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SkillsPHP, Laravel, CSS, JavaScript, C#, .NET Core
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LocationNetherlands
Joined devRant on 12/7/2017
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You know the anxiety that is caused by having your boss breathing down your neck as you fix something?
.....
WELL I DON'T
SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKER AND WATCH THIS SHIT
I fucking invite this micromanaging fuckery. Come on dude get closer and check this shit out. Countless hours perfecting my sweet skills, lemme show them to you and make yo dumbass feel inadequate AF
dude was literally looking as i saved the day over some fuckery that happened while i was taking care of alllll the other motherfucking support tickets.
Dude even said wow.
I said "i am in this bitch what's up?"
Guarantee mfkers won't fuck with you if you show them how much of a fucking boss you are.
*doesn't drop mic
*smashes guitar instead8 -
So today my middle company put a meeting with the new HR.
Meeting subject: you can't poach inside the company.
Context: I resigned, and I'll be taking with me 3 profiles.
HR: If you do take them, we'll take you to court.
Me: Why?
HR: It's poaching and by contract, you can't.
Me: You can show which clause?
HR: That's not the problem.
Me: Also in France, you need to notify the employee as you are denying his right to get a job. And pay him for that.
HR: What? That's none sense! Stop talking and listen.
Me: Ok
HR: We'll sue you and crush you. You'll have so much legal problem that you...
Me: I'll just start recording on my phone, so you say that you accept it and continue your intimidation rant.
HR: What? No!! Stop that.
Me: *stop it* Would you rather have my lawyer with us? Because we'll need to reschedule the meeting.
HR: If you continue that way, we'll tarnish your name and no company will hire you.
Me: You really aren't familiar with IT, right? Because I could delete ALL production. No system work. The BCP will kick in. You will lose one or two days. Then make an article of it, showing what kind of process or security should have been implemented. And I will still get a high pay job!!
HR: You know what? Get out! If you want to go to war, your problem.
Me: Ok, so you'll be getting news from my lawyer by mail.
HR: what?
Me: Yeah, that harassment. And my lawyer will get in touch. And I might also post on LinkedIn. And talk about it in the next events I'm invited.
HR: that's, that's...
Me: freedom of speech. Don't worry I'll write it so it's only viewed as my opinion. Have a nice day.
Two hours later my friend, lawyer, send them a mail and email.
Three hours later the COO calls me. Saying that HR was out of line and that it'll no occur again. It was an error and I should be forgiving.
So now all discussion with HR must be held with my attorney :). And middle company pay for it.6 -
Finally! Today just received my stickers 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
It was funny because my mom sent me a message with a photo of the letter envelope (closed, obviously) and said "This just arrived today, It‘s from New York, WTF?!“
I laughed and answered "WOW! Those are my devRant stickers 😱😁“
It‘s also hilarious ’cause she though it was from my phone service 😂7 -
Interns built a user login portal. Password reset page takes user email from a GET parameter.
You can literally reset passwords if you know the emails 😂😂😂😂5 -
This one project at my study.
We always had to do quite some documentation, even some in a way that works the opposite of how my brain works.
That's all fine if you can agree on doing it differently.
Had this teacher who valued documentation above anything else. The project was 10 weeks, after 9 weeks my documentation got approved (yes, not a single line of code yet) and I could finally program for the remaining 5 days.
Still had quite some bugs at say number five, the day of presentation.
I imagined that'd be okay since I only had 4 full days instead of the 5-8 weeks everyone else had.
Every bug was noted and the application was "unstable" and "not nearly good enough".
At that moment I thought like "if this is the dev life, I'm out of here".7 -
When one of those "Your windows has been infected, click here to remove virus now" ads slips through the adblocker while I'm on my Linux3
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Reviewing coworker's code:
Me: I see you're doing a convoluted sort for every element twice to get your two lists in sync... 😐
CoWorker: Yeah. *straight face, no regrets* That's the only way to do this.
Me:... Uh... No? You can just manage one list with a simple struct and then use the the standard sort.
Coworker: Yeah sure I know. But it'll take time. We don't have time.
Me: *aghast* This is embarrassingly bad code!
Coworker: Don't worry, later on I'll use a hashmap for it. But this needs to be pushed now.
Me: *to myself, no you don't need a hashmap*
Okay, you do you but I can't back you on this. It isn't going to take a lot of time to correct it.
Next day.
Coworker: Hey can you review my code again?
Me: You've made the changes already? *in a bored tone, knowing that they wouldn't have changed shit*
Coworker: No this is a different file. Our manager agrees that we can worry about performance later.
Me: Sure. *😀🔨🔨*
Few weeks pass by:
QA: The operation takes absurdly long time to complete even with the smallest data. Ten minutes for X is unacceptable.
Me: Who would've known? ☺️21 -
Hey ranters!
I'm here to ask a huge favor.
So I used to be on the app more frequently last year, but I started to work on a shit ton of personal/professional projects. I'm not technically back to being a regular again (probably never will be), I'm back to ask all you great devs to possibly check out a platform I'm working on. It's not 100% completed yet, but I'm at that weird 90% mark where you're almost done but you start to find other interesting things to do, so I'm forcing myself to ask people to hop on it to give me that push. It's going to have some interesting (if I say so myself) features.Definitely appreciate it! (Please don't kill me over the UI/UX, I'm primarily a backend dev...but it'll definitely improve by 100% Launch)
AND ONE LAST THING....I don't have a good name for it yet so..there's that..
THANKS!23 -
Gitfolio - generate a presentable portfolio website out of your github repo for job hunting.
https://github.com/imfunniee/...7 -
Seriously, god bless Laravel and Taylor Otwell.
I've just had a customer foolishly delete all their user accounts. The customer was seriously stressed about this and as it usually goes, this stress was echoed in the call.
I explained how they can easily restore the deleted records in a single click as I have configured Laravel's "soft delete" functionality site wide. i.e. when they delete a record it isn't really deleted. Functionality to physically delete the record is hidden away outside the client's user level.
Customer was seriously grateful and paid for 2 hours of my time (even though the call took 15 mins) and generally gave me lots of kudos.
Laravel, awesome.6 -
Microsoft WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K. WHAT IS THE REASON TO UPDATE VISUAL STUDIO INSTALLER TO UNINSTALL VISUAL STUDIO.16