Hey everyone! @trogus and I are headed to TechDay New York tomorrow (May 10) and there will be a devRant booth in the social network section. If any devRanters are attending, you should definitely stop by our booth! There will be free swag and we’d love to meet some fellow ranters!

Time to move to New York!

I think I once saw Richard Stallman in a subway in New York, but I'm still not sure if it really was him or just another hobo.

I wanted to go up to him and ask, but was too scared that I might offend him if it _was_ him or get attacked by a hobo if not.

Ok. Who's car is that ? And what is it doing 650km from New York ?

I'm from the UK. My CS teacher took a dislike to me in junior high school, dissuading me from taking the classes I needed to take computer science at college. I ended up starting an economics major and then dropping out.

With the support of my family and friends I started over as a self taught as a developer.

I'm now a Tech Director in New York and love my job.

JUST GOT MY STICKERS!!

Super cool that they wrote the address on envelope by hand! Love the stamp btw ;)

Gonna stick these on my laptop!

Thanks @dfox !

Dear recruiters and so called "startups".

If you want to attract me by starting with the phrase: "Mobile lead role in Startup" and you go on like...

"We are a startup with offices in Shanghai, Hongkong, Vancouver, San Francisco, New York,... "

or

"We are a startup and also the 6th biggest phone network in the world... "

No thanks, enjoy your startup themed cubicles and fuck off!

😂 They killed it.

If i delete the small ; here .. whole app will collapse in new york city
This is called butterfly effect.
}{

Finally! Today just received my stickers 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

It was funny because my mom sent me a message with a photo of the letter envelope (closed, obviously) and said "This just arrived today, It‘s from New York, WTF?!“

I laughed and answered "WOW! Those are my devRant stickers 😱😁“

It‘s also hilarious ’cause she though it was from my phone service 😂

Got the stickers! All the way from New York to Switzerland (:

New York Times has their survey game on lock

Windows spares nobody... Not even the New York Mets.

Any developers here working on automated trading systems?

Picture below shows my personal Forex box that I've been working on for over a year. Still in progress.

Im based in Brooklyn, New York

Got my stickers today after it travelled all the way from New York to India...

Thanks a lot!

it seems like every single book in the world is a NeW yOrK tImEs BeStSeLlEr 🤡

Like restaurants in New York, you can learn a new Javascript framework every month for 15 years and never learn the same framework twice

when I graduated my dad would 'help' me in my job hunt by cutting out postings from the New York Times for "Lead Software Engineer" positions at Microsoft, Google etc despite the fact that I really was just trying to get a junior level position...

The idea of a smiley face in text wasn’t invented by Scott Fahlman in 1982. It was invented by a Russian writer Vladimir Nabokov. In his 1969 interview for the New York Times, to whether he considers himself a modern writer, he replied:

“I think that in typography there should be a symbol that conveys a smile, a bit like a paren laying on its side. I would use precisely that symbol to reply to your question”.

This is why russian, Ukrainian and other people still use “)” as a smiley face still, instead of Western “:)” and “:-)”. We sometimes add more parens, like “)))))))” instead of “xD” or “:D”.

Earth to Moon - 238,900 mi
Moon to Earth - 238,900 mi
New york to London - 3,459 mi
London to New york - 3,459 mi

Monday to Friday - 5
Friday to Monday - WTF!!!

Another Swedish hostingcompany bragging about the data center in New York they have. It apparently withstanded the hurricane Katrina

I'm in New York. Now where is devRant swag store?

A couple of years ago, we decide to migrate our customer's data from one data center to another, this is the story of how it goes well.

The product was a Facebook canvas and mobile game with 200M users, that represent approximately 500Gibi of data to move stored in MySQL and Redis. The source was stored in Dallas, and the target was New York.

Because downtime is responsible for preventing users to spend their money on our "free" game, we decide to avoid it as much as possible.

In our MySQL main table (manually sharded 100 tables) , we had a modification TIMESTAMP column. We decide to use it to check if a user needs to be copied on the new database. The rest of the data consist of a savegame stored as gzipped JSON in a LONGBLOB column.

A program in Go has been developed to continuously track if a user's data needs to be copied again everytime progress has been made on its savegame. The process goes like this: First the JSON was unzipped to detect bot users with no progress that we simply drop, then data was exported in a custom binary file with fast compressed data to reduce the size of the file. Next, the exported file was copied using rsync to the new servers, and a second Go program do the import on the new MySQL instances.

The 1st loop takes 1 week to copy; the 2nd takes 1 day; a couple of hours for the 3rd, and so on. At the end, copying the latest versions of all the savegame takes roughly a couple of minutes.

On the Redis side, some data were cache that we knew can be dropped without impacting the user's experience. Others were big bunch of data and we simply SCAN each Redis instances and produces the same kind of custom binary files. The process was fast enough to launch it once during migration. It takes 15 minutes because we were able to parallelise across the 22 instances.

It takes 6 months of meticulous preparation. The D day, the process goes smoothly, but we shutdowns our service for one long hour because of a typo on a domain name.

College is worse than cancer.

Worse than tumor.

Worse than any (un)imaginable death or torture.

I feel dull.

I feel DUMBED DOWN.

I FEEL DUMBER AFTER 6 YEARS OF COLLEGE COMPARED TO BEFORE STARTING COLLEGE.

6 fucking years of wrecking my healthy brain in college.

Has now became unhealthy and mentally unstable.

I forgot almost EVERYTHING i knew about coding.

Because in a "COMPUTER SCIENCE" college they teach everything BUT coding.

The professors and assistants have no morals.

They are INHUMANE.

Professors are ready to walk across a fucking corpse.

If your mother gets cancer and you are unable to come to class or study, the professors dont give a FUCK, they will drop you down so you have to study for exams again instead of helping your ill mother.

Professors have NO COMPASSION.

NO DIGNITY.

They are just BRAINLESS robots.

Sentients, agents working for the matrix.

They keep reading the same script every year and call that a successful career.

IF PROFESSORS AND ASSISTANTS AT COLLEGE ACTUALLY KNEW TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL IN LIFE, THEY WOULD NOT BE PROFESSORS AND ASSISTANTS FOR THE MAJORITY (OR WHOLE) OF THEIR LIFE.

I gave my maximum effort.

I SACRIFICED MY LIFE FOR SCHOOL.

Just to end up with school spitting on my face.

I feel DUMBED down.

Robotic.

Procedural minded.

As some brainless retard who has to follow orders as if im a 6 year old who doesn't know what to do.

Like a computer.

Because of college - i have no will to live.

Because of college - i no longer have passion for coding.

Because of college - i no longer know what is my purpose in life.

Because of college - i feel like im floating in cosmos, somewhere far deep into the space, without knowing where im going, what im doing, why im doing what im doing...

I feel void inside me.

I also feel vengeance inside me.

SCHOOL HAS RUINED MY LIFE.

It made me mentally insane.

It made me mentally so sick that i had to watch head decapitation gore videos to calm myself down, so i can imagine the victims being murdered are the professors and assistants from my college.

PROFESSORS AND ASSISTANTS HAVE 0 UNDERSTANDING FOR OTHER HUMAN LIFE.

MILLIONS of people have private problems going on in their lives every day.

What if someone cant pass an exam because of private problems that's going on in their life?

What if the student is abused by a family member?

What if the student has ANY non-self destructive negative event happening to them, which they're not at fault, and can not control?

What if the student got cancer and cant study for exams, is he supposed to fail?

What if the student came home and the police knocked on his door and said "sorry for your loss, your whole family just died in car accident" and student falls into depression and cant study for exams, is he supposed to fail???

There are infinite multitude of random events this damned universe can do to a human life.

BUT PROFESSORS AND ASSISTANTS;
DO
NOT
GIVE
A
FUCK.

I feel soulless.

I feel like i signed a contract with the devil when i started college by selling him my soul.

School (when i say school, i also mean college, because its the same fucking shit under a different name) is supposed to represent "education".

Lets talk about it.

What exactly are we being "EDUCATED" in school?

To memorize pdf slides?

Memorize textbook?

Memorize notes?

Memorize formulas?

Memorize memorize memorize???

First of all, all of what we're "studying" is BULLSHIT, second of all MEMORIZING all of this means you're gonna forget 60% of it tomorrow, 80% in the next 2 days and you'll forget 100% of what you "learned" by the 7th day.

SOCIETY TOLD YOU TO MEMORIZE USELESS BULLSHIT AND TOLD YOU THAT YOU'RE BEING EDUCATED THAT WAY. YOU MUST BE FUCKING DUMB TO BELIEVE THAT.

If memorizing == education, then i do NOT want to be a part of this "education".

BEFORE starting college i coded many projects.

I self-learned everything.

6 years of college and it taught me LESS THAN ZERO.

NOT EVEN ZERO.

LESS THAN ZERO because i got dumbed down, below the underground, and had to dig myself up on the surface.

I built software for an american real estate agency and sold it for 5 figures.

I built software for 3 people from New York for another 5 figures.

I even got offers to work in local software companies without having a degree.

At internship i was given a task to finish in 2 weeks. I finished it in 3 days. They were shocked and wanted to hire me for further work.

At another internship there was 4 of us working together as a team. At the end company contacted only ME and told me i showed the best results on their list out of ALL the teams and the team members that were with me.

Ever since i had to study for disgusting college i had to stop working.

Because of college, i have no source of income for MONTHS now.

Because of college, i had several mental breakdowns.

---

To all professors and assistants:

I pray that karma ruins your life with lethal outcome, and your kids die of cancer in pain.

This wanker approached me via LinkedIn before new year to be team lead to a diverse team of devs spread over a few time zones.

The mission? Build a metacritic clone, but geographically constrained to New York.

Me : How much are you offering?

Him: <radio silence>

Less stressful days from now on! Thanks guys! It took only 1 month and 5 days to them to travel from New York to Central Finland, but all worth it.

Happines is...
Stickers and my LocalHost
tnx @dfox
New York ---> Iran, Kurdestan, Saghez

A dev life in Queen songs:

„A Kind of Magic“ - Build successful
„A Winter’s Tale“ - Key Account Manager visits customer
„Action This Day“ - Release day
„All Dead, All Dead“ - System down
„Another One Bites the Dust“ - kill -9 4711
„Breakthru“ - 10 hour debuging session
„Chinese Torture“ - Microsft Office
„Coming Soon“ - Client asks for delivery date
„Dead on Time“ - shutdown -t 10
„Doing All Right“ - How's the progress on the new feature?
„Don’t Lose Your Head“ - git push -f
„Don’t Stop Me Now“ - In the zone
„Escape from the Swamp“ - Hand in resignation letter
„Forever“ - while(1)
„Friends Will Be Friends“ - friend class Vector;
„Get Down, Make Love“ - No rule to make target "Love"
„Hammer to Fall“ - Release day
„Hang on in There“ - 2 weeks until release
„I Can’t Live With You“- Microsoft
„I Go Crazy“ - Microsoft
„I Want It All“ - Google
„I Want to Break Free“ - free( (void*) 0xDEADBEEF );
„I’m Going Slightly Mad“ - Impossible feature requested
„If You Can’t Beat Them“ - Impossible feature promised by sales
„In Only Seven Days“ - Impossible feature ordered
„Is This the World We Created...?“ - Philosphic moments
„It’s a Beautiful Day“ - Weekend
„It’s a Hard Life“ - Weekday
„It’s Late“ - Deadline was last week
„Jesus“ - WTF?
„Keep Passing the Open Windows“ - Interprocess communication
„Keep Yourself Alive“ - Daily struggle
„Leaving Home Ain’t Easy“ - Time to get up and go to work
„Let Me Entertain You“ - Sales meets customer
„Liar“ - Sales
„Long Away“ - Project start
„Loser in the End“ - Dev
„Lost Opportunity“ - Job ad
„Love of My Life“ - emacs/vim
„Machines“ - Computer
„Made in Heaven“ - git
„Misfire“ - Unhandled exception at Memory location 0xDEADBEEF
„My Life Has Been Saved“ - Google drive/Facebook
„New York, New York“ - Meeting at customer
„No-One But You“ - Bus factor = 1
„Now I’m Here“ - Morning rush hour
„One Vision“ - Management goals
„Pain Is So Close to Pleasure“ - NullPointerExcption
„Party“ - Delivery completed
„Play the Game“ - Customer meeting inhous -
„Put Out the Fire“ - Support hotline
„Radio Ga Ga“ - GSM/GPRS/UMTS/LTE/5G
„Ride the Wild Wind“ - Arch Linux
„Rock It“ - Linux
„Save Me“ - CTRL-S/CTRL-Z
„See What a Fool I’ve Been“ - git blame
„Sheer Heart Attack“ - rm -rf /
„Staying Power“- UPS
„Stealin’“ - Stack Overflow
„The Miracle“ - It works
„The Night Comes Down“ - It doesn't work
„The Show Must Go On“ - Project cancelled
„There Must Be More to Life Than This“ - Philosophic moments
„These Are the Days of Our Lives“ - Daily routine
„Under Pressure“ - 1 day until release
„Was It All Worth It“ - Controlling
„We Are the Champions“ - Release finished
„We Will Rock You“ - Sales at customer
„Who Needs You“ - HR
„You Don’t Fool Me“ - Debugging session
„You Take My Breath Away“ - rm -rf /
„You’re My Best Friend“ - emacs/vim

London feels like a calmer version of New York or my native Chicago. I'm starting to get tempted to work here.

So as some of you may know from my previous rants I am recently single, and it occured to me that that means I can move, like, anywhere. And I think I might just do that. I'm currently in in Utah, USA, living about 50 miles from where I was raised, and I'm kinda sick of it.

Sooooo... Suggestions? I have been thinking about maybe the UK or Germany, or if I stay in the US maybe San Diego, Denver, or New York City, but I am open to many possibilities. What do you guys think?

I work in a small scale company based on Kolkata, India. It's my first job and I have been working here for last 6 and half years. Now I am the technical lead there.

I love my job. I love taking new challenges which I need to solve on my own (most of the times). My working hours are 9am to 6pm. Hardly I have to stay late at office. Even if I have any client meeting after 6, I do it from home. I am never tired on Mondays, I love to join my office. I can do my personal projects after reaching home, sometimes even in the office. All these goods come with a small price, I get less salary than my friends who are working on the MNCs (e.g. IBM, TCS, HP etc). They are frustrated though, with their jobs, with their bosses, with the long working hours. I am not. Sometimes I feel bad that I earn less. But that feeling doesn't stay much longer. It goes away whenever I join the office and get a new thing to do.

I have rejected offers from many companies. That includes all the major MNCs working in India. I feel bad about that sometimes, just like currently I am feeling. One my friend (a really bad developer) is roaming in the New York city, he is there for an onsite project. I know I can't go their, at least now. And that feels bad.

What should I do? Does it make me an idiot to stay in a company for more than 6 years? Should I switch and join an MNC like everyone does? I am confused. Pretty confused.

Deployments, a limerick:

there once was an ops guy from New York,
who was working on deploying a fork.
the docs were weak
the code memory leaked
in a half hour all of production was borked.

You know, I read so often about people out there who don't have WiFi or don't have cell service for miles, and until today, I had little considderatoom for how truly tough that can be. I grew up during the cell revolution, but I didn't use smartphones til I was 16. But now that I went to visit relatives in the country, we went over a hundred miles without cell service. Where was I? New York. Now this may sound whiney or petty, but for people who live out here (and especially people in third-world countries), they are missing out on the many benefits of internet access. Connectivity is good. I support it now more than ever.

+50℃ in New York, every day, for three months straight, every summer. Only then they will realize the climate change is real.

My status:
Graduate student studying Computer Science at the University of New York at Buffalo.
4 Computer Vision and Image Processing Projects
3 Distributed Systems projects (Android apps).
Red Hat Certifications.
Applied to 135 companies for an internship program.
Here are the replies I have gotten so far.
" We have analyzed your resume and we think you'll be a great choice for this position at our company."
What position?
MARKETING INTERN.
FML!

On my trip to New York I bought a C# 7 in a Nutshell book (nutshell being 1000+ pages).
The best money I've ever spent. That thing is awesome😍

This is what I’ve got on LinkedIn today People are getting creative, not sure how to respond to that. I am curious to see what this scam is all about 🤷‍♂️

Dear PappyHans,

I hope this email finds you well and safe. My name is **** and I work for ******, a leading expert network company based in New York. I am currently working with a client who is conducting a project and needs expertise on Digital Engineering - ***** .

After some research I did regarding the topic, I concluded that you would be a great fit for this project, given your experience.

Please, let me know if you would be willing to share your expertise on this subject through a paid phone consultation. For your input and time, you will be compensated with a fee that you can set yourself. As a reference – the average rate of our consultations is around 400$/hour.

It is essential to note that in no way will you be asked to discuss your current employer nor any kind of confidential information during the phone consultation.

Should you be interested in this subject, I would be more than happy to address any questions regarding the topic on LinkedIn or by phone

Kind Regards
(Sender name)

In all countries except the USA, Chanel logo is just "Chanel, Paris". In the USA, it's fucking abomination "Chanel® inc. New-York, N.Y. 10019".

People from the USA, please tell me, is American bureaucracy really that bad?

IPhone speech to text has come a long way. Definitely has improved. Real-time dictation rather than batching it.

I am currently doing approximately 50 percent of my rants by voice. In fact the rank you are reading I did by voice.

You can easily do punctuation such as a period, new paragraph, new line, caps and lower case. The speech recognition is excellent even with my New York accent and it learns the more you use it. Rarely does it get a word wrong.

Editing still has to be done manually and is a pain but that may change as dragon already allows you to do in-line editing. iOS speech to text has already surpassed dragon in some facets.

I do have to press the add new and post buttons at this Time to post my rants. But that may change as the enhanced dictation on the map allows you access to specific commands.

I will keep you informed of progress and I will be testing on android over the next few days as well.

New York time!

What kind of apartment could a typical programmer afford in New York?

I am from Europe and don't consider moving to the US. I am just curious

During snowstorm yesterday in New York City, not even half of the developers showed up.

I wasn't able to get much work done.

Curse you mother nature!

Made a pull request..review tonight... Deployment tomorrow night.. or morning according to new york time... Hope I don't wake up to pissed off comments in the request.

The customer service dept at Koss Headphones sent me an adapter gratis for my Pro 4/AA headphones so I could listen to loud rock and roll on my pc. I've been using Koss exclusively since I rec'd a pair for Christmas in 1971. Despite the natural deterioration in sound quality on a PC, I found I could hear more on certain Rolling Stones soundboards [the ones in question are Philadelphia 1972 and New York City a week later]. So I penned a rather whimsical email to Michael Koss, who actually replied with a letter, the kind we used to lick stamps for and put in a mailbox.
OK, that PC died. And the HP I have somehow has a really loose jack so the whole mechanism will slide out if you move the least little bit. It happened so often I became shell shocked about listen to loud music on my headphones at night when my nabes were sleeping because I didn't want to wake anybody up.
Finally, after too much jiggling, the end bit of the adapter got stuck in the headphone jack. Koss sent me another adapter gratis. Last night, I got out my headphones, removed the new adapter from its envelope, and inserted tweezers into the jack to pull the broken off bit out.
Except the broken off bit slid deeper into the jack. On my own, I have been able to rig the pc so I can use the speakers. And a friend who can remove the bit of the jack stuck in the jack will be over in a couple of days.
I went online and googled the methods others have used to remove broken off bits. That was worth the keystrokes!
In any case, I just wanted to say something about the irony of expecting the problem to be over and then having a few days more to live with the broken bit.

So a long time ago, I posted Ink lyrics from ColdPlay, and gave them a DevOp twist. I will post the full lyrics, as memorabilia and for a chill moment from rants:

Got access rules said "prod/maintainer"
Pulled in your change with my cli
And you wonder when you wake up
Did it build last night?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Feels like the pipeline, is broken inside

All I know
All I know
Is that I'm host
When company broke
AIl I know
Is that I love to code
So much that it hurts

Got a homebrew but the shell aint right, oooh, oooh
Just want a way of keeping docker alive
All I know, All I know
Is that the post
BreachForums indorsed
All I know
Is that the data is sold
So much that it hurts
I see that Forbes, and New York Times
They said my boss, began to fire
I see my console and Im mashing Ctrl-C
All I know
Is that loved to code
So much it

Rant 1
---

I have so much shit to talk about and its annoying to wait 2+ hours between each rant just to rant so ill start off by ranting about not being able to rant as often as i want to rant

Rant 2
---

What is ORM doing under the hood if it makes the queries so much slower than compared to writing raw sql?

Rant 3
---
Im thinking of creating more accounts just to be able to say what i want to say without waiting these dumbass 2+ hours. Who tf even made that and thought it was a good idea. Ur not saving ur bandwidth storage by making devs wait to rsnt bro itll be the same shit

Rant 4
---
Now by writing 3 rants in a row i forgot what i wanted to rant about more and its an enitrely different topic so ill rant about not remembering what i wanted to rant about because of devrants dumbass 2+ hour wait logic

Rant 5
---
Wow this new york company looking for senior devops dev requires a lot less shit to know compared to the saudi arabian shithole company for the exact same position. But how do i learn all of what they require fast so i can apply for this position since the recruiter has contacted me

I'm usually really productive when I work from home. At my Seattle gig, I worked from home 3~4 days a week (most of my team was in New York City anyway). My current company does not do remote work well, and I've been terribly unmotivated. Our useless manager took the entire week off to work on his house he's trying to rent out.

I'm usually not one to worry or panic or even check the news, yet I've found myself doing that all the time now.

It's been very surreal.

So it looks like the US became german again?

I wish we could nuke new york lmao

People all over the world own dogs as pets. In some places in the world people eat dogs.

Is it okay to feed your pet dog the scraps left over from eating dog?

I also pointed out to a coworker that New York has huge rats. I then said: "street steak".
The response was: "Why?!"

The pointless life of a prophet is such:

In 2012 when everyone was wondering if nibiru was gonna knock us off orbit or bring the Anunnaki to our door with evictions notices, I was wondering if New York City boroughs are going to float off into the ocean in eight years…. (I know that sounds incredibly specific at the same time isolated and random, but my sources are as most conspiracy theorists sources; YouTube and random…) and yet… wrong again…Covid…

Waaaiit… 🤔🤨😅don’t think about anymore connections.

SAD END😭😭

The world of cinema is in mourning as the actor Jason Statham, who plays Frank Martin in the film "the transporter" was shot in his home in New York by thieves who broke into his home.

He wanted to stand against them to protect his family but the thugs were right about him.

He was shot 4 bullets one in the head three in the chest 😭

This all happened around 2:18 am in a movie I watched last night.

SAD END🙄🤫

Hey devrant community, i have a question.
I am 22 and currently work as a C++ developer in a large company in London. I really want to move into finance and possible HFT and move to NYC. Can ayone suggest a good learning path for the transition from the airline industry to finance ?

Thanks im advance

Danny Swersky

Address: New York, New York

Danny Swersky is an educational leader with almost two decades of experience. Danny Swersky of New York uses his creativity to help grow and scale teams and communities of change. With collaborations of workforce development, organization and leadership, Danny Swersky strives to make the world we live a better place for our children.

#Education #Danny Swersky #Daniel Swersky

Alessandro Demarinis Yonkers

Address: New York, USA

Alessandro Demarinis of Yonkers owns and operates a reputable plumbing company in New York. Alessandro Demarinis of Yonkers provides top-notch plumbing services tailored to meet individual residential and commercial business needs. Alessandro Demarinis of Yonkers employees a team of highly skilled and experienced plumbing professionals, dedicated to delivering exceptional results in a timely and professional manner.

#Plumbing #Alessandro Demarinis Yonkers

Why are the smelly crustacean's that reproduce asexually and then die modeled after new York Jews in Futurama ? Lol thought I'd ask on this our continued fucking anniversary