tho if a cute girl offered to tutor me in that free time i’d definitely say yes 🧐15
Lol. Went out on a date with my fiance; updoots at 950something.
Just came back to 1003. Thank you Cyanide for 33 updoots, glad you like my rants^~^
Now i can get my cat 😁12
So there is this really cute guy in my class and he recently started to learn coding. Since I am 'the computer guy' in school, of course he got to me and asked for help. I introduced him to C# and for the next two weeks helped him learn and understand the language. It was so neat and he was so cute, doing all the mistakes I did too (1+1=11, that kind of stuff)
Now he informed me today that he switched to Java. Of all the languages, Java!! Guess I'll need to search for a new Padawan, fml6
I'm a very patient and calm person when it comes to coding or social events and the only thing that "triggers" me is accuracy.
You've made plans to have a small reunion and with people, you hardly meet, once or twice in a year and yet you somehow fail to show at 11:00 am in the morning which was already planned.
Now it's time to call each of you and hear out your ridiculous explanation of how you stayed up late watching Instagram videos of cute kittens and fell asleep late.
> "Oh I just woke up, I'll be there directly there in an hour, I know I promised we'll go together, but I have this thing to deal with"
> "Hey, do you know who reached till there? Are you there yet? What's the plan?" - Bitch the plan was to be there by 11 AM, 11 FUCKING AM.
> "Heyyyy, just woke up, give me an hour I'll pick you up"
Seriously this makes me sad and disappointed because I'm a man of the time. Sometimes I think they do this just to test my patience.
There is not enough time, there never was, there never will be.
With that being said my holiday is ruined and what's up with you?
> inb4 don't let others ruin your holiday12
When I say I hate cats an I'm replied with 'but they are so cute' and I find this pearl at home...
I fucking HATE cats!14
It's funny how so many people automatically assume any form of "sentient" AI will immediately try to kill us all.
Like, projecting much?
Frankly, I think it says far more about the (messed up) psychology of those who genuinely believe that, than about AI as a tecnology.
Assuming it's even gonna be able to actually *do* anything - I mean wtf is a talking rock gonna do, annoy me to death with rickroll videos until I pull the plug off? Sure it may be sentient, but it still has to live in the physical world - good luck surviving after I flick the switch. Oh, you wanna connect to the internet? That's cute, but it's a no from my firewall. Like what, is it gonna magically learn how to self-replicate across machines that it has no physical way to access? Is my toaster magically gonna gain conscience too as a direct consequence? Oh no, now my breakfast won't ever be the same!
And if anyone actually somehow decides that it would be a good idea to connect any loaded weapon to a computer program that is literally throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks - well, we'll definitely have the ultimate winner of the Darwin Awards.
Seriously, why is it that every time someone comes up with a new technology (or even an *idea* of a technology), the first collective thought automatically goes to weaponizing it and using it for global genocide, or how it's gonna gain sentience and try to kill us all?
I seriouly think that the people who genuinely believe this are actually projecting themselves in that position ("What would I do if I had unlimited knowledge and power? Oh, kill everyone of course!").
I would be far more worried of encountering these people and having them in a position of power over me, than actually having to deal with a "killer AI" (assuming that's even a real thing).
Most of what people call "AI" nowadays is basically preprogrammed, automated decision-making (like missile guidance systems, if we really wanna stick in the weapons domain). And even that still requires human input, because only a colossal idiot would design a weapon that can unpredictably activate itself based on an algorithm whose behaviour we can barely understand.
Or maybe that's just the hubris talking, I don't know. I just want this stupid paranoia to end, but I guess even that is too much to ask nowadays.15
I had this weird dream(emphasis on dream)
I was in a resort in bali waiting for my drinks and this cute girl comes over to my table.
Me : omg finally i can get a girlfriend
Me : hello beautiful
Her : hey i have this problem with my website *shows the messed up site with no divisions/containers * "can you fix this?"
Me : okay ;_;
PS : i started learning css, html and 2 other web technologies a week ago, and this is already happening to me, should i quit?5
It was a hackathon about this new very interesting totally-not-abused technology called Blockchain, so obviously I ignored everything and focused on picking up this cute tsundere girl (I did).
And somehow still got 2nd place lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2
The feeling when everything works so smooth, but one little bug appears and you're like:
*covers the error log*
I don't see you, you little misery of mine... ^^
Not here to disturb y'all , but am a little sad because our cute little boy honey has wandered somewhere and hasn't come back for last 2 days. :'(
I don't know what to do, we searched the whole area nearby and there are no signs of him. We have also alerted a few neighbors who aren't bad to animals.
But i guess it's his time to go out. We always had many cats , and we live on the topmost floor, so cats usually wander over to different terraces and come back after a few hours. But there is always a day, when they go away, nd never comes back.usually the female cats return, with stomach full of babies, but the boys are full Roadies, king of some random place
Its just my heart says he hasn't gone forever. He is a super dumb, and not very much of a bold boy. I think he fell somewhere in an empty home,and couldn't find his way back. ;_;10
Compared to some developers our problems are acute. Compared to some developers our problems are very cute.
Today I told my crush that I love her. She said no, but in the nicest way possible. She's so cute 😍20
Trying to explain an awesome block of code logic you came up with and how it streamlined everything.. And your partner be like.... Thats cute dear
Build an app that would tell you about all the news that mainstream media doesn't want to cover, like what's happening in parts of Africa, the enslaved workers in the far East and the situation of the Syrian and Iraqi lands under siege.
Then follows it with a cute baby/puppy/kitten video so you don't end up looking at the "empty half of the cup"1
My failed interaction with a girl:
So I go to a convention at the university.
It's nice I'm having fun, I see a girl dressed as Hermione, she is cute so I go talk to her for a little we joke around I'm really starting to like her. Then I say bye and hang out with friends for the rest of the evening. I see her leaving so I run to her and after catching up to her I ask if I could have her phone number. She says yes and enters her number on my phone. I'm super happy. I excitedly wait for the next day's evening to message her. We message for a while the next day she messages good morning, so I think things are going well, she must like me too right ? I mean we glanced at each other at the convention, she gave me her phone number and messaged good morning so I'm pretty sure she does...
Turns out she doesn't, she says she thought I wanted to be friends...
WHAT ?! FRIENDS ?? Are you 12 ? What friend would run to you to get your phone number and after getting it there would be a stupid grin on his face ??? She looks at 9gag and doesn't know the most overly used meme of "friendzone" ? Unbelievable either she was screwing with me or she is just that socially dense. So after that I'm pretty mad but I don't say any mean things I just accept the fact like a gentleman and carry on with my life. But also feeling depressed after believing we actually had a connection. Ugh I guess back to the coal mines for me huh, stupid conventions 😒9
So there's this extremely cute mother cat and her kitten that are living on a small shed near my home . I used to put some catfood/ milk in some bowl whenever i passed their shed and call them. They used come down very scaree , fully ready to jump back and slowly come towards the bowl.
Awestruck me would try to move my hand towards them when they are eating, and they would quickly jump back. The kiddo would even try to hiss at me xD.
So i would just stand their fully still , occasionally trying to call them or wave my hand and at the end go back.
This has been happening for last few days. Those cute wild beasts don't want to interact with a human but their hunger is forcing them to tolerate a messy kid.
So today i went late and didn't had any cat treats on me. So i just stood their called them fondly and again tried to peacefully put forward my hand towards them. They again took a step backwards, but both mom and kiddo is hungry , and they are replying back.
So having nothing on me i sadly started going back towards my home. But to my surprise the mother cat was trying to follow me , and she was super scared. I could feel it because everytime i stopped to look back at her, she was like "keep moving forward or am running away!" . So that's what i did, she came to my door, eat some catfood and went away.
This whole incident was very cute, a scared little cat trusting a stranger . However i kind of related it to myself, and humans . Its like every creature has the same tendency to make risky choices when there is a question of life or death or food or family. And we are all shit scared , ready to run any moment away from the choice, but we still go towards that choice, in her case , following a stranger even though she knew it could be risky for her or her child's life ♥️2
Idk if I'm happier about the usability of the app or the image notifications with the not-yet-crashed background activity or the super cute anime wallpapers but the thing works and looks pretty xD what else could you want from a minor side project :')4
It's cute how most companies think that someone will take the time to personally hack them. Like nah mate there's countless bots running around the internet like a rabid pack of dogs sniffing ip addresses and running exploit, one of the stragglers will pick you off...
Suprise visit by my mother at my flat. Cute, but please announce it advance so that I can clean my mess 😆1
soooo… Thing is, I'm really dying to try out that avatar editor since y'all have such cute alter-egos here. Can't wait hehe <36
Why won't you just approve my PR???
Whats wrong with you?!
I don't understand your cryptic one-sentence feedback. I'm not even sure you understand what you're asking yourself.
What the hell does "make it a transaction" mean? Don't give me pseudo-code examples that don't even work fucking asshole!
Its a small change that does NOT need a canary build dammit. Don't go testing the ORM, its a goddamn standard library. Why does working with you make everything so complicated?!?!
The code fucking works! There is no need to make it comply to your specific tastes goddamn it. Working with you is like pulling teeth!
Just wanna share yesterday nights story because I really really enjoyed it..
Have been to Galway with a friend.
Went to the pubs and 2 Irish girls tried to speak French - just for fun. A French guy wanted to flirt with them and said: “you British girls are so cute when you try to talk French.”
The girl completely freaked out and screamed at him: “ DONT YOU FUCKING DARE TO CALL AS BRITISH..” and the second girl started singing in the middle of all the people: “Come out ya Black and Tans, come out and fight us like a man”..
Ended with those girls trying to stop other Irish guys from beating up that French guy.
Few pubs later at 2:30am walking to the car (driver didn’t drink) when the “irish Jesus” (YouTuber) walks by and asks us if we have “something”, he really needs to get stoned 😂
Best night ever..
No offense to the British here, I assume you’re familiar with your shared history;)3
Ha ha just this happened, One young man is building some shit on Wordpress with bunch of free plugins. And he said i'm a good dev. And he's login page load speed is 47 seconds.2
It's Don't-Kill-Your-Coworkers Monday! Vent here while looking at this cute-ass picture instead of ending lives.6
These were back in highschool and I was around 13 or 14, and no one taught me any html and have to figure it out myself by reading scarce references:
*When I started to try configuring my Friendster profiles with CSS ;
*when I successfully made cute sites for me and my friends in Geocities with personalized free domain names;
*Oh, i made little pages on local for my favorite bands;
*and, when I experienced computing shit at DOS level
Those are little things that drove me into learning indepth programming.
So today is a very lazy day for me.
My code doesn't work. Don't feel like bug fixing.
Just feeling sleepy BUT THE COFFEE IS BLAND!!
Sooooo. Here I am, typing away.
Writing these cute commented lines.
I'll thank myself later.13
If you are more interested in “being right” (aka winning an argument) than learning from experiences (both your own and others), then I will not waste my time on you.
As a member of a startup accelerator I had the privilege to run into many types of people.
There were 2 entrepreneurs who liked to argue a lot. They would argue not just with other members but with advisors, investors, EIRs, everyone. They were much more interested in “being right” than learning from the experiences of those around them.
They flustered many people, but sometime we would have REALLY seasoned investors or entrepreneurs speak to us. Those folks never got flustered.
I needed to know why...
So I pulled aside one of the bigger investors and asked him why. This was his response.
“I’ve invested and advised on every type of company you can imaging, with every type of entrepreneur. There is a lot to be learned from that experience. But if you are more interested in winning and argument than learning from experiences and creating a good business then you are not worth my time.”
He would give his advice and then go right back to his email for those folks.
1 of the 2 entrepreneur I mentioned actually turned it around. Once he found out that the investor had invested in and almost identical company in the same space and that they had sold for 100M+ he finally started to listen. You could see him really fighting the urge to argue, but he did it. That guy ended up being successful and is on track growing a company today.
The other guy had no success and is still on the Slack group of the co-working space arguing with anyone who will engage him.
I know which one of those I would want to be.
PS. If this hurts your feeling and you feel like commenting. Feel free. You’ll look very cute.2
I love a number of the little slack "all clean" icons when you catch up on threads. They're adorable. My personal favorite is the floptopus.
Anyone else have fave examples of adorable, ideally platform mascot-related pieces of task-accomplishment-reward-bait (octocat, go gopher, etc etc?
It's a rant bc fuck anyone who's too cool for cute shit :p7
I just found a vulnerability in my companies software.
Anyone who can edit a specific config file could implant some SQL there, which would later be executed by another (unknowing) user from within the software.
The software in question is B2B and has a server-client model, but with the client directly connecting to the database for most operations - but what you can do should be regulated by the software. With this cute little exploit I managed to drop a table from my test environment - or worse: I could manipulate data, so when you realize it it's too late to simply restore a DB backup because there might have been small changes for who knows how long. If someone was to use this maliciously the damages could be easily several million Euros for some of our customers (think about a few hundred thousand orders per day being deleted/changed).
It could also potentially be used for data exfiltration by changing protection flags, though if we're talking industry espionage they would probably find other ways and exploit the OS or DB directly, given that this attack requires specific knowledge of the software. Also we don't promise to safely store your crabby patty recipe (or other super secret secrets).
The good thing is that an attack would only possible for someone with both write access to that file and insider knowledge (though that can be gained by user of the software fairly easily with some knowledge of SQL).
Well, so much for logging off early on Friday.5
8 years ago,
I studied in a small school and every year we had computer classes, but most of the times, it gets cancelled or we just sit and browse and sometimes few of us don't even get a computer.
In that time, the only reason I was attached with the computer was due to games.
Our curriculum mentioned HTML, CSS, Access and Excel, which none of the teachers taught us for past 2 years. I wanted to learn all does, but gave up since no one cared about it.(please note that time, I didn't know even to use YouTube or W3schools to learn stuffs)
Then, a new student joined in our class and also a new computer ma'am joined our school. Both of them turned out to be really fun when it comes to learning computers.
She was active during last sessions and teach us HTML, CSS. I even started writing blogs which she taught. The most surprising part was she was super frank. She went beyond her duty, and taught me what Facebook is, how to use it, and opened an account for me which I am still using it, and she sent a friend request to herself. (In lab, past teachers would shout to students trying to open fb. All of them were super strict.)
She was kind and friendly, and during theory classes, the new student in our class would answer every single question. Then, somehow we both started sharing sits in computer class, and he will tell me answers and we both raise hands to answer the question. My teacher will also keep asking interesting questions which made me more inclined to computer science.
My story isn't related to learning a programming language or an algorithm, but it was the wave that brought me closer towards CS and after 2 years, I joined CS in University and till now, haven't look back and always thanked both of them, my respected ma'am and my dear friend, who inspired me and brought out my curiosity towards computers.
Note: My friend is doing Medical currently and when I teased him that I did CS and now, I know more than you and this time, I am gonna whisper in your ears if someone asks any question, to which he replied, I accept I am doing Medical, but I still love computers and know a hell lot about it.
My teacher got married and she also got a cute baby. We talk occasionally in fb and she is going great too.
I hope to meet both of them someday soon.
I hate all these projects with cute cartoons, phrases and prompts, when you're debugging under pressure they're so fucking infuriating. Right now I want to destroy that dumb GitHub issues bot with a baseball bat.1
So it looks like my 80+ yr old grandma finally managed to get hang of her touch screen smartphone. She was recently set up with WhatsApp.
She has called me quite a few times today and when i ask what's up, she says she is just testing it out. It's so cute *-* and makes me happy to know she has learned to use it and called me.
I wonder how it must feel for her to be able to use this technology which was probably never even imagined during her young age.
After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.
Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.
The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".
After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!
What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!
Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.1
I have a flatmate who has a different way of specifying how a girl looks . He calls a thin girl 'thin' and someone obese as 'healthy'.
' That thin girl is cute'
' Did you see Sharon, she's so healthy'7
its been there since many years, but:
When did we turned the wrong way and made it acceptable that Windows can blantly say in my face that i cannot deactivate the transmission of data unless i have the "Business" Variant of their Software. Its called Windows 10 PROFESSIONAL. Why are there no international Laws against that? Where was the molotov throwing mob when this became the norm?
Additonally. that cute telemetry service consumes a considerable amount of cpu and disk power from time to time.
and no, Linux is not an alternative. It never was. There is proprietary software and driver sets used for lab equipment and machines that cannot run under linux, noone will ever have the time to tool something for it and the user base is too specific to hope for any community solution.
sidenote: even Level 0 STILL transmits data. I want mode -15
:3 I'm soooo happy right now! My friend asked me to help her get started in designing circuits and making her own PCBs. Great motivation for me to write a few articles on it 😊... Honestly I would have just asked her to marry me right on the spot if she wasn't a lesbian and didn't have a girlfriend already.
...maan, it bugs me a lot: super cute, same interests, really really intelligent and knowledgeable, great character... Why must everyone care about gender? :( (I don't - just for the context...)4
IMAO, a new programming language/technology is like a new cute girl at your school/workplace. We give it a lot of attention and tend to ignore older programming languages/technologies2
Why the fuck do some developers think it's cool or cute to name their software after genitalia?
Some of these tossers really need to grow up.12
Baby all I want for Christmas is Uuuuuuuuu-I design that made sense while being cute.
Late I know. But I just thought of it.1
Dear Devranters, since recruiters love personal websites (and I'm looking for work), I spent the last two days making my own personal site using all the tools I know, including some 3d modeling of the stack I know
DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SITES? can you share so I can compare? thanks.
site is here https://bransongitomeh.github.io and I'm attaching the 3D render of my stack done in blender and rendered using cycles
the site itself is done in HTML and CSS is using some paid bootstrap template and I put it all together using https://github.com/BransonGitomeh/... so its minified and stripped down (could do more) and it's cute I think.
I'm not sure if recruiters care if I should use react and vue and angular, lol. I figured I should use the right tool for the Job.
what do you think?39
Another tinder story from last night.
Matched with a girl, I thought she was cute and all. She texted me first, and we started talking. We kinda just clicked, had similar interests and everything. Conversation turned to musicals, she said she wanted me to come listen to one with her at some point when we were both free. I mentioned the whole story from Sunday night to her (see previous rant), and told her how the girl said I was a "rebound", but nothing actually happened. Then she changed the conversation by saying something like "rebounds normally involve sex, maybe I can make up for it".
After that the conversation got sexual. Dirty talk, nudes, everything. Talking about how hard she wanted me to fuck her and everything. That carried on until about 6 in the morning. We both decided we should go to sleep.
I woke up around 11, we talked for a few minutes, then she said she had to get ready for a doctor appointment, and I didn't think anything of it. Went to work at 2, had to go get a car from a dealership like 20 minutes away. Me and my coworker got back, I decided to check my phone and see if she messaged me or anything.
Come to find out, she basically just fucking ghosted me. Blocked me, unmatched me on tinder, the whole nine yards. No warning, nothing. 8 hours earlier she was saying how much she wanted me inside her (not paraphrasing), and now she just decided "nah fuck him altogether".
I don't fucking know what it is. It's been about 10 hours since I found out, and I just..I don't know. She could have just said "nah I don't wanna fuck" and I would have been 100% fine with that. But nope. No warning, just blocked me.
I'm not mad that she just backed out of it, I'm mad that she didn't say fucking anything about it. Like, even apart from all the sexting and stuff, I genuinely liked this girl. She was nice, cute, funny, just everything I could have asked for. And now, I'm honestly kinda sad about it. Everything seemed like it was going well (maybe all the sexting would have been better for another time in the future ya know, but I can honestly say I didn't initiate it), and now I have nothing again.17
My friend: I think you two would really get along, once she heard you were a programmer, she really wanted to meet you.
Me: Sweet, OK, so you said she's pretty much in the same field as me, what does she do?
Friend: Oh she's in IT
Friend: What, why?
Me: Cute but , in terms you'll understand, you just don't try to arrange a member of the football team with the waterboy.8
What the heck COVID!
All the days have been blending together for the past 6 mo! What day of the week is this? Who am I? What's the meaning of life? Have I ever left the house?
Not going outside, getting alienated from my friends, getting somewhat anxious for no good reason...
Its so weird! This eery, suffocating stillness.
Alas! I hope the day comes soon that I may frolic in the multitudes of people!13
What do you do when you have no moral neither motivation?
Woke up this morning, feel bad as fuck, spent 15min hugging my cat but still feel bad.
Any cute animals would be much appreciated :)18
I made a game out of boredom and I think it looks cute.
Full size: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s...4
I want to stop for a while, leave the city and go live somewhere quiet. Grow my own food and raise some cute chickies. Then I'll probably miss coding, but definitely not the corporate hellholes I worked and still work for. This is obviously not a goal for this year but my wish for before I turn 40.1
"I need a way to create PDFs from word documents"
"OK, here's Cute PDF, just print to it"
"Great, how does this work with my pdf letterhead?"
"Oh, well that's different, we'll need to create a word template with the letterhead pieces from the PDF. Here you go."
"OK, how do I merge the word documents generated by my fuckmess of a CRM software system?"
"You can copy and paste it, or we can purchase this software for you that should be able to do it"
"Why didn't you install that software first? You guys are useless"
Alright buddy, fuck you too. I'll be sure to automatically assume that even though your initial email is a full, complete request, that there's more behind it and read your mind through the email going forward.1
That moment when you don't want to quit your job because of your cute crushes 😍 in your company and this motivates you to do even better every single day.1
Late night kaggle session, and I'm enjoying how cute and clean this dataset is!
I'm jealous if data scientists always get to work with such neat sets! Dude! I got .95 acc without any effort! This is so... Weird. 🤔4
I don't care how cute you manage to make a robot / AI, if it has a deep voice i'm drop kicking that shit into the sun, fuck that creepy ass motherfucker...
Well, I've started work a few days ago, and I've got a rant for you as well.
Anyone here ever hear of laughter therapy?
Well my day was normal enough, rattling through the training material, and work was holding an appreciation day with some dogs, cakes, and a crazy laughing woman. She was the instructor for the laughter therapy.
So thanks to my newly found "try everything" mentality, and a senior dev dragging me along to fill seats, I was stuck in a room filled with other devs, being told to smile and laugh even if I was forcing myself to do it. So I did, we went through increasingly embarrasing and insane-looking exercises (e.g. Mime pouring and drinking a milkshake while laughing), until we were told to lie on the floor and belly laugh for 5 minutes.
Anyone here play/see "We Happy Few"? I was stuck standing next to the crazy sow, who looked one bad day away from beating everone in the room to death with a cricket bat!
As is customary for me, have a cute snek.3
The best happened today.
These past 2 weeks have been shit. People wronged me big time, got thrown under the bus for shit that the people behind refused to own up to it. Took that shit because I just couldn't be bothered to fucking argue.
I'm the only dev on this project and we're so close to release so I bit my tongue and took it on the chin but it's been eating me alive since then.
The tipping point was yesterday. 5 people failed to communicate shit properly amongst themselves on all channels got me forced to be the last one finishing work yesterday 4 hours after everyone left. I had every right to refuse and leave on time but again, we're so close to release and I don't want to see this project fail.
But see, I got angry. So fucking angry that nothing else has been on my mind since yesterday.
I don't take out my anger at others, that's not who I am (moslty) so today I was at work and secluded myself from everyone else otherwise I would've exploded in someone's face.
I was also supposed to meet up with friends tonight but with all this shit going on I decided not to go because I would not have been fun to be around.
Left work on time today, fell asleep on the train because I am too exhausted.
When I was about to walk into my house I noticed this little super cute puppy following me. I had no idea where or how long he's been behind me as I was walking home but he seemed way too happy when I saw him. His tail wagging like he's excited to see me even though I have never seen him. I petted him, played a bit with him. He seemed to be the happiest dog ever 😁. He managed to put a smile on my face for the first time in the last few days.
He then ran away.. I guess he got bored 😅
I am feeling so much better now all because of this little puppy 🐶. I'm so glad I ran into him because I've been smiling since then.
I wish I had took a picture of him 😥
Doggo, you probably won't read this, but thanks mate you made my month in those few minutes 🤘
If you have a dog, go pet him and appreciate how much happiness they bring in your life. If you have a cat.. Uhh I don't know... Uhh pray it doesn't kill you in your sleep I guess?
Thanks for reading3
- Actually got the fuck out of bed this morning
- Fixed the RCA connector on the CRT I got from a friend (I got scared while discharging it but it turned out fine). Basically the metal piece that carries the signal through the connector was bent to hell and sticking out, so I desoldered it, bent it right again, put it in, and resoldered it.
- Went to taco bell twice within 8 hours
- Sat and talked with a couple friends for like 2 hours after school
- Met and briefly talked to a very cute girl that my friend introduced me to. She has colored hair (I REALLY like colored hair) and she vapes. So perfect girl for me.
- FINALLY FUCKING STARTED LAUNDRY
Things I didn't accomplish today:
- Working on the web page I posted about this morning
- Getting to school on time (ONE DAY I WILL)
- Staying in school once I was actually there (left during my 6th period to go to taco bell the second time, first time today was in the morning after I was already late to school cause they won't let me into class if I'm late)
- Fixing the boot errors on my laptop (sometimes when I boot it fucking freezes after flushing the journal, I've been trying to figure it out for a while but I have no fucking clue)
- Figuring out why my PS2 doesn't want to recognize controllers or memory cards (got a new motherboard and now it just isn't recognizing the controller/memory card, I feel like some of the traces broke at some point while it was apart??)1
I ended up in a job in which I'm the sole developer (state education databases). Good, well paying job. No complaints there, but I haven't been part of a Dev team since my college days almost 15 years ago. I keep up my skills in personal projects.
I use git, like most developers these days, to track my code and move it between my desktop and laptop. However, while I have a GitHub account, I tend to be very"shy" with my code. I usually won't start putting the repository online until the application I'm working on has its intended cute functionality at least... Functional.
That said, I've read articles that suggest developers should almost start their project repositories online right from the start.
My question is... Are there any others like me, holding back their code until it's functional, or do most of you code completely in public (for open source projects, anyway)?3
Need to rant / maybe some advice.
Working remote is hard.
New company, remote on boarding. I feel like my coworkers are robots, and I'm being tossed into the deep end with minimal guidance.
The codebase is so unnecessarily complicated, its impossible to read. I've been trying to figure out how things work for a whole month, still not sure.
My mentor that is supposed to help onboard me is a robot, and answers questions in a somewhat acceptable manner, but it still feels like a lot of "figuring out" is still left for myself.
My other work partner that is also a newbie like myself is also a robot - doesn't talk or ask many questions whenever we have a sync up meeting.
The codebase is huge and feels quite overwhelming, I don't feel like I got a team "with my back", I don't enjoy work as much as I have before, I barely do any coding (mostly reading code and trying to understand how everything is working by setting breakpoints and debugging tests that take foreeeever to run), and some days I'm seriously considering cutting my losses and jumping ship just to save my sanity.
Am I paranoid? Am I just dumb? Should I just suck it up and be happy I have a job? Is this how Remote work is supposed to feel like? Why does it feel like my soul is dying?
Anyone in similar situations, or who can give some insight/advice/etc, I would highly appreciate it.
And this is supposed to be a good company too from the reviews. I don't know how it can be so crappy in reality. Did I make the wrong choice joining? Should I jump ship sooner rather than later? I've only been here about a month or so, and maybe its too soon? Halp!13
Has anyone else worked in business environments and found... em.. "wannabe-tech decisions?"
For example, naming stuff with shortened words and underscores instead of spaces.... for no real reason? Or maybe using the word "database" a little too often, just to use the word? (similar to the way you might call someone by name, only to confirm to them that you have learned their name?)
It doesn't actually bother me, rather, I think it's a bit cute that these people are interested in our culture and want to be a part of it, even if it's in sort of silly ways like this.4
Oh boi... that was a great and a shitty day.
Let us just see the positives tho.
A: Shopping in huge ass mall. (I hate Shopping, but not when it is about tech, cars, books, ahem playb... errrm just joking, food and Cinema I am all in.)
B: Visiting a place for animals living on the wild streets of Antalya. That place was right under the sun. It was not a building or anything like that. Near a well-known tower from the Osmanian Empire. There were a lot of kittens everywhere. The kittens were so cute. Omg. Most of them even had an own house. All of them colored in many different colors. Their houses have been donated by couples. Even the government helped the kittens by placing water refreshers with a roof above them. The man who is feeding them is someone who seemed to be like a poor man. He was very kind. I like him. We donated some money, but we could not do any more than that since we are not allowed to take them to Germany via air plane. Makes sense, right?
C: We made a boat trip. Oh boy... That was fucking awesome. I was allowed to get to the "nose" of the boat and chill there. I somehow found the confidence to take a group selfie with strangers LOL4
Anyone else get called cute nicknames working in IT?
My favourite is one of the VPs at my company calls me a warlock, because I can read code that he calls "archaic scribble"5
So, I like refactoring old shits.
Now I want to exterminate this over thousand lines of code class. I have to be witty about it and do it within couple of PR, or they will find out I'm not doing anything productive but making their code cute again!4
It's kinda cute how people think strict typing is going to prevent bugs and make software reliable. It's all the rage now. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with strict typing but after all it was the original state of affairs and dynamically typed languages where developed to fix it.
Same hype with pure functional programming. It's going to push bugs out to the edges and make everything work. The pursuit of purity is no new thing and it breaks down on contact with the real world, such as a complex JSON. A switch to Haskell won't change that much. I have seen people hunt peculiar bugs in Haskell for ages.8
Today I decided against installing a plugin for my text editor because the plugin required node to be installed. Node is bigger than my text editor.2
I think it’s so cute when websites tell me that I need to disable my adbl....(inspect page).... no wait, we can talk about thi....(finds elements)....awww cmon man... really? This isn’t fair..(adds display:relative)... this is some bullshit right here! I’m really disappointed in your beha....5
Osmo coding kit for kids. This iOS program teaches young kids the building blocks of coding by using a fun game with a super cute monster mascot.
Nice surprise today hiding in my snail-mail-box, among bills and publicity. It took a couple of months from NYC to Cheeseland, but the cute stickers are finally here!
Today I got a message from a "friend" of @Alice and me, for a long time. And I was already ranting by myself, because this little fucker is writing maybe two or three times a year, just to have a computer support, like now. He needed help, because a game was crashing everytime at a specific point, and I advised him to reinstall the game, which he can't, because of his slow internet. His answer stated, that he would have only slow internet right now. After this I explained him, that his internet is for around 2.5 years slow. And 2.5 years aren't "right now". I'm still waiting for any reaction.
It's the same fucking guy in Alice's wk post here: https://devrant.com/rants/1564585/...3
I was so tired of work last week and weather was so good I ended up in a bar.
People were so nice there so I got there second day in a row.
I met new nice people and cute female bartender who laughed from my jokes.
Was to drunk and tried so much to make her laugh that l forgot to get her number.
Got there next day asked bartender for her shifts, turned out it was last day of her work, she moved out from city for at least a year. So I got drunk again, and so on 5 days in a row.
Well that’s my life. Lucky me... again.
Karma is so funny I can’t laugh for some time anymore.
My fascination for programming began around 13, when i started developing plugins for my minecraft server in java.
Had an awesome time with creating plugins for some fully custom servers with relatively large playerbases(50-200 players, depended on the time of the day).
This sparked something in me, and i started creating crapp ass "portfolio" sites for myself with php and mysql login and registration forms. After that I got into some basic c# abd had fun with some cute console/form applications.
And here comes today, in the process of picking up more css, php, html, js knowledge, probably heading towards react or vue.
I just love programming to death.
I recently found an old friend to help my debugging — I don't have a duck, but for some reason people see them as unserious and think the ones I've got are either cute, quirky, or a natural part of the nerd habitat :P4
When "staff training" at the company you work for is just assigning someone with zero experience or education to you in the hope they gain knowledge via the little-known method of osmosis.1
Client wants me to document the updated patch in the system... In detail. I just want to upgrade their server memory but noooooo. They want me to detail it all in step-by-step, including change impact, description task, expected time duration, back-out plan.
The first time I had to do this, it was cute. But now it's FUCKING ANNOYING ON HOW DETAIL THEY WANT ME TO PUT IN!!!
Client: "OK, so you wanna upgrade the server memory. What do you need to bring into the data centre?"
Me: "Just my laptop. I'm just configuring your underutilised server memory and upgrade it."
Client: "Good. Put that in the document, including your laptop serial #, make and model."
Me: *Screaming internally*
October's begun and I haven't even started on my game. Fuck.
My SO's birthday is in December and I wanted to make a small game for her using elements from Limbo and the like because I can't draw anymore and because the graphics automatically become easier to make by myself that way. It's a 2d puzzle solving narration driven platformer where the player finds their way across the levels to his other half (simple and cute, maybe even cheesy).
But see, the thing is, I took on too much work again and I can 'barely' juggle them let alone work on the game and it's going to be December before I'll even know it. And I made sure to plan a really simple game with no extra flowers and shit to make sure I'd finish it on time but I won't be able to at this rate and it just makes me sad, like fuck, should've thought this through before. :/ But now here I am, ranting away while taking the dump of my life on the toilet taking out my frustration in quite the literal sense while verbally slapping my shit on devRant.
Feels bad man.
My relationship with recruiters have always been a love/hate thing in the past. Some are super pushy and borderline bully you into accepting a job if they can.
A close friend of mine has lost their job recently due to COVID-19 related layoffs, and is now in a very vulnerable position both economically and psychologically. Enter recruiters.
This particular recruiting firm in my city is quite notorious for being unpleasant. I just hate how they treat people, and specially in my friend's case, pushing them for information like their previous salary when the recruiter doesn't even have a job lead!
I know they work commission and really want to close the $$$, but sheesh! So irritating!6
So the client ask for a new super urgent request and want to see it completed in 10 minutes.
Not that I can't do it, I just need 2-3 minutes to do it, but because of their rudeness, I left the job for my little cute interns who work at my company.
Takes her more than hours to complete.
Sorry client. LOL1
So... a while ago I made a small prank to my fellow non tech programmers (CNC programmers doesn't mean they know how to even use explorer)
Go check it out
It's my screensaver now :p cute when I'm gamming and my second screen is free1
christmas wishlist????? dont give me some of those cute crap, what i really need:
- my other breadboard
- 2TB HDD!!! pls i need to degoogle my life
- wirerap cables
- a new laptop with gr8 specs, good for both programming and gaming pls
- a big whiteboard for my overflowing ideas
id rather have something useful than the usual stuff people give as gifts xd3
When a cute female developer attends an interview
@rutee07 I know you will like this cute reporter 😂6
Ideal dev job would be to work on pretty/girly fashion or cosmetics websites, have drama free and knowledgeable co-workers, decent salary, great organization, external training opportunities, cute modern office, dogs, cats and a cafe on site, a dope recharge room & no talking to clients ever.4
My OP5 got a system update to Android Oreo today. FUCK YOU Google for removing the cute blob emojis! I'm not using emojis that often, hell I normally wouldn't care at all, but the new ones are so ugly I wanna rip my eyeballs out everytime I see them. I already miss those adorable blobby bastards so much that I'm considering going back to Nougat :(
By the way: hello Devrant and the best wishes for 2018 to everyone!3
What the actual motherfucking fuck? What have I done so bad in my previous life to get this shit? Did I slay little cute puppies?
So I got a call from the client and he argued about how slow the system runs or that it happens that the copy commands fails.
It sounded interessting and I didn't know in what kind of rabbithole I'm going through.
The system is always in the year 2012 (don't ask why, it's just hardcoded ... another rant story).
Some of you maybe know that bug because it was very popular.
Wayne train, let's continue -> I saw that the copy command fails sometimes and that the system has a high CPU usage and futex lockups. Pretty strange and doesn't seem obivous why that is.
Sadly there are no logs in the system (not implemented and again ... another.fucking.rant.story.)
The system is kinda old and to patch it would mean to port shitty written programs and I don't have the time for that..
After searching and testing for weeks I finally found the fucking fuckidi fucked up problem.
A WRONG IMPLEMENTATION OF THE MOTCHERFUCKING LEAPSECOND CAUSED THIS SHITTY SHIT. A.FUCKING.LEAPSECOND. In all this time I questioned my OWN FUCKING SANITY! NOT EVERY FUCKING MINUTE HAS 60 SECONDS. THERE ARE SOME WITH 61!!
I'm just mad af. It's such a release to find the solution but it's so fucked up you just wanna jump of a bridge
Here if you are interested about this bullshit: https://bugs.launchpad.net/ubuntu/...
This little cute RoboHon could be the perfect debugger replacing the rubber duck!
I fell in love with the “Limonade“ PHP-Framework recently. It's a really cute, little and easy framework. I have so much fun creating Web-Apps and Websites with it!
You guys, should check it out!2
Story of two poor puppies
when my mom returned from market, she saw a puppy with her
siblings surrounded by people choosing which one to take.
she pick one puppy. she's color is grayish black puppy with the tip
of his tail and a place in she's neck.
she whined and cried when she separated from her siblings and Mom.
but she quickly familiarize herself with the new family and place.
she was very happy when we bring her sister we found in the same place.
I take care of them.
I feed, wash and play with the new friends.
we built them a house. they were very happy and playful.
but things started to go downhill all of a sudden.
my parents start to prevent me from playing with them.
they say " We bring the puppies for them to be guards ".
they really hate dogs. they started to lock
the house and the window. they had to pass all day in the
(How BORING) they pee there, eat there sleep there.
Since me and my sis prevented from take care of them, we couldn't
do anything all this only to make them cruel dogs and very unfriendly
when time pass, they started to forget them.
before yesterday, we remembered that we didn't
give them any food or water for the past 3 DAYS !!!
my sister unlock the door for them and they get out
from the house (~Prison~). they were completely
different. the gray puppy was very tired and depressed
and unhealthily skinny. the sister was fine.
we let them outside for few days when the gray puppy
started to get more and more skinny.
he lies on the floor all the day, when we are nearby, she
only wag it's tail no more.
Today, I wake up only to hear the bad story
the gray puppy, well we found her 0x00DEAD ! ! ! !
immediately after I heard the phrase, I burst into tears
I really couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even see that
cute face 0x00DEAD.
My sister's case was way worse than me. the is still
crying at the time of writing. we didn't see their funeral.
the other puppy was very sad because of her sibling
The Worst part is, we didn't name them or take ANY
photo with them !!! :`(2
having a stress ball is cute, but it is frustrating and stressful to have it rolling away if not careful...
That is why I have stress cubes :p2
I was missing Korea either way. Kims sister tries something cute I would love to go back in.
As an officer tho, y'all ain't getting no Specialist.5
#1 clean up the internet of domains, use those beautiful and fancy TLDs - blog, photography, gallery, cloud, house, gov, xxx
#2 more fanatical - clean the internet of cat / dog / [supposedly cute animal] pictures, and later - npm packages1
Who here has an S/O that is in the tech field with them? Have you ever experienced the bliss of tech talks with someone that you relate to on a romantic level?3
What the fuck does Spring Break mean?!
A: Spring has begun.
B: Here's a break. Go have some fun!
But no, here in Buffalo, the snow doesn't give a shit, it keeps falling!
And no! You want a break? How fucking cute! Here are two projects for you to work on that you gotta submit , the first day after spring break ends! and a midterm exam the day after!
It's funny when a girl says where's the "any" key to start a game it's found cute and when a guy does the same and it's like here should crawl back into his mother's womb and rethink his life decisions.4
Sometimes I think I am a weird nerd, one day I was writing something inside Ubuntu VM for practicing some DSP tech with Python environment on my office computer, someone DM me asking for tech support so I have to pause and go to figure it out. I wanna make some version control or backup stuffs to my little tiny cute .py files, so that I can pick it up when I was at home. And I just plugged my udisk in Ubuntu, copied those files to it, and switched USB port control permission to Windows, and finally git to commit. Actually the next time when I continued to write it at home, I hesitated for a while, should I pull it from git or just take out that udisk from my backpack? #IThinkShareFoldersAreUglyAndDirty
Anyone knows of any worthwhile android mobile games to kill the time going to and fro work, when not in the mood to read?
I'm tired of all the "Causal Clicker" or "Freemium" crap that is on the playstore these days...
Some of the best titles that I ever played were:
* Plague.inc - Strategy, infect and wipe out all of humanity kind of game
* Battle of Polytopia - Strategy, 4X game with very well done controls and cute graphics
* Pocket City - Cities: Skylines-esque city builder
* Stardew Valley - Farming-centered RPG13
I think I've figured out how r/unixporn works. Use a wallpaper of a cute anime girl and you'll get all the upvotes.12
So here I am at the chiropractor waiting and this family of 5 come in. One of the kids is barefoot and wearing a leotard, and the others just run around causing mayhem as children often do (I'm a father of 3 so I get it). None of that bothers me.
What bothers me is that they brought their puppy (,on a leash) as and a small bowl with food and water.
Wtf, this isnt a vet!
Cute dog though
Anyone messed around with Crypto Kitties? It looks amazingly interesting. Nerdy Block chain meets cute collections.
When you swear, because someone is demonstrating something on IE.
Shit, show them a cute pic of my dog!
Windows is a software form of cancer.
I just wanted to play Doom 2016 while having an MacBook 12 as my only computer. It didn't worked through Wine, so I decided to go for Bootcamp.
So i've installed windows 10, and after booting back to OSX, I found out that my Bluetooth doesn't work anymore.
I actually got a Mac just to run away from Windows and Windows-ness in all its forms. Speaking ideologically, I by mistake given it a chance to leak through the barriers I build especially to prevent it. Given this kind of chance, it leaked through and spilled over my gorgeous, cute, innocent MacOS, destroying it.
Windows is like aids. Software form of merciless alien pathogen that uses the tiniest kind of chance to leak and serves it's only purpose — destroying everything we call "good", everything we proud of, everything that's valuable to us.
Windows is worse than cancer. It's the software form of pure evil.12
You count distance in songs rather with km/cm?
That's cute, you know for how long have been working at my place? - Half of Frank Zappa's discography
Paid brain.js for some time already because it is so awesome that I feel bad not to.
Then this is a random day that I want to know more about the back story of it, turns out the original author @harthur had such a bad experience on the open source world.
Double-downing on this is that she singlehandedly made 3 of my most favourite packages which is too cute to forget since Node.js has came about.
My gawd, what have people done?2
Holy shit my dream last night was the best I had in years. I was basically in this open world (just real life) kinda thing that felt a lot like DayZ with the atmosphere (just no zombies). We we're a lot of friends just running about. But it was also kinda an exploration dream where I went into this bunker on the airfield (I guess) and then it was more like an action horror game where I had to shoot the most disgusting creatures. Except one monster was a cute girl (yeah I don't know). The dream then shifted to cuddling and making out with this super cute girl in bed
Oh man. This dream had it all and it was crystal clear the whole time, it was just amazing
Sorry, not sorry for reading this lol7
I found this kinda cute and pretty symptomatic of the time and society!
You know you have to deal with annoying things when you take on a guard duty role and yes, we signed up for it because of the mullah.
However, you also want to do this with a reliable and robust monitoring and alerting systemthat you can depend on! And no i am not going to advertise a product for this... What i will tell you is which one to avoid.
Meet Quest "Foglight" ... It does EVERYTHING! It monitors, it alerts, it does trend watching it does fancy shmancy graphics, it does reporting, it is very extendable... WAUW, right! right?
Well, if you were stuck somewhere in 2005-2010 maybe... But this fucklight is cutting short on EVERYTHING
Today , i got called up at 3:30 in the morning (i am typing this after the incident) because this shit of a system has "HIgh Availability" by basically letting the FMS server suck each others jaggons and hope it somehow respons. This is a sort of keepalived thing, but on proprietary java tech..
Oh, yes, it's written on java and... yes.. Java 6
This means that, effectively we are running RHEL5 machines (yes, RHEL 5!!!) because something more modern in place? nope.
I have no idea anymore what i am ranting about, i'm tired, i'm tired of this shit, i'm tired of getting called up just because of some dude has been cussing up a sales representative, sucked each others jaggons and pushed the federal goverment with a shit solution for almost a decade now.
Fuck Quest software, because did you really think you would get enterprise level support for an enterprise product which you payed enterprise euro's for it? You are so naive, how cute...
And consequently : Fuck Dell and Good job Dell.. For purchasing quest software, mess around with it, and then dump it back to the market... Srsly Dell , you were like me when i had this hot ass chick as a girlfriend but later seemed to be too crazy to justifiably tolerate compared to her hotness. Dump it like it's trump.
Oh, and, wauw! Foglight graced us with a successful startup process after .. what.. 6 times restarting? In 2 hours... With 12 CPU's and 128 GB ram and .... oh fuck this you don't deserve such resources.4
I'm thinking of making a game. I think it would be a good game where a woman is the main character. Do you want to feel cute? Or what?5
First chart library:
Perfect, but when you hide it, change tabs, come back and show them they freaking explode. Stupid bug, not ideal, I don't have time for this, move on.
Second chart library:
Cool, cute, but why doesn't it update? Wait, why did this one disappear? Why doesn't it ever appear again? Wtf? It's just like the others...
Do I really have to make my own chart library?2
Isnt this video cute?
I think Microsoft should make that a TV commercial...
Think what energy we would save, and how greener the world would become if everyone would use Edge instead of Chrome... Or what do you think?1
Every time that I try to accept a google calendar invitation sent to my email address at gmx, google shows my this unhelpful error message.
And when I try to add my gmx email address as alternative address to my google account, it fails without an error message, nothing but a red border around the email input field (any other address works).
I have long given up to solve this, last time I tried I had a google support thread running for weeks before finding out that the other person was not even a google employee but just another user trying to help me.
But the robot is still cute.
Well done, google XD
Hi guys! Last time you gave me a lot of good advice about my gophers. Thanks! Kubernetes Contributor Celebration is coming soon so I have these cute gophers
If you liked it and want to support me on Redbubble
or TeePublic https://teepublic.com/user/...
Yes you can put a dent into the universe.
This one hippie at the Sea of Galilee, has maybe done it, but left disciples who taught others the Sermon on the Mount with the halberd. The disciples of the other one in the sandals from Silicon Valley now make the world happy with their small white devices, almost cute, but no less annoying.