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Search - "restaurant"
My brother and I were checking out this new restaurant that had opened up recently. As we enter,
I inadvertently blurt out, "Hey! This place has a nice UI!"
Brother - "Wut?"
Me - "Ambience, I meant ambience."18
If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.
"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"26
Meeting with asshole partner company CEO at restaurant.
Me: "I'm a bit worried about the bugs in your API. There are some ways to retrieve privacy sensitive info from public endpoints"
CEO: "Well, we're a rapidly growing startup!"
Me: "Uh... so?"
CEO: "So... Move Fast and Break Things! Priority is to improve our API further, and we'll fix bugs as they show up"
Me: "Maybe you should stop trying to emulate Zuckerberg in your management style. You know that even Facebook themselves admitted that their slogan was a retarded mistake"
Waiter shows up at table. CEO orders some overly expensive fish salad.
CEO: "Well, they have done something right... they're worth billions"
Waiter asks me: "And you sir, have you made your choice?"
Me: "Do you serve popcorn?"
CEO: "Popcorn for lunch?"
Me: "No, for your congressional hearing"16
Duplex: Hi, Umm... Can I book 3 seats on Wednesday?
Restaurant: Sure! And what time is it?
Duplex: Yeah, Oh, I'd like it at NullPointer Exception if it's possible.
Restaurant: Invalid parameter "NullPointer Exception" restarting program...4
When you're sick of maintaining the biggest torrent site and decide to open a restaurant instead3
I put a lot of work into trying to explain to you muggles what I do all day in a way you can understand (it's hard, trust me) and you still reject it as boring nerd crap. I'm sick of it! What if you told me working at that restaurant is "putting water on plates, wiping it off, and putting meat and cheese between slices of bread" and I said "wtf is that, and who cares?" Wouldn't that hurt your feelings, that I didn't even attempt to make a connection with you, friend? That I didn't even attempt to step outside my experience to meet yours? Isn't it equally insulting how far you have to dumb it down, just for me to lose interest entirely? And yes, I know that's not your specific task. That only proves my point further.
And why, exactly? Conceptually, you handle pre-digested poop all day.
_I teach plastic to think._ Sometimes it even thinks better than you do.
How is my job less interesting?
And what's more, why does EVERYONE seem to think so?
How do you expect people like me to keep your iPhones, bank accounts, and self-driving cars working if you alienate us like an alternate species for building those things? I mean really. You people treat us with a disinterest harmonious with homophobia. "Don't ask, don't tell." Except you do ask. And then you condescend as if working with my brain makes me less worthy of your attention than your exciting minimum-wage restaurant job.
Have fun with that, by the way.
Oh, and you're welcome for <object I fixed that wasn't really broken>. Maybe next time, just google it.
I know you won't.23
Had to explain the difference between front and backend.
Waiter == frontend
Cook == backend14
The programmer and the interns part 3.
Many of you asked me to keep posting about the interns that I'm responsible for.
I had the intention but never had the time or the energy. Since the interns only kept doing stupid, unthinkable things and just filtering out the good ones is a task of its own.
Time has passed, some interns left us by their choice, others were fired (for obvious reasons). Some stayed loyal and were given permanent positions. New ones joined. I no longer am directly responsible for their wellbeing, yet, somehow I am still their tech-lead and the developer of their tools.
Without further delay,
New guy get's into the internship, has his LinkedIn title set to ‘HTML Technician’.
Didn’t know about the existence of HTML5.
Been building static web pages in the early 2000s. The kind with embedded, inline CSS.
Claims that he is about to finish an engineering degree (sadly I believe him).
Fails the entry level Linux test. Complains about the similarity of the answer options.
Fails the basic web-standars test because "they change so fast, but the foundation is HTML and it's rock-solid!".
Get's caught taking home onions and milk from the kitchen.
Is spotted eating in a restaurant under our offices in his day off. Thrice. He lives a 30 minute drive away and comes here on a bicycle or by bus.
Apparently didn't know that the scrolling wheel on the mouse is clickable.
Said that his PC experience is mostly from his PlayStation (PC = PlayCtation apparently).
Get's fired, says that he'll go to the press. Never does.
Yet another new intern. He seems very eager to learn and work, capable, even charismatic. Has an impressive CV.
Learns from the "case 0" guy and spends time with him until he is fired.
Comes to work at 8:00 AM and immediately goes to sleep on an office puff. In front of everyone.
Keeps dining alone, without a notice, at different times, for hours. Sometimes brings food into the office and loudly eats it there.
On his evening shifts keeps disappearing for long periods of time. Apparently drinking in the nearby bars and hitting on girls.
Keeps bragging about his success with getting their numbers and rants about those who reject him.
For over a year he fails his final training test and remains a trainee, without the ability to work on a real case.
Not fired yet.
Company retreat. Beautiful, exotic views, warm sun beams, all inclusive package for everyone on a huge half-island.
Simon (he's still with us, now as a true engineer!) brings his MacBook to the beach in order to work and impress all others.
Everybody get's drunk and start throwing huge inflatable balls at each other. One hits his laptop and it immediately is flattened.
Upset Simon is going in circles and ranting about the situation, looking for a solution.
Loses his phone on the beach.
Takes his broken laptop with him while searching for the phone.
Dips the laptop in the river while drunkenly ducking in order to pick a clam.
Still company retreat.
Drunk intern makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Huge verbal fight. The husband says that he files for a divorce. Intern get's fired.
Still company retreat.
Three interns each take an inflatable swimming mattress and drift with the current. Get found on the other side of the resort three hours later, with red skin and severely dehydrated.
Still company retreat.
The 'informally fired' intern gets drunk again, climbs through a window into a room and makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Again, gets caught when the husband returns to find a locked door but can see them though the window.
Still company retreat.
We all get ferociously drunk and wander off to the unknown in search of more booze.
Everybody does something stupid and somebody finds Simon's phone.
Simon is lost.
Frenzied horde of drunks is roaming the half-island in search of ethanol and the lost comrade.
Simon's phone get's permanently lost.
Five people step on sea urchins but find that out only hours later and then are unable to walk.
The mob, now including more drunk people who joined voluntarily, finds the sexually active intern making out with the enraged employee's wife yet again.
Surprisingly Simon is found sleeping in a room nearby.22
*eating at the local pizza restaurant*
me to waitress: hey do u guys support Bitcoin?
waitress: Yes we do!
me: great! I'd like to pay.
*waitress passes over the bill*
*i open my wallet and pull out a physical Bitcoin*
*waitress stares really confused at my Bitcoin with the scanner device in her hand*18
A client that owns a restaurant wanted me to develop a webapp for the restaurant with 15-20 pages and table reservation feature. He wanted to pay me with a "free" dinner in the restaurant.19
Brother: Make me an Android application for my restaurant.
Me: But I have an exam tomorrow
B: So what, it will just take two hours
Me : -_-19
*Sits down at restaurant*
Me: opens devRant
Wife: "You're always on your phone. You're supposed to pay attention to me."
Me: puts phone down. "What would you like to talk about?"
Wife: "...I don't know"
*sits in silence for a minute*
Me: opens devRant10
Tonight I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at a fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "Nothing". I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that i loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior, I can’t explain why he didn’t say, "I love you too". When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster :(
My code is broken, can’t figure out why.2
Some do it with coffee, some with tea, some in their house, some in a cafe, but I do it in a shawarma restaurant while eating a shawarma!18
My only issue with Microsoft buying Github is that it's one more step towards full almighty power for the tech giants. Soon everything will be Microsoft, or Google, or Facebook. It'll be like in Demolition Man, where every restaurant is Taco Bell/Pizza Hut.9
I broke up with my Girlfriend at restaurant and She started crying, everyone thought i had proposed so they started Clapping. 😂🤣😎13
At a busy restaurant.
Person 1: oh my God this man here is having a heart attack. Is there a doctor here?
Person 2: here's ten reasons why Kotlin is better than Java for Android development5
I have a client (a friend of a friend of a friend) who came to me to build them a "simple" booking solution for their home cleaning business. Easy enough, I first thought.
Having taken a deposit based on my initial quote and contracts all signed, roll on exactly 8 months to where I find myself today.
It turns out, there is no cleaning business as the business will be totally reliant on the website. The original goalposts have now been moved to a completely different fucking country. The (now) required functionality has STILL yet to be finalised (I told client I'm not writing another line of code until EVERYTHING has been mapped out and made crystal clear), as every single face-to-face meeting / back and forth email turns into the client requesting hundreds more brilliant, essential features that make absolutely ZERO fucking sense. And now, to top it all off and push me into writing my first ever rant on here, I've just received an email from the client this morning saying "what I would like to have is like an online restaurant live booking system". WTF?!?!?
I work from home and have only my dog for company today, so please don't judge me. Just needed to let it all out.12
soo. I'm at a restaurant right now. enter the wifi password, everything ok. till the moment I enter the admin and THEY DIDN'T CHANGE THE DEFAULT ADMIN PW. sooo I entered the admin panel and I got the creds for the wifi that's only for the pepole that work here, and ooohh boy I could do more. fix ur shit pls18
Alright, so you are a dishwasher and you do your job just fine.
And great news, the restaurant you work in is becoming THE restaurant in town.
To handle the volume you need to clean each dish within 30 seconds.
The pressure causes you to clean only the dishes that are easy to clean. Soup bowls come before ramekins with half-eaten Crème brûlée. This works for a while but it's self-defeating because not everyone is going to order soup and there is a growing shortage of clean "hard" dishes because you can only scrub so many of them to keep the chefs supplied. Eventually you are moving about 70% of the dishes in inventory at any given time and rarely used dishes have to sit filthy with their contents caking on until they are needed.
But Good news! Meet Jeb. He's the new dishwasher here to help. Efficiency! Except you have to stop and explain which dishes are easy and why they should come first. You have to share the sink, so you get a good helping of Jeb's rants about how things should have never gotten to this state and how nice the faucet was at the sink at the other restaurant.
In the interests of not making a scene in the kitchen and in front of any customers looking in, you smile and feed him a line of bullshit about how you understand and appreciate his thoughtful feedback. You'd rather just walk away and let him learn why being right doesn't buy him anything, but then you'd just be reprimanded. You and Jeb clean more and more until your moods match at a dead zone of benign acceptance thinly disguising your cynicism.
Still, part of you DOES understand Jeb. This SHOULD be simple. You pick a dish up, you scrub it until it's clean, and then you dry it. If only you could do that. If only the boss knew how hard you have to fight to do your job.
You privately go back and think about how much better things would be with some adjustments. Like, another sink. A dedicated dryer, be it person or a machine. Things that require investment, sure, but would more than make up for the value lost. You then remember that doing your job more efficiently would only bring more volume to perpetuate the cycle, assuming that you can even justify interruptions or reduced dish output to your boss.
You know that the root cause of your rush is really the customer's impatience and the business' fear of losing customers to a more convenient competitor, but that's not your job to fix. You are a dishwasher. You aren't here for the politics, you are here to wash dishes. But still you stew in a dance of wanting the power to fix what is broken while knowing you have no power to fix the most stubborn force on Earth: people.
You here a chef yell out that he needs 4 plates NOW (and not with spots on them this time, dammit), and you briefly fantasize about staring blankly into space, walking stiffly into a corner, dropping your pants, bending over, rumbling your butt cheeks, and blasting a thundershit like a 6-gauge all over the sink, the chefs, the food, fucking Jeb, and the customer body at large.
It didn't matter if you acted like a four-year old on amphetamines. The news would repeat your name for years as the dishwasher that wouldn't stand for the human condition as it stood, because the world needs to know that EVERY dishwasher's, no, EVERY WORKER's job would be simpler if it weren't for impatient consumers. And then things would change.
Pffffft lol. You laugh off your fantasy as the naive and selfish daydream that it is, then pick up the next soup bowl.
Now imagine everyone thinking this way, the dishes are invisible, the sink bowls are made of cracked cement, and the big customers will panic and attempt to raid the kitchen if they stop seeing food come out of the kitchen the instant they ask for it. And the boss asks you about your status every day while promising that you'll have time to clean the hard dishes one day.
This is Enterprise-level Software Engineering.3
Just wanna share with my devrant family.
Now I have own restaurant.
Ya ya I know it's nothing techie but I m happy that I own some business and I will test my entrepreneur skills here.
!dev I'd just helped a client cut over to a new fiber connection and then left for Vegas, about 2 days into the trip my wife and I decided to hit a breakfast spot that had bottomless mimosa's, which was of course a claim we had to test.
As we are walking(stumbling) out of the restaurant I get a call that the connection has crashed and the entire car dealership is unable to sell cars, which they tell me is important functionality.
So I make it up to my room and break out the laptop, luckily the mgmt interfaces are still available externally so I'm able to log in and then have the fun challenge of 1) not falling off of my chair 2) not accidentally making a change that kills what connection I have in and 3) fixing their actual issue.
Took me almost an hour to find a simple OSPF issue but at least got them working and happy. However by that time I was beginning to sober up, which is the absolute worst thing that can happen while day-drinking and ended up basically causing me to be be hung-over for the rest of the night, including my wifes friends wedding, which she wasn't thrilled about...
The moral of this story is to make sure to NOT stop drinking while dealing with unexpected production impacting events.1
The time when I've felt like a badass, was when I was bored at a Birthday party at restaurant.
I didn't want to use my mobile data, so I tried to use the wifi of the restaurant. I didn't want to ask the password of the wifi, so I tried to get access by guessing. At first try I got it by entering "nameOfRestaurantCurrentYear".
Then I was browsing Play Store and there was a recommendation of an app (forgot the name) that analyses which the device is connected to wifi. So that got me interested that I installed on my phone.
So I played a little with and discover several Samsungs and iPhones connected to it (Some of the them had their real name next to the brand. It would be funny to yell their name out loud and they would be looking around.)
But there was one device that I didn't recognized. I searched on the web but found nothing. So later as I go to pay my part, I noticed that the credit card device had a wifi icon on it. So I looked over to the cash register and saw the name of the brand. It was the brand I didn't know of.
So basically they were using transfer payments over a public wifi.12
What sucks more than running Linux as a desktop OS?....This hotdog-free IKEA restaurant.
Fuck this place.43
Quick burger restaurant (a Belgian burger restaurant much like McDonalds) using raspberry pi for their screen ... Well looks like it doesn't quiet work 😂20
The ultimate "I am vegan" guy will be arch linux user, vegan, trans, crossfitter and cryptocurrency investor. I've just met guy like this in my job. He did not shut up for a while. I am not sure whats he doing and whats his job but my guess is that hes paid for spreading cancer, sucidal toughts and eatig your will to live and talk with people...
R - retard
M - me
R: Hey CopyPasteCode I found this bug, it does 'this' insted of 'this'. *spreads arms to see his "muscles"*
M: *headphones off* Ok, I will look into it... *headphones back on*
R: Btw you invested something in the crypto, didnt you? Ive invested... ...bitcoin... ...crypto... ...litecoin..., do you think that... ...something... ...bla bla bla?
M: *tries not to kill myself after his 5 minutes of monolog* Ye sure
R: By the way Ive found this awesome vegan restaurant that accepts litecoin, would you like to come sometime?
M: *10 minutes monolog about vegan food and shit. At this point I want to die* Ok, I will now work on that back, see you later.
R: ye sure bro (wtf, "bro"?)... *looks like hes walking away* *teleports on my otger side touching my monitor*
WOW you are also a Limux user? 😮 Ivr installed arch linux this weekand and its so awesome, *another 6 minutes of monolog*
M: *smiling and preparing to kill him or myself* Nice, awesome *fake smile*
R: Anyway, I gotta go (FINALLY!!!), btw, I am going to the *name of local trans and gay club*, wanna go with me?
M: *after a month after a breakup with my GF (because she was cheating on me) which everyone in the office knew...)* Not really *trying to thing how to say "fuck off" without having meeting with HR*, I cant, I already have somethimg.
R: Oh, ok. Btw, you are rly cool bro (again), we should hang. We should hangout more often...
I hope someone is paying me for loosing 27 minutes with this guy.14
Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.
Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.
Husband - Should we go to a cheaper restaurant ?
Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.
Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.
On the way, around 6.30 pm...
Husband - Once upon a time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris(Search in Google, It is the most delicious chat) and defeated me.
Wife - What's so difficult in it?
Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.
Wife - I can easily beat you.
Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.
Wife - Let us have that competition right now.
Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?
Wife - Let's see.
They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...
After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up.
The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, *"You lose."*
The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home and happy as she won the bet.
Moral of the Story...
*Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment!* 😃😜😀😄😆😅😂😝😎5
So my friend, who owns a restaurant, asked me over 6 months ago, if i could redesign his homepage. I told him "sure why not" and since we're friends i didn't want him to pay me any money.
He told me what his thoughts about the design were and i told him that i needed the menu, some decent pictures of the restaurant, the "about us" story and the credentials to the server.
He didn't know the credentials to his server and i told him to ask the person, who made that page to send me the information i needed, but he kept on saying "could you call her because blah blah". Well, i did but she couldn't give me that info without asking the owner. So i met him and told him "hey i told you so, because it's completely normal not give sensible information to unknown people and besides that she told me to tell you that you should give her a call, because she hasn't got your new phone number". Two months later i got an email with the credentials, but still no menu and no pictures.
Four days ago i made a transition page, because i didn't want to publish the page with stock images and without menu, so i wrote him again whether he wanted design #1 or #2. Got a text at ~21:00 saying "design 2, but you need to publish it at 22:00".
I mean wtf?! He assured me he would call some people he knows to get those things. I told him, that it would be free, because of our friendship, but no support from him and he keeps stressing?! He knows i've got a full-time job and my studies going on, so my time is really limited and he keeps fking around like that?! Man it pisses me really off...12
Explaining my mom about my job as backend developer... She couldn't understand what is there behind the website. She was like "u designed the website. It's done. What u do full day?"
Finally I gave an example of restaurant... I am the cook(backend developer). Front-end is waiter. Finally she understood....6
Google Duplex: "Hi! Uhm.. I'd like to make a dinner reservation for 3."
Restaurant: "Sure! What time would you like?"
Google Duplex: "It's, uhh.. for tomorrow May the 11th at NULL POINTER EXCEPTION."
Restaurant: "Internal Exception: Invalid parameter not satisfying: time"
Btw, hi devRant, this is my first post!!4
Alone on valentines?
1: Buy 100s of plastic rings
2: Hide in the kitchen of a fancy restaurant
3: Put rings in glasses of champagne
soo... 5 days ago I ranted because of the "security" of the wifi on a restaurant.. here goes anotha one.8
One time was in a meeting with clients from abroad (big company with some offices in the US). After the meeting we went to a restaurant with the clients. Then one hour later our CEO shows up and starts tanking beers like crazy and gets super wasted. Then starts asking the client if they have a job for him in the US. He doesnt want to run his company anymore because all his employees are fuckung idiots blahblah. Then he asks me you understand right you have seen my employees they are fucking stupid. Uhm yeah dude I work for you... *awkward sillence, continues chugging beers, changes topic*4
Once I moved to new flat that had no internet connection yet, so I went to restaurant located under my apartment, that had WiFi secured with password. I asked for it while waiting for the order - it was "A1B2C3D4". After a while I got anoyed that it was so slow, so checked if can acces router admin page and restrict access for their clients. It turned out I can and they used default login and password, so they ended up with only my MAC whitelisted. Seemed they had connected their own business PC ("office PC") via LAN too, so I was curious if they call ISP to check it out. I checked the router settings every day, even after I got my own internet connction and they had it blocked for about 3 weeks. Then they changed WiFi password, so I came again, asked for password (another shitty one), checked router admin page and... still default login and password...9
Today I was drinking coffee in McDonald's located in Poland. All people in restaurant were using smartphone even when they were not alone. A lot of people are leaving McDonald's still watching on smartphone screen without any care about surroundings and their safety. Only me and homeless guy sitting drunk in the corner wasn't looking at smartphone. It scares me how fast people achieved some kind of addiction to all this apps in smartphones :o
Few days ago I saw news that one teenager got lost during going back from school because he couldn't use smartphone to navigate with GPS xD5
My customer service girl just told me that she gonna charge $20 to a client. The client bought one of our web development packages and requested us to create LinkedIn, Google+, Twitter and Instagram account so he can put those on his restaurant website.
Don't be surprised if I became millionaire around 2020.
// $20 can give us like 5 KFC meals here.13
To the guy who shits religiously at 2pm everyday and leaves the door open, making me have to stand up to put an end to the foul smell:
And what's most disturbing is that I've grown accustomed to his shit's smell.
A few weeks ago I ranted about stupid recruiter while looking for a job in the Netherlands - https://devrant.com/rants/1898997/...
I got 3 offers. First two they were kind of shitty small non-startup companies with single dev team, they also offered shitty money and almost no bonuses. So I used them as a leverage in other interviews and also last one:
- ...so I already have two offers on table, so please give me feedback asap...
Anyway, the last company was completely different. After first interview I knew that I want to work there and I will accept whatever they will offer me.
Let me tell you about it first:
- it’s mid size company (~100 people) with 6 dev teams.
- they have fixed budget for developers training
- they have their own restaurant and everyday they serve lunch for employees
- they have their own bar with free drinks
but you know those are nice to have but they are incomparable with the last one:
- they encourage their developers to work on their side-projects for a specific amount of time (paid) a week and not only that, they must showcase what they have done at the end of the year. Just how fucking amazing is that?
Anyway, I got an offer from this company and I accepted it immediately. Also they offered 250eur bigger salary than I asked during interview.
Yeah, just wanted to share it and now I can’t wait to start working there.5
Leaving for work before finding the source of a bug is the worst kind of stress. All I thought about the entire time I was at work 😭4
I love coding, solving challenges or making something. But the current state of most of the jobs in the industry is sad, specially in this part of the world. I am stressed out and depressed when stuck in a never ending daily grind.
There are days when I seriously consider the idea of leaving the industry and start my own restaurant or cafe. It feels like coding for fun and doing something else for a living could be better.
Am I overthinking this? Are there any other people who are feeling the same?16
Saw some cheapie little radio in the dollar store, bought 2 of them for reverse engineering. Powered it from my lab bench power supply as usual, and tested whether it actually works before doing anything else.. then I noticed that the tunes were actually quite catchy, so I just ended up listening.
Then I started to notice that the audio wire I was using (the one I've spent a couple of days building earlier) had intermittent audio issues where the right driver would drop out when the wire was held in certain positions. Oscilloscope probing showed that there was some sort of disconnect, with only the 50Hz noise from the power lines showing up. Opened up the connector and noticed that the ground wire had detached. An 28AWG electrical wire that was inside a jack that was meant for stress relief! Yet the copper strands must've detached one by one regardless. What do I need then, huh?! 18AWG which wouldn't even fit on the connector, only to see the strands in that eventually detach as well?! You know what, let's go fancy.. 1AWG which is meant for extremely high current applications!!
At that point I was literally shouting "FUCK!!! Why does this shit always happen to me?!! ONE FUCKING PROJECT THAT FINISHED SUCCESSFULLY, YET STILL BROKE?!!!! WHY!!!!!!"
Clearly I need some fresh air to cool down. On my way to the fast food restaurant to get some Bicky burgers. More shit, humans. One stupid driver who slowed down on me, which of all things I hate the most. GO FASTER ALREADY YOU SLOWFUCK, AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! Next a pedestrian with a dog.. I swear motherfucker, if that dog comes anywhere near me I'll personally turn it into fucking fricassee.
Ah and then comes the killer.. in this stupid fucking summer, all that's needed to fix any issue is a fucking stupid DESPACITO, right?! More like DeSPASTICo!! FUCK!!!!
.. Back home, rather tired. So essentially a wire that was specifically built to have high endurance broke on me. Back to Bluetooth I guess.2
For once, all the general public were fucking awesome. Everything was great until the blisters I got on my shin (idfk know how) popped and dude gave me attitude because i went to the kitchen (the place with the knives and lots of people) to get a first aid kit.
No, I'm not fucking telling you I know your place better than you do. Idgaf that it's a five star restaurant. And I don't care if you fart glitter and shit rainbows. I need a medical kit, or I'm going to strangle someone with their small intestines because of the pain. 3 days of 13 hours and little food. I'm burnt, blistered, tired, and hungry.2
I learn programming cause it was in my genes.
My father was a programmer himself but, he died back in 2005 of September when I was 5 years old. So I guess I program to continue what he did. He was in the process of making a game but, failed to do it. He had concept art created and even mad characters. When I get real good, I plan to program that game for him and dedicate it to him.
I started programming on a website called Scratch back in 2010 (in think), which I saw a Ted Talk on, and started from there. I use KhanAcademy as I am home schooled and when they introduced the programming tutorials to that website, I was immediately hooked and it was just the beginning.
I used Scratch for three years and I wanted to know more, so I did research and discovered a program called Stencyl and started making a game I made from scratch into that format.
I used that program and when 2013 hit, moved to a new church and met an old friend and all of sudden we started making games together and we relesed our first game on Scratch called Minecart Chaos.
That took three months to create. He did all the art and I, of course, did the programming. The three months later we were at it again making a new game called EMP Restaurant Rampage. That also took three months to create. one of his friends composed the music. We are now in the process on making a new game and I am now tasked to make the music. So that is my history.8
A man starts choking in restaurant, the waiter yells out "is anyone a doctor?"
On the other side of the room a man jumps up and yells "I'm a vim user".1
You know. I have mixed feelings on the way people have been reacting to senzory's rant regarding the way he deals with clients. Some people believe that he is unethical, some people see it as just business(me included) but to see what the community says is somewhat interesting.
First, let me be clear on something: i have been fucked over by clients many times for being a nice guy and trying to play it nicely.
Because of this I am selective of who deserves good treatment and who gets to fuck off. But regardless of the client I do the same thing: regardless of who it is, nice or otherwise. If a project will take 1 week to complete then I tell them that it will take 3 to 4 weeks. Why? Well because I have many things on my plate, I am married and have two children, one lives with me and I try to spend as much time with them as I can. I work from 8 to 6, sometimes later and when I get home I sometimes don't do shit since at work I maintain the web services of 2 fucking college campuses.
I don't look for my clients. Through word of mouth they come to me. And being in a privileged position(there are about 5 devs here and they all suck) they can either do with my times and fees or can fuck off over the border where Pedro will do their shit on vbscript and classic ASP(which I like, but you know why this is not an option in 2018)
Apps can be sold for large quantities of money, regardless of what their use case is, if a company wants to outsource their apps to an external developer(such as yours truly) that means that they are willing to play the game. And that is what business is: a game, a survival game.
Where I live, a company will not think twice of firing a single mother for whatever reason. In the U.S of A, and specially in Texas, you can be fired for whatever reason. I have automated people's jobs without knowing it, I have made people lose their jobs and saved companies thousands with my apps. Things like that were not know to me, had I known that someone would have lost their jobs I would have tried differently.
If a company is willing to tell employees(loyal employees) to fuck off, then i do not regret charging what I do and hustling the way I do with rat faced dickheads that care not for people. If I could I would destroy entire companies here. But that is for another story.
I have been used, insulted, gambled with and have been lied to, to my face by these companies. Which has left me jaded.
Oh now, trust me. I am still highly optimistic and nice. And if someone has a small business and I can help them out, then I will lower my rate and give positive vibes in the hopes of making things better through karma. I want to see the best in people. But this does not stop me from being a shark and giving quotes the way I do.
Because companies, as an overall entity are not people with the best intentions(sometimes) and they will not take your kindness, they will take advantage if possible in an effort to save money. Its just dickhead business.
So why, as a professional and privileged developer that obtained his skills through intense study and practice, a wizard by all means, should lower to these nameless, Faceless entities?
Why should i give them the fairness they do not give others? Why should I play the high morale game and come out as a loser?
At the end of the day, I get to swim in my own pool of success, knowing that they did not get the chance to fuck me over
So if you tell me that you took advantage of your hard earned skillset, and built a cross platform app(which compiles to native binaries) and sold 2 products for one, I will tell you that you are an excellent player at their game. If you tell me that you finished before and got to charge for 2 weeks of work doing just 2 days I will say that you are an excellent time manager. And if you tell me that at the end of the day you managed to keep said customer I will tell you that you are a true professional.
There is a difference lads, in selling a product to big momma jamma's cajun restaurant, to the largest logistics company around.
Be nice to those that desserve it.7
Odd things that non-technically-inclined people do, say, or believe:
"Back in my day we didn't have our faces planted in cell phones!" True, but they sure did love them some magazines and newspapers.
"I don't need internet! I need that 'wee-fee'" -- from my wife's stories about one of her clients, who wanted to set up WiFi.
A restaurant owner who, in 2017 mind you, refuses to upgrade his phone above a touch-tone with a handheld receiver.
When my wife, son, and I were visiting her aunt and uncle in Florida, her uncle kept asking her help on how to configure his smart phone. She's a saleswoman and I'm a computer engineer. Not complaining, just an observation. Actually I'm glad because I can avoid a million questions that I won't ever have time for.
When someone in line at the store causes a glitch in the chip reader because they don't know how to follow directions on-screen. Then they blame "those damn computers!" during a verybquick reboot.
People who enjoy sunshine. I don't understand this obsession that non-technical people have with sunny days. Maybe if I were on a tropical beach drinking whisky all day, but I live in NYS so...
When I'm describing a computer program I put a lot of effort into, only to have the conversation derailed adter thirty seconds by an hour-long family gossip section.2
One time I applied for a contract position for a company and get an email the next day asking for an interview two days later which I accept and attend. They want someone to convert their website from Wix to WordPress while keeping the same look, I would have about a month to do it (then after that create an e-commerce page). So far I can do that. They email me 2 hours after the interview asking for a 2nd interview on the following Monday which I accept and attend. There I meet one of the founders (I guess) and he really asks me about SEO and what keyword tool I use (they didn't ask about seo keywords in the job posting or at the 1st interview) then he tells me that the website needs to be converted over in 4 days (instead of the 1 month I was told 2 days earlier). Then he asks what I quote. I gave him a number (less than $10,000) and he looked at me like I had 3 heads, I then said I needed some time to come up with a quote. He said no problem, email the guy who 1st interviewed you the quote before the end of the day and if we like it you will start tomorrow.
I then went to a nearby restaurant and thought it over then made up an email telling him that I wouldn't take on the project. There were so many red flags, and the fact that they want it done in 4 days would have meant working at least 12 hour days. A couple of hours later I emailed them to say no, they didn't reply and their website is still on Wix today.
If something needs to be done quickly then know it's going to cost you (and tell someone your budget in the 1st interview).12
When I started cracking up at this, I feel like everyone in the restaurant must have thought I thought southern accents were hilarious or something...
People that blast their video in a restaurant that isn't that loud are awful people.
Like fuck you I don't wanna hear your garbage video at full volume you cock sucking cunts.4
Take the know-it-all guy you grew up with, that ruins every relationship he's ever had with friends and family, because he gets angry when folks don't deem him as the authority, even for shit he doesn't have a single clue about doing correctly.
Now make him the manager of a fast-food restaurant - so he can command anyone he pleases, making them do anything he wants them to, because he feels it's fun to experiment with co-workers emotions.
Give him an assistant manager that realizes that the only way they can keep their job is to kiss his ass, blowing him every once in a while for a ten cent raise, while the rest of the employees do nothing but smile, say "yes, sir", and go about their business - eventually shit talking about him at the parties he's not invited to.
Watch him jump on every fashion trend, no matter how much it costs, until he eventually decides that the job he's had for the last decade and his fellow employees are beneath him, without saving any money to pay for the things he needs to survive, or taking the proper time to learn all the things that would have made him successful in the long run.
Even though he was an uptight twat and a half, some folks feel that he never got the chance he deserved, as death comes knocking at an earlier age than many would have expected; creating an empty, irrational, and partial dependency in their lives, caused by problems he never cared to correct for their love and admiration, while others are happy as fuck that he's breathed his last breath.
This is the state of our current industry.
*Drops the mic*1
So I like to order the same thing for each restaurant. And there's this really good Mexican restaurant. Every time I eat there, the price of my order is $13.37. That is all.3
*enters in restaurant*
After 15sec new notification
*Write your review for this place, to help others*
At least let me see the godamn Menu first.
Fuck you google3
Thanks major restaurant chain. I don't want to wait the 30 seconds for your cheezy animation to finish before I get my gift card's number. I'm hungry. Know your users.5
Sent my coworker a LMGTFY link sarcastically, and he legitimately thought it was a great tool for showing people how you search for stuff on the internet.
This same client had never in his 50+ years on this Earth, used a debit or credit card to pay for a meal at a restaurant. Needless to say, we made him use his company card for every meal on the rest of the trip.
He also wears a black trench coat... Everyday.
When a customer moans about a site not working in an old version IE. I bet they have their steak well done when ordering in a restaurant too.
not necessarily dev related, but fuck this tilted me heavily.
I was working my other job today, and we were up to 12 hour shift. about 6 hours in we finally get called for lunch.
so we go to the venue's restaurant, and to our surprise there were no meats at all to put on bread or whatever.
So we walk up to a worker there asking where we can find the meats. she replied "Its no meat monday, we only serve vegetarian today"
excuse me? I'm 100% fine with people being vegetarian, and think its great most places offer vegetarian meals now. but why the flying fuck do i have to be forced to be a vegetarian aswell now? where is my fucking no salad saturday or fried chicken friday where you only serve meats?
Ofcourse that doesnt exist because it would be "outrageous" to not think of vegetarians. but for some fucking reason its apparantly fine to deny people their meat.3
I was helping a client launch a new website. We met in a restaurant to do the final launch work. I mentioned I use VPN software to protect my computer on public WiFI and taught him what it means. He said it sounds hackerish and untrustworthy and I had a hard time explaining how it’s actually a countermeasure to hackers.
The next day he calls and says his cell phone is acting up and wants to know what my VPN software might have done to cause that.
How do some people get dressed in the morning?2
When your favorite IDE is Netbeans, but you hate Java. It's like you have a favorite meal, but you hate the restaurant.2
Google is amazingly good at using tech to solve problems we did not even know we have...
I mean.. How did we even survive til this day w/o google making restaurant reservation or barbershop calls..? We are cavemen bcz we still do it all ourselves... So inefficient..
Thanks to McDonald's for such a wonderful morning... And this may explain why a busy store is now empty...
-Order mobile deal at home
-Walk 15mins to the restaurant
-Opens app, get message "your account has been deleted"
-Tried to sign up with Google, error
-Sign up with Facebook, OK!!
(btw I got a privacy message from Google this morning... Haven't got one from FB yet... hmm...)
-tried to redeem again. All coupons are like "not available at this location"
Well since I'm here anyway...
-Walks to machines and enters the codes, it works!!!!
FFS MCD JUST TELL PPL THESE COUPONS CAN BE REDEEMED IN STORE ONLY!!!! AND DON'T RANDOMLY DELETE ACCOUNT BC YOU CAN'T SUPPORT GPDR OR UR SYSTEM CRASHES FROM AN INTERNAL BUG
Lucky I redeemed my free coffee last week...2
Made a full restaurant web-booking system for a customer...
Customer is so low-tech and don't use it at all....just print all mails received without notifying anyone else :(
Every Website seem to has some glitches... and you can't ignore them like non-web-devs do... i wish i could look up the menu on a local restaurant-website without going crazy about the buggy slider or the misaligned address-div
I always wondered how it would be to have English as mother tongue.
- Insects are causing problems in computers,
- you're using a glass door or a fruit for OS (well, some of us),
- the internet is made of people bringing your glass in the restaurant,
- you navigate on the spider's fiber,
That must feel weird considering it's the same words that you use for other parts of your life8
I usually open this account when my brain is full of shit. So brace yourself if you wanna read next. you won't get any more happier. i definitely am not.
I AM A SHIT RIGHT NOW. So fucking done with everything. a month from now and i turn 21, and look what i have achieved: shitty brain, shitty personality, ugly looks nd no income. But well, most of the people i know are more or less similar.
But what the fuck i am. so less of confidence. can't even write here without a fake account. Coz my original account has details of a cheerful, joke posting swaggy mobile dev guy with good social skills. But am I? where is the proof? I am about to go to 4th year this august, my college (of the "great" indian edu system) wants the students to do internships and fucks. But i don't wanna do that. I had done that twice already when other students were playing and roaming and enjoying their life
So here i am , a so called "dev" not doing any shit in summer.
So what i am doing? wait we wil come to that.
So how's college going? shit. Maybe i am not fooling myself and the other people around me that i am a "so good" dev that i keep my fat ass home during summer and do poorly at college with average attendance & marks. But currently everyone is forgetting me and giving me shit for being a shitty student.
Oh. So how'z family doing? Oh its Bad(even writing that word hurts) to be honest my daddy( i love him so much) was not a good businessman. We changed business from being a small grocery shop owner to water supplier to now a restaurant. mum and dad, they are now in debts that hey can pay but they are trying their best to get a settled life and safe source of income.We are at the verge of closing. fuck. Our food is liked by everyone, but here we need a staff of 7 .Those fucking cheap village labor runs off to their homes in summer. And my dad who should be manager ,has to do tasks like cleaning utensils. Yet he does, that lovely old man.
And what does their "only 21 yr old son" does? fucking sit in their home, doing no shit but sleep during the day and watching a fucking laptop screen during the night.
Its been 2 years of mobile dev. i think i know a lot of things, But i don't feel confident about it. I thought about giving a certification paper that would give me a little boost but i don't feel confident about that too. its syllabus had a lot of things that i didn't know when i saw it first, last year. There are a lesser things now that i don't know. and maybe if i give it a week or two, i would be fully equipped to take that shit.
That's what my plan of action was, this summer. That , along with many other things: To give that paper. To learn 10-12 more frameworks/technology/languages, build 2-3 production level apps ,have a solid resume and then try for companies(but clg wants to force us in getting internships and shit).Also in terms of personal goals: get in shape wake up early, sleep early , exercise,go for runs, eat right. get and learn a fucking 2 wheeler (Yup. that's right. 21 yaer old ,who doesn't have/know how to drive a scooty. family couldn't have bought it then and now i don't want it. another pin of shame on my chest). help my small 3 ppl family in its business.
But all went to this shit that i have made.
>>"Hey X, its vacations now! let's learn this new language/framework/gaming engine that we so much dreamed during our papers" "Meh. fuck it, first let me get give that paper i have been postponing" .
>>"oh yeah you can prepare for that in a week ,let's do this" *15 days passes. no shit is done*
>>"Oh X, you gotta stop wasting time" *downloads another season of oitnb*
>>"Common man. okay stop, let's leave screen, wake up early , focus on body goals" *Wakes up tomorrow, goes to park, does running,exercise, comes home. Ow body hurting. sleeps full day. wakes in evening*
>>"Oh man, you missed the whole day's study" " yeah mann. fuck the morning routine. that makes body full of pain. Let's leave body goals, we can't focus on study coz of that. and what good would a less obese sagging guy be anyway, when you are already 5'4 . fuck exercise"
>>" hmm. okay. but no more web series or sleepless nights" *Goes on watching full series in night and sleeping full day without moving his ass by an inch, while poor family goes onto their routines*
>> "ahh this is getting insane. go meet your friends, you are too lonely. How are they anyway?" Fucking great friends they are. I used to think that i overthink about friendships & othr ppl's actions and should take things lightly. So when a small prank happened and i got out of the 'whatsapp' group, i was never invited in again and am now totally cut off! in real life we are all chill, even when we DM its all gud, but mann , did we all actually chatted in that shitty group only? coz i don't see any msgs in my DM. what the fuck is everyone upto ? I keep feeling those lazy asses are talking w/o me but keep trying to tell myself to not give a fuck coz they don't.
this just happened a few seconds ago and I am just laughing at the pathetic site that is Facebook. xD
4 years ago:
So I was quite a noobie gamer/hacker(sort of) back then and i had a habit of having multiple gmail/fb accounts, just for gaming, like accounts through which i can log in all at once in the same poker room, so 4/5 players in the game are me, or just some multiple accounts for clash of clans for donations.
I had 7-8 accounts back then. one had a name that translated to "may the dead remain in peace "@yahoomail.com . it was linked to fb using same initials. after sometime only this and 2 of my main accs were all i cared about.even today when i feel like playing, i sometimes use those accs.
2 years ago.
My dad is a simple man and was quite naive to modern techs and used to hang around with physical button nokia phones.But we had a business change, my father was now in a partnership in a restaurant where his daily work included a lot of sitting job and and casual working. So he bought a smartphone for some time pass.
He now wanted to download apps and me to teach him.I tried a lot to get him his own acc, but he couldn't remember his login credentials.
so at the end i added one of my own fake ID's(maythedead...) so he could install from playstore, watch vids on youtube and whatever.
The Actual Adventure starts now
Today, 1 hour ago:
I had completely forgot about this incident, since my parents are now quite modern in terms of tech.
But today out of nowhere i recieved an email that someone has JUST CHAINGED MY FB PASSWORD FOR ONE OF MY FAKE ACCS!?!??
what the hell, i know it was just a useless acc and i never even check my fb from any acc these days, but if someone could login into that acc, its not very difficult to track my main accs, id's, etc so i immediately opened this fb security portal and that's where the stupidity starts:
1)To recover your account they FUCKIN ASKS FOR A PHYSICAL ID. yeah, no email, no security question you have to scan your driving license or passport to get back to your account.And where would I get a license for some person named "may the dead remain in peace"? i simply went back.
2) tried another hack that i thought that will work.Closed fb help page, opened fb again , tried to login with my old credentials, it says" old password has been changed,please enter new password", i click forget password and they send an otp. i thought yes i won, because the number and recover mail id was mine only so i received it.
when i added the otp, i was first sent to a password change page (woohoo, i really won! :)) but then it sends me again to the same fuckin physical id verification page.FFFFFFFFFuck
3)I was sad and terrified that i got hacked.But 10 mins later a mail comes ,"Your Facebook password was reset using the email address on Tuesday, April 10, 2018 at 8:24pm (UTC+05:30)."
I tried clicking the links attached, hoping that the password i changed(point<2>) has actually done something to account.NADA, the account still needs a physical license to open:/
4) lost, i just login to my main account and lookup for my lost fake account. the fun part:my account has the display pic of my father?!!?!
So apparently, my father wanted to try facebook, he used the fake account i gave him to create one, fb showed him that this id already has an fb account attached to it and he accidently changed my password.MY FATHER WAS THE HACKER THE WHOLE TIME xD.
but response from fb?" well sir, if you want your virtually shitty account back , you first will have to provide us with all details of your bank transactions or your voter id card, maybe trump will like it"
So the company I provide service to decided to remove the microwaves and fridges from the breakroom in favor of the restaurant of the company.
But since I'm a service provider external of the company, I have to pay fees to eat at the room of the restaurant, plus the price of the menu of course. And we were quite several externals (even some internals) that think the price are/were too expansive and used the microwaves.
Well, fuck you, I'm going to bring my own food.
Needed a rant.2
Last week I stayed at a hotel near Prague. They named their access points like "first floor left" or "restaurant".
Even after 5 days I still had to retype the same generated password when i moved like 5 meter within the building...
Just dropped my c++ book with a note at a restaurant nearby. Now a long wait started. Waiting for an email from the person whose life will be changed because of that book.
I should totally design a fully-automated restaurant.
It wouldn't even be that difficult. 😕
Burgers and fries? Simple!
Salad? No way.
Automated food prep is best idea.10
Moving to a new office this week. The only chinese restaurant nearby is one of those where you get 5 times the amount of rice compared to the meat. Fuck.5
A very nice restaurant in a Vegas casino at 3am.
A friend and I were working on a project after defcon, and we got hungry. It's Vegas, so we have no clue what time it is except for our laptop clocks. And who cares anyways. Time is irrelevant in Vegas. So we got a table at a steak place at Caesars palace. And just dropped our laptops on the table and kept coding.5
We were forced to do a Friday deploy of a new project. I, smartly, decided to bring my laptop with me on a "couples date". I spent the entire evening trying to fix a screwed up deploy from a restaurant.
Wife was NOT happy.3
I can't begin to know where to start. I once worked with a lady that was annoyed by me for stretching and began to start nagging at me for it. I promptly explained to her that hearing her complaints annoyed me as well and that I stretched and yawned because my work made me sleepy due to the fact that I had to listen to her relentless and incessant nagging.
I currently work with a "graphic designer" of 25 years experience who had no idea that color picker tools were an actual thing in real life. He's been eyeballing our brand colors for years. SMH... We collectively refer to him as Captain Colorpicker now.
This same guy had never used a credit or debit card in his entire life to purchase a meal at a restaurant.
I worked with a micromanager that constantly reminded me daily of the hierarchy for decision making in the company and where you stood firmly under her thumb. That is until she conveniently wanted shy away from a tough decision. Then it was all on me.
She was the marketing director and every single one of these stupid titles:
I am in a company as a shareholder with a partner who threatened to take away my shares on several occasions when I don't agree with him. At the time our company was in debt, capital accounts were low, and we were hemorrhaging money to keep afloat. The dumbass tried to offer me $200 per share to "buy me out." The company was $5,000 in the hole and my shares were worth around -$11 each. He never had that much money.
So I am a restaurant and want a glass of water... But none of the waiters respond. I finally get someone they say OK n leave...
5 mins pass... I'm thinking how I'm not gonna tip bc bad service...
Then 3 ppl come all with a glass of water...1
In my senior year of college we had to make a restaurant pos system. Our group made a functional realtime android tablet app.
That allowed for customers to place order, request refills, play a very small game, chat with other tables, and pay for the check which supported splitting.
When an order was placed it strait to the cook part of the app. Which could view orders and complete them based on table number.
When an order was complete or a drink refill request the server part was notified. Where the server could view and finish orders based on table number.
There was also a very lite admin web component for basic reporting.
The UI was horrid, but we completed this in less than a month.2
I am torn apart for several months now. My boss and coworkers are amazing people, projects are quite fun and interesting, workplace is close to home and they pay for my exams (step by step reaching for MCSD certification), but...
The salary if fcking low (you could probably earn same ammount while working as a waitress of normal restaurant). Not only for me of course, but still :( Now I am thinking of running to some bank and doing boring programming job coding same tasks again and again, but getting payed very well4
It annoys me when restaurants provide an online form for reservations, put in their disclaimer that "no reservation = no table", but when you make the reservation things go wrong.
For starters: their infrastructure not working on weekends (while they are open on weekends), them doing manual instead of automatic validation of a reservation, them not even knowing how to manage their own reservation system (which gives me the idea that they purchased some random reservation software).
I ended end having to call them about my reservation, they had a confused voice at the phone while they were navigating their own reservation software and ended up saying "Yeah ok table is booked, bye". I understand they're stressed out but come on, I don't think this is a modern nor graceful process. If you're boasting about having a reservation form, then at least live up to it. It reminds me of another restaurant where I had made a reservation online and when I got there, they told me "Next time book by phone please, we're not used to our software". For *********** sake.
Not specifically a Dev job, but I did do a bit of development at this wifi startup. It was a wifi shop where we set up wifi for hotel clients all over the US. Anyways, they said I would make great money doing "on call" support, and me being an intern and naive I said absolutely I'd do it. Well 3 months later I was put on call essentially every day and one weekend I was with my mother and it was her birthday. At her party at this nice restaurant, with all of our close friends/family, I got a call. It took me 45 minutes to solve because of how idiotic the clients were, and after that I got 4 more calls equally as frustrating and long throughout that night. I asked for help from employees, the owner, ANYONE. Nobody helped. Needless to say I emailed the owner and said farewell that following Monday.
(This conversation is going in WhatsApp)
So a friend of mine asks me if i can build an app for a restaurant to place orders etc.
Me: “Sure, can i have his/her phone number to get in touch with them?”
Friend: “uhmm.. i’d prefer that the communication goes via myself. So what do you want to ask to them?”
Me: “i think that it’ll be easier if i can discuss their wishes and the costs directly with them. Don’t you think?”
He did not answered my question yet.
My question is to you guys; is it wise to take a project from someone that i don’t even know..? Probably my friend is willing to earn some money by raising the price that i ask.
Would you take this project?
So my father asked me what I think about filemaker. I researched, while we were waiting for the food (restaurant) bs holy fuck, I've never gotten this bad vibes from a from something I believe to be a scripting language.
> proprietary (Apple)
> only articles I found about it were related to LinkedIn or at least written like they were
> not a single text based tutorial on the first pages of the search result, only videos (didn't watch them, because my mobile data is too scared for that)
> I can't find anything remotely explaining what this shit is about.
wikipedia was the most best resource I could find
> Free ebook about "how to train your junior developer" for filemaker requires me to enter way too much personal information.2
So I had this assignment for a subject at University about semaphores in C. The theme was "Friend's dinner out" and it had 3 entities and yadda yadda...
The innocent me made this montage of a chef (one of the entities) with a semaphore in his hand and put it in the first page of the report for that assignment.
Until this point, all ok, or so I thought...
The moment I show my report to my friends they burst out laughing and say I literally just created a meme and sent it to a "not so cool" teacher.
They find it hilarious.
Right now I'm nervously waiting for the assignment grades to be published.
Did I screw up my report and thus my assignment?6
be sad that you can't find your favorite Greek Food online.
offer your local Greek Restaurant that you do their web stuff.
make a nice modern website.
show it to the greek guy.
"Oh please look at this website, I like it more"
shows you a site build with tables, and menu-shortcuts only linked to pdf files.
cry in a corner.1
// Publish atleast 1 academic paper
// Complete my master degree
// Get accepted for PhD in Computer Science program with full scholarship/fellowship
// Open my own grill & bbq restaurant3
We went to a restaurant with my family. I decided to check the restaurant's website:
This is a default WordPress website! A template!1
Yay to Raspberry Pi for making it possible for disadvantaged kids to begin programming for less than we pay for a mid priced restaurant dinner.1
Fuck start ups with large projects with no continous integration setup on git... and very many junior devs including the CTO(Not even a googling guru).... for fucks sake we cant deliver spaghettis as iF we are coding a restauRANT... fuck this shit load of a project....4
I don't understand the hype among the non technical people about Blockchain! Why the fuck they want to implement everything in Blockchain? Don't they know that it is not for every single application and mostly used for some trustless applications?
Now one of our clients wants his restaurant website to be implemented in Blockchain!2
I don't care if you're a Senior Developer. You just make me look dumb adjusting to your needs of not normalizing your database queries.
We agreed that a restaurant can have many items, but instead, I get "an item has many restaurants" relationship. Geez.2
I once had an interview at a restaurant named CASINO. As I was about to go into the interview room to meet with the manager a current employee whispered furtively to me, "He is really small".5
Anyone else live/work in a fairly rural area?
Out here (this is the US btw) anything other than 5Mbps DSL is a luxury, Uber doesn't exist, Chinese restaurant is 45 minutes away, oh and lots of druggies. But hey at least theres no traffic and cost of living is reasonable13
Going in for a restaurant interview today because no tech companies want to hire a college student, but I have to get by somehow....2
Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm in Berlin for a week.
Do you have some great locations?
We've (group of friends) already visited almost every sightseeing, the urban bar, Mercedes Platz, Matrix, an Italian restaurant, an Indian restaurant in the first days of our trip. We still have 5 days to relax here.
Today we are going to visit a multicultural carnival.10
Went to a food stall, ordered the dishes(very simple and must have dishes in any food stall) in menu, and they replied it not yet available.. coming soon...
I immediately thought that IT world has affected the food industry too..
Now, they have coming soon and TODO in their Menu..
Imagine, waiters telling:
"Sir, the dish you ordered is currently in beta testing phase, and we are working to push it into prod soon. Meanwhile, enjoy the existing features(dishes) provided by our restaurant"
A linux programmer walks into a restaurant, orders some food from the menu, and asks for a fork. After a while all the programmers at that restaurant start asking for forks.
I just hate the word "menu" today
Even worse: menues
The Internet is a fucking restaurant!
Since I’ve started this new job (Restaurant Server) I haven’t had much time to code and it’s annoying.3
First internship during college,
Made a website using Java EE,
It was a food delivery website with dashboards for website admin and restaurant managers
Learned Java EE, Hibernate and some Frontend and how to manage it all together..
The Frontend was written in JSPs.
I would not do that again.
It was a nice learning experience :)1
I have called for a meeting with my manager's manager expressing concerns and ask for a role change inside the company.
How should I approach this?
My current project is this some IoT stuff being built on the cloud.
The role that I was recruited for and the one I am currently doing is very different thanks to the TPTB who suddenly decided some other team in a different country (lets call them B ) take on that role.
I see a lot of trash work assigned to my team that is a consequence of lack of understanding of the cloud stuff by people upstream and not automating steps in the engineering process like build,test, deploy ( which was part of my initial role description ) and I'm not liking my current role. But my manager doesn't give a damn.
He is just happy to be involved in the project.
I feel like I am having leftovers from a fancy restaurant in spite of having enough money to dine well in the same hotel.
When I bring out the concerns like lack of automating, cost savings in the cloud, improved security configurations to my manager, he doesn't seem to care and not voicing them upstream. If I bring up these topics in any discussion where people outside my team are also there,then I am quickly sidelined.
The rest of my team also don't seem to care. They just don't want to stand up and take responsibility.1
Long day in the office and go out for bottomless pizza except that the restaurant is slower than old dial up Internet
A SQL statement goes to a restaurant ... there he sees 2 TABLES and asks " can i JOIN u two guys ? " :P
Non technical bosses managing technical people should never be allowed. It'd be like if the head chef at a restaurant only knew how to cook Lean Cuisine, but bossed around all the other chefs on how they should do their job.4
Working with Yelp API.
Had a working method to return Restaurant List in a separate project.
Moved that code to a new project.
Spent 3 hours trying to figure out why the tried and true method was returning an empty list.
I forgot I had also made a helper method in that other project to turn km into meters.
Instead of searching a 5km radius, I was searching a 5 meter radius...
(Prior to that I mixed up my longitude and latitude, and searched for pizza places in the antarctic. Spoiler: There are none.)
Note: this is a joke, it's not code related.
Someone goes to a restaurant, and he asks what they got, and the reply to him: "we have a crochet leg, a chopped liver and ligaments"
He says back: "don't tell me about your problems" XD6
Well I developed a small restaurant system to a friend who only paid me $20 😅 I did the system in 4 days, I didn't know how much ask for the system and needed the money that's why I accepted4
Well my last job was nothing but a call center with AT&T, but I will tell the story of how I got my current job which is also my first job as a developer.
I was living in Texas. I just moved out of a house I was renting and my girlfriend at the time moved back to Missouri and she was about 5 months pregnant.
She wanted us to all be in Missouri because that's where her family is. No big deal for me, but we didn't have a place to stay yet in Missouri and it was difficult to find a job in a city that has very little to offer in what I do, and of course, wants experienced people despite what said they were looking for.
For 5 months I kept looking for a job while I stayed with my parents and worked at the call center and she with her mom and stepdad so I could save up to not only make the trip to Missouri but to be able to make a payment on a place which we were also having trouble finding.
Even if I didn't have a job or if we didn't find a place, I was not going to miss the birth of my child. So, within about 3 weeks of her due date, it was time for me to make the trip to Missouri. I still haven't found a job but at least we were going to have a place ready for my child within the week. With all the money I saved, we could get through a couple of months of rent, bills and necessities, but still needed to find work.
After only a week after we got the place, I almost gave up so I started to apply at restaurants as a backup after I found a couple more places. The restaurants were quick to respond and I had interviews scheduled for the week that I applied. I knew I was going to be miserable working at a restaurant, but I needed a job, any job. As a last attempt, the day before my first interview with one restaurant, I found a new posting for an entry level position early in the morning. I quickly sent in my resume but didn't expect anything until weeks later. It only took a few hours for a reply and he wondered if we could do a phone interview. I said yes, of course. After the interview, he said that he had one more person to interview but he would let me know. I thought, great, there goes my chance. After only an hour of waiting, while I was looking for more places to apply, he calls me back saying that he wants to hire me. Immediately after I got the job I cancel my other interviews and I started the next day.
It was great I got the job, but it was a far drive. However, they did offer telecommuting, but I had to come in every day until they felt I understood their work flow. I did inform my boss that my son would be born really soon but he was okay with letting me take off when it was time.
I started on a Wednesday in May of 2014 and made the 1.5 hour drive every day. After only working 10 days, my girlfriend calls me at work saying that it's time for the baby to come but it would be a while so I could finish my shift and then come straight to the hospital.
I get there but still no baby. It was a long labor which ended up in C-section at 4 in the morning the next day. My son was finally born on a Wednesday and it was the greatest thing in my life.
But now, I am a single dad(about a year now and it was mutual) and I am the only developer as of a couple of weeks ago. Despite how they handle things and my annoying coworker that sits next to me which I have ranted about in a previous posts, I do enjoy working there trying to improve and move the company forward. After all, I work from home 3 days out of the week now. The rants will still come lol.
Sorry for the mood kill at the end but that's my story. 😁
Inspired by an overheard conversation (partial) among some of my co-workers:
I'm going to make an app that takes a speech sample, either text, or audio file, and accurately gauges the speakers' ages based on the number of times per minute the word "restaurant" is used.1
I was working at a restaurant and picked up a couple shifts notrealizing they were all on the same day. Started at 5:30 am as the opener, orked my normal 3-close shift and left at 7am the next day after doing after doing the night cleaning job.
I was wondering how do you guys who work or have worked as freelancers price your websites/projects.
I never had a client before and I don't want to spoil my first chance by pricing too high or too low.
I've heard people asking for 500 dollar or 2000 dollars, depending on how much work and time is involved.
How much would you ask for a simple personal website or a restaurant website?
Thank you very much for your time )5
I don't know much about the biology, but from what i know, a virus is never treatable. In due course of time we might generate a medicine that will modify our immunity system to fight against it, like polio and when this medicine is available, all the human race would get it and that's how this epidemic ends.
Until then, we all would need a total social isolation at some instance of time, as it is being done now.
But here is my main question : what to do until then? How will the economy survive? General stores, grocery markets, restaurant and fast food, clothings and many other industries and dominantly involves direct interaction.
Shutting down and going online is also not the solution. Poor/small businesses can't afford it. companies like amazon , dominos, etc have huge network of delivery guys for e shopping, but won't that be soon banned too?
Looks like our technology in robotics and drone delivery is too slow to be proved effective in this situation . I am hoping the technology would be a solution to such situation.
What are your thoughts about it?4
How much will you ask for a windows form app that is for students and is completely functional for a restaurant if i only expend like 10 hours in the developing?11
Hi, I need some advice about android app development. I am a front end web developer and I want to get into android development. I have created a simple restaurant app using phonegap and knockoutjs but I didn't like the performance. Can you recommend how should I get into android development? Nativescript and ionic also lack performance as far as I have researched. Any help is appreciated.11
How much cost to design a restaurant website?
Hello Community Guys, How are you? I require your suggestion? are using website design cost calculators such as ( https://branex.com/website-cost-cal... ) significant in calculating the cost of a small business website.6
How are you all enjoying those restaurant websites lately? I have to fight the urge to try and build one. It sounds like a bad idea... but - I just think - they could be improved!!! Any good examples out there?7
Need guidance about QR code based coupon system.
In my restaurant I sale few food items. My 50+ customer bought food daily (on delivery). They are asking me for coupon system like I sale one sandwich for half 30 INR , they bought 3-4 per day.
So they can buy coupon of 100 sandwich on every delivery my delivery boy will scan QR code of customer and their sandwich count will decrease accordingly.
This will apply for every food item.
Can you suggest me current software for this.1
Still as a scholar who has had his intership I decided that I was finally confident enough in my ability to apply for a small part-time programming job. I had an internship at a cool exhausting place with tons of expertise and I've proven myselve over there. So now I wanted a job on the side. Nothing special, just something that would make a little money with programming instead of washing dishes at the restaurant.
So I started at this small internet based startup (2 or 3 progammers) as a backend-oriented programmer. The working hours were amazingly compatible with my school schedule.
The lead dev also sounded like a smart guy. He had worked as a backend guy for years and had code running on verry critical public infrastructure that if it were to fail we'd be evacuated from our homes.
As a first asignment I got an isolated task to make an importer for some kind of file format that needed integration. So I asked for access to the code. I didn't get it since they were going to re-do the entire backend based on the code I wrote. I just needed to parse the file in a usable object structure. So I found out that the file format was horrible and made a quite nice set of objects that were nice. At the end of the first week or so I asked if I could get access to the code again, so I could integrate it. Answer was no. The lead dev would do that. I could however get access to my private repository.
Next week a new intern was taken to build a multiplatform responsive app. Only downside was that all the stuff he had ever done was php based websites. It wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, but I figured that that was where internships were for. So I ended up helping him a lot and taught him some concepts of OOP and S.O.L.I.D. and the occasional 30 minute rants of IndexOutOfRangeException, ArgumentException and such.
So one day he asked me how to parse a json string and retrieve a specific field out of it.
I gave him something like the following to start with:
if(!JObject.TryParse(jsonString, out json))
if(!json.tryget("foo", out value).../// code continues
but then the main dev stepped in and proposed the following since it wouldn't crash on an API change:
dynamic json = new JObject(jsonString);
string value = json.myJsonValue;
After me trying to explain to him that this was a bad choise for about 15 minutes because of all kinds of reasons I just gave up. I was verry mad that this young boy was forced to use bad programming pracises while he was clearly still learning. I know I shouldn't pick up certain practises. But that boy didn't.
Almost everytime the main dev was at the office I had such a mindboggling experience.
After that I got a new assignment.
I had to write another xml file format parser.
Of course I couldn't have any access to our current code because... it was unnecesary. We were going to use my code as a total replacement for the backend again.
And for some reason classes generated from XSD weren't clear enough so after carefull research I literally wrapped xsd generated code in equivalent classes.
At that moment, I realized I made some code that was totally useless since it wasn't compatible with any form of their API or any of the other backend code. (I haven't seen their API. I didn't have access to the source.) And since I could've just pushed them generated XSD's that would've produced thesame datastructure I felt like I was a cheat. I also didn't like that I wasn't allowed to install even the most basic tooling. (git client or, Ide refactoring plugins, spelling checker etc...)
Now I was also told that I couldn't discuss issues with the new guy anymore since it was a waste of my valuable time, and they were afraid that I taught him wrong concepts.
This was the time that my first paycheck came in so I quitted my job.
I haven't seen any of the features that I've worked on. :)
At my work we have this most generous benefit, free lunch and one hour lunch break. There's one little catch though, our lunch coupons only apply in one of two restaurants. Which one, depends on weekday. Mondays and Thursdays we go to this worthless place called Kvarter 5. Today our one-hour break was a complete waste of time as the food never arrived. GRRRR!!! I get grumpy when I'm hungry! :( I waited patiently for 50 minutes and then gave up, demanding my lunch coupon back, and had lunch at Sagulthai (thai buffet, tasty food, ready to grab with no need to wait). Some of my colleagues staid until the food eventually arrived. They told it wasn't worth the wait. The salmon was burnt and the chicken salad rather bland. Heck no, from now on I'll skip free lunch two days a week. There are so many better restaurants in town, like all of them2
So after about 3 months after I broke up with my girlfriend, I get the feeling of moving my life forward. I started working out again, searching for a normal job and I even have a dream, for the first time in years. I really want to become a pentester. I understand some may be against the idea, but I think that's what I want to do in life. I found a job in tech support and it may be a gateway to moving in the right direction, especially since they give a CCNA course for free after a year. Anyway it beats washing dishes in a restaurant, like I do now.4
Went to NYC to get an MRI and ate out afterwards around KTown, 32nd St and walked into one restaurant. Got the menu and basically saw everything was at least $20-30... Walked out sorta embarrassed but wondering when did they get the expensive... Were they always that expensive...
Went to a curry place next to it and it was OK, just got a beef curry, but that cost $17...
So this year I got a raise "because I'm a top performer" but today I'm just wondering, is this just another inflation adjustment...
Oh, I also bought some cakes... Those were $4 each but had a 3 for $10 deal... and some special bubble tea was $6, gave a pass on that too...4
Preferring Gpay over cards
Me : Having one last 100₹ in account and paying through Gpay in restaurant.
GPay: Can't complete payment. Amount deducted will be refunded in 3-5 business days
Me: 🙄 Even Google let's you down when you need it
WTF with Uber Eats. Finally I had some amount left in my salary. I ordered food via Uber eats and they charged me. After sometime they restaurant not accepted my order and cancelled it. I paid for and I don't have an extra money for ordering. The repayment says it will repay in after 7 days. After Contacting customer care number, it is only priority for the ordered customers only. I'm starving now...Fuck this morning and Uber eats. Any devs from that shitty company take care of that flaw...they are taking this as a fucky business...
What a flaw...taking is faster and repayment takes 7 days...
Seriously out of my mind....fuck...fuck....7
Today I went to a restaurant and I heard some "developers" talking about games. They were talking about an unfamous MOBA game. And the next thing I heard was "I hate MOBA games.... There are too many players". I never went back to that restaurant.
everyones' favourite book 😍
There's A Bitcoin In My Butt And He Is Handsome
With the economy in free-fall and the government teetering on the verge of collapse, Jort has never been more thankful for the bunker in his back yard. But when Jort is asked what he’s doing with all of his money, the doomsday prepper quickly realizes that he’s not as prepared as he once thought.
Now Jort is thrust into the wild world of bitcoin, a decentralized cryptocurrancey that’s in high demand. Hoping to impress one of the attractive open-source coins, Jort schedules a hot date at a fancy restaurant.
Now Jort and his handsome bitcoin, Limbo, are discovering that the value of each other’s buttholes are skyrocketing, and the best transaction moving forward is a hardcore anal pounding!7
meecrob (mic' rob):
‘meecrob’ is a curse word that is far worse than ‘sh-t’. It is that stuff you get as an appetizer at Thai food restaurant. It tastes way grosser than shit.
The knights of standards and practices (the royal order of standards and practices) prevent this word and other ‘words of curse’ from being over-used. if a curse-word is spoken too much, gelden (the monster) will rise and destroy the earth.
mekrob is one of the worst of these words and is hated by GOD, as much as it is by Eric cartman.
1. Eric cartman would scarf down a wet bucket full of shit before he ate another plate of meecrob.
Fans: please raise your hands.
ive had my degree for almost 6 months. still working for the restaurant i started at 4 years ago to get through college, while all my friends have development jobs. im feeling left out. :/8
Creating a restaurant website, during a page with a voucher one month ago:
Me: This page is supposed to have just the image of the voucher?
Designer: No, it is a form that the user could fill and ...
Me: OK (and change the static image with a div that was like the voucher with backgrounds and shit)
Designer: Hey, the restaurant just want a image and the client send the voucher by email.
Inner me: WTF That is just stupid and not user friendly2
So the restaurant I work for get interns to "revamp" the employee website (says so right on the page). The site didnt work the first couple days they had it up. Then it was fine for a week. Now everyone is getting a 404. I had thought about working as a software engineer for home office, but now Im not sure I want to since they cant even get a website working correctly for more than a week.