customer who didn't paid for 3 months: why is our server down?

me: server?. what server?.

You know those fibonacci numbers can't hide from this porsche ......

I may have unconsciously follow this guide way to much...

Home sweet home

D: wut

“Due tomorrow”

You mean: “Do Tomorrow”

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.

if you're going to fucking change the project requirements on a daily basis, don't ask me if I ever considered designing the project the way that I initially proposed and you shot down, like you fucking thought of it.

Simple, it's recursion

There's not much worse than trying to fix your CSS for half an hour, only to realise that it's a cache issue...

The truth has been spoken 😂

"Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders." - Unknown

My (junior) colleague gives me an existential crisis as he builds a fabric.js clone from scratch up in very little time.

Then he tells me he forgot his 4 digit bank pin he's be using for 7 years.

One of my personal projects.
Just trying something new ☺

There should be a name for rants about fake stories. Like the ones you read and can smell some bs going on. I suggest frants.

Happy star w-
SHUT THE FUCK UP
...okay

What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte!

You've probably already heard this one but if not and your a LoTR fan, your welcome.

Note: 40% of the time this works all the time as a pickup line.

Ahhh DDoS attacks

Its an exciting day to continue my Web dev w/ Golang on udemy by Todd McLeod after my two days break.

I got board and decided to make a weather app.

I have designed everything except the font which is Open Sans.

The app will be created on Electron and will be my first entry into that world.

It is currently in the design phase but thought it might be nice to share it's development with you guys.

I hope you like it and as always feedback is more than welcome.

string excuses[]={
"it's not a bug it's a feature",
"it worked on my machine",
"i tested it and it worked",
"its production ready",
"your browser must be caching the old content",
"that error means it was successful",
"the client fucked it up",
"the systems crashed and the code got lost" ,
"this code wont go into the final version",
"It's a compiler issue",
"it's only a minor issue",
"this will take two weeks max",
"my code is flawless must be someone else's mistake",
"it worked a minute ago",
"that was not in the original specification",
"i will fix this",
"I was told to stop working on that when something important came up",
"You must have the wrong version",
"that's way beyond my pay grade",
"that's just an unlucky coincidence",
"i saw the new guy screw around with the systems",
"our servers must've been hacked",
"i wasn't given enough time",
"its the designers fault",
"it probably won't happen again",
"your expectations were unrealistic",
"everything's great on my end",
"that's not my code",
"it's a hardware problem",
"it's a firewall issue",
"it's a character encoding issue",
"a third party API isn't responding",
"that was only supposed to be a placeholder",
"The third party documentation is wrong",
"that was just a temporary fix.",
"We outsourced that months ago.","
"that value is only wrong half of the time.",
"the person responsible for that does not work here anymore",
"That was literally a one in a million error",
"our servers couldn't handle the traffic the app was receiving",
"your machines processors must be too slow",
"your pc is too outdated",
"that is a known issue with the programming language",
"it would take too much time and resources to rebuild from scratch",
"this is historically grown",
"users will hardly notice that",
"i will fix it" };

I was excited about a Hackathon... got there and the theme was REGEX! Just kill me already!

Nothing worse then the fear you made a mistake a sudden feeling of absolute terror.

Lucky this time did nothing wrong 🙄

Why aren't I more careful.

IT has returned to work and the servers are still working. The true Christmas miracle!

A project is never done... It's just pushed to production

My first dev job. Me and another guy get hired at the same time. He will be the lead dev, and I’ll be the junior dev on a long term project. Project gets delayed (and eventually canceled, but that’s a different story), so the lead dev decides to give me programming challenges to test my skill level. I successfully complete the challenges, but they aren’t up to his standards. Belittles me in front of our manager. Afterwards I ask him to show me how he would have done it. The dude can barely type let alone show me the way it should be done. I say nothing to the manager.

A few weeks pass, it’s clear the project we were hired for is canceled, so we are given other work. They task the lead dev with porting the company website to Wordpress so non-devs can alter content. They chose Wordpress mainly because the lead dev said he is familiar with it. Two weeks later, no progress has been made. They ask me if I can do it, and I do it in 2 days including additional functionality that was requested. Manager asks me why I thought lead dev couldn’t do what I did. I said, “I don’t think lead dev knows what the fuck he is doing. I don’t think he knows how to program.” Manager says, “Huh.”

Several months later lead dev is still there, but has yet to work on any projects with any success. They finally let him go.

Glad to finally get that off my chest.

Showing someone my GitHub profile...

I think this should happen when people get over 9000++

Pro Tip: You can also charge your laptop faster by placing it carefully in the microwave and setting the timer for 10 minutes.

If all else fails; jumping off a bridge is also another natural way of preventing you from getting your devices infected